Master i Margarita (2005) s01e06 Episode Script

Part 6

Mikhail Afanasievich Bulgakov The Master and Margarita PART SIX SADOWAYA 302-bis HOUSECOM Administration Good day! May I see the chairman? Bosoy? Bosoys? Bosoyes? Chairman isn't here Is he at home? I've come on the most urgent business.
And when will he be here? What about the secretary? Prolezhnov? the secretary isn't here either nobody knows when he'll be back! The secretary is sick! But surely there's somebody in the management? Me! You see I am the sole heir of the late Berlioz my nephew who, as you know, died at the Patriarch's Ponds and I am obliged, in accordance with the law to take over the inheritance contained in our apartment no.
50 I'm not informed, comrade But, excuse me, you are a member of the management and are obliged Management member Pyatnazhko? Yes Eh, what a complication! As if on purpose, all of them at once Good day! My name is Poplavsky I am the uncle of the late Berlioz Of course, of course! Just one look and I knew it was you! Such a calamity, eh? What's going on here, eh? Run over by a tram-car? Clean! Clean! I was a witness! Oh yes! Believe me bang! and the head's gone! Crunch - there goes the right leg! Crunch - there goes the left leg! That's what these trams have brought us to! Forgive me were you a friend of my late Misha? No, I can't take any more! I'll go and swallow three hundred drops of tincture of valerian No, it's too much I just can't! I can't when I remember: the wheel! over the leg Crunch! The wheel alone weighs three hundred pounds I'll go to bed Forget myself in sleep Pardon me but did you send me the telegram? He did! Well, so I sent the telegram.
! What of it? I believe I asked in good Russian? What of it? Passport! What office issued this document? The 412th Ah, yes, of course! I know that office, they issue passports to anybody.
Whereas I, for instance, wouldn't issue one to the likes of you Not on your life I wouldn't! I'd just take one look at your face and instantly refuse! Your presence at the funeral is cancelled.
Kindly return to your place of residence.
Azazello! I'm coming Good day! Poplavsky! I hope everything's understood now? Return immediately to Kiev Sit there stiller than water, lower than grass and of any apartments in Moscow don't even dream! Clear? Poplavsky Are you alive? Pardon me May I ask you, citizen where apartment no.
50 is? Further up I humbly thank you, citizen Yes? Well come up! as you called.
Hello? yes! How's that? Baron Meigel? I'm listening Bleh! yuck! Mister artiste is at home today Yes, he'll be glad to see you.
Yes, guests A tailcoat or a black suit.
What? By twelve midnight! What would you like? I must really see the citizen artiste What? You mean him himself? Himself Go into the living room Oh Lord! Well, sir what can I do for you? I, am the manager of the buffet at the Variety Theatre No! No Not a word more! Never and by no means Nothing from your buffet will ever pass my lips! I walked past your stand yesterday, and even now I am unable to forget either the sturgeon or the feta cheese! My precious man! Feta cheese is never green in color, someone has tricked you It ought to be white! Yes, and the tea? It's simply swill! I saw with my own eyes some slovenly girl add tap water from a bucket to your huge samovar, while the tea went on being served No, my dear, it's impossible! I beg your pardon but I've come about something else, and sturgeon has nothing to do with it How do you mean, nothing to do with it, when it's spoiled? They supplied sturgeon of the second freshness.
My dear heart, that is nonsense! There is only one freshness - the first - and it is also the last! And if sturgeon is of the second freshness, that means it is simply rotten.
I have come about something else! About something else? Not in this one! And what else could have brought you to me? However, I'm glad Azazello! A tabouret for mister buffet-manager! Here I humbly thank you! Don't mention Oh! Are you hurt? I like sitting low down it's less dangerous falling from a low height.
Take off your trousers and dry them before the fire! No no Thank you! Ah, yes, so we left off at the sturgeon My dear heart Freshness, freshness, freshness! That should be the motto of every barman.
Here, wouldn't you like to try My humble I No, no, try it! Humbly Try it try it A cup of wine? White, red? What country's wine do you prefer at this time of day? My humble I don't drink A shame! What about a game of dice, then? Or do you have some other favorite game? Dominoes? Cards? I don't play games! Altogether bad why not? As you will, but there's something not nice hidden in men who avoid wine, games, the society of charming women, table talk.
Such people are either gravely ill or secretly hate everybody around them.
And so, let me hear your business? Yesterday you were so good as to do some conjuring tricks I? I'm sorry! It's somehow even unbecoming to me! I'm sorry, I mean the séance of black magic Ah, yes, yes, yes My dear, I'll reveal a secret to you I'm not an artiste at all How so? I simply wanted to see the Muscovites en masse, so to speak! And that could be don most conveniently in a theatre! And so my retinue Glad to meet! arranged for this séance.
