Rosehaven (2016) s01e06 Episode Script

1 I don't know why your mum wouldn't like me.
I'm your best friend.
- You trashed her house.
- I didn't do it.
I was just there when it happened.
I didn't get you in too much trouble, did I? Well, I'm too old to be grounded, but she's not happy.
- Should I make her a present? - No, no, no.
If you want to get back in her good books, and mine, actually, start being more professional.
Em! Sorry.
Professional.
Got it.
What if I made you guys one of those jars with the coloured sand? No, no, no.
Em, work stuff.
There's still nothing.
How long till they move out? The tenants.
Ridge Point Road.
Oh, sorry.
I was thinking about whether painted wooden spoons might be a good gift.
No, it's a terrible gift.
You can't use them as spoons anymore.
Um, eight days till they move out.
Right.
Mrs Marsh, have we had any enquiries about Ridge Point Road yet? Oh, shit.
Can't it just be empty for a bit? If it wasn't Mum's property, yes, but we need the rent money.
Well, someone will turn up.
Eight days is ages.
Yeah.
I was hoping Jim and Ryan would stay in there forever.
They're polite, tidy, pay their rent on time.
- Why don't you marry them? - I will.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- When's the wedding? - Tomorrow.
Emma, there's someone here to see you.
[BOTH.]
Really? Probably a sweet new tenant, here to sign a long-term lease and give me a thousand dollars for being a hot piece of ass.
Probably.
He says he's your husband.
Fuck.
Yeah, we know Even if we had so far to go Even if the pace is slow Well, I'll be coming home to you again If we find Something to feel that we belong If we could right all the wrongs Well, I'll be coming home to you again - Is he still out there? - Yeah.
You just said, "Daniel, my chambers", and pulled me in here.
Why today? Why can't he just live in a cave and never come out? Well, isn't this what you wanted? For him to come and beg for you back? No, I'm supposed to be looking beautiful and prepared and together and tall when he turns up.
- But I left my script at home.
- Your script? You know, it's just a few dot points, ideas, things that I might say if he ever turns up.
And I can't remember any of it.
I think "You wish" was in there.
But I can't remember what that was an answer to.
I almost hugged him.
When I saw him, I had an urge to hug him.
- What do I do? - Well do you want me to get rid of him? No.
Good, because I don't know how I was going to do that.
How do I look? Not that it matters.
- No, it doesn't matter.
- But? - Oh, uh, fine.
- You're terrible at this.
Sorry.
Emma.
Hello.
Hello.
Hi.
Is there somewhere we can talk in, uh, private? What for? Well, obviously, we need to talk about what happened.
- Hi.
Phil.
- Hello.
You've refused to answer my calls.
You left me no choice.
Not work calls.
They're talking about something else.
Yeah, that's all right.
I can come back at a different time.
You know why I'm here When we were married I'm interested in buying the house at 64 Hurtnall Road.
Okay, sorry, what was the address? - 64 Hurtnall Road - We always had our problems - Hurtnall Road.
Got it.
- Josh? Do you take Josh? Oh, see, it's difficult to recognise your face because last time I saw you it was the back of your head walking away from our honeymoon without me.
Em, please, do you know what it took for me to come here? - Phil, I can't seem to find it - An hour and a half flight? Would it be better if I came back at another time? - I came here to talk about - No, no, no.
I can help you.
Guys, you obviously have a lot to discuss, so can you take it outside, please? [DOORBELL CHIMES.]
- When are you going to do it? - Do what? - Yell.
- Yell? Why would I yell? And in public? That'd be very immature.
This isn't really that public.
What, do five people and a duck live here? Just yell.
You know you want to.
So what can I do for you? Okay.
- I don't know where to start.
- Yes.
- Now I've thought about this a lot.
- Yes.
I had to come find you.
We couldn't leave it like that.
- Now, I know now I did the right - You made a mistake.
Oh.
Oh, no, I don't think we should get back together.
