Sam and Cat (2013) s01e06 Episode Script

Stupid, uncomfortable couch.
Now be comfortable! Cat Whoa, you really need a bath.
Cat Cat! Dog?! Rovaire! Rovaire, get over here! - Dude, it's almost three in the morning - I know.
I know.
How many times are you gonna let your big dumb dog break into our apartment?! I'm sorry! Hey, you got any salsa? Out! Go on, go on.
Faster, faster.
Ugh! I hate neighbors.
Aw! Ugh.
Mm.
Oh! What? What? What the was there an earthquake? Yep, big one.
I think it was an eight-point shut up and lemme sleep.
Wait, why are you in my bed? Because I'm tired.
Well, I can dump somebody outta bed too.
Uh! Ah! Just a question of leverage Oh! Will you struggle quieter? You can't just bed-jack me! Well, I can't sleep on that couch out there! And our neighbor's big dumb dog got in again! - Rovaire? - Yeah! Hey, how come you get this whole big bedroom, anyway? Because it was my Nona's, and I lived here first.
- No, ya didn't.
- Yes, I did! - Yes, you did! - No, I didn't! - True! - False! - Right! - Left! - Crunchy! - Smooth! What?! Look, there is no way I'm gonna sleep in that comfortable bed! You are too! Well, okay, but you're staying in here with me! Oh no, I'm not! You trickered me, right? I did.
Well, it won't be the last time.
No, it won't.
I'm never that far.
No matter where you are.
Believe it, we can make it come true.
We'll do it our way, no matter what they say.
Because no one's gonna do it for you.
Ooh, ooh, yeah! But I, I, I, I I'll never say, never.
As long as we keep it together.
Oh! If you're living a dream, and you know what it means.
Then you can't let them change your mind.
It's the life that we choose, and we still break the rules.
But it's all gonna be just fine.
Just fine.
Yeah, we're all gonna be just fine.
You and me we're gonna be just fine.
Oh.
Rap so hot yeah, I spit that fire.
Live so good even my driver got a driver.
Wrist so ice got bling that'll blind ya.
And a pink candy coupe call it sweet and low rider.
Yeah, woo! And I'm living that good life, baby can't ya see? Yeah, yeah! Big bossin' on the corner they got all eyes on me.
And I'm back for the thrill of it.
Folks they say I'm killing it, fact I'm just a little bit short of many millions.
Rap is what I'm stickin' with that is how I'm getting rich.
So I bust a little bit about how I be living it.
And I'm living that good life, baby can't ya see? Big bossin' on the corner they got all eyes on me.
Ding dong! I'ma get it.
Aw dang, I was just getting my swerve on.
- Oh hi, Ms.
Poopley.
- Hi.
Bennie, your mom's here to pick you up.
No, I wanna stay and play with you guys! Aw, that's so sweet.
Yeah.
Pay us.
Right.
Here.
- Cool.
- Thanks.
- Bye.
- Bye guys.
- Bye, Bennie.
- Thanks girls.
You're the best babysitter ever! Aw.
That makes me feel so special.
What does? That Bennie thinks I'm the best babysitter ever.
Yeah, um He said that to me.
Uh, I'm pretty sure he was looking at me when he said it.
No.
He was looking near you Because I was standing near you when he said it to me.
But I gave him a cupcake and it was my idea to play rap attack.
And when he cut his finger, I'm the one who got him the rag.
No, I got him the rag! You just told him to suck it! That's how you get your blood back in your system.
Well, we're both good babysitters, and that's all that matters.
True.
And I'm sorry that Bennie thinks I'm just a little better than you.
- Take that back! - No returns.
Dang it! Look, we're babysitting again tomorrow, right? I know our schedule.
- How many kids? - Three.
Okay, so when we're done babysitting, we'll ask the kids which of us is their favorite babysitter.
Yes.
Let's do that.
And Just to make it interesting Already pretty interesting to me.
Winner gets the big bedroom.
I notice your mouth fell open.
I was just Airing out my tongue.
So, favorite babysitter gets the big bedroom? Yep.
It's on, Puckle.
My last name is Puckett.
I thought it was Puckle.
Nope.
But I've been saying Puckle for weeks now.
And I keep telling ya it's Puckett.
Why do I keep thinking it's Puckle? No one knows.
Weird.
Yeah.
Coming Why look! It's my favorite three kids in the whole wide world! But you've never met my kids before.
Well, that doesn't mean I can't do a cartwheel for them! Now come on in and let the fun begin! All right, you guys, I'll be back to pick you up later.
- 'Kay.
- Bye daddy.
Bye! Yay! So tell me your names.
