Rosemary and Thyme (2003) s01e06 Episode Script

1 Oh, that's magnificent.
There's nothing basically wrong.
We just need to get rid of dead wood.
It's not just the yew tree, though, is it? Look at the rest of it.
Oh dear, oh dear.
How did it get into this state? It's neglect, I'm ashamed to say.
The curse of the multiple parish.
Too many churches and not enough people to look after them.
Well, what you need is not people, it's a herd of goats.
Is that what they used in the Middle Ages? Oh, no, no.
Absolutely not.
That's why churchyards were enclosed to keep the animals out.
To stop them eating the yew trees and poisoning themselves.
Anyway, the question is, do you think you can do it in time? Well, when is that by? For the Baffington Fayre.
Oh, what do you think, Rosemary? No, that's a bit tight.
Why by then? It's just that our benefactor is absolutely potty about anything medieval.
Mr Danvers would like the whole village looking perfect by then.
Well, I'd feel a lot happier if there wasn't a yew tree involved.
Why? They call it the "tree of death".
Oh, do they? Creepy, isn't it? £9.
20p, guv.
Keep the change.
Morning! Franklin Danvers.
You must be Rosemary Boxer.
How do you do? Laura Thyme.
Welcome to Baffington.
And this is Harriet Luke, my parish secretary.
He actually means my research assistant.
Keith and I fight over her.
I keep telling him it's high time he got a wife instead of saddling poor Harriet with all the parish scone-buttering.
Ready for our first archery practice, Keith? Oh, goodness, I forgot.
Did you say archery? For the fayre.
We're re-enacting a medieval battle.
Yes, see you later.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
The Middle Ages are a little indulgence of mine.
Did the Vicar tell you I was completely loony about everything medieval? Potty.
Oh, that's a new one.
Maybe you'd like to come up to the house.
I've got an old print of the churchyard as it was.
That would be useful.
Yes, let's.
Thank you.
Come this way.
There's a property along here that I'm interested in.
I'm planning to open a medieval agricultural museum.
This is it.
Brocketts Farm.
But, unfortunately, I've got competition.
Oh, who from? A drug company, would you believe.
Knussens.
Heard of them? Yes, but that's not drugs, exactly.
They're big on herbal remedies.
Natures Way isn't that their slogan? One of their chaps is coming to a meeting tonight.
You could come, just in case he tries to blind us with science.
(DOG BARKS) Right, gather round, everyone.
Those of you who have never done this before, listen in carefully.
This is a dangerous activity and it's important you pay attention.
So, the orders you will hear are Nock the arrow.
Draw the bow.
Aim.
When you feel you're on target Shoot.
(APPLAUSE) Baffington Church, circa 1820.
There we are.
Should give you some idea of how it used to look.
Oh, thank you, that will give us something to work from.
Ow! This is incredible.
You really are potty about it, aren't you? Well, I think of myself as a scholar.
Don't suppose you've read my books on the great battles, Crecy, Poitiers, Agincourt? They weren't on the horticultural syllabus, I'm afraid.
I've also written about the Battle of Baffington, too.
Is that the one you're going to re-enact here? In so far as I can, given such troops as I can muster in this day and age.
Right.
Sorry, could you just go through that one more time? OK.
So, you nock the arrow.
Nock? It's the plastic bit on the end of the arrow.
Careful, because they fall off easily.
OK.
They're in good hands.
Lyall's my estate manager.
Former archery champion and fellow enthusiast.
Draw the bow.
Aim.
Shoot! Miss Sutton.
I just can't do it.
It's dangerous.
Someone might get killed.
That's Marie Sutton, she's the owner of Brocketts Farm.
Doesn't look cut out to be one of the bowmen of Baffington.
No.
Not cut out to be anything much.
Incapable of making up her mind.
Whether to sell to me, whether to sell to Knussens or whether to sell the farm at all.
Does she have to sell? Well, she couldn't handle it on her own, not since her father died, and she's fazed by the legal problems.
Legal problems? The farm was left to her and her older brother.
Spectacular! Family rift or something? That, certainly, but the real problem was her brother couldn't be traced, so she couldn't sell till the legal search time had elapsed, and it just has.
How long has he been missing? Five, seven years, something like that.
