Peacemaker (2022) s01e06 Episode Script

1 Stop! I'm not gonna hurt you.
Harcourt, hand me my gun! - She knows? - She was walking around with Peacemaker's X-ray vision helmet on.
He's not gonna like that.
He's touchy about his helmets.
What the fuck? We need to talk.
I figured it out when a bomb exploded in Murn's face and he barely took any damage.
I already knew he had way more Butterfly knowledge than what was possible from our current investigations.
I confronted him.
He came clean.
My people came to Earth because our planet was dying.
Your people? The Butterflies? The one in Goff, she's our leader.
- "She"? - Yes.
- Why "She"? - Well, she had a vagina.
Aliens got vaginas? What was her real name? Unlike humans, we don't name our genitalia.
No.
The one in Goff.
What was her real name? - You're interrogating me? - I guess.
You can't pronounce it with a human tongue.
I suppose it'd be something like "Eek Stack Ik Ik".
- Eek Stack Ik Ik? - Yes.
This shit is getting goofy.
We liked it here.
We were gonna live out our lives.
But then Goff and the others started planning.
- For what? - How to dominate your world.
I was the sole dissenter.
They said I was oversensitive.
You're oversensitive? That's when they started leeching.
Using humans in positions of power as hosts.
- You took over someone? - Yes.
Yeah, you killed someone, whoever Murn really was! I needed to stop them! So I inhabited the worst person I could find.
This man, Leota, he's he's a murderer.
But still, I know his thoughts.
He's Even he could have changed.
I know that.
I took that from him.
I took his freedom and his face.
And every day, I dread waking up to his memories.
- Does Economos know? - He knows.
But he sticks his fingers in his ears every time it comes up.
He doesn't want Waller knowing he's keeping something from her.
She doesn't know? - No.
And you can't tell her.
- Why? I told you a long time ago you can't trust Waller.
We can't risk anything going wrong.
We have to stop them.
Now that we attacked the bottling company, they'll know we're on their trail.
And we need to be sure they don't move the cow - before we find it.
- The cow? - Yes.
- What cow? You forgot to tell her about the cow.
Do ya really wanna do ya really wanna taste it? There's a - Get it on - Get on top Make a move extreme - Make a pose - Shortcut to your dreams I float straight to the stars on that flying thing - Getting high - Getting brave - Getting snow-blind, game - Set, go Pick a tune, chick harpoon in a world beyond Got a beat, got a heat on a phony string - Tear your world apart - Once the magic starts Do ya really wanna do ya really wanna taste it? What's going up must come down Do ya really wanna do ya really wanna taste it? Baby, I'm losing ground Blind to what you'll soon become The mirror lies the whole world's wrong - But you - Dancing with blinkers on Throw your dog the invisible bone Do ya really wanna do ya really wanna taste it? What's going up must come down Do ya really wanna do ya really wanna taste it? Baby, I'm losing ground Blind to what you'll soon become The mirror lies the whole world's wrong - But you - Dancing with blinkers on Throw your dog the invisible bone Yeah? What? You got something to say? Okay? Good.
All right, kids.
And that's how I defeated Kite Man, one of the world's most dangerous villains, with only my two fists, my Desert Eagle, and two rocket launchers.
Any questions? Uh Yeah.
Kid with the sad eyes.
You said the Blackheart Ruby weighed 30 pounds.
Yes.
And Kite Man was riding a kite? - That's right.
- Wouldn't he have crashed anyway due to gravity? No.
Yeah, chubster.
Do you have a coterie of supervillains? No.
Any more questions? Yeah, uh, gender-swapped Alfred E.
Neuman.
- Have you ever met the Flash? - Yeah, I have met the Flash.
Like everybody else who's ever met him, I thought he was an unbearable d-bag.
What about Wonder Woman? What about raising your hand? Urkel.
- Have you met Wonder Woman? - I've never met her, but she did spent an entire party eye-effing me - from across the room.
- Sick! Dude.
Dude, I said, "Effing".
Any more questions? - Yeah, Canadian tuxedo.
- Do you have a pet? I do have a pet.
That's a great question.
I have a pet named Eagly, he's an eagle.
Yeah, Rubik's Cube World Champion 2025? Why is your pet's name so unoriginal? Why are you my least favorite kid in this class? Because I can see right through you, and I think you're a loser.
- Loser! - Anyb - Loser! - Anybody else? - Yeah, Jamil's kid.
