Pulling (2006) s01e06 Episode Script
Episode 6
Mum? He's.
.
He's left me.
He.
.
he doesn't love mummy any more.
What am I going to do, Lou? What am I gonna-- Lou? [WOMAN SOBS.]
[MAN TALKING ON TV.]
Ooh, god, I'm gonna die.
There's a sausage left in the pan if you want it.
I couldn't eat another thing.
You want half? Go on then.
- Have you got my laptop? - What? No.
You have, haven't you? Yes.
Donna, can you stop borrowing my things without asking.
- I asked you.
- When? Well, I didn't ask you outright, but I meant to.
And what about my power drill? You've had that for a month.
Yeah.
The thing about your drill is I think Karen put it on eBay.
- Well, take it off.
- Well, I can't, because she sold it.
- What? - I didn't bother telling you because she got such a bad price for it.
Bloody hell, Donna! Well, can you bring my laptop back, please, I've got an interview on Monday, and my CVs on it.
Yeah, it's round at Sam's.
IllI'll bring it back to you tomorrow.
It's at Sam's? What's it doing round there? I thought you didn't want to talk about Sam.
I don't! - So it's going well with him then? - Yeah, it is.
It's going really well.
So what you doing round here? Why aren't you at Sam's? Don't be stupid, Karl.
Sam's not the kind of man to sit round watching 'Saturday Kitchen'.
We're going to an opening tonight.
What, like a supermarket? What? No, gallery, Karl, not a super-- What are you talking about? Why would we go to the opening of a supermarket? Well, they sometimes have celebrities.
I'm not interested in celebrities.
Well, why do you get Heat magazine? I'm being ironic.
- You don't even like galleries.
- Yes, I do.
I love galleries.
What about the time we went to the Tate Modern you started crying because your feet were sore.
Oh, this is a proper gallery, like a small one with wine and a cloakroom.
- You'll hate it.
- I won't hate it.
Don't be so negative.
Well, I want my laptop back.
Sorry, do you want some? Yeah, actually.
Oh, look at me, Karen.
We never learn, do we? He's made a mess of me, but I still love him.
- What did he say? - Oh, the usual excuses.
Not sure if he's ready for this.
Wants more time to concentrate on his A levels.
How old is he? Nearly 18.
18? In seven and a half months, yeah.
You mean he's 17? There was a bit of an age gap.
There was a bit of an age chasm, Eileen.
He's not a boy.
And I didn't touch him until he was 16.
Well, I didn't let him inside me until he was 16.
Not front doorsies, anyway.
Jesus, give me some more of that.
It's his mother.
She's jealous that one.
She doesn't like the fact that I'm 10 years older than her and I'm still pulling men.
Eileen, she doesn't like the fact that you're 10 years older than her and you're pulling her son.
They kicked me out.
You mean you were living with em? In his bedroom.
I took a pair of scissors to all his Kanye West posters.
Do you think that's wrong? Which part? My little girl hates me.
She doesn't hate you, Eileen, She just hasn't seen you in two years.
I've been in love, Karen.
Love is cruel.
Well, when it's illegal, yeah.
I've been so stupid.
I feel so embarrassed.
Sausages? Er, no.
Bacon? I could do some eggs.
I'm not reallyfry-ups.
Have you got a rice cake? No.
I could do beans on toast.
II'll get an apple later.
A mango maybe.
So, looking forward to tomorrow? Oh, were definitely doing that? What? Yeah, I've booked a cottage and everything.
- Haven't you taken Monday off? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, I'll ring in sick.
The plan is Sunday lunch with the gang.
- The gang.
- Then finish the weekend off with some sordid sex in the Cotswolds.
How does that sound? Sordid sex sounds good.
Listen, are you sure you want to go tonight? - What? - To the gallery.
Yeah.
Course.
Why are you asking me that? Well, you just seem, I don't know, a bit hesitant.
No, I wanna go.
Yeah, God, I love galleries, openings and stuff.
Art and that.
Bloody hell, I love all that.
We'll have fun.
- With the paintings? - Well, they're not paintings as such.
Oh, that's a relief.
- Give you a chance to meet some of my friends.
- Mmm.
And.
.
and they know all about art and.
.
and things? - Yeah, it'll be great.
- Yeah.
Can't wait.
- Are you sweating? - No.
I can turn the heating down.
Yeah, can you turn the heating down.
Sorry for slamming the door in your face.
Yeah, well I suppose it was a shock.
You can't stay.
Have I asked to stay? - No, but-- - No? - Well, no.
