Smash s01e06 Episode Script
Chemistry
Previously, on "Smash".
All: Let's be bad.
- Am I late? - No, Karen was early.
I'm pretty good with a computer, if you need some help.
- What are the charges? - Loitering for drugs.
When you hear the things You humiliate me when you're not ignoring me! I have a pretty clear sense of what I bring to the party.
- I'm Tom.
- I'm Sam.
Well, I know what I bring to the party.
Some like it hot, and that ain't bad her smile and your fantasies play a duet that will make you forget where you [Voice cracks.]
You okay? Absolutely.
Do you want some coffee? What time is it? $7 million? That's not a lot for a musical these days.
Well, if you want to give me $15 million, Ralph, I won't say no.
[Laughs.]
Well, you'll need it to get to Broadway.
Well, actually, we're just looking at a workshop and an out-of-town tryout.
- And after that? - Ralph! You called me, remember? You called me up and asked me if you could come over and talk to me.
Now you're playing hard to get.
Why are you here if you're not interested? - When's the workshop? - A week from Sunday.
Okay.
I'm not saying I'm interested, but I am intrigued.
replace 21 with 19.
No, I have 12 replacing 21.
That was last week.
Don't confuse her.
When do they stop changing everything? Five seconds before the performance.
Oh.
All right, if we put the fox number here and then we put the Johnny Hyde scene here and then wait The the Yes, Natasha Lytess scene here, it will heighten the progression.
Oh, my God, this isn't a high-school science project, - it's a bloody musical! - No, it's a workshop! A first workshop! And people are coming to see it! Could we dial this down? Look, there is no discernible story, linear or otherwise, between pages 7 and 32.
That's not a gap.
That is a black hole.
And if you don't fix it this week, we're all going to get sucked into its tidal force, and all we'll be left with is "Marilyn the red dwarf.
" Okay, look, there's been a really crazy situation at home, okay? My husband has been out of town.
My son has gotten into some trouble, and I've had to be there for him.
That is great, Julia.
I am thrilled to hear your oh-so-sad story, but this workshop goes up in front of an audience in a week.
Tom here has written a beautiful melody, but check it out The lyrics are half finished.
Whole song - Half the lyrics! - Tom, it's okay.
No, it might be okay for you, but it's not okay for me.
He is not using me or my music as a club with which to bludgeon my writing partner! Got it? [Gasps.]
Oh.
It's okay.
It always gets a little tense with a new musical.
No, not that.
It's my credit card bill.
- It's bad? - $326.
38.
You're kidding.
- You're kidding, right? - Can I see that? I don't think I've ever seen one this low before.
Have you ever seen one this low? Oh, my God.
I would be singing and dancing if I had a credit card bill this low.
Both: You're singing and dancing anyway.
- Shut up! - Get out of my head.
Her smile and your fantasies play a duet that will make you forget Everything okay in here? - Terrific.
- They're ready to start.
Ellis, what can I do for you? Derek is mad because Julia didn't finish a song, and then Tom and Julia and Derek got into a huge fight over the script, and Tom stormed out of rehearsal.
I just thought you might like to know.
Yes, I might like to know that.
Uh, where are you going? To rehearsal.
[Piano playing Let me be your star.]
Her smile and your fantasies play a duet that will make you forget where you [Voice cracks.]
[Music stops.]
Sorry.
Sorry.
- I'm so sorry.
- You okay? Uh, can we just start it at the end of the bridge? [Piano playing Let me be your star.]
Forget what used to be [Clears throat.]
The past is on the cutting-room floor the future is here with me [Voice cracking.]
Choose me! [Voice cracks.]
[Music stops.]
[Orchestra tuning up.]
SMASH S01 Ep06 - Chemistry One, two, three, for, five, that's it.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! Yeah, well done, guys.
Let's call it a day.
Check over your scripts, please, get a good night's sleep, and no one get so much as a cold from now on.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Shoot.
Listen, I've been having some problems with the whole transition to the breakup scene.
Uh, we can talk about it tomorrow.
Oh, I don't want to take up rehearsal time.
Uh, could I call you tonight, or maybe even right now we could grab a coffee? Tomorrow would be best.
Okay.
Did you talk to her? According to the doctor, her throat is inflamed but not infected.
- There are no nodules or polyps.
- Did he give her a steroid? She has some prednisone, yes, but she's hypersensitive to drugs, so it's not necessarily her best first option.
So what are her other options? She's gonna try vocal rest for the night.
- Okay, what are our options? - Can we postpone? - Well, that'd be difficult.
- How difficult? Well, a lot of our investors already have it on their schedules.
If we postpone, it sends the wrong message.
Okay, what about our other Marilyn? Can she do it? Whoa, hang on! Yeah, I'd love to hang on, but I've just found out I've got to do an entire workshop about Marilyn Monroe with no Marilyn.
- For a day, maybe! - Oh, I'm sorry.
I wasn't aware I had an extra day.
Can Karen do it, Julia? Can she learn the role in a week? - I don't know.
- Stop it.
And by the way, don't you dare breathe a word about this to Ivy.
Stress plays a huge part in all of this.
You've already been leaning on her too hard.
If she finds out you want to replace her, it'll make it much worse.
A leading lady with vocal problems No one believes that even when it's true! Yep.
So what did he say? It's inflamed.
Strained more than anything.
It's stress.
He gave you prednisone, right? Well, that's good.
That stuff is a miracle worker.
Well, there are a lot of bad side effects.
Darling, you work in musical theater.
There are lots of terrible side effects Bankruptcy, alcoholism Insanity.
[Laughs.]
[Whispering.]
Don't make me laugh.
Look, everybody uses the stuff don't worry about it.
If it helps, it's worth it.
Look, I have to go work on tomorrow's schedule.
If you can't do it, we'll have to get the Cartwright girl to fill in, okay? I can't just waste the day.
[Door closes.]
[Sighs.]
Would you have to learn the dances? - I don't know yet.
- Can you ask? Not until they ask me.
They better do it fast.
You know what? I can do this.
