Metal Hurlant Chronicles (2012) s01e06 Episode Script

Master Of Destiny

Narrator: The last fragment of a once-living planet.
Its body blasted into dust by the madness of its own inhabitants, while its head was cursed to roam aimlessly through time and space, screaming in pain and in sorrow.
In legend and in fact, it is known as Metal Hurlant.
Kull: Damn hydras! We've been trying to eliminate them for years.
And they're still fucking with us! All right.
There's only one left.
- Check.
- Let's go after him.
Kull: Wait.
We've got another one.
Don't worry.
All right, it's all over.
We're gonna turn over and pay ourselves in an army of whores.
This fuckin' war is over, Kull! My family gets their floating palace and I get my well-deserved orgy.
- Ahh.
- Oh, crap! All right.
Hold on.
It's not gonna be good enough, my friend.
- It's not looking good.
- Listen, pal, you said you're coming back from this mission.
Hondo, give my money to my family.
Otherwise, it will be given to the ( coughs ) to the Planetary Confederation.
I should have made a will before the mission.
That was a mistake.
There are no mistakes.
Karma works itself in mysterious ways to us mortals.
I could have known the place and the time of my death.
But I didn't dare.
How's that possible? On my last mission, I attacked the ogres of Gama-Taurus and freed their slaves.
Among them was a turtle-sapien.
These people live on a giant computer planet called Ghalthar.
They keep all the memories of all the planets and races.
And they know when and where each human being is going to die.
Where is this place? It's very difficult to find.
It rotates around the last sun of the galaxy.
( monitor beeping ) Let's get you home, Kull.
( hard rock music playing) Headbangers in leather Sparks flyin' in the dead of the night It all comes together - When they turn out the lights - Hello there, dear Hondo.
You didn't get all dressed up for me, did ya? - 50,000 watts of power - Here's your pay.
Too bad your partner didn't make it back alive.
But I'm sure you'll know what to do with his share.
The beast is ready to devour You're right, I do.
I also know what I'd like to do with mine, but I guess you're too expensive for me.
You hunters, you should know more than anyone that everything's got a price on this planet.
- Call it heavy metal - But you should have also known at the minute you saw me Call it heavy metal that it was clear I was never on the market for you.
Heavy metal noise Ow! - Ouch.
- Tight pants and lipstick She's riding on a razor's edge - She holds her own against the boys - So, will you buy us a drink? Can you feel the rage? Get your one-way ticket to midnight Call it heavy metal Higher than high, feelin' just right Call it heavy metal Desperation on a red line Aah! Not so fast, bitch! Aah! Guys! Hey, hey! You fucking idiot! Nobody touches our slaves! ( music continues ) Ahhhh! Hey! Aah! ( bystanders scream ) Drop it! Get down.
Get your one-way ticket to midnight Call it heavy metal Higher than high, feelin' just right Call it heavy metal Desperation on a red line Call it heavy metal Next time you bitches wanna make some money, try using your mouth, it's less risky.
Until then.
( spits ) Consider that your pay.
Heavy metal noise Heavy metal noise Call it heavy metal Ship computer: Incoming transmission.
Kull's wife: Hondo? We just received the money.
I wanted you to have that for you and the children.
- But you'll have nothing left.
- I've got far enough.
And you know, us mercenaries know how to make money.
Keeping it is another thing altogether.
May the Great Karma protect you.
Thank you.
Take care of yourself, Gayan.
Be careful.
Ghalthar is 2,000 light-years away.
That's at the fucking end of the universe, Kull! All right, can't do a space jump.
Nobody's ever done that before.
Without dying.
Let's hope this ship doesn't explode in inner space.
Yes, he is coming.
All right, that was close.
Ow.
What was that? ( indistinct, static-filled transmission ) Oh, great.
Pirates.
( indistinct transmission ) Cannibal pirates.
Come on, bastards.
Take this.
( static-filled transmission ) ( sighs ) Now with the help of Karma, I continue my journey.
It's just as we predicted.
Hondo the mercenary will arrive on the exact date.
If the Great Karma doesn't change its plans, this tough human will overcome all obstacles.
He will fly amidst the torrid heat of the Lake of Ancestral Magma, enduring its burn, and yet, always remain strong.
He will fight with an intergalactic guardian angel and will vanquish it by blowing open its heart.