- Thank you.
Right.
Okay.
Sorry, mum, I So you don't want to stay then? - Just for a few days.
- No! - A week at most.
- No, mum, you can't.
He's left me, Lou.
Mummy's all alone.
Mum, you can't keep doing this.
You only ever remember you've got a daughter when you get dumped.
I'm not going through this again.
Through what again? Look, mum, it's a bad idea.
It just doesn't work out, you and me.
I always end up feeling terrible.
I don't know what else to do, Lou.
Well, I just think you should you know? What? Piss off.
After you've finished crying.
I mean, there's no hurry.
- You're doing what? - I'm going to a gallery.
No.
I've got a big night planned.
They've got a two-for-one down at the Marquis.
Buy two pints, get the third free.
Then we'll stagger over to New YorkNew York's, where its male wet T-shirt night.
It's going to be a classic, Donna, you can't miss it.
Okay, it sounds But er, Sam really wants me to go.
But it's Saturday night.
- Yeah, but the gallery'll be, you know, fun.
- No.
It'll be shit and boring.
If galleries were fun, Donna, you'd have to pay to get in.
- Are you serious? - Yeah.
But-- Look, sorry, Karen, it's just he's expecting me there now.
But it's Saturday.
Sat-ur-day.
If God didn't want you to get drunk on a Saturday, Donna, he wouldn't have created the Morning-After Pill.
Look, Donna, I've got nothing against Sam - but he's a bellend.
- He's not a bellend.
Have you checked his drawers? - I bet he's got matching cutlery.
- So? And you're not going to enjoy it.
They're going to talk about the war in Iraq and French cheeses.
Well, I can talk about French cheese.
Petit Filous isn't a French cheese, Donna.
They're going to crucify you.
Well, II'll just look at the pictures.
I mean pictures are nice, aren't they? - You're going to look at the pictures? - Yeah.
How long are you going to look at them for? What do you mean? I'm just gonna.
What, is there a certain amount of time that you're supposed to look? Oh, god.
Oh, god, this is going to be a nightmare.
I mean, Sams like a proper person.
He goes on group holidays and he calls dinner supper.
What if he realizes I'm not a catch.
You do know you're supposed to enjoy being with your boyfriend? I do enjoy belove being with him.
It's just spending time with him I find stressful.
So you're going to leave me with Louise and Eileen? Well, she can't be that bad.
Imagine Lynne Perrie crossed with Wolverine.
It's a miracle Louise turned out the way she did.
A shit miracle, but a miracle.
And so I said, I'm never gonna get that out of my ear, am I? That's in there for good.
- That's five pound, please.
- Mmm.
Hang on, I'll just get my purse.
Do one! Sorry about that, Pavlos.
Oh, thank you.
Thanks.
Thank you.
[DRINK SPILLS.]
[SNIFFS.]
Hi, I'mI'm Donna.
I'm er, Sam's girlfriend.
Wh.
.
who do you know here? - I work here.
- Oh, right.
Great.
How.
.
how much is.
.
is that one? Why, are you thinking of buying it? Yeah.
Yeah, I am, actually.
My boyfriend Sam's a photographer, and we like all - pictures, art work, posters.
- It's a lot of money.
- Just tell me how much it is.
- 55,000 pounds.
It's not much.
I mean, that'sI mean,.
.
it's worth it, isn't it? Its good.
What do you get for that? Do you get do you get the whole thing, because that I mean, do you get the thing it's its standing on, because that's I mean, do you get do you get the plinth because that's quite.
No, it's just the sculpture.
- How.
.
how much is the plinth? - The plinth's not for sale.
It's a pity.
What about that one? Yeah, it might be better to wait until we get to a club before making any moves, Eileen.
Less chance of ending up with a serial killer.
Skinzo doesn't look his age, so we don't really go to pubs.
More parties, you know.
He's trying to grow a moustache.
I wanna go home.
Look, he's got a friend, Lou.
We could move them in together.
He's about 50.
And he's dirty.
I like that in a man.
I'm not talking to him.
Just a thought.
It's a bit boring this, isn't it? I tell you what I'll just pop over and have a-- Eileen, don't go ov.
Why did you have to ask her out? What you talking about? She's fine.
She's gonna ruin my life again.
You might relax a bit more if you drank more booze instead of Orangina.
I need to stay sober.
Louise, we are going to have a laugh tonight, if it kills us.
Just relax.
- This is Max and this is Phil.
- Hello.
This is Karen, and this is Louise, my sister.
Don't we look alike? Ha-ha.
