Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (2003) s01e06 Episode Script
Inventors vs. Ex-Child Actors
1 ANNOUNCER: What are these people running from? They're not, they're running to the world's toughest competition in town.
Tonight, a gritty team of inventors takes on a determined group of former childhood starts.
It's ingenuity versus ingénues, on MXC, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.
And now, Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano.
VIC ROMANO: Well, we've got a great show today, it's inventors against former child stars, and Kenny, I've got a little surprise for you.
He was the star of your favorite show, My Dad the Crazy Inventor, [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
Skippy Thorson.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Ah.
What? Skippy Thorson? VIC ROMANO: Yep.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, I loved that show.
VIC ROMANO: I know you do.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I was a huge fan.
VIC ROMANO: I enjoyed the realistic inventing.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hey, do your line.
You know, the line when you walked in the room, do it.
VIC ROMANO: Oh now, come on Kenny, you can't ask him to do that, he's not a performing monkey, I mean come on, you're not a monkey, are you? [LAUGHTER.]
Well all right do it.
Who wants to hear him do the line? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: They don't care, just do it.
VIC ROMANO: Okay.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Do it, do it, do it.
SKIP THORSON: Well, okay.
Let's get funkified.
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: That's it, that's it.
[LAUGHTER.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: No, no, no.
NO, that's not it.
It went, Let's get funkified.
VIC ROMANO: No it didn't, it was down here, Let's get funkified.
Just like that, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, no, no.
It was bigger.
VIC ROMANO: No, it was right down here.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I oughta know, it was my favorite show.
VIC ROMANO: Kenny, you ruin everything.
Let's go to Guy.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Thank you boys.
We have a very exciting match up today, pitting beautiful minds against some very talented, and formerly young bodies.
The competition begins with the always spine-tingling Get Over It.
Next our players get their rocks off at Sinkers and Floaters.
From there we move to the ride segment of Door Jam, followed by a high-speed spin on Le Tour de Grand Prix.
Finally, we finish up with the always popular, always demanding, Love Drop.
Now, let's send it to Captain Tennille.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: How many of you think the opinions of actors should be valued as much as well, say, doctors, engineers, or a courageous Congressman, hmm? [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Well, you're wrong.
Actors are self-centered punks.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Who, you front row, you have a problem with that? You're not giving me an obscene gesture, are you, actor boy? MALE: Oh no, I'm just scratching my buttocks.
[LAUGHTER.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Oh, good thing, 'cause I'd take you down if you were saying kiss my ass.
Remember that, chief.
But hey, let's have some fun.
Let's go.
VIC ROMANO: And it's time to Get Over It.
This is where contestants will have one minute to climb up and over the Wall of Wedgies and slide down into our mystery sludge.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Which today is provided by the Neptune Colonic Society.
VIC ROMANO: Ooh, good stuff.
And there's Nipsy White.
You may remember him as the troublesome paperboy from It's All Good.
And Luis Longacre, of course, inventor of the self-cleaning mattress.
And there's Skinny McHarris, from the BBC Soap, All My Blokes.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, Vic, check this out.
VIC ROMANO: That is Chad Halverson.
You might remember him as a child underwear model for Calvin Grind.
As a matter of fact, he's wearing one of the original training thongs made for kids up to 20 lbs.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, how many kids he got in there? [LAUGHTER.]
Why does he still wear the stupid things? VIC ROMANO: Oh, because it's lodged, Kenny.
[LAUGHTER.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
Lodged.
VIC ROMANO: Okay, the child stars take the lead into Sinkers and Floaters.
And of course the object there, stay on the floaters, or you're a sinker.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Get it on.
VIC ROMANO: And first up for the child stars is Ronny Eastman.
And who can forget him as the adopted bully in Stand Over Me.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, he's down.
Let's take another look at that, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, man.
VIC ROMANO: That's a shame.
There he is, good form, good extension, and oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, look at him.
Look, his leg.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he did.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Cool.
VIC ROMANO: And here's Seymour Corn.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He invented the Crap Caddy, the portable toilet for golfers.
VIC ROMANO: And he's also invented a win for the inventors.
Let's take another look at it.
Well he's definitely working with a lighter load, hey Ken? [LAUGHTER.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: And next up is Ralph Macchio.
Of course, he starred in the series, Little Fister.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oooh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I thought, I thought he had a chance, you know.
VIC ROMANO: Ah, always the optimist, Kenny.
And you can see right here, clearly he had no chance at all.
None, whatsoever.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
No.
[UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
VIC ROMANO: And here's Gloria Nicole Smith.
She invented the Jiggle Bra, which keeps your breasts heaving and tantalizing, even when you're not.
And she's got a very deliberate style, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, you can't stop in this game, just a matter of time.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, momentum is crucial.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh.
VIC ROMANO: And she proves it right there.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hope that Jiggle Bra is a flotation device.
VIC ROMANO: And here's Tommy Seville.
He played the foster kid in Nine's Too Many.
[OVERLAP.]
Oh, and he's down.
That deserves an MXC Impact Replay.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah look, he's got good form at the top here, good extension, good jump, and good face plant.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, Ken.
And here's Delbert Murdock, inventor of the Weiner Grabber.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, at sporting events you never have to leave your seat to grab your wiener.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
VIC ROMANO: Oh, what a convenience, but inconvenient for him, as he's down.
Let's go to Guy, find out what happened there.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: What a great invention, what's the history behind the Weiner Grabber? DELBERT: [OVERLAP.]
[LAUGHTER.]
Thank you.
Ah, it was her idea, my wife, she loves gobbling wieners, but she doesn't like other people touching it at ball games.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Who does? DELBERT: [OVERLAP.]
Right, right.
GUY LE DOUCHE: I understand you have a very interesting slogan.
DELBERT: Oh, yeah, it's a good one, really good.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Let's hear it.
DELBERT: If you're gonna snatch a wiener, use a Grabber.
