Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero (2014) s01e06 Episode Script
Chicken or Fish?
Wherever good is threatened, heroes rise to the challenge and always save the day! Except when they don't.
And that's when I go to work.
I zap in two dimensions every day It's my job to be a hero, save the world And make things right Kung fu moles, rescue trolls Punch a zombie! score a goal! I'm a robot, I'm a rabbit, I'm a knight Stretching, swinging, sliding by Kicking monsters in the eye Boone and Sashi always sticking by my side No villain's gonna stop Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero Ah, refreshing.
The perfectly balanced Boone lunch: milk for healthy teeth and bones, carrots for my peepers, - fish, to make my brain smart.
- How does fish make you smart? I don't know.
I haven't eaten it yet.
What'd you get? Looks like Uncle Chuck's deconstructed hamburger: mystery meat, tomato soup instead of ketchup and a handful of flour for the bun.
Ooh.
Soshi got cake.
Is it your birthday? My birthday is on a need-to-know basis and you do not need to know.
My brother's on the Horticulture Team.
He made All-City Green Thumb, so my parents baked him a cake.
It's all yours.
If I eat sugar I get jumpy.
I've got spirit, yes I do, I've got spirit, how about you? - Uh, that was our mascot.
- We don't know who's in the costume.
It's Terry.
This never happened.
Phyllis, you smell great.
Question: Should we be worried that Soshi can't turn off the whole sidekick thing? - How do you mean? - Hiyah! - Okay, let's do this.
- Ah Nice.
Some kind of super high-tech man cave.
What are we watching? The endless abyss of space, admiral.
We're on a spaceship? Yes! We're in space! We're in space! And I'm the admiral, 'cause we're in space.
Admiral, we've been in space for 3 years straight.
And shame on you for taking it for granted.
Whoa.
Cool man cave.
Flurgleburgle.
Flurgleburgle.
- Alien threat.
I got this.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just put down the laser blaster.
Laser blaster? What is this 2715? - Uh, what is that? - Scientifically speaking, it's like a weird, ugly dog that says, "flurgleburgle.
" Check this out.
Roll over, Flurgle.
Flurgleburgle.
Ew.
You want a treat? - Roll over, Flurgle.
- Flurgleburgle.
Aww.
Admiral, we should focus on our mission.
Our ship is out of fuel crystals.
Our only hope is to go to the planet below and collect more crystals, or else the ship will burn up in the atmosphere.
How much time do we have? - Five seconds.
- What? Four.
Three.
- This is it.
- Two.
- Hold on.
- One.
Your popcorn, admiral.
Thank you, crew member.
Light butter? What's the point? Flurgleburgle.
Get out of here, you weird little space pig.
Papa's got to go to work.
- I know, and don't call me space pig.
- Get it out of here.
- It's a free country, Sosh.
- Space is not a country.
Prepare to particalize.
Beat it.
Not cool, Sosh.
Lasers aren't for fooling around with.
Unless you're playing laser tag or giving a presentation.
Or you're watching a laser show at a concert.
You're lucky no one got hurt.
What? Flurgleburgle! Oh, this is going to be a flurgleburgle problem.
Oh, no.
You and the flurgle must have been - combined by the Particalizer.
- You think? Flurgleburgle! That feels amazing.
- Flurgle treat? - No, I don't want a Flurgleburgle! Okay, give me one.
Oh, I hate that that was delicious.
Flurgleburgle! Give me another one.
Maybe you should zhoop back to the ship.
Maybe you should zhoop back to the ship, Sosh.
You're the one who made our hero a man-space-dog-pig.
No one's zhooping back to the flurgleburgle, flurgleburgle flurgleburgle We can figure this Oh, boy! That treat moved through me like lightning.
Uh, where can I go, where can I go? Nobody look at me! Uhh! This is so embarrassing.
Penn Zero seems to be a man-space-dog-pig whose only power is making dirt in bushes.
- Winning will be easy.
- How great is this prehensile nose, huh? I finally get to find out what my ear smells like.
Wait, wait.
No, that's not ear.
What does that smell like to you? Come here.
I don't have no time to smell your ear.
Everyone, remain calm.
The admiral is doing everything he can to save us.
Space bug, space bug, space bug! Flurgleburgle! Watch this.
