Sneakerheads (2020) s01e06 Episode Script

1
Jesus, we really don't have time for this.
Yo, I gotta eat. That food in Hong Kong,
it wasn't shit, okay?
Plus, I promised Nori and Stuey
I'd show 'em these before we traded 'em.
-What about Perfect Pair?
-He not gonna be there for another hour.
You tripping.
How do you know where he lives at, anyway?
Reddit. You know you can get anything
on Reddit, right? Even vitamins.
You can get vitamins
from the store, Bobby.
-If you want your mind controlled.
-[scoffs]
And plus, if you think about it,
divorce is not really that bad, okay?
My parents, they called it quits ages ago,
and I turned out A-okay.
More the reason for me
to get home to my wife.
W-W-S-D.
W-W-S-D?
It's my new life mantra.
What would Statham do?
Oh, and speaking of
He just texted me, look at this.
He texts me all the time.
He's actually quite needy
for an action star.
For the people ♪
For the culture ♪
For the culture ♪
For the culture ♪
-Holy shit, they are real.
-Which is great and all,
but how did Jason fucking Statham
break you out?
[dramatic music]
[man screaming]
And then 15 minutes after that,
bags came off,
-and we were at a karaoke spot?
-Karaoke, mm-hmm.
No way. Did you sing with Jason?
Please tell me you sang with Jason.
Yeah, he was singing. He was shirtless.
-What?!
-[Nori] That's insane.
That was just the half of it. Twenty
minutes after that, we was in a helicopter
on the way to an abandoned airport,
and then there was a 747,
waiting to exfiltrate us stateside.
And I think he has a thing for Bobby.
Jason Statham is not into me,
first of all.
-Oh, really?
-Yeah.
-Okay, so why has he texted you 100 times?
-Hold up, are you jealous?
[Devin] No!
What's up, guys?
Holy shit!
Are these what I think they are?
Yo, my man.
Yo, get the fuck out of here, man.
Come on, just let me hold them.
Hey, if you wanna hold something,
hold your nuts. All right?
-Oh, come on, just--
-Oh!
-What are you doing, yo?!
-Oh, my God!
-Somebody call 911!
-No, no, no, no!
You're just gonna make it worse.
Devin's right.
We only get one shot at saving them.
Look, I normally don't do shit
for people I don't get down with,
but since this is kind of my fault--
Kind of?
No, this is 100% your fucking fault.
Which is why I'm willing to hook you up
with my boy J. Markk.
You mean Jason Markk?
Nobody calls him J. Markk.
His homies do. You'll see.
J. Markk!
What up, fam? What's cracking?
What'd you just call me?
-J. Markk.
-Nobody calls me that.
-But I just did.
-Well, don't.
All right, for sure, for sure,
that's what's up.
So listen, I need you
to do me a solid real quick.
My road dogs here managed to fuck up
some sneakers pretty bad.
Look, enough with the bullshit.
We need your help, and we need it ASAP.
Yes. Jason Markk, you're the only one
that can fix this.
Are those
-[Devin] The Zeros.
-What the fuck happened to 'em?
Your boy here spilled
a spinach and kale smoothie on them.
-That's not my boy.
-What?!
-We met one time, bro.
-[Nori scoffs]
Don't tell me he asked you
to do a TikTok with him.
Asked? He wouldn't shut up about it.
-That shit would be tight, though, dog.
-Shut up.
Can you help us or not?
[Jason sighs]
I can't make any promises,
but I'll see what I can do.
That's all I'm asking.
Just see what you can do.
-J. Markk, what's good, fam?
-What's good, Rel? You good?
Man, I'm blessed, man,
you know what I'm saying?
This Lil Rel?
My mind is blown right now.
Are these what I think they is?
Yeah, those the Zeros.
-These the fucking Zeros?!
-Those the Zeros.
-Those the Zeros, man.
-Oh, shit!
Well, look, look, look,
are you selling these?
They not for sale.
We not selling 'em.
We actually trying to
get them fixed right now,
-so you can just do that for us, please.
-Come on, fam.
-How much you want for these, for real?
