Schmigadoon! (2021) s01e06 Episode Script

1
All right, let's do this.
Wait, don't you think we
should look at the instructions?
Nope.
Is this gonna be like Settlers of Catan?
'Cause no one will
play with you anymore.
Fine, we will use the
instructions. What's the first step?
Wait.
What does it say?
It's just pictures.
What? How is this in any way helpful?
I think that it's not helpful.
Did they somehow run out of money
while they were doing this? What?
All right, screw it. Let's
put some poles in some holes.
Keep it clean, Gimble.
So, let me
Are these the longest? These are the
- This has a Yeah, there we go.
- That one.
Now, what do we think
this is, a side or a top?
- This is the inside.
- These are just, like, clamps.
- Hey.
- Just do
Well, this goes here.
As far as we know.
And this goes here.
I mean, it fits.
And that hooks into the end here.
I think we're good.
Are you concerned that we
have so many of these left?
Uh
No No Yeah, these
are just extra pieces.
We don't need them.
And this goes here.
These go like this.
And
It's a tent!
If only Marv and
Joanna could see us now.
Okay, let's
- Oh, it's spacious.
- It's nice? Oh.
- I want you to come in here so bad.
- Yeah?
- Come in here, my darling, please.
- Oh, wow.
- Yes. Welcome.
- Thank you. Oh, my God, this is nice.
Mm-hmm. Cue our security system here.
- We've got tons of room.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh!
- Oh!
I'm sorry I broke the tent.
It's okay. It wasn't your fault.
No, I know sleeping outside
is your worst nightmare.
As long as I'm with you.
Carson!
Carson!
Carson?
Leave me alone.
Hey, buddy.
Go away.
Ow! What the hell?
I said go away!
Ow! Hey! Stop that.
Wait, why are you
only in your underwear?
I'm not gonna wear anything she gave me.
Then who gave you the underwear?
Look, anyway, Carson, you need
to come down from there right now.
No. And I never wanna
see my sister again.
So you're just gonna spend the
rest of your life in that tree?
If I choose to.
Fine, then I'm coming up.
Okay, you need to come down.
And you need to forgive
your sister your mother.
This whole thing is very Chinatown.
- What?
- It's a movie.
- Like Air Bud?
- Not like Air Bud.
Look, I know you're mad at Emma, but
She lied to me.
She was my mom this whole
time and she lied to me!
Yes, she did. And lying is wrong.
But she thought she was
doing the right thing.
People are complicated,
Carson. Even moms make mistakes.
But we can't just run away
from the people we love
because they're not perfect.
We have to forgive them.
- I can't.
- I know it's hard.
Relationships are not
like playing the kazoo.
They take work. But they're worth it.
I mean, think about it.
You really never, ever
wanna see her again? Ever?
I think I'm ready to come down now.
Okay. Do y
Carson!
Oh, I am so sorry, Carson!
Why did you lie?
Because I was afraid of
what people would say.
But that shouldn't have mattered,
because I am so proud to be your mom.
I'll leave you two alone.
No. Wait.
Thank you for finding Carson tonight
and for everything else that
you've done for him, and for me.
You are a good man.
And I wanna be with
you and live in a place
where I can have a new start.
So if you'll have me
I say tomorrow morning we cross
that bridge out of Schmigadoon
and head to New York together.
Let's do it.
Melissa.
Jorge?
Oh, I'm so glad I found you.
Blerky told me what she did
to you and it's unforgivable.
But I'm here to bring you back home
because you, and only
you, are the one I love.
I knew you'd choose me over her.
And I'm ready to be challenged
and to be molded into
the man you want me to be
and follow you wherever you wanna go.
If you'll have me.
Will you?
Of course I will.
Do you love my son?
Mama, you're only here
because you know how to drive.
Jorge, please. I have
something I need to say.
A week ago my husband of
50 years died in my arms.
When I buried him, it was
like burying a part of me.
So I think I know something of love.
Tell me, do you love my son?
You have one heart.
Is he the one you want to give it to?
Jorge.
Melissa, no. We belong together.
You want to give it to someone else.
Mama, you're ruining this.
I think I do. But
honestly, I I don't know.
I mean, yes, there are times
when it feels like we're the
only two people in the world.
And And we laugh, and our
eyes meet, and it's like magic.
But there are times we
seem so disconnected,
and I don't even know if he
loves me, or if I love him.
And it just feels so lonely.
Mi'jita, what you have
just described is love.
It is not something
you can prove is there.
It is something you choose
to believe in. Every day.
You must go to him.
Tell him how you feel.
Jorge, get in! We are taking
Miss Melissa to her love.
- Mama
- Do it! And stop moping.
You are gorgeous. You'll
find someone else in no time.
