Perpetual Grace, LTD (2019) s01e06 Episode Script
When Doves Cry
1 Got a shoe box, Wesley.
I wonder if I can have a look at that box.
Now, they're not all in there, Wesley.
- But there's quite a few.
- GLENN: Hello.
You've reached Pirdoo Pawn.
This is Glenn Pirdoo.
I'm not here to provide prompt assistance right now.
- WOMAN: This boy's disappeared? - Yes, Judge.
And Paul Allen Brown wrote that he would make a little girl disappear? Yes.
Judge.
Okay, Wesley.
Arrest him.
[SIREN WAILING.]
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
I might be incorrigible.
You know what that words means? It means bad beyond correction.
I know what it means.
- [GUNSHOT.]
- PA: They don't know it, but I'm those kids' real dad.
Those two, the big ones.
Hop in.
Petition for passport.
Name? Donald DeLoash.
But I got a plan.
Cool plan.
Listen, I'm gonna put a breathing mechanism in there.
[LOCK CLICKS.]
[SPEAKS SPANISH.]
Oh, fuck.
PA: [SPEAKS RHYTHMICALLY.]
There we fucking go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
I wish I had a way.
Way to what? Way to thank you.
For getting me chin-up.
And back up in these stars Pa.
Well, that's thanks enough, honey.
My head was in the dirt.
I remember.
Right down there.
I saw it.
[OWL HOOTS IN DISTANCE.]
I'm good with numbers.
Maybe I can help you in that respect in the church, bills and such.
Well, we have a pile of those.
[CHUCKLES.]
[DOVE CRYING.]
[CRYING CONTINUES.]
[GASPS.]
Shouldn't he be back at the creeper house? [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
I take him out now and then.
I'm trying to build something there, something ongoing, you know, between us.
In case I need him later, I guess.
To take sides.
[SIGHS.]
For his part, he's happy to be out Dave.
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES.]
I'm going to El Paso to receive Paul Allen Brown.
Has he been arrested? He was arrested 10 minutes ago in Hermosillo.
He'll be back in El Paso tonight.
[SIREN WAILS.]
[GLOVE BOX OPENS.]
[BRAKES SQUEAL.]
[BRAKES HISS.]
[BRAKES SQUEAL, HISS.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
One day you'll buy a ride on a comet And you'll ride into the sunset Of a planet that's beyond it Beyond the wall Of all there is And you will stash it in your pocket And you'll take it to Manhattan Where your grandma's 10, and you are 10 You're not a family man, you're best Friends And you will hold it together Under the oldest running water Of the river of each other With the power of the future One day you'll ride into the dawning Of the morning of the dreaming And the sundown of the nearing The evening of Of the living Perpetual Grace, LTD 1x06 When Doves Cry [GASPS.]
I've had a pretty interesting life.
I was born on June 4, 1944, in an orphanage to a 15-year-old orphan.
Lucky me.
I had 100 mothers, ages 6 to 17, and that was okay.
Some children have no love, you know? Anyway, I was born for real on July 20, 1969, the night we landed on the moon.
Or so I've been told.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV.]
They're setting up the flag now.
I guess you're about the only person around that doesn't have TV coverage of the scene.
What's your family like? Tell me.
Can't.
Why? I'm an orphan, so yeah.
Shit.
- What? - Shit.
What, you don't date orphans? No, no.
I mean, shit, that's my thing.
What's your thing? Bein' an orphan.
I was lining up that detail about me with the question about your family.
'Cause sometimes I use my tragic orphan past to get men to sympathize with me and then you know.
- I do that, too.
- Mm.
Except to women.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
I was mentioning my tragic orphan past in these moments so that you would sympathize with me and then you know.
[LOCK CLICKS.]
[DOOR CREAKS.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS IN SPANISH ON TELEVISION.]
Who did this? Who did this, Miss? I did.
I did this.
Your husband has my wife in his fucking prison.
I want her back.
[GUN CLICKS.]
Your Sheriff husband doesn't load his Sheriff gun.
Fucking useless.
Useless husband, useless gun.
Join them.
[CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE.]
[DRAWERS CLATTERING.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING IN DISTANCE.]
"Sergeant Luke Steel had gained a little weight.
He was still sexy and hot and a damn good cop.
But his wife only mentioned the part about his weight all the time.
" Is this you? Hmm? Is this you, Miss? Do you pester your Hector about his weight? MARISOL: I'm unconcerned about his weight.
I am concerned about his health.
Have you read this? Have you read this, Miss? This shit? He's developing.
"Luke Steel drew his gun with his hand.
" Oh, he didn't use his foot.
