Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman s01e06 Episode Script

It's steep.
Back! It's going But it's caught by Kent! This ball game is over.
What do you mean, you can't make it? Poker game starts in a few hours.
Where am I supposed to find another player at the last minute? All right.
Look, I'll talk to you later.
- How you doing, Kent? - Hi, Chief.
You know, it occurs to me that well, we don't see enough of each other.
- We see each other 10 hours a day, sir.
- Oh, no, I mean socially.
You know, a couple of old newspaper cronies going out, having a few beers, some laughs.
That's nice of you.
I think I have Thursday free.
The game starts at 9:00.
Tonight.
Right here.
See you then.
Game? Poker.
I bet you were a real monster around the tables back in Smallville? Actually, I was never very good at poker, sir.
Well, that's even better.
I'm out.
$20.
Too rich for me.
All right, let's see, Clark, just to make this interesting, I'm going to see your $20, and I'm going to raise you How much do you make here during the week? Just funning with you, son.
Relax.
Let's just say, $50.
Guess I played my cards right.
Take your time now.
Make the right decision.
You know who would be a great poker player? Superman.
Great, Jimmy.
We'll just invite him next week.
I don't even know if Superman gambles.
But in his case, it isn't gambling.
Jimmy! Please! Shut up.
The man's trying to think.
He's got x-ray vision.
He can look at everyone else's cards.
- Superman wouldn't do that.
- Why? Because it wouldn't be fair play.
Fair play is what Superman is all about.
- It'd be awfully tempting, though.
- Sure would.
I mean, especially with this kind of money on the table.
I mean, if it were me, I would have to muster up a lot of super willpower not to sneak a peek.
Give us a break here.
Fold.
That's okay, son.
Don't let it bother you.
Poker.
It's just like anything else.
- Takes a little practice.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Seven-card stud.
High-low.
First and last cards down.
One-eyed jacks and deuces wild.
- Partners? - You and Kent.
The experience of the battle-scarred veteran paired with the hunger of the exciting, fresh talent.
I am not that scarred.
And he is not that exciting.
Your tenacity, his tact.
Believe me, Lois, the two of you, there's chemistry there.
It's gonna make for great stories.
But, Perry, partnership, it's like marriage.
That's right.
You've got to work at it.
It takes patience, understanding, and a willingness to be supportive.
I know, honey.
Fake it.
Now go find your partner.
Howdy, partner.
What sounds better? Kent and Lane, or Lane and Kent? Kent and Lane.
Lane and Kent.
- Neither.
- Lane and Kent, definitely.
Why? Tradition.
Abbott and Costello.
Martin and Lewis.
The straight man always goes first.
- Either way, it'll never work.
- Come on.
It won't be that bad.
It'll be that bad.
It'll be worse.
Let's go.
He wants to see us.
- Boxing? - It's not just boxing.
The ultimate street fight.
It's the fight card of the century.
Right here in Metropolis.
- It's still boxing.
- It's a civic event.
- It's sports.
- Lois, just do the story.
This wouldn't have anything to do with my connections, would it? Connections? You got connections in the fight game? - You know I do.
- What connections? That's right.
How is your father? - Come on, Clark.
- What? Your father's a fighter? The Menken Gym.
Do you realize how many champions have come out of here? Give me a minute to pat down my goose bumps.
You wouldn't say that if you followed boxing.
Billy Mason.
Maybe the greatest middleweight of all time.
Welterweight.
I'll never forget it.
Mason/Rodriguez, June '78.
'79, October.
Mason takes Rodriguez down in the eighth round - Fourth.
TKO.
- Would you cut it out? Clark, you're thinking of the Mason/Ramirez fight a year earlier before Mason moved up in weight class.
Wait a minute.
How did you know that? - Lucky guess.
- No.
How? During the Mason/Rodriguez fight, Mason tore a rotator cuff which was later operated on by Dr.
Sam Lane.
Sam Lane? Wait a minute.
Is he your My father.
So you've heard of him? Anybody who's ever read the sports pages has heard of him.
He practically invented reconstructive surgery for athletes.
Builds them a new hip, new knee, whatever and they come back better than they were before.
- So, he's your connection.
- In Perry's dreams.
There's Tommy Garrison.
Let's see if we can get a statement.
Tommy! Can we talk to you a minute? Holy Who are you? Lois Lane.
Clark Kent.
Daily Planet.
Somebody wanna throw these two out of here? Quiet down there, okay? - Allie.
- Hiya, pumpkin, how are you? - "Pumpkin"? - What happened? Perry White finally put you on the sports pages, where you belong? She's forgotten more about sports than I ever knew.