VIC ROMANO: And thanks to Seymour Corn, the inventors have grabbed this round, and pulled to a one/one tie with the former child stars.
ANNOUNCER: Don't touch that dial, because the slamming, crashing, and splashing continues on MXC.
ANNOUNCER: Welcome back to MXC.
It's the ex kid stars versus the inventors.
VIC ROMANO: And it looks like our inventors have created quite a competition here today, as it's all tied up one to one.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
That guy rules.
VIC ROMANO: Yeah.
[LAUGHTER.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, Vic, I always wanted to invent something.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, well why don't you, Ken? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well, I've never been to college.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, Ken, that's not important.
All you need is a little imagination and the will to succeed.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Okay, how about green t-shirts? VIC ROMANO: Well, maybe a little schooling wouldn't hurt after all? Let's go to Door Jam.
And of course the object of Door Jam is to make your way door to door through the neighborhood maze without getting evicted into the muck.
And working our doors today are Deadbolt and Peephole.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Today's muck is provided by Andy's Cat Porta-Potties.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Get it on.
VIC ROMANO: Thank you Captain.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: I'm bringing down the house.
VIC ROMANO: First up, child star Jimmy Weir.
Ooh, takes a spill.
And who can forget Jimmy's pratfalls in the acclaimed children's series, the Pants Puppets.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, hands down, Pants Puppets was one of the best shows ever.
VIC ROMANO: Oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, ho ho.
VIC ROMANO: And speaking of hands down, Jimmy is right now, in the much.
And onto our first inventor, Roy Edison.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: This guy's like way quiet, he must have invented the library.
VIC ROMANO: No, actually Ken, Roy invented the shoe muffler, for people with noisy feet.
Very popular among today's teens with strict parents.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: And you can see that he is stealthily stepping through the maze.
And oh, [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
I hope his shoes are sewage proof.
WENDY BLOSSOM: Hi Mom.
VIC ROMANO: And next up for the former child stars, Wendy Blossom.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I'm not familiar with her.
VIC ROMANO: Well that's because she's not really a star, Ken, she's just famous for being the daughter of a famous person.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
Well, she's making a name for herself now.
Look at her go.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed she is, and what's her name makes it all the way through.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, enough, just swallow it, you baby, get in there.
And that's Sammy Ganard.
He invented the Lugie Launcher.
For long distance spitting.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, I, I have one of those.
VIC ROMANO: I think everyone does, Ken.
Oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh.
He's gonna be hawking up muck now.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he will, Ken.
WENDY BLEDSOE: I'm going all the way.
Yeah.
VIC ROMANO: And next up for the actors, Mary Bledsoe, probably best remembered for that very special after school special, Why is My Belly Growing? And she's moving all the way through, and KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Uh-oh.
VIC ROMANO: Deadbolt's got her.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Is this what I think it is? VIC ROMANO: I think you might be right, Ken.
We don't see this too often, and what an honor for her.
In tribute to her athletic prowess, Mary is getting smeared with the Salve of Honor.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Look at her wiggle and jiggle.
She's excited.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Oh.
She's got to be very, very excited.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
One of the highest tributes you can get here on MXC.
Let's take another look with an MXC Impact Replay.
She just scooted through that maze.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You know, despite their incredible ugliness and body odor, they're really nice guys.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed they are, Ken.
You know, we go to the same AA home group.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Wow.
LMALE: I refuse to lose.
VIC ROMANO: And this peppy personality is Lou Mizrahi.
He invented a line of men's clothing that converts to women's evening apparel.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And he's leading our guys on quite a chase here.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he is, starting off casually at first.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, yeah.
VIC ROMANO: Then you can see his style becoming much more formal.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Trying to get away, keeps reversing his field, and oh, I think they got him.
VIC ROMANO: They sure do, Ken.
Oh, looks like access denied.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: They're negotiating his surrender.
VIC ROMANO: And we've got an eviction in progress, right here.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: There he goes.
VIC ROMANO: Ho, ho.
That was totally off the racks.
LOU MIZRAHI: I still love myself.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, remember this guy? SKIPPY CUNNINGHAM: Oh, nose nuggets.
VIC ROMANO: Ha ha, that's Skippy Cunningham, from the show Enjoyable Times.
For 25 seasons he played the lovable 12-year-old Potsie Mouth.
One of my favorite programs, Ken.
And look at him go.
Skipping across those thresholds like he lives there.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Uh-oh.
They got him.
VIC ROMANO: They sure do, Ken.
He's not gonna find any welcome mat from Deadbolt and Peephole.
Not here.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And then oh, ho, ho.
VIC ROMANO: In the muck.
Ho, ho.
SKIPPY CUNNINGHAM: Oh, nose nuggets.
VIC ROMANO: [LAUGHTER.]
Nose nuggets.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
Nose nuggets.
Nose nuggets.
GUY LE DOUCHE: You gave them a good run.
What were you thinking? SKIPPY CUNNINGHAM: Oh, nose nuggets.
No, just kidding.
[LAUGHTER.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Why don't you describe it for us? SKIPPY CUNNINGHAM: Okay, well anyway, I went through that door, and then I thought I'd go around this way, and then I thought oh no, there they are.
So I ran this way.
And you know, at that point I made poopie in my pants.
Next thing you know, it's soggy nose nuggets time.
Ha, ha, ha.
VIC ROMANO: Well it may be soggy nose nuggets for Skippy, but thanks to Wendy Blossom the former child stars have taken top billing.
And after three rounds they lead the inventors two to one.
ANNOUNCER: Next on MXC, more roughin' it, toughin' it, and huffin' it, as the challenge continues.
ANNOUNCER: Back to MXC and the inventors against the ex child stars.
VIC ROMANO: Hey, Kenny, remember Skippy and his nose nuggets? Nose nuggets.
[LAUGHTER.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Nose nuggets.