"He aimed his gun with his hand at the per perpetrator.
" Misspelled.
"Halt, Perpetrator" misspelled.
"'Halt, Perpetrator', Luke Steel exclaimed.
'Yeah, halt', Steel's partner, Rod Powers, also exclaimed.
" I hope that's for another family member.
- [DOVE CRYING.]
- Byron.
MA: Doves are fascinating, and ordinarily, I'm a big fan.
But this little fucker is making an awful racket during my important and possibly final moments of trying to be heard.
Aw! Ha! - Yes! - [LAUGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
I'm getting married, Ma.
Who to? Lonnie Sholes.
Lonnie's homosexual.
Lonnie's completed a conversion course in Cleaver.
Completed this when? Lonnie? At 1:00 P.
M.
You're marrying a man who was homosexual 12 minutes ago? I'm afraid.
Afraid of what? Sliding on back.
I'm incorrigible, Ma.
I disdain this word.
I loathe it.
To be told, via this word, that you cannot change, that you cannot advance, evolve, develop.
Fuck that word.
Fuck that.
All life will change, if loved.
Doves Doves are high-flying fighter birds.
Aggressive.
Young doves.
Little red barons.
Predatory.
And then doves find their mates, and they're altered.
They're delivered by love.
Calmed, soothed, changed into doves by love.
Byron delivered me, converted me.
And I converted him with love.
Lonnie won't save you with Christian love.
To be saved, you need love that comes from the nuts his nuts and your girl nuts, Honey.
It's too late.
Your confidentiality standards, are they the highest? In the world? No, like, are they Like, if I receive This is a conservative community.
If I receive liberal, say, news publications like The New York Times or The Guardian or a strap-on, will they that will be confidential? Yeah.
- For instance.
- Okay.
Great.
And you have, um You have various P.
O.
box sizes? There are.
We have five P.
O.
box sizes.
My box will need to be longer than 7 and a 1/2 inches.
Okay.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE APPROACHING.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING IN DISTANCE.]
PA: It's loaded now, boy.
Fat and happy.
Sit.
[PAGES RUSTLE.]
May I read something to you? May I read something to you? "Steel and Powers walked into the hot field of numerous black crows.
" Now, can we study this sentence? "Into the hot field of numerous black crows.
" Man.
Come on, man.
What? Black crows, man.
So what? Let me ask you What fucking other color of fucking crows have you seen, Sheriff? White crows? Red? Gray? You know a beige crow? Write "crow".
Plain and simple.
Plain crow.
Plain and simple.
The necessary, Sheriff.
The necessary.
What have you written? I haven't written a dot about numerous black crows, ma'am, in hot fields.
You have me on that.
Bring my wife here immediately.
Your husband's a fucking crumb.
A fucking crumb husband and father.
Get my wife, Crumb.
Bring my wife, Crumb.
Fucking bring my wife, you fucking crumb.
I have your wife.
I'll take you to her.
I'm the only one in the world who knows where she is.
But you have to leave my family.
You have to come with me now, leave my family, you crazy fuck.
Bad news, lads.
That's your dad.
LONNIE: Honey? Yeah? This is gonna be so special tonight.
Cool.
Not like last time.
Or the time before that.
Not like any of the times.
I'm more "not gay" this time, 'cause of the program.
Cool.
'Cause I've really been applying myself to the program.
Cool.
Yeah.
Honey, you know what'd be fun? What would? If we turned all the lights out and closed the curtains so we couldn't see anything or each other at all.
Why would that be fun? Well, we'll be, like like, in outer space or something.
Okay.
Cool.
"When Luke Steel finally cheated on his wife after never doing it for for so many years, like 30 years, it was like he really didn't have a choice.
" - Stop, man.
- "Veronica understood Luke Steel in a way that his wife didn't, his specialness in terms of maybe be" [SCOFFS.]
"being a little overweight but also having a sexy accent to her American ears.
" I mean, seriously, man? "Luke's wife was Mexican like Luke, so her ears were Mexican.
So his words sounded normal.
But to Veronica, they sounded captivating and cool.
Luke Steel was captivating and cool, even though he had put on some weight, so he really had no choice but to be his real self and to start fucking Veronica in Albuquerque at a Sheriff's convention.
" Dishonest.
Dishonest.
What? Dishonest.
It's That's fucking true, man.
The special thing fades, man.
- Not my special thing.
Not mine.
- [GASPS.]
Still special, my special thing.
Still lovely.
Still fresh.
Rewarding.
We keep it.
Refine it.
Cherish.
Cultivate.
Shine it.
You quit, man.
You quitter.
Affairs? None.
