Randall Hopkirk (Deceased) (1969) s01e06 Episode Script

My Lords Dorking and Surrey, I think that is conclusive.
Cor! Who is she, Jeff? Does it matter? Miss Berlin.
Yeah, here for the Cities Of The World beauty contest.
I wouldn't mind a job with that lot.
- Doing what? - Don't be ridiculous, Marty.
- Can't you fix it? - Fix it? How do you mean? Use your powers, put the 'fluence on.
Oh, Jeff.
I've got no control over that sort of thing.
- Yeah, but you never try.
- But it wouldn't work! You've got nothing else to do for a hundred years! Good morning, Jeff.
Sorry, Jeff.
I forgot.
- I said good morning.
- Er, good morning, Jean.
- Out of work again, are we? - Situation normal.
Any ideas? - He has ideas, but not how you mean.
- I've contacted the supernatural.
I've told you, it won't work.
All right, watch this.
Good morning, Randall and Hopkirk Investigators.
Yes The Cities Of The World beauty contest? Don't look at me! - My money's on Miss London.
- Oh, yeah? - Take a look at that Russian girl.
- Eh? I see what you mean.
Let's hope you end up with her.
- Eh? - I mean as an escort.
- I've already made sure I will.
- Mr.
Randall? Mr.
Randall, please? And Miss Moscow.
Influence.
- You've done all right for yourself.
- It doesn't matter who you get.
A little intelligence might help.
Who needs it? - I believe you know each other? - Yes, we've met.
Miss Moscow wishes to see the Tower of London.
- Good.
- And the Houses of Parliament.
Excellent.
Mrs.
Jean Hopkirk and Miss London, please.
This is Mrs.
Jean Hopkirk.
Miss London, Anne Soames.
Well, there is some difficulty here.
I suppose you've seen it all.
- The Tower of London, Westminster - Yes, I have.
But you must be seen around, photographed.
Yes, I do understand.
There is one place.
- Oh? - Public Records Office.
- Public Records? - The National Archives.
- Where all the documents are.
- The Magna Carta, Bill of Rights - I've never been there.
- That's settled.
First, I'll organise a chaperone for Randall and Miss Moscow.
Don't you think you're a bit late on that.
You can't be interested in all this tin rubbish? Why don't you come to my place for a cup of tea? I'll come, Jeff.
I'll come.
- It's an old English custom.
- A very old English custom.
I would prefer to see the Parliamentary Houses.
The Parliamentary Houses? Why don't you stay here and chat to your friends.
No, straight on here.
That's not the way to the Public Records Office.
No, but it's the Annexe I'd rather see.
- What, down by the river? - The valuable documents are there.
Well, you're the boss.
Why should you want to go there? This must be the room.
- You sure this is the right place? - Yes, positive.
- Doesn't seem a lot to see.
- Our collection is for scholars.
Even what you see there are reproductions.
The real stuff is down in the vaults.
Is there no way we can get to see that? Not without very special permission.
And for some documents, not even then.
It's restricted material.
Not to be published for 50 years.
- It's quite valuable, then? - Valuable? Miss, if you knew how to dispose of these documents to the right people you'd better off robbing this place than the Bank of England! She must have been in there five minutes.
Could it be trouble with the guard? That smacks of defeatism, My Lord Surrey.
Oh? And what's that supposed to mean, My Lord Dorking? Please, My Lords I appeal to you.
Assume everything is going to plan.
You know the importance of your task.
The supreme importance of this moment.
- For England.
- For England.
- He's ashore.
- OK, start the engines.
Well, there it is.
The mother of parliaments.
The mother of the western democratic parliaments.
What do you think of it? I think it is a symbol of bourgeois decadence.
You know, you could be right.
Now, how about tea? - Where? - I was going to suggest - How about my place? - This is where I came in! It might be interesting from a sociological point of view.
Jeff, that girl with Jeannie, I don't like it.
- Send me a postcard.
- But she's Jeff! Jeff, listen.
Jeff! Good, very good.
And another one over there.
There's something funny here, Jeannie.
I can't make it out.
Fine, that's it.
Mr.
Pargiter, I still can't understand how you came to be here.
Intuition, my dear, intuition.
Pure and simple.
- Rubbish! - A little to your left.
- Why do you ask? - It's part of my job.
I've been hired to forestall any unfortunate incidents.
Yes! Of course.
I'm looking for something studious.
- Do you have any glasses? - No.
- Try these.
- Try them on? No need.
Just hold them and look thoughtful as you're examining the documents.
- Like this? - Yes, just hold it like that.
I'm sorry, sir.
I shall have to stop you.
You're not allowed to take pictures in here.
Just one more? - All right, sir.
But make it quick.
- Yes, of course.
Now.
I'd like something relaxed, Miss Soames.
Show me more of your! That's the lot.
Thank you, Miss Soames.
Goodbye, my dear.
- Your glasses.
- Oh! Jeannie! Jeannie, she's cut the alarm cable! Jeff? Jeff? Jeff, are you here? Jeff? But I am not understanding.
It's just another old English custom.
Oh.
Tea? Jeff! - What's wrong, My Lord? - There's somebody watching us.
