Pinky and the Brain (1995) s01e06 Episode Script
TV Or Not TV
JEEZ, BRAIN, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT? THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY-- TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN ONE IS A GENIUS THE OTHER'S INSANE THEY'RE LABORATORY MICE THEIR GENES HAVE BEEN SPLICED THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN BEFORE EACH NIGHT IS DONE THEIR PLAN WILL BE UNFURLED BY THE DAWNING OF THE SUN THEY'LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN THEIR TWILIGHT CAMPAIGN IS EASY TO EXPLAIN TO PROVE THEIR MOUSEY WORTH THEY'LL OVERTHROW THE EARTH THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN NARF! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
WHO KNOWS WHAT BADNESS LURKS IN THE THOUGHTS OF MEN? THE MIST KNOWS.
I HAVE THE POWER TO BECLOUD MEN'S MINDS, FOR I AM THE MIST! HA HA HA! UH! NARF! I STILL CAN'T GET A PICTURE ON THIS THING, BRAIN.
QUIET, PINKY.
I HAVE ALMOST COMPLETED HONING MY RAPIER-KEEN MENTAL ABILITIES.
ZOUNDS, BRAIN! HONING! WHOA! [THUD.]
IS THAT GOOD? YES FOR NOW I HAVE THE POWER.
FOR I AMTHE FOG! NICE FEDORA, BRAIN, BUT I SEE YOU AS MORE OF A BERET TYPE.
NEVER MIND THE FASHION CRITIQUE, PINKY.
TURN OFF THAT RADIO AND I SHALL DEMONSTRATE.
NARF! OH, I LOVE IT WHEN YOU DEMONSTRATE, BRAIN.
BY ALTERING THE FREQUENCIES OF MY VOICE, I AM ABLE TO BEFOG MEN'S MINDS.
BUT HOW? WITH SOME ELECTRONIC GIZMO THINGY? NO.
WITH THESE.
IN A MOMENT, YOU WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO SEE ME, FOR I AM THE FOG! OHH! NEAT VOCAL EFFECT.
UH! I AM COMMENCING TO BEFOG YOUR MIND.
NARF! YOU CANNOT SEE--YAH! EGAD, BRAIN! IT WORKED! I CAN'T SEE YOU! OBVIOUSLY, HE HAS NO MIND TO BEFOG.
NOW, IF I COULD ONLY CONCEIVE A METHOD OF HOW TO USE THIS POWER ON MILLIONS OF PEOPLE AT ONCE POIT.
HA HA HA.
THERE YOU ARE, BRAIN! EGAD, YOU'RE AS GOOD AS THAT GUY ON THE RADIO.
THR RADIO! OF COURSE! PINKY, ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING? I THINK SO, BRAIN, BUT THE ROCKETTES? I MEAN, IT'S MOSTLY GIRLS ISN'T IT? PINKY, AREN'T WE RODENTS STIGMATIZED ENOUGH ALREADY? YOU WILL SNEAK INTO THE RADIO STATION, TAKING THE PLACE OF THE MIST, SO I CAN BROADCAST MY GENUINE MENTAL POWERS TO MILLIONS OF LISTENERS, BEFOGGING THEIR MINDS UNTIL THEY MAKE ME THEIR LEADER.
YON RADIO TRANSMITTER WILL SOON BROADCAST MY BEFOGGING MESSAGE TO EVERY HOUSEHOLD IN THE WORLD, AND THEN MY DREAM WILL BE REALIZED.
OH! YOU MEAN, YOU'LL FINALLY DANCE WITH THE BALLET RUSSE? NO, PINKY.
THE OTHER DREAM-- WORLD DOMINATION.
OH, RIGHT! THAT DREAM! NARF! AND NOW WE RETURN TO THE MIST, BROUGHT TO YOU BY PENNSYLVANIA BLUE COAL.
[WOMAN.]
OH, WHO ARE YOU? [MAN.]
I AM THE FOG! I AM BEFOGGING YOUR MIND.
CLOSE THIS DOOR.
DO YOU HEAR ME? CLOSE THIS DOOR! OPEN THIS DOOR.
UNH.
OPEN THIS DOOR.
YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS, CRAZED MADMAN! THE MIST WILL FIND ME! WELL, IF HE DOES, HE'LL FIND YOU IN THESE CHAINS! HA HA HA! NO! AAH! AND THEN I'LL HIDE YOU IN THIS DARK CELLAR DOWN THIS LONG, LONG FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
NARF! I NEVER KNEW RADIO WAS LIKE THIS, BRAIN.
WHAT DID YOU THINK IT WAS LIKE, PINKY? OH, YOU KNOW, LIKE A BIG, RED SQUISHY BALL WITH LITTLE NOBBIES ON IT.
HA HA! WHO ARE THOSE RIDICULOUS PEOPLE WHO JUST STAND THERE AND READ? THOSE ARE ACTORS, PINKY.
OH.
AND WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE THAT NO ONE'S PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO, BRAIN? THOSE ARE THE WRITERS, PINKY.
AND TONIGHT, THEY WILL FIND THEIR SCRIPT GREATLY EMBELLISHED.
COME.
WE MUST GET THROUGH THESE SOUNDPROOF BOOTHS SO THAT I CAN COMMANDEER THAT MICROPHONE.
[THUD.]
WH-- SOUND EFFECTS MAN, YOU CANNOT SEE ME.
I AM COMPLETELY INVISIBLE.
I AM BEFOGGING YOUR MIND, FOR I AM THE FOG! NARF! THE MIST! NO.
THE FOG.
NO, BRAIN.
LOOK.
IT'S THE MIST.
THE JIG IS UP, CRAZED MADMAN, FOR I AM THE MIST! MIST, SAVE ME! SAVE ME! [MAN.]
YOU'RE TOO LATE, MIST.
I'M LOCKING YOUR GIRLFRIEND IN MY SECRET DUNGEON.
[MIST.]
YOU FIEND! THEN I'M NAILING THE DOOR SHUT! [MAN.]
AND TO BE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THE POOR PITIFUL LASS CAN'T POSSIBLY ESCAPE, I'M BUILDING A BRICK WALL IN FRONT OF IT.
