Marvin, Marvin (2012) s01e06 Episode Script

Hey, look at that.
Horse boy still runs free.
This school could not get any weirder.
Greetings, good Teri.
I was wrong.
What are you guys doing? We are going larp'ing.
Larp'ing? Yes, Milady.
L-a-r-p.
Live action role-playing.
Larp'ing for short.
And larp'ing is l-a-m-e.
Literally awesome mega excellent.
Or lame for short.
Oh, you mean the game where you guys dress up and hit each other with foam swords behind the bleachers.
Doesn't it sound lame? You read my mind.
Ooh, that's one of my spells.
It's working.
Well, perhaps you fair maidens would like to join us on a quest.
Me thinks never.
Maybe you could ask horse boy.
He could be your trusty steed.
Everyone knows humans and horses are at war.
I mean, what do they think the battle of middle swamp was all about? Dorks.
Whoa.
Who are those guys? Oh, that's snake and his crew.
They're the cool kids.
You can tell them by their skateboards, their awesome nicknames, and by how cool they are.
That's the real giveaway.
They get high fives from total strangers.
Up high's, down low's, but I bet they never get too slow's.
That's what happens when you're cool.
Hmm.
In Klooton's ghost! Look at that female humanoid with them.
Oh, yeah.
I want to be a cool kid.
How do I look? Is my wizard hat on straight? Yeah, but I don't think that's a good thing.
Hey, cool kids.
Mind if I become one of you guys? Is that cool? Uh, okay.
They did not accept me.
How do I become cool? Only the cool kids know the answer to that.
And they ain't talking.
Whoa! Hey, you kids can't skateboard in the hallway.
It's against the rules.
Now scoot and skedattle.
You don't think the rules apply to you? Uh, yeah, that's exactly what we think.
Wow, the cool kids don't even have rules? Do you think they even have bedtimes? Marvin, they're so cool they tell their parents when to go to bed.
Wow.
This is my home planet, Klooton.
These are the Klerg.
They hate Klooton.
To protect me, my parents sent me away while they stayed to fight the Klerg.
Eat it, Klerg! I landed on earth and took the form of a human.
At first, I was scared.
Fortunately, I met a very nice family.
Hello, I'm Marvin! That's how we greet people on Klooton.
It's very polite.
They agreed to raise me like their own son until the Klerg were defeated.
Now I'm living a secret life as a normal American kid.
And you can barely tell I'm different.
- Hey.
- Hey, guys.
- Mom Liz? - Yeah? All the cool kids have reptile names.
So from now, you can refer to me as the Gecko.
Well, in that case, instead of mom Liz, you can call me mom Lizard.
Mom Lizard is cool, but mine's better.
Gecko out.
Wow, this is so amazing.
- Listen to this poem.
- Okay.
"Running unbridled through the summer wind, the horizon like my dreams; Always beyond reach.
" Oh, not bad.
Who wrote it? That's the problem.
I don't know.
She found this boy's journal at school, and it has no name on it.
Yeah.
I mean, whoever it is, he bares his soul on every page.
I mean, there's poetry, private thoughts, and some really on the mark movie reviews.
You should find this guy, Teri.
Track him down.
Put up posters.
Good idea.
You know, just once, I wouldn't mind meeting a deep and intelligent guy instead of the usual meatheads.
I'll put up posters by the football field.
Oh, I don't think this guy's a football player.
I'm not trying to meet his guy.
I'm trying to meet some football players.
Hey, reinforcements.
Grab a rake.
Get to work.
Sorry, dad.
It's hot tub time.
That's not a hot tub.
It will be.
Marvin.
I'm on it.
Ah.
That really hits the spot.
Dad Bob, Henry, Pop-Pop, how do I get the cool kids to like me? For starters, stop smacking your friends around with toy swords behind the football bleachers.
Do you know how I got the cool kids to like me? Break dancing.
Check it.
Watch me work.
What? What, what, what? Old school.
Who's cool? Marvin, I'm gonna tell you something important.
I want you to listen very closely.
Okay, first let me get in a better hearing position.
Okay, first thing, get that thing out of my face.
Sorry, it's where my hearing organs are.
Second, if you want to be friends with the cool kids, then do what the cool kids do.
It's what people do when they want to be friends with me.
Do what the cool kids do.
Hello, cool kids.
I'm just like you.
Do you think this guy has enough pads on? You're so right.
I'm gonna go get some more.
You cannot skateboard in the hallway.
- Didn't you hear my whistle? - Not well.
I bubble wrapped my butt for protection.
Perhaps we could try it again.
First, let me get in a better listening position.
He's sticking his butt in her face.
That's hilarious.
Stop that immediately.
