Slings and Arrows s01e06 Episode Script
Playing the Swan
Frank: This is torture.
That it is, ducky.
That it is.
(telephone ringing) Geoffrey? Fuck.
Maria: Okay Everyone is released.
Fight warm-up is at 7:00, half hour is at 7:30.
Until then Relax And stay by a phone.
Please.
Is it may? Has there been news? No.
It's jack.
He isn't here.
Isn't here? He didn't show up for rehearsal.
We've been waiting for two hours.
Oh god.
Maria sent everyone home.
It's a disaster! Um, he's upset? Ellen: We open in eight hours, Of course he's upset! Anna: You should just give him a few seconds.
Uh, it's just, uh, when he's upset He has conversations with "someone".
Just, just give him a few minutes 'til he comes around or whatever.
I'll go have a cigarette.
Geoffrey: Oliver!! Have a coffee too.
à cheer up, hamlet ô à chin up, hamlet ô à buck up, you melancholy dane ô à so your uncle is a cad ô à who murdered dad and married mum ô à that's really no excuse to be as glum as you've become ô à so wise up, hamlet ô à rise up, hamlet ô à perk up and sing a new refrain ô à your incessant monologizing ô à fills the castle with ennui ô à your antic disposition is embarrassing to see ô Ãâ and by the way, you sulky brat, ô Ãâ the answer is: To be ô à you're driving poor ophelia insane ô à so shut up! You rogue and peasant ô à grow up! It's most unpleasant ô à cheer up! You melancholy dane! à (cheers and applause) Landlady: Hope he's not lying on the floor.
I can't tell you how many of them I've found Lying on the floor.
Not just the old ones either.
Sometimes the young ones'll Take too many drugs, or what have you Well, we know he's not dead.
His stuff his gone.
You don't pack your bags for an overdose.
Can you get the door, dear? Could be another woman.
Kate: Well, thank you for your help.
Landlady: Well, if they're not droppin' dead, They're leaving you for another woman.
Oliver: I don't know why you're so mad at me.
Geoffrey: He cracked because I pushed him too hard, And I learned that nifty little directorial approach from you.
Oh that's pathetic.
Geoffrey: You pushed me, oliver.
You pushed me And then you played mental games with me, And you cajoled, you conned, You fucked my mind and my girlfriend.
Let's not forget that - the original sin.
Yes, oliver, you broke me.
You're being ridiculous.
Look at me! I'm talking to you now and you've been dead for weeks.
Look at your handiwork! All in the name of good theatre? Fuck! Oliver: Well first of all, geoffrey, you did not push him too hard.
You were much kinder with that boy Than I would have been.
If he cracked it was probably because The play was beyond him.
No, it wasn't.
And I know that.
Fine.
Secondly, all the things that you mentioned That I did to you - The mental games, the manipulation Obviously that had nothing to do with good theatre.
What are you saying? Oh come on.
You're supposed to be so perceptive.
Honestly, you can be such a fool sometimes.
Obviously I had issues, didn't I? Issues? With you.
Are you sane? ("so so" gesture) We're gonna have to cancel.
Ellen: He might show up.
Geoffrey: Do you think it was me? Ellen: What? Geoffrey: Did I scare him away? God no, you were more than kind.
You were the one who believed in him.
Geoffrey: Then what was it? Is it the play? Is it some kind of evil, devil play? Maybe it was too much for him.
That's what oliver said.
Please.
I can't deal with that right now.
Geoffrey: No I don't think it was the play.
I don't.
I think it was something else, But I don't know what.
Why did you run away? Oh come on, That was an entirely different situation.
Yes, you ran away in the middle of a performance.
Not now, please! Okay.
It was you.
Oh, come on.
You and oliver.
And a broken heart.
Or maybe it was just my time to go mad.
I don't know.
I give up.
Give up! Care to join me? Holly: Hey lover.
It's a beautiful day.
Jack did not show up to rehearsal.
They can't find him anywhere.
Oh wow, things just keep getting brighter and brighter.
He doesn't have an understudy.
Okay, well, you wait until show time.
And then when the theatre is full, Have geoffrey make an announcement.
Holly, I want to talk about what we're doing here.
Everything's on track.
I'm having dinner With the minister of culture before the show, And we pitch to the board tomorrow.
No, I want to talk about may, specifically.
Okay, what about her? Now you went and saw her and now she's in a coma.
Yeah, I saw her and when I left she was fine.
I don't believe you.
Are you a man, richard? Are you a man or are you just a little puppy dog Who does tricks for cookie treats? I'm a man.
Jesus christ! Then take responsibility for your actions, Because honey, that's what men do.
You know, I think there should be boundaries- (two hard slaps) Stop slapping me! You're the one, honey, who's gonna come on top, okay? You're the one who's gonna be running this festival, not me.
I am just a facilitator.
I do what I have to do to give you what you want: That is what you want, isn't it, richard?L.
Yes.
That's right.
Now take off your pants.
Of course.
(fumbling with belt) Oh for christ sake.
(breathing hard) Geoffrey: Oh my office is rank.
It smells to heaven.
To oliver.
I was excited about this show geoffrey, I have to confess.
Even with no rehearsals and no set.
Me too.
Ellen: It was very raw.
Unusual for this place.
This festival likes its theatre overdone.
Fry the life out of it and smother it in sauce.
You are a good director.
Thank you.
And you are a fine actress.
No, really.
It was nice not to be tarted up And shifted in and out of the light Like an inflatable sheep.
I appreciated the attention.
It was um, it's was like old times.
I'm trying to give you a compliment.
Oh sorry.
Thank you.
And I was looking forward to your gertrude.
More than you will ever know.
This isn't going to be a compliment, is it? Geoffrey: You two have a lot in common, You and the wanton queen.
Like you, she is a willing victim Of her own sexuality.
She lives to be an object of desire.
She's as happy with the good king as the bad king, Doesn't matter.
The key word here of course, is object, Because once you allow yourself to be objectified Then you will be trundled in and out of the light Like a prop, Or you will get caught up in someone's politics And be forced to drink from the poisoned chalice, Or, worst fate of all, You will be dumped by your teenaged boyfriend.
God, you're an ugly drunk.
Geoffrey: I'm just saying, it would have a been a marvelous performance.
What happened that night? Where did you go? You really want to know? Yes.
Let's get it all out.
Bring on the shit.
Fine.
I'll take you on a little tour.
But you'd better bring the bottle, It's gonna be a long trip.