Come on! Hurry!
I can't believe we're actually
going to New York City!
That's right, the
greatest city in the world.
What's it like there, Dr. Skinner?
It's amazing, buddy,
you're gonna love it.
Tallest skyscrapers you've ever
seen, so many people, so many lights,
so many drugstores.
Will there be snow?
Yes, there'll be snow.
Will there be candy?
Yep. There'll be candy.
Then it sounds like New
York will have everything.
All right, ready to cross
and start our new lives?
On three. One, two, three.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, yeah, fine. I'm just, uh
It's just a big deal
heading back home, I guess.
Of course. Take your time.
But
New York won't have everything, will it?
It's extraordinary, really.
One can be convinced they are
the smartest person in town
and yet still miss the
most important detail.
I am so sorry, Emma.
What's happening?
He's getting cold feet. Kiss him!
I really care about you.
Both of you.
You changed me.
You made me a better person.
I am so sorry.
I I didn't
- I did I didn't
- I know.
Go.
Vote for Layton. Mildred.
That's Mildred to you.
Vote for Layton. Mildred.
Vote for Layton. Thank you.
Morning, Aloysius. Morning, Florence.
Oh, I keep forgetting
she's still too embarrassed
to appear in public.
Anyhoo, good luck today.
You're gonna need it.
Ladies, can I get a cackle?
Well, since, uh, Carson isn't here,
I've been asked to yell stuff out.
So, hear ye, hear ye,
it is now exactly nine on the o'clock,
and according to the town charter,
time to hold the vote for mayor.
The two candidates
are Aloysius Menlove
and Mildred Layton.
Vote for Layton!
Layton for mayor!
We will vote according to Schmigadoon
tradition, by the show of hands.
- All in favor of Mildred
- Josh!
Where's Josh? Dr. Skinner?
Has anyone seen him?
I need to talk to him.
Do you mind? We are about to
begin the mayoral election!
Strife and tribulation,
people. Strife and tribulation!
Wait, what?
Did I miss something? Was there a song?
- Shall we proceed with the vote, Howard?
- Yes, dearest.
We shall now vote by the show of hands.
- All in favor of Mildred
- Melissa!
Oh, for the love of Pete!
Josh.
- I'm sorry.
- Mel.
No. I am.
I'm sorry for acting like everything
that wasn't perfect was a failure.
For treating you like a
burden that I had to carry
on my way to some ridiculous fantasy.
For pushing you to change
without ever considering
maybe I needed to change too.
And I just want you to know
that I'm in it for the long haul.
That I choose to believe in us.
Whether in Schmigadoon,
in New York, wherever.
Because I love you, Josh Skinner.
And you are, and always
have been, enough.
I am not a man of many words ♪
Never been romantic ♪
Like all the lovesick herds ♪
I laughed at every sentimental thing ♪
But you make me wanna sing ♪
Josh.
Seems my heart was
always like a stone ♪
Even when you're with me ♪
You kind of feel alone ♪
And so I bounced ♪
From fling to fling to fling ♪
But you make me wanna sing ♪
I wanna hold you ♪
And spin you around ♪
So fast that we'll never part ♪
I wanna hold you ♪
And spin you around ♪
'Cause that's what you've done ♪
To my heart ♪
Now I'm here and offering my hand ♪
And asking you to take it ♪
So we can make a stand ♪
For love and all the joy ♪
That it can bring ♪
'Cause you make me wanna sing ♪
Now I'm here and offering my hand ♪
And I will gladly take it ♪
So we can make a stand ♪
For love and all the joy ♪
That it can bring ♪
'Cause you make me wanna sing ♪
Aw.
No! Boo! No!
Why are you cheering for
these sinful city folk?
Have you forgotten what
they've done to this town?
No. I haven't forgotten,
and I hope I never will.
I hope none of us ever will.
Because they've made
Schmigadoon better. For everyone.
I know I should hate
her, but I kinda love her.
How can you even dare to suggest
they've made Schmigadoon better?
That's a load of fiddle-faddle!
First off, the mayor
The mayor? Let me tell
you about the mayor.
The mayor is finally being
honest about who he really is.
And I love him for it.
Aw.
Thank you, Florence.
And I love you for that.
Just not, you know, bedroom love.
Oh, believe me, I know. I'm not stupid.
Maybe it's time we all start
following the mayor's example
and were more honest
about who we really are.
For instance, I'm not Carson's sister.
I'm his mother.
I knew it! I knew that
child was a bastard!
You're a bastard!
You can call him any
nasty name you want.
But the circumstances
around my son's birth
have nothing to do with who he is.
I love you, Carson.
I love you too, Mom.
What's wrong?
I just hadn't realized how much
I really wanted to
hear you call me that.