I'm beginning to see that.
How is Perry? Still cheating at poker? He's fine.
Allie, this is Clark Kent, my The guy that I'm working on the story with.
Her partner.
How are you? So what brings you here? You have four fighters going for titles this Saturday night.
That's the biggest thing in boxing history, and we can't get to any of the fighters.
Max Menken will talk to you for as long as you want.
Menken's the promoter.
We'd like to speak to the fighters I'm sorry, Kent, I can't do You wanna talk to me? Okay.
But you can't learn anything from down there.
Come on up.
See what it feels like.
Go on, Clark.
- Go on.
Get in there.
- Maybe this isn't a good idea.
This is what we came here for.
If you're not gonna go up there, I will.
Okay.
Fine.
You look pretty solid.
- You ever been in a fight? - I try to avoid them.
How can you write about boxing when you don't know what it's like? You ever see punches like this? Come on, give it back to me.
Your best shot.
Come on.
No? You try to avoid me, okay? That one almost connected.
You know something, princess, you better keep your guard up or somebody's gonna knock you through the ropes.
- Then what're you gonna do? - You might be surprised.
- Why don't you get down from there? - You just sent me up here.
Allie, he's just playing with him, right? See, I got you right where I want you, and I haven't even thrown a punch.
What now, princess? - Clark, no! - Garrison! Hit the showers.
That's right.
Everybody.
Let's go.
I'll see you later.
Princess.
- You okay, kid? - I'm fine.
Forget it, Clark.
That guy's a jerk.
I guess you can get away with a lot when you're the strongest man in the world.
One of the strongest.
Saturday night you can see them all.
The ultimate street fight.
The most spectacular night of boxing there ever was.
And the winner's gonna fight Superman.
The eyes of the world right here on Metropolis.
Write about that.
Now, excuse us.
The gym is off limits to the press.
You should have known better.
Everybody's a little nervous.
There's a lot riding on this.
I can see that.
Take care, Allie.
- Good luck on Saturday.
- Yeah.
- Nice meeting you, Clark.
- Nice to meet you.
Let's go, pumpkin.
Lois.
- Hi, Dad.
- What brings you here? The ultimate street fight.
Right, what else? We're trying to get to the fighters, you know.
Clark Kent, sir.
Her partner.
On this story.
Sorry.
Sam Lane, Clark Kent.
Nice to meet you, Kent.
I wish I could help you with the press, but it's not my department.
Sure.
We know.
And of course the fighters are a little jumpy.
Yes.
Want to keep them away from us wicked reporters.
Well, are you going to have some time, Lois, for dinner, or Maybe.
Soon.
I'm really busy, and Sure.
- When you get out from under - Sure.
Call, yeah.
I see.
No, I didn't realize they were that close.
It's a problem, which is why I suggested a press blackout in the first place.
Max, calm down.
Well, let me paint you a little portrait.
Imagine a man whose net worth is in excess of $20 billion dollars and that the same man is currently the third richest man on the planet superseded only by Mr.
Albert Chow of Hong Kong and Elena Pappas of Athens, Greece.
And when I say currently, I really mean temporarily.
And that the same man has an additional annual income of over $2 billion which is approximately $200 million a month, $7 million a day $300,000 an hour, $5,000 a minute.
How long have we been talking, Max? That man is me.
I hope you see my point.
You don't see my point.
Why am I not surprised? Well, then, let me explain it to you, Max.
If a man like you has a problem, I expect you to solve it with your own usual flair.
For a man like me, on the other hand, life is a bowl of rubies.
An extremely large bowl.
I have no problems.
No problems at all.
Here you go.
What are you still doing here? Working.
- On what? - Just You're waiting for me to talk about it.
To open up.
See, this is exactly why I hate partnerships.
Why? Because, your partner is always there for you whether you want them there or not.
Because your partner is there to share your troubles.
I don't feel like sharing.
Okay.
So I don't get along with my father.
Big deal.
No big deal.
I mean, haven't you ever met anyone who is so wrapped up in their work they don't have time for anyone or anything? Is this a trick question? Okay, but at least I don't have kids.
A lot of parents are workaholics.
The ones I knew at least tried to spend some time with their family.
My dad just came home to criticize.
"Daddy, I got 98 on this test.
" "That's good, Lois.
That leaves two points for improvement.
" Lois Lane.
Allie? Calm down, what's wrong? Okay, just tell me where and when.
- Okay.
Allie Dinello.
- What did he say? He needs to talk to me.
