Sealab 2021 (2000) s01e06 Episode Script
Lost in Time
If you're looking for me.
You better check under the sea.
Cause that is where you'll find me.
Underneath the Sealab.
Underneath the water.
Sealab at the bottom of the sea.
Let's go get some beer.
I don't know, Zorak, I don't think my folks'd want me drinkin' beer.
That's why we're doin' it.
Oh, alright.
That is Ol' Kentucky Shark, and he has been there.
But you swimmin' right now.
What I'm doing is merely swirling the water about! That's not a crime! Uhh, Shake, we've swam enough now Heh-heh-heh, that darn cup.
Oh.
.
hey, Hesh, what's up? The huge monster's still on the loose!! He's killing everybody!! Uh-huh.
- Hesh fears for life!! Hesh! - Oh jeez! Help! - Oh jeez! Damn you, monster!! Hey, what's that all about? The monster, sir.
Ate half your crew, cracked open their bones, sucked out the marrow.
.
? Shut up.
The Hell-spawn fiend has struck again! Pod Six is a bloodbath! What the heck's going on around here? The monster.
Don't you remember, sir? It all started last week! A monster has entered Sealab! He's killing everyone in sight! Aaaaah! Ready my escape pod! No good, it's smashed the escape pods! We're trapped! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah - - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Whew, oh yeah, now I remember.
So, uh, uh, where are we on that? On the flesh-eating monster? The what? - The bloodsucking alien!! Ha ha, I know, heh, gotcha! Monster just got another one! The what? Please, stop saying "the what" when we say "the monster!" The what? Captain!! For God's sakes!! Buh-buh-buh monster's on! I may have a plan to kill the monster.
I got some of its DNA off of Archie's bones, and we just might be able to kill it if we change Sealab's atmosphere! Sparks, - Already on it! Hesh, come in! When I find you, I'm gonna tickle your insides - Hesh.
- with all Hesh's fingers!! Hesh! - I'm gonna pull your legs off!! And I'm gonna - - HESH!! What? - Shut your hatch! Okay.
Hesh, reduce the oxygen levels by 80 percent! Okay.
And triple the helium levels.
Hanh.
.
huh.
.
I said triple the helium! Triple it, damn you! Okay.
Hanh.
.
huh.
.
You see, the monster's lungs.
.
they won't be able to process the helium.
So his cell walls are gonna begin to collapse - Ha ha, listen to your - oh my God, listen to my voice! Hello, my name is Mister Squeaky! Captain, please!! This is serious! Hesh, gimme a reading! Oh, yeah, we gotta hear what Hesh sounds like! Uhmm, it's yellow.
.
Now it's completely red.
.
yellow again, and look at this crazy thing go What a bust.
Hey, you got any ideas that don't suck? A-ha, a-ho, oh ho-ho-ho, oh-ho-ho, oh-hooo, ohh hey! Old Gus has seen a lotta weird stuff.
Maybe he can help.
Hey, have you two seen Gus? No.
Just his bloody wetsuit.
And what we think was a nose.
- Eeugh.
Well, we gotta find him.
Or what's left of him.
Great idea! We'll look in the pool! Wait! He's not in the - .
.
pool.
Ohhh, we shouldn't have ditched Quinn.
Hey! He brought this on himself.
- What? Listen woman, you need to relax.
I can't relax around you.
Well, you'd better learn.
'Coz if that monster eats everyone else, we'll have to repopulate Sealab.
Ohhhhh! That's disgusting.
Is it, Debbie? Debbie? What?? Is it? Yes!! Now quit touching my leg!! You're touching my leg! Oh my God, the monster!! Save me!! Yo, Doc! Have you seen Gus? Ohhh, goodness.
Come on in.
He is right here.
Augghh!! Ohh!! AUGGGGHHH!! Just talk towards the hole in his forehead.
Ohhhhh.
.
- That's his new ear.
Shouldn't he be in surgery? Just came from surgery! Twelve hours.
Where's his.
.
face? I would say it's in the monster's belly or, somewhere lower in the gastrointestinal canal if in fact that monster does have one of those.
I don't know.
I don't know the anatomy of a monster.
I know human beings and some of the larger canines.
Right.
Gus, you're the only one to face the monster and live.
Kinda.
What can you tell us? How can we defeat him? Right.
.
Mm-hm.
.
Uh-huh.
.
I'm sorry, could you repeat that? Right.
.
Sure.
.
Mm-hm.
.
Sure.
.
Yes.
.
! It's just crazy enough to work! Thanks, Gus! No! No, no.
.
you look good! Lookin' good Lookin' good, Gus Good lookin' Gus.
Yes, I'm sure you're quite thirsty indeed.
But until the sutures have - Ohhhhh, heavens! Welcome to my humble surgery, you magnificent specimen! Yeeeeeowwwoww! You have spit some sort of corrosive substance directly into my eyes.