Nose nuggets.
Nose nuggets.
VIC ROMANO: Nose nuggets.
[LAUGHTER.]
That's a lot of fun.
Hey, Kenny, take us to the next game.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Next up, the Tower of Grand Prix.
VIC ROMANO: Uh, Kenny.
That's the Tour de Gran Prix.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: It's spelled prix.
VIC ROMANO: Uh, first up, Jerry Levenet.
He invented the combo bedpan slow cooker.
Next to him, actor Lance LaChaim, Ice Boy: Glaciar Planet 2.
And Tom Tagonnet invented the juice jizzer, and Albert Haas played Pinky Trouser, child gynecologist, and finally Willy Upton, inventor of the trucker's friend, wine in a sponge.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
And there's the flag and we are under way.
And Tagonnet shoots out into the lead, he is going pedal to the medal Kenny.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Well he sounds a lot more powerful than the other ones do.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he does.
And look at him there, taking that turn one, drifting all over those lanes.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Getting a little bottled up here.
Congestion at the bottleneck.
VIC ROMANO: I tell you, these trikers have a definite need for speed, and they are really moving out there.
There's no breaks on these trikes, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: No, they had to take 'em off for weight reasons.
VIC ROMANO: Absolutely.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, and [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
up at the finish line, LaChaim coming up, he's drafting slingshots into first place, and wins it.
Holy smokes, let's take a look at that gang.
Here we are coming out of the widow maker turn.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, we had one racer go down here earlier, he skinned a knee, cried for an hour, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, Ken.
We've lost too many good trikers that way.
But here, if we stop it right here, you can see Tagonnet in the lead.
Fighting the tremendous G forces.
And right here, LaChaim slips out of the draft and slingshots to victory.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And now let's look at the reverse angle.
You can see even better as LaChaim rides Tag's tail, and zooms to the finish line.
VIC ROMANO: And there's Willy Upton as he edges out Albert Haas for third place, and he is not a happy camper.
WILLY UPTON: This ain't no excuse, but I thought it was 250 laps.
I guess I should have gone to that driver's meeting.
VIC ROMANO: And here's the final results of the first heat.
It's LaChaim, Tagonnet, Upton, Haas, and Levenet.
And now the ladies.
VIC ROMANO: There's actress Jodie Hunt, the first girl eaten on Little Wagon on Donner Pass.
And there's inventor Sally Steiner, actress Marcia Menudo, inventor Gail Becker, and Barbie Yothers, best known as Muffy the Mummy Trapper.
And there's the flag and they're off.
And it's a fast start.
But it looks like they're getting their [SOUNDS [LIKE trannies.]
in a bunch entering that first turn.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well they're pelvis to pelvis, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed they are, Ken.
But Sally Steiner and Marcia Menudo are laying it all on the line as they fight for the lead.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Steiner's in first as they pass the Whiffer.
VIC ROMANO: Those are blasts of turgid whale wind, Ken.
Steiner pulls into turn three, look how she holds it.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What aerodynamics.
VIC ROMANO: Looks like Gail Becker's blown a rod.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And Jodie Hunt went down into the infield.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, but up at the [SOUNDS [LIKE prod.]
it's all little Sally Steiner, as the inventor keeps pulling away.
We are seeing something special here, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, she's down.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed she is.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
No, she's back up.
VIC ROMANO: And she scoots across and wins it.
And let's take another look at that finish on our MXC Impact Replay.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Here coming up the ramp, she goes airborne as the rear chassis hydroplanes, and oh, gosh.
VIC ROMANO: She may have gouged out her sports gear, Ken.
And you can also see there that that air bag did not deploy.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: These trikes may be stripped down, but they are still lethal.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
And the final results are posted.
It's Steiner, Menudo, Yothers, Hunt and Becker.
So the inventors and the child stars have each won one.
Who will win the rubber match? Let's find out.
VIC ROMANO: In lane number one, actor Burt Smithers.
Lane number two, Dan Skate, invented Office in a Cup.
And there's Steve Shanks starred in My Teacher's a Good Kisser.
Next to him, Mike Giddings, inventor of the oral reservoir.
Last but not least, Sammy Smits, star of the low-rated Barrio Buds.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
And there we are, we are off.
And right away it looks like we got trouble in the front row on the first hill.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Looks like Burt Smithers didn't gear down, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken, almost causing a five-trike pile-up.
And there's Smithers setting the pace, but on the inside look out.
Here comes Danny Skate, he's huddled to the pedal as he rockets to the bottleneck.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You know, Vic, in order to win this race you just gotta be in front.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken.
In a championship race like this, it's just let 'em out, let 'em rip.
Trike racing at it's finest.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He flies through turn three.
VIC ROMANO: I don't know how he's holding it together, Ken, at those speeds.
He's running his own race, and it looks like that slick track's giving him trouble back in the field.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Skate burns through the widow maker.
But still thank god for those guard rails.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, Ken.
DANNY SKATE: Oh, oh, no, come on, don't quit on me now.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, looks like he's got a little engine trouble there.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Uh-oh, his engine's missing.
You can hear it from here.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are Ken.
Oh, but he seems to have got it started up again.
DANNY SKATE: Ha, ha, ha, ha, I won, kiss my ass.
VIC ROMANO: And Danny Skate has won it for the inventors.
And as the rest of the field limps across the finish line, let's take a look at the triker who owned this track today, Danny Skate.
And he wins it for the inventors, and now our two teams are tied 2-0, heading into the final round of play.
ANNOUNCER: Still to come on MXC, more roller, less molars, and our top painful eliminations of the day.
ANNOUNCER: It's the finale of MXC Inventors vs.
Ex Child Stars.
VIC ROMANO: Well we have got ourselves a thriller.
It's all tied up between the inventors and child stars, and - KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: Kenny, what are you laughing at? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I was just thinking about nose nuggets.