Something about fight night.
He didn't want to say any more on the phone.
- Let's go.
- Clark, I think that I should go alone.
- Okay.
- It's just that I think that It will be more comfortable talking to somebody he knows.
I get it.
Go.
Sometimes you surprise me.
It's done.
- Are you sure? - Positive.
It's always such an embarrassment having to do away with someone.
It's like announcing to the world you lack the savvy and the finesse to deal with the problem more creatively.
I mean, there have been times, naturally, when I've had to have people eliminated but it's always saddened me.
I've always felt like I've let myself down somehow.
I've known Allie almost my whole life.
To see him like that was just Police are calling it a hit-and-run.
Probably a drunk driver.
But we're not buying that, right? I was there.
It was no ordinary hit-and-run.
The car was coming straight at him.
It bore down on him.
- It was dark.
- It wasn't that dark.
Anyway, you didn't talk to him on the phone.
You didn't hear how upset he was.
He said he was in trouble.
I think whatever he was going to tell me cost him his life.
Well, now, do you have any idea what he wanted to say? - No.
- You think your father can help? I don't know.
Well, are you gonna ask him? Sorry, Dad.
He was a real character.
- Tough.
- That he was.
Always had a soft spot for you, though.
- He used to call you "pumpkin.
" - Still did.
Hit-and-run.
Never dreamed he'd go out like that.
He didn't.
I think he was murdered.
What? I was there.
I saw the car coming at him straight and fast.
It wasn't a drunk.
It wasn't an accident.
- What were you doing there? - Allie asked me to meet him.
- Did the driver see you? - No.
Lois, I want you to stay away from this.
- This? What's this? What am I onto? - Nothing.
There are a lot of rough characters in this business.
Did Allie want to tell me that the fights are fixed? No, they are not fixed.
- Now just stay away.
- I can't stay away.
I'm a reporter.
This is my story.
- Can you help me? - No.
You're lying.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- I know the look.
Lois, let's not do this.
Not now, and certainly not here.
- I can't help you.
- Can't, or won't? Lois, no! You'd like to forget everything.
The perfect father, daughter relationship.
- I never claimed to be a perfect father.
- You were hardly a father.
Please don't.
Look Never mind.
Can you tell me anything about the murder or not? I know nothing about the death of Allie Dinello.
Whatever you say, Dad.
Are you sure you want to break into your dad's office? He's hiding something.
I've seen Jimmy do this before.
It always works.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
- Nothing.
You did it.
- That was pretty good for a first time.
All these training logs and medical reports.
Look at this.
Tommy Garrison's file.
He had an okay boxing record until his surgery.
After that, perfect.
Same with this one.
These guys didn't just have winning records.
They made mince meat out of their opponents.
What do you think? Some kind of steroid? Keep looking.
Clark? How did you My uncle Lee has the same setup in his den.
Well, it's definitely not steroids.
Mechanical parts.
And little motors to drive them.
No wonder these guys are invincible.
Oh, my God, Clark.
I'm Dr.
Frankenstein's daughter.
- What? - I heard something.
- I didn't hear anything.
- I'm gonna go take a look.
Wait here.
You're not If we both get caught, there'll be no one to get the story out.
Let me at him, boss.
I could take him.
I could take Superman.
You ain't ready yet, kid.
Earthquake! Let's get out of here before the roof comes down! Did you feel that? It must have been at least a 5.
Yeah.
This is incredible.
The boxing commission won't allow these fighters in the ring if they know they're half robots.
If it weren't for the earthquake, we'd be the lead story.
- What earthquake? - Last night.
The earthquake.
- There was no earthquake last night.
- There was an earthquake.
Not in Metropolis, Lois.
If the earth moved for you last night, it must've been something else.
- What are you writing? - The story.
Saying what? Dr.
Sam Lane is performing these surgeries secretly.
- Are you sure? - Sure I'm sure.
Well, I'm not so sure we were at your father's office last night.
What? Maybe I was home asleep, and you were watching a late movie on TV.
What is with you? We were together.
We took those pictures.
What pictures? Clark, this is the biggest scandal in boxing history.
No doubt about it.
Look, we print this whoever killed Allie is going to want your father out of the way, too.
An ordinary hit-and-run? The police think so, too.
All right, now.
Just a minute.
Yesterday you told me it was murder.
I was wrong.
What about Dinello's phone call? You find out why he was so upset? Well, there are lots of reasons why people get upset.
- What about your father? - He says he doesn't know anything.
What the sam hill is going on here? Sometimes a piece runs dry, chief.
You know that.