50 years nil.
Didn't permit that weakness.
Didn't allow that selfishness.
Didn't quit my promise.
You, late middle age, no longer in striking distance of your fighting weight, concocting unhappiness to justify selfishness.
Shit husband.
What are you talking about? Shit husband.
That's what you are.
I don't care what else you are.
If that's what you are, that's what you are.
Shit husband.
I heard you.
She's deserving of love, your wife, deserving of love.
Fought like hell.
Fought like fucking hell.
Pulled it, pulled the trigger.
Killer for love your love.
You should love her, you dumb fuck.
You have an old copy.
Have what? I did a revision.
You're reading from an old copy, so Just so you know.
[SCOFFS.]
[DOVE CRYING.]
Oh, there were times I was lonely as a child without that bright, guiding light, the big light of a mother and dad.
[GASPS.]
But what you learn is, as you're wandering along, that's just big love.
[GASPS.]
And you can find it elsewhere some can if they're the lucky ones.
And I'm one of them, for sure.
[CRYING CONTINUES.]
[ENGINE IDLING.]
[CRYING CONTINUES.]
Fuck.
"Fuck" what? What the fuck? She was like Like what? [CRYING CONTINUES.]
The breathing stick.
That was the indicator.
That was, like, the position indicator.
Fuck.
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
[CAR DOOR SLAMS.]
[CRYING CONTINUES.]
Lillian!! Byron Lillian!! - [DOVE CRYING.]
- Fuck.
Hey, bird, get the fuck out of here.
It's not a bird.
It's a dove.
Fuck.
I mean, it's a bird, but it's it's not a bird singing.
It's a dove crying.
- Fuck.
- What the fuck? - It's a dove - I heard you.
crying.
I thought that was just a song.
Doves, they mate for life.
When their mate dies, they cry.
They cry for months.
They remain beside them, and they cry for months.
Piercing, when doves cry.
- That's this noise? - That's this noise.
Lillian! [GUN COCKS.]
- [GUNSHOT.]
- Don't! - Don't what?! - Don't shoot him! I can't even see him.
I I was trying to frighten him off.
[DOVE CRYING.]
My wife's buried in a field.
And you buried her alive, Sheriff, and you're going soft on a bird? - His lady died, man.
- My lady's underground.
Forgive me for the warning shot.
Jesus! [GUNSHOT, CASING FALLS.]
[GUNSHOT, CASING FALLS.]
[GUNSHOT, CASING FALLS.]
[GUNSHOT, CASING FALLS.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[CRYING CONTINUES.]
Listen, you.
It's awful, all right, what you're going through.
All right? You're not alone, mate.
Not alone.
Your love is lost.
Mine nearly.
But I can act in time.
Sir, I can.
But you must stop.
You must.
You must stop.
Lillian!! MARISOL: Hector! Hector! Hector!! [STAMMERS.]
Shit.
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
Close the fucking door! [DOVE CRYING.]
PA: Lillian!! [WEAKLY.]
Byron.
Lillian!! Byron.
[GRUNTS.]
[DOVE CRYING.]
[VEHICLE APPROACHES.]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF, CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
We got to chop down this fucking tree.
What? We got to chop down this fucking tree.
[CRYING CONTINUES.]
Let's chop down this fucking tree.
[DOVE CRYING.]
- Get it.
Get the rhythm.
- Get it.
There we go.
- No.
- What? - It's "Get it.
Get the rhythm".
- Cool.
"Get the rhythm" comes next.
Then it's "There we go".
Right, yeah.
Cool.
- Get it.
Get the rhythm.
- That's later, though, right? - The "There we go"? - Yes.
It's two "get the rhythms", then the "there we go".
Okay.
BOTH: Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
- There we go.
There we go.
- There we go.
There fucking go.
- I-I didn't say "fuck".
Fuck.
- It's all right, it's all right.
- Get it when she comes around again.
- Cool.
Get it.
- Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
- Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
There we fucking go! Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
[BUZZING.]
[DOVE CRYING.]
[WHISPERS.]
Byron.
Hey, man.
What the fuck? What the fuck about what, man? You and your wife and your other lady friend.
What the fuck? Love.
What I can say, man? Love is so mysterious.
You know, man, I have to tell you, you're really fucking stupid.
Why? Because I love a lady who's not my wife? No, because you don't know what love is.
Love is when you want to fuck a woman all the time.
No, it's not, you fucking infant.
Then you tell me what you think that love is truly all about.
Love will never ebb like sex, will never leave, for the briefest moment, the deep middle of your human body.
Doesn't come and go with the puny power of our chemistry.
Love defies it.