- Do you have an origin story? What the fuck? You killed him.
Not in the traditional sense.
Any, uh Any more questions? - Skinny arms! - Did you know a Becky Coolidge? - Becky Coolidge? - That's my mom.
She used to bartend at the Starlight Lounge.
Becky Coolidge! Yeah, that's right! I haven't seen her in, like, ten years.
I think you might be my real dad.
- What? - Okay, guys! I think Mr.
Peacemaker has to go! What a great show-and-tell, huh? Thank you, Adiva, for bringing your uncle, Peacemaker.
Hey! All right! Yeah! Yeah! I appreciate you doing this, man.
No problem.
This little Garcia kid last week brings her uncle.
Guy's a veterinarian, he's got like a sick coati.
- Uh A coyote.
- A coati.
It's like a South American raccoon, they're adorable.
Motherfucking kids couldn't get enough.
My kid comes home, she's crying her eyes out, because we got no relatives worth shit, definitely none with dying coati.
I said, "Baby, don't you worry".
"Daddy knows a superhero!" And this superhero, before he left the hospital, he promised me he'd always be there for me, no matter what I needed.
I never said anything like that, but okay.
As long as we make those other kids feel like shit, right? That's all that matters! Sure.
Okay.
There you go.
See you soon, bitch.
Or as they say it in your language, "ching chong chickety chopsticks".
I think your Google translation's off, Auggie.
That means, "My haircut looks like a donkey took a shit on my head".
See ya.
Wouldn't want to be ya.
"Wouldn't want to be ya"? Are you fucking kidding me? I pretty much nailed him there.
Not sure you needed to add the - I know, I fucked it up.
- Detective Song! What in the Sam Hill's happening here? Captain, last night, I took all the evidence - to a judge - You took what to what? and I was issued an arrest warrant for Christopher Smith, our new key suspect in the murder of Annie Sturphausen.
We couldn't rightly have two people in jail for the same crime.
You have got no idea what you're fucking with here.
There's something wrong with that guy.
Get the troops together.
Let's go get Peacemaker.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
No, it's over.
Where to, boss? Well, I wanna go home, get a shower.
And maybe have a broad over to suck my dick.
And then I'm gonna do something I should have done a long time ago.
- What's that? - Kill my fucking son.
Damn right.
Good boy.
Good boy.
Okay, good.
Oh, such a good, handsome boy.
Getting hungry there, Goff? Hey, quit complaining, you goofus.
I could have fed you to Eagly.
You really go through this stuff, huh? I'll try to swipe some more.
You cool? How do you know you can trust him? I don't.
It's an educated guess.
Something in your gut? I don't trust my or anyone else's gut.
I trust logic.
And Murn's helped us way too much to be lying.
Adebayo knows Murn's a Butterfly.
La, la, la, la no, no, no, no I don't know what you're talking about I can't hear a thing I don't hear you I don't hear you So, he literally puts his fingers in his ears.
Yeah.
- Whoa.
- You have something? Yeah, security camera footage from the bottling plant.
Every three days, there was a delivery of one of these giant tanks.
It's gotta be the raw amber fluid that they're processing, right? Yeah.
But we've gotta figure out where it's coming from for it to help us.
Let me check something out.
We're gonna approach with caution, surround the trailer, and enter easy.
Peacemaker is a trained killer.
Do not hesitate to shoot him if he shows resistance.
Come in, Adrian! How did you know it was me? You knock in a very annoying way.
Oh, sorry.
Dude, you still have that thing? Yeah.
He tried to kill us and he cut off half my toe.
Yeah.
Sometimes I just think I'm insecure in my masculinity so I'm making up for it by having a dangerous pet.
You know, like one of those knuckle-dicks in Georgia with a tiger on a leash.
Dude, my advice? Cut it out with the introspection.
The mind is a den of scorpions better left running from, not towards.
What is Goff doing? What the fuck? Let's go! Move out! - What? - I think we got a problem.
Okay, Goff.
One tap is "yes".
Two taps is "no".
Do you understand? Okay, Goff is that a peace sign? Ooh.
Goff, what's your favorite color? Dude, it's it's yes-or-no questions, I just said it.
Right.
Okay, yeah.
Uh Goff, is your favorite color teal? - Bro, what the fuck? - What? I'm gonna go through all the colors, and then eventually, we'll find out which one he likes best.