-Literally not for sale.
Bruh, I got $10,000 cash right now.
-Sold.
-What the fuck?!
-Yes.
-No.
Give me one second.
Let me talk to you.
This dude wants to give us $10,000
for some potentially ruined shoes.
But that's nowhere near what
we can get for 'em if Jason fixes it.
Look, I'm not about to give up
on a sure thing for your pipe dream!
-It's not a pipe dream!
-It is a pipe dream!
[Bobby] What you think
I'm doing this for?
What if Jason can't fix them?
What if Perfect Pair doesn't come through?
Look, we can break even and some!
I don't give a fuck
about breaking even, man.
-What about my family?!
-Fuck your family!
Hey, hey, hey! Fellas, man, look,
I ain't got all day, man.
-I mean, have y'all made a decision yet?
-We still negotiating.
If you got stuff to do, get out.
See what I did there?
Look, all you need to have
a chance in this life is what?
-A chip and a chair.
-A chip and a chair.
This is not just about us.
It's about our dream, the store.
So you sell this for $10,000,
we not gonna get nothing.
You said you were gonna trust me.
I just need you to keep your word,
'cause your word is your bond.
Doyle Brunson.
-Doyle Brunson.
-Doyle Brunson.
[Rel clears throat]
Go ahead, he gonna tell you right now.
He gonna break your heart.
What's up? I got the ten right here, bruh.
-No deal.
-No deal.
10,000.
-Stop waving it in our face like that.
-It's, like, right here.
-Look, we good.
-No deal.
And why you just carry
$10,000 cash around?
I mean, that's what rich people do,
you know?
Oh, look, I'll take 10,000 for these.
I don't want those.
I don't like glow-in-the-dark shoes.
Man. Yo, why hasn't he said anything yet?
-Yo, I'ma go up in there.
-Wait.
Jason's the best of the best, okay?
If anyone can do this, it's him.
[Devin] Oh, so what's the word?
It was pretty touch-and-go
for the first 20 minutes or so,
but once I got through that top layer,
I was able to bring 'em back.
-You brought 'em back?
-I brought 'em back.
I knew you'd be able to do it.
-So can we see 'em?
-Of course.
They're still in the recovery room,
but I'll take you back.
They're on the table in the back,
so just don't touch them
for another 15 minutes or so.
[Bobby] All right, bet.
It smell good in here.
Ooh, where they at, baby?
-Where they at?
-They were just here.
-What you mean?
-What the fuck?
-What you mean?
-Wait, what happened?
They're gone?!
-They was right here?
-Shit.
They was right here?
Check over there, man.
-Where's Cole?
-Oh, shit, check his Instagram.
On it.
-Talking crazy.
-Bingo.
He's already live-streaming
from around the corner.
-What?!
-Around for them to slip up!
[Cole laughing]
Woo!
[upbeat hip-hop music]
Damn, you fast!
-Hey, Stuey, move. You slow as shit!
-I'm trying!
-Goddamn, you slow.
-Oh, my God.
-How do they run that fast?
-You good?
I'm fine, I'm fine, just go.
Save yourselves.
Just go.
I'm fine.
[Stuey gasping]
No way.
Nori comes here all the time. Wait
They can't be.
It can't actually be them, right?
Screw it, a quick look can't hurt.
So then I made some friends
with some losers who was like,
"I know a guy, blah, blah, blah--"
Wait. He's over there, he's over there,
he's over there!
[Bobby grunting]
Wait, how you so fast?
[Cole laughing]
Hashtag somebody's ass got [screams]
No, please, please, please.
-[Devin groaning]
-Please!
[Devin screams]
Give me this, you punk ass bitch.
-I was just playing, man.
-Shut up!
How they looking?
-They're perfect.
-Woo!
Nori! Hey, Nori!
Damn, dude, you okay?
Check these out.
What'd you do, Stuey?
What are you waiting for? Just open it.
-Stop it, are these
-Check the label.
[Nori gasping]
Holy shit, kid.
You found them. What the fuck?
I see you staring
Bad bitch, you better know ♪
You need that good dick ♪
You're a good man, Stuey.