Aw. Good mom.
Oh, give me a break!
I suppose you and the
mayor expect to be admired
for airing your dirty laundry in public.
Well, wake up, sister, because the
two of you are all alone in this!
The rest of us are good, decent people.
God-fearing Schmigadoonians who
are exactly whom we purport to be!
Actually, I hate being an innkeeper.
I wanna be an actor.
I've been working on a one-man show
about my father's death
for the last two years.
Yes! You go, Harvey!
Remember the old mill fire
last year? I set that myself.
- Yikes.
- I like getting injured.
I do it for the attention.
You be you, Pete.
Ow!
Actually, I'm a veterinarian.
I'm pretty sure I'm a socialist.
I'm tired of being a rapscallion.
I wanna be better.
It's time everyone knew,
there's really no way
to win the ring toss.
Mm.
Okay, time to vote. So let's
I got pregnant out of wedlock
with a seaman. And yes, I heard it.
Nancy! What are you doing?
It's time everyone knew, Mother.
I'm tired of hiding just
because you're ashamed of me.
Mother?
Yee honk.
So I guess you do have secrets, Mildred.
Are you going to let him talk
to me like that, Howard? Are you?
He's only telling the truth,
Mildred. And I'm glad it's out.
I'm sorry, Nancy. We never should
have kept you hidden away like that.
And speaking of the truth,
it's time I let all of you know
that I am a homosexual too.
And I have feelings for Aloysius.
You do?
Aw.
Oh, no. No. This can't be happening.
- Mildred
- No! I don't want your pity.
Because I am stronger than you.
I am stronger than all of you!
So go ahead, let it all
out, be "true" to yourselves.
Because here is the real
TRUTH: you are toilet people!
I hope you all die
and go straight to hell
because that's exactly
where you idiots belong!
I hate you!
All right. Time for the vote.
I'd like to explain exactly
what I meant by that.
All in favor of Mildred Layton
for mayor, raise your hands.
Howard raise your hand.
No, Mildred.
All right, that's one
vote for Mildred Layton.
And now, all in favor of Aloysius
Menlove for mayor, raise your hands.
Looks like it's Mayor
Menlove by a landslide.
Thank you! Thank you for your support.
I am honored to be Schmigadoon's
first openly gay anything.
What are you doing?
I know what it's like to
wanna fix everyone around you
and think that's the
only way to be happy.
But it's not.
You have to learn to let go.
But I'm a good person.
Not really.
You're kind of a controlling,
judgmental asshole.
Yeah.
But you don't have to stay that way.
That's what's so great about change.
There's always the hope we can
be something better than we are.
It's not too late. I promise.
This is how we change ♪
Reimagine, rearrange ♪
See ourselves through others' eyes ♪
Reexamine, realize ♪
This is how we grow ♪
Blossom burst, melting snow ♪
Find another way to learn ♪
Let the soaring phoenix burn ♪
A hurt ♪
A lie ♪
A kiss ♪
A goodbye ♪
We stretch ♪
We hope ♪
We reach ♪
We try ♪
The miracle of intersection ♪
Two hearts meet ♪
Both change direction ♪
- This is how we change ♪
- This is how we change ♪
This is how ♪
We change ♪
- This is how we change ♪
- This is how we change ♪
Reimagine, rearrange ♪
See ourselves through others' eyes ♪
- Reexamine, realize ♪
- Reexamine, realize ♪
- This is how we grow ♪
- This is how we grow ♪
Blossom burst, melting snow ♪
Find another way to learn ♪
This is how we ♪
This is how we change ♪
We change ♪
Schmigadoon ♪
Where the sun shines bright ♪
From July to June ♪
And the air's as sweet as a macaroon ♪
Schmigadoon ♪
Where we learned to change ♪
And we learned to grow ♪
What the future holds ♪
Well, we just don't know ♪
But there's hope for all ♪
And we call it ♪
Yes, there's hope for all ♪
And we call it ♪
Oh, there's hope for all ♪
And we call it ♪
Schmiga ♪
This is how we change ♪
Reimagine, rearrange ♪
See ourselves through others' eyes ♪
Reexamine, realize ♪
This is how we grow ♪
Blossom burst, melting snow ♪
Find another way to learn ♪
This is how we change ♪
We change ♪
Schmigadoon ♪
Where the sun shines bright ♪
From July to June ♪
And the air's as sweet as a macaroon ♪
Schmigadoon ♪
Where we learned to change ♪
And we learned to grow ♪
What the future holds ♪
Well, we just don't know ♪
But there's hope for all ♪
And we call it ♪
Yes, there's hope for all ♪
And we call it ♪
Oh, there's hope for all ♪
And we call it ♪
Schmiga ♪