VIC ROMANO: Kenny, would you stop saying that? Every time you say that, I gotta touch my nose, see? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Really? Nose nuggets.
VIC ROMANO: Feel like I got a dangler.
Would ya cut it out? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Wow, you're right.
VIC ROMANO: Uh, got it.
Okay, Kenny, let's get back to the game.
It's time for Love Drop.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Get it on.
VIC ROMANO: First up for the inventors is Bert Stark.
BERT STARK: I'll make it nice and clean.
VIC ROMANO: He's the inventor of the rectal shaver.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: The rectal shaver, it goes where tweezers are afraid.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, and look at Bert go.
Looks like - oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: [LAUGHTER.]
He is down.
KAREN EDWARDS: I'm a star.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
And that's Karen Edwards, star of Night Harvester.
The story of a nocturnal talking tractor.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: She takes a hard one, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hey, hey, let's look at that again.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed we should.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Now stop it right there.
Look at that.
VIC ROMANO: Look at what? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Look at that.
How come there's a t-shirt with your face on it, and not one with mine? VIC ROMANO: 'Cause I'm pretty.
But let's get back to Karen's replay.
You can see she starts out in good shape.
And right there you can see.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, that's a hard hit.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed it is.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, it's a hard hit that way too.
VIC ROMANO: Ooh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Whoa, it's hard the third time.
VIC ROMANO: And next up, a big fan of the Captain's, inventor Trevor Mackley.
TREVOR MACKLEY: [SOUNDS LIKE I'm a stud puppy.]
The Captain's my idol.
I even have one of his collectible lunch boxes.
VIC ROMANO: Well let's see how he does.
Oh, and he's in trouble right away, looks like he needs some help.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And oh-oh, he broke the Captain's sword.
That's a family heirloom.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: You just bought yourself a 39 dollar sword, my friend.
So why don't you just look out there, and say goodbye to your friends, 'cause life as you VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Ho, ho, you can tell the captain is steamed.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: know it has just changed, pretty boy.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Wow that must suck, to have your idol hate you now, huh? VIC ROMANO: Indeed, Ken.
It certainly adds to the pressure, and you can see it's starting to show.
Let's see if Trevor can pull this off.
And there he goes, KENNY BLANKENSHIP: One more, one more and he might have it.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Let's see if he can make it all the way across.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yuh.
VIC ROMANO: And a bittersweet win for Trevor.
He not only wins the Captain's wrath, but one for the inventors.
TINA: [SINGING.]
VIC ROMANO: And there's little Tina Tuscadero.
You may remember her as the tattling orphan from the cop show Cruel But Just.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
Let's go to our MXC Impact Replay.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: So here, oh, a nice face plant.
Well, girls don't do this better, huh? [LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Uh, are you all right, you hit your nose so hard.
TINA: Yeah, I'm fine, I may have a little snoogie on my nose, though.
GUY LE DOUCHE: [LAUGHTER.]
A snoogie? Let Dr.
Guy check you out.
TINA: No.
GUY LE DOUCHE: I see something in here.
TINA: Ah, oh, please.
[LAUGHTER.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: A snoogie.
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: And on to John Popeel, the brains behind the pocket pool stick.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Is that a stick for pocket pool, or a pool stick that fits in your pocket? VIC ROMANO: I'm not sure Ken, but I do know you need to provide your own balls.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, ow.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, look at that knee.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
Let's look at that again.
VIC ROMANO: And there he goes, you can just hear the tendons and cartilage separating from the bone.
Indeed, and here is Rock St.
Mercedes, played the young Shlomo in My Favorite Rabbi.
He's got a great style going.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, oh, oh-ho.
VIC ROMANO: You hear that, oh, he hangs in there.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He's light on his feet.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he is.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well he's in the full frontal humper.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, and there it is, but he doesn't get the humper, so the humper's in the dumper.
And here's Opie Begley Jr.
OPIE: Geronimo.
Um, I drive a plastic car that runs on expired credit cards, and I also ride a ten speed made out of sand.
VIC ROMANO: All right, and there's Opie, actor and inventor.
Takes off there, looking good.
[UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
skippy skip.
Into a meadow prance.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Up to a naughty prowler.
VIC ROMANO: And there he goes, and that's a scooting piker, no, little trouble there.
Manages to pull himself up, and he's got it, Ken.
Let's go to the replay.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You know, Vic, you want to pack on points, you gotta use the prowler.
VIC ROMANO: That's right, and Opie packs on a half point for the actors and a half point for the inventors, making this whole thing pretty much pointless.
Well the inventors have come through and invented a win for themselves.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I invented something, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: What's that, Ken? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Only the greatest invention ever.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, it's time for Kenny Blankenship's Painful Eliminations of the Day.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Number 10, no cracks please.
Todd Halverson single-handedly destroyed the male thong business.
Number nine, Sammy Ganard, inventor the Lugie Launcher, gets picked and flicked.
Number eight, [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
slides into intensive care.
And seven, Mary Bledsoe just got dirty.
Sally Steiner, inventor of edible bikini wax, looks bad, tastes good.
And number five, Little Fister star Ralph Macchio drops a load and in Sinkers and Floaters.
And four is awarded to pocket pool shark John Popeel, where he sinks his two ball in the side pocket.
Number three, orphan bully Ron Eastman adopts some pain.
And number two, inventor of the rectal shaver, Bert Stark.
His motto, keep a shine in your behind.
He lost out by a hair.
And my most painful elimination of the day goes to pretty Karen Edwards, who gets [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
the face and almost swallows that big swollen log.
You know what Vic? I changed my mind.
The most painful sight has to go to flabby Clod Halverson, just for the sheer guts, and butt crack.
Way to go, big fella.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: How could I have picked anyone else? VIC ROMANO: How could you indeed? You know, you're a deeply disturbed individual, but always a pleasure working with you, Ken.
