Son of the Beach (2000) s01e06 Episode Script
Fanny and the Professor
[Announcer.]
The heatwave continues with 1 25-degree temperatures turning Malibu Adjacent into a virtual ghost town.
But it's a balmy 95 degrees at the beach making it the most crowded place on the planet.
Back awayfrom the beach.
Back away from the beach.
- [ Woof.]
- The beach is full.
Go home.
[ Speaking German .]
[ WoofWoof.]
No one else will be allowed in.
No one.
No exceptions.
How about me, Notch? - Oh, hi, Chappy.
Come on in.
- Thankyou.
Come on, come on.
Give the man some room.
Hey, how come some bum gets in and we don't? He's not a bum.
He's Homeless Chappy.
I've known Notchie here since he was knee-high to a shopping cart.
This beach is Chappy's home and his bathroom.
[ Kimberlee.]
Notch.
Notch.
This situation's out of control.
We've gotvictims ofheatstroke, sunstroke.
Jamaica and mejust saved a family of 5 from a shark attack.
How are they do-- How are they doing? They're gonna have some nasty nicknames when they get back to school.
Notch.
Looks like we have some reinforcements coming.
Look.
[ Notch .]
They're wearing our uniforms but I didn't hire them.
[ Kimberlee.]
Ifyou didn't hire them, who did? Ahem.
Mayor Massengil.
You hired them? Yes, and they're not your reinforcements.
They'reyour replacements.
You're all fired.
Huh? [ Announcer.]
Tonight's episode [ Announcer.]
Son ofthe Beach is shot on a film-like substance.
[ Radio Announcer.]
Currently, it's 1 25 in the city 95 at the beach and in beautiful downtown-- Notch, let me axyou this.
Havewe been axed? I'm afraid so,Jamaica.
I can't believe I've been 69'd.
Uh, I thinkyou mean 86'd.
Say hello and good-bye toyour replacements.
Julia, Louise and Dreyfuss.
Wow.
You three look so much alike, you could be twins.
But frau mayor, how are these little liebchens better than us? They're stronger, cheaper, and more efficient.
We'll be saving lives and money.
With all due respect, I don't think you're allowed to fire us without giving us a chance to compete against the new guards.
Checkyour contracts, cutie.
Well, itjust so happens I carry a copywith me.
I keep meaning to straighten this out.
Here it is.
Read it foryourself, Mayor.
It's right there in brown and yellow.
I'll takeyourword for it.
So, you want a contest? My girls will eatyou for lunch.
Oh, yeah? Well, I'll eatyour girls for breakfast.
[ Laughs .]
Come on, girls.
All right.
We've heard the challenge.
Now I've got one foryou.
I want the four ofyou to exercise like there's no tomorrow.
Ifyou work really hard maybe one dayyou'll have a body like this.
Now, let's get sweaty.
Johnson, it's time.
OK.
It's exactly two miles from here to Point Down.
I guaranteeyou, my three girls will finish the relay race before even one ofyou finishes.
[ Laughs .]
[ All Laughing .]
[ Kimberlee.]
Yeah, right.
Ready.
Set-- Oh, did I mention? They're robots.
- [ All .]
What? - Robots? - [ Kimberlee .]
Go.
Come on.
- Go, go, go! Move! Go, Notch, go.
I just dropped in to tell you guys I'm gonna miss you a lot.
Ah.
Uh, excuse me.
I've got to take a whizz.
The little boys' room is over there.
That's OK.
I'm finished.
[ All Groan .]
Seeya.
- Bye.
- Peace.
- Ew.
- Yo, Chief.
You look bent.
What's cracking? I'm not sure, but I think I'm having a thought.
Oh, I get those once in a while.
They usually pass.
No, no.
This one's telling me the mayor is not in this by herself.
Those robots are too perfect.
No, this has to be thework ofsome sort of evil genius.
[ Computer.]
Flatterywill getyou everywhere, Notch Johnson.
Milosevic.
That's Professor Milosevic.
Notch Johnson, you made me theway I am today.
You are about to learn that payback is a bitch.
[ Laughing .]
No! Good gravy.
The last time I sawyou you wouldn't have even made a good sofa cushion.
Yes, but look at me now brimming with vim and vigor.
How doyou like my cyber bitches? Theytook meyears to build.
All that time and energyjust to build mechanical lifeguards? They are the first members ofan entire race ofperfect roboticwomen.
A perfect race? Yo, Chief.
Where doyou know this bionic homeboy from? Jamaica, this man was once Malibu Adjacent's greatest lifeguard.
He taught me everything I know.
And then I ruined his life.
Yes.
Thanks to him, I am now part human and part Pentium 3 with a 550 megahertz processor a lithium ion battery and built-in DVD ROM.
Can you girls imagine what it feels like to have batteries insideyou? Do not feel bad.
Today I consider myself the luckiest man in the universe.
For I am replacing Notch Johnson as chieflifeguard.
Now, get out ofmy headquarters.
So long,Johnson.
Do not forget to E-mail.
[ Laughing .]
Notch, was the professor guy telling the truth, orwas he not telling a lie? It's not neither.
Let me tell you what happened.