Hey, watch me, you're not watching.
- You're not watching.
- No, I'm watching, buddy.
You almost caught him that time.
Don't encourage him.
We need to find those crystals.
Look who made a new fwend.
Yes, he did.
Stop fooling around, Boone.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
This is your fault.
You did this to Penn and I will not let you take away the only thing that gives him joy.
That bug is bugging this mission.
Oh, no.
Now look what you did.
- More bugs.
- No! Stay.
Sorry, bud, I didn't want to have to do this, but it's for your own good.
This collar looks ridiculous.
Flurgle-burgle.
Flurgleburgle! Flurgleburgle.
Penn's your responsibility too.
Take him for a walk.
He's got too much energy.
No.
We have work to do.
Space bugs, space bugs, space bugs! Am I the only one who cares about the mission? How are we gonna win the mission without our hero? I don't know.
Well, well, well.
Love that funky beat you're laying down.
Yet another entrance ruined.
It was a slow clap to highlight their failure.
Hang on.
Let me write this down.
- Who's got a pen? - Can we just get them? In minutes your ship will lose power, crash into the atmosphere and burn up.
Thought you'd enjoy a front row seat.
Uh, why are there so many chairs? You can't have a front row seat without a back row.
That's just basic words.
The boy's right.
All we need are two chairs.
Two chairs is not a row.
Two chairs is just two chairs.
You guys need a minute? Just watch your defeat, boy.
- Two chairs is a row.
- A sad row.
_ __ Panic, panic, panic.
You were right before.
This is my fault.
I know.
- But everyone screws up sometimes.
- Not me.
Doing this job right, that's my thing.
It's my reward.
- I don't get a congratulations cake.
- Why not? Your parents must be super proud of you.
They think I work at Fishstick on a Stick.
They don't know your job is saving the world? Like every day? Like all the time? You and Penn have part-time hero parents.
Not me.
Phyllis said it's better if they don't know.
They can't be proud of what they don't know, so I have to be proud of myself.
And today I'm not.
That is so tragic.
All she wanted was cake.
Did you see that? Yeah, Larry's got a pretty powerful leg for being so short.
No, there are fuel crystals in the wall.
We can still save the day! Actually, no.
You've discovered the crystals too late.
Penn is gone, the ship's about to burn up.
Also, this.
- Any last words? - Just two.
Flurgle, come! Flurgleburgle! Flurgleburgle! Nowhere to fly now.
Flurgle, come! Flurgle, come! - That was pointless - Flurgle, come.
- That was pointless - Flurgle, come.
That was pointless.
I guess we know now why you're just a sidekick.
Flurgleburgle! Oh, come on.
Not the leg chains, too.
Grab the crystals.
Off.
Down.
- Bad hero.
- Zhoop us, now.
Am I doing it right? _ __ You saved us, admiral.
Thank you.
You're welcome, but the lieutenant was the real hero today.
Now what's it gonna take to get some popcorn with extra butter around here? Oh, Soshi's home.
- Hi, sweetie.
How was work? - Good.
Must have been better than good if your friends went to all that trouble.
- So what do you think? - I love it.
Hel Hel Hang on, Sosh, or we're gonna get the biggest swirlie in history! Today we're doing something different.
I am showing you mission you just completed to teach you very important lesson.
Oh, cool, yeah, that sounds great.
But, um, I have an important report due tomorrow, so I got to yeah.
- This report, she is about what? - Science and life, you know, home-ec Fine.
My science-life-home-ec report can wait.
Uh, Miss Phyllis, my mom is making her famous meatloaf tonight.
It's made the cover of "Beef World Mag" three times.
Your loaf of meat will wait.
We watch from start.
All right-y, Sosh, check the specs.
Our mission is to return the sacred idol to the temple by sundown, or the jungle and everyone in it will be swallowed into the earth.
Let me see here.
All right, idol, let's get down to business.
Looks like a roll of toilet paper.
Hope you don't actually get down to "business.
" Boone, please.
It does not look like toilet paper.
Okay, Sashi was wrong.
It did look like toilet paper.
No need to punish all of us.
I will not be thrown under the bus, - but I will ride the bus home.