Mom.
Mom! Oh! Sorry.
Aah! I'm so not the cook around here.
No kidding.
Okay.
Most of them are are okay.
Ow! Some of them ouch! There you go.
They're saved.
I'm saving them.
- Mom, I don't want pancakes.
- You love pancakes.
You burnt them.
Will, can you please put your phone away? Why, so I can eat your bad pancakes? Look, I know that I'm not as good a cook as dad.
Yeah, you're not, which would be why I asked for cereal.
You're cooking.
[Door closes.]
It smells good.
- Dad? - Frank? I knew there was a reason I took the red-eye.
Oh, I'm so glad you're home.
Me too.
[Both chuckle.]
God, I missed you.
Look at you Handsome, even after flying all night.
Wow.
I should go away more often.
No, don't.
Yeah, don't.
Hey, there you are.
Hey.
- Did you take it? - First dose six pills.
- And? - I'm I'm having cold sweats.
I've had a headache since, like, 4:00 in the morning, and I-I just feel so panicky.
- I'm not in good shape.
- Yeah, what about your voice? Look, Ivy I want to protect you in this situation, but, you know, if you take the day, I'm gonna have to get the Cartwright girl to fill in You know that.
Oh, I'm fine.
Okay.
Good.
Ladies and gentlemen Marilyn is back.
[Cheers and applause.]
- She got better that fast? - She's probably on prednisone.
That drug is a miracle, if you don't mind the mood swings, insomnia, hair growth, hallucination, and weight gain.
[Chuckles.]
Listen, I just got a last-minute recording gig, but I'd booked a Bar Mitzvah for tonight.
Can you sub for me? A Bar Mitzvah? It's actually Ivy's gig.
She gave it to me two weeks ago because she was trying to save her voice.
Ivy's gig of course.
- It pays $500.
- Oh.
All right, everyone, Let's be bad.
Just ask Jerry.
No! No! I'm not gonna ask him to pay the maintenance on an apartment which is already in his name.
He owns the place.
He can pay the maintenance without my having to beg him.
Listen, I'll have to call you back.
[Sighs.]
[Knock at door.]
Excuse me.
Your temp is Actually, I don't know where your temp is.
What is it, Ellis? I just came by to let you know that rehearsals are going great.
Ivy took the prednisone.
- She sounds awesome.
- Good.
Do you need anything else? Do I need anything else? Yeah.
Do you need anything else? Jules.
Jules! Don't walk away.
Break is almost over.
We're about to start.
If you don't talk to me, I'll make a scene, and everyone will know.
That got your attention.
What do you want, Michael? I want to see you.
I'm here right now.
You can see me right now.
- Alone.
- That's not possible.
- I'm not kidding.
- Neither am I.
I can't sleep, Jules.
- We're back.
- Okay, places.
Top of the mambo.
[Playing mambo.]
Two bedrooms, living room, dining room, brand-new kitchen And a view of the city.
It's stunning.
- We are the first ones in.
- How'd you swing that? I have access to Pam Corker's computer.
So, technically, this isn't available yet.
If you wanted to rent it under the table, you wouldn't have to pay broker's fees.
You boys are very clever.
[Cell phone rings.]
Donny.
Yes, the workshop is next Sunday.
You don't want to miss it.
Nantucket? At this time of year? How dreary.
Well, Nathan Lane is coming and the Nederlanders.
Okay, thanks.
That, uh, didn't sound too good.
Lemons into lemonade, Ellis.
So how much? $10,000.
It's actually a bargain for this place.
I'm aware, but, uh, maybe Pam might have something for a bit less? In Manhattan? Yes, on the island of Manhattan.
Slit or Mini? Can it be Christmas, and I get both? It's a Bar Mitzvah.
Ivy's Bar Mitzvah, apparently.
Have you actually ever been to a Bar Mitzvah? - Have you? - I'm not hired to sing one.
Look, I used to sing at weddings all the time when I was home.
The song list is pretty much the same job to job.
- Where is this gig? - Northport.
What, way out on Long Island? Maybe I'm not Marilyn, but I do have a job it's a Bar Mitzvah do you even know how to get to Northport? Yeah, Long Island railroad, then a cab.
I prefer the Mini.
Mm.
Well, Mini it is.
[Slow music playing.]
Oh, I can't concentrate.
I kissed Michael.
What? He came over the other night when Frank was out of town.
He was drunk.
I tried to get rid of him.
When we went outside to wait for the car service, he kissed me.
And you kissed him back? Big kiss or little kiss? - Pretty big.
- Julia.
- He sang to me.
- What did he sing? Donny Hathaway's A song for you.
Mm.
I bet he sounded amazing on that.
I probably would have kissed him too.
Oh, you so would have.
- But I'm not married.
- Right.
I love you.
You know how much I love you.
I do.
You have to figure this out fast.
You have to think about Frank And Leo.
Too much talk about me.
Let's talk about you, okay? Tell me about the new guy.
Uh, good.
I like him.
"Good.
I like him.
" Simple, positive.
He's having some people over tonight.
Meeting his friends.
Simple, positive, and fast.
Right? Now we're talking.
[Laughter.]
Who needs a $20 Martini from the Carlyle when you can get a better one down here for $7? What's the name of this place anyway? The Bushwhack.
[Laughter.]
- That's a terrible name! - I know! You know, I kind of love this place Old jukebox Darts! Mmm.
I didn't even know people played darts anymore.
What's this? Oh, man, that's the best.
- Yeah.
- Big buck hunter.
How do you play? [Coins rattling.]
So I just shoot me some bucks? [Laughs.]
Step aside, boys! [Gunfire and country music.]
[Who you are plays.]
I stare at my reflection in the mirror why am I doing this to myself? losing my mind on a tiny error I nearly left the real me on the shelf no, no, no, no, no don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing it's okay not to be okay sometimes it's hard to follow your heart tears don't mean you're losing everybody's bruising there's nothing wrong with who you are yes, nos, egos fake shows like whoa just go and leave me alone real talk, real life, good love, good night with a smile that's my home [sighs.]