(sighs) (knocking at door) Hi.
Hi.
Is this a bad time? No.
No.
What is it? Uh well, I just wanted to tell you That there's still no sign of jack.
Really.
Yeah, maria's called his manager, And he doesn't know anything.
Weird.
Yeah.
Your lip is- Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
Oh, okay.
What did you- I just fell on some things.
Anyway, I was just wondering When you thought we should, you know Well, you know, we'll give him a few hours, and And if we have to cancel, we'll cancel.
Let's hope we don't have to do that.
Yeah, that'd be terrible.
Yes.
Are we done? Geoffrey: It all started here Or ended here, Depending on whether your talking about My breakdown or my career.
All right.
Laertes was here.
Brian, much thinner then, looking dashing.
Gertrude, barbra connolly, was behind me.
She had the flu, poor thing.
Claudius was next to her.
Everybody else was safely upstage.
And I was standing by the grave.
Your grave.
Oh, the irony.
I had just finished saying Why, I will fight with him upon this theme Until my eyelids will no longer wag.
" O my son, what theme? And barbra spoke and I turned to see her, But I saw you instead.
I was watching from the wings.
I loved watching you.
Yeah, it's a bad habit.
It's very distracting.
I said the next lines to you, didn't I? Geoffrey: "I loved ophelia.
40,000 brothers could not, With all their quantity of love, make up my sum.
" Why did you fuck me over ellen? That's what I was really asking.
Why did you sleep with him? Why did you tell me about it? All right.
Please.
Anyway, that's when it all disappeared.
The entire play went (whistles) Right out of my head and I couldn't speak.
How long was I out there? Ellen: A million years.
A million years.
That's right.
O he is mad, laertes.
Gertrude: For the love of god, forebear him.
They tried to go on without you.
Yeah, well, you can only go so far without your hamlet Before you hit a speech.
"'swounds, show me what thou'lt do.
" I know that now.
But then I could offer nothing.
Nothing.
I would have cut my throat but you're not allowed To do that in front of subscribers, so I jumped in there.
Ellen: You didn't come out for seven years.
Diner: (laughing) ahoy, captain.
Ellen: Why did you go to yongs and not the theatre bar? Geoffrey: I was hoping for anonymity.
I just didn't want to be stared at anymore.
I just wanted to sit and drink.
Let me guess, carlsberg? (hysterical giggle) Geoffrey: Yes, I was in costume, but really this whole town Is filled with shakespearean kitsch.
It's like living in a gift shop.
You'd think they'd be used to it by now.
Anyway, I just Resented the attention.
Fuck off! Hey Prince charming! This is a family place.
Geoffrey: (angry shout) I think it was "prince charming" bit That got to me.
And what were you doing While I was tangling with the natives? Me? I was in the wings with oliver.
I die, horatio.
Ellen: (sobs hysterically) The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit: Geoffrey: And then I stole a car.
It was parked along here somewhere With the keys in the ignition.
That was my third crime of the evening, But it was my first felony.
And then you drove to my house.
Yes.
Taxi! (breathing hard) I'm a little embarrassed by this next part Because it was mainly theatrics.
(crash) Ellen: Were you planning to stab me? Geoffrey: Not you.
No, I assumed oliver would be here.
I just wanted to wave the knife in his face.
Maybe I wanted to stab him, I don't know.
We'll never know now, will we? Anyway, I got as far as the door, I could see the two of you in the window, In love's fond embrace, And I turned and I ran.
It wasn't an embrace.
He was trying to stop me crying.
He was trying to restrain me.
Why didn't you just come in? You were only five feet away.
Did you see me? Yes.
If you had just come in, we could have talked about it.
You could how stupid it was.
He doesn't even like women for christ's sake! (sighs) And then you ran away again.
Well how could I come in? I had a knife in my hand.
So you were trying to stab me! (breathing hard) I would have thanked you.
Okay, next.
(splash) I don't want to talk about it.
Please.
Kate We had to cancel rehearsal.
So? It's all bullshit, kate.
You guys talk a good game but it's all bullshit in the end.
You guys? What are you talking about? I feel hurt, kate.
Genuinely hurt.
I know I'm here to sell tickets But I don't need it thrown in my face.
Did someone say something to you? Who? Claire? Claire? Claire's a fucking angel.
Well then who? It was richard, kate.
He said it didn't matter what I did on stage, Nobody expects anything of me.
He told me that geoffrey said The show would sell out no matter what My fucking high-brow genius director.
Richard said that? Yeah, he said it last night right before I went on stage.
I mean, what the hell is that? The new burbage theatre festival, you know? I'd rather be in l.
A.
Where the assholes tell you to your face That they're assholes.
Jack, that That doesn't sound right.
No, it doesn't sound fucking right, does it? I don't want to talk about it anymore.
I'm getting pissed off again.
You going? I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
I've gotten into three cabs today.
I keep wanting to say airport, But I just end up going for a ride.
You staying 'cause of me? Kate, please, I can't deal with relationship shit On top of all this.
Sorry.
Jack: Just walk with me, okay? Man, I feel like my brain's gonna explode.
(struggling grunts) Ellen: I read about it in the paper.
Geoffrey: Yes.
Thank you basil.
Ellen: Why did- Geoffrey: I wanted to throttle a swan.
It seemed sensible at the time.
Geoffrey: Why did you fuck oliver? I don't know.
He was my director.
I tried to kill myself that night.
I didn't know that.
Basil was more discreet about my breakdown.
Young oliver: Come back here right now! Young ellen: Get back! Leave me alone, oliver! Young oliver: Ellen, stop it! Ellen: No, no, get back, oliver! Get back! (screams) (splash) Oh, shit! Ellen: I wasn't thinking very clearly geoffrey.
(hysterical laughter) Ellen: Don't laugh! I was extremely upset.
Georgia had to stay up all night cleaning my costume.
Oh, god.
Oliver should be here.
He would love this.
(laughs) You want to go for a ride? I want to steer.
All right.
Jack: Everyone's going to hate me For throwing a fit and running away.
Kate: No, no one's going to hate you.
It's just a screwed up process.
So, you're saying you want to do it? Jack: Fucking right I want to do it! I wanted to do it yesterday.
Kate: Well, then that's the important part.
My head's all messed up.
Fuck! Who am I kidding, I have to do it.
I'm an actor and it's hamlet.
What am I going to do? Walk away? I'd feel like a loser my whole life.
So you're afraid to do it but you know you have to And if you don't you won't be able to live with yourself.