- [YELLING.]
- Right, um Sorry about that, Phil.
Hurtnall Hurtnall Road.
I can't actually seem to find it listed.
- It might not be for sale.
- I'm sorry? Yeah, I drive past it quite a bit and I like the look of it.
Okay.
Phil, I can't sell you a house that's not for sale.
Well, doesn't everything have a price? - Well - [YELLING CONTINUES.]
I mean, um, I can make an enquiry for you, or? I know who lives there, if that'd help.
But you haven't asked them? Rather leave it to the professionals.
Just so I have this straight, you're not here to win me back.
It's time to be honest.
This is hard for me.
- You can be intimidating.
- Hard for you? Intimidating? I am a smile with hair.
Sorry, I'm just confused because I thought you were embarrassed because I was pathetic and stole a lobster.
- I was angry.
- I was there.
Look, the good news is, we're through the worst part.
You are not allowed to come here and say things like, "The good news is".
- What are you even doing here? - I need you to forgive me.
That's why I'm here.
I need closure.
- What? - After what happened.
Stop saying "what happened" like it was some kind of natural disaster and not something that you did.
- Okay, okay, after what I did - Yes.
I just needed to make sense of it all.
In couples therapy.
- In what? - For us.
What do you mean, for us? Did you go without me? Yeah, I played your part, too.
You had a voice.
Oh! No, no, Frank, I'm not trying to sell your house out from under you.
Well, I don't think that language is necessary.
- He hung up.
- He was pretty mad, eh.
Yeah, he was furious.
He doesn't want to sell.
Phil, I do have some properties in that price range.
Nah, don't worry about it.
I wasn't really interested in that one, tell the truth.
I just knew it'd piss Frank off to ask him.
- What? - It's a joke.
He's paranoid the whole town's trying to get rid of him.
I just like to stir the pot every now and then.
Do your own prank calls, Phil.
- I need you to be adult about this! - That's the problem, is it? Needing me to be an adult? Heaps of people don't know what superannuation is, Josh.
- It's planning for your future.
- 'Cause you know what? Actually, I've changed, and you don't know me and I have a new job here and I am professional and actually, I have to get back.
Em.
Em! I'm sorry for what happened, but you have to realise it was for the best.
Please.
Just forgive me.
It's important, for both of us.
And I'm not leaving until you do.
Well, then I guess you're not leaving.
I need a watch.
Did he do a good apology? Terrible.
I need a watch.
- Do you want to talk about it? - No.
Why aren't there any watches in here? Well, you've got a phone.
Em, do you want the rest of the day off? No, I want to do work.
That tenancy, that Let's work on that.
Well, we have.
No one wants a three-bedroom house right now.
Well, let's What if these ones didn't move? Let's convince them to stay.
No need to find new tenants.
Problem solved.
- Well, yeah, but how? - Well, can I meet them? Are we allowed to go see them? Well, it's a bit weird to just pop round there.
I mean, they're so clean, they'd probably like.
Okay, let's go.
I'll drive.
It's beautiful.
Well, you'd think four years in a place would leave more of a mark.
These windows are so clean, it's like they're not there.
Huh! I bet you're going to miss this place, unless you stay on.
Subtle.
Can I ask why you're moving? Is it for work? No, our stuff's all online.
We can live anywhere.
We'll be sad to leave, but just time for a change.
Yeah, a change is as good as a holiday.
Well, not necessarily.
I mean, you might change into a werewolf.
- Attack someone.
- Have you found somewhere else yet? Short answer is city.
We'll figure it out when we get there.
Oh, I guess if you like pollution or being mugged, then that is the place to go.
Do you know, I was googling heroin this morning - I had them.
- Oh, the werewolf stuff? Perfect.
Being unique and original is still being professional.
Yeah, as a personal challenge, let's not mention fictional monsters anymore when talking to clients.
If I think a longma is going to close a deal - A what? - A longma.
What's that? It's a horse with wings that's covered in dragon scales.
