Nip/Tuck s01e06 Episode Script

Previously on Nip / Tuck: You're not the only one who's lost a baby, Sean.
But I was the only one who wanted one.
Miss Babcock, tell me what you don't like about yourself.
Everything.
Mrs.
Freudlich, tell me what you don't like about yourself.
It's Berger.
I'm Bliss Berger.
Mrs.
Freudlich's at 4:00, Sean.
I'm sorry, my mistake.
Miss Berger, tell us what you don't like about yourself.
My wings.
May we see your wings? I call this the wattle from hell.
When it's hot, I just move it back and forth like this and in 20 seconds my condo's cooler than an ice cream truck.
I swear to God.
And that's just my arm.
Do you want to see my back fat? Your point's been effectively made, Miss Berger.
- You could put your jacket on if you wish.
- Thank you.
You've obviously lost a great deal of weight.
One hundred and forty-three pounds and counting.
The corrective operation you want is called a brachioplasty.
We can probably do the abdominoplasty at the same time? Put it on the books.
If you guys are as good as I've heard I'll be swinging my tucked tuchus down the aisle in Vera Wang.
Is there a date, because there will be a healing period.
Especially if we're talking sleeveless.
No date yet.
That's why I'm here.
I met my soul mate on jdate.
com.
This is my Isaac.
Is he not to die? Not only is he good-looking and Jewish, he's a doctor.
We've been dating for six months now.
Over the phone.
- He hasn't seen you yet? - No, of course he has.
I sent him a picture that's 10 years old.
I could not let him see me tipping the scales at 260, you know.
He'd reject me.
He is very into physical fitness.
Isaac does Pilates.
- And now he's pushing for a meeting? - Has been for three months now.
So I got motivated and lost the junk in the trunk.
But now I have a deadline.
We're finally meeting in three weeks, and I have got to look hot.
So, Miss Berger, you've been living a lie.
Okay, yeah, I have been and I'm ashamed about that.
It was not right to lie, but I am working very hard to make it the truth.
Then let's make an honest woman out of you.
Okay.
You and Julia been sucking back a little chardonnay? - You've been at half-mast all day today.
- I'm just tired, that's all.
That girl got me thinking about a slogan for an ad campaign: "Be yourself.
You know you could look better.
" Good, huh? I told you I don't wanna advertise.
It's sleazy.
It may've been sleazy two months ago.
Now it's a necessity.
Bobolit's doubled his billboard campaign, and he's launching cable TV advertising.
If we don't compete, we're screwed.
Speaking of which - What time is it? - Oh, no.
It's only 7:00, Dad.
You're not late.
Why did you sleep down here? You and Mom fighting again? Your mother and I are fine, Matt.
I just couldn't sleep.
You okay? I wanted a brother.
What? The baby that Mom lost.
I was hoping it was a brother.
That's why you're sad, too, right? You can't stop thinking about it, either.
I'm concerned how your mother feels.
A miscarriage takes a toll on a woman physically and emotionally.
But how do you feel? - It didn't happen to me.
- Yes, it did, Dad.
It was your baby, too.
Did you ever give it a name? First of all, you never name a baby until it's born.
It's bad luck.
It's different for your mom.
She's got the hormones, and the baby's in her body.
Mom is doing fine, Dad.
You're the one that's missing in action.
You're depressed.
How did you get so sweet, Matt? Not from your old man.
I'll put on some coffee.
- David.
- What? If it was a boy, I wanted to name him David.
My sons Matt and David.
Daddy.
Dad.
Nanette Babcock killed herself? When? Her landlord said she shot herself three weeks ago.
I can't believe this.
Any other ideas who might be trashing your vehicles? No.
In my experience and I've had hundreds of cases such as these it's usually someone close to home.
You did it.
So sue me.
I ate your Yoplait yesterday.
I confess.
- You trashed my car.
Both of them.
- Excuse me? It's suddenly crystal clear.
The incidents began when you started working at Troy /McNamara.
McNamara/Troy, but I digress.