[DOVE CRYING.]
PA: Your wife is strong with love, you fucking moron.
Would your girlfriend fight me like a fucking contender, through living rooms, Would she gift you a poet's tool, a typewriter, to continue your tremendously shitty detective novel? Probably not.
Fuck.
No, fuck.
This other girl is just sexy.
She told me one time, "Come over here and fuck my socks off.
" But she wouldn't fight you in my kitchen.
Oh, my God.
I made a mistake.
Hey, man, stop fucking crying.
Stop fucking lying.
You have love in you.
Why did you return, Sheriff? Why are you here, huffing and puffing? So you can get your little wife back and go away from me and leave my fucking family alone.
That's love, boy.
Now, let's chop this motherfucker down, then you go home and love the one worth loving.
Love the one worth loving.
Love the one worth loving.
I will, man.
Straight.
Go home, fuck your wife's socks off.
I will, man.
Straight.
I mean, after I untape my kids.
But straight after that.
Then at the end of your long lives, you and your wife, you'll sing for her a family song, this bird song, greater than a mating song, a mourning song for the love you shared.
[SPEAKS RHYTHMICALLY.]
For the love you shared, for the love you shared, - for the love you shared.
- Fuck yeah! - For the love you shared.
- Fuck yeah.
- For the love you shared.
- Fuck yeah.
- For the love you shared.
- Fuck yeah.
- For the love you shared.
- Fuck yeah.
- For the love you shared.
- Fuck yeah.
Yeah! [DOVE CRYING.]
Byron.
[GASPS.]
[CRYING.]
[PANTING.]
[COUGHS.]
Hang in there.
- I can't.
I can't.
- Please.
There we go.
There we go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
BOTH: Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
[DOVE CRYING.]
[SAW CLATTERS.]
[EXHALING SHARPLY.]
[TREE CREAKING.]
There you fucking go.
[CRYING STOPS.]
[WINGS FLAPPING.]
Lillian!! [BREATHES HEAVILY.]
[WHISPERS.]
Byron.
[PANTING.]
Hector, please.
Ohh! [PANTS.]
Please, Hector.
I can't stop.
You must, Hector.
[PANTS.]
I'm just I'm just gonna pass out.
- [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
- [BODY THUDS.]
Lillian!! [WEAKLY.]
Byron.
[WIND WHISTLING.]
Byron.
[WIND FADES.]
Byron.
[GRUNTING.]
[TREE CREAKS.]
[GRUNTS, EXHALES SHARPLY.]
[GRUNTING.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
PA: Thank you, Hector.
[CHUCKLES.]
No problem, man.
[BODY THUDS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Ohh! [PANTING.]
[SHOVEL CLATTERS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[PANTING.]
Is she alive? Ma'am, are you? Yeah, just keeping my peepers closed on account of the dirt.
There's no more dirt, Lillian.
You're with me.
[CHUCKLES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, sÃ, sÃ.
[GRUNTS.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING.]
Donny he's out.
Oh, fuck.
Where is he? Drawing near, I wager, while trying to find money for a gun.
[LAUGHS.]
Pound me.
What? The New Leaf, switch-back, Mexico, double-cross, James.
Pound me in celebration.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm picturing the Ranger's face being like, "What"?! [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
"How could this ever, ever happen to me? Whoa! I'm so confused, I'm just gonna go back to Texas and open up a yogurt store or something and quit investigating this whole thing.
" I don't think Not yogurt yet, Paul.
I haven't figured out a way to send him all the way to yogurt.
But we're still in it.
We're still in it.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
"Hey, James", called Paul.
"Hey, Paul".
I could hear you guys out on the porch getting all into each other.
Going over some Mexico info, then going into the yogurt stuff.
They yogurt phase of fucking with a Texas Ranger.
I know what you guys are doing.
And I've been looking into your parents' private accounting.
- Crumb.
- What? Fucking crumb.
- Who? - Your son.
My son? We probably should get a gun, Pa.
Got one, Ma.
- Off who? - Off the Sheriff.
[CHUCKLES.]
Nice one.
What's this about your thumb? Former.
- How's that? - Former thumb.
It was keeping me from you, so I nixed it.
[CHUCKLES.]
Love you.
Love you, too.
[SIGHS.]
- Donny.
- Yeah.
- Fuck.
- Yeah.
How are you doing? Uh little tired.
We'll find a ride.
Someone will give a nice old couple a ride.
Right.
And if no one's kind enough to stop for a nice old couple, well, I'll stand in the middle of the road and force the issue with my new gun.
[LAUGHS.]
Classic.
[BRAKES SQUEAL.]