Itwas a long time ago, I believe, in 1 998.
Backthen, his name was Duke Milosevic.
Wewere the best ofbuds.
Did everything together.
Until one day, wewere out for a sail.
Itwas a dayjust like today except itwas gusty, overcast, and 25 degrees cooler.
Everything was perfect, until out of nowhere, the weather started getting bad.
The sailboat was tossed.
Ifit wasn't for the daring of our courageous crew that sailboat would have been lost.
The boat rocked until Dukewas hanging offthe side.
I held on to him as long as I could but I must have put on too much sunblock because my hand was slippery.
I lost him.
And then one day, his bodywashed up on shore alive, but lifeless.
[ Crying .]
Oh.
Oh, Notch.
I'm so sorry.
I tried to save him.
I really did.
Ugh.
UmNotch? People think I'm perfect.
My body superhuman, but it's not.
Damn.
How nasty.
Uh, Notch? [ Speaking German .]
Notch? Oh, thanks, B.
J.
, but it's notyour fault.
It's mine.
Oh.
Notch, we'reyour friends.
We feel your pain.
OK, thankyou.
Thankyou.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I can't even rememberwhy I was upset.
[ Crying .]
Well, all I know is that we're much more smarter than some robots.
Well, surewe are.
You'll see.
Beforeyou know it, we'll all have jobs.
Yeah.
We'll get new jobs.
Trust me.
Everything's gonna be just fine.
[ Burps .]
[ Radio Announcer.]
It looks like another scorcher here in Malibu Adjacent.
Temperatures of 1 25 in the city, 95 at the beach.
[ Grunting .]
Ah.
Boy, I had the craziest dream last night.
Hey, what are my pants doing around my ankles? [ Computer.]
Oh, yes.
Daddy like.
Touch my mouth, Louise.
Touch it.
That's it.
I can see God.
I am getting tingly in the left part ofmy bodythat still has sensation.
Oh, yes.
I am going to empty my recycle bin.
Anyone home? One moment, please.
Julia, grab a moist towelette.
It's clean-up time.
Enter and sign in, please.
Greetings, Mayor.
Good news, Professor.
GovernorThomas has just confirmed he'll be here tomorrow morning.
Splendid.
Our dreams will be fully realized.
Yes.
When he sees how effective these robots are he'll offer me that lieutenant governorship so fast, your head will stayjust the way it is.
And I will be the exclusive supplier ofall beach personnel making me the number one lifeguard in the universe.
That's right.
Well, seeyou tomorrow morning.
Just pray it does not exceed 1 00 degrees Fahrenheit.
Why is that? Because the robots have not been tested above that temperature.
Listen, Ironsides.
If something goes wrong tomorrow ifthose robots don't perform perfectly I'll rip that joystick ofyours out and shove it upyour "A" drive.
And wipe that stupid look offyour face.
There he is.
Notch Johnson.
Is thatyou? I used to be Notch Johnson.
Notch, get it together.
Look, there's a chance we could get our lifeguard jobs back.
Not me.
All I do is blowjobs.
Notch, what's the matterwith you? Snap out ofit! Ah, forget it.
I'm useless.
Ooh! I'm a loser, honey.
Just kill me, why don'tyou? Aah! [ High-pitched Voice.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thanks fortrying.
Notch, you don't understand.
This whole thing was set up so the mayor can be lieutenant governor and Milosevic can rule theworld's beaches.
Yeah, Milosevic had me thrown offmy own beach.
He told me I was a bum.
Oh, Chappy.
You may look like a bum but trust me, you're a derelict.
Thankyou.
Milosevic, you bionic son ofa bastard.
Chappy, you're going home soyou can live outyour days in homelessness.
GovernorThomas, you are about to see an amazing show.
Well, I just hope I don't get heat stroke.
You know, I don't have a lieutenant governor.
Oh, that's right.
I'd completely forgotten.
Governor, this is Professor Milosevic the genius who's been working with me on this project.
Well, it's very nice to meetyou, Professor.
[ Computer.]
Nice to meetyou, Governor.
It is a lovely day for a m-m-m-m-maw maw.
Excuse me? Mmm.
Must have been a typo.
Forgive me.
And these areyour new 21 st century lifeguards.
Julia, Louise and Dreyfuss.
Hello there.
Well, let's get this demonstration started, shall we? Great idea.
Well, robots aside, it sure is great to have the gang back together.
- [ All .]
Yeah.
- No doubt.
But, yo, we should be down there kicking our skills forthe gov, man.
Yeah, but look at them.
They're perfect.
Yeah, butwhowants to live in a world where everybody's a perfect blond-haired, blue-eyed physical specimen who only does what they're told? - [ Girls .]
Not me.
- Chip? I'm thinking.
What ifI said theyweren't so perfect after all? Folks? I am now going to ask Professor Milosevic to program these lovely lifeguards to run to Santa Monica and back.
Professor? Verywell.
Ladies, run to Santa Monica and back.
Ha ha ha ha.
But seriously on your mark, get set.
What is going on here? I only have an hour.
Watch, oryou'll miss it.
[ Mayor.]
Aren't theywonderful? My God.
