No Activity (2015) s01e06 Episode Script

1 Car 72, no activity.
Standing by.
[SLURPS.]
Mmm.
This is such bullshit.
How many other cops are here waiting for this raid? This is our raid, our moment! We were here from the beginning.
Look how far back we are.
We've got a terrible position.
We should be at the front, the front car, the only car! - Hendy.
- It's our operation.
- Adapt or die.
- It just makes me mad.
- Be like the goldfish.
- Hmm? You know goldfish? They adapt or they die.
Like, you put a goldfish in a small bowl, it grows small.
Put a goldfish in a large bowl, that very same goldfish, like, a swimming pool, it grows large.
It understands its surroundings and it adapts, all right? It does not buck the system.
It doesn't get a head full of goldfish steam and want to be a large-ish fish.
It's happy with being a goldfish.
Well, that's the problem.
I'm not a goldfish.
I'm a shark and they've put me in a goldfish bowl.
You know how frustrating that is for the shark? I just wanna eat and keep moving and never sleep and keep moving.
And never swim backwards.
Never swim backwards.
Always move forwards.
Or you could be a handsome dolphin.
I don't wanna be a dolphin.
I'm a shark.
Oh, you remember that dolphin I picked up in the hard rubbish throw-out? - Mmm.
- Had it in my living room.
- It looks ridiculous.
- Does it? That's weird.
There's a crack in its bum.
It leaked brown water all over the carpet.
So I put it out the front yard.
- Huh.
- The circle of life.
Has anyone else picked it up yet? No.
Why would they? It's fucked.
[THEME MUSIC.]
Out here on my own Why's it always take so long? I'm ready for the moment Forget about the future I'm ready for the pressure to blow.
MAN ON RADIO: Operation Big Red.
We have 14 units standing by outside target location.
Two known male associates inside the warehouse and, uh, the big boss is expected any time.
Won't be long, guys.
You thought any more about maybe coming down the coast with me? I wanna follow up on a few leads first, looking for the old man.
- Going to Esperance.
- Esperance? - Yeah.
- Really? Which, funnily enough, is French for 'hope'.
What, did your mum have French She had French in her? She might have at some stage, yeah.
- Yeah, she got around.
- She really did.
What about you? What about this small business idea? Nah, not a small business.
I'm sort of thinking There's a little place I love, you know? - On the Sapphire Coast there.
- Oh, yeah.
You can never get a decent coffee there.
Might just Always hard, isn't it, in the rural areas on that coast drive.
I might just open up a little shop where you can get coffee.
Nice.
Like a cafe? No, not a cafe.
Just a shop where you can get coffee.
You know, flat white or something.
Double shot.
You know, just just coffee.
- Like a coffee shop.
- Not a coffee shop.
Just just a shop, you know? So nothing else, just purely coffee? And just shit that goes with it, you know? - What shit? - Shit people eat, you know? - Shit people eat with coffee.
- People eat shit? Yeah, they have a coffee and they eat shit with it.
- What shit? - Pastry or something.
- What kind of pastries? - Oh Croissant.
Chocolate croissant.
Nothing fancy.
Just shit to have with your coffee.
Maybe a drawing or something on the wall.
A painting or something.
I don't know.
So it's kind of an art cafe.
It's not a fuckin' art cafe.
It's not a fuckin' art cafe, all right? Okay? It's just a place where you go, you get coffee, you get shit to eat and you get a drawing.
So I could I could go there.
I could get some locally sourced and roasted beans? - Mm-hm.
- And a strong latte perhaps.
- Get a pastry, a nutmeg tart.
- Yep, mm-hm.
Look at some some work from local artists.
Mm-hm.
Well, I don't know.
I don't mean to offend you.
But I'm pretty sure that's an art cafe.
Why don't you why don't you think about coming down with me? Better than trawlin' around the country looking for that old slut, I know that.
What? HENDY ON RADIO: Car 72, still no activity.