I didn't trash your cars, Christian.
You're gonna have to file a restraining order against Nanette Babcock.
She's dead.
She killed herself which makes you the prime suspect.
- What would my motive be? - You want the power.
I've got it.
You've enjoyed pushing my buttons since you started.
I may have pushed your buttons, but you didn't push mine.
Translation: I didn't even have an orgasm when I slept with you.
Your narcissism was so sickening that I had to get the hell out of your apartment, fulfilled or not.
The person who's trashing your car is clearly suffering from a jealousy-induced manic rage.
I'm not jealous of your other women.
I slept with you knowing full well that you were just a lost, little boy.
Shit.
You didn't do it.
Then who the hell did? The list is so long it could take months to question all the suspects.
- You didn't have an orgasm, is that right? - Not a shudder.
You're a liar.
I rode you like a Triple Crown jockey and you came.
Get out of my face right now.
I counted each contraction.
Three times.
Or were you doing your Kegel exercises? Lock the door.
Anyone ever tell you you look fine in that skirt? Don't.
Expressing yourself in private is fine.
Doing it in public is not, okay? I told you I don't want anyone to know about us.
I mean it.
It's cool, Rid.
Nobody's watching.
Why do you have to be so goddamn clingy? You're pathetic.
- Wait, don't go.
- Get your hands off me, dyke.
- Everything all right? - Oh, my God! Lurk much? I wasn't lurking.
I just asked if you were okay.
I'm fine, Matt.
My girlfriend misses the trouser snake, and I'm fine.
Yeah, well, get a dildo, Vanessa.
- She's allergic to latex.
- It's not my problem.
- But you could be the solution.
- What? You care about me, don't you? You understand my feelings for Ridley, right? - Because those are your feelings for me.
- So? So help me.
You're the only one I trust.
Help me make her satisfied so I can keep her.
And I'll satisfy you.
What, you're proposing a three-way? Yes.
Hey, honey.
You must be hungry.
You want me to fix something? I can warm up the pasta I made for the kids.
Nanette Babcock.
Remember her? The manic-depressive? The one you helped? I didn't help her enough, Julia.
She shot herself.
She's dead.
I could have done more.
I could have saved her.
You're a doctor, Sean, not God.
I can't, Julia.
Are you hard? Is your thing in? I threw it away when it failed us.
I just had my period.
I should be fine.
I can't risk fine, Julia.
I can't go through another accident.
I can't stand another loss.
We have to do something.
Maybe I should get a vasectomy.
Then we wouldn't have to worry anymore.
That's an awfully big leap between something and vasectomy.
Be honest, Julia.
Do you want another child? Can you see us having one? No.
Maybe I should get my tubes tied.
That's absurd.
It's a much simpler operation for me.
Did you have any names picked out? No.
Did you? No.
She wants a three-way? Yeah, her girlfriend misses guys.
So now you want some advice.
Suddenly the yearning for Uncle Christian makes perfect sense.
I've missed you.
I really have.
You tell your mother we were taking the boat out? Of course not.
She would have hit the roof.
She had every right to.
I shouldn't have taken you to that porn party.
If you and I are gonna hang, we'll follow new rules.
No more illicit conversations no more advice on things you're not experienced enough to handle.
What are we gonna talk about then? You're right.
God, it's gonna be boring.
Look, Uncle Chris, do you think I'm mature for my age? God help me, yes.
Then stop freaking out that you're corrupting me.
Is having a three-way taking it to the edge? Yeah, it is.
It sounds weird but maybe it's a really modern way for Vanessa and I to be together.
So I'm gonna do it.
With or without you.
Okay.
Rule number 1.
Should I write this down? No, just listen.
Rule number 1: It's all about the ladies.
Forget who you like and what you like because you're there to please them.
Start chugging your B vitamins 'cause it's exhausting shit.
Okay.
- What's rule number 2? - It's all about the ladies.
I'm telling you, Sean, I felt violated.
The only other time I felt remotely this powerless was back in the early '90s when some chick slipped her finger up my butt with no warning.