Yes.
Well, I think you can use that on stage.
How did you find me, anyway? I met you on a bus, remember? Jack: Hey look, a swan boat.
Ellen: There they are.
Right there.
Geoffrey: All the losers come to the river.
Ellen: They haven't seen us yet.
Geoffrey: All right, duck down.
You know, we could stay right here in this swan.
We could just drift down river.
Eventually we'd find some open water - We'd be free.
Ellen: God.
Why don't we give up? I mean, really, what would it matter, If we didn't open this show? In the larger sense it wouldn't matter at all.
In the larger sense nothing matters.
Seriously, geoffrey, I think about it all the time.
No more opening night diarrhea, No more explaining bad reviews to my mother, No more worrying and obsessing and cramming.
I think about it all the time.
But you haven't quit.
No.
Why? I mean, not that I'm encouraging you I don't know how to do anything else.
I'd starve to death if I left the theatre.
You stay in the theatre Because you don't want to starve to death? And I like it.
W that is irony.
I like it when the story's good and the audience is listening.
And you like the good reviews, And you like the standing ovations, And you like all of those fans.
Yes, I'm shallow.
I'm shallow, I admit it.
I wonder what life would be like If I could bake, or something.
Ah well ,you would be the bakery queen.
And you would be constantly late, You'd be petty and argumentative, And everyone would hate you.
But the people, Well they would still line up to buy your tarts.
Man: Number six, could you please bring your swan in, Your time is up.
You can be so sweet when you're not raving.
(laughs) This was nice.
Thank you for letting me steer.
Well, why don't you take it in, And I'll try and think of something encouraging To say to the boy.
How about "the show must go on"? Hmm, he might take that as a threat, But I'll give it a shot.
(trumpeting) Holly: Minister, I'd have to say "dancing queen" Was my favorite number, But um, didn't you love the way they worked "take a chance on me" into the story? I just love that.
The bar? Oh yeah, in there to the left.
Stick to the chardonnay! (kiss smack) Why would richard say that? Why would he go out of his way to fuck with my mind? I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, why would a man kill his brother And marry his sister-in-law? Well, it's a fucked-up world.
Yeah, it is, it is.
Especially for actors.
Actors are entirely dependant on other people They need a writer, the need a director, They need someone to make their costumes, and sets, and props.
They need a theatre.
Worst of all, they need other actors.
That's a lot of people.
That's not even including the audience.
And you bring all those people into one place, The odds are you're going to get screwed by somebody.
Usually somebody wearing a tie.
I never looked at it that way.
Well, you can't can you? Otherwise you go mad.
Are you up to some notes? I mean, I don't want to overwhelm you or anything.
It's just blocking.
I want you to be seen.
Yeah, what the hell.
Shoot.
(knocks on door) Break legs, everyone.
It's a good crowd out there.
Well, break legs.
Cyril: Break your own legs.
Saboteur.
Cyril: Quislisy.
It's past the half.
You shouldn't be back here.
(knocks on door) Ten minutes, gentlemen! Geoffrey: Uh, oh yeah, You're drifting kind of to the right on osric's entrance.
And so just try and keep stage left.
You know, if you're ever in doubt just find your light.
Jack: Oh jesus, I don't know what that means.
What? Find your light.
I've said it to you like, a dozen times.
Every time you say it I never knew what you meant.
I just nod my head when you say it.
Wow.
Okay, um Light is hot, And when you're in your light, You're gonna feel it on your face.
Look, My hands are shaking.
I feel sick.
Fucking richard, man! I can't get through this.
The play's too big.
I can't wrap my head around it, I'm just a face, you know? Normally, I don't think I've ever had to keep it up For more than three eighths of a page.
And sometimes it's just a glance, you know? And then you do it 20 times until you get it perfect.
Well forget about perfection.
There's nothing more boring than perfection.
Imprecision, fear This is what gets them to their feet.
Yeah, well I should be brilliant then.
Geoffrey: And it is not that big of a play.
Yeah, right.
Geoffrey: Come here, sit down.
Sit.
All right, look at me.
I want you to think of it in terms of six soliloquies, okay? And count 'em off with me.
"o, that this too too solid flesh".
"o, what a rogue and peasant slave am I".
"to be, or not to be".
"tis now the very witching hour".
That's a short one, that's only twelve lines.
"now might I do it pat".
"how all occasions do inform against me".
That's it.
Six.
And the rest, as they say, is silence.
I think there's some dialogue in between.
Filler.
Nail those six soliloquies, everyone goes home happy.
(sighs) Jack, jack, jack.
You can do this.
I'll be there.
Maria: This is your five minute call.
Five minutes to the top of the show.
Hmm.
(retches) I'll give you a moment alone.
Nahum, I've got to get to my seat.
It's too late.
The house lights are down.
I can't let you through.
Is there another way around? Eh, under the stage and through the paint room And into the offices, And then through the front doors, But you will have to wait until intermission.
Through the- through the paint room? Maria: Places please for the top of act one.
Places, please.
Okay, well, I guess I'll just watch from here.
See the actors at work.
Careful.
If a farmer names his pigs, It makes the slaughter very difficult.
Six soliloquies.
(sighs) God help us.
Lx one.
Go.
Frank: Who's there? Nay, answer me.
Stand and unfold yourself.
Long live the king! (relieved sigh) Cyril: Bernardo? Frank: He.
Cyril: You come most carefully upon your hour.
Frank: Oh, 'tis now struck twelve.
Get thee to bed, francisco.
Cyril: For this relief much thanks, 'tis bitter cold And I am sick at heart.
Frank: Ah.
Horatio: Break we our watch up, and by my advice, Let us impart what we have seen This first one's gonna be easy for you.
You are so sick of the world and all the people in it.
You just wish you could melt.
Stay up left of laertes on your entrance.
I'm gonna throw up.
Geoffrey: Use it.
(applause) Alan: Though yet of hamlet our dear brother's death The memory be green, That it befitted us to wear our hearts in grief And our whole kingdom to be contracted In one brow of woe.
Yet so far hath discretion fought with nature Alan's in good voice.
I hope so.
It's all he's got.
Alan: Re-speaking earthly thunder.
Come away.
Cyril: Here we go.
Moment of truth.
O, that this too too solid flesh Would melt Thaw and resolve itself into a dew! Or that the everlasting had not fix'd his canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O god! God! How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable, Seem to me all the uses of this world! Fie on it! Ah fie! 'tis an unweeded garden, that grows to seed.