You talk to Max, Lou.
His wife's just died.
I've looked at them all.
Shall I look at them all again.
Donna, Donna, this is Alice.
- Hello.
- Oh, so this is Donna? I'm afraid so.
- I've heard a lot about you.
- Oh, it's all true.
Except the stuff about the pig wanking.
That's.
- What? - No, I was just I was just joking.
That's Rebecca Loos anyway, and she's a right slag.
Er, have you looked at all the art works? Oh, no, no.
Er, I don't think I'm gonna bother I know, they're a they're a bit shit.
having just spent the last six months in the studio with them.
This is Alice's exhibition, Donna.
- Is it? - Mmm.
Well done.
They're er I like the one, er you know, the one er over there, that.
Look looks like a big mouse.
What's that called? It's called My Mum's Cancer.
And er, what is it? It's my mum's cancer.
Okay.
Can I.
.
can I get you some wine? It's free.
I know.
I paid for it.
Let's get some wine, Donna, yeah.
- I'll come with you.
- Okay.
Er, okay, sorry.
Cards on the table.
I don't think they're shit, I think they're really good.
I just bad-mouthed them because I thought you might think they were shit, and I just wanted to get in with you.
Wow.
Now I really respect you.
[CLUB MUSIC PLAYING.]
You alright, Louise? This is a nightmare.
It's not psychologically healthy to have your mum do lesbian dancing with you to attract men.
She's gonna be dancing even more now.
I've just seen her slip an E up her arse.
I wanna go home.
Well, maybe she was just letting off steam.
I mean shes just split up with her fella, so its only natural for her to.
.
Oh, my god! Did I just see her drink her sick back out of that glass? Oh, no, not the never ending pint.
They'll chuck us out for that.
But it did look like a mouse, didn't it? It had big ears and and everything.
SAM: They weren't ears, they were tumors.
I can't deal with this, Karen.
Fucking hell.
Oi, leave it.
Leave it.
- She's not worth it.
- She hit me head.
- Are you alright? - Yeah, she should keep her arms to herself.
[CHURCH BELLS CHIME.]
[MACHINE WHIRS.]
Find anything interesting? No.
Er, no, I was er I was just looking at your cutlery.
Don't worry, it all matches.
Yeah.
It's lovely having you here, Donna.
Thanks.
It's lovely being here.
Sam, do you er Do you often do these you know, weekends away with your mates? No.
No more than once a month.
- More in the summer.
- Right.
You're not looking forward to it? Oh, no, definitely, I really I mean, I'm really reallySorry about last night, about Alice.
Don't worry about it, Donna, she's a psycho anyway.
Yeah.
And they were a bit rubbish.
No, they're brilliant.
- Are they? - Of course they are.
She's a genius.
Oh.
Listen, er, we've still got a few hours before - we're supposed to meet the others.
- Oh, yeah.
- So, what you doing now? - Why? - What do you have in mind? - Well I thought we could give Johnny and Kat a call and hook up early.
- Right.
- What do you think? II think er.
Do you remember where I put my laptop? Its busy! Oh, fucOh, Christ.
- Oh, bloody hell! - I'll be finished in a minute, Karen.
Eileen, have you been wearing my knickers? Oh, yeah, do you mind? I found them on the floor.
I haven't even washed these.
Oh, don't worry, I turned them inside out.
So have I.
But I don't understand why he has to borrow your computer.
- I mean, you've split up.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
I keep telling him, but what can you do? Well, don't be late.
I'll be as quick as I can.
Ah, don't be jealous.
I'm not.
- You are a bit.
- No, I just don't want us to be late.
Yeah, sure.
Mr.
Jealousy.
Look, we need to talk, Louise.
What is it? Let's sit down, shall we? It's about your mum.
She's a filthy slag.
Get her out of here.
[TV PLAYING.]
What is it? Miss Congeniality 2 .
Christ! I know.
You wanna cup of tea? Huh? No, no, I can't.
Er, cant I've gotta get back for this lunch thing with er with er - This is awful.
- Oh, it's stupid.
- As if you wouldn't see that's a wig.
- I know.
I know.
There's doughnuts in the kitchen.
Er, I can't.
I'veI've got to meet them by 12.
30 at the er.
Oh, for God's sake, that's ridiculous.
- Stupid.
- That's embarrassing.
I'm embarrassed for her.
I mean, its its supposed to be the FBI.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- The FBI wouldn'tYou know.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mum, mum, look.
What's this? I've been carrying this around with me for years.
I don't know why.
I meant to give it you when I got back from Ibiza.
