Shoestring (1979) s01e06 Episode Script

1 - Where are you going? - The sweet shop! - I've got to go home.
- Bye! Hang on, I'll just do my shoelace.
June! Hello? Mummy? June! Where are you? I've just been to the police.
Are you all right? June? It's okay, Mummy.
I'm still here.
Where? In a phone booth at Think that's all Mummy needs to know.
June? What are the police doing? What about my expenses? Eddie, I understand that you, on occasion, quite legitimately have to fork out for meals, drink, etcetera.
And that such expense Good morning.
such expenses, quite correctly, are chargeable to this radio station.
- But there are limits.
- Such as? - Miss Pauline Barlow.
- Made a good case story, though.
- Did you catch it? - I caught the bill for the lunch.
Excuse me.
Radio West.
The Chateau Fougères, just about the highest-priced restaurant in town.
Wasn't easy, Don.
Oysters Kilpatrick to your taste? - But after a good meal - And a very good bottle of wine.
she came right through with the information.
She might just as easily have come through over a pie, chips and a bottle of stout.
Personally, I always think it'll turn out the opposite to what they say.
Yes, I've noted your call.
Goodbye.
It's very urgent.
If you'd just listen a moment.
Radio West.
I'm sorry, can you just hang on a minute? Hello? Stickers and badges? Well, you have to write in for these.
Certainly they're free.
But you need to send a stamped, addressed envelope.
I'd have rung but there's no time.
Do you understand? Is he here? You are correct.
Next spell "false".
W O L F.
Wrong.
Try again.
W Kidnap's not really what you meant.
- He's stolen her.
- Or borrowed her.
- I'm so afraid.
- Are you sure it was your husband? The police talked to her school friend, she'd met Dennis two years ago before we split up.
But he hasn't seen June since? He's been working in Australia.
Doing what? He's a zoologist.
He worked at the zoo here before he got the job in Melbourne.
I've just found out he left that job a month ago.
Is he going to go back? I had no idea he was even in the country.
Well, he'd have hardly have advertised it if he was planning to snatch her.
He planned it, all right.
- Waiting there with a car.
- What kind of car? Blue-grey Citroën.
No numbers, not much help, I'm afraid.
Mrs Philips, is there any chance of a reconciliation between you and your husband? - Our divorce comes up next week.
- Ah.
A judge sat through lunch and made her ward of Court.
Apparently, it makes a difference on how the police can act.
Well, it only makes a difference if you can find them.
That's why I've come to Radio West.
What makes you think I can do anything that the police aren't already doing? All the police can do is check the airports and the sea ports and then they've got a hundred and one other things to do.
And he's a clever bastard.
If he was that clever, he'd be out of the country by now.
But you seem to think he's still in hiding with her? When June rang, she said, "I'm still here, Mummy.
" I'm positive she meant locally.
Please, Mr Shoestring, will you help? If he gets her out of the country, I may never see her again.
Look, uh Back in a bit.
Captain Lei.
Dennis Philips.
What's happening? Mr Philips, leave your number and I will call you.
When do we sail? As soon as we're fully loaded.
I told you.
The strike has delayed us.
How long before you're ready? Tomorrow night.
But we won't be able to sail until the following morning.
This is their last letter on the subject.
Hardly fair, I would say.
How many times have I told you, Don? "Fair" is practically the first word a lawyer learns to eradicate from his vocabulary.
It's simply a word sealed in a judge's head.
It was our reporter who got kicked downstairs.
With the interview in his pocket.
You've destroyed it, I hope? As you advised.
All right.
Leave this one to us.
Right.
Well, that just about wraps it up.
You'll let me know tomorrow about the music infringement? First thing.
Oh, by the way, I hear you're running a new free investigative service for listeners.
Yeah, the Private Ear.
We're trying it out, at any rate.
Eddie Shoestring.
Yes, well, can be a tricky legal area.
Don't worry, I'm keeping a close eye on it.
Have a drink before you go? Bagpipes, blow pipes or even gas pipes.
Well, there you have it.
Weirdy number one in Sounds Peculiar, here on Radio West.
Yes, it's yours untruthfully, Vincent Dinsdale.
Radio West Din's in for the next hour, and inviting your calls for later in the programme.
But first, who do I spy but our own private eye, Eddie Shoestring, who's unexpectedly come a-visiting.