Things rank and gross in nature possess it merely.
That it should come to this! Maria: Lx 22.
Go.
Polonius: How now, ophelia! What's the matter? O, my lord, my lord, I have been so affrighted! Polonius: With what, in the name of god? My lord, while I was sewing in my chamber, lord hamlet, His doublet all unbraced, no hat upon his head, His stockings foul'd, ungarter'd And down-gyved to his ancle.
Pale as his shirt, His knees knocking each other She's good.
Kate: And with a look so piteous in purport As if he had been loosed out of hell to speak of horrors She's good.
Geoffrey: You are disgusted with yourself.
You are a coward.
You are not a man.
You are a weak and passionless failure.
O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I! Geoffrey: On some level you long for this to be over.
You long for rest, mental, spiritual rest.
I know this one.
Jack: To be, or not to be That is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind To suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, (cell phone vibrates) And by opposing end them? To die, To sleep.
No more.
And by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache And the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to Lx 48.
Go.
Jack: Lady, shall I lie in your lap? Kate: No my lord.
Jack: I mean, my head upon your lap? Kate: Aye, my lord.
Jack: Do you think I meant country matters? Kate: I think nothing, my lord.
Jack: 'tis a fair thought indeed to lie between maids' legs.
Audience: (laughs) Jack: 'tis now the very witching time of night, When churchyards yawn and hell itself Breathes out contagion to this world.
Now could I drink hot blood, and do such bitter business As the day would quake to look on.
Lx 57.
Go.
Jack: Now might I do it pat, now he is praying, And now I'll do it.
And so he goes to heaven and so am I revenged.
That would be scanned, A villain kills my father And for that, I, his sole son Nahum: Ah, fate plays with our prince.
What? He cannot kill the king while he prays.
Ellen: O hamlet, speak no more.
Thou turn'st mine eyes into my very soul, And there I see such black and grained spots As will not leave their tinct.
Jack: Nay But to live in the rank sweat of an enseamed bed, Stew'd in corruption, Honeying and making love over a nasty sty! O, speak to me no more! Thy words, like daggers, enter in mine ears.
No more, sweet hamlet! (sobbing) How all occasions do inform against me, And spur my dull revenge! What is a man, If his chief good and market of his time Be but to sleep and feed? It's number six.
I was wondering when you'd show up.
He's in the home stretch.
Very good and all that, but You've forgotten something.
What? A promise made to an old man.
No ellen and I talked about that this morning.
Not that one.
Oh shit! Jack: Examples gross as earth exhort me.
Witness this army of such mass and charge Led by a delicate and tender prince (breathing hard) Oliver: Good job, geoff.
And I'm sorry about ellen and me.
I suppose I always knew that you were better than me.
Could we talk about this later? Oliver: Sorry.
Kate: (singing) ô and will he not come again? à à and will he not come again? à à no, no, he is dead.
à à go to thy death-bed, ô à he never will come again.
à à he is gone à Jack: Whose was it? Gravedigger: A whoreson mad fellow's it was.
Whose do you think it was? Jack: Nay, I know not.
Gravedigger: A pestilence on him for a mad rogue! On my head once.
That same skull, sir, Was yorick's skull, the king's jester.
Oliver: Good-bye, geoffrey.
Thanks, oliver.
Jack: Let me see it.
(relieved sigh) Alas, poor yorick! I knew him, horatio, A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.
(shocked gasps) Jack: O, I die, horatio.
The potent poison quite over-crows my spirit.
I cannot live to hear the news from England, But I do prophesy the election lights on fortinbras.
He has my dying voice.
So tell him, With the occurrents, more and less, Which have solicited.
The rest Is silence.
(crying) Horatio: Good night sweet prince, And flights of angels Sing thee to thy rest! Lx 129.
Go.
And fuck me blue, we're done.
(enthusiastic applause) (cheers and applause) Richard: Bravo! Geoffrey: Great show.
Fantastic! Great show, good work.
Great show.
That's was it! That was beautiful, beautiful.
Holy shit, man.
Hey, they're not finished with you.
Get out there.
Come on, go! (excited cheers and applause) That was I don't know what to say.
That was incredible! You know, I saw a chorus line when I was 16 years old- The critics are gonna slaughter us.
What? How can they? Because jack is an american movie actor.
That's all they're gonna write about, right? They can't ignore what happened on this stage tonight.
What did happened, exactly? I I don't know! This is all new to me.
Well please, join us again.
We do eight shows a week, Matinees on wednesdays and saturdays.
(happy cheers and chatter) Great.
Very good.
Good, Oh, geoff.
Thanks.
It was wild.
Hey! Ah, I wish I could've given you a line, but Oh, I think if I had a line to say I would have shit myself.
Oh, maybe I should've given you a line.
Kate: Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
(shrieks) Is there anything better than this? Geoffrey: Better than this? Well, uh (shrieks) Geoffrey: Wonderful work.
The little shit.
She was better than me.
Who? Ellen: You know who.
Geoffrey I don't know what your plans are for next year, But please don't make me play the nurse.
You got a couple years left before you play the nurse.
Ellen: Well, one year anyway.
Geoffrey: I was thinking more along the lines of Cleopatra.
I would like that, very much.
Are you free tomorrow morning? Yeah.
It's a race day.
A what? Nothing.
I am, why? Geoffrey: Well, in case I forgot to mention it, We should meet at the place.
The spot? Mmm hmm.
11:00.
Wear something black.
Great fuckin' show, man! Good job.
Hey,hi.
Len.
It's show time.
Are you ready? I need a second.
I'm I need a second.
Holly: The board is waiting.
Shake it off, honey.
Destiny calls.
Don't forget the model.
(calling) holly.
Holly: Yeah, sugar? Richard: Holly You are a really terrible, terrible person.
(snaps lock shut) (slaps against window) Richard! (banging at door) Richard! Open the door! (pounding at door) Fuck! Ellen: Don't even think about pushing me in.
This is an armani.
Geoffrey: Don't worry.
That's not what I had in mind.
Ellen: What's that? Geoffrey: The rest of oliver, minus his head.
It's our final obligation.
Oh, right.
He always said he wanted to be sprinkled in the What did he call it? Ganges north.
Ganges north.
Right.
Shall we do this together? I mean, it's not a very dignified resting place, What with the swans.
I am the cygnet to this pale faint swan Who chants a doleful hymn to his own death And from the organ-pipe of frailty sings His soul and body to their lasting rest.
Goodbye, oliver.
