Mighty Med (2013) s01e06 Episode Script

Hey.
Oliver, check it out.
I'm totally gonna prank skylar.
Wh--and you didn't consult me? I'm the expert on pranks.
So what are you doing? Snakes in a can? Fake vomit? Fake vomit in a can? ( scoffs ) no, no.
That's amateur stuff.
( chuckles ) ( screaming ) ( laughing ) Chinese vengeance ghost.
( chuckles ) ( growling ) did anyone lose this nightmare lady-- Because I think I found it.
Skylar, that's a prank.
Oh.
( growling ) Well did anyone misplace this prank-- Because I think I found it.
Skylar-- ( stammering ) A prank is when you trick someone in a funny way, Like--like putting a whoopee cushion under their chair.
It's funny 'cause it sounds like a fart.
( laughing ) ( sighs ) on my planet, We don't have time for nonsense like that.
Our goal is to help people, not make them look stupid.
Yeah, well, you're on our planet now, And looking stupid's pretty popular.
And pranks are literally the first thing we learn to laugh at, Starting with-- peek-a-boo! Wah! Okay, so that you react to, but the chinese vengeance ghost-- Nothing?! Sorry.
On my planet, That is a marriage proposal.
Then why'd you try to kick my head off? That's how we say "no.
" Man: Okay, go.
every day's an adventure you never know by the looks on our face at the school when we enter leave class early, work at 3:30 hit the comic store, read up before the journey all these new issues and superpowers if we didn't have to work, we'd be here for hours but have you ever seen superheroes on a gurney? will we save the world today? you never know will we all be safe today? you never know will we fly away or stay? you never know but you know we're mighty med, team up and let's go! saving people that save people after classes we flip the page then jump to action they call us normo, normally fantastic seeing superheroes that we only imagined this type of life, you got to have fight put up your fists and fight for what's right never can tell, what we see is out of sight do the same thing tomorrow that we did tonight you never know will we fly away or stay? you never know but you know we mighty med team up and let's go! I've run extensive tests.
But I believe you're suffering from what we in the medical profession Call"a missile in the stomach.
" You see? It's rightHere.
Ooh! Uncle horace, I got to have one of these cool visitech hologram watches.
Everybody in the superhero world has one.
Not everyone has one.
But I do.
And if you want something as expensive as this, You have to earn it So you understand the value of a dollar.
That's stupid.
Tell you what-- One of our most important heroes, The great defender Will be here today having some tests.
And he's bringing his daughter along.
I want you to babysit her.
And then can I have the watch? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Stop saying, "can I?" Sorry.
May I? May I? May I? May I? We'll see.
She'll be here any minute.
( beeping ) ( clears throat ) Uh-oh.
Seems I'm needed upstairs.
There's a nightmare lady loose in the infirmary.
Don't worry-- I'm a great babysitter.
Kids love me.
Hi, I'm jamie.
Hi, I'm alan And I'm the boss of you.
So here's how things are going to work: I'm going to yell at you all day, And you're going to obey me without question.
Doesn't that sound like fun? All right If that's how you wanna play it.
( whooshing ) Hey, kid, where'd you go? ( jamie laughing ) Are you under the gurney? Jamie: No I amthe gurney.
( whooshing ) Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm a shape-shifter.
( whooshing ) ( tires screeching ) Come back! ( panting ) Didn't I tell you? I'm an out-of-shape-shifter.
( sighs ) Okay, as the world's foremost expert In practical jokes, I give you a crash course In the "abcs" of pranking.
You spelled "abcs" wrong.
A crash course in the "acbs" Of pranking.
Let me do this.
I've been pranking since before you were born.
Oliver, you're three days older than me.
I know.
I came out sideways Just to mess with my mom.
Now, key factors in making a good prank Are: How it's done-- Who it's pulled on-- And most important, How silly the person ends up looking.
Got it! So the guy who cuts your hair-- He was playing a prank on you? It looks better after a day or two.
( door opens ) It's horace.
Perfect timing For an in-class demonstration.
The classic Whoopee cushion gag.
( chuckles ) Are you planning pranks? This is a hospital, not a prank-planning place Where pranks are pulled or planned.
Please! Hey, maybe you should sit down And tell us why we shouldn't pull pranks.
Wait! I came here for a reason.
To sit down.
Anyway, remember what I said about no pranks.
Trying to impress a very important superhero.
Which reminds me-- I need to make a note.
( breaking wind ) "see dr.
Isaakson About flatulence problem.
" Okay, skylar, kaz is clearly A rookie at pranking.
So let the "maestro of mischief" Show you how it's done.