It's fine.
[Giggles.]
It's going to be fine.
You sure? Because if I were you, I wouldn't be so sure of anything.
What the hell was that? Hi.
I'm sorry.
There was no cabs.
I had to walk from the station in heels.
- Are you Ivy Lynn? - Sure.
- You better get up there.
- Okay.
Crap.
Crap.
Hello.
Um Welcome to Ethan's Bar Mitzvah! [Applause.]
[Sighs.]
We were in P-town last summer, just window shopping for fun.
A house on the beach Small, a cottage - $2 million.
- That's actually cheap.
But where are you gonna put your money now, you know? What can you invest in? Broadway musicals.
[Laughter.]
So how did you meet John? Our mothers set us up.
- Alicia set you up.
- Oh, stop.
He just came out to her last year.
[Chuckles.]
Last year? You guys having a good time, huh? Terrific.
[Cell phone chimes.]
Is everything okay? I don't know.
Excuse me.
What did you see? I don't know, but it was really weird.
Marilyn was in the mirror, and it was Karen.
Sounds like anxiety and insomnia to me.
- Sam.
- Yeah, she called me too.
I came right over.
Let's get you to bed, honey.
Come on.
Really, it just freaked me out.
And the next thing could be oh, God.
Oh, God, you bloat up, and you grow hair.
I'm not kidding Like a wolfman.
- A-woo! - Stop! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- D - A-woo! I am this is real! Ivy, baby, you need to calm down.
- It's nothing.
- It's not nothing.
Look, she's just upset, all right? One of the side effects can be, like, mood changes.
I know.
I've taken this drug before.
Lie down.
Come on.
There it is.
- What did he say? - It's a text that says, "might need you tomorrow.
Please be discreet.
" - And Tom sent this? - Yes.
- Did you call him? - It says "be discreet.
" If Ivy finds out, it could make her worse.
[Whistles.]
What's-your-name Hava nagila come on! Oh, babe, I got to go.
Okay.
[Band playing Hava nagila.]
Hava nagila, hava nagila hava nagila, hava [Vocalizing.]
Whoo! High! Ugh.
This scene's a mess.
[Sighs.]
What are these? These are wild.
Periodic table flash cards.
There is such a thing? [Chuckles.]
Wow, look at this one.
Bismuth That's actually my favorite.
I love that you have a favorite element.
[Telephone rings.]
Hello? Hey, Michael.
How are you? We're good.
Leo's great.
Congratulations.
When Julia told me that you were DiMaggio, I thought, "perfect.
" Well, come over for a beer sometime.
What can I do for you? What are you doing calling me at home? Because you won't talk to me otherwise.
You cannot do this.
I have to see you alone.
[Sighs.]
This is no joke, Jules.
I won't.
I'm going to the rehearsal space at 10:00.
It'll be locked.
Trust me, I'll get us in.
Artie wants a story from daddy.
I'm talking to my sister.
Sorry, Suse.
I got to go.
You want me to call Derek? No.
No, no.
[Chuckles.]
You know what? You guys are the best.
Hey, where's your TV, Ive? Oh, it's over there under that pile of clothes.
Oh, you want to watch a movie? What do you have? Are we sick of Marilyn? Actually, there's a rangers game on.
Oh, yeah? What's a ranger? Okay, I'm gonna go make you some tea.
Where did you find him? Like three feet away.
I'm sorry, but you really are the straightest chorus boy I ever met.
- You think I'm straight? - You're not straight? I didn't say that.
I interrupted your date.
Was it fun? It was a cocktail party with his friends.
Ooh, it sounds hideous.
[Laughs.]
It was, actually.
His furniture is upscale minimalist.
- Blech.
- I know.
[Giggles.]
[Band playing jazzy music.]
[Scattered applause.]
All right, fellas, last song.
Thank God.
You been checking that thing all night.
You got boyfriend problems? Just making sure it still works.
Okay, you clowns, um, I get one.
Let's do Shake it out.
It's on the list, so just follow me.
[Florence and the Machine's Shake it out.]
Regrets collect like old friends here to relive your darkest moments I can see no way, I can see no way and all of the ghouls come out to play and every demon wants his pound of flesh but I like to keep some things to myself I like to keep my issues strong It's always darkest before the dawn shake it out, shake it out shake it out, shake it out oh, whoa shake it out, shake it out shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa and it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off oh, whoa I am done with my graceless heart so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart 'cause I like to keep my issues strong 'cause it's always darkest before the dawn shake it out, shake it out shake it out, shake it out oh, whoa shake it out, shake it out shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa and it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off oh, whoa and I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't so here's to drinks in the dark at the end of the road and I'm ready to suffer, and I'm ready to hope so it's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat 'cause looking for heaven for the devil in me looking for heaven for the devil in me but what the hell? I'm gonna let it happen to me yeah shake it out, shake it out shake it out, shake it out oh, whoa shake it out, shake it out shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa and it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off oh, whoa [vocalizing.]
ooh, yeah shake it off oh, oh [cheers and applause.]
Good job, guys.
Thank you.
[Sighs deeply.]
You okay? Yeah, my shoulders hurt.
It's just stress.
I'm gonna go for a walk.
Sometimes that [Clears throat.]
Helps me, uh, clear my head.
So I'm just gonna, um Go for a walk and figure it out.
Don't stay out too late.
Chicken again, boys.
What a surprise.
- [Laughs.]
- Hey, guys.
You're not Ivy, are you? Um, no.
I'm Karen Cartwright.
You ever been to a Bar Mitzvah before, Karen? No, I'm really sorry.
A friend of mine wants you to call him tomorrow.
Thanks, guys.
[Phone vibrates.]
You got the security guard to unlock the door.
I told you I would.
Look You cannot call me at home.
You cannot text me at home.
You cannot ever again show up at my home.
I know.
I should have never let them cast you.
Come on, I'm pretty good in this.
You shouldn't have taken the part.
I'm an actor.
Don't offer me the part if you don't want me to take it.