[MIST.]
BUT YOU WON'T GET ME, FOR I HAVE BECLOUDED YOUR MIND.
[MAN.]
THEN I'LL THROW THESE DISHES UNTIL I SMASH YOUR HEAD IN, MIST.
HA HA HA! [MIST.]
YOU CAN'T GET ME! NOT EVEN WITH THIS ANVIL? HA HA HA! [MIST.]
I DARE YOU TO DO THAT AGAIN.
OH, NO.
QUICKLY, PINKY, RUN FOR COVER! [MAN.]
YOU'LL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE ALIVE! [MIST.]
OH, NO? I TOOK THE PRECAUTION OF CALLING THE CAVALRY! [PLAYING MUSIC.]
I HEAR THEM COMING NOW! YOU HAVE FORCED ME TO LIVE UP TO MY NAME, MIST.
[WOMAN.]
A BOMB! A BOMB? [BRAIN.]
A BOMB? [PINKY.]
HERE'S ONE.
[MIST.]
FORTUNATELY, I CLEVERLY REROUTED YOUR FUSE SO THAT ALL YOU BLEW UP WAS YOUR OWN LAB! [MAN.]
MY LAB! [WOMAN.]
MY HERO! MY HEAD.
AND SO ENDS ANOTHER EPISODE OF THE MIST, BROUGHT TO YOU BY BLUE COAL.
GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD COAL.
ALAS, PINKY, I THINK I'VE LOST MY POWERS OF CONCENTRATION.
POIT! DON'T WORRY, BRAIN! YOU'LL COME UP WITH ANOTHER WAY TO BEFOG MEN'S MINDS.
IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY ALREADY HAS.
TURN THAT THING OFF, PINKY.
WE MUST PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT, BRAIN? WATCH MORE OF THIS EXCITING NEW MEDIUM? NO, PINKY.
THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT-- TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN WHEE! LOOK, BRAIN! POIT! HA HA HA! I'M EXPERIENCING TOTAL WEIGHTLESSNESS! OOH! AH! CURIOUS.
LOOKS MORE LIKE TOTAL MINDLESSNESS, PINKY.
OOF! AH! UH! THESE EXPERIMENTS ARE DEGRADING.
NARF! I THINK THEY'RE FUN, BRAIN! HA HA HA! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT RIDE.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO DIGNITY, PINKY.
ONE DAY, WE WILL LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE A MOUSE RULES AND IT'S THE HUMANS WHO ARE FORCED INTO THESE HUMILIATING DIVERSIONS.
YOU MEAN ORLANDO? DID YOU SEE THAT PLAQUE, PINKY? YES, BRAIN.
POIT.
HE REALLY OUGHT TO FLOSS MORE OFTEN.
YOUR INTEREST IN DENTAL HYGIENE IS ADMIRABLE, PINKY, BUT THAT PLAQUE DISPLAYS REPRESENTATIONS OF MAN, WOMAN, AND THE RUDIMENTS OF EARTH'S MOST SOPHISTICATED SCIENCE.
IT'S BEING SENT ON A PROBE TO THE OUTERMOST EXTREMITIES OF THE GALAXY ALONG WITH A DISK SHOWING EARTH'S ARTS AND MUSIC.
IF ALIENS LOOK UPON IT, THEY WILL LEARN EVERYTHING THEY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DOMINANT SPECIES ON EARTH.
NARF.
TOO BAD THERE ISN'T A PICTURE OF YOU ON THERE, BRAIN.
EXACTLY, PINKY.
ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING? I THINK SO, BRAIN, BUT PANTS WITH HORIZONTAL STRIPES MAKE ME LOOK CHUBBY.
NO, PINKY.
IF I PUT MYSELF ON THAT PLAQUE, THE ALIENS WILL RECOGNIZE ME AS EARTH'S LEADER.
EGAD, BRAIN! I CAN HARDLY RECOGNIZE YOU NOW.
VOILA! YOU SEE, PINKY? I HAVE REPLACED THE HUMAN FIGURES ON THE PLAQUE.
NARF, BRAIN.
IT'S BRILLIANT! MARVELOUS! HA HA HA! OH, OH.
JUST ONE THING.
UM, WHO IS IT? IT'S ME.
OH, RIGHT, BRAIN.
HA HA HA.
PERFECT LIKENESS.
YOU SEE, I'VE SLIGHTLY ALTERED THE GREAT ART MASTERPIECES TO ENHANCE MY OWN IMPORTANCE AS EARTH'S LEADER.
OH, THIS IS MY FAVORITE ONE, BRAIN.
HOW DID THAT GET IN THERE? AND THEN THEY WILL HEAR SOME SAMPLES OF THE WORLD'S GREAT WORKS OF CLASSICAL MUSIC.
* BRAIN'S THE LEADER, BRAIN'S THE LEADER ** AND AMERICA'S GREATEST CONTRIBUTION TO THE FINE ARTS, ROCK AND ROLL.
* WOP-BOP-A-LOO-BOP, SHEBOP-BAM-BRAIN ** NOW, WE MUST GO TO THE LAUNCH SITE AND SWITCH THESE WITH THE REAL PLAQUE AND LASER DISK.
BUT, BRAIN, WHAT ABOUT BALLET? POIT! AREN'T YOU GOING TO GIVE THEM A SAMPLE OF THE BALLET? THE ALIENS AREN'T GOING TO CARE ABOUT BALLET, PINKY.
OH, I DON'T KNOW, BRAIN.
I ONCE SAW A GROUP OF JAPANESE TOURISTS ABSOLUTELY MELT AT THE FINAL SCENE OF GISELLE.
BE QUIET, PINKY, BEFORE I AM FORCED TO INJURE YOU.
HALT! THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA.
SHOW YOUR IDENTIFICATION.
I AM THE FAMOUS JET PROPULSION SCIENTIST VERNER VON BRAIN FROM THE BRAUN INSTITUTE IN BONN.
NARF! AND I'M VERNER VON PINKY FROM THE MINK INSTITUTE IN PINK.