Yeah, and why would you give a fuck what his favorite color is, - and why are you starting with teal? - You don't think it's interesting that a praying mantis thing has a favorite color and it might unexpectedly be teal? That is mildly interesting, but he just drew a peace sign on the jar.
- Don't we wanna see what's up with that? - Yes, we do.
Goff, why did you put a peace sign on the jar? Yes or no! It's yes or no! It's only fucking yes-or-no questions! - That's a lot of rules.
- Two fucking rules.
Two! One, yes or no.
Two, don't be a fucking moron.
How am I supposed to follow that second rule? Maybe by shutting the fuck up! Oh! Okay, I see.
I see how you are.
Your preferred conversation partners are Eagly and Goff! Neither of who are capable of speech! Try introspection on that, motherfucker! - Sorry.
- No, you're right, you know, I I do surround myself with things that don't talk back and maybe I just - You shouldn't blame yourself.
- Dude, fucking I'm talking! Listen! Listen! I'm getting this weird feeling that you're angry.
Goff, are the Butterflies here to eat our flesh like the aliens from Pitch Black? Goff, are you here to put babies in us like in Alien? Dude, you're upset about that? Well, how else I'm gonna experience motherhood? Hmm, I don't know.
Goff, are you here so we can help you get back home, like in E.
T.
? Are you here so you can play us a shitty song like in Close Encounters? - Goddammit, answer, man! - I'll go over there.
- You'll never make it in time.
- Have you tried Vigilante? Quick, what are some other movies? Uh The Three Amigos.
Un Chien Andalou.
Porky's.
Porky's II With aliens! Why would I want a list of random movies? Well, in case we wanted to watch a movie later! I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world Life in plas Who is this? Vigilante, have you seen Peacemaker? Vigilante? I I don't know that person.
That's, um Is that even a name? Um Sounds Italian.
I'm I'm I'm American, so, I can't - What's so urgent, Murn? - If you're at home, get the fuck out! The police are gonna be there any second with an arrest warrant.
Grab Goff! Sorry, buddy.
This is the Evergreen Police Department! Open the door and come out with your hands up now! This is the Evergreen Police Department! Open the door and come out with your hands up now! Listen up.
This is the Evergreen Police Department! Come out now, peacefully.
We have an arrest warrant for Christopher Smith! I repeat, come out now with your hands up.
I'm taping Goff to me so I have both hands free.
Whoo! Clear! God damn it.
Toss the place.
All units, suspect is gone.
Spread out and search the surrounding area.
Knock on all trailers and speak to the occupants regarding suspect's possible location.
What the hell? Okay.
Double-check outside Psst! Eagly.
Eagly.
E Eagly! Eagly.
Fitzgibbon, doesn't Smith have a pet eagle? That's the rumor.
I think I just saw one jump off the roof.
- What? - She's a cop.
She's a cock? She's a cop! We gotta get the fuck outta here.
Fitz, dispatch half our guys back into the woods.
I think they're somewhere back here.
You got it.
All right, listen up! All right.
Where's your car? - I Ubered.
- Why'd you Uber? Day off, I thought we'd get wasted! Get what? Oh, shit.
Stay where you are.
Don't mo Fuck.
They're here! - There they are! - Sophie! Through the trees! Through the trees! Right there, right there! Hey! Hey, I'm here.
Hey, hey.
What the hell happened? Peggy, get an ambulance! Shit.
Freeze! - I told you not to do that! - Look, at worst, he's paralyzed! Oh, shit! Stop or I'll Hey! Stop right there! Stop right there or I'll shoot! Oh, shit! Eagly is hardcore, man! Stop! Stop! There's a car for you over that hill.
- Take it and get out of here.
- Who are you? Do you wanna ask stupid questions or do you wanna live? Which one do you wanna do? - No, please.
- "No, please".
- Don't.
Please! - "Don't.
Don't".
- Why are you honking? - Shut up.
Hey, Soph? Soph? Oh, Jesus Christ.
You scared the shit out of me.
I think you had a seizure or something.
Fitzgibbon? Yeah.
Yeah, it's me.
You all right? Where are Peacemaker and the buffoon? Whoa.
Okay, you need to sit still until we get an ambulance here.
Soph! Hey, Soph! Soph! - What are you doing? - I'm calling Harcourt - No! - What the fuck, dude? No! No! Fuck, no! Fuck, nobody, nobody - They can track these things! - No, dude! No! Shit! Fuck! "You're welcome, Vigilante, for saving my life".