- So it's a dragon.
- No, it's a horse with dragon scales.
If it can fly and it's got dragon scales, it's a dragon.
- It's got a horse's head.
- Why? Because it's a longma.
Hey.
- Josh, hi.
- Hey.
- Still still here? - Yep.
- Did you want to come in or? - Yeah.
We'd love that, but it wouldn't be conducive to the office environment.
- Oh, I understand.
- But you can leave whenever you want.
- You're really good at that.
- I'll stay.
I'm not kidding, Em.
Oh, sorry, I've gotta go to a meeting.
- [DOORBELL CHIMES.]
- How are you, Daniel? Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty good.
- You? - Yeah, I'm okay.
You, um, seen the trailer for - Daniel! - All the best.
- He won't leave.
- I noticed.
He won't leave until I forgive him.
So I guess he's moved here.
Do not give him a job.
- Don't you want to sort things out? - Why should I? He doesn't want me back, and he wants to be guilt-free as well.
No.
Now, we're busy.
I'm busy.
These tenants.
I want them to stay too, but they already said it's time for a change.
Their mouths said that, but their eyes said, "Change is only one of several options.
" Okay, fine.
Let's think about this.
Why should they stay? Everyone has three main sections, work, life, love.
They've got love sorted.
- Good for them.
- Work's not keeping them here.
So it's life, which is all the other stuff.
We just remind them how great living in Rosehaven is.
I mean, they've loved it once, they can love it again.
- That's true.
Sorry.
- They will love it again.
You ruined that.
- How far is it? - It's just at the end of the street.
I think, Em if you really think about it, you'll realise you're not mad at me.
I'm not mad, I'm busy.
Official real estate business.
Sorry.
Oh, hi.
- Stacey? - Hi.
Hi.
What are some cool places to visit around here? Cool? Good luck.
Everything's pretty terrible.
- Hm? - Are you allowed to say that? Are you from Trip Advisor? [SIGHS.]
That's everything.
Um, do you have any recommendations? Well, are you into old prisons or places where we did really horrible things to Aboriginal people? - No.
- No.
Then it's pretty much craft or plants.
Well, what about the rock formation right outside of town? - That's over four million years old.
- It's no Great Barrier Reef.
- What? - Can you tell us more about it? Absolutely.
It has an array of marine creatures that includes 600 types of soft and hard coral - and more than 100 species of - No, no.
Sorry, she meant the rock formation, not the reef.
I used to work there.
It's so beautiful.
Well, Tasmania's pretty beautiful too, so - Did you Why would you leave? - I followed a guy here.
Yeah? No way.
Me too.
He just sits at home getting workers' comp while I'm stuck here peddling a lavender farm.
Which is actually an excellent day out.
You can't see it from outer space.
There are a lot of cool things you can't see from outer space.
- Disneyland - This your boyfriend? Oh, no, we're just friends.
My husband's outside.
- Right.
- Can I take some of those? - Go nuts.
- This is going to be perfect! You don't deserve to sit there.
I finished that rainforest puzzle you gave me.
Two days.
Mum treats relaxation as a competition.
Can you get me another one? Not as easy this time.
I'll get you a 10,000-piece one that's just sky.
Emma, no craft at the table.
- Oh, it's not craft, it's - Oh, and Gez from the Op Shop rang.
She says you may have a stalker.
That's my husband.
Come to win you back? Not exactly.
Let me give you some advice.
You're responsible for your own happiness.
And never fight in my office in front of a customer again.
Is that from the Bible? Ah, here they are, the guests of honour.
Oh, this is really kind of you.
I don't think I've heard of a real estate agent throwing a going away party for their tenants before.
- Oh, don't mention it.
- Nice banner.
Thank you.
Why don't you grab a drink? We're going to start soon.
This is going to be so great.
They're on the edge of staying.
- I can feel it.
- Yeah.
- Oh, good, Stacey's here.
- What? - Why? - To talk about the town.
