Private Eyes (2015) s01e06 Episode Script

1 So I was thinking this weekend, we go to Zippieri's for dinner and then go hit that new indoor free-fall skydiving place.
I'd love to see how you'd deal with all that flipping around after a fresh plate of spaghetti Bolognese, old man.
OK, her I understand, but you? It's a brand new world, kid.
I'm actually dating from the privacy of my own home.
Wow.
I'm in free fall already.
It's called December Date, and it's for people of a particular vintage.
You're not virtual dating too, are you? - My generation doesn't date.
- I like the sounds of that.
We hang out independently in groups of guys and girls.
And then, through the magic of social media, we "accidentally" meet up in packs.
Let's go, kiddo.
- Bye, Dad.
- Have a good day, honey.
Hey.
On my estimation, it's been about a half century since you went on a first date with Mom.
So word to the wise, Dad: slow and steady wins the race.
Yeah.
Let's hope.
My Dad's on a dating website, Jules is running with a teen wolf pack.
Did spring come early this year? It's a lonely world out there.
Everyone wants a cuddle buddy.
I guess you've got that covered, Miss Say-it-With-Leather 2016.
How is your mystery man, anyway? Have you figured out why you're so obsessed with who's dating whom? I get the sense you're about to tell me.
- Maybe you're in a slump? - (Matt laughing) Nothing like laughter to brighten my day.
Thank you.
Happens to everyone now and then, you know.
How long has it been? What's a dry spell for Matt Shade? Can we keep the investigation focused on our client? She's not just a client; Vanessa's a friend.
Yeah, I know.
I looked her up.
Big-time architect.
Very impressive.
She's completely a self-made woman.
I helped with her divorce case last year.
Found proof her husband was cheating on her.
- So why's she calling now? - That's what's strange.
She didn't sound like herself at all on the phone.
All she would say was to come quickly.
I'll call the police and have you charged with theft! Please, stop it.
OK, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Look, there's been a mistake.
Let me make some calls and get this straightened out.
Please! You can't just take it! Please, my God.
- Vanessa, what's going on? - They stole it.
They stole my whole life.
Identity theft? Apparently it was a two-phase plan.
They got a hold of my passwords somehow and set up phantom credit cards in my name.
Made a few small purchases to see if I'd catch on.
You didn't.
No.
Once they learned they were in the clear, they set up multiple lines of credit against my house and made huge withdrawals.
That's when the bank called.
Aren't the banks insured against things like this? That's only if your credit cards are stolen.
The thieves stole my passwords.
So the banks can't prove you didn't do it all yourself.
No.
They're saying I'm on the hook for seven figures.
- What am I gonna do? - Everything's going to be OK.
Trust me, I've been there before.
My ex-manager cleaned me out.
Did you talk to the police? They say they don't have the resources for this kind of crime.
They did tell me that most of the money was used to purchase rare coins.
That's a hell of a way to pad your coin collection.
The thief flew to Miami, New York, Colorado to buy them.
First class.
I've seen it before.
The biggest obstacle that scammers face is converting credit to cash, so they buy high-value items to resell.
- Coins don't attract attention.
- You toss a million dollar coin in the tray at airport security and nobody looks twice.
What about your routine? Anything changed there? I work 80 hours a week.
There's no room for change.
Anyone new in your life recently? You know how it is, Angie.
Running your own business, there's no time.
We're going to find out who did this.
OK? Thank you.
Just excuse me for a sec.
I've worked high-level identity theft cases before.
- It's brutal.
- You mentioned an ex husband.
- You think this is personal? - Let's start with him, check for proof of lavish spending lately.
- Follow the money trail.
- And hope.
I see you and you see me Watch you blowin' the lines when you're making a scene Oh boy, you've got to know What my head overlooks The senses will show to my heart When it's watching for lies 'Cause you can't escape my Private Eyes They're watching you Private Eyes They're watching you, watching you, watching you Watching you So why am I the one going through her ex-husband's trash? Your first dumpster dive! It's a time-honoured tradition.
- Ugh.
Is this really necessary? - Trust me.
Everyone throws out their secrets with the trash.
There's two dozen units in this building.
We're never going to find anything.
Oh, it's disgusting! OK, well, you can get out now, anyway.
You sure? Yeah.
I found this in the third bag you threw over.