Left suddenly, under a cloud.
Went off to the Far East, I believe.
Hasn't been seen since.
I want to assure you that Knussens' plans for the Brocketts sites will be both eco-friendly and helpful to the welfare of this village.
We plan on expanding the existing plantation of yew trees at Brocketts Farm.
Where's Marie? You'd think she'd be here.
Because we are developing a new, natural anti-cancer treatment that's based on a derivative that's found in the bark of yew trees.
Oh, my God, this is all we need.
Why? Who is that? That's Marie's brother, Malcolm Sutton.
The black sheep returns.
Well, don't mind me.
Carry on.
I'm interested to hear what you propose to do with my land.
Not that you'll be getting it, of course.
What are you doing here, Sutton? We'd all rather hoped our village was shot of you for ever.
A short speech of welcome was made by Mr Danvers.
Get that down, Harriet.
So, what's prompted this visit? Revenge? Old scores? Nostalgia.
Family commitments.
Does your sister know you're here? Might.
Might not.
But it's her best interests I'm here to protect.
YOUR best interests, you mean.
And who do you reckon you're protecting them from? You.
Him.
Anyone who's only offering beer money for Brocketts.
That land is worth a king's ransom.
I made a very reasonable offer for it.
Oh, yes.
A reasonable offer for a medieval theme park.
Museum.
Museum? Or a herbal remedy factory.
But not for a housing site.
(MURMURING) You'll never get your sister to agree.
Oh, I think I can.
In fact, I have something here which might even persuade you.
County council's new planning policy for this area.
Government approved.
Over my dead body.
Malcolm, you're not serious? I've never been more serious in my life.
You know me, Harriet.
If I say something You've said things before.
Promised me things.
Malcolm.
That got everybody interested, didn't it? I'm sorry for involving you in all this embarrassment, I really - That man's got a bloody nerve! Oh, come on, Harriet.
Now I'll be more financially settled, you and I can pick up where we left off.
You can't put us through all that again.
Erm Harriet.
I think perhaps we should write the minutes up now, while they're still fresh in your mind.
See you later.
Do you want another? Bed.
Then make an early start in the morning.
The sooner we start the sooner we can get out of here.
This place is creepy.
Somewhere else, if you insist.
I'll meet you in the churchyard, then.
All right.
See you there, Sunshine.
(CLOCK CHIMES) What are you doing? Good luck.
Not if you're a spider, it isn't.
Uh-oh! A gun.
(GASPS) Oh, my God! What did I say? The tree of death.
So, Detective Inspector Flannery, have you found the bow that shot the arrow yet? There's a tradition in these situations that the police ask the questions.
I know that.
I've been a policewoman.
My ex-husband still IS a policeman and so is my son.
Ah.
Well, in that case, I think I can tell you that we haven't found the bow.
No.
We just have the arrow.
You do know where the arrow came from, don't you? Could have been shot from anywhere.
Churchyard's so overgrown.
No, no, I mean originally.
It presumably came from Franklin Danvers' collection.
Your husband a copper, too? No, I'm not married.
Nor am I now.
Would either of you happen to know if anyone in this village might have anything against Malcolm Sutton? Well, how long have you got? Thank you very much, ladies, you've been most helpful.
Most helpful.
Good morning.
Mr Lyall.
(Do you think Do you think we should have mentioned Sunshine?) Sunshine? Mm, the person Malcolm Sutton was calling last night.
Oh, see-you-in-the-churchyard Sunshine! Can't believe that's anyone in this village.
I can't believe it.
I thought my security was watertight.
So, it was definitely one of your arrows? Yes, it was, and one of my bows is missing.
Oh.
Have you told the police? Oh, yes, of course.
Do you think it had anything to do with Brocketts Farm and the wood? It's certainly a place worth having.
They're interviewing your man Lyall at the moment.
Yes, well, he's definitely got the requisite archery skills.
What would be his motive? Well, I think Lyall's been holding a candle for Harriet Luke for some considerable time so he would have a score to settle with Malcolm.
Or Malcolm would have a score to settle with him.
True.
I mean, there was a gun.
Yeah, he always made out he was something big in the underworld.
Mr Danvers, could I ask you, Lyall has anyone ever given him the nickname Sunshine? Only in the same way you might call a dwarf Lofty.
