Shrink (2017) s01e06 Episode Script
S.O.S.
1 [AIRPLANE PASSING OVERHEAD.]
You're up early.
I'm actually still up.
Oh, David.
You're burning the candle at both ends.
Oh, there's no more candle.
That's long gone.
I'm just gas-lighting at this point.
But I don't think that's what that means.
You know what tomorrow is? I do.
I thought to remember Dad, we'd go to his favorite spot on the harbor, like we used to, and have a picnic, and I'll make Dad's favorite you know, shit on a shingle.
Mom, I don't think chipped beef and gravy on toast is very picnicky.
Besides, I don't know if I can do it tomorrow.
I'm gonna forget you said that, David.
You be ready at noon, rain or shine.
I will, Mom.
[SIGHS.]
Okay, well, tell me more about your work.
Oh, there's this rip-off artist who doesn't pay a cent, and I know he has money, but he's hiding it.
I need to lay down the law.
Well, how would you do that? How about something like this.
No.
Oh, no.
No, don't do that.
Stop! Don't do that to his face! No!! No!! No!! Aah!! Don't make it sexy! Oh, no! Aaaaah! Aah! [GROANS.]
So, this is a hotel room now? Oh.
Sorry.
I'm working two jobs.
I'm tired.
Two jobs and still no money? You are some piece of work.
Doctor, my ass.
I fell asleep in the waiting room.
Bernadette is delightful, by the way.
Sleep is very important to your mental health, David.
Maybe you're working too many hours.
No, I'm definitely working too many hours.
I'm doing sessions all day, then I get maybe an hour before I go to the store.
And I get home, I'm lucky to get two more hours of sleep if Barry decides to not crank his house music.
Do you think this is affecting the quality of your work? I mean yes and no.
Are you falling asleep? So, you know how I told you about mouse trap? Mm, I love Mouse Trap.
It's a great board game.
I have a crazy elbow sort of that sounds Excuse me? Crazy elbow? No.
We don't say crazy in here.
Um, are you are you listening to me? Hmm? Yeah, totally.
Okay, 'cause I don't all right.
All right, cool.
You look like shit, you know? Oh, yeah? - You having a rough day? - You could say that.
Is there anything else hindering your sleep other than your schedule? No, that's pretty much it.
I mean, I've been having a lot of weird dreams lately, but that's probably because I'm in and out of sleep constantly.
Can you describe one of these dreams for me? Sure, like the other day, I had this dream where I came in here, and we were having a normal session just like this, and then I looked up, and you were eating a hat sandwich.
[DISTORTED.]
David? [DISTORTED.]
Oh, my God.
You're eating a hat sandwich.
It's delicious.
I can't believe this is happening again.
David? You just love these hat sandwiches.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
David! You were eating a hat sandwich.
You only closed your eyes for a few seconds.
If you're dreaming the second you close your eyes, you're in REM rebound.
That's your brain telling you it's severely sleep-deprived.
You really need to get some rest.
We you alive when JFK was shot? What? We you alive when JFK was alive? Stop talking, David.
Lie down.
There's a blanket behind you.
Holy shit! [CHUCKLES.]
Why don't you just close your eyes? Good night, David.
You keep that thing gassed up for your ma? - The snow-blower? - No, Dad, it's electric.
They're almost all electric now.
Oh? Fancy.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's not fancy, that's run of the Oh.
Where are you going for dead dad day? No.
Come on.
Don't be weird.
Tell me, David.
Tell me before I die again.
You can't die again.
How do you know you're not dead and this is my dream? [GASPS DRAMATICALLY.]
[LAUGHS.]
Stop.
Don't do that.
We're going to the harbor like we always do.
Okay.
[CROWD CHEERING, ORGAN PLAYING.]
KASPER: Quite a game of catch between father and son.
They moved the mound 15 times closer to home plate.
I know what this is.
This is a dead dad dream.
I feel lost, and you represent the person I'm supposed to get advice from.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's not gonna happen, kid.
Yeah, but I need help.
Yeah, well, wake up and ask Rollie.
I'm sure he's got some real fucking chestnuts.
He's throwing baseballs to his little boy.