That's inappropriate.
Miss Hinkle, Marvin is just confused.
He's from New Jersey.
Wow, you're like the Justin Bieber of whistling.
Well, I mean, the old lady version.
Oh, he's clowning on her whistle.
It's so boss.
You troublemakers get to class.
And as for you, smart mouth I'm confiscating your skateboard.
She took my board.
Now I'll never be cool.
Marvin, guys like us aren't cool.
We're lame.
Literally awesome mega excellent? No.
The other one.
I put up all the posters, and I have some good news.
- You found him? - No.
But I found some football players.
Oh, look.
That's got to be him.
Don't let him get away.
Okay.
"Running unbridled through the summer wind, the horizon like my dreams; Always beyond reach.
" Yeah.
So? This isn't your journal, is it? No, but you're cute.
You want to make out? High school boys are the worst.
Forget about him.
Hello? Yes, this is Teri.
No, I don't want to make out with you.
Sorry that didn't work out with the cool kids.
But you will be triumphant on the fields of middle swamp when we go larp'ing this afternoon.
Thanks, Elf King.
Yo, what's up, bro? Everyone's talking about your epic whistle clowning.
Really? Yeah, my name's Snake.
My name's the Gecko.
I told you this guy is hilarious.
That's cool.
Did you just say "that's cool" or "that school?" I'm hoping you said, "that's cool" but I'd also accept "that school.
" You're so funny.
- You should come kick it with us.
- Kick it? Hi-ya! Dude, Gecko, you are so ninja, man.
Let's go.
Okay, cool.
Marvin.
We're supposed to go larp'ing.
But, Ben, don't you realize what this means? I have achieved coolness.
But I can't go questing alone.
Hey, Gecko, you coming or not? Sorry, Ben.
I have to go with them.
I'm a cool kid now.
One day you'll see.
You'll be cool, and you'll leave you too.
Guys, guys, the Gecko is coming! Gecko! Calm down.
Everybody will get their turn.
Hi, Gecko.
You want to sit next to me at lunch? Oh, Gecko sits next to me.
I don't see your name on him.
Back off, girl.
- What? - What, what? Ladies, ladies, be cool.
There is plenty of the Gecko to go around.
Hey, Marvin, you know you're supposed to be home for dinner by 5:30.
Whatever.
I don't do rules, bro.
Get your feet off the table now.
And I am not your bro.
Isn't it past your bedtime? Marvin! I'm sorry, mom Liz.
I can't help it.
I'm a cool kid now.
My boy is hanging with the cool kids.
Coming back at you, bro.
Just a little break dancing.
Check it.
Beatbox.
Hey.
No beatbox.
I just spent all day talking to girls, looking awesome, and skateboarding.
I'm so glad I'm done with larp'ing.
Looks like my advice worked.
Mine too, bro.
Come on, son.
He still hasn't called yet, huh? Nope.
And I'm starting to think he won't.
So much for meeting an interesting, intelligent guy.
Oh, don't worry, sweetie.
When I was young, I went through a string of duds.
And I thought that I'd never meet the right guy.
And then I met your dad.
Here comes the Bob-copter.
Oh, he did that on our first date.
Oh, what number is this? Oh, it must be him! - Okay.
- Hello.
Yes, I have your journal.
Thursday? Sure.
Okay.
It's happening.
I'm about to meet my soul mate.
Oh, I just hope he's as special as mine.
I still got it.
So that's why they call it break dancing.
What's up, my peeps? The Gecko in the house.
Yo, we found a new skatepark.
Nicki's there already, and she said she really wanted to see you.
Dude! Dude, grab your deck, and let's roll.
I don't have my skateboard.
- Miss Hinkle confiscated it.
- That's messed up.
You should just sneak into her office and take it back.
And then while you're there, you should take that stupid whistle too.
But then what would she play her beautiful songs on? Enough jokes, dude.
She took your board.
You need to take her whistle.
You can do it.
You're the Gecko.
I am the Gecko.
Hear me roar! Nice.
We'll be right here if you need us.
We got your back, man.
Bros for life.
Bros for life? That's awesome.
Wait, whose life, because a fly lives for two weeks, but a tortoise lives for 150 years.
Classic Gecko, man.
No, classic the Gecko.
Ah! Hello, miss Hinkle? Are you in there? It's Marvin Marvin, here to break in.
Oh, hi, hamster.
Sorry, Mozart.
I'm Marvin.
I don't have time for knock knock jokes.
Fine.
Gerbil who? Okay, okay, that was hilarious.
But enough jokes, dude.
I'm here on business.
Where does she keep the whistle? Oh.
I know this isn't mine, but the cool kids said I should do it, and I'm one of them now.