Earth to Sean.
- Did you hear a word I said? I'm upset! - And I'm depressed.
So take a hit of V.
It'll perk you right up.
I don't need remedies.
I need a solution.
So I'm gonna get a vasectomy.
What? Why? Julia doesn't wanna have any more kids, and I can't handle another mistake.
That is the most bullshit cure for depression I've ever heard of.
You wanna shoot blanks, Sean, don't get snipped.
- Do what I do.
Take a bath.
- What? Before every date I sit in a 116-degree bath.
Excessive testicular heat shuts down spermatogenesis.
Tea bag your testicles in a hot tub and I swear to God, you will be sterile and squeaky clean.
You don't know about real loss, so don't offer me advice.
If your marriage is this shaky that this is the only solution to your problems, good luck.
And screw you.
I do understand loss.
The Boatox is my baby.
What am I gonna do to make this stop? I filed a complaint.
The cops are useless.
I think somebody's gotta go through his little black book and make amends.
When was your last radiation, Mrs.
O'Hara? Nine months ago.
We were very lucky she didn't lose her hair.
Not a single strand.
Most women who have a mastectomy choose to have breast reconstruction done during their surgery.
I see you didn't.
She was very sick from the chemo, so she didn't- Jim, you wanna let me answer this question? These are my tits he's talking about here.
Okay.
The chemo did make me very sick.
I wanted to concentrate on healing.
I'm a very holistic person.
That's my business, actually.
I'm a chiropractor.
When a girlfriend of mine got implants she said she woke up after the operation feeling like a ton of bricks were sitting on her chest.
I felt I could only handle so much, you know? Usually, the sensation of weight only happens if the implant is a "C" or larger.
That's what we want.
"C's.
" That's my present to him for going through this hell with me.
I was previously an "A" cup.
That's an awfully generous gift.
Well, I can't give him the children we wanted.
The chemo and radiation, you know It's okay.
We can adopt.
We're doing great.
Jim, just stop! Just stop it! For once just stop being a cheerleader and let me feel it! If I don't feel it, I can't get past it.
Don't you see that? Have you cried, Mr.
O'Hara? No.
Not even alone? I was trying to be strong for you.
For us.
What? Now I'm a goddamn unfeeling monster, right? Do you know how many men leave their wives when they Your anger's understandable.
You've lost the health of your wife, her body.
Even with implants and a reconstruction you'll never get back what you lost.
I am angry.
My whole life all of our dreams, they just blew up the day she came home and told me.
I want my wife back.
Mr.
O'Hara, our staff psychologist Dr.
Santiago can recommend a counseling source.
And, Mrs.
O'Hara I can recommend a date for a second consultation.
Melanie, hi.
Christian Troy.
I know it's been six months Two weeks A year since we broke up but I'm just calling to talk about how it ended between us.
So, Penny Jenny call me back so we can catch up.
I really would like to be friends, and I hope you're well.
- Hello? - Hey, asshole.
How's tricks? I'm sure there's been a dozen since you kicked me to the curb last week.
Gina, I'd know that bitter tone anywhere.
How are you, sweetheart? If you're calling to tell me you have genital herpes, spare the drama.
I've already got them.
I got infected two years ago.
You do? No, I'm clean, prick.
What do you want? I've been doing some real soul-searching lately, and- The 12-step booty call is not gonna work with me, Christian.
Fool me once.
That's not why I'm calling.
Sexaholics Anonymous meetings are all over town if that's what you're looking for.
Just stay away from 64th and Collins.
That's mine.
Boy, you're a really angry girl, Gina.
Maybe angry enough to trash a car? We got vandalized, did we? That's called karma, Christian.
You got a shitload of bad stuff coming.
How does that feel, huh? Being violated? Are you afraid? Do it again, I'll have you arrested.
Eat shit and die, asshole.
- Listen, you crazy bitch- - You sweet talker, you.
- Who is this? - It's Kimber.
Kimber Henry.
You fixed my tits, you gave me a nose job months ago.