I merely sat and looked at the Muscovites Now, don't go changing countenance but tell me, what is it in connection with this séance that has brought you to me.
If you please, you see, among other things there were banknotes flying down from the ceiling So they snatched them all up Snatched up, yes And then a young man comes to my bar and gives me a ten-ruble bill Yes, a young man Gives a tenner a tenner ha I give him eight-fifty in change eight-fifty Then another one Also a young man? No, an older one.
Then a third, and a fourth I keep giving them change And today I check the cash box and there, instead of money cut-up paper! They hit the buffet for a hundred and nine rubles.
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But can they have thought those were real bills? I can't admit the idea that they did it knowingly.
Can they be crooks? Can there be among the Muscovites a bunch of crooks? That is mean! You're a poor man Really? A poor man? How much have you got in savings? Two hundred and forty-nine thousand rubles in five savings banks and two hundred ten-ruble gold pieces at home under the floor! Well, of course, that's not a great sum but enough for a modest life though, as a matter of fact, you have no need of it anyway When are you going to die? Nobody knows that and it's nobody's concern! Sure nobody knows The binomial theorem, you might think He's going to die in nine months, next February of liver cancer in the clinic of the First Moscow State University in ward number four.
Two hundred and forty-nine thousand, in nine months rounding it off that comes to twenty-seven thousand a month Not a lot but enough for a modest life Plus those gold pieces.
He won't get to realize the gold pieces! On Andrei Fokich's demise the house will immediately be torn down, and the gold will be sent to the State Bank.
And I wouldn't advise you to go to the clinic What's the sense of dying in a ward to the groans and wheezes of the hopelessly ill? Isn't it better to give a banquet on the twenty-seven thousand , then take poison and move on to the other world to the sounds of strings surrounded by drunken beauties and dashing friends? However, we've started day-dreaming! Show me your cut-up paper Tenners! My dear you really are unwell! A- and and if they again that is Well, then come to us again.
You're always welcome I'm glad of our acquaintance What else do you want? I forgot my hat Not mine You came without a sword? The messenger from Variety Karpov testified that the culprit lives in apartment no.
50 I also point out the fact, that officially apartment 50 is inhabited by the missing director of Variety Likhodeev and the chairman of MASSOLIT Berlioz who was killed by the tram-car, under strange circumstances! His death is also connected with the outrageous situation in MASSOLIT today Apartment no.
50 was visited, and not just once However, none of these measures yielded any results and no one was discovered in the apartment during any of these visits! Today's theft testifies to .
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the presence of the gang in Moscow, and the escalation of their crimes! It looks like, if you please! that thousands of witnesses, spectators at Variety saw the magician and his damned assistants and nonetheless there is no possibility of finding him! Are you saying he went underground? or commutes to Moscow from somewhere else? The only chance agent Meigel! He made a phone appointment for a visit maybe? Send telegrams with descriptions of the criminals, and also the missing people Likhodeev, Rimsky Varenukha I will question all the occupants of the apartment building again bring in anyone who crosses the gate to the yard or the corridor! In addition, post the guards on the roof and at the back entrance! Agent Meigel former baron I will deal with him personally! Arkady Apollonovich is unwell he had retired for the night, and cannot come to the phone Who's asking? This second at once this minute! NKVD! Yes, it's me! I'm listening The slippers Put the slippers on you'll catch cold! Put the slippers on your feet will get cold! Yes, yes surely! I understand I'll leave at once! Well, then Prokhor Petrovich? who is this Woland? and how do you think he found his way to Variety? I swear, I know decidedly nothing about any Woland! Weren't the missing Likhodeev supposed to have brought to your attention the program of the performance? I swear that no program of the performance .
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of no Woland, no Likhodeev has ever sent for my approval! And he never called me about the arrival of Woland! I absolutely don't understand don't understand How Likhodeev could allow this séance at the Variety! Is this your decision? Yes! yes! mine! It's mine! But I don't remember I wasn't in my clothes! You remember everything! Bring in Sempleyarov Come in! It's a difficult and most unpleasant conversation but I want to tell with complete sincerity actress Militsa Andreevna Pokobatko We'll get to her later! Now tell us about the séance of black magic at the Variety As an intelligent and cultivated man, being the eyewitness to this outrageous séance I want to describe the mysterious masked magician known as Woland his two scoundrelly assistants, whom I remember perfectly well! Well, what do you say? Prokhor Petrovich LENINGRAD Second floor, comrades! Room twelve Open up Rimsky We know you're there! Here! You're under arrest! Lock me up in an armored cell, put armed guards at the door.