You are a perfect killing machine! And I for one am honored to be among your helpless - Yeeeooooooow!! Hey, hang tough Doc! I'll give that monster a lethal dose of vitamin M! Dunn, dunn, da-dun daaaa Ay! Chupacabra! Ay! My face! Mi cara! Aaaagh!! Ohh, way to go, Marco! Now the damn thing's got wheels! That's why I'm putting you in here.
It's the safest place.
Now, I've gotta go, and get rid of that mean old monster.
Ah, don't worry about me, I'll be back! Who's your number one buddy, huh? Huh? Who's number one? Okay.
Sure! We'll go see the turtles, I promise.
Now, just to be extra safe, I need you to put on that life jacket.
Hey, lookin' sharp! So.
.
it's just us three, and the fat kid? Yeah, but don't worry.
This plan is fool-proof.
How's that go again? Using Dolphin Boy as bait, we lure the monster into the reactor core.
Nice touch with the meat vest! That's right, fat stuff! Shake those chins! Then, we divert the coolant flow.
The core overheats, and zap! That monster gets a lethal dose of radiation.
What about little butter-chubs, there? Who cares? Right! Sparks, can you get a wider angle on that fat little pumpkin? Hang on, somebody spilled, aw, Chok'lit Chip Juice on my electronics over here! I just gotta - gzzzzz!! Jeez, way to go, Sparks! You broke the monitor, and you're dead! Happy? Oh, okay, that fixed it.
Djsh!! He's - look, look, look, he's taking the bait! Look! The monster's repulsed by the very fatness of Dolphin Boy's touch! But Captain! This - - Buh-buh-buh! Don't you get it? All we have to do is get disgustingly fat! Then, the monster won't eat us.
To the pudding vats!! I don't know about your plan to get really fat, sir.
I think - Quinn! - Yes, sir? Is there ever a bad time for pudding? Quinn! - What? Is there? Hey.
Try one of those hams.
There stuffed with hot wings! Captain, I can't keep eatin' like this.
And for all we know the monster's long gone.
Hey! The only thing I wanna hear outta you is "mmm, mmm, mmm" - Yes, sir.
Too bad about Dolphin Boy, though.
Oh, yeah, he tasted terrible.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, stop! My left arm is tingling! Uhh, maybe this'll help! Seriously! I'm having a heart attaaaaaaaa Quinn? If you don't want me to eat you, say something! Okay.
You better check under the sea.
Cause that is where you'll find me.
Underneath the Sealab.
Underneath the water.
Sealab at the bottom of the sea.
Let's go get some beer.
I don't know, Zorak, I don't think my folks'd want me drinkin' beer.
That's why we're doin' it.
Oh, alright.
That is Ol' Kentucky Shark, and he has been there.
But you swimmin' right now.
What I'm doing is merely swirling the water about! That's not a crime! Uhh, Shake, we've swam enough now Heh-heh-heh, that darn cup.
Oh.
.
hey, Hesh, what's up? The huge monster's still on the loose!! He's killing everybody!! Uh-huh.
- Hesh fears for life!! Hesh! - Oh jeez! Help! - Oh jeez! Damn you, monster!! Hey, what's that all about? The monster, sir.
Ate half your crew, cracked open their bones, sucked out the marrow.
.
? Shut up.
The Hell-spawn fiend has struck again! Pod Six is a bloodbath! What the heck's going on around here? The monster.
Don't you remember, sir? It all started last week! A monster has entered Sealab! He's killing everyone in sight! Aaaaah! Ready my escape pod! No good, it's smashed the escape pods! We're trapped! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah - - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Whew, oh yeah, now I remember.
So, uh, uh, where are we on that? On the flesh-eating monster? The what? - The bloodsucking alien!! Ha ha, I know, heh, gotcha! Monster just got another one! The what? Please, stop saying "the what" when we say "the monster!" The what? Captain!! For God's sakes!! Buh-buh-buh monster's on! I may have a plan to kill the monster.
I got some of its DNA off of Archie's bones, and we just might be able to kill it if we change Sealab's atmosphere! Sparks, - Already on it! Hesh, come in! When I find you, I'm gonna tickle your insides - Hesh.
- with all Hesh's fingers!! Hesh! - I'm gonna pull your legs off!! And I'm gonna - - HESH!! What? - Shut your hatch! Okay.
Hesh, reduce the oxygen levels by 80 percent! Okay.
And triple the helium levels.
Hanh.
.
huh.
.
I said triple the helium! Triple it, damn you! Okay.
Hanh.
.
huh.
.
You see, the monster's lungs.
.
they won't be able to process the helium.