- Maintaining position.
- Copy that, Car 72.
- Continue to stand by.
- [APRIL YAWNS.]
And have a great day.
You're in a good mood.
Yeah.
I took Lachy back.
- From Tony? - Yep.
He's gonna stay with me the whole time.
I can't have him with his dickhead dad.
- Okay.
- So he's back with me.
That's That is so great, Carol.
- When when did that happen? - This all happened today.
So you took him home, came to work? No, he's in the car.
- Is Why? - Oh, just you know.
No, bring him in.
That's fine.
- No, no, no.
- He was fine last time.
After what happened with the photos, I thought it would be best.
I didn't mind the photos.
He was just fine.
You don't know what he did with them.
- Okay.
- You don't wanna know.
- He's got a 'Tumble' site thing.
- Okay.
He's put it on the Facebooks.
It's it's "Hot April Nights".
- Wow.
Okay.
- Some of it's pretty degrading.
It's your head with other bodies and Burgh! Anyway, 'cause he 'photo-stores' them.
So I wouldn't go googling yourself any time soon APRIL: All right, okay.
Unless you want a bit of a fright.
Is it possible to ask him to take them down for me? I don't think he can.
Once the internet's got them - Okay.
- That's it.
Maybe it's best he does stay in the car, then.
- That's probably a good idea.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah! God, he's a terror, hey? Yes.
He's my little terror.
[TEARFULLY.]
I'm so happy to have him back.
[SNIFFLES.]
Oh, Carol! Hey, that's so great.
Hey, that's wonderful.
- You've got him back! - Yeah.
It's just so great you've got him back after everything.
That's enough.
I got I gotta do some stuff.
I might make a cuppa.
- I don't want one.
- APRIL: All right! This is even better.
Yes! It's a much better blend.
- What have you done? - I just got a different bean.
- From where? - From evidence.
- From the evidence room? - Yeah, nicked it from evidence.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- From this operation? Yes, it's the same beans that had the drugs in them.
They left a couple of bags behind, so [CLICKS TONGUE.]
- It's really good.
- Mm-hm.
Oh, that is an interesting interesting fact.
What's that? That by the year 2050, in the UK there will be no one called Gary.
See, no one's been christened there, christened "Gary", since 1992 so by the year 2050, the breed of Garys will be extinct.
Isn't that amazing? Yeah, so that's it? There's no Garys by By 2050.
That won't be a great loss, will it? I mean, it's Gary.
It's like Gary.
That was my dad's name.
And it's Lachy's middle name.
Oh, sorry, Carol.
I didn't know that.
No, no.
You're fine.
I didn't know that, Carol.
How am I CAROL: I'm sure there'll still be Aprils.
APRIL: Okay.
And Mays.
Junes.
Oh, mate, look.
I I've got something to tell ya.
- It sounds serious.
- Yeah.
Should I sit down for this? - You better take a seat.
- All right.
Go.
- Stokes, what is it? - I've just I've gotta get this off my chest, gotta unburden myself.
- Mate, what's wrong? - Well You can tell me anything.
You know how Wendy and I We've been trying to get pregnant.
- Yeah.
- To cure her depression.
- Right.
- Well, she's, um You know her ex-husband, the pilot? - The dead husband.
Yep.
- Yeah.
Very handsome man.
He, um We've been using, uh We've been using cups of the dead husband's semen to to try to get her pregnant.
Oh, mate.
So your boys aren't swimming? Oh, no, they're swimming.
Yeah.
Like world-class athletes, you know? High divers.
Leapin' from the pond.
- Hang on, hang on, hang on.
- Yeah? This guy died, what? - Eight years ago? - Yeah, yeah.
How is his sperm still in this world? Well, it's the pilot semen bank.
- Mmm? - You heard of that? - No.
- Really? I thought everyone knew about it.
- It's a bank of pilot semen.
- Okay.