Though he will lose his ship in the process.
Stubborn as he is, he'll go on without a ship, traveling 95 hours without ever sleeping, without eating or drinking.
Did you sleep well, homo sapien? I hope I'm not bargin' in on anything.
Not at all.
We've been waiting many years.
The premonition mathematicians will now satisfy our curiosity about what brought you here.
( applause ) Enough applause, brothers and sisters.
Our illustrious visitor, whose presence here confirms the validity of our science, will now ask us the essential question.
Go ahead, my son.
The great moment has arrived.
Ask! All right.
Um I want to I know when I'm gonna die.
This date, together with those of the deaths of other human beings, is written down in an ancient book.
You mean the names are written down in a book? Not on the computer planet itself? Gotta be one big book.
( turtle-sapiens murmur ) Mm-mm.
No, stranger.
These few pages are enough.
You can't have all the names of those people in that book.
You are mistaken, visitor.
We don't know the dates that all humans will die, only those of the few who are brave enough to come here to consult us.
And in this century, there are only five.
You are one, honorable Hondo, to whom six years of life remain.
Then Skarr, a beautiful female and professional thief, to whom six years also remain.
Then three intergalactic policemen who, they have only have a quarter of an hour left to live.
If I understand this, you're telling me all these men are gonna die here in a few minutes.
She'll be running and they'll be chasing.
According to our calculations, they'll be here in just a few seconds.
Ha! We've waited a century to enjoy this moment.
( roar of approaching ship ) ( incoming transmission ) Freeze, bitch, or I'll blast your head off.
After her! Policeman: Damn turtles! Out of the way! Let me through! Great Karma, the woman of my dream exists! Gotcha! Go ahead.
What are you waiting for? Shoot, already! Don't worry! I will! Maybe that'll teach you some manners, bastard.
I owe you my life.
And I owe you mine.
Because of you, I've been reborn.
( applause ) Yours is a true union.
You will live six more years and then you will die on the same day, the same minute.
In the same place.
Hmmm.
Hit by a ray beam.
Well, six years is a long time.
Then let's live them passionately, my darling.
Brothers and sisters, as always, our prophecies have been fulfilled! The mercenary is in love with the escaped thief, Skarr! Goodbye.
Enjoy your last years.
Thank you for demonstrating the truth of our prophecies.
May the Great Karma allow them to realize their destinies.
So, brothers and sisters, the two humans, female and male, believing themselves to have found in love the meaning of life, go off on their journey where they will live for six years abandoned to their love.
A mixture of bestiality, spirituality and insanity known only to homo-sapiens.
They will attack a bank ship convoy, leaving death in their wake and steal a fabulous treasure.
In the neutral galaxy, they will buy a small, exotic planet believing that Great Karma has forgotten them.
Unfortunately, the cosmically fated day arrives.
Crossing the edenic sky in the form of a large chunk of metal.
All that remains of a once-inviting and lush planet is this last fragment, inhabited by the madness of those who lived there and who destroyed it so long ago.
This piece of living metal, crying its infinite sadness, will bathe them in its sick light.
A cruel consciousness will awaken in them.
They will realize that what they called love was only the sweet mask of hate.
Clever as they are, they were hiding from their own weaknesses.
Both now feel that the other is smothering them, keeping them from respective freedoms.
In the dead of night, each believing the other to be asleep, they will try to take what remains of the treasure.
As we predicted, if Great Karma does not break its own laws, they will die in the same year, the same month, the same day, the same minute, the same place.
Each, stunned to find the other stealing from them, will grab their guns.
And without a moment to think, they will be gone.
You traitor! You little thief! Forever bonded in death.
And now, after this magnificent drama, we will wait 150 years before another human tries to come here to know his destiny.
Our lives are so tedious.
Isn't it difficult, brothers and sisters, never to sleep and live a minimum of 30,000 years? Oh, how our life is boring.

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