It's one of those shitty donkeys.
It reminded me of you.
So beautiful and kind.
I feel proud of you, Lou.
You're the only thing I've ever done that's turned out right.
- Oh, mum.
- I know.
I know.
Don't worry love, I'm going.
Mum - That's shit.
- So lame.
What time is it, Karl? Twenty to two.
Mum's staying.
- What? - She's staying.
What are you talking about, Louise? She's a nightmare.
It's like living with me.
She's turning over a new leaf.
We've had a talk, and she needs to be here with me with her daughter, Karen.
I'm changing, Karen.
I'm just asking for a little help, that's all.
Wake up, Louise.
The moment some scumbag with a pair of balls walks in to her life, she'll be off again.
You're wrong! I won't be any trouble, Karen, I promise.
- No way! - If she goes, I go.
- Louise! - I mean it, Karen.
II know how you feel, Karen, but we've had a talk and II think I've been indulging in self-destructive behavior.
But that's over.
Just give me this one chance.
I don't believe this.
Alright, but I want my knickers back.
Not now! Hey! Eileen! Oh, my god, that's Skinzo.
He's found me.
LOUISE: How? EILEEN: H.
.
he must have seen the address I wrote down for him in his bedroom.
II'd better have a word with him.
He can get very nasty if he's been on the Breezers.
- How do I look? - No, you go upstairs and wait in the bedroom.
- Ill deal with it.
- No, perhaps maybe Should I go, Lou? Maybe I should-- No! I want you to be strong, mum.
I'll sort this out.
Come on, Karen.
Twenty to two? - I want my woman! - She's not your woman she's my mum, and she's not coming out.
You'd better get out of my face.
- Eileen! - It's over, Skinzo.
It's time to move on.
I don't wanna move on.
I love her.
She's the only woman I've felt sexually compatible with.
If you don't let me see her, I'm going to blow myself up.
With what? Petrol.
Louise, let me talk to him.
Listen, you runty little alcopopoholic, if you don't piss off, I'm gonna filet you with your own blade.
- Karen! - I'm not going anywhere.
Leenie! I love you Leenie! Skinzo, listen to me.
I know how you feel.
I know what it's like to be left, but this isn't the answer.
Eileen's made her decision.
It's not that she doesn't care about you, but she needs to move on.
I know it's hard to accept, but sometimes people need to do what's right for them and right now, what's right for my mum is to stay here with me.
She's never had time just to be herself.
Do you understand that, Skinzo? Look, she knows where you are.
Just give her this time to get her self-respect back.
Okay? - Babes! - Leenie! Oh.
Oh.
God, Sam, I am so sorry.
- Where have you been? - No, because the thing was, right I had to go to Karl's.
- You're nearly two hours late.
- Am I? God, I'm so sorry.
- What happened? - Well, the thing is, I got there and Have you seen Miss Congeniality 2? What you talking about? I mean, you can't believe how bad it is but you have to keep watching.
You've been watching a film? If you can call it that.
You are joking, aren't you? I mean, I've been sat here like a lemon for two hours.
I was worried about you.
That's so sweet.
Donna, are you sure you wanna be with me? - What? - Are you sure you wanna be with me? Sam, I just.
Look, alalright, look I don't know how to be with your friends.
- Okay.
- Try saying yes.
- I am.
- You're not.
Why wouldn't I want to be with you? You're great.
Donna, say yes.
What's the big? Okay, I I'm just taking a while getting you know, adjusting.
Then tell me you want to be with me.
I want to be with you.
Yes, there.
Yes, I'm saying yes.
Right.
Okay.
Good.
That's all I need to hear.
I mean, it's a shit film.
You're telling me.
I sat through it.
Well, come on, we haven't got much time.
What? We've got a train to catch.
Oh, were still doing that? Yeah.
Do you want to? Yeah, course.
Well, shall we go? Definitely.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Let's go now.
Oh shit! Oh, the laptop, it's still in my bag.
What? Its going to have to stay there.
We've got a train to catch in half an hour.
Yeah, but KaKarl really needs it.
And I really need you to catch a train with me.
- Because he's got a job interview on Monday.
- Donna! I want you to think about this very carefully.
Catch the train with me or return the computer to Karl.
I'm going to be 15 minutes, 20 at the most.
Right.
- 25 max.
- I'm going, Donna.
- No, but I'm going to catch you up.
- Bye.
No, but Sam, I'm Sam, I'm gonna run and I'll beI'll be really quick.
15 minutes at the most.
Get me a Twix.