Oh, right.
Oh, so this is what all the fuss is about.
Brocketts Wood.
The yews are over there.
You can see why Knussens want it, though, can't you? Plentiful supply of raw material and all on their own doorstep.
Hello.
That looks like someone's been taking a sample.
(DOG BARKS) No! Stay! Stop, stop.
Sit! Ssh! Down.
Sit! Tioch, come here.
Oh, Miss Sutton.
Oh, it's you two.
I hope we're not trespassing.
Very sorry about your brother.
These things happen.
I suppose you think I killed Malcolm, so that I don't have to split my inheritance.
The police think I did it.
They were round here this morning, looking for the missing longbow.
They say in the pub, for what it's worth, that Lyall was the culprit.
No, couldn't be.
Aah, this doesn't look too healthy.
Would you like me to take it away and give it a face-lift? Oh, yes, please.
It's got sentimental associations.
My father gave it to me the Christmas before he died.
Ah, well, I'll do my best.
Thank you.
So, who do you think was the culprit, Marie? I shouldn't really be making accusations.
Why not? Everyone in the village is.
All right.
The thing between her and Malcolm was common knowledge.
They were about to marry, then Malcolm got cold feet and cooked up this pathetic story about some gang being after him and vanished.
She's been very bitter ever since.
Oh? Harriet.
Sorry.
Of course.
Harriet Luke.
(DOORBELL RINGS, DOG BARKS) Good morning, Marie.
I came to offer my condolences for your dreadful tragedy.
You don't do that, do you? Do what? Go round after someone's brother's been murdered and say your piece, not unless you know them really well.
Maybe Mr Linton does know her really well.
Hold on.
Wergh! Whoa! All right.
Yes, that's what I thought, but then why would he be so formal, unless that was for our benefit, or he was there to say something else? I have an idea what that might have been.
This is nice.
What do you think? They've got some deal going? Well, I think it's all to do with the yew tree in the wood.
Somebody's been tampering with them and what's more, Marie did not expect to see us there but she was expecting someone.
Linton.
Hm.
Maybe.
Woo! Can we have, er, "Percy-phone"? Persephone! Oh! Aren't you up on your flower-gathering goddesses? No, I was away that day.
Ooh, she would liven up the churchyard.
Have you got a list of the tools we're going to need? Yeah.
Er bow-saw, ladder - (TYRES SQUEAL) Oh, Franklin will have those.
Yeah.
Machete.
Oh, for heaven's sake, what is the rush? You don't have to drive so fast in this thing, it's dangerous.
Don't worry, our guardian angels are looking after us.
Lyall's workshop is over here.
Not normally my bailiwick.
Sorry, but you said if we needed anything I meant it.
My pleasure.
Anything I can do.
Oh, wow! Is that how a longbow is made? That fellow do you? Just the job.
Guvnor, they asked me where I was last night.
I said here, and you'd confirm it.
That all right? Fine, yeah, of course.
Who let you in there? Well, as you were in - The police station being arrested for murder, I wouldn't be back! Now, hang on, they had nothing on you.
One of our bows.
An arrow with my fingerprints on? Someone is trying to pin this killing on me and I want to know who.
Well, we all want to know that.
I'm not the only one capable around here of shooting an arrow.
You saw.
What, you mean Harriet? Harriet would never do anything No, no.
Her fancy man.
Which fancy man? She has so many.
Well, the vicar, of course.
They've had something going for months.
Haven't they, Mr Danvers? Just village gossip, for God's sake.
Come on, you two.
(SAWING) There's not much point bringing those in until we're ready.
What do we do with them in the meantime? Leave them in the Land Rover.
What, overnight? They'll get nicked! What, in a law-abiding little village like Baffington? Oh, yes, the nearest they get to crime is taking pot shots at each other with bows and arrows.
I wonder where the arrow was fired from.
From the position of his body, it must have come from that direction.
Hey! Pssst, pssst.
Harriet.
Oh, yeah.
You go and talk to her.
I've got my hands full here.
Oh, hi.
What are you doing here? Oh, I'm sorry, the vicar said we could use this as our base.
Did he just? I hope you're not too upset.
And why should I be? Well, because I see.
It's started, has it? The village tittle-tattle? Well, in a village like this you can't really help people talking.