Buenos dÃas, ladies.
I wonder if I can have a look at that box.
Now, they're not all in there, Wesley.
- But there's quite a few.
- GLENN: Hello.
You've reached Pirdoo Pawn.
This is Glenn Pirdoo.
I'm not here to provide prompt assistance right now.
- WOMAN: This boy's disappeared? - Yes, Judge.
And Paul Allen Brown wrote that he would make a little girl disappear? Yes.
Judge.
Okay, Wesley.
Arrest him.
[SIREN WAILING.]
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
I might be incorrigible.
You know what that words means? It means bad beyond correction.
I know what it means.
- [GUNSHOT.]
- PA: They don't know it, but I'm those kids' real dad.
Those two, the big ones.
Hop in.
Petition for passport.
Name? Donald DeLoash.
But I got a plan.
Cool plan.
Listen, I'm gonna put a breathing mechanism in there.
[LOCK CLICKS.]
[SPEAKS SPANISH.]
Oh, fuck.
PA: [SPEAKS RHYTHMICALLY.]
There we fucking go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
I wish I had a way.
Way to what? Way to thank you.
For getting me chin-up.
And back up in these stars Pa.
Well, that's thanks enough, honey.
My head was in the dirt.
I remember.
Right down there.
I saw it.
[OWL HOOTS IN DISTANCE.]
I'm good with numbers.
Maybe I can help you in that respect in the church, bills and such.
Well, we have a pile of those.
[CHUCKLES.]
[DOVE CRYING.]
[CRYING CONTINUES.]
[GASPS.]
Shouldn't he be back at the creeper house? [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
I take him out now and then.
I'm trying to build something there, something ongoing, you know, between us.
In case I need him later, I guess.
To take sides.
[SIGHS.]
For his part, he's happy to be out Dave.
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES.]
I'm going to El Paso to receive Paul Allen Brown.
Has he been arrested? He was arrested 10 minutes ago in Hermosillo.
He'll be back in El Paso tonight.
[SIREN WAILS.]
[GLOVE BOX OPENS.]
[BRAKES SQUEAL.]
[BRAKES HISS.]
[BRAKES SQUEAL, HISS.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
One day you'll buy a ride on a comet And you'll ride into the sunset Of a planet that's beyond it Beyond the wall Of all there is And you will stash it in your pocket And you'll take it to Manhattan Where your grandma's 10, and you are 10 You're not a family man, you're best Friends And you will hold it together Under the oldest running water Of the river of each other With the power of the future One day you'll ride into the dawning Of the morning of the dreaming And the sundown of the nearing The evening of Of the living Perpetual Grace, LTD 1x06 When Doves Cry [GASPS.]
I've had a pretty interesting life.
I was born on June 4, 1944, in an orphanage to a 15-year-old orphan.
Lucky me.
I had 100 mothers, ages 6 to 17, and that was okay.
Some children have no love, you know? Anyway, I was born for real on July 20, 1969, the night we landed on the moon.
Or so I've been told.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV.]
They're setting up the flag now.
I guess you're about the only person around that doesn't have TV coverage of the scene.
What's your family like? Tell me.
Can't.
Why? I'm an orphan, so yeah.
Shit.
- What? - Shit.
What, you don't date orphans? No, no.
I mean, shit, that's my thing.
What's your thing? Bein' an orphan.
I was lining up that detail about me with the question about your family.
'Cause sometimes I use my tragic orphan past to get men to sympathize with me and then you know.
- I do that, too.
- Mm.
Except to women.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
I was mentioning my tragic orphan past in these moments so that you would sympathize with me and then you know.
[LOCK CLICKS.]
[DOOR CREAKS.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS IN SPANISH ON TELEVISION.]
Who did this? Who did this, Miss? I did.
I did this.
Your husband has my wife in his fucking prison.
I want her back.
[GUN CLICKS.]
Your Sheriff husband doesn't load his Sheriff gun.
Fucking useless.
Useless husband, useless gun.
Join them.
[CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE.]
[DRAWERS CLATTERING.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING IN DISTANCE.]
"Sergeant Luke Steel had gained a little weight.
He was still sexy and hot and a damn good cop.
But his wife only mentioned the part about his weight all the time.
" Is this you? Hmm? Is this you, Miss? Do you pester your Hector about his weight? MARISOL: I'm unconcerned about his weight.
I am concerned about his health.
Have you read this? Have you read this, Miss? This shit? He's developing.
"Luke Steel drew his gun with his hand.
" Oh, he didn't use his foot.
"He aimed his gun with his hand at the per perpetrator.
" Misspelled.
"Halt, Perpetrator" misspelled.