Rollie's all right.
Mom really loves him.
He does a lot of little stuff, like, you know, eats the burned piece of toast at breakfast.
Sounds like a real asshole.
Come on.
You want Mom to be happy.
I was her first true love.
I want her to be miserable without me.
Did you know that I get up out of my grave every day and go looking for her? [SCOFFS.]
Dad.
I'm just giving you shit.
I haven't been to my grave since the funeral.
Did you know that "Field of Dreams" was based on a true story? The true story of 18 men trapped in a corn field because of their sins.
Len Kasper nice touch.
Yeah.
He's a great guy.
Len? If it's not a hot dog, feel free to put ketchup on it.
Yeah, he never talks back in the dreams.
This dream was brought to you by Vienna Beef, your Chicago dog since 1893.
Beef.
Beef! Beef.
Beef.
Beef.
Beef [KNOCKING AT DOOR.]
I've been knocking for 10 minutes.
What the fuck's the matter with you? Nice to see you, too, Kendra.
You don't look good.
Are you hung over? Did you party last night? You look like shit.
Amanda only has two Facebook friends with beards one is her dad, and the other is Jake Arrietta.
I know she's not hooking up with either one of them.
Okay, can I have my phone back? So what if Amanda's dating a guy with a beard? Little beard, Kendra.
Doug specifically said a little beard.
Okay, you are obsessed with this.
[SIGHS.]
I'm not obsessed, okay? I'm actually kind of seeing somebody regularly.
I just want to make sure she's not dating a freak, okay? Okay, can we get back to my session? Oh, yeah, that's gonna be a bowl of laughs.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you drunk? No, I'm just working all the time, and I don't sleep.
You're practically asleep.
I'm not recording yet, so I can say shut up! You just did.
[TELEPHONE LINE RINGING.]
Hey, this is Rachel.
Leave a message.
[BEEP.]
Hey, Rachel, this is David Tracy Dr.
David Tracy.
Uh, just wanted to check in.
Looks like you missed your appointment, and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.
Hopefully, it wasn't that diner food we had the other night.
Lord knows it went through me like a Anyway, just send me a text or whatever, and we can figure out another time for an appointment.
And, um Yeah, that's That's, uh That's what I got on my end.
So, okay.
[GOOFY VOICE.]
Okaaay.
"Okaaay"? What? Jesus, be more awkward.
Be more of an awkward person.
Can I at least talk to you about girls? Oh, come on.
We were having a good time.
So, I met this girl, Rachel.
She's great.
Then she just disappeared.
Like this? - Dad, come on.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Anyway, as I was saying, I thought I really connected with Rachel.
And we had this wonderful night, and then I don't know what I did wrong.
Are we really gonna do this? It's my dream.
Give me what I want.
Fine.
I'll tell you what you did wrong.
Rachel wanted you to swing away, and you took a walk.
A walk is four balls.
No, it's not like that.
We have long-term potential.
You sound like a goddamn accountant.
I think this is what people in your biz call an un-addressed pattern of behavior.
Remember Mary Bonscarf? My seventh-grade girlfriend? You were a bit much, David.
You had all of eighth grade planned before we even finished seventh.
I mean, who wants to be tied down during the last year of junior high? That's the year you rule the school.
Yeah, but we were a good couple.
We were 13, and you wanted to settle down.
You can't force settling down, which is why they call it settling.
Yeah, I got it.
Thanks, Mary.
Like sand in a glass of water.
I get it.
You can go now.
I don't have to go anywhere.
I got this.
[CROWD CHEERING, ORGAN PLAYS.]
The batter has disappeared! Do you really think this is a pattern of mine? Jesus, why are you making yourself so stupid? This is your dream.
Remember Amanda? Hey, David! We dated for four years, and then I broke your heart! Yeah, I remember.
I broke up with you! I know! Go, Cubs! Go, Cubs.
You're really letting yourself have it in this dream.
This is the worst dream I've ever been in.
Yeah.
And you think your OCD is getting worse? Maybe.
I suppose the strongest one is keeping things parallel to each other and to other things in proximity.
Do you like to have things be perpendic Don't do that with your hands, please.