Hey, solar flare, I'm gonna pretend to crack an egg on skylar's head.
Why did you crack an egg on my head?! Oh ( chuckles ) You just faked it.
You should see what it feels like.
( laughing ) ( flames igniting ) ( skylar and oliver laughing ) Right.
All right, all right.
Not bad.
Let the genius With a capital "j" Show you how it's done.
Capital "j"? Really? Oh, I'm sorry-- Genius with a lowercase "j.
" ( chuckling ) It's the great defender! ( gasps ) big fan.
( stammering ) I love your power to create a defensive shield And make powers rebound off you.
I'm really good at rebounding.
But there's something off on my "freeze throws.
" I can only make, like, five out of ten.
Hey, what's that? Ooh! It's my lucky day! ( grunting ) ( groans ) ( skylar and kaz laughing ) Hey, does anybody know Where the "caution: No floor" sign is? ( kaz laughing ) Jamie! Where are you?! ( sighs ) Come on.
Shape-shift back! Is that you? ( gasps ) is that you? Is that you?! Fine.
That's how you want it? Dare I ask how your babysitting's going? Where's the great defender's kid? Uh, we're playing hide-and-seek.
I'm being totally responsible, Like the worthy, future-hologram-watch-wearing Nephew I am.
( chuckles ) This great defender is this close To donating enough money for a new wing.
Don't let me down.
( jamie laughing ) Jamie: This is hilarious.
( laughing ) Oh, so you're the plastic cup.
You little brat.
Well, this is where the trash belongs.
Jamie: Ew, gross! It's wet in here.
I can't use my powers when I'm wet.
Well then turning yourself into a cup Was not the best choice, was it? They're specifically designed to hold liquid.
Fine.
I'll get you a towel.
Jamie: No!!! Oh, no! This is terrible.
Plastic cups are supposed to go in recycling, not garbage! Also, I'm in huge trouble.
Great prank, kaz.
Now we have to wash the great defender's suit.
Wait--do you wash indestructibles in cold or warm? I'll look at the tag.
Whoa--he's an x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x Small? He's the shortest person on his planet.
He gets teased all the time.
Hey, this machine has a "super-spin" dial.
We should be done in no time.
( groaning ) ( whimpering ) What have you guys done?! The power of the super-spin cycle Is connected to the earth's core.
Everyone knows that.
Well why aren't you affected? I got a lot of traction.
Have you seen the size of my feet? Okay, what's gonna happen? We're all doomed! ( all screaming ) Ha! I pranked ya back, kaz! ( laughing ) The super-spin cycle didn't do this.
I did.
W-what do you mean? I spun the earth on my finger.
Like this But bigger 'cause it's the earth.
That is awesome.
ButThe hyper-rotation will rip the earth apart! Not as awesome! Don't worry.
I'll just spin the earth In the opposite direction.
Oh, no--my powers.
The--they're not working.
That's why I'm here in the hospital.
If you can't fix it, what'll happen? The planet will spin into the sun, Destroying the earth and everything on it.
That's what you get for pranking me, kaz.
This is allYourFault.
Well, the good news is there won't be any school tomorrow.
Or ever.
I can't believe this.
The world's gonna end.
And I just got these new jeans.
Talk about bad timing, huh? What's going on? Why don't you tell him, kaz? The truth is He did it.
Aah! The great defender made the earth spin faster.
Now we can't get it to stop.
They pranked me first! They got my suit all dirty.
The only other uniform they have for me to wear Is this I warned you kids about pulling pranks! Why did you have to prank the great defender, kaz? ( sighs ) why couldn't you just admit That I'm better at pranks than you-- That I'm the "governor of giggles"? "governor of giggles"? Should I have gone with "sultan of silliness"? The "city councilman of comedy"? Are you finished?! No.
The "warlord of wackiness"? Now I'm finished.
( panting ) Why is the gravity pulling so Hard?! ( panting ) Ew.
Jamie, are you in here? Jamie: Uh-huh.
I'm scared.
Hold up your hands.
I don't have hands! Don't worry.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Oh, no.
What? I gave this to my uncle horace for his birthday.
He said he loved it.
Could this day get any worse? Next thing you know, we'll find out This garbage is about to be destroyed by a disintegration ray.
( alarm buzzing ) Male computerized voice: Warning--disintegration ray Commencing in five minutes.
Horace, there's gotta be somethinthat we can do.
Well-- ( grunts ) I can activate the hospital's motion stabilizer.
( grunts ) But earth is still hurtling toward the sun-- Which means we'll be experiencing unbearable heat And geysers of steam.