You just called me.
Oh, right.
Kimber, how are you? - Great.
How are you? - Couldn't be better.
- Look, thanks for returning my message.
- I was thinking of you, too.
- I was gonna give you a call.
- Why? If you wanna find out, meet me tomorrow at Mascara Studios.
Hey, that's her bad side.
Do not shoot her bad side.
All right, take 20, everyone! I'm so glad you're here.
Isn't this cool? I booked my first cover.
OCEANDRIVE magazine.
And, in a way, you're responsible.
Look at you, sweetheart.
You're an eleven.
Kimmie, back off.
You're getting body makeup all over this man's suit.
- Nico Scamarel.
- Dr.
Christian Troy.
Dr.
Troy.
The man with the golden knife.
I told her, sure, have him drop by.
Why not? We'll talk about a return visit.
Nico's my manager.
And my fiancé.
Is she something or what? After this, we're going after the fronts of the big books.
Vogue, Cigar Aficionado.
But as I was telling Kimmie yesterday, first we gotta lift that ass.
Look.
One professional to another, it could be higher, right? Honey the craft service table, it's total carb hell.
Could you look into some veggies or low-fat protein or something? Think about giving us a special price, Doctor.
She's walking advertising.
Nice.
Unlike some people I know.
I had that coming.
So, I know why I called you.
Why did you call me? Is there a problem with my insurance or something? No problem.
It's just that lately I've been doing some real soul-searching and I treated you like shit.
You deserved better.
You still deserve better.
You're right.
I do.
Any ideas? Dinner sounds great, Kimber.
Have the doorman let you in.
He has a key.
Okay, baby.
I'll see you at 8:00.
- I knew it was you! - Get your goddamn hands off me.
- What is this? - It's a present.
I was just leaving it under your wipers, asshole.
I was feeling guilty about telling you not to come to the meetings.
- What else is in the purse, Gina? - I don't know, Christian.
Mace, Altoids maybe some spray paint.
Nice graffiti.
Very accurate.
I'm getting it fixed tomorrow morning.
I'm sending you the bill.
I'm putting out a restraining order.
Oh, really? Wow.
That's gonna be a little difficult seeing as you don't even know my goddamn name! What is my last name, asshole? You never even asked me.
Not even after you screwed me.
The police are gonna have a hard time bringing me to heel if they don't know my name.
Now, don't you wish you'd gotten to know me better? Trash my goddamn car one more time, and I will trash you! I'm a plastic surgeon! I know just which bones to break to make you an ugly, sorry girl! Are we clear? It's not gonna stop, Christian! It's not gonna stop till you change your life! - Okay, candles.
- Check.
Condoms? Check.
Lubricant? Is strawberry-flavored okay? That's all they had.
Ridley's vegan.
That's great.
You know, Vanessa, this isn't just about Ridley.
What do you want? I just want her to love me.
That's all.
- Is all this effort worth it? - You tell me, Matt.
Is all this pain worth it to you? Pain? I'm a guy about to have a three-way.
Look.
I know you think maybe this is a way for us to be together, Matt.
But I have to be honest with you.
It's not.
You can never have me the way that Ridley can.
I love you as a friend.
But that's it.
That's fine.
I feel the same way.
I told you, I'm just the guy who's helping a girl out in trouble.
God, Matt.
If only you were a girl.
This gives you a "B" cup.
- Can I - Please, pick it up.
Check the weight, the consistency.
That's what this consult is for.
I think I'll try the "C" cup.
I've always wanted to wear a tube top.
Seems like just yesterday we were shooting raw silicone into women.
My, how far we've come.
We don't have to do this today.
I'm on your timetable here.
I'm fine.
It's nothing you haven't seen before, right? What do they say, one out of every five women goes through this? That's right.
You had an excellent surgeon.
This is very clean work.
I won't need to do any skin grafts.
You're a great candidate for this surgery.
- What about nipples? - We work with a great tattoo artist.
Tattoos? They're just drawn on? With the correct shadings and colorations they look like the real thing.