God, it really makes sense when you've seen the first one.
.
He's left me.
He.
.
he doesn't love mummy any more.
What am I going to do, Lou? What am I gonna-- Lou? [WOMAN SOBS.]
[MAN TALKING ON TV.]
Ooh, god, I'm gonna die.
There's a sausage left in the pan if you want it.
I couldn't eat another thing.
You want half? Go on then.
- Have you got my laptop? - What? No.
You have, haven't you? Yes.
Donna, can you stop borrowing my things without asking.
- I asked you.
- When? Well, I didn't ask you outright, but I meant to.
And what about my power drill? You've had that for a month.
Yeah.
The thing about your drill is I think Karen put it on eBay.
- Well, take it off.
- Well, I can't, because she sold it.
- What? - I didn't bother telling you because she got such a bad price for it.
Bloody hell, Donna! Well, can you bring my laptop back, please, I've got an interview on Monday, and my CVs on it.
Yeah, it's round at Sam's.
IllI'll bring it back to you tomorrow.
It's at Sam's? What's it doing round there? I thought you didn't want to talk about Sam.
I don't! - So it's going well with him then? - Yeah, it is.
It's going really well.
So what you doing round here? Why aren't you at Sam's? Don't be stupid, Karl.
Sam's not the kind of man to sit round watching 'Saturday Kitchen'.
We're going to an opening tonight.
What, like a supermarket? What? No, gallery, Karl, not a super-- What are you talking about? Why would we go to the opening of a supermarket? Well, they sometimes have celebrities.
I'm not interested in celebrities.
Well, why do you get Heat magazine? I'm being ironic.
- You don't even like galleries.
- Yes, I do.
I love galleries.
What about the time we went to the Tate Modern you started crying because your feet were sore.
Oh, this is a proper gallery, like a small one with wine and a cloakroom.
- You'll hate it.
- I won't hate it.
Don't be so negative.
Well, I want my laptop back.
Sorry, do you want some? Yeah, actually.
Oh, look at me, Karen.
We never learn, do we? He's made a mess of me, but I still love him.
- What did he say? - Oh, the usual excuses.
Not sure if he's ready for this.
Wants more time to concentrate on his A levels.
How old is he? Nearly 18.
18? In seven and a half months, yeah.
You mean he's 17? There was a bit of an age gap.
There was a bit of an age chasm, Eileen.
He's not a boy.
And I didn't touch him until he was 16.
Well, I didn't let him inside me until he was 16.
Not front doorsies, anyway.
Jesus, give me some more of that.
It's his mother.
She's jealous that one.
She doesn't like the fact that I'm 10 years older than her and I'm still pulling men.
Eileen, she doesn't like the fact that you're 10 years older than her and you're pulling her son.
They kicked me out.
You mean you were living with em? In his bedroom.
I took a pair of scissors to all his Kanye West posters.
Do you think that's wrong? Which part? My little girl hates me.
She doesn't hate you, Eileen, She just hasn't seen you in two years.
I've been in love, Karen.
Love is cruel.
Well, when it's illegal, yeah.
I've been so stupid.
I feel so embarrassed.
Sausages? Er, no.
Bacon? I could do some eggs.
I'm not reallyfry-ups.
Have you got a rice cake? No.
I could do beans on toast.
II'll get an apple later.
A mango maybe.
So, looking forward to tomorrow? Oh, were definitely doing that? What? Yeah, I've booked a cottage and everything.
- Haven't you taken Monday off? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, I'll ring in sick.
The plan is Sunday lunch with the gang.
- The gang.
- Then finish the weekend off with some sordid sex in the Cotswolds.
How does that sound? Sordid sex sounds good.
Listen, are you sure you want to go tonight? - What? - To the gallery.
Yeah.
Course.
Why are you asking me that? Well, you just seem, I don't know, a bit hesitant.
No, I wanna go.
Yeah, God, I love galleries, openings and stuff.
Art and that.
Bloody hell, I love all that.
We'll have fun.
- With the paintings? - Well, they're not paintings as such.
Oh, that's a relief.
- Give you a chance to meet some of my friends.
- Mmm.
And.
.
and they know all about art and.
.
and things? - Yeah, it'll be great.
- Yeah.
Can't wait.
- Are you sweating? - No.
I can turn the heating down.
Yeah, can you turn the heating down.
Sorry for slamming the door in your face.
Yeah, well I suppose it was a shock.
You can't stay.
Have I asked to stay? - No, but-- - No? - Well, no.
- Thank you.
Right.
Okay.