Maybe he can see the hole from there.
We take no notice of him.
Go and collect the file, My Lord Dorking.
Mr.
Randall Is it always like this, teatime, in England? Invariably.
Jeff! Get out! Oh! Right.
You've been hiding from me, haven't you? Mr.
Randall Never mind Mr.
Randall! Jeff, I've got to talk to you, it's vital.
Now! - No.
- Why not, Mr.
Randall? But it's life and death.
It It It's Jeannie! - Jeannie? - Jeannie? But my name is Natasha.
Natasha, darling Tea break's over.
- I am not understanding.
- It's another old English custom.
- Oh, but - The hall porter will get you a cab.
- But Mr.
Randall - And I'll phone you later.
- What? - Bye bye, darling.
What about Jeannie? Well, er, I was pulling your leg about Jeannie.
Jeannie's all right.
Hang on, wait a minute, Jeff! It had better be good, Marty.
There's been a robbery, of historical documents.
They're worth thousands! - What am I supposed to do? - Phone the police! All right, Marty.
How am I supposed to know about it? You'll have to take the case yourself, Jeff.
- Where do I start? - Anne Soames.
- Who? - Miss London.
She cut the alarm cable with her spectacles.
Next, please.
- What do you think, gentlemen? - Mm-hm, fine.
Thank you, Miss Budapest.
First I'll scream, then I'll hit you with this.
Relax.
- You've got me all wrong.
- You want to bet? OK, scream.
Or shall we discuss stolen documents with the police? I don't know what you're talking about.
- So scream.
- Who are you? Does it matter? I want those documents.
I must change.
There's a swimsuit parade.
Don't mind me.
You can still talk.
I don't have a screen.
That's my good luck.
- They're calling.
- Where are the papers? - How should I know? - You and Pargiter are both in it.
Look, I'm in a hurry.
Well, surely, you wouldn't be so ungentlemanly as to stay? Try me.
Look, Miss London, the linens Linen drapers - papers.
'Miss London, come to main reception please.
' Well, at least turn your back.
"Will you please turn your back?" Jeff, honestly! Where is she? Is there anyone else we haven't seen? - Yes, Miss Paris.
- Ah, thank you.
Please come forward.
All right, gentlemen? Thank you, Miss Paris.
- You shouldn't be here.
- Somebody got on to me.
- What? - One of the paid escorts.
I see.
You took precautions? I wasn't followed.
I circled half of London to get here.
I don't like the tone of your voice.
You remember who you're speaking to.
I agree with you, My Lord Dorking.
Well, the point is, we're in the clear.
Not exactly cosy, is it? Things will change, Miss Soames.
Yes, I'm sure they will.
- Well, what's the news? - What news? Where are the rest of the documents? - The rest? - You mean this is all you got? It's quite enough for our purpose.
You took those risks, involved me, for these? They're worthless junk.
No newspaper in the world will buy these! No! Stop her! I'm bound to take a serious view of your behaviour, Miss Soames.
Why not? I thought we were on a robbery with a cover story for these two fools.
Apparently, I was wrong.
You were wrong.
Which means you're serious about your ludicrous claims.
Deadly serious.
I mean what I say, Miss Soames.
I've no interest in financial profit.
None whatsoever.
Jeff? Marty? - Do you feel up to following her? - You what? Come on, pull yourself together! - What happened? - You turned your back on a lady.
- You were hit on the head.
- Who by? - Anne Soames, Miss London.
- Did I deserve it? The documents, Jeff.
You've got to get them back.
Oh, are they worth it? Of course.
They've never been published! If a newspaper got them, they'd be worth a fortune.
I guess you're right.
So Miss London has taken off with all the skeletons in the national closet.
And I've lost our only lead.
The trouble with you is you're too much of a gentlemen.
You ask Miss Moscow about that.
It's back to the start, eh? Off to the drawing board and the vaults.
- Jeff? - What's missing, then? Only medieval stuff.
I would have thought that was the least valuable.
- What about that ventilator? - I found the opening.
Let's go and have a look at that.
We came back from the Records Office and Miss Soames got changed.
- For the judging of the swimsuits? - Ah, yes.
And Randall didn't come back either? - He said it was business.
- This really is most irregular.
Do you imagine that they're together? - Well, how should I know? - You are a friend of Mr.
Randall's? - Yes - Most distressing.
Our committee will take a harsh view of this.
- You don't even know - Unless you find them, we'll recommend your fee be withheld.
- But - Now, I really am very busy.
Good day, Mrs.
Hopkirk, Miss Moscow.
That's the way they got in, Jeff.
- Yes, so it would seem.
- Shouldn't think anyone saw them.
Unless he did.
Yeah.
How do you do.
Been here long, have you? Most of the day.
You'll have seen them knocking that hole in the wall, then? - What did they look like? - Who? - The people who did it? - Like anybody else.
- What happened? - Ah, it's a long story.
I think it's gonna take a bit of bribery, Jeff.
Oh, Jeff! Just across the water, got it? I see their boat crossing.
I got it.
- Thanks for the information.
- Don't mention it.