- I'm Daisy.
- I'm Jarvis, this is Sophie.
Wow! Awesome names! My name is Cat, easy to remember.
Cat, like the sweet, little furry animals we all love.
Try saying it.
Cat.
Yes! There you go! You just won a prize! Cookie necklace for Daisy Cookie necklace for Jarvis And cookie necklace for This one.
Now, whenever you want a cookie, all you have to do is look Hey! I heard a rumor that we got three super cool kids hanging here with us tonight, yeah! Excuse me, Sam, but we were just in the middle of Hey! Oh, who wants to play with this super-awesome fireworks machine! All right.
Come on kids, come on! Whoa! Yeah! Nothing's cooler than fireworks, right guys? - Totally! - Heck yeah! Unless one of the fireworks lands on your pet and kills it.
That could never happen.
In theory it could.
Which is why it's illegal to set off fireworks without a special permit.
Oh, you mean like This special permit? - Yes! - Wow! Now watch this! Ooooooo.
- Yeah, let's hit that sky again, huh! - Yeah.
Oh.
Ahhhhhhhh.
Well, they're just fireworks, you know, "kaboom"! Been there, seen that.
But have you seen this? Saaaammmm.
I'll be back in a sec! - Weren't those fireworks amazing? - That was so cool! I love this next Dice! Dice, I need your help! Whoa, look at those fireworks! Aren't they amazing? No! Stop being impressed by them! What are you all cranked up about? I'm trying to beat Sam in a contest and I need Jarvis, Daisy, and Their little sibling to like me best! Oooooooo.
Stop fan-girling over Sam's fireworks! Help me come up with something those kids will think is even cooler! I dunno if there is anything cooler.
Come on! I don't like sleeping on couches! Okay okay! Uh ooh! There's a really cool new restaurant that just opened up, down by the beach! The name! Gimme the name of the restaurant! Bots! - What'd ya say? - Bots.
What? Hey! Hey! Get in here! You guys! Who wants to go have dinner at a restaurant where the waiters are robots?! - Me! - We do! Yeah, I know you do! I never heard of a restaurant with robot waiters.
Well, I have! Because part of being a great babysitter, is making sure I'm always aware of new things that children might love! Say yay, kids! - Yay! - Yay! Ooh! Who wants to ride to the restaurant on the back of my motorcycle?! - Me! - I do! No, because that's not safe unless they have helmets! You mean helmets like These? - Yay! - Yay! Aw, come on! Woo-hoo! Yeah! Bet you didn't expect these babies, did ya? Cheese.
I will now turn left and scoot away.
Hello pretty.
Fist bump? Ooh.
Sure.
Nice one.
Woo-hoo! Yeah! Okay kids, you can have a seat there, and there, and ah, I don't care where you sit.
Whoa This is the coolest restaurant I've ever seen! I knew you guys'd love this place.
That's why I wanted to take you here.
But I thought it was Cat's idea to bring us here.
Oh, no.
See, Cat wanted to take you guys to the dentist A mean dentist named Doctor Painblood.
- Ewe.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
How you doing? J'ellooo? Hey yo She doesn't talk much.
Well, I think that's awesome.
Yeah, you love me.
Oh! You guys! You were supposed to come back and get me on your motorcycle! Why would you think that? Because you said, "Cat, I'm gonna come back and get you on my motorcycle!" For what? So I can come have dinner with you guys! Oh.
I thought you hated children.
No! I need to talk to you.
You're not playing fair! All we said was by the end of tonight, the kids have to pick their favorite babysitter.
But you don't even care about being the best babysitter, you just wanna win the big bedroom.
That is exactly correct.
Well, I'm gonna win.
I don't think so.
- Look! Naked robot! - What? Hi kids! Is everybody having a fun time here at Bots, this restaurant that it was my idea to come to which is why we're all here now?! - Yeah! - It's so fun! Good.
There was no naked robot.
- Can I please have an orange soda? - Yes! She asked me.
Sure you can.
Orange soda! Look.
It says "push to order".
Oh.
- Wow.
- Oh, look at that.
Hey, hand me that Pear Pad and I'll order your soda.
- Thanks.
- I wanna order it! - No, it's okay.
- She's my little - Thank you.
- No redheads can use the Pear Pads.
- It was my idea.
- You can't do it.
- It was my idea.
- Oh, oh, oh, please.
- Let go.
- Sam, I wanna order.
- Robots! Help me! - Hey, look, kids.
Look at Help me, you're my only hope.
Hello.
I bring your food.
Food.
Yay! Okay.
Yes.
Take your foods from my tray.
- Thank you.