UM, OR IS THAT THE COLONEL KLINK INSTITUTE IN BLINK? WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF GAG? ACTUALLY, WE'RE TWO LABORATORY MICE WHO ARE PLOTTING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
HA HA HA! YOU TINY GERMANS SURE HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.
GO ON IN.
FROM NOW ON, PINKY, WHATEVER ANYONE ASKS YOU, JUST SAY JA OR NEIN.
JA.
NEIN.
JA.
NEIN.
NARF! STAND BY FOR IGNITION.
DID YOU HEAR THE COUNTDOWN, PINKY? JA! WHAT NUMBER ARE THEY DOWN TO? NEIN.
NINE? JA! EXCELLENT.
PLENTY OF TIME.
[ENGINES REVVING.]
DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THEY WERE DOWN TO NINE, PINKY? JA! NEIN.
POIT.
TELL ME, PINKY, DO YOU PRACTICE BEING DIM, OR IS IT A NATURAL TALENT? OH, PRACTICE, BRAIN.
ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.
BLAH! [MAN.]
THE PHILBIN SPACE PROBE, SENT BEYOND THE OUTER REACHES OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM SO LONG AGO, EXTENDED AN INVITATION TO THE UNKNOWN, AND THE UNKNOWN HAS RESPONDED.
THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.
ALIENS FROM THE PLANET FRUNOBULAX ARE LANDING IN WASHINGTON TODAY, AND THEY DEMAND TO MEET OUR LEADER.
HERE THEY COME NOW.
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER.
UH, HE MEANS ME.
I CAN FEEL HIS PAIN.
NYET.
I AM THE ONE.
MAIS NON.
C'EST MOI! OH, REALLY, OLD CHAP, I THINK HE MEANS ME.
UMBALLA LAZOOLOO! HOY SO FONG HAY! [ELECTRICAL CRACKLING.]
AAH! AAH! YOU ARE THE EARTH CREATURE KNOWN AS BRAIN? YES.
I AM THE LEADER OF THIS PLANET, RULER OF ALL I SURVEY.
EARTH TREMBLES BEFORE MY MIGHT.
NARF.
AND HE REALLY ISN'T JUST A LABORATORY MOUSE WHO PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
QUIET, PINKY.
I'LL HANDLE THIS FROM NOW ON.
POIT.
NARF.
NARF.
POIT.
THIS ONE IS QUITE INTELLIGENT.
HE SPEAKS EXCELLENT FRUNOBULAXIAN.
POIT.
YES.
I TRAINED HIM.
NARF, POIT, EGAD.
YOU WILL RETURN WITH US TO FRUNOBULAX, WHERE WE WILL CELEBRATE YOUR GLORY.
AT LAST, PINKY, I AM FINALLY APPRECIATED.
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE? [BRAIN.]
THEN I INVENTED THE AIRPLANE OOH! OOH! OOH! JUST BEFORE MY GREATEST DISCOVERY-- AIRLINE FOOD? NO, PINKY.
I WAS REFERRING TO ELECTRICITY.
AHH.
AHH.
BUT, BRAIN, WASN'T THAT BEN FRANKLIN? HUH? HUH? AH HA HA! THAT IS CONSIDERED A GESTURE OF RESPECT ON EARTH.
ONE CALLED BRAIN, WE WISH TO SHOW OUR RESPECT.
NARF, BRAIN.
YOU MEAN ALL THESE YEARS, YOU WERE JUST SHOWING ME RESPECT? I'M TOUCHED.
YOU CERTAINLY ARE.
NOW QUIET.
YOUR WORDS ARE LIKE PIPE BOMBS IN MY THROBBING CEREBELLUM.
WE GIVE GREETINGS TO BRAIN, EMPEROR OF EARTH.
YAY! YAY! [CROWD CHANTING.]
NARF, POIT, BRAIN! NARF, POIT, BRAIN! AT LAST, PINKY, I HAVE FULFILLED MY DESTINY! IT COULDN'T HAPPEN TO A NICER MOUSE ATTEMPTING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD, BRAIN.
WE ARE APPROACHING YOUR DOMICILE, BRAIN OF EARTH.
WE HOPE IT WILL BE SUITABLE.
FROM NOW ON, PINKY, EVERYTHING WILL BE DIFFERENT.
OH.
EGAD, BRAIN! THEY'VE LOCKED US IN! YES, PINKY, YES.
BUT LET US NOT DWELL ON THIS.
UNH! LET US PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHY, BRAIN? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT? THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY-- TRY TO TAKE OVER FRUNOBULAX.
THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN A WORLD OF CHEESES DELICIOUSLY MADE FOR YOU AND ME FLAVORS LIKE PROVOLONE AND BRIE EACH WITH ITS OWN ETHNICITY SO MANY CHEESES ARE AVAILABLE ALL AROUND THE WORLD FOR YOU TO EAT ESPECIALLY GOOD WITH CRACKERS AND MEAT A NICE YUMMY TREAT THOUSANDS OF CHEESES THE TEXTURE OF SOME CAN BE REAL GOOEY OTHERS ARE QUITE FIRM AND CHEWY SOME ARE BETTER WHEN MILDEWY BOUNTIFUL CHEESES WHEN YOU TAKE A BIG WHIFF A FEW WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO SPEW ESPECIALLY STRONG IS THE CHEESE REMONDOU A REAL STINKEROO IT'S INCREDIBLE JUST HOW MANY KINDS THERE ARE FROM COUNTRIES NEAR AND FAR IT'S REALLY QUITE BIZARRE NOW FROM THE MOUTHS OF CHEESES BIG AND SMALL WE PROUDLY PRESENT TO YOU THE CHEESE ROLL CALL I AM THE BRITISH CHEESE WENSLEYDALE, LIGHTLY PRESSED AND SMOOTH-TEXTURED WITH A SUBTLE MILKY FLAVOR, WHICH IS CLEAN AND REFRESHING.
WELCOME, WENSLEYDALE! G'DAY! I AM AUSTRALIAN CHEDDAR, AN INNOCUOUS GOLDEN YELLOW, RINDLESS BLOCK INSPIRED BY CHEDDAR AND EDAM.