It was five years ago.
I thought we could handle it.
Yeah, so did I.
We were both wrong.
Okay, um, you are married with a child.
I have Leo and Frank, and - And here we are.
- And we can't Jules, why are you here if you don't want to be here? To get through to you.
- You got through.
- Okay, no.
I can't think if you If you touch me.
I can't think even if we don't.
How about we Just look? I so want to see you.
I'll only touch your shirt Like this.
You want me to? You're more beautiful.
Me? You - Michael.
- No one has to know.
You want me to stop? No.
Think your friend will be okay? - Seems like it.
- Good.
Well, my friends liked you a lot.
[Chuckles.]
I was only there three minutes.
Mm, they found that very reassuring.
They thought I was moving much too fast, introducing everyone to each other.
[Chuckles.]
What? Look, I have to ask this.
Did you just come out to your mother last year? Aaron told you that.
- What a jerk.
- No.
No, he's a total jerk.
I did come out to my mother last year.
I also came out to her when I was 8 and when I was 12 and when I was 23 and last year.
And don't get me wrong.
You'll love my mother.
She's really nice, just A little hard of hearing.
Got it.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- How's the voice today? - "The voice"? The voice is fine.
Terrific.
Do you want to know how I am? - Sure.
- I'm fine.
Tom and Sam came by and took care of me.
They were worried about me, because they love me.
And now you're feeling better, yes? Yes, I am.
Wonderful.
Karen Sorry about the confusing texts.
Oh, I'm just glad you thought of me.
- Thanks.
- Great.
Oh, and if anything else happens, I'm ready.
Karen So how'd it go? Maybe I'm not cut out for Bar Mitzvahs.
Did you at least get a good tip? Uh Oh, well.
Oh, well.
Holy cow! - Holy moly! - What? I gave you that gig, and Bobby Raskin was there? Who? Bobby Raskin was at the Bar Mitzvah you gave me.
- And you gave it to her? - Who's Bobby Raskin? Bobby Raskin? Ugh! You're from Iowa.
He's big.
He's like Tommy Mottola.
And don't say, "who's Tommy Mottola?" [Loud thud.]
You okay? That chick really gets on my nerves.
Why didn't I just have her fired the first day? Marilyn would have! What was that for? 'Cause you're awesome.
Uh, hi.
Hello.
Is this Mr.
Raskin's office? I'm Karen Cartwright.
He asked that I call him? - Hi.
- Hi.
How are you? Uh Good.
You? Great.
I think we're about to start.
- And we're in.
- All right, everyone Our esteemed lyricist has finally finished the verses for History is made at night.
Since we're six days away from an invited audience, I'd like to work quickly.
So let's try it with the original staging and see if it fits the new words.
Places for the second verse, please.
Uh, and if you guys could try it without the pages, that would be super.
- Uh - Just do it.
No, no, no.
I got it.
- Great.
- All right, then.
[Piano playing History is made at night.]
[Ensemble doo-wop vocalizing.]
I see the questions burning in your eyes or is it just reflections mm of the stars high above you? Oh, I'm just your student, and I hope you won't be shy please make corrections yeah, on the sweetest way to love you Come and sit close Whisper close tell me just when to say when Then we'll sleep through the day Then whenever you say that's when school begins again 'cause history is made at night so close the books, turn off the light and listen let my heart be the teacher no one here to disapprove as we review the lessons you've been missin' let the moon be our only light 'cause history is made at night [Ensemble vocalizing.]
Come here oh, oh, yeah someday they'll write lots of books about our fame and glory but if all their reports are just movies and sports Both: They'll be missin' the whole story All: Missin' the whole story both: 'cause history is made at night so close the books, turn off the light and listen [music stops, laughter.]
Oh, for crying out loud! Is it too much to ask for a moment of professionalism? Sorry.
[Chuckles mockingly.]
"Sorry" doesn't help me.
I need something that vaguely resembles sex.
Could we try that today with our Marilyn, please? I can do sex.
Then I'd like to see it.
And by the way, I'd love it if you were singing at the same time.
Let's take it from the bridge, please.
Hey, uh, while we're stopped, I have a thought.
Maybe you could give me notes without publicly humiliating me at the same time.
Oh, great.
Oh, and maybe maybe you could remember that artists are not football players who can take endless abuse and still do their jobs! Okay.
Miss Monroe is having a moment.
Oh! Well, maybe a different miss Monroe could do it better.
Miss Cartwright? Maybe you could take a crack at it.
- Let's take a ten.
- Um, no, seriously, Derek We should have given them more time with the lyrics.
I don't need more time with the lyrics! You know what I need? I need to stop sleeping with men who are complete narcissistic pricks! Oh, and you're not that good-looking! And you're not that good in bed either! It's just a side effect from the steroids.
[Crying.]
[Exhales sharply.]
You all right? Yeah, I will be.
[Both laughing.]
Well, that was quite a bit of unscripted drama today.
I probably shouldn't say anything, but I rather enjoyed it.
Ralph! There you are! You found the Bushwhack! This is Ellis and Zach.
Ralph Masius, my favorite Broadway producer.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Hello.
Could we, uh, have four of your delicious Martinis, please? Done.
Best drink in town, I swear.
- I'm not fancy.
- I am.
The Nederlanders are coming.
David stone, Jeffrey finn The list is incredibly impressive.
- Show him the list, Ellis.
- No need.
- Put me on it.
- Put him on the list, Ellis.
Is that the reason why we're celebrating? Well, that and a couple of other things.
I just landed a beautiful, luxury, two-bedroom apartment Top floor at a basement price.
- Awesome! - What neighborhood? The Lower East Side, boys.
I, um, have a nephew who has a nice building.
[Laughs.]
Cheers, everybody! - Here's to change! - I'm down with that.
- Mmm! - Not bad.
How's your big buck hunter,Ralph? Buck what-er? [Laughter.]
Come on, follow me.
I'm taking you all on.
Oh, we'd like four more Martinis, please.
Five One for you.
[Coins rattling.]
Watch out, now.