- Food is good.
- Thank you, Tandy.
- The food is all right.
Is there anything else I can get you? Um, can I please have some ketchup? I don't understand your question.
Sorry.
I just want some ketchup.
Searching the web.
There are three pet shops near you.
No, I don't want a pet shop.
I just want some ketchup.
Enjoy your meal.
Well, that was frustrating.
Well, I'm having a great time at this place, how about you kids? - It's awesome! - Yeah! How about you? Here, eat a pork finger.
Hello.
Is everyone enjoying their foods and beverages? - Yeah, it's really good.
- Yeah, it's very good chips.
Hey, that little red-headed girl is done with her food.
Understood.
But! No! What? No! No don't go! You lied to a robot.
Yep.
Pretty funny, right guys? - Yeah! - Awesome! No, it's not! I mean, yay! Yay for lying and wasting food! Yay! Wow! Look who's here with something fun for us to play with.
It's me.
Here with the Blow Master Turbo Gas Cannon.
That's so cool! - Isn't it? - Wow.
Okay, what's this about? Oh, I just called Dice and asked him to bring over the coolest thing in the world for the kids to play with.
So I brought a Cannon! - Yes! - Wow.
Man.
How does it work? Well We take this frozen turkey And drop it down the barrel of the Cannon And now we push the Cannon outside to the patio, and we can shoot the frozen turkey into the swimming pool next door! - That's amazing! - Fun! Hey, this is what good babysitters do.
- Come on, Jarvis, let's push thi - Ah! That's for me! Come on in, Justin.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Wow Daisy, you seem so excited and happy that I got Justin here for ya.
That's not really Justin Bieber! So? Daisy, meet my friend, Justin Fever.
- Swage.
- Swag.
Swag.
Oh wow! Don't say oh wow! He's not a real pop star, he probably tours with his mother! Shush! Go on Justin do your thing.
Swag.
And we could get away ay ay.
- Spend together every day ay ay.
- Come on Jarvis! Let's go outside and blow this turkey Uh! Fever! I was never here.
You turkey-blasted Justin Fever! Yeah, he's not so swag now.
Ah Hi, I'm here to pick up my - Is he alive? - Hard to say.
Swag.
- Well, here's your money for babysitting.
- Cool.
Come on, guys, your mom's waiting downstairs in the car.
- Okay dad.
- Coming daddy.
Um, hey you guys, could you just wait one sec? Hold on, hold up! Um, we wanna know Who's your favorite babysitter? - You guys are.
- Yeah, you two.
No like, if you had to choose one of us Which of us is your favorite babysitter? - Sam.
- Boom! - Cat.
- Pow! Aw great, it's a stupid tie.
- I didn't vote.
- Oh, my She talked.
Yeah.
Sophie Which of us is your favorite babysitter? Me Or her? Why does it have to be a competition? I think you're both great babysitters.
Either one of you would be great alone But together you make one great babysitting team.
Sure, you both have your good qualities and bad qualities.
But the important thing is You care about your work.
And you're roommates.
And friends.
Isn't that what really matters? Yeah, but who's better?! Maybe it doesn't matter who's better.
You wanna share the big bedroom? Do you? Do I get my own bed? Sure.
Wait, you promise you won't do weird things to my stuffed animals? Do you promise not to sing songs to your stuffed animals? What about on their birthdays? Oh God, they have birthdays?! Okay, I'll put my bed right over here - And I'll put mine over here - I'll put a fridge over there And I can have my stuffed animals over here I'm seeing swords and other weapons on this wall here And we can paint the whole room bright pink Or black Yeah.
Or pink.
And we'll get a big pink shag rug! - Glitter all over the walls.
- Cat, Cat, no, no.
- And glow-in-the-dark stars and smileys.
- There's too much glitter.
- We'll have a rainbow on the door - Ah! No I'm not living in a pretty pink room that looks like a thousand fairy princesses threw up.
Well, I'm not living in a room that looks like a den for teenage boys and dirty hoodlums.
It looks amazing, don't ya think? I guess.
But I like my side.
- Whatevs.
Let's get some sleep.
- Kay.
Sam? What's that thing on your wall? Boy toilet.
'Night.
Um We can't use it can we? It'd be difficult But not impossible.
And I'm living that good life, baby can't ya see? Yeah, yeah! Big bossin' on the corner they got all eyes on me.
And I'm back for the thrill of it.
Folks they say I'm killing it, fact I'm just a little bit short of many millions.
Rap is what I'm stickin' with that is how I'm getting rich.
So I bust a little bit about how I be living it.
And I'm living that good life, baby can't ya see?