- Hi, Eddie.
- Hi, Din.
Er, excuse me for butting in, just for a minute.
But I want to talk urgently to somebody that I don't know but somebody that's in trouble And trouble is his business.
Go right on ahead, Eddie.
Thanks, Din.
His name's Dennis.
And if he's listening, I want to tell him to think about what he's doing.
Now, you know which Dennis I'm talking about because your daughter is with you.
And you must know the worry you're causing.
Assuming you're still around, Dennis, and you get this message, will you call your wife again and put her mind at ease? Or if you'd rather, you can call me here at Radio West.
The number is 27272.
Now, you know that running off with a child is foolish and if you're planning to leave the country, things will get even worse, because your daughter has been made a ward of Court and the police have been informed.
So if you are listening, please phone me, and let's talk it over.
The number again is 27272.
Harry, why in heaven's name didn't you tell me straight away? Joe, can you get a replacement for me as of now? - Right now? - Yeah, something's come up.
I want to handle it personally.
- Sounds important.
- It is.
I'd like a van and some help, if you can arrange it.
Sure.
I'll send Gerry up to take over.
Come across and we'll see what we can do.
I just wondered if everything was all right? It's fine.
Very comfortable, thanks.
Will you and your little girl be wanting any food? No thanks.
It's no trouble.
Well, she must be hungry.
We're going out for a bite later.
Thanks.
You could look on it as helping the police.
That's not how they'd see it, Mr Shoestring.
Amateur interference.
Thank you very much.
Suppose they've got this bloke under surveillance, worried about the kid's welfare, about to make an arrest? You sound like a walking citation.
Eddie, Mr Bridgeman is Radio West's lawyer.
As far as I know, the police haven't moved an inch.
- That's not the point.
- It is to June's mother.
All right, all right.
But I'm going to give a station-wide instruction.
No more dropping in on the air.
- Without a parachute? - Without my say-so.
Yes, he is.
Yes? A guesthouse landlady just came onto phone-ins, she thinks Dennis Philips might have the girl at her place.
Right, give me the address.
38 St Luke's Road.
Thank you, Sonia.
Seems like a little bit of radio interference might have worked, gentlemen.
He has got some bad habits.
Mr Shoestring? - Yes.
- Come in.
It's upstairs, on the top landing.
The second on the left.
Said his name is Grant.
Don't you think you'd better come with me? I mean, he could be Mr Grant.
All right.
- Thank you very much for calling.
- Oh, my pleasure.
Mr Grant? Mr Grant? Mr Philips? Have you got another key? No, you'll have to force it.
- Are you sure? It's your house.
- Wouldn't be the first time.
I gather that you were close friends? Ever since we studied together.
But we rather lost touch when he went down under.
I'm surprised I haven't seen him.
It was a flying visit, was it? Yeah, I think he has his reasons for keeping a low profile.
Is it to do with his wife and child? You know Mrs Philips? Of course.
But Dennis was more of a work friend after he married.
Are these divorce inquiries you're making? Not exactly, erm See, I really need to speak to Dennis and I thought perhaps you could help.
Do you think there's anyone else he might have contacted? Someone who might have lent him a car, for example? Well, yes, there is.
He had a girlfriend about the time he and Mary were separated.
He was very discreet about it.
I don't know her name.
Thank you.
Thank you very much, Mr Halliday.
Look, if you can think of anything else, just give me a ring.
- Radio West, Shoestring.
- I've heard of you, Mr Shoestring.
Mr Shoestring.
I'd like a word with you.
Tyres are very bad for grass, you know.
You've left tracks.
Yeah, well, this will be easier here.
Nobody to interfere if we should get quarrelsome, you see what I mean? Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean.
Well, let's say Ralph and you had a disagreement.
- Right, Ralph? - Maybe we had more than a disagreement.
Let's say you took it upon yourself to chastise him a little.
You wouldn't want busybodies butting in, would you? Now I see what you mean.
Good.
Good.
So let's get down to business, the business you are currently engaged in.
You think that Dennis and young Junie are still around here somewhere, right? - I don't know where they are.
- But you intend to find out.
I've been asked to do so by June's mother, yeah.
Who is my daughter.
We had words about you this morning.
She told me you'd accepted the case.
You are going to need help, Mr Shoestring.