Don't for one second feel ashamed about these scars on your chest.
You're just wearing on the outside what the rest of us wear on the inside.
I like your style, Dr.
McNamara.
You're very brave.
These consultations can be difficult, I know.
You're the brave one.
I meant how you talked to my husband the other day.
How you talked to him about pain.
- Have you had cancer? - No.
You know a lot about loss.
My wife miscarried recently.
I know what it's like to be a man and not let yourself feel.
I just wanted your husband to know he has to take action if he's gonna get through it.
- Did you take action? - I'm getting a vasectomy.
I guess I'll take the "B" cup.
Christian Troy's office? I'll find it.
- How are we doing today, Miss Berger? - It hurts.
Are you getting enough pain medication? This is my medication.
Hey, have you seen Christian? - Get the hell out of this office right now! - Give me just a minute.
I love her, man, and you don't.
She is my life.
- What the hell happened here? - He trashed your office with a baseball bat.
So I guess we found your vandal.
He's not the one.
I found the person that was doing this to my car.
- This is- - Just another happy coincidence? - You gonna press charges? - No.
Who the hell was that guy? He's the fiancé of a former patient.
So why did he come in here? Did he hate her nose job? - He hated the fact that I slept with her.
- When? Last night.
This has got to stop.
You don't shit where you eat.
- I'm not gonna- - It's not your business.
Be a goddamned professional.
You don't see me acting that way.
You don't see Grace acting that way.
Excuse me.
- If it happens again- - What are you gonna do, Dad? Dock my paycheck? If it happens again, someone could get hurt.
Would that make it stop? Would that get your attention? I can't see you anymore.
I don't understand.
Am I moving too fast, cooking for you? No.
You can't let that Nico thing make you upset, honey.
You know how hotheaded Latin men are.
I have to put my life back on track.
I can't sleep with patients anymore.
Sean's right.
You don't shit where you eat.
- I am not shit.
- I'm the shit, sweetheart.
You are sweet and trusting and kind and I'm the shit.
I don't believe this.
When my clothes were off, you said I was your soul mate.
I'm not gonna be your victim this time.
You do the dishes.
You missed out on a good thing.
Isn't this supposed to be fun? I'm having fun.
Aren't you, Matt? Yeah, totally.
So, how do we launch this? I guess one of us has to start the underwear pile.
God, you guys are such pussies.
I told you she was beautiful.
Vanessa, come here, baby.
Up.
Help me with her bra.
You have to be invited.
This is about us.
Take off your clothes, Matthew.
Everything.
- Are you upset with me? - Of course not.
It's your body, it's your decision.
Did you and your husband- I made the decision by myself this morning.
Right before I told Jim I was leaving him.
Many marriages don't survive cancer.
You're not alone.
There's a big hole in our marriage now that can never be repaired.
And we both know that.
We just had to finally be honest.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah me, too.
But I'm oddly hopeful now, too.
Why is that? Jim doesn't see me as whole anymore.
I thought maybe no one could.
But you did yesterday during my exam.
And I thank God for that moment.
If I may share a lesson recently learned? Don't make the mistake of healing the internal problem with an external fix.
This day's been tough.
I'm gonna go get blotto on a Mojito.
A double.
Thank you, Dr.
McNamara, for everything.
Maybe you'd like to join me? I'm sorry.
We have a policy here that we don't see patients socially.
But I am allowed to walk you to your car.
What? Nothing.
I just want to kiss you.
I kiss you all the time.
You thanked me earlier.
Actually, I'm the one who should thank you.
I'm not normally the one with the bedside manner.
That's usually my partner.
But when I was treating you I felt like a healer again.
It was very nice, Megan.
You're a very nice man, Dr.
McNamara.
Sean.
Out of the lab coat, I'm just Sean.
Good-bye, Megan.
Good-bye, Sean.
Who died? It's recently been brought to my attention that crossing the patient-doctor boundary line is not that uncommon after all.
You're the patient I want to take that chance with.
Bliss? I'm Isaac.
What?