Well, that's just great, Kent.
We'll put that up on billboards all over the city.
"Lane and Kent come up with squat! "On sale at your newsstands now.
" You agree with her take on this? I go with my partner, chief.
There.
Just relax your arm.
Good.
All right.
We should take it easy for a few days.
Light workouts, and no sparring.
- Thank you.
- Good.
This isn't easy for me, so I'll just get right to it.
I know about the surgeries you performed.
I have nothing to say.
I want to know.
Not as a reporter, as your daughter.
Sorry.
I will not let you shut me out.
Not after I killed the story.
- You did what? - You could've been hurt.
Murdered.
- You should've written it.
- And have you end up like Allie? That's my problem, not yours.
Of course it's my problem.
You're my father.
I care about you.
- This has nothing to do with caring, Lois.
- You would say that.
You think I don't know anything about caring? I know that you resent me.
And you should, for those times I let you down.
But it doesn't mean I didn't care.
It was because of my work.
Work.
That's building machinery to beat men's brains in? Not at first, Lois.
At first I set out to design and build replacement parts for victims of catastrophic injury.
That's a good dream, Lois.
That's noble.
It's worth sacrificing for.
Sacrificing your family? You always think you'll make it up to them.
And then time gets away from you, and you never do.
Did Menken kill Allie? I've been afraid to ask myself that question.
Write your story, Lois.
You're a professional.
It's your job.
Do what you feel is right.
I will, too.
The auto show? Yeah, see, there's been a rash of thefts down there.
Hub caps, rearview mirrors.
That sort of thing.
Perry, there has to be a more important story you can assign me.
Ordinarily, yes.
But you see, Lois, the first time a reporter blows a really big story it can rattle them.
Fill them with self-doubt.
Well, I've seen it happen.
Just take the auto show piece.
It's a good little confidence builder.
Well, I've seen it before, but I've never been in it.
- What's that? - Perry's doghouse.
- Police Academy graduation.
- Nice.
Well, guess we're not partners anymore.
- Guess not.
- I'm sorry, Clark.
- Really.
- It's just as well.
Yeah, you're right, it is just as well.
You don't want to be partnered with a hypocritical reporter who talks a good game but backs off the minute things hit too close to home.
Yes, I do.
Nothing in the Planet.
I told you we got to Dinello before he talked.
- Excellent.
- Yeah.
Smooth sailing now.
Our boys becoming the new world champions.
Everything we dreamed about finally coming true.
- It's a start.
- A start? With all due respect, Mr.
Luthor once you've got a champ in each division, there's not much more you can do.
Is that what you think this is all about? Winning a few prize fights? Is that why I've invested millions in this project? I get it.
After this we branch out into other sports? Football.
Baseball.
Tennis.
We've created five men of inordinate human strength.
Now, suppose we can take these men and make them even more powerful? Fifty times more powerful.
A hundred times more powerful.
Even, dare I say it invulnerable.
Just like Superman.
You see the possibilities? An army of super men under my control.
Stronger? Max, there's no need.
The fighters are winning every fight.
- We want them stronger.
- They're too strong as it is.
- We'll be the judge of that.
- No! I will! I did not develop these limbs to be battering rams.
And the cash didn't hurt, neither.
Every cent went back into the work.
Yeah, well, now we're going into mass production.
We're gonna turn them out like Detroit does cars.
Cars are machines, Max.
Welcome to the party.
- I want out of this.
- Sure, Doc.
At the end of your contract.
- We don't have a contract.
- Yeah, we do.
Lifetime.
- Dinello have the same contract? - It's a dangerous business.
- You killed him.
- Who did you think? I'd hate to have to waste you, too.
Did you get it? It may not be enough to arrest him.
It'll be plenty for the boxing commission.
- You killed him.
- Who did you think? I'd hate to have to waste you, too.
- I don't know what to say.
- Don't say anything.
Write your story.
The whole story.
Including the one you didn't write before.
Daddy! Please be careful.
- I need your piece on the auto show, Lois.
- I don't have it.
- You don't have it? - I've been working on this instead.
Assignments are not optional at the Daily Planet.
We write what we are assigned to write.
Furthermore What is this? Oh, boy.
That'll be the day Lois Lane will back down off of a story.
You've been funning with me, haven't you? Pulling your old editor's leg.
But, you see, I knew about it all along.
You all got to be ashamed of yourselves for what you been thinking.
Kent.
I want to thank you for a first-rate job.
You're welcome, sir.
The Police Academy story.
Showoff.
Chief, the fights are tonight.