She doesn't even like it here.
- Hey.
- You made it! So I'm going to introduce you and Daniel will work the PowerPoint.
Feel free to throw in your own knowledge.
Anything you think could help.
Just keep it positive, remember? She can't be positive.
Nestled in the picturesque Tasmanian south, Rosehaven is a beautiful and welcoming town with a fascinating history.
I know the drill.
Always up for free beer.
Daniel, get her a pint.
I'm getting the cheapest one.
Hello.
Sorry.
Can I have everyone's attention? We are going to start now because obviously we are here tonight to say goodbye to Jim and Ryan, and they will be saying goodbye to Rosehaven, if they want.
Anyway, um, a lot of people are really going to miss Jim and Ryan, not least of all their neighbours, like Tess.
Tess, would you like to say something to the guys? I saw you pick a plum off my tree once.
I didn't mind.
What community spirit! Thank you, Tess.
And, uh, Tony.
Oh, I mean, I bet you'll miss old Tone, right, guys? Um, I don't think we ever formally met.
Our houses are pretty far apart.
Oh, I wave sometimes.
You get home late.
Okay! Thanks, Tone! What about Nancy? Where's Nancy? She's got some stories.
CNN labelled the Great Barrier Reef one of the seven natural wonders of the world.
It has 1,500 different species of fish.
Well, I hope climate change kills them all.
You take that back.
Look, that big rock is Gerald's Formation, and it's a slice of Earth's history.
It'll still be there long after we're gone.
So I guess there'll be no one around who gives a shit about it.
- Just like now.
- You know what? Give me the script.
Be my guest.
Magical place.
Please welcome your favourite info booth Rosehaven expert, Stacey Walsh! Daniel McCallum! [APPLAUSE.]
Hi.
Thank you.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I came back to Rosehaven from the mainland - because - [MAN.]
Couldn't hack it! this town holds a special place in my heart.
Rosehaven was founded in 1810, when one settler, Frederick Rose got separated from the main group after a gust of wind took his hat.
Yeah, I'm not sure how it works.
- It dries slipperier, I guess.
- Hey.
Damien, what are you doing here? Oh, Dave lost his keys to the cellar, so Oh, right.
Well, hi.
This is nice, isn't it? You've met.
Yes, Damien was just talking to me about anti-climb paint.
Yeah.
Well, I'm home tomorrow, Emma.
Okay.
That's nice.
See ya, bro.
He seems nice.
- Yeah.
- Odd.
- He's a hoarder.
- Mm.
- Are you two seeing each other - I can do what I want.
Yeah, I know you can, but I should be able to as well.
- I mean, clearly you've moved on.
- No, I haven't.
And even if I had, it doesn't make any difference.
- Yes, it does.
- No, it doesn't.
Do you know what, actually, I've got to get I've got work.
Pretending to be mature is the most immature thing you've ever done.
Well, I'm not pretending, so you can eat shit! Rosehaven's incredible rock formation, Gerald's Formation, just at the outskirts of our town, is over four million years old.
- [STACEY.]
It's no reef! - Yeah, the reef can eat shit! Anyway, that is why I, Daniel McCallum of McCallum Real Estate, open 9am to 5pm Monday to Saturday, love Rosehaven.
Thank you, Daniel.
I'd just like to say, to me, Rosehaven is great because of the people.
So welcoming to new visitors like me and my husband.
You might not have met Josh yet, but he lives here indefinitely.
You won't let me go! Well, why don't we end it there so you guys can talk? No, you're a part of this too, Daniel.
- Here we go! - I'm not.
I could never get between the two of you.
- Em and I were never that close.
- We got married! We can have this conversation off stage.
- And you ran off! - Yeah, I know what I did was wrong! What am I supposed to do? Stay married? Hey, what you're doing now is wrong too, mate.
Em will forgive you when she's ready, not when you are.
Uh, that concludes the presentation, everyone.
That last part was a sketch.