So his cell walls are gonna begin to collapse - Ha ha, listen to your - oh my God, listen to my voice! Hello, my name is Mister Squeaky! Captain, please!! This is serious! Hesh, gimme a reading! Oh, yeah, we gotta hear what Hesh sounds like! Uhmm, it's yellow.
.
Now it's completely red.
.
yellow again, and look at this crazy thing go What a bust.
Hey, you got any ideas that don't suck? A-ha, a-ho, oh ho-ho-ho, oh-ho-ho, oh-hooo, ohh hey! Old Gus has seen a lotta weird stuff.
Maybe he can help.
Hey, have you two seen Gus? No.
Just his bloody wetsuit.
And what we think was a nose.
- Eeugh.
Well, we gotta find him.
Or what's left of him.
Great idea! We'll look in the pool! Wait! He's not in the - .
.
pool.
Ohhh, we shouldn't have ditched Quinn.
Hey! He brought this on himself.
- What? Listen woman, you need to relax.
I can't relax around you.
Well, you'd better learn.
'Coz if that monster eats everyone else, we'll have to repopulate Sealab.
Ohhhhh! That's disgusting.
Is it, Debbie? Debbie? What?? Is it? Yes!! Now quit touching my leg!! You're touching my leg! Oh my God, the monster!! Save me!! Yo, Doc! Have you seen Gus? Ohhh, goodness.
Come on in.
He is right here.
Augghh!! Ohh!! AUGGGGHHH!! Just talk towards the hole in his forehead.
Ohhhhh.
.
- That's his new ear.
Shouldn't he be in surgery? Just came from surgery! Twelve hours.
Where's his.
.
face? I would say it's in the monster's belly or, somewhere lower in the gastrointestinal canal if in fact that monster does have one of those.
I don't know.
I don't know the anatomy of a monster.
I know human beings and some of the larger canines.
Right.
Gus, you're the only one to face the monster and live.
Kinda.
What can you tell us? How can we defeat him? Right.
.
Mm-hm.
.
Uh-huh.
.
I'm sorry, could you repeat that? Right.
.
Sure.
.
Mm-hm.
.
Sure.
.
Yes.
.
! It's just crazy enough to work! Thanks, Gus! No! No, no.
.
you look good! Lookin' good Lookin' good, Gus Good lookin' Gus.
Yes, I'm sure you're quite thirsty indeed.
But until the sutures have - Ohhhhh, heavens! Welcome to my humble surgery, you magnificent specimen! Yeeeeeowwwoww! You have spit some sort of corrosive substance directly into my eyes.
You are a perfect killing machine! And I for one am honored to be among your helpless - Yeeeooooooow!! Hey, hang tough Doc! I'll give that monster a lethal dose of vitamin M! Dunn, dunn, da-dun daaaa Ay! Chupacabra! Ay! My face! Mi cara! Aaaagh!! Ohh, way to go, Marco! Now the damn thing's got wheels! That's why I'm putting you in here.
It's the safest place.
Now, I've gotta go, and get rid of that mean old monster.
Ah, don't worry about me, I'll be back! Who's your number one buddy, huh? Huh? Who's number one? Okay.
Sure! We'll go see the turtles, I promise.
Now, just to be extra safe, I need you to put on that life jacket.
Hey, lookin' sharp! So.
.
it's just us three, and the fat kid? Yeah, but don't worry.
This plan is fool-proof.
How's that go again? Using Dolphin Boy as bait, we lure the monster into the reactor core.
Nice touch with the meat vest! That's right, fat stuff! Shake those chins! Then, we divert the coolant flow.
The core overheats, and zap! That monster gets a lethal dose of radiation.
What about little butter-chubs, there? Who cares? Right! Sparks, can you get a wider angle on that fat little pumpkin? Hang on, somebody spilled, aw, Chok'lit Chip Juice on my electronics over here! I just gotta - gzzzzz!! Jeez, way to go, Sparks! You broke the monitor, and you're dead! Happy? Oh, okay, that fixed it.
Djsh!! He's - look, look, look, he's taking the bait! Look! The monster's repulsed by the very fatness of Dolphin Boy's touch! But Captain! This - - Buh-buh-buh! Don't you get it? All we have to do is get disgustingly fat! Then, the monster won't eat us.
To the pudding vats!! I don't know about your plan to get really fat, sir.
I think - Quinn! - Yes, sir? Is there ever a bad time for pudding? Quinn! - What? Is there? Hey.
Try one of those hams.
There stuffed with hot wings! Captain, I can't keep eatin' like this.
And for all we know the monster's long gone.
Hey! The only thing I wanna hear outta you is "mmm, mmm, mmm" - Yes, sir.
Too bad about Dolphin Boy, though.
Oh, yeah, he tasted terrible.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, stop! My left arm is tingling! Uhh, maybe this'll help! Seriously! I'm having a heart attaaaaaaaa Quinn? If you don't want me to eat you, say something! Okay.