Coffee? I'm dying for a coffee.
That it is, ducky.
That it is.
(telephone ringing) Geoffrey? Fuck.
Maria: Okay Everyone is released.
Fight warm-up is at 7:00, half hour is at 7:30.
Until then Relax And stay by a phone.
Please.
Is it may? Has there been news? No.
It's jack.
He isn't here.
Isn't here? He didn't show up for rehearsal.
We've been waiting for two hours.
Oh god.
Maria sent everyone home.
It's a disaster! Um, he's upset? Ellen: We open in eight hours, Of course he's upset! Anna: You should just give him a few seconds.
Uh, it's just, uh, when he's upset He has conversations with "someone".
Just, just give him a few minutes 'til he comes around or whatever.
I'll go have a cigarette.
Geoffrey: Oliver!! Have a coffee too.
à cheer up, hamlet ô à chin up, hamlet ô à buck up, you melancholy dane ô à so your uncle is a cad ô à who murdered dad and married mum ô à that's really no excuse to be as glum as you've become ô à so wise up, hamlet ô à rise up, hamlet ô à perk up and sing a new refrain ô à your incessant monologizing ô à fills the castle with ennui ô à your antic disposition is embarrassing to see ô Ãâ and by the way, you sulky brat, ô Ãâ the answer is: To be ô à you're driving poor ophelia insane ô à so shut up! You rogue and peasant ô à grow up! It's most unpleasant ô à cheer up! You melancholy dane! à (cheers and applause) Landlady: Hope he's not lying on the floor.
I can't tell you how many of them I've found Lying on the floor.
Not just the old ones either.
Sometimes the young ones'll Take too many drugs, or what have you Well, we know he's not dead.
His stuff his gone.
You don't pack your bags for an overdose.
Can you get the door, dear? Could be another woman.
Kate: Well, thank you for your help.
Landlady: Well, if they're not droppin' dead, They're leaving you for another woman.
Oliver: I don't know why you're so mad at me.
Geoffrey: He cracked because I pushed him too hard, And I learned that nifty little directorial approach from you.
Oh that's pathetic.
Geoffrey: You pushed me, oliver.
You pushed me And then you played mental games with me, And you cajoled, you conned, You fucked my mind and my girlfriend.
Let's not forget that - the original sin.
Yes, oliver, you broke me.
You're being ridiculous.
Look at me! I'm talking to you now and you've been dead for weeks.
Look at your handiwork! All in the name of good theatre? Fuck! Oliver: Well first of all, geoffrey, you did not push him too hard.
You were much kinder with that boy Than I would have been.
If he cracked it was probably because The play was beyond him.
No, it wasn't.
And I know that.
Fine.
Secondly, all the things that you mentioned That I did to you - The mental games, the manipulation Obviously that had nothing to do with good theatre.
What are you saying? Oh come on.
You're supposed to be so perceptive.
Honestly, you can be such a fool sometimes.
Obviously I had issues, didn't I? Issues? With you.
Are you sane? ("so so" gesture) We're gonna have to cancel.
Ellen: He might show up.
Geoffrey: Do you think it was me? Ellen: What? Geoffrey: Did I scare him away? God no, you were more than kind.
You were the one who believed in him.
Geoffrey: Then what was it? Is it the play? Is it some kind of evil, devil play? Maybe it was too much for him.
That's what oliver said.
Please.
I can't deal with that right now.
Geoffrey: No I don't think it was the play.
I don't.
I think it was something else, But I don't know what.
Why did you run away? Oh come on, That was an entirely different situation.
Yes, you ran away in the middle of a performance.
Not now, please! Okay.
It was you.
Oh, come on.
You and oliver.
And a broken heart.
Or maybe it was just my time to go mad.
I don't know.
I give up.
Give up! Care to join me? Holly: Hey lover.
It's a beautiful day.
Jack did not show up to rehearsal.
They can't find him anywhere.
Oh wow, things just keep getting brighter and brighter.
He doesn't have an understudy.
Okay, well, you wait until show time.
And then when the theatre is full, Have geoffrey make an announcement.
Holly, I want to talk about what we're doing here.
Everything's on track.
I'm having dinner With the minister of culture before the show, And we pitch to the board tomorrow.
No, I want to talk about may, specifically.
Okay, what about her? Now you went and saw her and now she's in a coma.
Yeah, I saw her and when I left she was fine.
I don't believe you.
Are you a man, richard? Are you a man or are you just a little puppy dog Who does tricks for cookie treats? I'm a man.
Jesus christ! Then take responsibility for your actions, Because honey, that's what men do.
You know, I think there should be boundaries- (two hard slaps) Stop slapping me! You're the one, honey, who's gonna come on top, okay? You're the one who's gonna be running this festival, not me.
I am just a facilitator.
I do what I have to do to give you what you want: That is what you want, isn't it, richard?L.
Yes.
That's right.
Now take off your pants.
Of course.
(fumbling with belt) Oh for christ sake.
(breathing hard) Geoffrey: Oh my office is rank.
It smells to heaven.
To oliver.
I was excited about this show geoffrey, I have to confess.
Even with no rehearsals and no set.
Me too.
Ellen: It was very raw.
Unusual for this place.
This festival likes its theatre overdone.
Fry the life out of it and smother it in sauce.
You are a good director.
Thank you.
And you are a fine actress.
No, really.
It was nice not to be tarted up And shifted in and out of the light Like an inflatable sheep.
I appreciated the attention.
It was um, it's was like old times.
I'm trying to give you a compliment.
Oh sorry.
Thank you.
And I was looking forward to your gertrude.
More than you will ever know.
This isn't going to be a compliment, is it? Geoffrey: You two have a lot in common, You and the wanton queen.
Like you, she is a willing victim Of her own sexuality.
She lives to be an object of desire.
She's as happy with the good king as the bad king, Doesn't matter.
The key word here of course, is object, Because once you allow yourself to be objectified Then you will be trundled in and out of the light Like a prop, Or you will get caught up in someone's politics And be forced to drink from the poisoned chalice, Or, worst fate of all, You will be dumped by your teenaged boyfriend.
God, you're an ugly drunk.
Geoffrey: I'm just saying, it would have a been a marvelous performance.
What happened that night? Where did you go? You really want to know? Yes.
Let's get it all out.
Bring on the shit.
Fine.
I'll take you on a little tour.
But you'd better bring the bottle, It's gonna be a long trip.
(sighs) (knocking at door) Hi.
Hi.