- Why didn't you tell me? - I wanted to be - absolutely sure.
- (Matt sighing) It's a car detailing receipt made out to a Dean Barnwell.
2016 Porsche Panamera.
- (car engine revving) - You mean like that one? Oh, my God, it's him.
We need to hide! If he sees me, he'll get suspicious.
He doesn't know me.
Karma is a fickle mistress.
Shut up and give me a boost.
- Watch out for the - Ew! (engine roaring) (Angie grunts.
) - What's all this? - You know, the raccoons get bigger every year.
You might wanna get a new parking spot.
Hey, that's a sweet ride.
You get a chance to open her up yet? Uh, its top speed's 285, but I chicken out around 240.
Yeah, I got a'69 911T myself.
My ex-wife would freak out if she ever caught me in anything like this.
- Luckily mine doesn't know.
- How'd you manage that? My ex was all over me.
Even hired a private detective - to follow me around.
- Mine too.
And like a dumbass, she caught me cheating.
Ruined my life.
Wow.
Well, things can't be that bad.
I lease it.
I can barely keep up the payments.
Well, see you.
Do you ever think about trying to get back together with her? Your ex? Sure, but she's back out there already.
She's apparently been dating again, with a vengeance.
Wasted no time.
Take it easy.
Hey, you too.
There's nothing in your ex-husband's financial records that indicates he had anything to do with this.
In fact, he's pretty much broke.
He did say you were seeing people again.
Is that true? - About a thousand creditors.
- So you haven't been dating? I wish.
A friend and I did go on a speed-dating event about four months ago.
- Where was that? - The company was called Constellations.
I'm sorry, I totally forgot.
But I didn't go out on any dates after that.
Speed-dating still works the way I think it does, right? A bunch of guys sit across from you - for a couple of minutes each? - Ask you as many personal questions as they can, as fast as they can? Oh, my God.
You think I set myself up? Just give us a ballpark.
How many guys are we talking about? Welcome to Constellations.
My name is Enrique Villanova.
I want to congratulate you on making the first step toward a happier, more fulfilled life.
Well, Vanessa picked a popular dating company.
So a lot of guys then.
If our thief is swimming in these waters I think we're diving in.
So how honest should we be on this speed-dating questionnaire? - Honest-ish.
- It's kinda genius, using speed-dating.
You grill someone for two minutes, - it comes off as interest.
- Meanwhile, you're learning all the common passwords: first pet, favourite movie, even mother's maiden name.
What are you putting down - as a profession? - Urban planner.
It's close to architect.
I'm trying to emulate Vanessa's profile as much as possible.
- Smart.
- What about you? Owner of a sports memorabilia company.
Not the sexiest Hey, I could put down pet food taster and I'd still be catnip.
So you are using this to break your slump.
Nothing here to break, sister.
And I'm starting to wonder if that "stride of pride" of yours was all front.
Oh You still frustrated that you don't know who it is? People in slumps are frustrated.
Ergo, - I'm not frustrated at all.
- OK.
Favourite music Remember, this is a vulnerable step for people.
So I'd go with something empathetic, like Sarah McLachlan.
(scoffing): Sarah McLachlan Hey, honey! What's the rush? I've got to get dressed.
I got a date tonight with 20 women.
OK.
What's going on? I just teed one up for you.
You let it go.
- I was wrong.
- Wow, that's a first.
Apparently, my generation does go on dates.
- Liam just asked me out.
- On a date.
I don't even know what "on a date" means.
Do I have to act differently? Do I have to worry about what I'm wearing? I'm sure I'll worry enough for the both of us.
- Where's this date happening? - He wants to take me to Symphony Star Trek at the planetarium.
No, no.
The planetarium is out.
Planetariums are for making out.
No one looks at the stars! Well, not looking is a given.
We're going for the music.
No.
Honey, this is moving way too fast for me.
You know, Dad, I could have used some real advice here.
But I'm glad we got your feelings on the subject straightened out.
Honey, honey, honey.
Look, I'm sorry.
It's just I'm used to being the Liam in this situation.
When is this date happening? You can't tail us! How can we guarantee the thief's going to be here? We can't, but it's the only speed-dating event this month.
Ooh, I'll take one of those.
It may be speed-dating, but they know how to do it up right.
Yep.
Did you pick up that eating technique at finishing school? I missed dinner.