If you like to gesture, this is a very effective gesture, and it's very powerful.
Great.
Okay.
Does this manifest itself in other ways in your life? My kids can't get any sleep.
I straighten them out in the middle of the night.
Whoa.
Are you verbally abusive? No.
No, I literally straighten them in their beds so that they align horizontally with the wall.
Mm.
You know, if I were a child, that would scare me.
It would, but they're pretty much wide awake because they know I'm coming.
Have you tried researching beds that would keep them aligned? Like a coffin? No.
- God, no.
- That's a great idea.
It wouldn't have to be mahogany or anything.
I have to say I am not suggesting that your children sleep in coffins.
Like a pine-wood box.
No, that's worse.
That's a crude coffin.
Wouldn't have to call it a coffin.
Call it a sleeping box.
Who doesn't want to sleep in a sleeping box? No one wants to sleep in a sleeping box.
[P.
A.
BEEPS.]
JULIA: Paging Dr.
David.
Paging Dr.
David.
We have an emergency.
The patient is presenting with polyphasic gravi-deliquio.
Okay, I know what to do.
[JUMBLED VOICES.]
Are you gonna fix him with therapy? No.
I'm a doctor.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're, like, half a doctor.
There's no such thing as half a doctor.
Maybe you could help if you had a little beard.
[DISTORTED.]
Little beard.
It's a little beard.
[LAUGHS.]
Good luck with your new career, David.
No.
[BICYCLE BELL DINGS.]
Want to go for a bike ride? Yeah, but I can't move this thing.
Fine.
I guess I'll go alone.
I want to go, there's just no pedals.
- Bye, David.
- [BICYCLE BELL DINGS.]
DOUG: You have to help him, Doctor! - Who? - The patient! You have to hurry! We're not going anywhere, Doug.
Neither are you, Blondie.
[GASPS.]
[CELLPHONE DINGING, SHUTTER CLICKING.]
[GROANS.]
I was We were frozen, and I couldn't move, and What are you doing? Don't worry, these pictures are only going to Julia.
JULIA: What an idiot! I thought Rachel was texting me.
- You still haven't heard from her? - No.
Doug, report to my office for professional reasons.
Where I'm going, you cannot follow.
Oh, gosh.
What a day! Isn't this beautiful? - Yeah, it's gorgeous out.
- Mmm.
Oh, there's that tower.
Your father used to point to that tower and make up all these different stories about the people who lived inside them.
He had this really elaborate one about a man who lived with his sister, but when she got engaged, the brother killed the sister, and he buried her in the wall so he wouldn't have to live alone.
[CHUCKLES.]
Good God! What? Well, he had a great imagination.
Yeah.
Just up there is where you almost drowned.
What? Uh, miss, could we get this TV turned to the Bulls preseason game? Also, we have a Groupon for the wing roulette, so just make sure that's half off, thanks.
What's this now? It's the wing roulette.
Oh, you're gonna love it, Dad.
Okay, so they bring out all these wings, right? And some of them are barbecue, and some of them are hot.
Some of them are medium, some of them are mild, some of them are teriyaki, and some of them are Buffalo.
One of them is ghost pepper, and you do not want the ghost pepper.
I don't even know why you would want to do that.
I took Brittany out here one night for her birthday.
She got the ghost pepper.
[CHUCKLES.]
She was so pissed off.
She ordered a glass of milk for the heat.
But they don't have milk here, so she ended up having to chug a bunch of non-dairy creamer.
Yeah, I haven't seen her around the house lately.
Everything okay with her? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe.
[CHUCKLING.]
You should have seen her barfing up all that creamer, though, Dad.
This is awesome.
You know, that Brittany, she seems like a good girl for you.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, she's great.
You know, there's something to be said for, you know, a good girl setting you on the right path.
You know, I thought you two were heading towards moving in together.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, good one.
Brittany doesn't want to live in the basement.
So, where are Renetta and David going for dead dad day? For Christ's sake, Barry, have a little respect! Sorry.
Oh, God! Ghost pepper! [SCREAMS.]
Yeah, karma's a bitch, jag-off.