Yeah, 'cause, you know, pilots in the cockpit, they're The radiation in the cockpit can affect their their boys.
They don't swim as well.
So they make them, uh they make them store their semen and they freeze it at the pilot semen bank.
So we've been going along and, um, making withdrawals from the pilot semen bank.
- Okay.
- Mm-hm.
And you [STAMMERS.]
Why? I mean, you'd be Why? - I'm doing this for her, right? - Right.
Because she loved him and they were happier days.
So I just figure that if if she can have a small Charles running around That's okay with you, to have a small Charles running around? Well, I'm hoping it'll be his head on my body, you know It'll probably be his head on his body unless you're mixing your boys with his boys.
- Well, that's an option.
- I don't think it is an option.
What would happen there? Probably a horrific sperm milkshake would be the outcome there and I don't think anyone wants to see that.
No, that sounds messy.
Listen, I I know she has a real thing for this ex-husband.
- Almost as much as you do.
- He was a handsome man! Listen, Stokes.
As your best friend, it's important that I tell you giving another man's semen to your wife when you have semen is not an appropriate gift.
Hmm? And I feel I can tell you that because I have some insight into you and I think your sperm's good enough.
I think it's more than good enough, mate.
Look at yourself! Look at You're a cop.
You're a a strapping, you know, wise, you know You've got all your facilities, mostly.
- Mmm.
- Um Mate, you're about to make one of the biggest drug busts in the history of this country, you know? When the headlines come out tomorrow, 'Top Cop in Drug Bust', they're gonna be lining up around the block to get some of your boys.
You've got liquid gold running through your nuts there.
Just to get a droplet of your semen is like manna from heaven.
She should be so lucky to get a cup of your semen! Mate, what you've got in your pants there you could float on the stock exchange.
- Ohh - You are liquid gold nuts.
Gold Nuts, that's what I'm gonna call you from now on because they're so fuckin' valuable, all right? I don't wanna hear any more talk about this dead husband.
I wanna hear about you and your semen.
- That's all I wanna hear about.
- All right.
- Let's do it.
Ooh! Whoa! - Whoo! Yeah! - Shall we have another coffee? - Yeah, yeah.
WOMAN ON RADIO: Sources are reporting unusual movement on the streets.
We anticipate contact to be made with the warehouse before dawn.
This could be it, guys.
To tell you the truth, Jim, I'm a bit scared.
- Why, mate? - I'm a bit nervous.
- Why, mate? - I'm a bit excited.
Yeah.
But I'm also a bit broke, mate.
Um, it's gonna take a while to sell the house.
I mean, we can take the Land Cruiser.
That's no problem.
Oh, Brucey, don't worry.
I'll spot you some cash.
I got I got I reckon 60 to 80 grand up in the paddock.
- [CLAPS.]
- Don't worry.
It's all squirrelled away.
I've been saving.
So you got it up there in a safe all sweet? No, it's up in the paddock bank in the holes.
- The hole technique.
- What? What do you mean? I've dug holes.
I buried it.
- Sweet, mate.
- Yeah.
So little markers, little private little markers so you know exactly where everything is, all good? No, no.
I mean, even I don't know where most of it is.
I know where some of it is, but most of it, I've got absolutely no idea.
Just dig holes in the dark and leave it.
Remember when I had that problem with impulse buying? Remember when I first discovered eBay? Yeah, yeah, I know.
You were mad on that.
- Yeah.
- The jet ski.
- The jet ski.
- Jet skis.
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- No, fair enough.
Two weeks ago I was watching, uh, a fishing show and I'm thinking, "I wanna start up a tropical fish tank.
" So I'm doing a bit of research and online I find a 5,000-litre fish tank.
It's clad with Italian terrazzo marble.
It's got high-density fluorescent lights.
It's got an incredibly extensive double filtration system.
And I'm picturing it, a lush, tropical, undersea garden, dozens of small reef sharks, tetra neons, baby snapper, sitting there at the end of my bed.