I'm so torn-- I love being right, but I hate being hot.
Kaz, we need to think.
( sighs ) if only skylar still had her power To reverse time.
Or her power to control celestial bodies.
Or her power to alter gravity-- I get it! I used to be really cool! Wait--there is one way To save us.
Mighty med has a small, two-person rocket.
You boys could pilot that rocket into space And use its deflector shield To nudge the earth back into orbit.
Why us? Aren't there any superheroes who could do it? No! The rocket's controls Require the mindless, repetitive motion That you two have mastered wasting your lives Playing video games! Well, I am the "viceroy of video games.
" Please stop.
I am begging you.
Okay.
Horace, count us in.
Good.
But before we launch you into space, There's one very important thing I need to tell you.
Those jeans are not doing you any favors.
Jamie: Hurry! We're running out of time! Because I thought we had all the time in the world.
In fact, I was just about to ask the computer To cut the countdown time in half.
( alarm buzzing ) Computerized voice: Command accepted.
Countdown time cut in half.
Disintegration in one minute.
No! I was just being sarcastic! And how's that working out for you? ( beeping ) This is all my fault.
I'm sorry I threw you in the trash! Jamie: And I'm sorry I played a trick on you! Please don't leave me.
No one's leaving you-- Not on my watch.
Literally--I've got a visitech hologram watch Riding on this.
( inhales deeply ) Jamie: Yes! You saved me! ( sighs ) well, could you pull your fingers out of my nose? Oh, sorry.
Let me dry you off.
You're my hero! Uh--I-I am? Wow.
( chuckles ) No one's ever called me a hero before.
You know, if you ever want to come back to mighty med, I'd be more than happy to babysit you.
That's sweet and all, But we're about to be disintegrated.
So Could you maybe get us out of here? Oh, right! The launch pad is beneath the training deck.
We'll lower you into the capsule.
Oh--one small detail-- The impact from the deflector shields Will destroy the rocket, so you'll need To eject yourselves into space.
How many days can normos survive without oxygen? Zero! Zero days! Forget it.
There's no way we're doing that.
Oh, I understand.
The world and everyone on it can get destroyed, But we all really enjoyed your little prank day.
Kaz We have to do it.
I-- We're the only hope to save the world.
Wait! Don't send them! It really should be me going up there.
Wow, that is so like you-- Sacrificing yourself to save us.
The truth is, I really don't trust you guys to do it right.
You can't go.
They're already suited up, And we're out of time.
Move out, boys! Hey, o-oliver.
Oliver, before we go, I have a confession.
Y-you are better at pranks than I am.
You are the-- The "governor of giggles.
" ( chuckles ) But you're also the "nincompoop of nicknames.
" Thanks, "tuna kaz-erole.
" Wow, I am really bad at nicknames.
And listen-- These are our last few moments alive I'm glad I'm spending 'em with you.
Me, too, man.
Y-you're the best friend I could ever have.
( sighs ) I love you.
Love you, too, buddy.
And I love you both For letting me witness Such a hilariously sappy moment.
( laughing ) What's going on? Psych! The earth's not speeding toward the sun! It was all fake! T-there's no rocket.
There's no positronic reactor.
There's no launch pad under here.
There's a graveyard.
Th-this was all a prank? Now that's how you pull a practical joke.
You were in on this? No! It was all my idea! ( laughing ) And the student has becomeThe master.
But I don't understand.
W-what about all the-- the heat, And the--and the quaking, And the centripetal force? The great defender was in on the whole thing.
He wasn't spinning the earth on his finger.
That would be ridiculous.
He was only spinning the hospital on his finger.
Like this But only bigger 'cause it's a hospital.
And solar flare created the heat surge.
I feel so stupid.
Don't.
The danger was fake, But your bravery was real.
I commend you both.
I don't.
You should've seen your faces.
Ooh--"oh, I love you, man.
" ( imitating crying ) We don't have to stand here and take this.
No, we don't.
( both yell ) ( thudding ) Kaz: Who moved the "caution: No floor" sign? ( skylar and horace laughing ) Uncle horace-- there you are! Can we order my hologram watch now? I told you--after you babysit the great defender's kid.
IJust did.
She's right here.
No, this is the great defender's kid.
She's been alone all afternoon.
Then who have I been babysitting this whole time? That's jamie, Bernice from accounting's daughter.
Why were you watching her? What?! So I saved this kid's live for nothing?! What's the point of helping someone if you don't get anything in return? ( sighs ) the great defender doesn't even have a kid.
( chuckling ) I love pranks! ( no audible dialogue ) ( boing )