I don't care if I get expelled.
Don't be such a goodie-four-paws.
Wait, wait, expelled? But I love school.
I can't get kicked out! Well, what do you mean it's too late? She has a security camera? Oh! It was him! He did it! I'm innocent! Sorry, Mozart, but you're already locked up.
What's the difference? Snake, I didn't get the skateboard or the whistle, but I did get caught on miss Hinkle's security camera.
A security camera? Yo, let's get out of here.
We don't know this kid.
Wait, I thought we were bros for life.
Unless you were talking about the life of a gnat, because that's, like, ten minutes.
Is that what you were talking about? Wait a minute.
All this time I thought you were being funny, but you're just a weirdo.
You're on your own, bro.
So I'm no longer a cool kid? No, man.
Wait! Come back! Dude! Ben! Ben, I need your help.
I got caught on camera breaking into miss Hinkle's office and smashing her trophy case.
If she sees it, I'll get expelled.
Sounds like something you should ask your cool friends to go help you with.
I did.
They just ditched me.
You mean like you did to me? Yes, it was exactly the same thing.
It didn't feel too good, did it? No, I didn't like it at all.
Well, then you'll hate this.
Come on, horse boy.
Let's ride! Ya! Ya! Marvin, what are you doing in my chair? I'm just being alone by myself because I'm sad.
What's wrong, E.
T.
? It's awful.
I made miss Hinkle play music into my butt, argued with a hamster, a horse is a wizard, and I might get expelled.
I have known you long enough I'm actually following that.
Go on.
And the worst part is, I think I lost my best friend all because I was trying to be one of the cool kids.
Well, don't just mope about it.
Fix it.
Apologize to everybody.
Miss Hinkle, your friend, the horse, the wizard with the hamster butt, and then take whatever punishment's coming to you.
Thanks, Pop-Pop.
I will apologize.
Good.
You're being very nice to me.
Is it because you're starting to care for me as a human grandson? Anything's possible, kid.
Now get out of my chair! I'm so jealous.
You're about to meet your soul mate.
Your dream boy.
Hi, Teri.
You have my journal? Did I say dream boy? I meant horse boy.
This is your journal? It is.
Will you excuse us for a second? I can't believe my soul mate thinks he's a horse.
It is kind of weird, but on the bright side, maybe he'll win the Kentucky derby.
You know, for the past two days, I've been obsessed with this journal and the sensitive person who wrote it.
Why should I let the fact that he thinks he's a horse change that? I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna ask out horse boy.
So horse Derek.
I was wondering, would you maybe want to go out some time? The stallion is a roan.
The stallion rides alone.
That's so romantic.
What does it mean? It means you're not my type.
Are you really saying no? I'm saying Miss Hinkle, I came here to apologize.
I'm the one - Marvin, I already told her what I did.
- What? - What you did? - What are you talking about? I caught him destroying the tape from my security camera because he's clearly the one who broke in and smashed my trophy case.
And now he's about to be expelled.
Expelled? No, you can't do that.
I'm the one who did it.
Ben had nothing to do with it.
No, I did it.
Marvin is just saying he did it because that's what friends do, Marvin.
They take the fall for each other and get each other's backs, Marvin.
Wait, I'm confused,Ben.
Oh, that's what you're trying to do for me.
Marvin.
What's going on here? I'll tell you what's going on here.
Ben is being a great friend and trying to keep me from getting expelled even though I was a horrible friend who ditched him for the cool kids.
Oh, you were trying to be one of the cool kids? When will us nerds ever learn? What? Yes, I was a nerd once too.
That's not possible, miss Hinkle.
You have a whistle, you have a hamster, and you teach band.
It's hard to believe, I know.
But I was once a level 28 barbarian warrior named Valaria.
This ax of destruction cleft many a troll in twain.
That's awesome.
Don't touch.
But the one thing I never had was a friend who would stick his neck out for me like you two are doing for each other.
And that's why I'm not reporting you to the principal.
So we're not expelled? No, but you're changing Mozart's newspaper every day for the rest of the school year, and you can start now.
I have to supervise band practice.
I might need this.
That tuba section is out of control.
Wah! Ben, I thought that snake and his friends were cool, but it turns out you're the coolest friend anyone could ever have.
Can we be bros for life? I don't know.
Sounds pretty Lame.
Literally awesome mega excellent! And so Benekis, the wise Elf King and Marvelor the mighty wizard set out on their latest quest to conquer all of middle swamp.
It shall be a quick and decisive battle for two such experienced No fair! Marvin, cast the spell of do over.
Bow before my ax of destruction.
Many thanks, Valaria.
Anything for my fellow nerds.
I'll cut your ear off.