- Oh, shit! - Like a love-making machine! - Beautiful.
- So I hop in the car.
- I'm driving up to my paddock.
- Yep.
Four hours, I'm just at the wheel thinking, "Tropical fish.
" - Nothin' but fish.
- "Aquarium.
Aquarium.
Aquarium.
" It's like a white line fever.
I get to the paddock and I'm diggin' my holes and I'm thinking seahorses, I'm thinking crabs, I'm thinking octopuses.
- Oh, my mind's just goin' crazy! - Yeah.
- Then I get to the 28th hole.
- Yeah.
And then it hits me, I fuckin' hate fish.
And that's the beauty of holes.
It takes the impulse out of impulse buying.
I tossed down that shovel, drove home.
I've saved myself $25,000! Mate, that's all well and good, but we really need this money.
Nah.
We THINK we need this money.
You wait till you're in your 30th hole.
See how you feel then.
I just got a text from Phil.
Phil? Ex? Your ex Phil? Ex-fiancé? That's right.
Basically he says What did he say? He said, "I have made a huge mistake," and, "Can we try again?" or something.
And I just I don't know what - He wants to get back together? - I don't think I can go back.
- No? - Nup.
It was toxic.
- It was abusive.
- Oh, that's awful! It was best I got out, I reckon.
- Yeah! - 'Cause I'd just hit him.
I would just punch him You'd punch him? - Yeah.
- And what? 'Cause he'd Would he punch you? No, no, no, no, no.
Um No, he just brought out this violent side in me and I just can't be bothered with it, honestly.
It's just it's just not my best side and, um, we'd just fight about the same thing and it was The main fight we used to have was over hot sauce.
Hot sauce? Yeah, like, habanero or Tabasco or chipotle No, I know what hot sauce is.
Okay, well, um Yeah, he'd just leave it out and it says plain as day on the bottle, "Refrigerate after opening.
" He knew it bothered me.
I'd come home from work most days and it would be there on the table, you know what I mean? And it just it just really got to me and it just And one night I got home and there it was on the table and I just lost it, just laid into him.
Kicked him in the guts a couple of times.
Punched him across the face.
There was quite a bit of blood.
So after that he'd put the hot sauce away.
But the love was gone.
Something was broken.
I'm pretty sure you don't have to keep it in the fridge.
What? Hot sauce.
It's just a guideline.
- But it says it on the - "Best before.
" Oh, fuck, yeah, right.
"Uh, no, Detective Stokes and myself" "never thought about our own safety" You should drop your voice an octave.
It sounds more authoritarian.
[DEEPLY.]
"It was always the public safety" "that was our principal consideration.
" - 'Primary'.
- "Our primary concern.
" Ooh, "Of chief," "Of chief.
" "Of chief importance to us" 'Paramount'.
"Paramount concern.
" "Uh, the public's safety was of paramount concern to us.
" "No.
No further questions.
" "No further questions.
Thank you.
" - That's great.
- [GRINDER WHIRRS.]
- [DISTANT YELLING.]
- Shush, shush, shush! [GRINDER STOPS.]
- You hear something? - No.
- These vests are comfortable - [DISTANT YELLING.]
- Hang on.
- The old ones used to cut around the neck.
Nup, nothing.
- [GRINDER WHIRRS.]
- STOKES: Mmm! [DISTANT YELLING.]
- Shush.
Shush, shush! - [GRINDER STOPS.]
STOKES: What? - [GUNSHOTS.]
- That that was gunshots.
- STOKES: Where was that? - [GUNSHOT.]
- Where is it? - They haven't called through.
- What's going on? Fucking - [GUNSHOTS.]
- Jesus! - Why haven't they said anything? - [ALARM RINGS IN DISTANCE.]
- Is something happening? The radio's not working.
- It's not plugged in.
- Why? I've got the grinder plugged into the socket.
- Runs off the same voltage.