"'Halt, Perpetrator', Luke Steel exclaimed.
'Yeah, halt', Steel's partner, Rod Powers, also exclaimed.
" I hope that's for another family member.
- [DOVE CRYING.]
- Byron.
MA: Doves are fascinating, and ordinarily, I'm a big fan.
But this little fucker is making an awful racket during my important and possibly final moments of trying to be heard.
Aw! Ha! - Yes! - [LAUGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
I'm getting married, Ma.
Who to? Lonnie Sholes.
Lonnie's homosexual.
Lonnie's completed a conversion course in Cleaver.
Completed this when? Lonnie? At 1:00 P.
M.
You're marrying a man who was homosexual 12 minutes ago? I'm afraid.
Afraid of what? Sliding on back.
I'm incorrigible, Ma.
I disdain this word.
I loathe it.
To be told, via this word, that you cannot change, that you cannot advance, evolve, develop.
Fuck that word.
Fuck that.
All life will change, if loved.
Doves Doves are high-flying fighter birds.
Aggressive.
Young doves.
Little red barons.
Predatory.
And then doves find their mates, and they're altered.
They're delivered by love.
Calmed, soothed, changed into doves by love.
Byron delivered me, converted me.
And I converted him with love.
Lonnie won't save you with Christian love.
To be saved, you need love that comes from the nuts his nuts and your girl nuts, Honey.
It's too late.
Your confidentiality standards, are they the highest? In the world? No, like, are they Like, if I receive This is a conservative community.
If I receive liberal, say, news publications like The New York Times or The Guardian or a strap-on, will they that will be confidential? Yeah.
- For instance.
- Okay.
Great.
And you have, um You have various P.
O.
box sizes? There are.
We have five P.
O.
box sizes.
My box will need to be longer than 7 and a 1/2 inches.
Okay.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE APPROACHING.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING IN DISTANCE.]
PA: It's loaded now, boy.
Fat and happy.
Sit.
[PAGES RUSTLE.]
May I read something to you? May I read something to you? "Steel and Powers walked into the hot field of numerous black crows.
" Now, can we study this sentence? "Into the hot field of numerous black crows.
" Man.
Come on, man.
What? Black crows, man.
So what? Let me ask you What fucking other color of fucking crows have you seen, Sheriff? White crows? Red? Gray? You know a beige crow? Write "crow".
Plain and simple.
Plain crow.
Plain and simple.
The necessary, Sheriff.
The necessary.
What have you written? I haven't written a dot about numerous black crows, ma'am, in hot fields.
You have me on that.
Bring my wife here immediately.
Your husband's a fucking crumb.
A fucking crumb husband and father.
Get my wife, Crumb.
Bring my wife, Crumb.
Fucking bring my wife, you fucking crumb.
I have your wife.
I'll take you to her.
I'm the only one in the world who knows where she is.
But you have to leave my family.
You have to come with me now, leave my family, you crazy fuck.
Bad news, lads.
That's your dad.
LONNIE: Honey? Yeah? This is gonna be so special tonight.
Cool.
Not like last time.
Or the time before that.
Not like any of the times.
I'm more "not gay" this time, 'cause of the program.
Cool.
'Cause I've really been applying myself to the program.
Cool.
Yeah.
Honey, you know what'd be fun? What would? If we turned all the lights out and closed the curtains so we couldn't see anything or each other at all.
Why would that be fun? Well, we'll be, like like, in outer space or something.
Okay.
Cool.
"When Luke Steel finally cheated on his wife after never doing it for for so many years, like 30 years, it was like he really didn't have a choice.
" - Stop, man.
- "Veronica understood Luke Steel in a way that his wife didn't, his specialness in terms of maybe be" [SCOFFS.]
"being a little overweight but also having a sexy accent to her American ears.
" I mean, seriously, man? "Luke's wife was Mexican like Luke, so her ears were Mexican.
So his words sounded normal.
But to Veronica, they sounded captivating and cool.
Luke Steel was captivating and cool, even though he had put on some weight, so he really had no choice but to be his real self and to start fucking Veronica in Albuquerque at a Sheriff's convention.
" Dishonest.
Dishonest.
What? Dishonest.
It's That's fucking true, man.
The special thing fades, man.
- Not my special thing.
Not mine.
- [GASPS.]
Still special, my special thing.
Still lovely.
Still fresh.
Rewarding.
We keep it.
Refine it.
Cherish.
Cultivate.
Shine it.
You quit, man.
You quitter.
Affairs? None.
50 years nil.
Didn't permit that weakness.
Didn't allow that selfishness.
Didn't quit my promise.