And who better qualified than Ralph here and myself? Oh, that's a very kind offer, Mr I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.
It's Tom.
That's very kind of you, Mr Tom.
But, I prefer to work alone.
It's a little rule I have.
There's exceptions to every rule, this being one of them.
Look, I understand your concern over your granddaughter That bastard, he's got to be found, Mr Shoestring.
And I intend to be right there beside you when you do find him.
I'm sorry, that's not possible.
As I said, Radio West pay me a salary and Ralph, give Mr Shoestring your demonstration of how we beat up naughty little criminals.
Look, if you don't want me on the case, all you have to do is to ask me nicely.
We do want you on the case, Mr Shoestring.
Don't we, Ralph? We think you're the perfect man for the job.
Thank you.
We just need a little cooperation, that's all.
We want to be friends.
Work together.
We're quite willing to do all the legwork for you, aren't we, Ralph? I mean, supposing you had an accident? Supposing, for some reason, you just couldn't get around any more, you'd need to use help then, wouldn't you? I love parks, don't you? They're the lungs of the city.
Breathe.
Chlorophyll.
Essential to our daily lives.
I mean, look around, go on.
What do you see in parks? You've got birds, wildflowers and mushrooms.
Trees.
Oh god, trees.
Perhaps the most noble plant form of all.
Equally essential to our daily lives.
Providing us with shelter and warmth.
Firing the very boiler of our existence.
But what else do you see in the traditional English park? I mean look around, you've got things that bring back treasured memories.
Old men sitting on park benches with knotted handkerchiefs on their heads.
And occasionally, a band playing in the bandstand, making you want to dance with the sheer excitement of being alive.
Gilbert & Sullivan.
On the Road to Mandalay.
My wife! Don't worry, it'll be all right, honestly it will.
These days will come again, you know.
Beautiful child, what's his name? - Victoria.
- Victoria.
There you are, the very essence of that glorious past.
Do you like trees? - I don't know.
Where'd you come from? - Over there.
Where did you get that new plaything? The shop near the market.
Do you know, you can play chess electronically? I hate to think what else they sell.
You know, some of these security firms aren't very popular with my department.
Do you mean one of those two gorillas is actually the little girl's grandfather? Yeah, that one.
Said he was anxious to be of assistance.
He even offered to break both my kneecaps just to show his enthusiasm.
Hmm, sounds very nice.
What will they break if you actually find father and daughter? I don't know.
Dennis Philips' skull, I suppose.
He isn't exactly top of granddad's popularity poll.
Would you like a drink, Erica? No, thank you.
I only came up to borrow back some of my cutlery.
Oh, I never use it.
That's reduction of my kitchen equipment.
That's an immediate cut in rent.
I can buy an electronic mind-stretcher.
I also came to make sure that you'll come to dinner tomorrow night.
- Are there any beautiful ladies coming? - You promised.
- Have I ever let you down? - Frequently.
Oh.
All right, then, I'll play man of the house if you promise to do me a favour.
- Straight away, I know it's illegal.
- No, it isn't.
You'll be in keeping with your police colleagues by giving them the number of the car Philips used when he took his daughter.
And in return? You tell me first who owns it.
Well, if you'd like to take your mind of your artwork and come and give me a hand.
All right.
I'll allow you to take me to your bed and rape me.
Car registration is PPL 382L.
Put your name on the list and we'll inform you as soon as the book's available.
I'm afraid we have a very strict rule that nobody queue - jumps.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
I wonder if you could help me? I'm looking for the assistant librarian, Miss Joanna Lomas.
You've found her.
Oh, good.
Good morning.
I represent the Society for Underprivileged Authors.
Now, we have under our wing a great many highly talented, original, sensitive writers.
And I can't see any of their books on the shelves in your library.
Well, I'm afraid I don't choose the books, I merely lend them out.
Yes, but you are aware, are you not, of the wealth of talent that is bursting for recognition? The opportunity of being read by the hoi polloi, the general public at large.
Well as I said, I do not choose the books.
I find this very worrying, Miss Lomas.
Do you begin to comprehend the disservice you are doing to your library membership by not allowing them the privilege of reading these great works? Excuse me, but I have a lot to do.
Look, Miss Lomas Miss Lomas.
Miss Lomas, I can see I'm going to be forced to give you an example.