Is there something on my face? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome.
Before you take your seats, let's review the rules.
You'll have two minutes to connect with each person before the bell rings and you move on.
- So what's your plan? - I'm gonna trick our thief - into overplaying his hand.
- How will you know - when someone's a suspect? - Identity thieves, they feed on the minutia of your life and schedule.
If someone's overly interested in my personal trivia, I'll get a second date request from them.
- Just like that? - Candy from a baby.
You can "ping" anyone you wish via our app.
The ping comes with our patented emoji, requesting a date.
My advice to you all: be open, and love will find you.
Now please take your seats.
Meanwhile, I'm looking for victims of identity theft.
Meaning I have to find a way to ask these ladies about their financial history without looking like a creep.
Which should be a cinch.
Unless you're in a slump? (Matt laughing) 20 bucks says I get more dates off of this than you.
I don't want your money.
- 50? - Done.
Ladies and gentlemen, time to get speed-dating! How about this? Instead of leading with our strengths, we could do something completely crazy.
Like, um arm-wrestle? Or we could talk about the worst thing that's ever happened to us.
I'll go first.
My manager stole all my money.
- All of it? - Every last dime.
So what's the money issue? I'd love to help with it, or with anything at all.
I'm debating taking my company public, but I'm not sure I want the oversight.
Call me crazy You're crazy.
I mean, you asked me to call you that, right? I don't actually mean you're crazy.
I think you're amazing.
I'm blowing this.
I am blowing this, aren't I? Oh, crap.
- Your turn.
- OK.
- My dad shot my dog.
- That's terrible.
For eating his hoagie.
(whispering): Bang.
- Ping me? - (bell ringing) How much money did your manager take? I lost everything.
Anything like that ever happen to you? Ugh.
If I lost everything, I'd be a complete mess.
Surprisingly, it's not the end of the world.
Way to put on a brave face.
- A cute, brave face.
- (bell ringing) I don't think it's wrong talking about money on a date.
My CFO is worried about security, but I guess that's How much money are we talking about? A very healthy sum.
Why? I've got a Kickstarter campaign for a zombie repellent.
- Cool.
- (bell ringing) Do you want to know why all your money was stolen - by your ex-manager? - You bet I do.
It's because you haven't given yourself over to him.
- Completely.
- Him - Satan? - And you know what else? People think believing in the occult means you can't have a fun social life.
Not true.
He will strip away false desire and satisfy only the needs that matter.
Well, I don't know much about pagan rituals, - but I like what I've heard.
- (bell ringing) I mean, I don't usually like to talk about my financials Wow.
Beautiful, smart, savvy and funny? You're the whole package.
And I know packages.
As a lawyer, I mean.
Corporate lawyer.
Bay Street lawyer.
- So you're a lawyer.
- Either that or medical school.
- (bell ringing) - (chatter) (phone ringing) Why are you calling me? My date recognized me.
She thinks all pro hockey players are players which makes sense, because we are.
How's it going? It's not going anywhere because I'm talking to you! Well, have at it.
Oh, FYI, I'm crushing it.
Hanging up now.
I'm crushing it too.
- Sorry.
- No problem.
Jeremy.
Angie.
So what do you do for a living? Oh, I own an ad agency.
It's mostly web-based.
But talking about our jobs is just so boring.
Ad agency.
You must be terrifically visual and very organized.
- I guess.
- Probably really great - at managing money.
I'm hopeless.
- I'm worse, trust me.
(Jeremy sighing) Did you grow up in Toronto? What can that teach you about me? I only have two minutes.
Less.
- OK, yeah.
I grew up here.
Downtown.
- Cool.
High school? - Jarvis.
- Favourite subject? - English.
- Pet? Like first pet? A cat.
Mittens.
No way! I had a cat named Mittens.
What a crazy coincidence.
This is so much better than talking about money, isn't it? You're so right.
Can I tell you a secret? I think it's so boring when people wait until the third date before they (bell ringing) - Right.
Forgot about this.
- Is this where we act like we're really into each other? So we make other people jealous.
Good idea.
- OK.
You go first.
- OK.
Your ex-manager.
- What exactly happened there? - We'd need more than two minutes to get through that story.
- Fine.
Gimme the spiel.