HA HA! WELCOME, CHEDDAM! I AM THE GERMAN CHEESE EDELPILZKASE, A FINE BLUE-VEINED CHEESE WITH A PALE IVORY PASTE AND VERY DARK VEINS TRAVELING VERTICALLY THROUGH ME.
WELCOME, EDELPIL EDELPIL OH, WILLKOMMEN! THANK YOU, CHEESES! I WANT TO EAT YOU ALL! OH, HOW I LIKE MY CHEESES CHEESE FROM AROUND THE WORLD CHEESE IS THE TASTE THAT PLEASES CHEESE FROM AROUND THE WORLD SING WITH ME, CHEESES! OH, HOW I LIKE MY CHEESES CHEESE FROM AROUND THE WORLD EVERYBODY! CHEESE IS THE TASTE THAT PLEASES CHEESE FROM AROUND THE WORLD AROUND THIS GREAT BIG WORLD AROUND THIS BIG CHEESE WORLD AROUND THIS GREAT BIG WORLD AROUND THIS BIG CHEESE WORLD MMM.
YUMMY.
NARF.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL I believe you will find Mr Bingley is in the drawing room, ma'am.
Thank you.
Mr Darcy, come and advise me.
Mr Hurst carries all before him! - Ha! - 0oh! May I enquire after your sister, Miss Bennet? - Thank you.
I believe she's a little better.
- I am very glad to hear it.
- Mr Hurst, I'm quite undone! - (HURST): Should have played the deuce.
(MISS BINGLEY): He's undone us all, Mr Darcy! - Will you join us, Miss Bennet? - I thank you, no.
You prefer reading to cards? Singular! Miss Bennet despises cards.
She's a great reader and has no pleasure in anything else.
I deserve neither such praise nor such censure.
I am not a great reader and take pleasure in many things.
And what do you do so secretly, sir? It's no secret.
I'm writing to my sister.
(MISS BINGLEY): Dear Georgiana! I long to see her! Is she much grown since the Spring? Is she as tall as me? She's now about Miss Elizabeth Bennet's height, or a little taller.
And so accomplished! Her performance at the pianoforte is exquisite! - Do you play, Miss Bennet? - Aye, but very ill indeed.
All young ladies are accomplished! They sing, they draw, they dance, speak French and German, cover screens, and I know not what! Not half a dozen would satisfy me as accomplished.
(MISS BINGLEY): Certainly! No woman can be esteemed accomplished, who does not also possess a certain something in her air, in the manner of walking, in the tone of her voice, her address and expressions.
(DARCY): And to this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.
I'm no longer surprised at you knowing only six accomplished women.
I wonder at your knowing any.
(MRS HURST): You're severe upon your sex, Miss Bennet.
(ELIZABETH): I must speak as I find.
Perhaps you haven't had the advantage of moving in society enough.
There are many very accomplished young ladies amongst our acquaintance.
(HURST): Come, come! This is a fine way to play cards! You're all light! Look, girls! Is it not a fair prospect? And now the mother! Are we to be invaded by every Bennet in the country? It's too much to be borne! Mrs Bennet! Welcome! I hope you don't find Miss Bennet worse than expected.
Indeed I do, sir! She's very ill indeed, and suffers a vast deal, though with the greatest patience in the world, for she has the sweetest temper.
But she is much too ill to be moved.
We must trespass a little longer on your kindness.
But of course! Miss Bennet will receive every possible attention, I assure you.
You are very good.
Well, you have a sweet room here! I think you will never want to leave Netherfield.
I'd be happy to live in the country forever.
Wouldn't you, Darcy? You would? You don't find the society somewhat confined and unvarying? Confined and unvarying? Indeed it is not, sir! The country is a vast deal pleasanter than town, whatever you may say about it! Mamma, you mistake Mr Darcy's meaning.
Do I? He seems to think the country nothing at all! - Mamma.
- Confined, unvarying! I would have him know we dine with 24 families! (GIGGLES) Mamma? Have you seen Charlotte Lucas since I came away? Yes, she called yesterday with Sir William.
What an agreeable man he is! That is my idea of good breeding.
Those persons who fancy themselves very important, and never open their mouths, quite mistake the matter.
Mr Bingley, did you not promise a ball when you were settled here? It will be a scandal if you don't keep your word.
I am perfectly ready to keep my engagement.
When your sister is recovered, you shall name the day of the ball, if you please.
There, now, Lydia! That's a fair promise for you! That's generosity for you! That's what I call gentlemanly behaviour! Miss Eliza Bennet.
Let me persuade you to follow my example and take a turn about the room.
It's so refreshing! Will you not join us, Mr Darcy? - That would defeat the object.
- What do you mean, sir? - What can he mean? - I think we would do better not to enquire.
Nay, we insist on knowing your meaning, sir! That your figures are to best advantage when walking, and that I might best admire them from here.
Shocking! Abominable reply! - How shall we punish him, Miss Eliza? - Nothing so easy.
Tease him.
- Laugh at him.
- Laugh at Mr Darcy? Impossible! - He is a man without fault.
- Is he indeed? A man without fault? That is not possible for anyone.
But it has been my study to avoid those weaknesses which expose ridicule.
Such as vanity, perhaps, and pride? Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed.
(DARCY): But pride Where there is a superiority of mind, pride will always be under regulation.
I have faults, but I hope they're not of understanding.
My temper I cannot vouch for.
It might be called resentful.
My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.
That is a failing indeed, but I cannot laugh at it.
I believe every disposition has a tendency to some evil.
- Your defect is a propensity to hate everyone.
- Yours is wilfully to misunderstand them.
Some music? Give your parents my warmest salutations.
Your father is most welcome to shoot with us at any time convenient.
Thank you, sir.
You are very kind.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Drive on, Rossiter.
(MISS BINGLEY): How pleasant it is to have one's house to oneself again! But I fear Mr Darcy is mourning the loss of Miss Eliza Bennet's pert opinions and fine eyes.
Quite the contrary, I assure you.
(ELIZABETH): 0h, Jane! I'm sorry to say it, but notwithstanding your excellent Mr Bingley, I've never been so happy to leave a place in my life!
THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN ONE IS A GENIUS THE OTHER'S INSANE THEY'RE LABORATORY MICE THEIR GENES HAVE BEEN SPLICED THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN BEFORE EACH NIGHT IS DONE THEIR PLAN WILL BE UNFURLED BY THE DAWNING OF THE SUN THEY'LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN YES, PINKY AND THE BRAIN THEIR TWILIGHT CAMPAIGN IS EASY TO EXPLAIN TO PROVE THEIR MOUSEY WORTH THEY'LL OVERTHROW THE EARTH THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN NARF! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
WHO KNOWS WHAT BADNESS LURKS IN THE THOUGHTS OF MEN? THE MIST KNOWS.
I HAVE THE POWER TO BECLOUD MEN'S MINDS, FOR I AM THE MIST! HA HA HA! UH! NARF! I STILL CAN'T GET A PICTURE ON THIS THING, BRAIN.
QUIET, PINKY.
I HAVE ALMOST COMPLETED HONING MY RAPIER-KEEN MENTAL ABILITIES.
ZOUNDS, BRAIN! HONING! WHOA! [THUD.]
IS THAT GOOD? YES FOR NOW I HAVE THE POWER.
FOR I AMTHE FOG! NICE FEDORA, BRAIN, BUT I SEE YOU AS MORE OF A BERET TYPE.
NEVER MIND THE FASHION CRITIQUE, PINKY.
TURN OFF THAT RADIO AND I SHALL DEMONSTRATE.
NARF! OH, I LOVE IT WHEN YOU DEMONSTRATE, BRAIN.
BY ALTERING THE FREQUENCIES OF MY VOICE, I AM ABLE TO BEFOG MEN'S MINDS.
BUT HOW? WITH SOME ELECTRONIC GIZMO THINGY? NO.
WITH THESE.
IN A MOMENT, YOU WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO SEE ME, FOR I AM THE FOG! OHH! NEAT VOCAL EFFECT.
UH! I AM COMMENCING TO BEFOG YOUR MIND.
NARF! YOU CANNOT SEE--YAH! EGAD, BRAIN! IT WORKED! I CAN'T SEE YOU! OBVIOUSLY, HE HAS NO MIND TO BEFOG.
NOW, IF I COULD ONLY CONCEIVE A METHOD OF HOW TO USE THIS POWER ON MILLIONS OF PEOPLE AT ONCE POIT.
HA HA HA.
THERE YOU ARE, BRAIN! EGAD, YOU'RE AS GOOD AS THAT GUY ON THE RADIO.
THR RADIO! OF COURSE! PINKY, ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING? I THINK SO, BRAIN, BUT THE ROCKETTES? I MEAN, IT'S MOSTLY GIRLS ISN'T IT? PINKY, AREN'T WE RODENTS STIGMATIZED ENOUGH ALREADY? YOU WILL SNEAK INTO THE RADIO STATION, TAKING THE PLACE OF THE MIST, SO I CAN BROADCAST MY GENUINE MENTAL POWERS TO MILLIONS OF LISTENERS, BEFOGGING THEIR MINDS UNTIL THEY MAKE ME THEIR LEADER.
YON RADIO TRANSMITTER WILL SOON BROADCAST MY BEFOGGING MESSAGE TO EVERY HOUSEHOLD IN THE WORLD, AND THEN MY DREAM WILL BE REALIZED.
OH! YOU MEAN, YOU'LL FINALLY DANCE WITH THE BALLET RUSSE? NO, PINKY.
THE OTHER DREAM-- WORLD DOMINATION.
OH, RIGHT! THAT DREAM! NARF! AND NOW WE RETURN TO THE MIST, BROUGHT TO YOU BY PENNSYLVANIA BLUE COAL.
[WOMAN.]
OH, WHO ARE YOU? [MAN.]
I AM THE FOG! I AM BEFOGGING YOUR MIND.
CLOSE THIS DOOR.
DO YOU HEAR ME? CLOSE THIS DOOR! OPEN THIS DOOR.
UNH.
OPEN THIS DOOR.
YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS, CRAZED MADMAN! THE MIST WILL FIND ME! WELL, IF HE DOES, HE'LL FIND YOU IN THESE CHAINS! HA HA HA! NO! AAH! AND THEN I'LL HIDE YOU IN THIS DARK CELLAR DOWN THIS LONG, LONG FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
NARF! I NEVER KNEW RADIO WAS LIKE THIS, BRAIN.
WHAT DID YOU THINK IT WAS LIKE, PINKY? OH, YOU KNOW, LIKE A BIG, RED SQUISHY BALL WITH LITTLE NOBBIES ON IT.
HA HA! WHO ARE THOSE RIDICULOUS PEOPLE WHO JUST STAND THERE AND READ? THOSE ARE ACTORS, PINKY.
OH.
AND WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE THAT NO ONE'S PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO, BRAIN? THOSE ARE THE WRITERS, PINKY.
AND TONIGHT, THEY WILL FIND THEIR SCRIPT GREATLY EMBELLISHED.
COME.
WE MUST GET THROUGH THESE SOUNDPROOF BOOTHS SO THAT I CAN COMMANDEER THAT MICROPHONE.
[THUD.]
WH-- SOUND EFFECTS MAN, YOU CANNOT SEE ME.
I AM COMPLETELY INVISIBLE.
I AM BEFOGGING YOUR MIND, FOR I AM THE FOG! NARF! THE MIST! NO.
THE FOG.
NO, BRAIN.
LOOK.
IT'S THE MIST.
THE JIG IS UP, CRAZED MADMAN, FOR I AM THE MIST! MIST, SAVE ME! SAVE ME! [MAN.]
YOU'RE TOO LATE, MIST.
I'M LOCKING YOUR GIRLFRIEND IN MY SECRET DUNGEON.
[MIST.]
YOU FIEND! THEN I'M NAILING THE DOOR SHUT! [MAN.]
AND TO BE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THE POOR PITIFUL LASS CAN'T POSSIBLY ESCAPE, I'M BUILDING A BRICK WALL IN FRONT OF IT.