If we hurry, we can get that in the afternoon edition.
Copy! Take this downstairs right away! Tell them they can take as much room as they want.
- Yes, sir.
- Wingate! - Yes, sir.
- Get sales on the phone.
Tell them I want TV spots, radio spots, sky writing, the whole nine yards.
- You got it.
- Let Metropolis know that Lane and Kent are the greatest writing team since well, Woodward and Bernstein.
And they can read about it in the Daily Planet! Yeah! Now what do we do? I know you're upset, Max.
You're not thinking clearly.
But do you really think that I wouldn't have a plan? Sorry.
What is the plan? To not have this unpleasantness find its way to my doorstep.
What about my doorstep? It's already passed your doorstep.
It's in your house.
But, don't worry.
You'll do one last favor for me, you and your fighters and then you'll all be relocated and very well-compensated.
- What favor is that? - Dr.
Lane.
Without him there's no witness.
No case.
He's kind of disappeared, Mr.
Luthor.
Well, wouldn't you, Max? In light of this story? But, his daughter is still accessible.
We use her to get to him.
I want Superman! Gonna kill him.
I'm gonna kill him.
Ladies and gentlemen in accordance with the ruling of the commissioner's office tonight's title card is cancelled.
And I have the further unpleasant task of announcing that five challengers scheduled to appear this evening have been placed on indefinite suspension pending investigation of misconduct charges.
No! He can't do this! Nobody alive can hurt us.
We're the greatest of all time.
And no two-bit boxing commission or a bunch of loudmouthed, know-nothing fans can change that.
Bring me Superman.
I'll show you.
Miss Lane.
I was hoping to find you.
I was hoping these rumors about your father were unfounded.
I'm afraid not.
Lois, your father is a visionary.
And I have nothing but contempt for those who have led him down this path.
That's why I've come here today to find you and to make this pledge.
I will do everything in my power to see that your father redirects his energies to the injured and handicapped.
I don't know what to say.
- Well, ain't this touching! - Menken? I think someone's looking for you, Max.
Maybe the D.
A.
All right.
Let's nobody get heroic here! Back off! She's taking a ride with me.
- Haven't you caused enough trouble? - I'm just warming up.
- I'll go for help.
- I'll go for help.
What're you gonna do when he comes for me? - Who? - Superman.
You and him real close, are you? Let's just say he's always there for me when I need him.
Well, I'd say you need him now.
Where is he? It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr.
Menken.
Superman! Behind you! My guys are doing all right! Steel versus steel.
That's how I'd promote it.
- Too bad we can't stick around.
- No! Superman! Help! - Unhand her.
- Superman.
- Drop the gun.
- You lousy Are you okay? You saved my life.
I couldn't let any harm come to you.
I know you can't be everywhere at once but I'm glad one of us got here on time.
I'm waiting for you.
I wanna see what makes you so super.
Where do you suppose he is? You don't think he's scared, do you? Why would he be scared of me? Superman? Are you looking for me? Yeah.
What's your pleasure? A prizefight.
Marquis of Queensbury rules.
Of course.
Are you hurt, Superman? No.
He just caught me off guard.
That's all.
Keep your left up.
Something wrong? I knew he had his hang-ups.
You're wondering why I didn't eliminate Max earlier.
That's a good question.
I knew the robotics project was lost.
I knew I had to lose Max.
You see, but by waiting by using Max one last time, I was able to gain something from my losses.
The gratitude of Lois Lane, who now owes me her life and the look on Superman's face.
That was a delightful bonus.
Now, it was a stunning example of a trait that I particularly admire in myself.
The ability to profit even from setbacks.
The evening started poorly, but I have to say I took a lemon and made champagne.
This is a terrific follow-up.
By the way, Kent, where were you when all this went down? I went for help.
"No criminal charges against Dr.
Lane.
" That's great.
This is nice.
"Lex Luthor offered to testify as a character witness "before the medical ethics board.
" Well, good for Lex.
You know, he carries a lot of weight in this community.
Looks like my instinct was right.
You're a great team.
Circulation ought to hit the roof with this piece.
So, I guess that means we're partners full-time now? No.
Let's don't overdo a good thing.
Only when the time is right, and only on special stories.
What did he mean, "Where was l"? You were looking for help.
- Come on.
Let's get something to eat.
- I'm not hungry.
If it makes you feel any better, even Superman got there too late.
Are you coming? Or are you gonna stay there and sulk? Kent, don't forget.
Poker game tonight.
- 9:00.
- Not tonight, sir.
I've got other plans.
Not bad for a mild-mannered reporter.
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