- Oh, Sosh's leaving, well, I-I'm gonna go off to my doctor's appointment, you know, with my, with my doctor medicine guy.
And I can still make the meatloaf carving ceremony, in time to sing the meatloaf anthem.
There is no escape.
Keep it up and I make you watch 7-hour Director's Cut.
What's with all the pipes and gross bathtubs? I guess they worship plumbing here or something? Of course.
Their idol's a Golden Roll of Toilet Paper.
I'll get top dollar for it on the bathroom-themed black market.
- Throw me the idol, I throw you the whip.
- Uh, why would I do that? It's a quality whip.
Trust me, you'll love this whip.
I've seen better whips.
Okay, we'll see if you've tasted better whips.
Are you sure that whip's long enough to reach them? - Larry.
- I'm just saying, we could've gotten the 16-footer.
Their whip doesn't even reach 16 feet.
Run for it.
Ah! Eh! Go, come on.
Move it! Run, run, run, run, run, run, run.
Hang on! It's hard to run in flip-flops.
Whoa.
Where are my manners.
Larry, you go first.
You, sir, are a first-class gentleman.
Whoa! It was Boone's fault.
He should have worn shoes.
You know flip-flops are my thang.
Back to show.
Oof! Penn, you didn't tie your man purse shut.
Thanks for the delivery.
I'd tip you, but I'm fresh out of small bills.
- I've got some ones.
- Grr, just drive, Larry.
Ha! Now onto the temple with no more unforeseen dangers.
Whoa! Penn's fault.
We have company.
Hey, Penn, think fast.
- Should've tied your man purse shut.
- Guys, look! Oh, no.
Oh, no.
No! How is it you never get hurt? Give me that sacred TP.
No! That worked out well.
Oh! No! Don't worry, I'm okay! - Rippen's soft body broke my fall.
- Can't some things be private? Wait, where's the idol? - Where's Boone? - Yeah, but where's the idol? Huh, must've forgotten to shut my man purse again.
It's the It's the little lace, it's just Guys? If you're looking for me, I'm in what looks like a toilet museum.
I have no idea what the suggested donation is.
Whoa.
I'd hate to see the butt this was made for.
I wonder if it works.
Beware the flush Beware the flush.
What could that possibly mean? I said, "Beware the flush.
" And I'm speaking directly to you, Boone, who was about to flush it.
I'm saying, don't flush it.
I'm being very clear about this.
Don't flush it.
How can that be his scream? Sashi's fault.
- Penn's fault.
- Boone's fault.
Run! The temple's up there.
Great work but we don't have the idol.
No! So does anyone know yet why you are here? Okay, I dropped the idol three times.
I'm supposed to lead the team.
I take full responsibility.
Wrong.
You did lead team.
Watch.
Guys, I have a theory and a gross and crazy solution.
Penn, no! Give us back our friend! Why - Penn? - No wonder this guy was so mad.
The idol was clogging him.
But you just opened your eyes in toilet water.
- So that makes you disgusting.
- Guys, we'll never make it in time.
Yes, we will because this potty is trained.
To the Temple! Hiyah! Thanks, Flushy.
Ha! Boone, leave the flip-flop.
I'm not going into a giant bathroom with bare feet.
Okay, it's idol time.
- Penn! You're putting it in wrong.
- No, no, no.
It goes with the paper coming from the bottom.
That's how an inconsiderate person would do it.
No, no.
Out the bottom, for your bottom.
That's the saying.
No one says that! You want the paper coming over the top.
Who cares? Everyone should care about bathroom etiquette! The sun's almost down.
Just do it, stupids! Thanks for the TP.
You might want to light a candle.
Okay, so what did we do wrong? Nothing.
This is best mission ever.
You learned lesson, help toilet.
Very satisfying.
Phyllis is very proud.
Wow.
These are heavy.
What, are they, real gold? Of course.
Phyllis is not cheap.
Thank you.
I'll think of you while I melt this - down and sell it for cash.
- Raise your juice boxes.
Hurray for Phyllis! Hold that thought.
Watch.
While you watch film, I disguise myself as Boone and sneak out.
Oh, Boone, where have you been? I was like doing totally American boy things.
I eat meatloaf, then come back here.
Lower your juice boxes.