Sorry, mum, I So you don't want to stay then? - Just for a few days.
- No! - A week at most.
- No, mum, you can't.
He's left me, Lou.
Mummy's all alone.
Mum, you can't keep doing this.
You only ever remember you've got a daughter when you get dumped.
I'm not going through this again.
Through what again? Look, mum, it's a bad idea.
It just doesn't work out, you and me.
I always end up feeling terrible.
I don't know what else to do, Lou.
Well, I just think you should you know? What? Piss off.
After you've finished crying.
I mean, there's no hurry.
- You're doing what? - I'm going to a gallery.
No.
I've got a big night planned.
They've got a two-for-one down at the Marquis.
Buy two pints, get the third free.
Then we'll stagger over to New YorkNew York's, where its male wet T-shirt night.
It's going to be a classic, Donna, you can't miss it.
Okay, it sounds But er, Sam really wants me to go.
But it's Saturday night.
- Yeah, but the gallery'll be, you know, fun.
- No.
It'll be shit and boring.
If galleries were fun, Donna, you'd have to pay to get in.
- Are you serious? - Yeah.
But-- Look, sorry, Karen, it's just he's expecting me there now.
But it's Saturday.
Sat-ur-day.
If God didn't want you to get drunk on a Saturday, Donna, he wouldn't have created the Morning-After Pill.
Look, Donna, I've got nothing against Sam - but he's a bellend.
- He's not a bellend.
Have you checked his drawers? - I bet he's got matching cutlery.
- So? And you're not going to enjoy it.
They're going to talk about the war in Iraq and French cheeses.
Well, I can talk about French cheese.
Petit Filous isn't a French cheese, Donna.
They're going to crucify you.
Well, II'll just look at the pictures.
I mean pictures are nice, aren't they? - You're going to look at the pictures? - Yeah.
How long are you going to look at them for? What do you mean? I'm just gonna.
What, is there a certain amount of time that you're supposed to look? Oh, god.
Oh, god, this is going to be a nightmare.
I mean, Sams like a proper person.
He goes on group holidays and he calls dinner supper.
What if he realizes I'm not a catch.
You do know you're supposed to enjoy being with your boyfriend? I do enjoy belove being with him.
It's just spending time with him I find stressful.
So you're going to leave me with Louise and Eileen? Well, she can't be that bad.
Imagine Lynne Perrie crossed with Wolverine.
It's a miracle Louise turned out the way she did.
A shit miracle, but a miracle.
And so I said, I'm never gonna get that out of my ear, am I? That's in there for good.
- That's five pound, please.
- Mmm.
Hang on, I'll just get my purse.
Do one! Sorry about that, Pavlos.
Oh, thank you.
Thanks.
Thank you.
[DRINK SPILLS.]
[SNIFFS.]
Hi, I'mI'm Donna.
I'm er, Sam's girlfriend.
Wh.
.
who do you know here? - I work here.
- Oh, right.
Great.
How.
.
how much is.
.
is that one? Why, are you thinking of buying it? Yeah.
Yeah, I am, actually.
My boyfriend Sam's a photographer, and we like all - pictures, art work, posters.
- It's a lot of money.
- Just tell me how much it is.
- 55,000 pounds.
It's not much.
I mean, that'sI mean,.
.
it's worth it, isn't it? Its good.
What do you get for that? Do you get do you get the whole thing, because that I mean, do you get the thing it's its standing on, because that's I mean, do you get do you get the plinth because that's quite.
No, it's just the sculpture.
- How.
.
how much is the plinth? - The plinth's not for sale.
It's a pity.
What about that one? Yeah, it might be better to wait until we get to a club before making any moves, Eileen.
Less chance of ending up with a serial killer.
Skinzo doesn't look his age, so we don't really go to pubs.
More parties, you know.
He's trying to grow a moustache.
I wanna go home.
Look, he's got a friend, Lou.
We could move them in together.
He's about 50.
And he's dirty.
I like that in a man.
I'm not talking to him.
Just a thought.
It's a bit boring this, isn't it? I tell you what I'll just pop over and have a-- Eileen, don't go ov.
Why did you have to ask her out? What you talking about? She's fine.
She's gonna ruin my life again.
You might relax a bit more if you drank more booze instead of Orangina.
I need to stay sober.
Louise, we are going to have a laugh tonight, if it kills us.
Just relax.
- This is Max and this is Phil.
- Hello.
This is Karen, and this is Louise, my sister.
Don't we look alike? Ha-ha.
You talk to Max, Lou.
His wife's just died.