Anyway, what do we always say? ALL: Don't get eliminated.
VIC ROMANO: Nose nuggets.
Tonight, a gritty team of inventors takes on a determined group of former childhood starts.
It's ingenuity versus ingénues, on MXC, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.
And now, Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano.
VIC ROMANO: Well, we've got a great show today, it's inventors against former child stars, and Kenny, I've got a little surprise for you.
He was the star of your favorite show, My Dad the Crazy Inventor, [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
Skippy Thorson.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Ah.
What? Skippy Thorson? VIC ROMANO: Yep.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, I loved that show.
VIC ROMANO: I know you do.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I was a huge fan.
VIC ROMANO: I enjoyed the realistic inventing.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hey, do your line.
You know, the line when you walked in the room, do it.
VIC ROMANO: Oh now, come on Kenny, you can't ask him to do that, he's not a performing monkey, I mean come on, you're not a monkey, are you? [LAUGHTER.]
Well all right do it.
Who wants to hear him do the line? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: They don't care, just do it.
VIC ROMANO: Okay.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Do it, do it, do it.
SKIP THORSON: Well, okay.
Let's get funkified.
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: That's it, that's it.
[LAUGHTER.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: No, no, no.
NO, that's not it.
It went, Let's get funkified.
VIC ROMANO: No it didn't, it was down here, Let's get funkified.
Just like that, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, no, no.
It was bigger.
VIC ROMANO: No, it was right down here.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I oughta know, it was my favorite show.
VIC ROMANO: Kenny, you ruin everything.
Let's go to Guy.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Thank you boys.
We have a very exciting match up today, pitting beautiful minds against some very talented, and formerly young bodies.
The competition begins with the always spine-tingling Get Over It.
Next our players get their rocks off at Sinkers and Floaters.
From there we move to the ride segment of Door Jam, followed by a high-speed spin on Le Tour de Grand Prix.
Finally, we finish up with the always popular, always demanding, Love Drop.
Now, let's send it to Captain Tennille.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: How many of you think the opinions of actors should be valued as much as well, say, doctors, engineers, or a courageous Congressman, hmm? [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Well, you're wrong.
Actors are self-centered punks.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Who, you front row, you have a problem with that? You're not giving me an obscene gesture, are you, actor boy? MALE: Oh no, I'm just scratching my buttocks.
[LAUGHTER.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Oh, good thing, 'cause I'd take you down if you were saying kiss my ass.
Remember that, chief.
But hey, let's have some fun.
Let's go.
VIC ROMANO: And it's time to Get Over It.
This is where contestants will have one minute to climb up and over the Wall of Wedgies and slide down into our mystery sludge.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Which today is provided by the Neptune Colonic Society.
VIC ROMANO: Ooh, good stuff.
And there's Nipsy White.
You may remember him as the troublesome paperboy from It's All Good.
And Luis Longacre, of course, inventor of the self-cleaning mattress.
And there's Skinny McHarris, from the BBC Soap, All My Blokes.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, Vic, check this out.
VIC ROMANO: That is Chad Halverson.
You might remember him as a child underwear model for Calvin Grind.
As a matter of fact, he's wearing one of the original training thongs made for kids up to 20 lbs.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, how many kids he got in there? [LAUGHTER.]
Why does he still wear the stupid things? VIC ROMANO: Oh, because it's lodged, Kenny.
[LAUGHTER.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
Lodged.
VIC ROMANO: Okay, the child stars take the lead into Sinkers and Floaters.
And of course the object there, stay on the floaters, or you're a sinker.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Get it on.
VIC ROMANO: And first up for the child stars is Ronny Eastman.
And who can forget him as the adopted bully in Stand Over Me.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, he's down.
Let's take another look at that, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, man.
VIC ROMANO: That's a shame.
There he is, good form, good extension, and oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, look at him.
Look, his leg.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he did.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Cool.
VIC ROMANO: And here's Seymour Corn.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He invented the Crap Caddy, the portable toilet for golfers.
VIC ROMANO: And he's also invented a win for the inventors.
Let's take another look at it.
Well he's definitely working with a lighter load, hey Ken? [LAUGHTER.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: And next up is Ralph Macchio.
Of course, he starred in the series, Little Fister.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oooh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I thought, I thought he had a chance, you know.
VIC ROMANO: Ah, always the optimist, Kenny.
And you can see right here, clearly he had no chance at all.
None, whatsoever.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
No.
[UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
VIC ROMANO: And here's Gloria Nicole Smith.
She invented the Jiggle Bra, which keeps your breasts heaving and tantalizing, even when you're not.
And she's got a very deliberate style, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, you can't stop in this game, just a matter of time.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, momentum is crucial.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh.
VIC ROMANO: And she proves it right there.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hope that Jiggle Bra is a flotation device.
VIC ROMANO: And here's Tommy Seville.
He played the foster kid in Nine's Too Many.
[OVERLAP.]
Oh, and he's down.
That deserves an MXC Impact Replay.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah look, he's got good form at the top here, good extension, good jump, and good face plant.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, Ken.
And here's Delbert Murdock, inventor of the Weiner Grabber.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, at sporting events you never have to leave your seat to grab your wiener.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
VIC ROMANO: Oh, what a convenience, but inconvenient for him, as he's down.
Let's go to Guy, find out what happened there.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: What a great invention, what's the history behind the Weiner Grabber? DELBERT: [OVERLAP.]
[LAUGHTER.]
Thank you.
Ah, it was her idea, my wife, she loves gobbling wieners, but she doesn't like other people touching it at ball games.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Who does? DELBERT: [OVERLAP.]
Right, right.
GUY LE DOUCHE: I understand you have a very interesting slogan.
DELBERT: Oh, yeah, it's a good one, really good.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Let's hear it.
DELBERT: If you're gonna snatch a wiener, use a Grabber.