"atque haec omnia terra de familia Pargiter.
" That's it! The missing link! The Pargiter family titles and lands were stolen in the 13th century by King John! So, it was all worth it in the end.
Worth it? Worth it? Just look for yourself.
Confirmed.
Descent by Salic law and bar sinister down to me! Harold XIV King of England.
Fine, I've got that.
Thanks very much.
Well? Court of officials gave me the address.
Yes, but how do we know it's the right boat? The old man's description was good.
It's all we've got to go on.
No harm in trying.
It'll be worse if it is the right place.
- Why? - Nobody knows you're going there.
- I'll tell Jeannie.
- She's not here.
- I'll phone when I get there.
- You don't know where she is.
She'll be back.
I've tried everywhere.
Anne Soames will be disqualified, you realise that.
- It's not my fault! - You were assigned to her! - And I brought her back.
- As you say, Mrs.
Hopkirk.
I was against using your agency in the first place.
It was only because of an extreme shortage of suitable escorts that - There's no reply.
- She might be at the hotel.
I can hardly call there, after ditching Miss Moscow.
Hang on, I'll have a look.
Miss New York, Miss Berlin, Miss Budapest, Miss Moscow - Mrs.
Hopkirk.
- Miss Perth Give it up, Jeff.
She's not there.
That's the place the boat's registered at.
Better take a look.
I still don't like you going in there without anybody knowing.
Who can I tell, the police? Miss Soames! We meet in the strangest places.
Ah.
- I wish you no harm whoever you are.
- That's nice to know.
I presume it's you who knows about the documents.
- That's right.
- That is unfortunate.
My Lords.
Hey, now take it easy.
Ladies first, My Lord.
Get up.
Get up! I'm afraid we haven't been introduced, Mr? Randall.
Twenty years' research, Mr.
Randall.
But it left me with one missing link, until today.
When you found it.
Atque haec omnia terra de familia Pargiter.
I'm afraid my Latin finished with amo, amas, amat.
A writ of second John, King John, illegally claiming title to the Pargiter fief.
Ah, you're a pretender to the throne.
You join a long line of cranks.
You, sir, are a heretic.
You're on the right track, Mr.
Randall.
Who else would pass up the chance to lay his hands on documents worth millions? When you're a king, what's a million? My Lords Dorking and Surrey, they must not trouble us again.
Come on.
- Please! - No scenes, my dear.
- We're sorry for you, of course.
- Help me out, I'm sorry for me.
You put the cat among the pigeons! If you'd stayed out of this Please, Miss Soames.
Have you no sense of occasion? - You got yourself into this.
- And you didn't? - No, I didn't.
- All right, I know it's my fault.
Don't worry, I'll make it up to you.
I will.
That's enough! Miss Soames, Mr.
Randall, the penalty for heresy is death by fire.
My Lords.
- For England.
- For England.
Over here, Charlie.
Quick as you can, men.
Over here, Charlie.
Over here! - Were you inside? - Yes, but I'd like to ask you a few questions.
At the station, if you don't mind.
I don't mind.
But I don't think the young lady will be too keen.
- Marty! - What are you hiding for? By the time we explain everything to the police Old King Cole will be miles away.
I see.
They're in the launch, heading towards Chelsea.
- We'll follow them.
- Keep alongside on the Embankment.
Right.
Come on, Marty.
We'll just get away before the police arrive in force.
It's no good, Jeff.
I can't see anything.
Hang on.
Jeff, there they are.
We've found them.
All right, what now? A shot across their bows? Oh, no.
We've lost them.
They could be anywhere down there.
Well, now what? Any ideas? Hang on, Jeff.
Look at those number plates.
"HAL 14", does that ring a bell? - Get after it.
- It may not be Pargiter.
- We'll look fools if it is.
- Bigger fools if it isn't.
Come on.
They're following, no doubt about it.
Faster, My Lord.
Hello, we've got company.
I suppose it's a good thing.
Yeah, as long as they don't stop us and let His Majesty get away.
Evasive action is our only chance.
Take the next side road.
- They've turned off.
- Yeah.
They're still behind us.
Look out! Get out of the way, you hear me? Get out of the way! Get lost.
OK, Jeff.
I'll leave this part to you.
Get out of it.
Don't bother, the police are behind me.
My Lord.
Your Majesty.
The reign's over, Pargiter.
- Unless you cooperate.
- Cooperate? - I've considered the matter.
- What matter? I'm willing to do it, Randall.
- Do what? - To To abdicate.
In your favour.
Mr.
Randall You didn't call me.
Well, darling.
It did get a little difficult and erm So you sorted it all out with the police, then, Jeff? I don't believe it.
Ah, excuse me.
- Jeannie! - So there you are.
Do you realise I've been looking for you all day? Jeannie, I can explain.
Jeannie! Now I see.
Now I know why you didn't call me.
- Teatime! - Natasha! Jeff Randall, we'll discuss mixing business with pleasure tomorrow.
Jeannie Marty.
Erm I'll see you tomorrow.
Why don't you have a cup of tea, Jeff? Don't mind if I do.
It's an old English custom, you know.
Is it really?