Highly talented writer, Dennis Philips, author of the Berlin Octet.
You must have heard of him? Of his book? I'm afraid I can't help you.
But you do know Dennis Philips? I've never heard of him.
Then why did you lend him your car? My car? Are you the police? No, no, of course not.
Shoestring.
Making some inquiries.
I'm looking for Dennis Philips and I'd love to find him as soon as possible.
I wish you luck.
In the meantime, I'd like to find my car.
It's been stolen.
- Stolen? - I reported it to the police.
What's happened to it? Don't tell me some hooligan has smashed it up? No, your car's in perfect condition.
Well, where is it? I found it for you.
I think you'd best contact the police.
I'm very sorry to have troubled you.
Oh, well, I'm very sorry for being so abrupt.
Perhaps I owe you some reward, Mr Shoestring? Oh, no! No Thank you.
You didn't hurt that Eddie Shoestring, I hope? With my training? Look, Dad, I want June back safe.
- Now, listen to me.
- I wish you wouldn't interfere! Now, you listen to me.
The police will never catch him, Eddie Shoestring might.
That's where we come in.
I don't care about Dennis! No? Well, I do.
I care about him a lot.
After what he done to you.
Well he did, didn't he? He ruined your life.
I'm all right now.
I'm glad there is one mistake you did make.
Little Junie.
Oh, thank you very much.
Well, I hope you were tactful.
This girl in the library sounds perfectly innocent.
Yeah, that's if her car really was stolen.
Eddie, something important we must discuss.
I've had our lawyer Alan Bridgeman on my tail again.
Oh, God.
How much does it cost every time he rings up? Forty quid? And you complain about my expenses? A child snatch isn't just a straight job for the Private Ear.
Your old friend Inspector Dawson's been stirring it.
The police insist that you and Radio West pass on any information as soon as you get it.
And Bridgeman agrees.
Dawson can earn his own bloody medals.
Eddie, we can't play games with the law.
Think where we'd stand if anything happened to that child and we hadn't fully cooperated.
I've already put the police onto the car.
Phone call for Mr Shoestring.
Joanna Lomas reported her car stolen at 5:26 yesterday evening.
Right.
That's all I needed to know.
Thank No, I won't forget the party.
Yes, I promise.
All right.
I'll see you later.
Bye-bye.
- I knew she was lying.
- Who? Miss Red Lips in the library.
As soon as I left her, she phoned the police and put herself in the clear about the car.
Dennis must have warned her.
You're right.
I did call the police around that time.
But I assure you, I don't know any Dennis Philips, Mr Shoestring.
You just happened to contact the police around 5.
30? I live around the corner from the library.
Last night, I went home, changed, and then noticed that my car had been stolen.
And now, I wish you would stop pestering me about something I know nothing about.
Who is he following? Well, that girl from the library.
She's the only one been in here.
Yeah, but why? He thinks they're hiding about here somewhere? Maybe we should take a look round the back.
Hang on, there she is.
Keep going, keep going.
I'm afraid that's it, Mr Philips.
I have to take your daughter back to her mother.
You don't have to do anything, Mr Shoestring.
You're not the police.
It's no longer a tussle between you and your wife.
The child has been made a ward of Court.
So it's you versus the law.
You think that makes any difference? Yeah, of course it does.
'Cause if you don't take her back, you go to prison.
If we're caught.
You don't stand a chance in hell of getting her out of the country now.
Nonsense.
We're almost there.
- Come on! - No, hold on! Let's get his keys to the car.
Come on.
And she was an amazing witness.
Total recall, startling new evidence.
There was the judge, scribbling away furiously, the court hanging on to every word.
Pulses were racing.
Then the whole damn thing collapsed, didn't it? - Why? - Wasn't the right witness that was sent in.
In fact, I hadn't got the right witness at all! It was some nut hanging around the corridor from a local mental asylum, ready to answer to any name that was called out.
Excuse me.
Most certainly.
Actually, they let him off with a caution, so it was all right.
Sorry I'm late.
Well, you needn't have worn fancy dress.
Well, I'll go and change.
Why bother? All right, I won't bother.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
This is Gerald, Bob, Nathalie, Sylvia.
- Hello, Nathalie.
- Hello.
This is Eddie Shoestring.
What kept you? I managed to catch up with Dennis Philips and his daughter.