My pops would've liked you.
[Bobby] Looky, looky what we got here.
You got some lipstick
That's all right.
[Devin laughing]
Well, yeah, let's let's go get it done.
All of us?
Yeah. We a squad now.
[Devin laughing]
Now let's go.
[gentle upbeat music]
I'll be surprised if they don't
do a 30 For 30 about us,
or, like, a scripted series,
or something like that.
Nobody wants to watch a TV show
about sneakerheads.
-You don't know.
-Oh, I'd totally watch that shit.
-See?
-The highs, the lows, the betrayals.
[Nori laughs]
[Bobby] This is it right here, see that?
I led y'all to the promised land.
-All right, let's go.
-Oh, fuck, shit!
What? What is it?
-Nothing, I don't wanna talk about it.
-No, what is it?
I don't wanna talk about it.
-Give--
-I wouldn't. Okay.
-Give me that--
-There you go.
-[Devin chuckles]
Jason Statham sent you a dick pic?
-What?!
-Did you really have to say that out loud?
-It's not funny, guys. Okay?
-I think I have to.
-I have to.
-What am I supposed to do with this?
Besides delete it?
Yeah, besides delete it. What do I
Do you think maybe he sent it by mistake?
Oh, no, no, we all know
that he didn't send it by mistake.
Bobby, does it smell like sandalwood?
That's very funny.
So funny I forgot to laugh.
Wait, wait, don't walk away.
Look, Nori, just tell me
-I'ma text him.
-And say what?
I don't know. Okay, for starters, like,
"Dear Jason Statham, I think you're dope,
you're a huge inspiration,
but maybe we should just be friends."
Is that how you really feel, though?
I think so, yeah.
-But you're not positive?
-It's Jason Statham, okay?
I don't wanna hurt his feelings.
Okay, no offense, but he's a celebrity
and a total badass
and you're, well, you're you.
How you gonna say "no offense"
but offend somebody?
That's very offensive.
I take offense to it. Let's go.
-[Devin] Oh, you mad?
-Yeah, I'm mad.
[laughing] He's big mad.
[doorbell rings]
-Wait, I think I know. It's three--
-Stop it!
Is there something
I can help you with?
-Yeah, show him, show him.
-Yes.
Boom, the Zeros.
-Damn.
-[Bobby] That's nice, right?
Cool, man, anything else?
What What do you mean, "anything else"?
Like, no, those are the ones.
I mean, those are the Zeros.
[Devin stutters]
You know what the fuck I mean, right?
I do, but I just don't care.
Of course you care,
or else you wouldn't have offered up
your entire collection for 'em.
[Devin] Yes!
Hey, babe, will you grab me
another Diet Coke?
I'll trade you my whole collection for it.
See, it's kind of something I say, guys.
It's like my thing, you know?
But you meant it when
you said it in the video, right?
Fuck no, bro.
My collection's worth millions.
-Why would I just give it away?
-Because
These are the the one-eyed unicorn,
remember? These are the Zeros.
Which would've been impressive
when I posted that video.
It turns out there's, like,
six pairs made,
five of which have already
been brought to me.
So that's it?
Like, there's no reward,
and you already have five
of the exact same shoe?
Four, actually.
Lil Rel just called a little while ago.
He bought a pair for ten stacks.
Crazy, right?
Sorry, guys.
[gentle music]
Look, I know you're mad, okay? I get it.
But if you think about it
like you lost a battle
but you ain't lose the war.
You gotta think long run, like Sole Mates.
It's about to take off, okay?
Battle?
I'm about to lose my marriage.
Do you understand that?
-What about the Zeros, then?
-Fuck these Zeros.
-So that's it?
-Shut the fuck up.
So much for being a squad.
You and I can still be a squad.
Let's go.
[gentle soul music]
[sighs]
Hey, pull over right here.
[Devin] Keep the car running.
[Devin sighs]
Where'd he go?
Yo. Yo, my man.
You on the clock.
Oh, you just gonna put your finger up?
Oh, you ain't getting five stars,
I can guarantee that.