It's my turn.
All: Let's be bad.
- Am I late? - No, Karen was early.
I'm pretty good with a computer, if you need some help.
- What are the charges? - Loitering for drugs.
When you hear the things You humiliate me when you're not ignoring me! I have a pretty clear sense of what I bring to the party.
- I'm Tom.
- I'm Sam.
Well, I know what I bring to the party.
Some like it hot, and that ain't bad her smile and your fantasies play a duet that will make you forget where you [Voice cracks.]
You okay? Absolutely.
Do you want some coffee? What time is it? $7 million? That's not a lot for a musical these days.
Well, if you want to give me $15 million, Ralph, I won't say no.
[Laughs.]
Well, you'll need it to get to Broadway.
Well, actually, we're just looking at a workshop and an out-of-town tryout.
- And after that? - Ralph! You called me, remember? You called me up and asked me if you could come over and talk to me.
Now you're playing hard to get.
Why are you here if you're not interested? - When's the workshop? - A week from Sunday.
Okay.
I'm not saying I'm interested, but I am intrigued.
replace 21 with 19.
No, I have 12 replacing 21.
That was last week.
Don't confuse her.
When do they stop changing everything? Five seconds before the performance.
Oh.
All right, if we put the fox number here and then we put the Johnny Hyde scene here and then wait The the Yes, Natasha Lytess scene here, it will heighten the progression.
Oh, my God, this isn't a high-school science project, - it's a bloody musical! - No, it's a workshop! A first workshop! And people are coming to see it! Could we dial this down? Look, there is no discernible story, linear or otherwise, between pages 7 and 32.
That's not a gap.
That is a black hole.
And if you don't fix it this week, we're all going to get sucked into its tidal force, and all we'll be left with is "Marilyn the red dwarf.
" Okay, look, there's been a really crazy situation at home, okay? My husband has been out of town.
My son has gotten into some trouble, and I've had to be there for him.
That is great, Julia.
I am thrilled to hear your oh-so-sad story, but this workshop goes up in front of an audience in a week.
Tom here has written a beautiful melody, but check it out The lyrics are half finished.
Whole song - Half the lyrics! - Tom, it's okay.
No, it might be okay for you, but it's not okay for me.
He is not using me or my music as a club with which to bludgeon my writing partner! Got it? [Gasps.]
Oh.
It's okay.
It always gets a little tense with a new musical.
No, not that.
It's my credit card bill.
- It's bad? - $326.
38.
You're kidding.
- You're kidding, right? - Can I see that? I don't think I've ever seen one this low before.
Have you ever seen one this low? Oh, my God.
I would be singing and dancing if I had a credit card bill this low.
Both: You're singing and dancing anyway.
- Shut up! - Get out of my head.
Her smile and your fantasies play a duet that will make you forget Everything okay in here? - Terrific.
- They're ready to start.
Ellis, what can I do for you? Derek is mad because Julia didn't finish a song, and then Tom and Julia and Derek got into a huge fight over the script, and Tom stormed out of rehearsal.
I just thought you might like to know.
Yes, I might like to know that.
Uh, where are you going? To rehearsal.
[Piano playing Let me be your star.]
Her smile and your fantasies play a duet that will make you forget where you [Voice cracks.]
[Music stops.]
Sorry.
Sorry.
- I'm so sorry.
- You okay? Uh, can we just start it at the end of the bridge? [Piano playing Let me be your star.]
Forget what used to be [Clears throat.]
The past is on the cutting-room floor the future is here with me [Voice cracking.]
Choose me! [Voice cracks.]
[Music stops.]
[Orchestra tuning up.]
SMASH S01 Ep06 - Chemistry One, two, three, for, five, that's it.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! Yeah, well done, guys.
Let's call it a day.
Check over your scripts, please, get a good night's sleep, and no one get so much as a cold from now on.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Shoot.
Listen, I've been having some problems with the whole transition to the breakup scene.
Uh, we can talk about it tomorrow.
Oh, I don't want to take up rehearsal time.
Uh, could I call you tonight, or maybe even right now we could grab a coffee? Tomorrow would be best.
Okay.
Did you talk to her? According to the doctor, her throat is inflamed but not infected.
- There are no nodules or polyps.
- Did he give her a steroid? She has some prednisone, yes, but she's hypersensitive to drugs, so it's not necessarily her best first option.
So what are her other options? She's gonna try vocal rest for the night.
- Okay, what are our options? - Can we postpone? - Well, that'd be difficult.
- How difficult? Well, a lot of our investors already have it on their schedules.
If we postpone, it sends the wrong message.
Okay, what about our other Marilyn? Can she do it? Whoa, hang on! Yeah, I'd love to hang on, but I've just found out I've got to do an entire workshop about Marilyn Monroe with no Marilyn.
- For a day, maybe! - Oh, I'm sorry.
I wasn't aware I had an extra day.
Can Karen do it, Julia? Can she learn the role in a week? - I don't know.
- Stop it.
And by the way, don't you dare breathe a word about this to Ivy.
Stress plays a huge part in all of this.
You've already been leaning on her too hard.
If she finds out you want to replace her, it'll make it much worse.
A leading lady with vocal problems No one believes that even when it's true! Yep.
So what did he say? It's inflamed.
Strained more than anything.
It's stress.
He gave you prednisone, right? Well, that's good.
That stuff is a miracle worker.
Well, there are a lot of bad side effects.
Darling, you work in musical theater.
There are lots of terrible side effects Bankruptcy, alcoholism Insanity.
[Laughs.]
[Whispering.]
Don't make me laugh.
Look, everybody uses the stuff don't worry about it.
If it helps, it's worth it.
Look, I have to go work on tomorrow's schedule.
If you can't do it, we'll have to get the Cartwright girl to fill in, okay? I can't just waste the day.
[Door closes.]
[Sighs.]
Would you have to learn the dances? - I don't know yet.
- Can you ask? Not until they ask me.
They better do it fast.
You know what? I can do this.
Mom.
Mom! Oh! Sorry.