VIC ROMANO: And thanks to Seymour Corn, the inventors have grabbed this round, and pulled to a one/one tie with the former child stars.
ANNOUNCER: Don't touch that dial, because the slamming, crashing, and splashing continues on MXC.
ANNOUNCER: Welcome back to MXC.
It's the ex kid stars versus the inventors.
VIC ROMANO: And it looks like our inventors have created quite a competition here today, as it's all tied up one to one.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
That guy rules.
VIC ROMANO: Yeah.
[LAUGHTER.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, Vic, I always wanted to invent something.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, well why don't you, Ken? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well, I've never been to college.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, Ken, that's not important.
All you need is a little imagination and the will to succeed.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Okay, how about green t-shirts? VIC ROMANO: Well, maybe a little schooling wouldn't hurt after all? Let's go to Door Jam.
And of course the object of Door Jam is to make your way door to door through the neighborhood maze without getting evicted into the muck.
And working our doors today are Deadbolt and Peephole.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Today's muck is provided by Andy's Cat Porta-Potties.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Get it on.
VIC ROMANO: Thank you Captain.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: I'm bringing down the house.
VIC ROMANO: First up, child star Jimmy Weir.
Ooh, takes a spill.
And who can forget Jimmy's pratfalls in the acclaimed children's series, the Pants Puppets.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, hands down, Pants Puppets was one of the best shows ever.
VIC ROMANO: Oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, ho ho.
VIC ROMANO: And speaking of hands down, Jimmy is right now, in the much.
And onto our first inventor, Roy Edison.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: This guy's like way quiet, he must have invented the library.
VIC ROMANO: No, actually Ken, Roy invented the shoe muffler, for people with noisy feet.
Very popular among today's teens with strict parents.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: And you can see that he is stealthily stepping through the maze.
And oh, [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
I hope his shoes are sewage proof.
WENDY BLOSSOM: Hi Mom.
VIC ROMANO: And next up for the former child stars, Wendy Blossom.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I'm not familiar with her.
VIC ROMANO: Well that's because she's not really a star, Ken, she's just famous for being the daughter of a famous person.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
Well, she's making a name for herself now.
Look at her go.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed she is, and what's her name makes it all the way through.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, enough, just swallow it, you baby, get in there.
And that's Sammy Ganard.
He invented the Lugie Launcher.
For long distance spitting.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, I, I have one of those.
VIC ROMANO: I think everyone does, Ken.
Oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh.
He's gonna be hawking up muck now.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he will, Ken.
WENDY BLEDSOE: I'm going all the way.
Yeah.
VIC ROMANO: And next up for the actors, Mary Bledsoe, probably best remembered for that very special after school special, Why is My Belly Growing? And she's moving all the way through, and KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Uh-oh.
VIC ROMANO: Deadbolt's got her.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Is this what I think it is? VIC ROMANO: I think you might be right, Ken.
We don't see this too often, and what an honor for her.
In tribute to her athletic prowess, Mary is getting smeared with the Salve of Honor.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Look at her wiggle and jiggle.
She's excited.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Oh.
She's got to be very, very excited.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
One of the highest tributes you can get here on MXC.
Let's take another look with an MXC Impact Replay.
She just scooted through that maze.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You know, despite their incredible ugliness and body odor, they're really nice guys.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed they are, Ken.
You know, we go to the same AA home group.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Wow.
LMALE: I refuse to lose.
VIC ROMANO: And this peppy personality is Lou Mizrahi.
He invented a line of men's clothing that converts to women's evening apparel.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And he's leading our guys on quite a chase here.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he is, starting off casually at first.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, yeah.
VIC ROMANO: Then you can see his style becoming much more formal.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Trying to get away, keeps reversing his field, and oh, I think they got him.
VIC ROMANO: They sure do, Ken.
Oh, looks like access denied.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: They're negotiating his surrender.
VIC ROMANO: And we've got an eviction in progress, right here.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: There he goes.
VIC ROMANO: Ho, ho.
That was totally off the racks.
LOU MIZRAHI: I still love myself.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, remember this guy? SKIPPY CUNNINGHAM: Oh, nose nuggets.
VIC ROMANO: Ha ha, that's Skippy Cunningham, from the show Enjoyable Times.
For 25 seasons he played the lovable 12-year-old Potsie Mouth.
One of my favorite programs, Ken.
And look at him go.
Skipping across those thresholds like he lives there.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Uh-oh.
They got him.
VIC ROMANO: They sure do, Ken.
He's not gonna find any welcome mat from Deadbolt and Peephole.
Not here.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And then oh, ho, ho.
VIC ROMANO: In the muck.
Ho, ho.
SKIPPY CUNNINGHAM: Oh, nose nuggets.
VIC ROMANO: [LAUGHTER.]
Nose nuggets.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
Nose nuggets.
Nose nuggets.
GUY LE DOUCHE: You gave them a good run.
What were you thinking? SKIPPY CUNNINGHAM: Oh, nose nuggets.
No, just kidding.
[LAUGHTER.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Why don't you describe it for us? SKIPPY CUNNINGHAM: Okay, well anyway, I went through that door, and then I thought I'd go around this way, and then I thought oh no, there they are.
So I ran this way.
And you know, at that point I made poopie in my pants.
Next thing you know, it's soggy nose nuggets time.
Ha, ha, ha.
VIC ROMANO: Well it may be soggy nose nuggets for Skippy, but thanks to Wendy Blossom the former child stars have taken top billing.
And after three rounds they lead the inventors two to one.
ANNOUNCER: Next on MXC, more roughin' it, toughin' it, and huffin' it, as the challenge continues.
ANNOUNCER: Back to MXC and the inventors against the ex child stars.
VIC ROMANO: Hey, Kenny, remember Skippy and his nose nuggets? Nose nuggets.
[LAUGHTER.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Nose nuggets.
Nose nuggets.
Nose nuggets.
VIC ROMANO: Nose nuggets.