Ghost pepper! Hey, could I get a tall glass of non-dairy creamer for my idiot son? Son of a! Okay.
You all set? Let's dig in.
Ah.
Okay, I got napkins Oh.
Uh-oh.
Forgot to pack silverware.
Well, that's what the toast is for.
Uh-oh.
Unless the toast has been swallowed up by congealed gravy.
Aw.
[SIGHS.]
David? You know what, Mom, I'm not hungry.
Maybe we should just leave it for the birds.
Oh, well.
[SIGHS.]
Maybe a homeless person will come along.
Let's hope the birds get to it first.
I really thought it would travel better.
You know what? It was probably I think it was the shingles.
They needed to be more toasted.
[SIGHS.]
Mom, it's okay.
Hey, tell me another story about Dad.
Okay.
Oh.
This is one of my favorites.
It was early on, and we were just dating, and we watched "Jaws" one night.
And I got so scared of sharks.
[GASPS.]
My God! Your dad thought that was so funny.
He'd say, "Renetta, we live in Illinois.
" [LAUGHS.]
Well, he had a point.
I know.
Yeah, but forever after that, he would sneak up behind me and just yell, "Shark!" Used to scare the bejesus out of me.
Happened every time.
Hmm.
You know, when he wasn't all stressed out from work or trying to find work we had our good times.
We really did.
That's a great story.
- Shark! - Jesus Christ, Mom! [LAUGHS.]
I always wanted to try that.
[SIGHS.]
Come on, we need to beat the traffic.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
I got ya.
- Yeah, you got me really good.
- [CHUCKLES.]
There's something in psychology known as positive reinforcement.
I understand the nature of you coming in here, positive reinforcement means for every one negative memory that you have, I want you to think of three positive things.
About you? Sure.
Yeah, we can start there.
Okay, well, how about the time when you tricked me into closing my eyes and running onto the Crocodile Mile, which you didn't put water on.
I still have a scar on my thigh.
I ran all the way from the garage onto a dry piece of plastic.
Okay, I accept that I did wrong there.
By the way, scars are where the light is let in.
What? In the soul.
Scars are where the light comes through.
What the hell does that mean? It means imperfections are beautiful.
Get a life.
Okay.
Do you forgive me? No.
I thought I'd be a baller running with my eyes closed.
I thought I was gonna do some sweet trick at the end of the Crocodile Mile, but I just stuck, like a fat, dry-ass pig.
So, you just shared a negative memory.
Can you share three positive memories? Um, okay.
I guess while my thighs were bleeding, I was wearing a cute bathing suit.
Okay, one.
My mom let me eat a piece of raw chicken, 'cause I always wanted to try it.
What the fuck? Fuck.
[CHUCKLES.]
My challenge to myself is to swear less when I'm recording.
How you doing? - Fucking not good.
- Okay.
ALL: [REPEATING.]
Good dream.
Wait, where are you going? This wasn't a good dream.
I need more advice about my life, my job everything.
You haven't given me shit.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You're right.
You were 10 years old when I died.
I can only imagine how vulnerable that left you, how that shaped you.
The bond between a father and a son is one of the core relationships of your life.
I wanted to do more, but, you know Is this what you wanted? 'Cause I got news for you.
This isn't who I was.
You want some real advice? You wake up in the morning, kid, you put one foot in front of the other.
Putting all this pressure on yourself isn't gonna turn you into some kind of diamond.
PAUL: Whoa! Whoa! Boom! That's the good stuff! You see, that's your real dad He told it like it was.
of my short life.
I'm really lucky that I can see you now.
I really feel lucky about it.
Look at this motherfucker.
He's still going.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
I missed so much.
I'm really sorry.
I wish it had been different.
That's enough out of you.
That was kind of fun, huh? [CHUCKLES.]
It would have been great to have you around.
You know what? I will give you some advice.
Yeah, really? Shark! Good dream.
Good dream.
Good dream.
"Boys of Summer" is my favorite baseball song.
Good dream.
Good dream.
Good dream.
Little boy throwing a baseball to his big daddy.
Good dream.
Good dream.
Speaking of, "Big Daddy" great movie Yum, yum, gimme some "Big Daddy.