No fucking way.
No fucking way.
-Hey, brother.
-Can I help you with something?
Uh
Any chance you willing
to sell me those fours?
-These fours?
-Yeah.
-That's on my feet?
-Yeah.
Nigga, are you crazy? I'm not gonna
sell you the shoes off my feet.
I know it was a long shot.
Man, my bad.
However, I got a few pair
in the trunk of my car.
$300 and they're yours.
-Thirteen?
-Hell yeah, I got a size 13.
-[Devin] Yes.
-Give me five minutes.
I'll be right back.
[chuckling] You have no idea
what I've been through
trying to get those shoes.
Brother, I totally understand
what you been through.
One time, let me tell you something.
One time I had to drive four miles
to get a pair in a color I like.
Might have been four and a half.
So are we taking an Uber or a Lyft?
Peace.
What, so that's it?
-That's what?
-Just you're leaving?
I've got work to do, Stuey.
Yeah, yeah, but I just thought,
I thought maybe we could, like, uh
I don't know.
There's really nothing else?
Oh, you know what?
There is something else.
-Here, I'm texting it to you, okay?
-Oh, what is it?
An invoice, with all your unpaid hours.
-Oh.
-Time is money.
I thought I was off the clock.
I could have paid you. I have the money.
I'm fucking with you!
Bro, I am so sorry.
That 13 I told you I thought I had
I don't have it, bro. I'm It's my bad.
-Of course not.
-Gotcha!
It's right here.
Thirteen?
It's a 13, brother.
But hey, you got the money?
I got you, I got you, I got you.
-Okay, brother.
-Easy.
Thank you.
[Devin laughs]
I knew you were real.
[gentle soul music]
Hey, yo, Dev Man!
Twinsies, huh?
I just got mine on GOA
for only 100 bucks over retail.
Not too shabby, right?
How about you?
Trouble finding yours?
I guess that's a no on margaritas.
I make mine with 1800 Tequila,
Silver or Reposado.
Your call when you're ready, baby.
[doorbell rings]
Hey.
Hey.
I thought you said
you weren't gonna get those.
I'm sorry.
For all of it.
And don't worry about the money.
I'm going back to work for real this time.
Look, I know you think
they're just sneakers.
But they're way more than that.
These are the shoes I was wearing--
When you scored 22 points a game
when you were in high school, I know.
And you wore them to prom.
The question is,
why are they such a big deal?
Why is it such a big deal?
It was ten years ago.
I had just finished hooping,
Bobby had called me
to meet him down at King King, and
there you were.
And you smiled at me.
And at that moment, I
I didn't even know what day it was,
what I had for lunch,
or even what city I was in.
At that moment, I knew I was all in.
These are the shoes I was wearing
when I fell in love with you.
Okay.
Anything else I'm supposed to know?
Me and Bobby got arrested in Hong Kong,
Jason Statham broke us out,
then sang shirtless karaoke.
You went to Hong Kong with Bobby?!
I know you don't like Bobby.
I don't even know if I like Bobby,
but he was my best friend.
I miss having him in my life.
[gentle music]
Give me them flowers.
Hey.
Did you just
[both laugh]
Okay, okay.
You know what,
why don't you call Bobby tomorrow
and see if he can have
dinner with us this weekend?
Oh.
You think we can invite your mom?
-Wow.
-[Devin laughing]
-You got jokes?
-I'm just saying--
-No.
-The chemistry--
-Nope.
-We won't let him drink.
-Canceled, you're done.
-I promise.
Mm-mm.
Uh, what is this?
It's a purse.
[hip-hop music]
For the people ♪
For the culture ♪
That's how we do ♪
Fuck all the vultures ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey, we'll just ghost ya ♪
For the people ♪
For the culture ♪
That's how we do ♪
Fuck all the vultures ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey, we'll just ghost ya ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey, we'll just ghost ya ♪
For the people ♪
For the culture ♪
That's how we do ♪
Fuck all the vultures ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey, we'll just ghost ya ♪
That's how we do ♪
Fuck all the vultures ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey, we'll just ghost ya ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