I've looked at them all.
Shall I look at them all again.
Donna, Donna, this is Alice.
- Hello.
- Oh, so this is Donna? I'm afraid so.
- I've heard a lot about you.
- Oh, it's all true.
Except the stuff about the pig wanking.
That's.
- What? - No, I was just I was just joking.
That's Rebecca Loos anyway, and she's a right slag.
Er, have you looked at all the art works? Oh, no, no.
Er, I don't think I'm gonna bother I know, they're a they're a bit shit.
having just spent the last six months in the studio with them.
This is Alice's exhibition, Donna.
- Is it? - Mmm.
Well done.
They're er I like the one, er you know, the one er over there, that.
Look looks like a big mouse.
What's that called? It's called My Mum's Cancer.
And er, what is it? It's my mum's cancer.
Okay.
Can I.
.
can I get you some wine? It's free.
I know.
I paid for it.
Let's get some wine, Donna, yeah.
- I'll come with you.
- Okay.
Er, okay, sorry.
Cards on the table.
I don't think they're shit, I think they're really good.
I just bad-mouthed them because I thought you might think they were shit, and I just wanted to get in with you.
Wow.
Now I really respect you.
[CLUB MUSIC PLAYING.]
You alright, Louise? This is a nightmare.
It's not psychologically healthy to have your mum do lesbian dancing with you to attract men.
She's gonna be dancing even more now.
I've just seen her slip an E up her arse.
I wanna go home.
Well, maybe she was just letting off steam.
I mean shes just split up with her fella, so its only natural for her to.
.
Oh, my god! Did I just see her drink her sick back out of that glass? Oh, no, not the never ending pint.
They'll chuck us out for that.
But it did look like a mouse, didn't it? It had big ears and and everything.
SAM: They weren't ears, they were tumors.
I can't deal with this, Karen.
Fucking hell.
Oi, leave it.
Leave it.
- She's not worth it.
- She hit me head.
- Are you alright? - Yeah, she should keep her arms to herself.
[CHURCH BELLS CHIME.]
[MACHINE WHIRS.]
Find anything interesting? No.
Er, no, I was er I was just looking at your cutlery.
Don't worry, it all matches.
Yeah.
It's lovely having you here, Donna.
Thanks.
It's lovely being here.
Sam, do you er Do you often do these you know, weekends away with your mates? No.
No more than once a month.
- More in the summer.
- Right.
You're not looking forward to it? Oh, no, definitely, I really I mean, I'm really reallySorry about last night, about Alice.
Don't worry about it, Donna, she's a psycho anyway.
Yeah.
And they were a bit rubbish.
No, they're brilliant.
- Are they? - Of course they are.
She's a genius.
Oh.
Listen, er, we've still got a few hours before - we're supposed to meet the others.
- Oh, yeah.
- So, what you doing now? - Why? - What do you have in mind? - Well I thought we could give Johnny and Kat a call and hook up early.
- Right.
- What do you think? II think er.
Do you remember where I put my laptop? Its busy! Oh, fucOh, Christ.
- Oh, bloody hell! - I'll be finished in a minute, Karen.
Eileen, have you been wearing my knickers? Oh, yeah, do you mind? I found them on the floor.
I haven't even washed these.
Oh, don't worry, I turned them inside out.
So have I.
But I don't understand why he has to borrow your computer.
- I mean, you've split up.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
I keep telling him, but what can you do? Well, don't be late.
I'll be as quick as I can.
Ah, don't be jealous.
I'm not.
- You are a bit.
- No, I just don't want us to be late.
Yeah, sure.
Mr.
Jealousy.
Look, we need to talk, Louise.
What is it? Let's sit down, shall we? It's about your mum.
She's a filthy slag.
Get her out of here.
[TV PLAYING.]
What is it? Miss Congeniality 2 .
Christ! I know.
You wanna cup of tea? Huh? No, no, I can't.
Er, cant I've gotta get back for this lunch thing with er with er - This is awful.
- Oh, it's stupid.
- As if you wouldn't see that's a wig.
- I know.
I know.
There's doughnuts in the kitchen.
Er, I can't.
I'veI've got to meet them by 12.
30 at the er.
Oh, for God's sake, that's ridiculous.
- Stupid.
- That's embarrassing.
I'm embarrassed for her.
I mean, its its supposed to be the FBI.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- The FBI wouldn'tYou know.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mum, mum, look.
What's this? I've been carrying this around with me for years.
I don't know why.
I meant to give it you when I got back from Ibiza.
It's one of those shitty donkeys.