Is this a bad time? No.
No.
What is it? Uh well, I just wanted to tell you That there's still no sign of jack.
Really.
Yeah, maria's called his manager, And he doesn't know anything.
Weird.
Yeah.
Your lip is- Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
Oh, okay.
What did you- I just fell on some things.
Anyway, I was just wondering When you thought we should, you know Well, you know, we'll give him a few hours, and And if we have to cancel, we'll cancel.
Let's hope we don't have to do that.
Yeah, that'd be terrible.
Yes.
Are we done? Geoffrey: It all started here Or ended here, Depending on whether your talking about My breakdown or my career.
All right.
Laertes was here.
Brian, much thinner then, looking dashing.
Gertrude, barbra connolly, was behind me.
She had the flu, poor thing.
Claudius was next to her.
Everybody else was safely upstage.
And I was standing by the grave.
Your grave.
Oh, the irony.
I had just finished saying Why, I will fight with him upon this theme Until my eyelids will no longer wag.
" O my son, what theme? And barbra spoke and I turned to see her, But I saw you instead.
I was watching from the wings.
I loved watching you.
Yeah, it's a bad habit.
It's very distracting.
I said the next lines to you, didn't I? Geoffrey: "I loved ophelia.
40,000 brothers could not, With all their quantity of love, make up my sum.
" Why did you fuck me over ellen? That's what I was really asking.
Why did you sleep with him? Why did you tell me about it? All right.
Please.
Anyway, that's when it all disappeared.
The entire play went (whistles) Right out of my head and I couldn't speak.
How long was I out there? Ellen: A million years.
A million years.
That's right.
O he is mad, laertes.
Gertrude: For the love of god, forebear him.
They tried to go on without you.
Yeah, well, you can only go so far without your hamlet Before you hit a speech.
"'swounds, show me what thou'lt do.
" I know that now.
But then I could offer nothing.
Nothing.
I would have cut my throat but you're not allowed To do that in front of subscribers, so I jumped in there.
Ellen: You didn't come out for seven years.
Diner: (laughing) ahoy, captain.
Ellen: Why did you go to yongs and not the theatre bar? Geoffrey: I was hoping for anonymity.
I just didn't want to be stared at anymore.
I just wanted to sit and drink.
Let me guess, carlsberg? (hysterical giggle) Geoffrey: Yes, I was in costume, but really this whole town Is filled with shakespearean kitsch.
It's like living in a gift shop.
You'd think they'd be used to it by now.
Anyway, I just Resented the attention.
Fuck off! Hey Prince charming! This is a family place.
Geoffrey: (angry shout) I think it was "prince charming" bit That got to me.
And what were you doing While I was tangling with the natives? Me? I was in the wings with oliver.
I die, horatio.
Ellen: (sobs hysterically) The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit: Geoffrey: And then I stole a car.
It was parked along here somewhere With the keys in the ignition.
That was my third crime of the evening, But it was my first felony.
And then you drove to my house.
Yes.
Taxi! (breathing hard) I'm a little embarrassed by this next part Because it was mainly theatrics.
(crash) Ellen: Were you planning to stab me? Geoffrey: Not you.
No, I assumed oliver would be here.
I just wanted to wave the knife in his face.
Maybe I wanted to stab him, I don't know.
We'll never know now, will we? Anyway, I got as far as the door, I could see the two of you in the window, In love's fond embrace, And I turned and I ran.
It wasn't an embrace.
He was trying to stop me crying.
He was trying to restrain me.
Why didn't you just come in? You were only five feet away.
Did you see me? Yes.
If you had just come in, we could have talked about it.
You could how stupid it was.
He doesn't even like women for christ's sake! (sighs) And then you ran away again.
Well how could I come in? I had a knife in my hand.
So you were trying to stab me! (breathing hard) I would have thanked you.
Okay, next.
(splash) I don't want to talk about it.
Please.
Kate We had to cancel rehearsal.
So? It's all bullshit, kate.
You guys talk a good game but it's all bullshit in the end.
You guys? What are you talking about? I feel hurt, kate.
Genuinely hurt.
I know I'm here to sell tickets But I don't need it thrown in my face.
Did someone say something to you? Who? Claire? Claire? Claire's a fucking angel.
Well then who? It was richard, kate.
He said it didn't matter what I did on stage, Nobody expects anything of me.
He told me that geoffrey said The show would sell out no matter what My fucking high-brow genius director.
Richard said that? Yeah, he said it last night right before I went on stage.
I mean, what the hell is that? The new burbage theatre festival, you know? I'd rather be in l.
A.
Where the assholes tell you to your face That they're assholes.
Jack, that That doesn't sound right.
No, it doesn't sound fucking right, does it? I don't want to talk about it anymore.
I'm getting pissed off again.
You going? I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
I've gotten into three cabs today.
I keep wanting to say airport, But I just end up going for a ride.
You staying 'cause of me? Kate, please, I can't deal with relationship shit On top of all this.
Sorry.
Jack: Just walk with me, okay? Man, I feel like my brain's gonna explode.
(struggling grunts) Ellen: I read about it in the paper.
Geoffrey: Yes.
Thank you basil.
Ellen: Why did- Geoffrey: I wanted to throttle a swan.
It seemed sensible at the time.
Geoffrey: Why did you fuck oliver? I don't know.
He was my director.
I tried to kill myself that night.
I didn't know that.
Basil was more discreet about my breakdown.
Young oliver: Come back here right now! Young ellen: Get back! Leave me alone, oliver! Young oliver: Ellen, stop it! Ellen: No, no, get back, oliver! Get back! (screams) (splash) Oh, shit! Ellen: I wasn't thinking very clearly geoffrey.
(hysterical laughter) Ellen: Don't laugh! I was extremely upset.
Georgia had to stay up all night cleaning my costume.
Oh, god.
Oliver should be here.
He would love this.
(laughs) You want to go for a ride? I want to steer.
All right.
Jack: Everyone's going to hate me For throwing a fit and running away.
Kate: No, no one's going to hate you.
It's just a screwed up process.
So, you're saying you want to do it? Jack: Fucking right I want to do it! I wanted to do it yesterday.
Kate: Well, then that's the important part.
My head's all messed up.
Fuck! Who am I kidding, I have to do it.
I'm an actor and it's hamlet.
What am I going to do? Walk away? I'd feel like a loser my whole life.
So you're afraid to do it but you know you have to And if you don't you won't be able to live with yourself.
Yes.
Well, I think you can use that on stage.