Aah! I'm so not the cook around here.
No kidding.
Okay.
Most of them are are okay.
Ow! Some of them ouch! There you go.
They're saved.
I'm saving them.
- Mom, I don't want pancakes.
- You love pancakes.
You burnt them.
Will, can you please put your phone away? Why, so I can eat your bad pancakes? Look, I know that I'm not as good a cook as dad.
Yeah, you're not, which would be why I asked for cereal.
You're cooking.
[Door closes.]
It smells good.
- Dad? - Frank? I knew there was a reason I took the red-eye.
Oh, I'm so glad you're home.
Me too.
[Both chuckle.]
God, I missed you.
Look at you Handsome, even after flying all night.
Wow.
I should go away more often.
No, don't.
Yeah, don't.
Hey, there you are.
Hey.
- Did you take it? - First dose six pills.
- And? - I'm I'm having cold sweats.
I've had a headache since, like, 4:00 in the morning, and I-I just feel so panicky.
- I'm not in good shape.
- Yeah, what about your voice? Look, Ivy I want to protect you in this situation, but, you know, if you take the day, I'm gonna have to get the Cartwright girl to fill in You know that.
Oh, I'm fine.
Okay.
Good.
Ladies and gentlemen Marilyn is back.
[Cheers and applause.]
- She got better that fast? - She's probably on prednisone.
That drug is a miracle, if you don't mind the mood swings, insomnia, hair growth, hallucination, and weight gain.
[Chuckles.]
Listen, I just got a last-minute recording gig, but I'd booked a Bar Mitzvah for tonight.
Can you sub for me? A Bar Mitzvah? It's actually Ivy's gig.
She gave it to me two weeks ago because she was trying to save her voice.
Ivy's gig of course.
- It pays $500.
- Oh.
All right, everyone, Let's be bad.
Just ask Jerry.
No! No! I'm not gonna ask him to pay the maintenance on an apartment which is already in his name.
He owns the place.
He can pay the maintenance without my having to beg him.
Listen, I'll have to call you back.
[Sighs.]
[Knock at door.]
Excuse me.
Your temp is Actually, I don't know where your temp is.
What is it, Ellis? I just came by to let you know that rehearsals are going great.
Ivy took the prednisone.
- She sounds awesome.
- Good.
Do you need anything else? Do I need anything else? Yeah.
Do you need anything else? Jules.
Jules! Don't walk away.
Break is almost over.
We're about to start.
If you don't talk to me, I'll make a scene, and everyone will know.
That got your attention.
What do you want, Michael? I want to see you.
I'm here right now.
You can see me right now.
- Alone.
- That's not possible.
- I'm not kidding.
- Neither am I.
I can't sleep, Jules.
- We're back.
- Okay, places.
Top of the mambo.
[Playing mambo.]
Two bedrooms, living room, dining room, brand-new kitchen And a view of the city.
It's stunning.
- We are the first ones in.
- How'd you swing that? I have access to Pam Corker's computer.
So, technically, this isn't available yet.
If you wanted to rent it under the table, you wouldn't have to pay broker's fees.
You boys are very clever.
[Cell phone rings.]
Donny.
Yes, the workshop is next Sunday.
You don't want to miss it.
Nantucket? At this time of year? How dreary.
Well, Nathan Lane is coming and the Nederlanders.
Okay, thanks.
That, uh, didn't sound too good.
Lemons into lemonade, Ellis.
So how much? $10,000.
It's actually a bargain for this place.
I'm aware, but, uh, maybe Pam might have something for a bit less? In Manhattan? Yes, on the island of Manhattan.
Slit or Mini? Can it be Christmas, and I get both? It's a Bar Mitzvah.
Ivy's Bar Mitzvah, apparently.
Have you actually ever been to a Bar Mitzvah? - Have you? - I'm not hired to sing one.
Look, I used to sing at weddings all the time when I was home.
The song list is pretty much the same job to job.
- Where is this gig? - Northport.
What, way out on Long Island? Maybe I'm not Marilyn, but I do have a job it's a Bar Mitzvah do you even know how to get to Northport? Yeah, Long Island railroad, then a cab.
I prefer the Mini.
Mm.
Well, Mini it is.
[Slow music playing.]
Oh, I can't concentrate.
I kissed Michael.
What? He came over the other night when Frank was out of town.
He was drunk.
I tried to get rid of him.
When we went outside to wait for the car service, he kissed me.
And you kissed him back? Big kiss or little kiss? - Pretty big.
- Julia.
- He sang to me.
- What did he sing? Donny Hathaway's A song for you.
Mm.
I bet he sounded amazing on that.
I probably would have kissed him too.
Oh, you so would have.
- But I'm not married.
- Right.
I love you.
You know how much I love you.
I do.
You have to figure this out fast.
You have to think about Frank And Leo.
Too much talk about me.
Let's talk about you, okay? Tell me about the new guy.
Uh, good.
I like him.
"Good.
I like him.
" Simple, positive.
He's having some people over tonight.
Meeting his friends.
Simple, positive, and fast.
Right? Now we're talking.
[Laughter.]
Who needs a $20 Martini from the Carlyle when you can get a better one down here for $7? What's the name of this place anyway? The Bushwhack.
[Laughter.]
- That's a terrible name! - I know! You know, I kind of love this place Old jukebox Darts! Mmm.
I didn't even know people played darts anymore.
What's this? Oh, man, that's the best.
- Yeah.
- Big buck hunter.
How do you play? [Coins rattling.]
So I just shoot me some bucks? [Laughs.]
Step aside, boys! [Gunfire and country music.]
[Who you are plays.]
I stare at my reflection in the mirror why am I doing this to myself? losing my mind on a tiny error I nearly left the real me on the shelf no, no, no, no, no don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing it's okay not to be okay sometimes it's hard to follow your heart tears don't mean you're losing everybody's bruising there's nothing wrong with who you are yes, nos, egos fake shows like whoa just go and leave me alone real talk, real life, good love, good night with a smile that's my home [sighs.]
It's fine.