- [SIREN WAILS.]
You unplugged the radio? Put it back! - You fucking dick! - It's the same thing! - Jesus Christ! - Get off me! I can do it.
WOMAN: Copy that, Car 36.
The eastern perimeter is now secure We're missing it.
We're missing it, we're missing it! - All right! - Go, go, go.
Ow! Fuck.
- Give me your coffee.
- No.
Wait.
- Finish it first! - Arggh! Fuck! - STOKES: Don't worry.
- HENDY: Just go, just go! Go! - Stokes, come on! - Yeah, okay.
- You unplugged the radio?! - Well, just The grinder! HENDY: If we miss this if we miss this - [SIRENS WAIL.]
- Why don't you have pre-ground beans? They don't taste the same! You gotta have freshly ground.
[FUNKY ROCK MUSIC.]
MAN ON RADIO: The two suspects appear to have fled on foot.
Should we pursue them? CAROL: We got the big fish.
Leave 'em for next time.
HENDY: This is our fuckin' case.
All right, here we go.
- MAN: Stop running.
- STOKES: Watch out! HENDY: Whoa, whoa! Here we go.
Here we go! STOKES: Hands behind your back.
Go! - MAN 2: He's already dead.
- HENDY: He's dead.
- STOKES: All right, clear! - [WOMAN SCREAMS.]
- Watch it! - Stokes, Stokes, Stokes.
- HENDY: What can we do? - STOKES: Where's it at? - Where is it? - It's over.
It's over.
- Here we go! Suspect identified! - WOMAN: He's mine.
- Okay, okay.
Clear, clear, clear.
- Come on.
- Stokes, stay with me.
- Hey! Him! - Stokes, Stokes! - MAN 3: Where have you been? - Stokes, Stokes, Stokes! - Oof! - STOKES: Jesus, Rob! - Okay, Stokes, Stokes, Stokes? - [PEOPLE CHATTER.]
- [OFFICERS LAUGH.]
- MAN: Yeah, very good! - WOMAN: Yep, got it.
- MAN 2: Hey! - MAN 3: Yeah, all right, all right.
- Looks like we missed it.
- Looks like it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, it does.
- Why do you think? - I don't know.
- Maybe the the grinder - Maybe? Plugged into the radio didn't help.
- What are you doing? - [BREATHES HEAVILY.]
Hey, it's not You wanted a coff - Don't you point your gun at me! - You! - What's that? - Ssk! - Oh, snip? - That's it.
- Ohh.
- That's it.
What? - Pfft - Don't follow me.
- Hendy, don't.
- Don't look at me.
- Look away.
- Ugh! Don't follow me! I mean it! STOKES: Just Ohh.
You don't have to Jesus.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
Hendy! I need a lift home.
[JIMMY AND BRUCE SING.]
Now we're livin' here In our art cafe Livin' here in JIMMY: Behind you, behind you.
I've got an order up.
- BRUCE: Got it.
- Fig and ricotta tart on 16.
- And an almond milk latte.
- Absolutely.
Bring your card next time.
- Two for 7, lattes.
- No worries.
- Bernie! - Hi, mate.
- Piccolo latte.
- Please.
- How's Sam doing? - Really well.
- Good with the exams? - Yeah, great.
Smart kid.
Margaret's large charcoal nude out the back? - Yeah, she won't budge, mate.
- I know she won't.
I've taken $100, said we'd hold it till Thursday.
- Take it, take it.
- Janet.
How are you? - I'm already.
- How's Martin? Made a full recovery? You tell him Bruce and Jimmy said hello.
- I'll let him know.
- Thanks, babe.
Hey, listen, we gotta get another order in Ooh, la-la-la, la-la-la Ooh, la-la-la, la-la-la Ohh-ohh Livin' in an orphan way Livin' in an orphan way Livin' in an orphan way Livin' in an art cafe Livin' in an art cafe Livin' this kinda way