It was a secure phone! They can't fucking track it! Oh.
My bad, then.
Sorry, dude.
That was a pretty big fuck-up on my part.
Fuck, man! I had a fuck-ton of super cute pictures of Eagly on there, man! They're irreplaceable! Oh, fuck.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry, Eagly.
Wait.
What about the cloud? I don't know what the cloud is! The fucking cloud happened when I was in prison, okay? Everybody talks about this fucking cloud.
They might as well be talking about neuropsychology or fucking cricket or BLACKPINK songs! You're a little intense right now.
Like, I don't want to be uncool, but your face looks really weird when it goes into all those various angry positions.
It's like I'm looking at a Dracula.
Oh, fuck.
What the fuck are we caught up in, man? That guy just executed those dudes! I know.
How fucking cool was that? It wasn't cool at all.
Well, that's a little judgmental.
One of them was fucking unconscious, man! Dude! We're saving the world from a fucking alien invasion! It's everything we've ever wanted! It's not what I wanted! The bigger question is, what's going on with you? - Me? - We used to go out, kill bad guys.
Boom, boom, boom.
No problem.
We accidentally kill the wrong person? "Aw, shoot.
Bummer.
That stinks".
Then we move on! Now, suddenly, you've got this weird, new-age belief that all life is sacred! Dude, what are you doing? - Give me your phone.
- They could be here any minute.
You smashed mine, I'm using yours.
- Mine isn't secure! - I don't give a fuck! - How do you know my password? - I know my own birthday, dude.
- "Taylor Swift sexy butt?" - What? Your last search.
Oh, no.
That's, um, just because I wanted to see some pictures of her sexy butt.
I was I was too late.
Oh, my God.
- What happened? - Uh I got here just as the just as the shooter was running away.
Peacemaker? LOCKE Oh, no, no.
No, It was a Caucasian man, about five-and-a-half-feet tall.
Red hair, striped shirt with a red tie.
Had on a black mask and, uh I think it was a fedora.
He just ran off saying "Robble robble!" Soph! Hey! "Robble robble".
Hey, hey, Soph! Hey, this is gonna sound weird, but I think Locke was just describing the fucking Hamburglar.
Striped shirt, red tie, fedora, black mask? That's the Hamburglar.
- McDonald's mascot? - Yeah.
It wasn't him.
Yeah, I know it wasn't the Hamburglar! But it's like, either that guy is so fucking stupid and can't think of a better lie, or he's fucking with us.
I think Locke's working with them.
Them? Who? Hey, Soph, you need to lie down.
You had a concussion.
I'm fine, human.
What? Hey! Hey, where are you going? I need to call some friends.
Friends? Hey, what friends? Soph! Captain! Hey.
Found a shitload of weapons in there.
And this.
I just glanced at it.
There's some real crazy shit in there.
All right, Officer Johnson.
I'll put that into evidence.
See what else you can find.
Look around the periphery of the trailer.
- Um - Periphery of the trailer.
- Periphery.
- Yeah, yeah.
Uh-huh, okay, all right.
Okay, I got it.
They're gonna be here any minute.
Does anyone know about Peacemaker having a diary? - What? - Oh, fuck.
What? Nothing.
My man on the inside has it, so hopefully, that's the last we hear of it.
Hey! You have a diary? - No.
- They found one in your trailer.
Bullshit.
I got a notepad, but I barely ever use it.
But fuck that, we got a bit of an issue.
- We know.
You're a wanted man.
- Not that.
Goff got out.
- Goff? - Yeah, we kept Goff.
You kept Goff? Because Peacemaker has masculinity issues.
It's like a knuckle-dick's tiger.
I didn't trust you guys.
And I kept him because I wanted answers.
And I knew he wasn't gonna get out.
But then he got out and took over an Oriental woman.
- Asian.
- I'm pretty sure she was Oriental.
You're not supposed to say Oriental anymore, just Asian.
Why? Nobody knows why, it's just bad! They do know why, asshat.
Oriental insinuates "other", so some people consider it derogatory.
It's kinda like I need a fucking snowflake scorecard, but fine! Oh, the agony the straight, white dude goes through, imprisoned in a world where they suffer the unspeakable horror of occasionally having to substitute one word for another.
I said fine! And you know what? Maybe I find "asshat" derogatory.
- Can you stop? - Now, the Asian cop is Goff.
Insofar as how much he likes teal, though, we're clueless.