You, late middle age, no longer in striking distance of your fighting weight, concocting unhappiness to justify selfishness.
Shit husband.
What are you talking about? Shit husband.
That's what you are.
I don't care what else you are.
If that's what you are, that's what you are.
Shit husband.
I heard you.
She's deserving of love, your wife, deserving of love.
Fought like hell.
Fought like fucking hell.
Pulled it, pulled the trigger.
Killer for love your love.
You should love her, you dumb fuck.
You have an old copy.
Have what? I did a revision.
You're reading from an old copy, so Just so you know.
[SCOFFS.]
[DOVE CRYING.]
Oh, there were times I was lonely as a child without that bright, guiding light, the big light of a mother and dad.
[GASPS.]
But what you learn is, as you're wandering along, that's just big love.
[GASPS.]
And you can find it elsewhere some can if they're the lucky ones.
And I'm one of them, for sure.
[CRYING CONTINUES.]
[ENGINE IDLING.]
[CRYING CONTINUES.]
Fuck.
"Fuck" what? What the fuck? She was like Like what? [CRYING CONTINUES.]
The breathing stick.
That was the indicator.
That was, like, the position indicator.
Fuck.
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
[CAR DOOR SLAMS.]
[CRYING CONTINUES.]
Lillian!! Byron Lillian!! - [DOVE CRYING.]
- Fuck.
Hey, bird, get the fuck out of here.
It's not a bird.
It's a dove.
Fuck.
I mean, it's a bird, but it's it's not a bird singing.
It's a dove crying.
- Fuck.
- What the fuck? - It's a dove - I heard you.
crying.
I thought that was just a song.
Doves, they mate for life.
When their mate dies, they cry.
They cry for months.
They remain beside them, and they cry for months.
Piercing, when doves cry.
- That's this noise? - That's this noise.
Lillian! [GUN COCKS.]
- [GUNSHOT.]
- Don't! - Don't what?! - Don't shoot him! I can't even see him.
I I was trying to frighten him off.
[DOVE CRYING.]
My wife's buried in a field.
And you buried her alive, Sheriff, and you're going soft on a bird? - His lady died, man.
- My lady's underground.
Forgive me for the warning shot.
Jesus! [GUNSHOT, CASING FALLS.]
[GUNSHOT, CASING FALLS.]
[GUNSHOT, CASING FALLS.]
[GUNSHOT, CASING FALLS.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[CRYING CONTINUES.]
Listen, you.
It's awful, all right, what you're going through.
All right? You're not alone, mate.
Not alone.
Your love is lost.
Mine nearly.
But I can act in time.
Sir, I can.
But you must stop.
You must.
You must stop.
Lillian!! MARISOL: Hector! Hector! Hector!! [STAMMERS.]
Shit.
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
Close the fucking door! [DOVE CRYING.]
PA: Lillian!! [WEAKLY.]
Byron.
Lillian!! Byron.
[GRUNTS.]
[DOVE CRYING.]
[VEHICLE APPROACHES.]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF, CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
We got to chop down this fucking tree.
What? We got to chop down this fucking tree.
[CRYING CONTINUES.]
Let's chop down this fucking tree.
[DOVE CRYING.]
- Get it.
Get the rhythm.
- Get it.
There we go.
- No.
- What? - It's "Get it.
Get the rhythm".
- Cool.
"Get the rhythm" comes next.
Then it's "There we go".
Right, yeah.
Cool.
- Get it.
Get the rhythm.
- That's later, though, right? - The "There we go"? - Yes.
It's two "get the rhythms", then the "there we go".
Okay.
BOTH: Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
- There we go.
There we go.
- There we go.
There fucking go.
- I-I didn't say "fuck".
Fuck.
- It's all right, it's all right.
- Get it when she comes around again.
- Cool.
Get it.
- Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
- Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
There we fucking go! Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
[BUZZING.]
[DOVE CRYING.]
[WHISPERS.]
Byron.
Hey, man.
What the fuck? What the fuck about what, man? You and your wife and your other lady friend.
What the fuck? Love.
What I can say, man? Love is so mysterious.
You know, man, I have to tell you, you're really fucking stupid.
Why? Because I love a lady who's not my wife? No, because you don't know what love is.
Love is when you want to fuck a woman all the time.
No, it's not, you fucking infant.
Then you tell me what you think that love is truly all about.
Love will never ebb like sex, will never leave, for the briefest moment, the deep middle of your human body.
Doesn't come and go with the puny power of our chemistry.
Love defies it.
[DOVE CRYING.]
PA: Your wife is strong with love, you fucking moron.