True.
Baffington's gone mad.
Everyone talking about me and Malcolm.
Asking who was in the vicinity of the church.
Good.
Well, if everyone's doing it, I can, too.
What? Ask you if you were in the vicinity of the church last night.
No! I certainly wasn't.
And if you don't believe me, ask the vicar.
Now, if you'll excuse me, we have choir practice.
(SCRAPING) (SCRAPING CONTINUES) (SAWING) Oh, hello.
Doctor Livingstone, I presume.
I didn't know there was a door there.
Laura, Laura, stand to the side.
Whoever forced this door had a direct line of fire to where Malcolm was shot.
(PIPE ORGAN PLAYS) Now is the month of May When merry lambs doth play Fa la la-la la-la la-la-lah Fa la la-la la la-lah Basses, you get that wrong every time.
La la la-la la la lah Mr Winthrop, could you play the bass line again, please? (ORGAN SQUAWKS) What on earth is that, Mr Winthrop? I don't know.
It was all right yesterday.
It'll sort itself out.
Can you play round it? I'll try.
All right, everyone, from the beginning.
And two, and three Now is the month of May When merry lambs doth play Fa la la-la la-la la-la-lah Fa la la-la la la lah Now is the month of May When merry lambs doth play (ORGAN SQUAWKS) (SINGING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE) (SINGING AND ORGAN SQUAWKING) There you are.
I told you it would be all right.
I can't thank you enough for finding this.
All part of the service.
Please call me Laura.
Thank you, Laura.
You see, some of us understand about police work and fingerprints and things.
Of course.
Unlike my friend here, who probably thinks Lyall is our murderer.
We know he isn't because he has got an alibi from Franklin Danvers.
Who has an alibi from Lyall.
Which would follow.
Unlike Marie Sutton and Mr Linton who've got no alibi at all.
No! Well, we must be on our way.
Got to get on.
Thank you again for your inspired police work.
Pleasure.
(How did you know that Marie and Linton didn't have an alibi?) I didn't, but I do now.
It pays to have goodwill with the boys in blue.
Goodwill? Infatuation.
That's coming along, except for this bloody thing.
Ooh, how's the patient coming on? She's come through very well.
Good.
A-ha! The nock.
So, now we know where the shot was fired from.
Yes, we know the where and we know the how, but we don't know the who.
Oh, look, look, look what I've found.
Where is it? Here.
Come here.
Look at this.
Knussens' share price plummets.
Poor sales.
The company's best hope for recovery is pinned on the development of a new anti-cancer treatment.
So So, what that means is, the pressure on Linton to do a deal with Marie Sutton is even greater than we thought.
Our Mr Linton here we are.
Just a minute.
Our Mr Linton must be feeling a bit of Oh, my Go goodness.
What? The last Christmas present Marie Sutton got from her father.
All right.
Sunshine was my father's pet name for me.
So, it was you Malcolm rang from the pub.
So? That doesn't mean I killed him.
I just presumed he wanted to meet to talk about the sale of Brocketts Farm.
But when I got to the churchyard, well, there he was.
Under the tree.
It wasn't till I got close and I saw the arrow that I realised what had happened.
I was scared.
I just ran away.
(VEHICLE APPROACHES) So, Marie, are you sure you didn't see anyone else near the church? Well, just when I was parking the car I did see two other people, yes.
Ah, my logs from Mr Danvers.
He's been very kind to me.
So, who were they? Sorry? Who did you see in the churchyard? Harriet Luke and the vicar.
Now, if you'll excuse me (MOUTHS) (WHINES) Tioch, get down.
Er Thank you, Marie.
Goodbye.
Oh! Good heavens! That has opened things up considerably.
A tad too much, perhaps? Really? Wait until we see the hedges.
And the statues.
Oh, right, like in the picture.
Yes, but apart from this interloper.
The holly.
We couldn't cut it down, could we? I'm afraid not.
It's not church property.
It belongs to the pub, The Holly Tree.
They could always call it the Empty Space.
Has anyone seen Harriet today? Er, no, she's gone up to London.
Had to go to the British Museum.
Well, at least, I think that was where she said she was going.
Yes, Lyall's picking her up from the 6:30 train.