[LAUGHTER.]
That's a lot of fun.
Hey, Kenny, take us to the next game.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Next up, the Tower of Grand Prix.
VIC ROMANO: Uh, Kenny.
That's the Tour de Gran Prix.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: It's spelled prix.
VIC ROMANO: Uh, first up, Jerry Levenet.
He invented the combo bedpan slow cooker.
Next to him, actor Lance LaChaim, Ice Boy: Glaciar Planet 2.
And Tom Tagonnet invented the juice jizzer, and Albert Haas played Pinky Trouser, child gynecologist, and finally Willy Upton, inventor of the trucker's friend, wine in a sponge.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
And there's the flag and we are under way.
And Tagonnet shoots out into the lead, he is going pedal to the medal Kenny.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Well he sounds a lot more powerful than the other ones do.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he does.
And look at him there, taking that turn one, drifting all over those lanes.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Getting a little bottled up here.
Congestion at the bottleneck.
VIC ROMANO: I tell you, these trikers have a definite need for speed, and they are really moving out there.
There's no breaks on these trikes, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: No, they had to take 'em off for weight reasons.
VIC ROMANO: Absolutely.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, and [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
up at the finish line, LaChaim coming up, he's drafting slingshots into first place, and wins it.
Holy smokes, let's take a look at that gang.
Here we are coming out of the widow maker turn.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, we had one racer go down here earlier, he skinned a knee, cried for an hour, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, Ken.
We've lost too many good trikers that way.
But here, if we stop it right here, you can see Tagonnet in the lead.
Fighting the tremendous G forces.
And right here, LaChaim slips out of the draft and slingshots to victory.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And now let's look at the reverse angle.
You can see even better as LaChaim rides Tag's tail, and zooms to the finish line.
VIC ROMANO: And there's Willy Upton as he edges out Albert Haas for third place, and he is not a happy camper.
WILLY UPTON: This ain't no excuse, but I thought it was 250 laps.
I guess I should have gone to that driver's meeting.
VIC ROMANO: And here's the final results of the first heat.
It's LaChaim, Tagonnet, Upton, Haas, and Levenet.
And now the ladies.
VIC ROMANO: There's actress Jodie Hunt, the first girl eaten on Little Wagon on Donner Pass.
And there's inventor Sally Steiner, actress Marcia Menudo, inventor Gail Becker, and Barbie Yothers, best known as Muffy the Mummy Trapper.
And there's the flag and they're off.
And it's a fast start.
But it looks like they're getting their [SOUNDS [LIKE trannies.]
in a bunch entering that first turn.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well they're pelvis to pelvis, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed they are, Ken.
But Sally Steiner and Marcia Menudo are laying it all on the line as they fight for the lead.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Steiner's in first as they pass the Whiffer.
VIC ROMANO: Those are blasts of turgid whale wind, Ken.
Steiner pulls into turn three, look how she holds it.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What aerodynamics.
VIC ROMANO: Looks like Gail Becker's blown a rod.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And Jodie Hunt went down into the infield.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, but up at the [SOUNDS [LIKE prod.]
it's all little Sally Steiner, as the inventor keeps pulling away.
We are seeing something special here, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, she's down.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed she is.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
No, she's back up.
VIC ROMANO: And she scoots across and wins it.
And let's take another look at that finish on our MXC Impact Replay.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Here coming up the ramp, she goes airborne as the rear chassis hydroplanes, and oh, gosh.
VIC ROMANO: She may have gouged out her sports gear, Ken.
And you can also see there that that air bag did not deploy.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: These trikes may be stripped down, but they are still lethal.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
And the final results are posted.
It's Steiner, Menudo, Yothers, Hunt and Becker.
So the inventors and the child stars have each won one.
Who will win the rubber match? Let's find out.
VIC ROMANO: In lane number one, actor Burt Smithers.
Lane number two, Dan Skate, invented Office in a Cup.
And there's Steve Shanks starred in My Teacher's a Good Kisser.
Next to him, Mike Giddings, inventor of the oral reservoir.
Last but not least, Sammy Smits, star of the low-rated Barrio Buds.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
And there we are, we are off.
And right away it looks like we got trouble in the front row on the first hill.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Looks like Burt Smithers didn't gear down, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken, almost causing a five-trike pile-up.
And there's Smithers setting the pace, but on the inside look out.
Here comes Danny Skate, he's huddled to the pedal as he rockets to the bottleneck.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You know, Vic, in order to win this race you just gotta be in front.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken.
In a championship race like this, it's just let 'em out, let 'em rip.
Trike racing at it's finest.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He flies through turn three.
VIC ROMANO: I don't know how he's holding it together, Ken, at those speeds.
He's running his own race, and it looks like that slick track's giving him trouble back in the field.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Skate burns through the widow maker.
But still thank god for those guard rails.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, Ken.
DANNY SKATE: Oh, oh, no, come on, don't quit on me now.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, looks like he's got a little engine trouble there.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Uh-oh, his engine's missing.
You can hear it from here.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are Ken.
Oh, but he seems to have got it started up again.
DANNY SKATE: Ha, ha, ha, ha, I won, kiss my ass.
VIC ROMANO: And Danny Skate has won it for the inventors.
And as the rest of the field limps across the finish line, let's take a look at the triker who owned this track today, Danny Skate.
And he wins it for the inventors, and now our two teams are tied 2-0, heading into the final round of play.
ANNOUNCER: Still to come on MXC, more roller, less molars, and our top painful eliminations of the day.
ANNOUNCER: It's the finale of MXC Inventors vs.
Ex Child Stars.
VIC ROMANO: Well we have got ourselves a thriller.
It's all tied up between the inventors and child stars, and - KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: Kenny, what are you laughing at? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I was just thinking about nose nuggets.
VIC ROMANO: Kenny, would you stop saying that? Every time you say that, I gotta touch my nose, see? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Really? Nose nuggets.