[Giggles.]
It's going to be fine.
You sure? Because if I were you, I wouldn't be so sure of anything.
What the hell was that? Hi.
I'm sorry.
There was no cabs.
I had to walk from the station in heels.
- Are you Ivy Lynn? - Sure.
- You better get up there.
- Okay.
Crap.
Crap.
Hello.
Um Welcome to Ethan's Bar Mitzvah! [Applause.]
[Sighs.]
We were in P-town last summer, just window shopping for fun.
A house on the beach Small, a cottage - $2 million.
- That's actually cheap.
But where are you gonna put your money now, you know? What can you invest in? Broadway musicals.
[Laughter.]
So how did you meet John? Our mothers set us up.
- Alicia set you up.
- Oh, stop.
He just came out to her last year.
[Chuckles.]
Last year? You guys having a good time, huh? Terrific.
[Cell phone chimes.]
Is everything okay? I don't know.
Excuse me.
What did you see? I don't know, but it was really weird.
Marilyn was in the mirror, and it was Karen.
Sounds like anxiety and insomnia to me.
- Sam.
- Yeah, she called me too.
I came right over.
Let's get you to bed, honey.
Come on.
Really, it just freaked me out.
And the next thing could be oh, God.
Oh, God, you bloat up, and you grow hair.
I'm not kidding Like a wolfman.
- A-woo! - Stop! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- D - A-woo! I am this is real! Ivy, baby, you need to calm down.
- It's nothing.
- It's not nothing.
Look, she's just upset, all right? One of the side effects can be, like, mood changes.
I know.
I've taken this drug before.
Lie down.
Come on.
There it is.
- What did he say? - It's a text that says, "might need you tomorrow.
Please be discreet.
" - And Tom sent this? - Yes.
- Did you call him? - It says "be discreet.
" If Ivy finds out, it could make her worse.
[Whistles.]
What's-your-name Hava nagila come on! Oh, babe, I got to go.
Okay.
[Band playing Hava nagila.]
Hava nagila, hava nagila hava nagila, hava [Vocalizing.]
Whoo! High! Ugh.
This scene's a mess.
[Sighs.]
What are these? These are wild.
Periodic table flash cards.
There is such a thing? [Chuckles.]
Wow, look at this one.
Bismuth That's actually my favorite.
I love that you have a favorite element.
[Telephone rings.]
Hello? Hey, Michael.
How are you? We're good.
Leo's great.
Congratulations.
When Julia told me that you were DiMaggio, I thought, "perfect.
" Well, come over for a beer sometime.
What can I do for you? What are you doing calling me at home? Because you won't talk to me otherwise.
You cannot do this.
I have to see you alone.
[Sighs.]
This is no joke, Jules.
I won't.
I'm going to the rehearsal space at 10:00.
It'll be locked.
Trust me, I'll get us in.
Artie wants a story from daddy.
I'm talking to my sister.
Sorry, Suse.
I got to go.
You want me to call Derek? No.
No, no.
[Chuckles.]
You know what? You guys are the best.
Hey, where's your TV, Ive? Oh, it's over there under that pile of clothes.
Oh, you want to watch a movie? What do you have? Are we sick of Marilyn? Actually, there's a rangers game on.
Oh, yeah? What's a ranger? Okay, I'm gonna go make you some tea.
Where did you find him? Like three feet away.
I'm sorry, but you really are the straightest chorus boy I ever met.
- You think I'm straight? - You're not straight? I didn't say that.
I interrupted your date.
Was it fun? It was a cocktail party with his friends.
Ooh, it sounds hideous.
[Laughs.]
It was, actually.
His furniture is upscale minimalist.
- Blech.
- I know.
[Giggles.]
[Band playing jazzy music.]
[Scattered applause.]
All right, fellas, last song.
Thank God.
You been checking that thing all night.
You got boyfriend problems? Just making sure it still works.
Okay, you clowns, um, I get one.
Let's do Shake it out.
It's on the list, so just follow me.
[Florence and the Machine's Shake it out.]
Regrets collect like old friends here to relive your darkest moments I can see no way, I can see no way and all of the ghouls come out to play and every demon wants his pound of flesh but I like to keep some things to myself I like to keep my issues strong It's always darkest before the dawn shake it out, shake it out shake it out, shake it out oh, whoa shake it out, shake it out shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa and it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off oh, whoa I am done with my graceless heart so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart 'cause I like to keep my issues strong 'cause it's always darkest before the dawn shake it out, shake it out shake it out, shake it out oh, whoa shake it out, shake it out shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa and it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off oh, whoa and I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't so here's to drinks in the dark at the end of the road and I'm ready to suffer, and I'm ready to hope so it's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat 'cause looking for heaven for the devil in me looking for heaven for the devil in me but what the hell? I'm gonna let it happen to me yeah shake it out, shake it out shake it out, shake it out oh, whoa shake it out, shake it out shake it out, shake it out, oh, whoa and it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off oh, whoa [vocalizing.]
ooh, yeah shake it off oh, oh [cheers and applause.]
Good job, guys.
Thank you.
[Sighs deeply.]
You okay? Yeah, my shoulders hurt.
It's just stress.
I'm gonna go for a walk.
Sometimes that [Clears throat.]
Helps me, uh, clear my head.
So I'm just gonna, um Go for a walk and figure it out.
Don't stay out too late.
Chicken again, boys.
What a surprise.
- [Laughs.]
- Hey, guys.
You're not Ivy, are you? Um, no.
I'm Karen Cartwright.
You ever been to a Bar Mitzvah before, Karen? No, I'm really sorry.
A friend of mine wants you to call him tomorrow.
Thanks, guys.
[Phone vibrates.]
You got the security guard to unlock the door.
I told you I would.
Look You cannot call me at home.
You cannot text me at home.
You cannot ever again show up at my home.
I know.
I should have never let them cast you.
Come on, I'm pretty good in this.
You shouldn't have taken the part.
I'm an actor.
Don't offer me the part if you don't want me to take it.
It was five years ago.