How did you find me, anyway? I met you on a bus, remember? Jack: Hey look, a swan boat.
Ellen: There they are.
Right there.
Geoffrey: All the losers come to the river.
Ellen: They haven't seen us yet.
Geoffrey: All right, duck down.
You know, we could stay right here in this swan.
We could just drift down river.
Eventually we'd find some open water - We'd be free.
Ellen: God.
Why don't we give up? I mean, really, what would it matter, If we didn't open this show? In the larger sense it wouldn't matter at all.
In the larger sense nothing matters.
Seriously, geoffrey, I think about it all the time.
No more opening night diarrhea, No more explaining bad reviews to my mother, No more worrying and obsessing and cramming.
I think about it all the time.
But you haven't quit.
No.
Why? I mean, not that I'm encouraging you I don't know how to do anything else.
I'd starve to death if I left the theatre.
You stay in the theatre Because you don't want to starve to death? And I like it.
W that is irony.
I like it when the story's good and the audience is listening.
And you like the good reviews, And you like the standing ovations, And you like all of those fans.
Yes, I'm shallow.
I'm shallow, I admit it.
I wonder what life would be like If I could bake, or something.
Ah well ,you would be the bakery queen.
And you would be constantly late, You'd be petty and argumentative, And everyone would hate you.
But the people, Well they would still line up to buy your tarts.
Man: Number six, could you please bring your swan in, Your time is up.
You can be so sweet when you're not raving.
(laughs) This was nice.
Thank you for letting me steer.
Well, why don't you take it in, And I'll try and think of something encouraging To say to the boy.
How about "the show must go on"? Hmm, he might take that as a threat, But I'll give it a shot.
(trumpeting) Holly: Minister, I'd have to say "dancing queen" Was my favorite number, But um, didn't you love the way they worked "take a chance on me" into the story? I just love that.
The bar? Oh yeah, in there to the left.
Stick to the chardonnay! (kiss smack) Why would richard say that? Why would he go out of his way to fuck with my mind? I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, why would a man kill his brother And marry his sister-in-law? Well, it's a fucked-up world.
Yeah, it is, it is.
Especially for actors.
Actors are entirely dependant on other people They need a writer, the need a director, They need someone to make their costumes, and sets, and props.
They need a theatre.
Worst of all, they need other actors.
That's a lot of people.
That's not even including the audience.
And you bring all those people into one place, The odds are you're going to get screwed by somebody.
Usually somebody wearing a tie.
I never looked at it that way.
Well, you can't can you? Otherwise you go mad.
Are you up to some notes? I mean, I don't want to overwhelm you or anything.
It's just blocking.
I want you to be seen.
Yeah, what the hell.
Shoot.
(knocks on door) Break legs, everyone.
It's a good crowd out there.
Well, break legs.
Cyril: Break your own legs.
Saboteur.
Cyril: Quislisy.
It's past the half.
You shouldn't be back here.
(knocks on door) Ten minutes, gentlemen! Geoffrey: Uh, oh yeah, You're drifting kind of to the right on osric's entrance.
And so just try and keep stage left.
You know, if you're ever in doubt just find your light.
Jack: Oh jesus, I don't know what that means.
What? Find your light.
I've said it to you like, a dozen times.
Every time you say it I never knew what you meant.
I just nod my head when you say it.
Wow.
Okay, um Light is hot, And when you're in your light, You're gonna feel it on your face.
Look, My hands are shaking.
I feel sick.
Fucking richard, man! I can't get through this.
The play's too big.
I can't wrap my head around it, I'm just a face, you know? Normally, I don't think I've ever had to keep it up For more than three eighths of a page.
And sometimes it's just a glance, you know? And then you do it 20 times until you get it perfect.
Well forget about perfection.
There's nothing more boring than perfection.
Imprecision, fear This is what gets them to their feet.
Yeah, well I should be brilliant then.
Geoffrey: And it is not that big of a play.
Yeah, right.
Geoffrey: Come here, sit down.
Sit.
All right, look at me.
I want you to think of it in terms of six soliloquies, okay? And count 'em off with me.
"o, that this too too solid flesh".
"o, what a rogue and peasant slave am I".
"to be, or not to be".
"tis now the very witching hour".
That's a short one, that's only twelve lines.
"now might I do it pat".
"how all occasions do inform against me".
That's it.
Six.
And the rest, as they say, is silence.
I think there's some dialogue in between.
Filler.
Nail those six soliloquies, everyone goes home happy.
(sighs) Jack, jack, jack.
You can do this.
I'll be there.
Maria: This is your five minute call.
Five minutes to the top of the show.
Hmm.
(retches) I'll give you a moment alone.
Nahum, I've got to get to my seat.
It's too late.
The house lights are down.
I can't let you through.
Is there another way around? Eh, under the stage and through the paint room And into the offices, And then through the front doors, But you will have to wait until intermission.
Through the- through the paint room? Maria: Places please for the top of act one.
Places, please.
Okay, well, I guess I'll just watch from here.
See the actors at work.
Careful.
If a farmer names his pigs, It makes the slaughter very difficult.
Six soliloquies.
(sighs) God help us.
Lx one.
Go.
Frank: Who's there? Nay, answer me.
Stand and unfold yourself.
Long live the king! (relieved sigh) Cyril: Bernardo? Frank: He.
Cyril: You come most carefully upon your hour.
Frank: Oh, 'tis now struck twelve.
Get thee to bed, francisco.
Cyril: For this relief much thanks, 'tis bitter cold And I am sick at heart.
Frank: Ah.
Horatio: Break we our watch up, and by my advice, Let us impart what we have seen This first one's gonna be easy for you.
You are so sick of the world and all the people in it.
You just wish you could melt.
Stay up left of laertes on your entrance.
I'm gonna throw up.
Geoffrey: Use it.
(applause) Alan: Though yet of hamlet our dear brother's death The memory be green, That it befitted us to wear our hearts in grief And our whole kingdom to be contracted In one brow of woe.
Yet so far hath discretion fought with nature Alan's in good voice.
I hope so.
It's all he's got.
Alan: Re-speaking earthly thunder.
Come away.
Cyril: Here we go.
Moment of truth.
O, that this too too solid flesh Would melt Thaw and resolve itself into a dew! Or that the everlasting had not fix'd his canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O god! God! How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable, Seem to me all the uses of this world! Fie on it! Ah fie! 'tis an unweeded garden, that grows to seed.
Things rank and gross in nature possess it merely.