" Hey, David, good dream.
You're up early.
I'm actually still up.
Oh, David.
You're burning the candle at both ends.
Oh, there's no more candle.
That's long gone.
I'm just gas-lighting at this point.
But I don't think that's what that means.
You know what tomorrow is? I do.
I thought to remember Dad, we'd go to his favorite spot on the harbor, like we used to, and have a picnic, and I'll make Dad's favorite you know, shit on a shingle.
Mom, I don't think chipped beef and gravy on toast is very picnicky.
Besides, I don't know if I can do it tomorrow.
I'm gonna forget you said that, David.
You be ready at noon, rain or shine.
I will, Mom.
[SIGHS.]
Okay, well, tell me more about your work.
Oh, there's this rip-off artist who doesn't pay a cent, and I know he has money, but he's hiding it.
I need to lay down the law.
Well, how would you do that? How about something like this.
No.
Oh, no.
No, don't do that.
Stop! Don't do that to his face! No!! No!! No!! Aah!! Don't make it sexy! Oh, no! Aaaaah! Aah! [GROANS.]
So, this is a hotel room now? Oh.
Sorry.
I'm working two jobs.
I'm tired.
Two jobs and still no money? You are some piece of work.
Doctor, my ass.
I fell asleep in the waiting room.
Bernadette is delightful, by the way.
Sleep is very important to your mental health, David.
Maybe you're working too many hours.
No, I'm definitely working too many hours.
I'm doing sessions all day, then I get maybe an hour before I go to the store.
And I get home, I'm lucky to get two more hours of sleep if Barry decides to not crank his house music.
Do you think this is affecting the quality of your work? I mean yes and no.
Are you falling asleep? So, you know how I told you about mouse trap? Mm, I love Mouse Trap.
It's a great board game.
I have a crazy elbow sort of that sounds Excuse me? Crazy elbow? No.
We don't say crazy in here.
Um, are you are you listening to me? Hmm? Yeah, totally.
Okay, 'cause I don't all right.
All right, cool.
You look like shit, you know? Oh, yeah? - You having a rough day? - You could say that.
Is there anything else hindering your sleep other than your schedule? No, that's pretty much it.
I mean, I've been having a lot of weird dreams lately, but that's probably because I'm in and out of sleep constantly.
Can you describe one of these dreams for me? Sure, like the other day, I had this dream where I came in here, and we were having a normal session just like this, and then I looked up, and you were eating a hat sandwich.
[DISTORTED.]
David? [DISTORTED.]
Oh, my God.
You're eating a hat sandwich.
It's delicious.
I can't believe this is happening again.
David? You just love these hat sandwiches.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
David! You were eating a hat sandwich.
You only closed your eyes for a few seconds.
If you're dreaming the second you close your eyes, you're in REM rebound.
That's your brain telling you it's severely sleep-deprived.
You really need to get some rest.
We you alive when JFK was shot? What? We you alive when JFK was alive? Stop talking, David.
Lie down.
There's a blanket behind you.
Holy shit! [CHUCKLES.]
Why don't you just close your eyes? Good night, David.
You keep that thing gassed up for your ma? - The snow-blower? - No, Dad, it's electric.
They're almost all electric now.
Oh? Fancy.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's not fancy, that's run of the Oh.
Where are you going for dead dad day? No.
Come on.
Don't be weird.
Tell me, David.
Tell me before I die again.
You can't die again.
How do you know you're not dead and this is my dream? [GASPS DRAMATICALLY.]
[LAUGHS.]
Stop.
Don't do that.
We're going to the harbor like we always do.
Okay.
[CROWD CHEERING, ORGAN PLAYING.]
KASPER: Quite a game of catch between father and son.
They moved the mound 15 times closer to home plate.
I know what this is.
This is a dead dad dream.
I feel lost, and you represent the person I'm supposed to get advice from.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's not gonna happen, kid.
Yeah, but I need help.
Yeah, well, wake up and ask Rollie.
I'm sure he's got some real fucking chestnuts.
He's throwing baseballs to his little boy.
Rollie's all right.
Mom really loves him.