I thought we could handle it.
Yeah, so did I.
We were both wrong.
Okay, um, you are married with a child.
I have Leo and Frank, and - And here we are.
- And we can't Jules, why are you here if you don't want to be here? To get through to you.
- You got through.
- Okay, no.
I can't think if you If you touch me.
I can't think even if we don't.
How about we Just look? I so want to see you.
I'll only touch your shirt Like this.
You want me to? You're more beautiful.
Me? You - Michael.
- No one has to know.
You want me to stop? No.
Think your friend will be okay? - Seems like it.
- Good.
Well, my friends liked you a lot.
[Chuckles.]
I was only there three minutes.
Mm, they found that very reassuring.
They thought I was moving much too fast, introducing everyone to each other.
[Chuckles.]
What? Look, I have to ask this.
Did you just come out to your mother last year? Aaron told you that.
- What a jerk.
- No.
No, he's a total jerk.
I did come out to my mother last year.
I also came out to her when I was 8 and when I was 12 and when I was 23 and last year.
And don't get me wrong.
You'll love my mother.
She's really nice, just A little hard of hearing.
Got it.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- How's the voice today? - "The voice"? The voice is fine.
Terrific.
Do you want to know how I am? - Sure.
- I'm fine.
Tom and Sam came by and took care of me.
They were worried about me, because they love me.
And now you're feeling better, yes? Yes, I am.
Wonderful.
Karen Sorry about the confusing texts.
Oh, I'm just glad you thought of me.
- Thanks.
- Great.
Oh, and if anything else happens, I'm ready.
Karen So how'd it go? Maybe I'm not cut out for Bar Mitzvahs.
Did you at least get a good tip? Uh Oh, well.
Oh, well.
Holy cow! - Holy moly! - What? I gave you that gig, and Bobby Raskin was there? Who? Bobby Raskin was at the Bar Mitzvah you gave me.
- And you gave it to her? - Who's Bobby Raskin? Bobby Raskin? Ugh! You're from Iowa.
He's big.
He's like Tommy Mottola.
And don't say, "who's Tommy Mottola?" [Loud thud.]
You okay? That chick really gets on my nerves.
Why didn't I just have her fired the first day? Marilyn would have! What was that for? 'Cause you're awesome.
Uh, hi.
Hello.
Is this Mr.
Raskin's office? I'm Karen Cartwright.
He asked that I call him? - Hi.
- Hi.
How are you? Uh Good.
You? Great.
I think we're about to start.
- And we're in.
- All right, everyone Our esteemed lyricist has finally finished the verses for History is made at night.
Since we're six days away from an invited audience, I'd like to work quickly.
So let's try it with the original staging and see if it fits the new words.
Places for the second verse, please.
Uh, and if you guys could try it without the pages, that would be super.
- Uh - Just do it.
No, no, no.
I got it.
- Great.
- All right, then.
[Piano playing History is made at night.]
[Ensemble doo-wop vocalizing.]
I see the questions burning in your eyes or is it just reflections mm of the stars high above you? Oh, I'm just your student, and I hope you won't be shy please make corrections yeah, on the sweetest way to love you Come and sit close Whisper close tell me just when to say when Then we'll sleep through the day Then whenever you say that's when school begins again 'cause history is made at night so close the books, turn off the light and listen let my heart be the teacher no one here to disapprove as we review the lessons you've been missin' let the moon be our only light 'cause history is made at night [Ensemble vocalizing.]
Come here oh, oh, yeah someday they'll write lots of books about our fame and glory but if all their reports are just movies and sports Both: They'll be missin' the whole story All: Missin' the whole story both: 'cause history is made at night so close the books, turn off the light and listen [music stops, laughter.]
Oh, for crying out loud! Is it too much to ask for a moment of professionalism? Sorry.
[Chuckles mockingly.]
"Sorry" doesn't help me.
I need something that vaguely resembles sex.
Could we try that today with our Marilyn, please? I can do sex.
Then I'd like to see it.
And by the way, I'd love it if you were singing at the same time.
Let's take it from the bridge, please.
Hey, uh, while we're stopped, I have a thought.
Maybe you could give me notes without publicly humiliating me at the same time.
Oh, great.
Oh, and maybe maybe you could remember that artists are not football players who can take endless abuse and still do their jobs! Okay.
Miss Monroe is having a moment.
Oh! Well, maybe a different miss Monroe could do it better.
Miss Cartwright? Maybe you could take a crack at it.
- Let's take a ten.
- Um, no, seriously, Derek We should have given them more time with the lyrics.
I don't need more time with the lyrics! You know what I need? I need to stop sleeping with men who are complete narcissistic pricks! Oh, and you're not that good-looking! And you're not that good in bed either! It's just a side effect from the steroids.
[Crying.]
[Exhales sharply.]
You all right? Yeah, I will be.
[Both laughing.]
Well, that was quite a bit of unscripted drama today.
I probably shouldn't say anything, but I rather enjoyed it.
Ralph! There you are! You found the Bushwhack! This is Ellis and Zach.
Ralph Masius, my favorite Broadway producer.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Hello.
Could we, uh, have four of your delicious Martinis, please? Done.
Best drink in town, I swear.
- I'm not fancy.
- I am.
The Nederlanders are coming.
David stone, Jeffrey finn The list is incredibly impressive.
- Show him the list, Ellis.
- No need.
- Put me on it.
- Put him on the list, Ellis.
Is that the reason why we're celebrating? Well, that and a couple of other things.
I just landed a beautiful, luxury, two-bedroom apartment Top floor at a basement price.
- Awesome! - What neighborhood? The Lower East Side, boys.
I, um, have a nephew who has a nice building.
[Laughs.]
Cheers, everybody! - Here's to change! - I'm down with that.
- Mmm! - Not bad.
How's your big buck hunter,Ralph? Buck what-er? [Laughter.]
Come on, follow me.
I'm taking you all on.
Oh, we'd like four more Martinis, please.
Five One for you.
[Coins rattling.]
Watch out, now.
It's my turn.