- The spiel? What would Matt Shade's closing arguments be if this were a real date? I know we've just met, and I know I'm only getting 10 percent, but that 10 percent in my corner? There's nothing I couldn't do.
And there's nothing I wouldn't do to earn just five percent more.
And that is why I'm crushing it.
- (ping) - Oh! Got another one.
- (ping) - Can you call me? I think my phone is busted.
It's OK if you didn't get any date requests.
Women are tough nuts to crack.
Did you sandbag me with that whole Sarah McLachlan thing? What immense pleasure would I get from that? And they haven't seen our profiles yet.
Or are you right? Am I in a slump? Oh, come on.
I was just kidding.
- (pinging) - It's really starting to pile up.
Let's go grab Vanessa and see if she recognizes - any of these guys.
- You go ahead.
I'm going to take a little detour.
Self-help book? Good for you, Shade.
It's for my daughter.
- I know it is.
- (ping) I'll put it on vibrate.
(buzzing) That's not helping.
(music playing quietly) (French accent): Teenagers.
They are the ultimate challenge.
Yeah.
Sign language? My teenage nephew is deaf and I'm pretty sure he's swearing at me in sign, so I hope to blow his mind with this.
- That looks dangerous.
- Trust me, it is.
So, your teenager? A daughter.
14.
Actually, she's legally blind.
Brave girl, I imagine.
Sometimes I worry too brave for her own good.
That can only happen when children feel secure in their home life.
That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a while.
Sorry, I normally make it a rule to not just stand and stare at people like an idiot.
It's OK.
I normally make it a rule not to interrupt people in bookstores when they are reading.
But sometimes it's fun to break your rules, no? Matt.
Sylvie.
Good luck with your daughter, Matt.
Sylvie? Would you be interested in getting together over coffee and discussing more about teenagers or any other subject you want? - Lady's choice? - Definitely.
Don't lose the bookmark.
And ping! (Angie): Recognize any of these people? I remember this guy from my speed-dating event.
Ken Barnes.
He's a doctor.
He told me he was a lawyer.
Add him to the suspect list.
I honestly think the worst part of this is never being able to trust anyone again.
Angie doesn't trust anyone already, so that's the only part for her.
One of life's little efficiencies.
- So how do we get this guy? - He'll slip up eventually.
- They always do.
- Here's another one of your pings.
Look where he's been in the last month.
Miami, New York, Colorado.
The same cities the ID thief bought the rare coins.
Jeremy Cairns.
Rosedale address.
Nice digs.
Do you recognize him? - Maybe - So Jeremy Cairns thinks you're an easy mark.
What's our next move? You look into doctor slash lawyer Ken.
And I've got a date with an identity thief.
I understand you need me to be a different kind of parent in different situations.
Sometimes you need me to be a confidant.
And other times, you need me to be a Uh Other "Cheerleader.
" Other times you need me to be a cheerleader.
(phone ringing) Hey.
I still think I should be out there with you in the field.
We're looking for an identity thief, not a serial killer.
I've got this.
We could put a wire on you and I could follow behind, listening.
Does this scenario involve you helping me put on a wire? - It's hard to do solo.
- [Stick with the plan.
.]
Stake out Ken so you can figure out what he really does for a living.
OK.
You call if you need backup.
Or help with a zipper.
(doorbell ringing) Hey! How do I look? What, are you going to a funeral? - (knocking) - Get the door.
- Liam.
- Hi, sir.
- Well, come on in.
- Thank you.
So.
Graduating from study buddy, huh? - Ha, yeah.
- Hey, Liam.
Tell me about - your mother.
Three things.
- My mom? - Yeah.
- Um She's really smart.
She works at a research council as an epidemiologist.
Oh, she has, like, over 200 books and she says she's going to get rid of them - but never does.
Uh - That's enough.
The kid's fine.
How does this look? You're going on a date.
Yeah, well, us December Daters can't waste any time, you know? - But seriously, is this OK? - Yeah, you're rockin' it, Dad.
Just don't mention the Illuminati.
Those no-good bastards.
See you! See you! Liam, what you said about your mom was nice.
Means you respect her.
My dad thinks that it means you respect all women.
I do, sir.
I really do.
Uh-huh.
Look, Liam, I've been you.
So I don't want to be the Dad that threatens the boy who comes over, courting his daughter.