Why do you ask? I just wanted to ask her something.
Well, I must be off.
Don't forget, anything you want, just ask.
Yes, I must be off, too.
Oh, er, Vicar, if people were saying things behind your back, you would rather know than not know, wouldn't you? Well, yes, I would.
So, what are people saying behind my back? That you were seen entering the churchyard, just before Malcolm Sutton was murdered, with Harriet.
Honestly, this village.
They're making things up now.
So, if you take possession of Brocketts Farm all your supply problems are solved.
Hardly.
The Brocket yews will make a huge difference to our potential output.
I thought there was a difficulty with yew bark not producing enough anti-cancer agent.
Have you solved that problem? Well, it's not really my department.
R&D boys sort that out.
When we saw you at Marie's, you hadn't come to give her your condolences, had you? You'd come to talk about the sale.
Why should I do that? Something had just dramatically improved Knussens chances of getting Brocketts Farm.
Oh? Malcolm Sutton's death.
Are you implying Just observing.
One obstacle down, one to go.
Yes, so now only Franklin Danvers stands between you and Brocketts Farm.
So, Mr Linton, what would you be prepared to do to get that land? Hm! That's why I came back from the British Museum early.
I can't concentrate.
All I can think about is Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm.
Don't say that.
I'm sorry.
I can't live a lie any longer.
So, do you think one person is the key to this whole mystery? Yes, Harriet Luke.
I'm not so sure.
There's something very odd about the samples I took from Knussens.
You're not suggesting that Mr Linton is the murderer? The murder was convenient for him.
He's in the frame.
And not the only one.
HARRIET: I can't stand this any more.
(Talk of the devil.
) I'm going to the police, to tell them the truth.
You don't have to.
When all this blows over and we've got Brocketts, you'll have all you've ever wanted.
Why destroy all that? (HORN BLARES) (SOBBING) (SIGH) Oh, well.
So much for the holly tree.
It's an ill wind.
Yeah, creepy.
I think I should go with her.
Keith, Keith.
Attempted murder.
Someone drained the brake fluid from the car.
An attempt to kill Harriet.
Mind you, mind you, that is if she was the intended victim.
What, Harriet just got in the car by pure bad luck? Who else, then? Franklin.
It's his car.
Well, yeah.
But what if Lyall thought that Franklin was onto him? Yeah, that would explain why Lyall's gone missing.
(They're all out there searching for him, apparently.
) Mind you, Lyall is not the only one who wants Franklin out of the way.
Mr Linton.
I think it's time we paid him another visit, don't you? Come on.
No, no, no.
Come on.
No, no.
Too busy here.
Laura, what are you doing? You'll see.
Oh, you and your old wives tales.
I AM an old wife.
I know that you are prepared to go to any lengths to maximise your supply of yew tree bark.
Well, of course.
If it's going to relieve human suffering, wouldn't anyone? No, not the way you're proposing to go about it, no.
I see.
So, you know.
Very clever.
Then the only question is, what price your silence? What?! We managed to find the right price for Miss Sutton.
She's favouring our offer.
Now, come on, what's your price to keep quiet? I'm not going to keep quiet, Mr Linton.
I don't think the locals would approve of genetic modification.
Natures Way, Mr Linton? (RINGS BELL) (DOG BARKS) Why can't everyone just leave us alone? It's all right, love.
Don't worry.
I'll sort everything out.
If Linton tried to bribe you then maybe HE'S Marie's boyfriend.
If he is, they've got a double motive for murder.
That fits beautifully but I don't think Linton is Marie's boyfriend.
Then who is? Lyall.
Lyall?! I thought he was after Harriet.
I thought so, too, but I think we got that wrong.
What makes you say that? The dog.
The dog? Yes, it barked like hell when I called round there just now.
Of course it barked, that's its job.
It barks at everybody.
Exactly! It barked at me, it barked at us and it barked at Linton.
Remember when Lyall came with those logs? Not a peep.
You're right.
In fact, it ran out to meet him, didn't it? Yeah.
So, if Lyall is Marie's boyfriend, that explains why she was so quick to defend him and point the finger at Harriet.
Mm.
Funny, isn't it? Whatever way you look at this thing, it always comes back to Harriet.
I just lost control of the car.
I was in a hurry to get to the police.