That it should come to this! Maria: Lx 22.
Go.
Polonius: How now, ophelia! What's the matter? O, my lord, my lord, I have been so affrighted! Polonius: With what, in the name of god? My lord, while I was sewing in my chamber, lord hamlet, His doublet all unbraced, no hat upon his head, His stockings foul'd, ungarter'd And down-gyved to his ancle.
Pale as his shirt, His knees knocking each other She's good.
Kate: And with a look so piteous in purport As if he had been loosed out of hell to speak of horrors She's good.
Geoffrey: You are disgusted with yourself.
You are a coward.
You are not a man.
You are a weak and passionless failure.
O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I! Geoffrey: On some level you long for this to be over.
You long for rest, mental, spiritual rest.
I know this one.
Jack: To be, or not to be That is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind To suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, (cell phone vibrates) And by opposing end them? To die, To sleep.
No more.
And by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache And the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to Lx 48.
Go.
Jack: Lady, shall I lie in your lap? Kate: No my lord.
Jack: I mean, my head upon your lap? Kate: Aye, my lord.
Jack: Do you think I meant country matters? Kate: I think nothing, my lord.
Jack: 'tis a fair thought indeed to lie between maids' legs.
Audience: (laughs) Jack: 'tis now the very witching time of night, When churchyards yawn and hell itself Breathes out contagion to this world.
Now could I drink hot blood, and do such bitter business As the day would quake to look on.
Lx 57.
Go.
Jack: Now might I do it pat, now he is praying, And now I'll do it.
And so he goes to heaven and so am I revenged.
That would be scanned, A villain kills my father And for that, I, his sole son Nahum: Ah, fate plays with our prince.
What? He cannot kill the king while he prays.
Ellen: O hamlet, speak no more.
Thou turn'st mine eyes into my very soul, And there I see such black and grained spots As will not leave their tinct.
Jack: Nay But to live in the rank sweat of an enseamed bed, Stew'd in corruption, Honeying and making love over a nasty sty! O, speak to me no more! Thy words, like daggers, enter in mine ears.
No more, sweet hamlet! (sobbing) How all occasions do inform against me, And spur my dull revenge! What is a man, If his chief good and market of his time Be but to sleep and feed? It's number six.
I was wondering when you'd show up.
He's in the home stretch.
Very good and all that, but You've forgotten something.
What? A promise made to an old man.
No ellen and I talked about that this morning.
Not that one.
Oh shit! Jack: Examples gross as earth exhort me.
Witness this army of such mass and charge Led by a delicate and tender prince (breathing hard) Oliver: Good job, geoff.
And I'm sorry about ellen and me.
I suppose I always knew that you were better than me.
Could we talk about this later? Oliver: Sorry.
Kate: (singing) ô and will he not come again? à à and will he not come again? à à no, no, he is dead.
à à go to thy death-bed, ô à he never will come again.
à à he is gone à Jack: Whose was it? Gravedigger: A whoreson mad fellow's it was.
Whose do you think it was? Jack: Nay, I know not.
Gravedigger: A pestilence on him for a mad rogue! On my head once.
That same skull, sir, Was yorick's skull, the king's jester.
Oliver: Good-bye, geoffrey.
Thanks, oliver.
Jack: Let me see it.
(relieved sigh) Alas, poor yorick! I knew him, horatio, A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.
(shocked gasps) Jack: O, I die, horatio.
The potent poison quite over-crows my spirit.
I cannot live to hear the news from England, But I do prophesy the election lights on fortinbras.
He has my dying voice.
So tell him, With the occurrents, more and less, Which have solicited.
The rest Is silence.
(crying) Horatio: Good night sweet prince, And flights of angels Sing thee to thy rest! Lx 129.
Go.
And fuck me blue, we're done.
(enthusiastic applause) (cheers and applause) Richard: Bravo! Geoffrey: Great show.
Fantastic! Great show, good work.
Great show.
That's was it! That was beautiful, beautiful.
Holy shit, man.
Hey, they're not finished with you.
Get out there.
Come on, go! (excited cheers and applause) That was I don't know what to say.
That was incredible! You know, I saw a chorus line when I was 16 years old- The critics are gonna slaughter us.
What? How can they? Because jack is an american movie actor.
That's all they're gonna write about, right? They can't ignore what happened on this stage tonight.
What did happened, exactly? I I don't know! This is all new to me.
Well please, join us again.
We do eight shows a week, Matinees on wednesdays and saturdays.
(happy cheers and chatter) Great.
Very good.
Good, Oh, geoff.
Thanks.
It was wild.
Hey! Ah, I wish I could've given you a line, but Oh, I think if I had a line to say I would have shit myself.
Oh, maybe I should've given you a line.
Kate: Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
(shrieks) Is there anything better than this? Geoffrey: Better than this? Well, uh (shrieks) Geoffrey: Wonderful work.
The little shit.
She was better than me.
Who? Ellen: You know who.
Geoffrey I don't know what your plans are for next year, But please don't make me play the nurse.
You got a couple years left before you play the nurse.
Ellen: Well, one year anyway.
Geoffrey: I was thinking more along the lines of Cleopatra.
I would like that, very much.
Are you free tomorrow morning? Yeah.
It's a race day.
A what? Nothing.
I am, why? Geoffrey: Well, in case I forgot to mention it, We should meet at the place.
The spot? Mmm hmm.
11:00.
Wear something black.
Great fuckin' show, man! Good job.
Hey,hi.
Len.
It's show time.
Are you ready? I need a second.
I'm I need a second.
Holly: The board is waiting.
Shake it off, honey.
Destiny calls.
Don't forget the model.
(calling) holly.
Holly: Yeah, sugar? Richard: Holly You are a really terrible, terrible person.
(snaps lock shut) (slaps against window) Richard! (banging at door) Richard! Open the door! (pounding at door) Fuck! Ellen: Don't even think about pushing me in.
This is an armani.
Geoffrey: Don't worry.
That's not what I had in mind.
Ellen: What's that? Geoffrey: The rest of oliver, minus his head.
It's our final obligation.
Oh, right.
He always said he wanted to be sprinkled in the What did he call it? Ganges north.
Ganges north.
Right.
Shall we do this together? I mean, it's not a very dignified resting place, What with the swans.
I am the cygnet to this pale faint swan Who chants a doleful hymn to his own death And from the organ-pipe of frailty sings His soul and body to their lasting rest.
Goodbye, oliver.
Coffee? I'm dying for a coffee.