[MIST.]
BUT YOU WON'T GET ME, FOR I HAVE BECLOUDED YOUR MIND.
[MAN.]
THEN I'LL THROW THESE DISHES UNTIL I SMASH YOUR HEAD IN, MIST.
HA HA HA! [MIST.]
YOU CAN'T GET ME! NOT EVEN WITH THIS ANVIL? HA HA HA! [MIST.]
I DARE YOU TO DO THAT AGAIN.
OH, NO.
QUICKLY, PINKY, RUN FOR COVER! [MAN.]
YOU'LL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE ALIVE! [MIST.]
OH, NO? I TOOK THE PRECAUTION OF CALLING THE CAVALRY! [PLAYING MUSIC.]
I HEAR THEM COMING NOW! YOU HAVE FORCED ME TO LIVE UP TO MY NAME, MIST.
[WOMAN.]
A BOMB! A BOMB? [BRAIN.]
A BOMB? [PINKY.]
HERE'S ONE.
[MIST.]
FORTUNATELY, I CLEVERLY REROUTED YOUR FUSE SO THAT ALL YOU BLEW UP WAS YOUR OWN LAB! [MAN.]
MY LAB! [WOMAN.]
MY HERO! MY HEAD.
AND SO ENDS ANOTHER EPISODE OF THE MIST, BROUGHT TO YOU BY BLUE COAL.
GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD COAL.
ALAS, PINKY, I THINK I'VE LOST MY POWERS OF CONCENTRATION.
POIT! DON'T WORRY, BRAIN! YOU'LL COME UP WITH ANOTHER WAY TO BEFOG MEN'S MINDS.
IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY ALREADY HAS.
TURN THAT THING OFF, PINKY.
WE MUST PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT, BRAIN? WATCH MORE OF THIS EXCITING NEW MEDIUM? NO, PINKY.
THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT-- TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN WHEE! LOOK, BRAIN! POIT! HA HA HA! I'M EXPERIENCING TOTAL WEIGHTLESSNESS! OOH! AH! CURIOUS.
LOOKS MORE LIKE TOTAL MINDLESSNESS, PINKY.
OOF! AH! UH! THESE EXPERIMENTS ARE DEGRADING.
NARF! I THINK THEY'RE FUN, BRAIN! HA HA HA! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT RIDE.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO DIGNITY, PINKY.
ONE DAY, WE WILL LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE A MOUSE RULES AND IT'S THE HUMANS WHO ARE FORCED INTO THESE HUMILIATING DIVERSIONS.
YOU MEAN ORLANDO? DID YOU SEE THAT PLAQUE, PINKY? YES, BRAIN.
POIT.
HE REALLY OUGHT TO FLOSS MORE OFTEN.
YOUR INTEREST IN DENTAL HYGIENE IS ADMIRABLE, PINKY, BUT THAT PLAQUE DISPLAYS REPRESENTATIONS OF MAN, WOMAN, AND THE RUDIMENTS OF EARTH'S MOST SOPHISTICATED SCIENCE.
IT'S BEING SENT ON A PROBE TO THE OUTERMOST EXTREMITIES OF THE GALAXY ALONG WITH A DISK SHOWING EARTH'S ARTS AND MUSIC.
IF ALIENS LOOK UPON IT, THEY WILL LEARN EVERYTHING THEY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DOMINANT SPECIES ON EARTH.
NARF.
TOO BAD THERE ISN'T A PICTURE OF YOU ON THERE, BRAIN.
EXACTLY, PINKY.
ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING? I THINK SO, BRAIN, BUT PANTS WITH HORIZONTAL STRIPES MAKE ME LOOK CHUBBY.
NO, PINKY.
IF I PUT MYSELF ON THAT PLAQUE, THE ALIENS WILL RECOGNIZE ME AS EARTH'S LEADER.
EGAD, BRAIN! I CAN HARDLY RECOGNIZE YOU NOW.
VOILA! YOU SEE, PINKY? I HAVE REPLACED THE HUMAN FIGURES ON THE PLAQUE.
NARF, BRAIN.
IT'S BRILLIANT! MARVELOUS! HA HA HA! OH, OH.
JUST ONE THING.
UM, WHO IS IT? IT'S ME.
OH, RIGHT, BRAIN.
HA HA HA.
PERFECT LIKENESS.
YOU SEE, I'VE SLIGHTLY ALTERED THE GREAT ART MASTERPIECES TO ENHANCE MY OWN IMPORTANCE AS EARTH'S LEADER.
OH, THIS IS MY FAVORITE ONE, BRAIN.
HOW DID THAT GET IN THERE? AND THEN THEY WILL HEAR SOME SAMPLES OF THE WORLD'S GREAT WORKS OF CLASSICAL MUSIC.
* BRAIN'S THE LEADER, BRAIN'S THE LEADER ** AND AMERICA'S GREATEST CONTRIBUTION TO THE FINE ARTS, ROCK AND ROLL.
* WOP-BOP-A-LOO-BOP, SHEBOP-BAM-BRAIN ** NOW, WE MUST GO TO THE LAUNCH SITE AND SWITCH THESE WITH THE REAL PLAQUE AND LASER DISK.
BUT, BRAIN, WHAT ABOUT BALLET? POIT! AREN'T YOU GOING TO GIVE THEM A SAMPLE OF THE BALLET? THE ALIENS AREN'T GOING TO CARE ABOUT BALLET, PINKY.
OH, I DON'T KNOW, BRAIN.
I ONCE SAW A GROUP OF JAPANESE TOURISTS ABSOLUTELY MELT AT THE FINAL SCENE OF GISELLE.
BE QUIET, PINKY, BEFORE I AM FORCED TO INJURE YOU.
HALT! THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA.
SHOW YOUR IDENTIFICATION.
I AM THE FAMOUS JET PROPULSION SCIENTIST VERNER VON BRAIN FROM THE BRAUN INSTITUTE IN BONN.
NARF! AND I'M VERNER VON PINKY FROM THE MINK INSTITUTE IN PINK.