I don't want to be the Dad who goes into vivid detail about what'll happen to the boy if his daughter gets hurt in any way, on any level.
But I will be that Dad.
I'll be that Dad all day long if I have to be.
- Hey, Liam.
- Hey.
Hey, honey.
Liam - Would you give us a second? - Uh uh - It's kinda cold out here, sir - Yeah, just a minute.
Look, honey.
I know you need me to be a different parent - in different situations.
- OK Sometimes you need me to be a confidant.
And other times, you need me to be a - Other times, you need me to be - Did you rehearse this or something? I didn't want to screw this up, honey.
I read a book.
Keep reading, Dad.
(indistinct conversation) (streetcar bell ringing) "And sometimes all you need is love"? Seriously? (cell ringing) Hey, you OK? Fine.
How's it going with Ken? [Well, our doctor, or is it lawyer, .]
[lives in the crappiest building I've ever seen.
.]
Oh, well if he's our identity thief, then he's keeping it on the down-low.
You got that right.
Is your date over? No.
He just went to check on our reservation.
Uh-huh.
You sure you don't need me there? Looks like Ken's turned in for the night.
Aw, are you cold? Did someone forget to bring their sleeping bag? I've decided to be the P.
I.
who stares down the cold of a stakeout.
Well, I'm fine here, because it's an identity thief, not a serial killer, remember? I'll see you tomorrow.
They said 10 minutes.
Don't know if I believe them.
You ordered more drinks? I like your style.
Thank you, Jeremy.
I have a feeling that I could use your help with something.
Sure.
Anything.
I'm thinking about re-branding.
- Are you taking on new clients? - Yeah, new clients.
See, the thing is I'm actually pretty booked up.
- For, like, six months.
- Are you sure? I'd really love to help you out, but learning about you seems like a better use of our time.
So you keep saying.
Beautiful, smart, funny Your own urban planning business? Let's keep the focus on the more interesting party.
Careful.
Flattery will get you everywhere.
I never should have tried to memorize the book.
- I realize that now.
- You have a lot to learn - about teenage girls.
- That's why I bought the book in the first place.
The problem is I'm still playing with the weekend-Dad playbook.
This fulltime thing is new to me.
I mean, it's great, but it's tough being a rookie again.
I just don't want to be the Dad who doesn't get it, you know? Have you tried telling her that? See, that sounds smart when you say it.
I'd really like to take you out again.
For a whole meal this time.
Appetizers.
Desserts.
The works.
Ooh, big spender.
How about tomorrow night? - What's wrong? - I'm sorry, Matt.
I should have told you, but I I leave tomorrow, for Paris.
OK.
That sucks.
So close to departure, I usually wouldn't go out for coffee, but I think it's because I felt a real connection.
Yeah, me too.
Do you ever feel like the difference between an average night and a night you'll never forget is simply making the choice to have it be so? It's all about attitude.
I've seen lesser teams beat better ones for exactly that reason.
So what about tonight? Average? Or never forget? Dad was a carpenter, huh? What about your mother? What does she do? - She works at the racetrack.
- What's her name? Married? Or maiden? The more the merrier.
As much as I'd love to talk about my mother, I'd rather discuss my third date theory.
- The theory about what a waste - I remember.
You wanna get out of here? Go back to your place? Unfortunately, my place is being painted.
- I couldn't put you in that - I don't mind Couldn't put you.
Unless, of course, you want to just call it a night.
No! No, no, no.
Um it's fine.
We can go back to my place.
- OK.
- I thought you lived in Rosedale? I moved.
- Your place? - Five minutes away.
- (ringing) - (soft moaning) Ah, I gotta get this.
Hey.
Yeah, I don't know how your date's going, but mine's [Wow, this street's so quiet.
.]
And deserted.
427 Elmore Avenue.
Cute.
I didn't know you could find such a quiet, [quiet spot in the city.
.]
- Is everything OK? - I gotta go.
- What? - I'm sorry.
You're amazing.
What? (door closing) Suspend all judgment, ye who enter here.
- Funny.
- I wish I was joking.
(engine roaring) (intense music) (crash) Don't worry, Nanna.
Stand down, soldier.
Jeremy's not our guy.
He's another victim.
(muffled): Coffee cake? He's another victim.
This sure beats peanuts.