VIC ROMANO: Feel like I got a dangler.
Would ya cut it out? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Wow, you're right.
VIC ROMANO: Uh, got it.
Okay, Kenny, let's get back to the game.
It's time for Love Drop.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Get it on.
VIC ROMANO: First up for the inventors is Bert Stark.
BERT STARK: I'll make it nice and clean.
VIC ROMANO: He's the inventor of the rectal shaver.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: The rectal shaver, it goes where tweezers are afraid.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, and look at Bert go.
Looks like - oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: [LAUGHTER.]
He is down.
KAREN EDWARDS: I'm a star.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
And that's Karen Edwards, star of Night Harvester.
The story of a nocturnal talking tractor.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: She takes a hard one, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hey, hey, let's look at that again.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed we should.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Now stop it right there.
Look at that.
VIC ROMANO: Look at what? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Look at that.
How come there's a t-shirt with your face on it, and not one with mine? VIC ROMANO: 'Cause I'm pretty.
But let's get back to Karen's replay.
You can see she starts out in good shape.
And right there you can see.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, that's a hard hit.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed it is.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, it's a hard hit that way too.
VIC ROMANO: Ooh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Whoa, it's hard the third time.
VIC ROMANO: And next up, a big fan of the Captain's, inventor Trevor Mackley.
TREVOR MACKLEY: [SOUNDS LIKE I'm a stud puppy.]
The Captain's my idol.
I even have one of his collectible lunch boxes.
VIC ROMANO: Well let's see how he does.
Oh, and he's in trouble right away, looks like he needs some help.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And oh-oh, he broke the Captain's sword.
That's a family heirloom.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: You just bought yourself a 39 dollar sword, my friend.
So why don't you just look out there, and say goodbye to your friends, 'cause life as you VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Ho, ho, you can tell the captain is steamed.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: know it has just changed, pretty boy.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Wow that must suck, to have your idol hate you now, huh? VIC ROMANO: Indeed, Ken.
It certainly adds to the pressure, and you can see it's starting to show.
Let's see if Trevor can pull this off.
And there he goes, KENNY BLANKENSHIP: One more, one more and he might have it.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Let's see if he can make it all the way across.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yuh.
VIC ROMANO: And a bittersweet win for Trevor.
He not only wins the Captain's wrath, but one for the inventors.
TINA: [SINGING.]
VIC ROMANO: And there's little Tina Tuscadero.
You may remember her as the tattling orphan from the cop show Cruel But Just.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
Let's go to our MXC Impact Replay.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: So here, oh, a nice face plant.
Well, girls don't do this better, huh? [LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Uh, are you all right, you hit your nose so hard.
TINA: Yeah, I'm fine, I may have a little snoogie on my nose, though.
GUY LE DOUCHE: [LAUGHTER.]
A snoogie? Let Dr.
Guy check you out.
TINA: No.
GUY LE DOUCHE: I see something in here.
TINA: Ah, oh, please.
[LAUGHTER.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: A snoogie.
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: And on to John Popeel, the brains behind the pocket pool stick.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Is that a stick for pocket pool, or a pool stick that fits in your pocket? VIC ROMANO: I'm not sure Ken, but I do know you need to provide your own balls.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, ow.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, look at that knee.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
Let's look at that again.
VIC ROMANO: And there he goes, you can just hear the tendons and cartilage separating from the bone.
Indeed, and here is Rock St.
Mercedes, played the young Shlomo in My Favorite Rabbi.
He's got a great style going.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, oh, oh-ho.
VIC ROMANO: You hear that, oh, he hangs in there.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He's light on his feet.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he is.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well he's in the full frontal humper.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, and there it is, but he doesn't get the humper, so the humper's in the dumper.
And here's Opie Begley Jr.
OPIE: Geronimo.
Um, I drive a plastic car that runs on expired credit cards, and I also ride a ten speed made out of sand.
VIC ROMANO: All right, and there's Opie, actor and inventor.
Takes off there, looking good.
[UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
skippy skip.
Into a meadow prance.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Up to a naughty prowler.
VIC ROMANO: And there he goes, and that's a scooting piker, no, little trouble there.
Manages to pull himself up, and he's got it, Ken.
Let's go to the replay.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You know, Vic, you want to pack on points, you gotta use the prowler.
VIC ROMANO: That's right, and Opie packs on a half point for the actors and a half point for the inventors, making this whole thing pretty much pointless.
Well the inventors have come through and invented a win for themselves.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I invented something, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: What's that, Ken? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Only the greatest invention ever.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, it's time for Kenny Blankenship's Painful Eliminations of the Day.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Number 10, no cracks please.
Todd Halverson single-handedly destroyed the male thong business.
Number nine, Sammy Ganard, inventor the Lugie Launcher, gets picked and flicked.
Number eight, [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
slides into intensive care.
And seven, Mary Bledsoe just got dirty.
Sally Steiner, inventor of edible bikini wax, looks bad, tastes good.
And number five, Little Fister star Ralph Macchio drops a load and in Sinkers and Floaters.
And four is awarded to pocket pool shark John Popeel, where he sinks his two ball in the side pocket.
Number three, orphan bully Ron Eastman adopts some pain.
And number two, inventor of the rectal shaver, Bert Stark.
His motto, keep a shine in your behind.
He lost out by a hair.
And my most painful elimination of the day goes to pretty Karen Edwards, who gets [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
the face and almost swallows that big swollen log.
You know what Vic? I changed my mind.
The most painful sight has to go to flabby Clod Halverson, just for the sheer guts, and butt crack.
Way to go, big fella.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: How could I have picked anyone else? VIC ROMANO: How could you indeed? You know, you're a deeply disturbed individual, but always a pleasure working with you, Ken.
Anyway, what do we always say? ALL: Don't get eliminated.
VIC ROMANO: Nose nuggets.