UM, OR IS THAT THE COLONEL KLINK INSTITUTE IN BLINK? WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF GAG? ACTUALLY, WE'RE TWO LABORATORY MICE WHO ARE PLOTTING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
HA HA HA! YOU TINY GERMANS SURE HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.
GO ON IN.
FROM NOW ON, PINKY, WHATEVER ANYONE ASKS YOU, JUST SAY JA OR NEIN.
JA.
NEIN.
JA.
NEIN.
NARF! STAND BY FOR IGNITION.
DID YOU HEAR THE COUNTDOWN, PINKY? JA! WHAT NUMBER ARE THEY DOWN TO? NEIN.
NINE? JA! EXCELLENT.
PLENTY OF TIME.
[ENGINES REVVING.]
DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THEY WERE DOWN TO NINE, PINKY? JA! NEIN.
POIT.
TELL ME, PINKY, DO YOU PRACTICE BEING DIM, OR IS IT A NATURAL TALENT? OH, PRACTICE, BRAIN.
ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.
BLAH! [MAN.]
THE PHILBIN SPACE PROBE, SENT BEYOND THE OUTER REACHES OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM SO LONG AGO, EXTENDED AN INVITATION TO THE UNKNOWN, AND THE UNKNOWN HAS RESPONDED.
THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.
ALIENS FROM THE PLANET FRUNOBULAX ARE LANDING IN WASHINGTON TODAY, AND THEY DEMAND TO MEET OUR LEADER.
HERE THEY COME NOW.
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER.
UH, HE MEANS ME.
I CAN FEEL HIS PAIN.
NYET.
I AM THE ONE.
MAIS NON.
C'EST MOI! OH, REALLY, OLD CHAP, I THINK HE MEANS ME.
UMBALLA LAZOOLOO! HOY SO FONG HAY! [ELECTRICAL CRACKLING.]
AAH! AAH! YOU ARE THE EARTH CREATURE KNOWN AS BRAIN? YES.
I AM THE LEADER OF THIS PLANET, RULER OF ALL I SURVEY.
EARTH TREMBLES BEFORE MY MIGHT.
NARF.
AND HE REALLY ISN'T JUST A LABORATORY MOUSE WHO PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
QUIET, PINKY.
I'LL HANDLE THIS FROM NOW ON.
POIT.
NARF.
NARF.
POIT.
THIS ONE IS QUITE INTELLIGENT.
HE SPEAKS EXCELLENT FRUNOBULAXIAN.
POIT.
YES.
I TRAINED HIM.
NARF, POIT, EGAD.
YOU WILL RETURN WITH US TO FRUNOBULAX, WHERE WE WILL CELEBRATE YOUR GLORY.
AT LAST, PINKY, I AM FINALLY APPRECIATED.
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE? [BRAIN.]
THEN I INVENTED THE AIRPLANE OOH! OOH! OOH! JUST BEFORE MY GREATEST DISCOVERY-- AIRLINE FOOD? NO, PINKY.
I WAS REFERRING TO ELECTRICITY.
AHH.
AHH.
BUT, BRAIN, WASN'T THAT BEN FRANKLIN? HUH? HUH? AH HA HA! THAT IS CONSIDERED A GESTURE OF RESPECT ON EARTH.
ONE CALLED BRAIN, WE WISH TO SHOW OUR RESPECT.
NARF, BRAIN.
YOU MEAN ALL THESE YEARS, YOU WERE JUST SHOWING ME RESPECT? I'M TOUCHED.
YOU CERTAINLY ARE.
NOW QUIET.
YOUR WORDS ARE LIKE PIPE BOMBS IN MY THROBBING CEREBELLUM.
WE GIVE GREETINGS TO BRAIN, EMPEROR OF EARTH.
YAY! YAY! [CROWD CHANTING.]
NARF, POIT, BRAIN! NARF, POIT, BRAIN! AT LAST, PINKY, I HAVE FULFILLED MY DESTINY! IT COULDN'T HAPPEN TO A NICER MOUSE ATTEMPTING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD, BRAIN.
WE ARE APPROACHING YOUR DOMICILE, BRAIN OF EARTH.
WE HOPE IT WILL BE SUITABLE.
FROM NOW ON, PINKY, EVERYTHING WILL BE DIFFERENT.
OH.
EGAD, BRAIN! THEY'VE LOCKED US IN! YES, PINKY, YES.
BUT LET US NOT DWELL ON THIS.
UNH! LET US PREPARE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHY, BRAIN? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT? THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY-- TRY TO TAKE OVER FRUNOBULAX.
THEY'RE DINKY THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN A WORLD OF CHEESES DELICIOUSLY MADE FOR YOU AND ME FLAVORS LIKE PROVOLONE AND BRIE EACH WITH ITS OWN ETHNICITY SO MANY CHEESES ARE AVAILABLE ALL AROUND THE WORLD FOR YOU TO EAT ESPECIALLY GOOD WITH CRACKERS AND MEAT A NICE YUMMY TREAT THOUSANDS OF CHEESES THE TEXTURE OF SOME CAN BE REAL GOOEY OTHERS ARE QUITE FIRM AND CHEWY SOME ARE BETTER WHEN MILDEWY BOUNTIFUL CHEESES WHEN YOU TAKE A BIG WHIFF A FEW WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO SPEW ESPECIALLY STRONG IS THE CHEESE REMONDOU A REAL STINKEROO IT'S INCREDIBLE JUST HOW MANY KINDS THERE ARE FROM COUNTRIES NEAR AND FAR IT'S REALLY QUITE BIZARRE NOW FROM THE MOUTHS OF CHEESES BIG AND SMALL WE PROUDLY PRESENT TO YOU THE CHEESE ROLL CALL I AM THE BRITISH CHEESE WENSLEYDALE, LIGHTLY PRESSED AND SMOOTH-TEXTURED WITH A SUBTLE MILKY FLAVOR, WHICH IS CLEAN AND REFRESHING.
WELCOME, WENSLEYDALE! G'DAY! I AM AUSTRALIAN CHEDDAR, AN INNOCUOUS GOLDEN YELLOW, RINDLESS BLOCK INSPIRED BY CHEDDAR AND EDAM.