Yeah! (Laugh) I always thought that I was untouchable, and then along comes this thief in the night - and steals your life away.
- It proves how little control you have.
You know, I actually tracked down where they spent my money.
The trail didn't go very far, though.
- Let me guess: rare coin shops? - In Florida and Colorado.
- They wouldn't tell me anything.
- They guarantee the privacy of the purchaser.
Even when he's spending somebody else's money.
- He or she.
- I can't believe this happened - because I went speed-dating.
- Join the club.
The fact that you both used the same speed-dating service - is the strongest lead we've got.
- But neither of you went - on a date after the session.
- Which means that only Constellations would have seen your questionnaires.
Meaning we need to find out more about Enrique the love god.
[Enrique's inside.
We just have to sit here listening.]
[and see if he makes a move.
.]
- Keep the mic still! - [Yeah, yeah.
.]
[How come I gotta sit on the cold, hard pavement?.]
And don't give me that "time-honoured tradition" speech - like at the dumpster.
- Because homeless women garner too much attention.
- Sh, sh.
- It's Enrique.
Listen.
Our current arrangement has stagnated.
It's time to turn things up a notch.
How long before you can get here? Good.
See you soon.
- That sounds promising.
- [Let's sit tight.
.]
Sitting tight is all I've got.
My ass is frozen.
How's it going with Jules? [She's dating and not talking to me.
.]
My dad is dating and talking way too much.
(phone ringing) I gotta take this.
- Stay in character! - (beep) - Hello? - [I never had a man.]
[run away from me like that before.
At least not that fast.
.]
I'm sorry.
It couldn't be helped.
[Maybe we could try saying our goodbyes again in person.
.]
[I wish I could.
But I'm going back to Paris tonight.
.]
- So miss your flight.
- So romantic.
[It is very tempting, but I think last night.]
[may be all we have.
It is a wonderful memory.
.]
I bet we can amp that memory up, if you catch my drift.
Subtle.
I'm really sorry, but I have to go.
Again.
Be well, Sylvie.
[Adieu, Matt.
.]
- [What was that?.]
- Look who's coming.
Ken Barnes.
No.
Forget it.
Speed-dating is one thing, but going on a real date afterwards is completely different and you know what? It rhymes with "no.
" - I'll make it worth your while.
- Ah, look at this.
Cupid and Stupid hatch a plan.
We're not taking applications today That's not why we're here.
We're representing two former Constellations customers who've become victims of identity theft after attending one of your speed-dating events.
So you can hand over their money in full, or our next stop can be the 57th division.
Slow down.
I'm happy to offer a refund to any dissatisfied customer.
But my business here is totally legit.
Yeah, we can tell you're totally on the up and up.
You and Lawyer-Doctor-Lumberjack here.
I don't know anything about this.
Oh, yeah? Then what's your story, hot stuff? I'm an actor.
He's a ringer.
Ken of the multiple identities and fabulous ass is a plant.
You're gaming your own system.
I consider it value-added, OK? The people that come to these events, they're vulnerable and fearful.
Employees like Ken ensure they leave here feeling at least somebody finds them completely fascinating.
"Be open.
Love will find you.
" We're going to need information on every employee that works for you.
- I can't do that.
- Or I can call my friend over at The Star.
Ask him to do a profile on Constellations, featuring Ken here as the kind of guy that women can expect to meet at one of your speed-dating events.
How does that sound? I'll get you the files.
Any employee with access to Constellations's customer files could have easily set up an identity theft.
With that access, choosing the right target would be a breeze.
They wouldn't even have to participate in the speed-dating part.
- Are you OK? - Yeah, I am.
I'm fine.
Would you mind if we split these files and I worked on this from home? It's Jules.
I missed her getting home from her date last night.
I'd like to be there when she gets home today.
Of course.
Just meet me at the office when you're done.
Mon petit Chou-Chou.
- Hey.
- Hello.
- I thought we said goodbye? - We did.
But I couldn't leave without a parting gift.
What about your flight? - I pushed it.
- Until when? Tomorrow.
After that I guess We think someone gained access to your personal computers, possibly through Constellations's - computer system.
- I'm beginning to lose - all faith in humanity.
- I've lost mine completely.
Now that would be a genuine shame.
Let me know if any of these employee pictures look familiar.
Now, you said after the speed-dating event that neither of you went out on any dates, correct? - I didn't get any pings.