He does a lot of little stuff, like, you know, eats the burned piece of toast at breakfast.
Sounds like a real asshole.
Come on.
You want Mom to be happy.
I was her first true love.
I want her to be miserable without me.
Did you know that I get up out of my grave every day and go looking for her? [SCOFFS.]
Dad.
I'm just giving you shit.
I haven't been to my grave since the funeral.
Did you know that "Field of Dreams" was based on a true story? The true story of 18 men trapped in a corn field because of their sins.
Len Kasper nice touch.
Yeah.
He's a great guy.
Len? If it's not a hot dog, feel free to put ketchup on it.
Yeah, he never talks back in the dreams.
This dream was brought to you by Vienna Beef, your Chicago dog since 1893.
Beef.
Beef! Beef.
Beef.
Beef.
Beef [KNOCKING AT DOOR.]
I've been knocking for 10 minutes.
What the fuck's the matter with you? Nice to see you, too, Kendra.
You don't look good.
Are you hung over? Did you party last night? You look like shit.
Amanda only has two Facebook friends with beards one is her dad, and the other is Jake Arrietta.
I know she's not hooking up with either one of them.
Okay, can I have my phone back? So what if Amanda's dating a guy with a beard? Little beard, Kendra.
Doug specifically said a little beard.
Okay, you are obsessed with this.
[SIGHS.]
I'm not obsessed, okay? I'm actually kind of seeing somebody regularly.
I just want to make sure she's not dating a freak, okay? Okay, can we get back to my session? Oh, yeah, that's gonna be a bowl of laughs.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you drunk? No, I'm just working all the time, and I don't sleep.
You're practically asleep.
I'm not recording yet, so I can say shut up! You just did.
[TELEPHONE LINE RINGING.]
Hey, this is Rachel.
Leave a message.
[BEEP.]
Hey, Rachel, this is David Tracy Dr.
David Tracy.
Uh, just wanted to check in.
Looks like you missed your appointment, and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.
Hopefully, it wasn't that diner food we had the other night.
Lord knows it went through me like a Anyway, just send me a text or whatever, and we can figure out another time for an appointment.
And, um Yeah, that's That's, uh That's what I got on my end.
So, okay.
[GOOFY VOICE.]
Okaaay.
"Okaaay"? What? Jesus, be more awkward.
Be more of an awkward person.
Can I at least talk to you about girls? Oh, come on.
We were having a good time.
So, I met this girl, Rachel.
She's great.
Then she just disappeared.
Like this? - Dad, come on.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Anyway, as I was saying, I thought I really connected with Rachel.
And we had this wonderful night, and then I don't know what I did wrong.
Are we really gonna do this? It's my dream.
Give me what I want.
Fine.
I'll tell you what you did wrong.
Rachel wanted you to swing away, and you took a walk.
A walk is four balls.
No, it's not like that.
We have long-term potential.
You sound like a goddamn accountant.
I think this is what people in your biz call an un-addressed pattern of behavior.
Remember Mary Bonscarf? My seventh-grade girlfriend? You were a bit much, David.
You had all of eighth grade planned before we even finished seventh.
I mean, who wants to be tied down during the last year of junior high? That's the year you rule the school.
Yeah, but we were a good couple.
We were 13, and you wanted to settle down.
You can't force settling down, which is why they call it settling.
Yeah, I got it.
Thanks, Mary.
Like sand in a glass of water.
I get it.
You can go now.
I don't have to go anywhere.
I got this.
[CROWD CHEERING, ORGAN PLAYS.]
The batter has disappeared! Do you really think this is a pattern of mine? Jesus, why are you making yourself so stupid? This is your dream.
Remember Amanda? Hey, David! We dated for four years, and then I broke your heart! Yeah, I remember.
I broke up with you! I know! Go, Cubs! Go, Cubs.
You're really letting yourself have it in this dream.
This is the worst dream I've ever been in.
Yeah.
And you think your OCD is getting worse? Maybe.
I suppose the strongest one is keeping things parallel to each other and to other things in proximity.
Do you like to have things be perpendic Don't do that with your hands, please.
If you like to gesture, this is a very effective gesture, and it's very powerful.