Down with Phyllis! Well, Phyllis, that's a lot of trouble to go to for some meatloaf.
It's very good meatloaf.
And that's when I go to work.
I zap in two dimensions every day It's my job to be a hero, save the world And make things right Kung fu moles, rescue trolls Punch a zombie! score a goal! I'm a robot, I'm a rabbit, I'm a knight Stretching, swinging, sliding by Kicking monsters in the eye Boone and Sashi always sticking by my side No villain's gonna stop Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero Ah, refreshing.
The perfectly balanced Boone lunch: milk for healthy teeth and bones, carrots for my peepers, - fish, to make my brain smart.
- How does fish make you smart? I don't know.
I haven't eaten it yet.
What'd you get? Looks like Uncle Chuck's deconstructed hamburger: mystery meat, tomato soup instead of ketchup and a handful of flour for the bun.
Ooh.
Soshi got cake.
Is it your birthday? My birthday is on a need-to-know basis and you do not need to know.
My brother's on the Horticulture Team.
He made All-City Green Thumb, so my parents baked him a cake.
It's all yours.
If I eat sugar I get jumpy.
I've got spirit, yes I do, I've got spirit, how about you? - Uh, that was our mascot.
- We don't know who's in the costume.
It's Terry.
This never happened.
Phyllis, you smell great.
Question: Should we be worried that Soshi can't turn off the whole sidekick thing? - How do you mean? - Hiyah! - Okay, let's do this.
- Ah Nice.
Some kind of super high-tech man cave.
What are we watching? The endless abyss of space, admiral.
We're on a spaceship? Yes! We're in space! We're in space! And I'm the admiral, 'cause we're in space.
Admiral, we've been in space for 3 years straight.
And shame on you for taking it for granted.
Whoa.
Cool man cave.
Flurgleburgle.
Flurgleburgle.
- Alien threat.
I got this.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just put down the laser blaster.
Laser blaster? What is this 2715? - Uh, what is that? - Scientifically speaking, it's like a weird, ugly dog that says, "flurgleburgle.
" Check this out.
Roll over, Flurgle.
Flurgleburgle.
Ew.
You want a treat? - Roll over, Flurgle.
- Flurgleburgle.
Aww.
Admiral, we should focus on our mission.
Our ship is out of fuel crystals.
Our only hope is to go to the planet below and collect more crystals, or else the ship will burn up in the atmosphere.
How much time do we have? - Five seconds.
- What? Four.
Three.
- This is it.
- Two.
- Hold on.
- One.
Your popcorn, admiral.
Thank you, crew member.
Light butter? What's the point? Flurgleburgle.
Get out of here, you weird little space pig.
Papa's got to go to work.
- I know, and don't call me space pig.
- Get it out of here.
- It's a free country, Sosh.
- Space is not a country.
Prepare to particalize.
Beat it.
Not cool, Sosh.
Lasers aren't for fooling around with.
Unless you're playing laser tag or giving a presentation.
Or you're watching a laser show at a concert.
You're lucky no one got hurt.
What? Flurgleburgle! Oh, this is going to be a flurgleburgle problem.
Oh, no.
You and the flurgle must have been - combined by the Particalizer.
- You think? Flurgleburgle! That feels amazing.
- Flurgle treat? - No, I don't want a Flurgleburgle! Okay, give me one.
Oh, I hate that that was delicious.
Flurgleburgle! Give me another one.
Maybe you should zhoop back to the ship.
Maybe you should zhoop back to the ship, Sosh.
You're the one who made our hero a man-space-dog-pig.
No one's zhooping back to the flurgleburgle, flurgleburgle flurgleburgle We can figure this Oh, boy! That treat moved through me like lightning.
Uh, where can I go, where can I go? Nobody look at me! Uhh! This is so embarrassing.
Penn Zero seems to be a man-space-dog-pig whose only power is making dirt in bushes.
- Winning will be easy.
- How great is this prehensile nose, huh? I finally get to find out what my ear smells like.
Wait, wait.
No, that's not ear.
What does that smell like to you? Come here.
I don't have no time to smell your ear.
Everyone, remain calm.
The admiral is doing everything he can to save us.
Space bug, space bug, space bug! Flurgleburgle! Watch this.
Hey, watch me, you're not watching.
- You're not watching.