- I seriously can't believe that.
Forget about other speed-daters.
Did you meet anyone new around that time? I became friendly with a woman at my gym, Helene, but Cyclefit isn't a strong basis - for friendship, I suppose.
- I met somebody too.
Veronique.
I really thought we had a connection, - but it fell through.
- Fell through how? - She had to move back home, to Paris.
- To Paris.
- There! - Veronique.
Oh, my God.
Helene.
Paris.
Hey, what's the rush? I didn't want it to be awkward in case your daughter comes home.
But how about you relax, and I make us breakfast for dinner? I love breakfast for dinner! Mm, good.
Leave it to me.
Have a shower and take your time.
OK.
(door closing) (tapping) (beeping) (soft music playing) Your love is better than ice cream Adieu, Matt Shade.
- You lost? - No, I wanted to surprise you.
I've rebooked my flight.
Fantastic.
So Do you like it? I'm curious.
Why would you buy me this CD? Well, it was playing in the bookstore when we met.
I'm sure I saw you singing along.
Liking Sarah McLachlan is a lie I told on my Constellations questionnaire, along with the lie I told about what I do for a living.
I saw the pictures in your office.
So you've lived a whole other life.
I did, before someone stole it from me.
Now I'm focused on my new life, as a private investigator who's been hired to catch an identity thief.
And I bet if I looked in your purse right now, I'd find a couple of rare coins, wouldn't I? Matt.
What happened upstairs, between us? That wasn't business.
It felt a lot more like pleasure, I'll give you that.
Work with me.
We could make a lot of money together.
A lot.
See, here's the thing.
I've already got a partner.
In fact, you should meet her.
Hi.
Agh! It burns! I know.
Try rubbing your eyes really hard.
(groaning) (muffled conversation) (Sarah McLachlan playing) No, don't.
Don't.
(whispering): So cute.
Aw.
- It's the pepper spray.
- Yeah.
Me too.
- (Sylvie): Ow.
- Ah, ah, ah! Sylvie was a systems expert who did some work for the speed-dating company over a year ago.
She set up a mirror site that allowed her access to everyone's profiles.
The police found her rare coin collection.
It may take some time, but you'll get your money back.
Thank you.
I feel like you've given me a new lease on life.
I can echo that.
You know, the strange thing is this really feels like one of those worst thing-best thing scenarios.
- Oh, yeah? How's that? - Sometimes it's good to remember starting over's not the end of the world.
Shall we? (quietly): Yeah.
Wow.
We could give Constellations a run for its money.
(music playing in earphones) OK, look.
- Honey, this is over.
- What is? - Us not being able to talk to each other.
- Yeah, I don't like it either.
I trust you and I know you're smart.
But these boys coming around, all I can see is my little girl and all I want to do is protect you.
I was talking at you and not to you, - and I'm sorry, OK? - (whispering): OK.
Man.
I have just come from the best run.
- In hard-soled shoes? - Dad, maybe you should go take a shower and get cleaned up.
From your run.
That's a good idea.
(inaudible) So that's what they mean by "walk of shame.
" Honey, I know I said that we should talk about everything, - but not that.
Never that.
- Agreed.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Wow.
- (ping) - (Matt laughing) What's with you? Part of Sylvie's M.
O.
was to make sure her victim didn't get any date request pings after the speed-dating event.
- To make them feel vulnerable.
- Mm-hmm.
- Smart.
- Once her mirror site was dismantled, my phone blew up.
Ping city.
- Are you going to answer any? - We'll see.
So tell me, does it count as the end of a slump if sex was part of the con? Again there was no slump.
- You're evading the question.
- A gentleman never tells.
You know, I feel like we never really gave our speed date a chance.
As the French say: c'est la vie.
- What else do the French say? - I think you're the expert there.
Most of the time, she was speechless.
- Ugh, too much information.
- You wanted to know.
Speaking of which, we have time now.
If I asked about your ex-manager, would you deflect with some funny line or tell me what really happened? In a nutshell? I trusted the wrong person.
Hate when that happens.
You know, this speed-dating thing reminds me of what my dad used to call the "two-minute you.
" I'm listening.
Well, anyone can put on a show for two minutes.
But it's someone you want to spend that third minute with that's the person you're looking for.
That's a solid theory.