HA HA! WELCOME, CHEDDAM! I AM THE GERMAN CHEESE EDELPILZKASE, A FINE BLUE-VEINED CHEESE WITH A PALE IVORY PASTE AND VERY DARK VEINS TRAVELING VERTICALLY THROUGH ME.
WELCOME, EDELPIL EDELPIL OH, WILLKOMMEN! THANK YOU, CHEESES! I WANT TO EAT YOU ALL! OH, HOW I LIKE MY CHEESES CHEESE FROM AROUND THE WORLD CHEESE IS THE TASTE THAT PLEASES CHEESE FROM AROUND THE WORLD SING WITH ME, CHEESES! OH, HOW I LIKE MY CHEESES CHEESE FROM AROUND THE WORLD EVERYBODY! CHEESE IS THE TASTE THAT PLEASES CHEESE FROM AROUND THE WORLD AROUND THIS GREAT BIG WORLD AROUND THIS BIG CHEESE WORLD AROUND THIS GREAT BIG WORLD AROUND THIS BIG CHEESE WORLD MMM.
YUMMY.
NARF.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL I believe you will find Mr Bingley is in the drawing room, ma'am.
Thank you.
Mr Darcy, come and advise me.
Mr Hurst carries all before him! - Ha! - 0oh! May I enquire after your sister, Miss Bennet? - Thank you.
I believe she's a little better.
- I am very glad to hear it.
- Mr Hurst, I'm quite undone! - (HURST): Should have played the deuce.
(MISS BINGLEY): He's undone us all, Mr Darcy! - Will you join us, Miss Bennet? - I thank you, no.
You prefer reading to cards? Singular! Miss Bennet despises cards.
She's a great reader and has no pleasure in anything else.
I deserve neither such praise nor such censure.
I am not a great reader and take pleasure in many things.
And what do you do so secretly, sir? It's no secret.
I'm writing to my sister.
(MISS BINGLEY): Dear Georgiana! I long to see her! Is she much grown since the Spring? Is she as tall as me? She's now about Miss Elizabeth Bennet's height, or a little taller.
And so accomplished! Her performance at the pianoforte is exquisite! - Do you play, Miss Bennet? - Aye, but very ill indeed.
All young ladies are accomplished! They sing, they draw, they dance, speak French and German, cover screens, and I know not what! Not half a dozen would satisfy me as accomplished.
(MISS BINGLEY): Certainly! No woman can be esteemed accomplished, who does not also possess a certain something in her air, in the manner of walking, in the tone of her voice, her address and expressions.
(DARCY): And to this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.
I'm no longer surprised at you knowing only six accomplished women.
I wonder at your knowing any.
(MRS HURST): You're severe upon your sex, Miss Bennet.
(ELIZABETH): I must speak as I find.
Perhaps you haven't had the advantage of moving in society enough.
There are many very accomplished young ladies amongst our acquaintance.
(HURST): Come, come! This is a fine way to play cards! You're all light! Look, girls! Is it not a fair prospect? And now the mother! Are we to be invaded by every Bennet in the country? It's too much to be borne! Mrs Bennet! Welcome! I hope you don't find Miss Bennet worse than expected.
Indeed I do, sir! She's very ill indeed, and suffers a vast deal, though with the greatest patience in the world, for she has the sweetest temper.
But she is much too ill to be moved.
We must trespass a little longer on your kindness.
But of course! Miss Bennet will receive every possible attention, I assure you.
You are very good.
Well, you have a sweet room here! I think you will never want to leave Netherfield.
I'd be happy to live in the country forever.
Wouldn't you, Darcy? You would? You don't find the society somewhat confined and unvarying? Confined and unvarying? Indeed it is not, sir! The country is a vast deal pleasanter than town, whatever you may say about it! Mamma, you mistake Mr Darcy's meaning.
Do I? He seems to think the country nothing at all! - Mamma.
- Confined, unvarying! I would have him know we dine with 24 families! (GIGGLES) Mamma? Have you seen Charlotte Lucas since I came away? Yes, she called yesterday with Sir William.
What an agreeable man he is! That is my idea of good breeding.
Those persons who fancy themselves very important, and never open their mouths, quite mistake the matter.
Mr Bingley, did you not promise a ball when you were settled here? It will be a scandal if you don't keep your word.
I am perfectly ready to keep my engagement.
When your sister is recovered, you shall name the day of the ball, if you please.
There, now, Lydia! That's a fair promise for you! That's generosity for you! That's what I call gentlemanly behaviour! Miss Eliza Bennet.
Let me persuade you to follow my example and take a turn about the room.
It's so refreshing! Will you not join us, Mr Darcy? - That would defeat the object.
- What do you mean, sir? - What can he mean? - I think we would do better not to enquire.
Nay, we insist on knowing your meaning, sir! That your figures are to best advantage when walking, and that I might best admire them from here.
Shocking! Abominable reply! - How shall we punish him, Miss Eliza? - Nothing so easy.
Tease him.
- Laugh at him.
- Laugh at Mr Darcy? Impossible! - He is a man without fault.
- Is he indeed? A man without fault? That is not possible for anyone.
But it has been my study to avoid those weaknesses which expose ridicule.
Such as vanity, perhaps, and pride? Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed.
(DARCY): But pride Where there is a superiority of mind, pride will always be under regulation.
I have faults, but I hope they're not of understanding.
My temper I cannot vouch for.
It might be called resentful.
My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.
That is a failing indeed, but I cannot laugh at it.
I believe every disposition has a tendency to some evil.
- Your defect is a propensity to hate everyone.
- Yours is wilfully to misunderstand them.
Some music? Give your parents my warmest salutations.
Your father is most welcome to shoot with us at any time convenient.
Thank you, sir.
You are very kind.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Drive on, Rossiter.
(MISS BINGLEY): How pleasant it is to have one's house to oneself again! But I fear Mr Darcy is mourning the loss of Miss Eliza Bennet's pert opinions and fine eyes.
Quite the contrary, I assure you.
(ELIZABETH): 0h, Jane! I'm sorry to say it, but notwithstanding your excellent Mr Bingley, I've never been so happy to leave a place in my life!