To say what? The truth.
That I was in the churchyard that night.
Keith and I had a talk about the Malcolm situation and if we were seen there was no point denying it.
Mm, if you had nothing to hide.
Why deny it in the first place? Keith was just trying to protect me from suspicion.
If it was known I was there at the time of the murder, who'd look further? Anyway, I'd left by then.
YOU'D left by then? You two didn't leave together? Oh, no, he had some parish work to catch up on.
Oh.
Oh, have I said something? Go on.
Maybe it's time you explained everything.
(CLOCK CHIMES) Time! That is my name (!) Laura, this is serious.
You don't have to tell me.
You all set? Yes.
Do you think it's going to work? It'll work.
And the vicar will be there? Oh, yes, the vicar WILL be there.
You can't help feeling sorry for Lyall, with his secret passion for Harriet.
He couldn't bear the thought of Malcolm coming back and ruining her life all over again.
Please, do sit down.
It's funny, Lyall never showed any sign of fancying Harriet.
Take my word for it, that kind of passion can burn deep without anyone ever knowing anything about it.
I think you're right.
Well, partly.
I think the motive was sexual jealousy and it was something also to do with Harriet's complicated love life.
Well, what on earth has brought this on? We know who did it.
Lyall.
I spoke to Harriet in the hospital.
She said a lot about you, Vicar.
In fact, she was very forthcoming about the unrequited passion she inspires in men.
I think it's so sad when love is unrequited.
It leads to all sorts of vicious behaviour.
Yes.
Murder.
Draining the brake fluid from someone's car to kill them.
Except, of course, in this case Harriet was not the intended victim.
Right.
I was.
No, I don't think so.
The next person due to drive that car was Lyall.
He was going to go to the station to pick up Harriet, but she came back earlier and so the plan failed.
But Lyall was the one that vanished.
Wouldn't that be an admission of guilt? No, I would say that was an admission of fear.
Once he realised the car had been sabotaged, he must have known someone was trying to kill him.
Someone who loved Harriet so much that he killed Malcolm Sutton.
You love Harriet.
Don't you, Vicar? She told me, in the hospital.
You're not seriously suggesting that I'd kill anybody? The bow was found hidden in your church.
Are you accusing me of murder? Ah! I see, I see.
Now it all makes sense.
He loves Harriet, he was there at the time and he was the only one with a key to the side door, and, consequently Well, have I got it right now? Yes, yes.
Yes, you have got it right.
The shot WAS fired from the side door of the church.
No.
No, no, the shot came from outside the church.
Someone was in the undergrowth, everybody knows that.
Everybody except us.
Because I found this.
It's a nock from one of your arrows.
Look at that.
Identical.
But where did you find it? I found it by the side door of the church.
Which had obviously been forced.
And that is how Rosemary and I know, and only we know, where the shot was fired from.
The question is, Mr Danvers, how did you know unless you were there? Oh, God.
This is just a set-up.
Yes, it is.
Thank you, Vicar, you've been most accommodating.
Just stay exactly where you are! You love Harriet, don't you? But she could never love you.
You thought it was because of Malcolm Sutton.
That's why you killed him.
As you said yourself, Mr Danvers, that kind of passion can burn deep.
Yes, I've killed once and I'm not afraid to kill again.
Don't try anything, Mr Danvers.
Hold still while I pull that out.
Well, goodwill with the boys in blue cuts both ways.
(MOUTHS) (GRUNTS OF EFFORT) (CLOCK CHIMES) (CHUCKLES) We made it! Yes, and just in time.
(APPLAUSE) You've done wonders.
ROSEMARY: Thank you.
Are you coming to the fair? Dressed like this? We don't want to look silly.
You think you've got problems! I hear you're not leaving Baffington.
We've decided to stay.
I'm not selling Brocketts, after all.
I'll farm it myself, organically.
Well, OURselves.
And we'll keep the churchyard looking just like this.
How soon will the hedges grow? Very fast, and box is very hardy.
And for the privet I used a traditional gardener's trick, before planting the cuttings I soaked them in an infusion of yew.
Yew? Mm.
You said the yew was the tree of death.
It is, but it's also known as the tree of new life.
Creepy, isn't it? I'm glad we found room for Persephone, though.