Would your girlfriend fight me like a fucking contender, through living rooms, Would she gift you a poet's tool, a typewriter, to continue your tremendously shitty detective novel? Probably not.
Fuck.
No, fuck.
This other girl is just sexy.
She told me one time, "Come over here and fuck my socks off.
" But she wouldn't fight you in my kitchen.
Oh, my God.
I made a mistake.
Hey, man, stop fucking crying.
Stop fucking lying.
You have love in you.
Why did you return, Sheriff? Why are you here, huffing and puffing? So you can get your little wife back and go away from me and leave my fucking family alone.
That's love, boy.
Now, let's chop this motherfucker down, then you go home and love the one worth loving.
Love the one worth loving.
Love the one worth loving.
I will, man.
Straight.
Go home, fuck your wife's socks off.
I will, man.
Straight.
I mean, after I untape my kids.
But straight after that.
Then at the end of your long lives, you and your wife, you'll sing for her a family song, this bird song, greater than a mating song, a mourning song for the love you shared.
[SPEAKS RHYTHMICALLY.]
For the love you shared, for the love you shared, - for the love you shared.
- Fuck yeah! - For the love you shared.
- Fuck yeah.
- For the love you shared.
- Fuck yeah.
- For the love you shared.
- Fuck yeah.
- For the love you shared.
- Fuck yeah.
- For the love you shared.
- Fuck yeah.
Yeah! [DOVE CRYING.]
Byron.
[GASPS.]
[CRYING.]
[PANTING.]
[COUGHS.]
Hang in there.
- I can't.
I can't.
- Please.
There we go.
There we go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
BOTH: Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
Get it.
Get the rhythm.
Get the rhythm.
There we go.
There we fucking go.
[DOVE CRYING.]
[SAW CLATTERS.]
[EXHALING SHARPLY.]
[TREE CREAKING.]
There you fucking go.
[CRYING STOPS.]
[WINGS FLAPPING.]
Lillian!! [BREATHES HEAVILY.]
[WHISPERS.]
Byron.
[PANTING.]
Hector, please.
Ohh! [PANTS.]
Please, Hector.
I can't stop.
You must, Hector.
[PANTS.]
I'm just I'm just gonna pass out.
- [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
- [BODY THUDS.]
Lillian!! [WEAKLY.]
Byron.
[WIND WHISTLING.]
Byron.
[WIND FADES.]
Byron.
[GRUNTING.]
[TREE CREAKS.]
[GRUNTS, EXHALES SHARPLY.]
[GRUNTING.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
PA: Thank you, Hector.
[CHUCKLES.]
No problem, man.
[BODY THUDS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Ohh! [PANTING.]
[SHOVEL CLATTERS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[PANTING.]
Is she alive? Ma'am, are you? Yeah, just keeping my peepers closed on account of the dirt.
There's no more dirt, Lillian.
You're with me.
[CHUCKLES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, sÃ, sÃ.
[GRUNTS.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING.]
Donny he's out.
Oh, fuck.
Where is he? Drawing near, I wager, while trying to find money for a gun.
[LAUGHS.]
Pound me.
What? The New Leaf, switch-back, Mexico, double-cross, James.
Pound me in celebration.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm picturing the Ranger's face being like, "What"?! [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
"How could this ever, ever happen to me? Whoa! I'm so confused, I'm just gonna go back to Texas and open up a yogurt store or something and quit investigating this whole thing.
" I don't think Not yogurt yet, Paul.
I haven't figured out a way to send him all the way to yogurt.
But we're still in it.
We're still in it.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
"Hey, James", called Paul.
"Hey, Paul".
I could hear you guys out on the porch getting all into each other.
Going over some Mexico info, then going into the yogurt stuff.
They yogurt phase of fucking with a Texas Ranger.
I know what you guys are doing.
And I've been looking into your parents' private accounting.
- Crumb.
- What? Fucking crumb.
- Who? - Your son.
My son? We probably should get a gun, Pa.
Got one, Ma.
- Off who? - Off the Sheriff.
[CHUCKLES.]
Nice one.
What's this about your thumb? Former.
- How's that? - Former thumb.
It was keeping me from you, so I nixed it.
[CHUCKLES.]
Love you.
Love you, too.
[SIGHS.]
- Donny.
- Yeah.
- Fuck.
- Yeah.
How are you doing? Uh little tired.
We'll find a ride.
Someone will give a nice old couple a ride.
Right.
And if no one's kind enough to stop for a nice old couple, well, I'll stand in the middle of the road and force the issue with my new gun.
[LAUGHS.]
Classic.
[BRAKES SQUEAL.]
Buenos dÃas, ladies.