Would Jim and Ryan like to say a few words? - Let's wrap it up.
- Jim and Ryan.
Uh, wow, that was very passionate.
Um, thank you very much.
We've been overwhelmed by all the love and support from the community, and Rosehaven's certainly a very special place to live.
And We'll miss it very much.
Well, thanks again.
I should get going.
Oh, did Ryan already leave? Yeah, yeah.
He wasn't feeling too well.
- Oh, no, that's no good.
- No, no, no, he's fine.
Are you okay? I hate that he's here, but I don't want him to go.
Yeah.
Socialising after a break-up is hard.
Honestly, that's why Ryan left.
What? - Yeah, we broke up.
- Tonight? No, no.
No, a month-ish ago.
That's why we're moving out, you know.
We just wanted to keep it private.
I am so sorry.
We've been trying to get you to stay.
Yeah, the banner clued us in.
You should leave as quickly as possible.
I don't know how you've been able to live together when you've been broken up this whole time.
It's okay.
There's still a lot of love there.
I mean, yeah, I'm sure there is, but what kind of love? I mean, it changes when you break up and you know, people break up for a reason.
Yeah, a stupid reason, most of the time.
No.
It's important reasons.
You can't settle.
- If there's something wrong - We should work it through, I know.
- No, I mean - He's a great guy.
- But there'll be someone else.
- Yeah, who's not him.
Exactly! You're right.
I'm going to go talk to him.
What? No.
Hey.
Hey.
Em, I'm sorry for coming down here and demanding anything.
- I'll leave first thing tomorrow.
- No.
You want me to stay? I don't know.
If I forgive you and you go, then I'm just a woman in a town for no reason.
You have a reason.
- It's one of the oldest rocks - We're just friends.
- You know - I know, I know.
But watching you today, you had purpose.
You looked happy.
What do we do? - Do you want to come back with me? - What? Do you want to get back together? Go back to Melbourne? Uh, I don't know.
Um, it's really sudden.
You're going to make me say it.
I thought you'd let me not say it, but I don't think you were ever in love with me.
It's okay.
I know you really wanted to be.
And I'm sorry for the way it ended.
I forgive you.
- I'm proud of you.
- Mm.
- I got you something.
- What? Well, I got it out of my bedroom, but it should do for the time being.
Is this crazy? I don't want him to die, but I never want to see or hear anything about him ever again.
No.
Like, I don't want him to die, just out of existence.
- Okay, well, that's death.
- No, not death.
Like, if someone teleports in a movie, they're not dead.
Yeah, but they reappear somewhere else.
Well, that's I want him to go somewhere.
- [DOORBELL CHIMES.]
- Hey, how's it going? Good.
Sorry to make more paperwork for you guys, but we'd like to renew our lease.
Yes.
Great.
Uh, no problem.
Um, I will organise that and be in touch.
- Great.
- Great.
- Cheers.
- Brilliant.
[DOORBELL CHIMES.]
- That is bull shit.
- Em, it's great news.
It has to work out for everyone else, doesn't it? Yeah, and us in this scenario.
So I guess we're celebrating tonight, are we? - Uh actually I was going to um - What? - Nothing, I can cancel.
- What? I was going to, um, catch up with Grace tonight.
That's not a great look for customers.
Yeah, why don't you just let me Who still puts corks in wine? No! [GROANS.]
Come on! Ooh! - I heard what you did.
Good job.
- Oh, thanks.
I mean, they're good tenants.
I wasn't talking about the tenants.
Can I have some more? I am assuming you're here because McCallum Real Estate is [BLOWS LIPS.]
We're gonna have to make some cuts.
His mum is the reason you guys are able to practice.
McCallum Real Estate will no longer sponsor the Rosehaven Ravens.
- You did the right thing.
- Really? Because I thought I just made 20 kids cry.
Daniel, there's some people outside who might want to talk to you.
It's amazing, isn't it? It's very nice.
Maybe if it had some coral attached to it I give up.