Interesting? who do they bury with such puzzled faces? Berlioz! Mikhail Alexandrovich chairman of MASSOLIT.
Among them a truly uncommon mood they carry the deceased but think of where his head might be.
What head? You see this morning in the hall of Griboedov's the deceased's head was filched from the coffin.
How can that be? Devil knows how! it wouldn't be a bad idea to ask Behemoth about it! They got a good scare! And, above all, it's incomprehensible who needs this head and for what! So it means that those are writers following the coffin! Well, naturally they are! And do you know them by sight? All of them to a man! Tell me, is the critic Latunsky among them? How could he not be? He's there at the end of the fourth row see? he's raising his eyes to heaven! And I can see, Margarita Nikolaevna that you hate this Latunsky! Do you know me? Well, I don't know you Where could you know me from? But all the same I've been sent to you on a little business.
You want to arrest me? Nothing of the kind! What is it - you start a conversation, and right away it's got to be an arrest! I simply have business with you What business? I've been sent to invite you for a visit this evening to a very distinguished foreigner! A new breed has appeared - a street pander! Fool! Scoundrel! darkness that came from the Mediterranean Sea covered the city hated by the procurator.
Yershalaim - the great city vanished as if it had never existed in the world! So you, too, can just vanish away along with your burnt notebook and dried-up rose! Sit here on the bench alone and entreat him to set you free, to let you breathe the air, to go from your memory! It's possible to find out about the pages You bribed Natasha, right! But how could you find out my thoughts? Tell me, who are you? From which institution? What a bore I'm not from any institution My name is Azazello but anyhow that tells you nothing But do you know anything about him?! I implore you, tell me only one thing is he alive? Don't torment me! Well, he's alive, he's alive Oh, God! Please no excitements and exclamations! Yes! Forgive me The foreigner to whom I'm inviting is not dangerous at all.
And not a living soul will know of this visit! That I can guarantee you! If I understand you rightly, you're hinting that I may find out about him there? I'll go! I'll go wherever you like! Difficult folk, these women! Why was I sent on this business? Behemoth should have gone, he's a charmer It's half an hour now that I've been wangling you into it! So you'll go? I will! Be so good as to accept this, then It'll come in useful, Margarita Nikolaevna you've aged a lot from grief in the last half-year.
Tonight, at exactly half past nine be so good as to take off all your clothes and rub your face and your whole body with this ointment.
Then do whatever you like only don't go far from the telephone! At ten I'll call you and tell you all you need to know.
Understood! Understood This thing is pure gold, you can tell by the weight.
So, then, I understand perfectly well that I'm being bribed and drawn into some shady story, for which I'm going to pay dearly.
What is all this? You're at it again? Give me back the cream! No, wait! Give it back I know what I'm getting into But I'm getting into it on account of him! because I have no more hope for anything in this world But I want to tell you that if you're going to ruin me, you'll be ashamed! Yes, ashamed! I'm perishing on account of love! Hah! What a cream! What a cream! Forgive me and forget me as soon as possible forget me.
I am leaving you forever Do not look for me, it is useless I have become a witch from the grief and calamities that have struck me It's time for me to go Farewell Margarita How How can it be? How did you do it? Margarita Nikolaevna? It's the cream! The cream, the cream! Leave it! Leave it Devil take it! Leave it all Or, no, keep it keep it as a souvenir! Take everything in the room Azazello will call now! He'll call! And the foreigner's not dangerous yes, I understand now that he's not dangerous! It's the neighbor from downstairs Ah, hello, Nikolai Ivanovich Good evening! Coming back from a meeting? And I am sitting alone, as you see, bored, looking at the moon and listening to the waltz Nikolai Ivanovich! That is impolite! I'm still a lady after all It's boorish not to reply when someone is talking to you.
Ah, what a boring type you are, Nikolai Ivanovich! Generally, I'm so sick of you all that I can't even tell you! I'm parting with you! Well, go to the devil! Azazello speaking! Dear, dear Azazello! It's time.
Take off! When you fly over the gate, shout "Invisible!" Then fly over the city a little, to get used to it and after that head south, out of the city, and straight for the river.
You're expected! Farewell, Nikolai Ivanovich Farewell for ever! I'm flying away! Farewell, Natasha! Margarita Nikolaevna Invisible and free! not at all you can't! You should turn the toilet light off after you, that's what I'm telling you, Pelageya Petrovna or else we'll apply to have you evicted! You're a good one yourself! You're both good ones! "DRAMLIT HOUSE" Khustov, Dvubratsky, Quant, Beskudnikov Latunsky! Latunsky! Latunsky! Why, he's the one he's the one who ruined the master! No point sitting around, however
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