It reminded me of you.
So beautiful and kind.
I feel proud of you, Lou.
You're the only thing I've ever done that's turned out right.
- Oh, mum.
- I know.
I know.
Don't worry love, I'm going.
Mum - That's shit.
- So lame.
What time is it, Karl? Twenty to two.
Mum's staying.
- What? - She's staying.
What are you talking about, Louise? She's a nightmare.
It's like living with me.
She's turning over a new leaf.
We've had a talk, and she needs to be here with me with her daughter, Karen.
I'm changing, Karen.
I'm just asking for a little help, that's all.
Wake up, Louise.
The moment some scumbag with a pair of balls walks in to her life, she'll be off again.
You're wrong! I won't be any trouble, Karen, I promise.
- No way! - If she goes, I go.
- Louise! - I mean it, Karen.
II know how you feel, Karen, but we've had a talk and II think I've been indulging in self-destructive behavior.
But that's over.
Just give me this one chance.
I don't believe this.
Alright, but I want my knickers back.
Not now! Hey! Eileen! Oh, my god, that's Skinzo.
He's found me.
LOUISE: How? EILEEN: H.
.
he must have seen the address I wrote down for him in his bedroom.
II'd better have a word with him.
He can get very nasty if he's been on the Breezers.
- How do I look? - No, you go upstairs and wait in the bedroom.
- Ill deal with it.
- No, perhaps maybe Should I go, Lou? Maybe I should-- No! I want you to be strong, mum.
I'll sort this out.
Come on, Karen.
Twenty to two? - I want my woman! - She's not your woman she's my mum, and she's not coming out.
You'd better get out of my face.
- Eileen! - It's over, Skinzo.
It's time to move on.
I don't wanna move on.
I love her.
She's the only woman I've felt sexually compatible with.
If you don't let me see her, I'm going to blow myself up.
With what? Petrol.
Louise, let me talk to him.
Listen, you runty little alcopopoholic, if you don't piss off, I'm gonna filet you with your own blade.
- Karen! - I'm not going anywhere.
Leenie! I love you Leenie! Skinzo, listen to me.
I know how you feel.
I know what it's like to be left, but this isn't the answer.
Eileen's made her decision.
It's not that she doesn't care about you, but she needs to move on.
I know it's hard to accept, but sometimes people need to do what's right for them and right now, what's right for my mum is to stay here with me.
She's never had time just to be herself.
Do you understand that, Skinzo? Look, she knows where you are.
Just give her this time to get her self-respect back.
Okay? - Babes! - Leenie! Oh.
Oh.
God, Sam, I am so sorry.
- Where have you been? - No, because the thing was, right I had to go to Karl's.
- You're nearly two hours late.
- Am I? God, I'm so sorry.
- What happened? - Well, the thing is, I got there and Have you seen Miss Congeniality 2? What you talking about? I mean, you can't believe how bad it is but you have to keep watching.
You've been watching a film? If you can call it that.
You are joking, aren't you? I mean, I've been sat here like a lemon for two hours.
I was worried about you.
That's so sweet.
Donna, are you sure you wanna be with me? - What? - Are you sure you wanna be with me? Sam, I just.
Look, alalright, look I don't know how to be with your friends.
- Okay.
- Try saying yes.
- I am.
- You're not.
Why wouldn't I want to be with you? You're great.
Donna, say yes.
What's the big? Okay, I I'm just taking a while getting you know, adjusting.
Then tell me you want to be with me.
I want to be with you.
Yes, there.
Yes, I'm saying yes.
Right.
Okay.
Good.
That's all I need to hear.
I mean, it's a shit film.
You're telling me.
I sat through it.
Well, come on, we haven't got much time.
What? We've got a train to catch.
Oh, were still doing that? Yeah.
Do you want to? Yeah, course.
Well, shall we go? Definitely.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Let's go now.
Oh shit! Oh, the laptop, it's still in my bag.
What? Its going to have to stay there.
We've got a train to catch in half an hour.
Yeah, but KaKarl really needs it.
And I really need you to catch a train with me.
- Because he's got a job interview on Monday.
- Donna! I want you to think about this very carefully.
Catch the train with me or return the computer to Karl.
I'm going to be 15 minutes, 20 at the most.
Right.
- 25 max.
- I'm going, Donna.
- No, but I'm going to catch you up.
- Bye.
No, but Sam, I'm Sam, I'm gonna run and I'll beI'll be really quick.
15 minutes at the most.
Get me a Twix.
God, it really makes sense when you've seen the first one.