Great.
Okay.
Does this manifest itself in other ways in your life? My kids can't get any sleep.
I straighten them out in the middle of the night.
Whoa.
Are you verbally abusive? No.
No, I literally straighten them in their beds so that they align horizontally with the wall.
Mm.
You know, if I were a child, that would scare me.
It would, but they're pretty much wide awake because they know I'm coming.
Have you tried researching beds that would keep them aligned? Like a coffin? No.
- God, no.
- That's a great idea.
It wouldn't have to be mahogany or anything.
I have to say I am not suggesting that your children sleep in coffins.
Like a pine-wood box.
No, that's worse.
That's a crude coffin.
Wouldn't have to call it a coffin.
Call it a sleeping box.
Who doesn't want to sleep in a sleeping box? No one wants to sleep in a sleeping box.
[P.
A.
BEEPS.]
JULIA: Paging Dr.
David.
Paging Dr.
David.
We have an emergency.
The patient is presenting with polyphasic gravi-deliquio.
Okay, I know what to do.
[JUMBLED VOICES.]
Are you gonna fix him with therapy? No.
I'm a doctor.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're, like, half a doctor.
There's no such thing as half a doctor.
Maybe you could help if you had a little beard.
[DISTORTED.]
Little beard.
It's a little beard.
[LAUGHS.]
Good luck with your new career, David.
No.
[BICYCLE BELL DINGS.]
Want to go for a bike ride? Yeah, but I can't move this thing.
Fine.
I guess I'll go alone.
I want to go, there's just no pedals.
- Bye, David.
- [BICYCLE BELL DINGS.]
DOUG: You have to help him, Doctor! - Who? - The patient! You have to hurry! We're not going anywhere, Doug.
Neither are you, Blondie.
[GASPS.]
[CELLPHONE DINGING, SHUTTER CLICKING.]
[GROANS.]
I was We were frozen, and I couldn't move, and What are you doing? Don't worry, these pictures are only going to Julia.
JULIA: What an idiot! I thought Rachel was texting me.
- You still haven't heard from her? - No.
Doug, report to my office for professional reasons.
Where I'm going, you cannot follow.
Oh, gosh.
What a day! Isn't this beautiful? - Yeah, it's gorgeous out.
- Mmm.
Oh, there's that tower.
Your father used to point to that tower and make up all these different stories about the people who lived inside them.
He had this really elaborate one about a man who lived with his sister, but when she got engaged, the brother killed the sister, and he buried her in the wall so he wouldn't have to live alone.
[CHUCKLES.]
Good God! What? Well, he had a great imagination.
Yeah.
Just up there is where you almost drowned.
What? Uh, miss, could we get this TV turned to the Bulls preseason game? Also, we have a Groupon for the wing roulette, so just make sure that's half off, thanks.
What's this now? It's the wing roulette.
Oh, you're gonna love it, Dad.
Okay, so they bring out all these wings, right? And some of them are barbecue, and some of them are hot.
Some of them are medium, some of them are mild, some of them are teriyaki, and some of them are Buffalo.
One of them is ghost pepper, and you do not want the ghost pepper.
I don't even know why you would want to do that.
I took Brittany out here one night for her birthday.
She got the ghost pepper.
[CHUCKLES.]
She was so pissed off.
She ordered a glass of milk for the heat.
But they don't have milk here, so she ended up having to chug a bunch of non-dairy creamer.
Yeah, I haven't seen her around the house lately.
Everything okay with her? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe.
[CHUCKLING.]
You should have seen her barfing up all that creamer, though, Dad.
This is awesome.
You know, that Brittany, she seems like a good girl for you.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, she's great.
You know, there's something to be said for, you know, a good girl setting you on the right path.
You know, I thought you two were heading towards moving in together.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, good one.
Brittany doesn't want to live in the basement.
So, where are Renetta and David going for dead dad day? For Christ's sake, Barry, have a little respect! Sorry.
Oh, God! Ghost pepper! [SCREAMS.]
Yeah, karma's a bitch, jag-off.
Ghost pepper! Hey, could I get a tall glass of non-dairy creamer for my idiot son? Son of a! Okay.