Is that the child who's been made ward of Court? Yes, it is.
She laid me out in the cemetery, complete with floral tribute still in the vase.
You mean the child occasioned you actual bodily harm? Yes, actual bodily harm.
I don't know how you found out, but Dennis and I did know each other before he went to Australia.
But he left you behind last time? Well, I couldn't go abroad originally.
I was still qualifying.
Anyway, he was going to come back and have a last go at making things work with Mary.
But he didn't come back.
Until last week.
Do you love him? That's a stupid question.
Well, what about the child? I love Dennis, so I helped him.
So you were planning to go off somewhere? When the fuss had died down.
If he wanted me to.
Abroad again? Whether Dennis is caught, it doesn't matter to me.
It's not important.
What I care about is what happens to his daughter.
He's got another job a long way away.
It's a marvellous job.
It's just that he'd grown desperate over June.
You know the mother is in a bit of a state, too.
Well, why don't you ask Dennis about her? I would, if you'd tell me where they are! Listen, I could go straight to the police, give them your name and you'd have to tell them.
You're asking me to shop Dennis.
No, I'm not! I'm giving you a choice.
Either you put him in jail or you let me sort this out my way.
Hey! We're closed.
Open at 11.
It's a quarter past now.
Is this where Mrs Philips is staying? It's you.
I'm coming down.
I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was you.
I didn't realise it was this late, either.
Jack had to go out early.
Is this his pub? It's not mine.
I help.
Now that we're open, what will you have? Oh, nothing for me.
Thank you.
Um, I think I've found your daughter.
You have? Yes.
I'm going to talk to your husband and I think you should, too.
Talk to him? What for? You know where they are? - Yes.
- Then what are you waiting for? I'm not waiting, I've got a taxi outside.
Listen, what the hell are you playing at, Mr Shoestring? You've missed them once.
I'll get the police onto it, then.
Straight away, no messing about.
They'll fix the bastard.
Hoo-eel All right, all right, all rightl It's a lovely day and lots more goodies to come.
But first, just a quick message for that busy guy, our very own Private Ear, Eddie Shoestring, if he happens to be listening.
Lost your car, Eddie, right? Well, someone else has been playing private eye and come right up with the answer, a young listener called Justin.
Your car is over at Quay 5, Eddie, on the north side of the docks.
So that's three, no less than three albums coming your way, Justin.
How did you know? Who told you? Well, you were up against half a million Radio West listeners all with the offer of three LPs at the end of the rainbow, just for finding my car.
So the police will know? Not yet.
What are you going to do? Call them? Not necessarily.
It's the only way you'll get my daughter off this boat.
Well, do you think I could have a word with her? It's not me, or your father, or your mother, or even you who decides where you're going to live.
It's the Court.
They will just send me back to my mum.
You know that.
I want to be with my dad.
Yeah, I gathered that was how you felt.
June, why are you so upset about going back to your mother? Look, June I want to have a chat with Mr Shoestring.
Be back in a bit.
I'll see you.
Anything my dad says is the truth.
I'll remember that.
June's unhappiness is the same reason the marriage broke up.
Booze.
She was hooked even before we met and married.
But not so bad.
Didn't have a happy childhood herself.
Yeah, I know, I met Granddad.
She kept off it reasonably well at first, when June was younger.
When she went to school, it all started up again.
Eventually, it became impossible.
June loves her mother.
Kids can take a lot, you know? It's just I don't want to see her young life ruined.
I want her with me.
Why don't you say all this in the divorce courts? My wife will go off the booze long enough to convince everyone she's the perfect mother.
I haven't got a ghost of a chance of getting custody.
And you know it.
That's right, Dennis.
No chance.
Oh, Granddad! Why can't you just leave us? Because the law is the law, poppet.
And Granddaddy's always taught you that.
Surely Mr Shoestring told you that.
I don't think he was going to stop us.
No? Well, it's too late now.
Thanks to Radio West.
We done it, Ralphy.
We got her back! Cheers.
I love my granddaughter, Ralph.
She's a great little kiddie.
Do you remember when we took her to the park? On the swings? On the swings? In the park? I couldn't stop them from taking her off the ship.
Well, cheer up, my boy.
Have a drink.
No thanks, Don.
What's your problem? You were asked to get a listener's child back, you did.
You won! Do you think so?