God damn it, Peacemaker.
Dude, don't you talk to me after you sent Pennywise-the-fucking-Clown out to help us.
- Locke? - That psychopath murdered three cops and one was unconscious when he did it.
Hey, I, uh, found something.
I think I know where the raw amber fluid is coming from.
- Soph, what's going on? - Nothing.
I've got paramedics coming to check you out.
They're on the way.
There's no need and no time for that.
Soph, those aren't even words.
You've had a brain injury.
- It It - I'm fine.
I I do feel that she was fond of you.
- Who? - Sophie.
You? Sure.
But in the end, this is better for everyone.
What is? Just enjoy the moment.
People don't realize that smiling is different on every single head.
Every time, you have to relearn it.
This is the truck that Adebayo found - visiting every three days.
- Right.
I was able to access all the security camera footage and highway cam footage in the area.
And by stepping backwards, find out the route of the truck.
It's consistent.
Same truck, same path, every few days.
And I was able to follow it back all the way to the start.
It's listed as Coverdale Ranch.
A ranch? I'm guessing this barn is where the amber fluid is coming from.
That barn is not big enough to produce enough to fill those vats every day.
Butterflies burrow.
You saw it below the Goff residence.
And at Glan Tai, where I kicked that gorilla's ass and saved all your lives.
You are really stretching out your 15 minutes.
The source is underground.
We destroy their food source, we destroy the Butterflies.
What? How do we know that? What the fuck is going on? There's something weird going on, you think me and Vigilante are too stupid to notice! Hey, everyone, look! Which one's me and which one's Eagly? Okay, you're half-right.
But you score 50 percent on a test at school, what do you get? A "D".
- An "F".
- An "F".
"F".
All right - School wasn't my bag.
- It's for dorks.
We have reason to believe that the Butterflies have a cow.
- A cow? - A large animal that they milk for amber goo.
and there's only one on the planet.
And without it, they'll die.
When were you gonna give me that bit of information? What is going on? Oh, and I'm the asshole here for actually believing we're a fucking team! Everyone, get done what you need to get done.
We leave at the break of dawn for Coverdale Ranch to kill the cow.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't be sorry, Lee.
You were right.
I just got too wrapped up in some dumb shit.
And I just wanna be home and be with you.
Aw, baby.
And I don't know what's right or wrong anymore.
And my mom, she made me do this thing.
What thing? I can't say, but I I betrayed this big goof who trusts me, and I feel so bad.
And it's killing me.
And I think it's been stopped, but I can't believe what I did.
And I know stuff that my mom doesn't know.
And if I tell her, then I betray them, and if I don't tell her, then I betray her.
And I'm just not made for this shit.
So just leave.
You don't owe those people.
And you don't owe your mother either.
If that's not where you belong, then it's not where you belong.
But the bills We'll figure out some other way.
I'll borrow some from my sister.
Let's go back to Gotham.
It's okay.
Hey, did Adebayo leave? I think she went home, yeah.
Is she avoiding me or something? - Why would she be avoiding you? - I don't know.
- Here.
- What is it? It's a P90.
I put a dove of peace on it for you.
Ah, it's facing the wrong way.
Tail should be on the right.
It's super nice, though.
Thank you.
Sure.
I don't think I really care about the dove of peace, I just think I said that 'cause I don't wanna kill people anymore.
No offense, but we could be taking on dozens of those things tomorrow.
I'm not sure right now is the best time for you to go all Mahatma on us.
No, I'm fine killing aliens.
Especially the bug ones.
Listen, I know when we first met, I said I thought you were a total piece of shit but - I don't think that anymore.
- No? Eighty-five percent a piece of shit maybe.
But the rest of you is Night, Chris.
Good night um Emilia.
Good night, Emilia.
Dude, I thought you said you didn't write a diary.
Among many items found in the search of Christopher Smith's home was a diary, written by the suspect.
Now the diary maintains that the world is inhabited by aliens posing as human beings.
And it is the suspect's job to find and kill them.
The diary links Smith not only to the murder of Annie Sturphausen but directly to the murders of Senator Royland Goff and his family, and potentially 33 victims at the Glan Tai Bottling Plant massacre.
Rest assured that every police station across the country has one mandate this morning.
Find and stop the Peacemaker by whatever means necessary.
What the fuck? Sad.
Look sad.
Put some fucking ass.
Come on.
Look sad.
Does this look sad? Hey! Okay.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Look at you.