- No, I'm watching, buddy.
You almost caught him that time.
Don't encourage him.
We need to find those crystals.
Look who made a new fwend.
Yes, he did.
Stop fooling around, Boone.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
This is your fault.
You did this to Penn and I will not let you take away the only thing that gives him joy.
That bug is bugging this mission.
Oh, no.
Now look what you did.
- More bugs.
- No! Stay.
Sorry, bud, I didn't want to have to do this, but it's for your own good.
This collar looks ridiculous.
Flurgle-burgle.
Flurgleburgle! Flurgleburgle.
Penn's your responsibility too.
Take him for a walk.
He's got too much energy.
No.
We have work to do.
Space bugs, space bugs, space bugs! Am I the only one who cares about the mission? How are we gonna win the mission without our hero? I don't know.
Well, well, well.
Love that funky beat you're laying down.
Yet another entrance ruined.
It was a slow clap to highlight their failure.
Hang on.
Let me write this down.
- Who's got a pen? - Can we just get them? In minutes your ship will lose power, crash into the atmosphere and burn up.
Thought you'd enjoy a front row seat.
Uh, why are there so many chairs? You can't have a front row seat without a back row.
That's just basic words.
The boy's right.
All we need are two chairs.
Two chairs is not a row.
Two chairs is just two chairs.
You guys need a minute? Just watch your defeat, boy.
- Two chairs is a row.
- A sad row.
_ __ Panic, panic, panic.
You were right before.
This is my fault.
I know.
- But everyone screws up sometimes.
- Not me.
Doing this job right, that's my thing.
It's my reward.
- I don't get a congratulations cake.
- Why not? Your parents must be super proud of you.
They think I work at Fishstick on a Stick.
They don't know your job is saving the world? Like every day? Like all the time? You and Penn have part-time hero parents.
Not me.
Phyllis said it's better if they don't know.
They can't be proud of what they don't know, so I have to be proud of myself.
And today I'm not.
That is so tragic.
All she wanted was cake.
Did you see that? Yeah, Larry's got a pretty powerful leg for being so short.
No, there are fuel crystals in the wall.
We can still save the day! Actually, no.
You've discovered the crystals too late.
Penn is gone, the ship's about to burn up.
Also, this.
- Any last words? - Just two.
Flurgle, come! Flurgleburgle! Flurgleburgle! Nowhere to fly now.
Flurgle, come! Flurgle, come! - That was pointless - Flurgle, come.
- That was pointless - Flurgle, come.
That was pointless.
I guess we know now why you're just a sidekick.
Flurgleburgle! Oh, come on.
Not the leg chains, too.
Grab the crystals.
Off.
Down.
- Bad hero.
- Zhoop us, now.
Am I doing it right? _ __ You saved us, admiral.
Thank you.
You're welcome, but the lieutenant was the real hero today.
Now what's it gonna take to get some popcorn with extra butter around here? Oh, Soshi's home.
- Hi, sweetie.
How was work? - Good.
Must have been better than good if your friends went to all that trouble.
- So what do you think? - I love it.
Hel Hel Hang on, Sosh, or we're gonna get the biggest swirlie in history! Today we're doing something different.
I am showing you mission you just completed to teach you very important lesson.
Oh, cool, yeah, that sounds great.
But, um, I have an important report due tomorrow, so I got to yeah.
- This report, she is about what? - Science and life, you know, home-ec Fine.
My science-life-home-ec report can wait.
Uh, Miss Phyllis, my mom is making her famous meatloaf tonight.
It's made the cover of "Beef World Mag" three times.
Your loaf of meat will wait.
We watch from start.
All right-y, Sosh, check the specs.
Our mission is to return the sacred idol to the temple by sundown, or the jungle and everyone in it will be swallowed into the earth.
Let me see here.
All right, idol, let's get down to business.
Looks like a roll of toilet paper.
Hope you don't actually get down to "business.
" Boone, please.
It does not look like toilet paper.
Okay, Sashi was wrong.
It did look like toilet paper.
No need to punish all of us.
I will not be thrown under the bus, - but I will ride the bus home.
- Oh, Sosh's leaving, well, I-I'm gonna go off to my doctor's appointment, you know, with my, with my doctor medicine guy.