You all set? Let's dig in.
Ah.
Okay, I got napkins Oh.
Uh-oh.
Forgot to pack silverware.
Well, that's what the toast is for.
Uh-oh.
Unless the toast has been swallowed up by congealed gravy.
Aw.
[SIGHS.]
David? You know what, Mom, I'm not hungry.
Maybe we should just leave it for the birds.
Oh, well.
[SIGHS.]
Maybe a homeless person will come along.
Let's hope the birds get to it first.
I really thought it would travel better.
You know what? It was probably I think it was the shingles.
They needed to be more toasted.
[SIGHS.]
Mom, it's okay.
Hey, tell me another story about Dad.
Okay.
Oh.
This is one of my favorites.
It was early on, and we were just dating, and we watched "Jaws" one night.
And I got so scared of sharks.
[GASPS.]
My God! Your dad thought that was so funny.
He'd say, "Renetta, we live in Illinois.
" [LAUGHS.]
Well, he had a point.
I know.
Yeah, but forever after that, he would sneak up behind me and just yell, "Shark!" Used to scare the bejesus out of me.
Happened every time.
Hmm.
You know, when he wasn't all stressed out from work or trying to find work we had our good times.
We really did.
That's a great story.
- Shark! - Jesus Christ, Mom! [LAUGHS.]
I always wanted to try that.
[SIGHS.]
Come on, we need to beat the traffic.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
I got ya.
- Yeah, you got me really good.
- [CHUCKLES.]
There's something in psychology known as positive reinforcement.
I understand the nature of you coming in here, positive reinforcement means for every one negative memory that you have, I want you to think of three positive things.
About you? Sure.
Yeah, we can start there.
Okay, well, how about the time when you tricked me into closing my eyes and running onto the Crocodile Mile, which you didn't put water on.
I still have a scar on my thigh.
I ran all the way from the garage onto a dry piece of plastic.
Okay, I accept that I did wrong there.
By the way, scars are where the light is let in.
What? In the soul.
Scars are where the light comes through.
What the hell does that mean? It means imperfections are beautiful.
Get a life.
Okay.
Do you forgive me? No.
I thought I'd be a baller running with my eyes closed.
I thought I was gonna do some sweet trick at the end of the Crocodile Mile, but I just stuck, like a fat, dry-ass pig.
So, you just shared a negative memory.
Can you share three positive memories? Um, okay.
I guess while my thighs were bleeding, I was wearing a cute bathing suit.
Okay, one.
My mom let me eat a piece of raw chicken, 'cause I always wanted to try it.
What the fuck? Fuck.
[CHUCKLES.]
My challenge to myself is to swear less when I'm recording.
How you doing? - Fucking not good.
- Okay.
ALL: [REPEATING.]
Good dream.
Wait, where are you going? This wasn't a good dream.
I need more advice about my life, my job everything.
You haven't given me shit.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You're right.
You were 10 years old when I died.
I can only imagine how vulnerable that left you, how that shaped you.
The bond between a father and a son is one of the core relationships of your life.
I wanted to do more, but, you know Is this what you wanted? 'Cause I got news for you.
This isn't who I was.
You want some real advice? You wake up in the morning, kid, you put one foot in front of the other.
Putting all this pressure on yourself isn't gonna turn you into some kind of diamond.
PAUL: Whoa! Whoa! Boom! That's the good stuff! You see, that's your real dad He told it like it was.
of my short life.
I'm really lucky that I can see you now.
I really feel lucky about it.
Look at this motherfucker.
He's still going.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
I missed so much.
I'm really sorry.
I wish it had been different.
That's enough out of you.
That was kind of fun, huh? [CHUCKLES.]
It would have been great to have you around.
You know what? I will give you some advice.
Yeah, really? Shark! Good dream.
Good dream.
Good dream.
"Boys of Summer" is my favorite baseball song.
Good dream.
Good dream.
Good dream.
Little boy throwing a baseball to his big daddy.
Good dream.
Good dream.
Speaking of, "Big Daddy" great movie Yum, yum, gimme some "Big Daddy.
" Hey, David, good dream.