And I can still make the meatloaf carving ceremony, in time to sing the meatloaf anthem.
There is no escape.
Keep it up and I make you watch 7-hour Director's Cut.
What's with all the pipes and gross bathtubs? I guess they worship plumbing here or something? Of course.
Their idol's a Golden Roll of Toilet Paper.
I'll get top dollar for it on the bathroom-themed black market.
- Throw me the idol, I throw you the whip.
- Uh, why would I do that? It's a quality whip.
Trust me, you'll love this whip.
I've seen better whips.
Okay, we'll see if you've tasted better whips.
Are you sure that whip's long enough to reach them? - Larry.
- I'm just saying, we could've gotten the 16-footer.
Their whip doesn't even reach 16 feet.
Run for it.
Ah! Eh! Go, come on.
Move it! Run, run, run, run, run, run, run.
Hang on! It's hard to run in flip-flops.
Whoa.
Where are my manners.
Larry, you go first.
You, sir, are a first-class gentleman.
Whoa! It was Boone's fault.
He should have worn shoes.
You know flip-flops are my thang.
Back to show.
Oof! Penn, you didn't tie your man purse shut.
Thanks for the delivery.
I'd tip you, but I'm fresh out of small bills.
- I've got some ones.
- Grr, just drive, Larry.
Ha! Now onto the temple with no more unforeseen dangers.
Whoa! Penn's fault.
We have company.
Hey, Penn, think fast.
- Should've tied your man purse shut.
- Guys, look! Oh, no.
Oh, no.
No! How is it you never get hurt? Give me that sacred TP.
No! That worked out well.
Oh! No! Don't worry, I'm okay! - Rippen's soft body broke my fall.
- Can't some things be private? Wait, where's the idol? - Where's Boone? - Yeah, but where's the idol? Huh, must've forgotten to shut my man purse again.
It's the It's the little lace, it's just Guys? If you're looking for me, I'm in what looks like a toilet museum.
I have no idea what the suggested donation is.
Whoa.
I'd hate to see the butt this was made for.
I wonder if it works.
Beware the flush Beware the flush.
What could that possibly mean? I said, "Beware the flush.
" And I'm speaking directly to you, Boone, who was about to flush it.
I'm saying, don't flush it.
I'm being very clear about this.
Don't flush it.
How can that be his scream? Sashi's fault.
- Penn's fault.
- Boone's fault.
Run! The temple's up there.
Great work but we don't have the idol.
No! So does anyone know yet why you are here? Okay, I dropped the idol three times.
I'm supposed to lead the team.
I take full responsibility.
Wrong.
You did lead team.
Watch.
Guys, I have a theory and a gross and crazy solution.
Penn, no! Give us back our friend! Why - Penn? - No wonder this guy was so mad.
The idol was clogging him.
But you just opened your eyes in toilet water.
- So that makes you disgusting.
- Guys, we'll never make it in time.
Yes, we will because this potty is trained.
To the Temple! Hiyah! Thanks, Flushy.
Ha! Boone, leave the flip-flop.
I'm not going into a giant bathroom with bare feet.
Okay, it's idol time.
- Penn! You're putting it in wrong.
- No, no, no.
It goes with the paper coming from the bottom.
That's how an inconsiderate person would do it.
No, no.
Out the bottom, for your bottom.
That's the saying.
No one says that! You want the paper coming over the top.
Who cares? Everyone should care about bathroom etiquette! The sun's almost down.
Just do it, stupids! Thanks for the TP.
You might want to light a candle.
Okay, so what did we do wrong? Nothing.
This is best mission ever.
You learned lesson, help toilet.
Very satisfying.
Phyllis is very proud.
Wow.
These are heavy.
What, are they, real gold? Of course.
Phyllis is not cheap.
Thank you.
I'll think of you while I melt this - down and sell it for cash.
- Raise your juice boxes.
Hurray for Phyllis! Hold that thought.
Watch.
While you watch film, I disguise myself as Boone and sneak out.
Oh, Boone, where have you been? I was like doing totally American boy things.
I eat meatloaf, then come back here.
Lower your juice boxes.
Down with Phyllis! Well, Phyllis, that's a lot of trouble to go to for some meatloaf.
It's very good meatloaf.