You mean if the temperature hits 1 00 they go haywire or something? Well, Milosevic wasn't sure but he seemed kind of nervous about it.
Too bad it's only-- 97! Try 98.
Yo, 99.
The heat is on.
This could be good.
Or not.
We're doomed.
Why don't we just crawl into bunker and shoot ourselves? No, wait.
The sun's out again.
[ All .]
All right! Go! Go! Oh, I wish I could do something to get it up.
Keep going, keep going.
Come on.
Chappy, I need that lighter.
Thanks.
- Come on.
- Makeway.
Makeway.
- Let's try this.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
- Come up.
- Oh, yeah.
- Get up.
Get up.
Come on, go! The robots are going verruckt.
Aaaaaah! What is this? Do something! I am melting.
- What? - Help me, Mommy.
You have three new messages.
Good-bye.
What the f-u- double toothpicks is going on here and where the hell is Notch Johnson? Well, I fired him.
- Fired him? - Yeah.
Well, un-fire him now.
OK.
Well, Mayor, we've got a problem.
Well, you should call SPF 30.
Oh, that's right.
You fired them.
Looks like hewas running Windows.
Looks like hewas running Windows.
Johnson, you gotta help us.
What? You want help from us lowly humans? Please.
Oh, fine.
You replace us today and tomorrowyou replace Jerry the postman orVera the seamstress or Larry the circus freak who can smoke a cigarette out ofhis rectum.
All right,Johnson, I get the idea.
Now areyou gonna stop those darn robots? Yeah, but only ifwe get ourjobs back.
[ Mayor.]
Of course.
Anything.
IfJohnson can stop this mess you're gonna give all ofthem a 20% raise.
- Hey.
Hey.
- Yeah.
OK, let's start by rebooting.
Now, to stop these robots I'll push control, alt, delete.
Hey, it worked! It worked! Yeah! [ Computer.]
Holy crap.
Exit, stage right.
What areyou doing? Isn't this whatyou want? I didn't saveyou once.
I'm not making the same mistake twice.
After all I've done toyou, Notch Johnson whywould you want to save me? Because I'm a lifeguard, damn it.
I took an oath to save people's lives.
You may be an evil scientist butyou're also a human being more or less but most of all, becauseyou're my friend.
Aah! Aah.
Aah.
Notch.
I have a small confession to make.
When I slipped out ofyour hand that day itwasn't because your hand was slippery.
Itwas I who applied the sunblock.
You had the sunblock on? I was just looking for someone to blame.
Weep.
Weep, weep, weep.
Weep, weep, weep, weep.
Weep, weep, weep, weep, weep [ Chorus.]
Reunited, andit feels so good Reunited, 'cause we understood There's one perfect fit, and, sugar This one is it We both are so excited 'Cause we're reunited Hey, hey Ooh hoo Ooh, listen, baby I won't ever make you cry I won't let one day go by Without holdingyou, without kissingyou Without lovingyou-hoo Reunited Reunited Oh, hi, teens.
Notch J ohnson here.
You know, tonight's show was about-- Well, what was tonight's show about? Uh-oh.
Looks like somebody could use some more memory.
Ha ha ha ha.
Tonight's showwas about broadly drawn TVvillains.
To learn more, log on to and click on Son ofthe Beach.
So, until next time, this is Notch Johnson saying "Ride the big one.
" You said, "The big one.
" Mmm.
Daddy like.
Ha ha ha ha.
Milo, you're too much.
The heatwave continues with 1 25-degree temperatures turning Malibu Adjacent into a virtual ghost town.
But it's a balmy 95 degrees at the beach making it the most crowded place on the planet.
Back awayfrom the beach.
Back away from the beach.
- [ Woof.]
- The beach is full.
Go home.
[ Speaking German .]
[ WoofWoof.]
No one else will be allowed in.
No one.
No exceptions.
How about me, Notch? - Oh, hi, Chappy.
Come on in.
- Thankyou.
Come on, come on.
Give the man some room.
Hey, how come some bum gets in and we don't? He's not a bum.
He's Homeless Chappy.
I've known Notchie here since he was knee-high to a shopping cart.
This beach is Chappy's home and his bathroom.
[ Kimberlee.]
Notch.
Notch.
This situation's out of control.
We've gotvictims ofheatstroke, sunstroke.
Jamaica and mejust saved a family of 5 from a shark attack.
How are they do-- How are they doing? They're gonna have some nasty nicknames when they get back to school.
Notch.
Looks like we have some reinforcements coming.
Look.
[ Notch .]
They're wearing our uniforms but I didn't hire them.
[ Kimberlee.]
Ifyou didn't hire them, who did? Ahem.
Mayor Massengil.
You hired them? Yes, and they're not your reinforcements.
They'reyour replacements.
You're all fired.
Huh? [ Announcer.]
Tonight's episode [ Announcer.]
Son ofthe Beach is shot on a film-like substance.
[ Radio Announcer.]
Currently, it's 1 25 in the city 95 at the beach and in beautiful downtown-- Notch, let me axyou this.
Havewe been axed? I'm afraid so,Jamaica.
I can't believe I've been 69'd.
Uh, I thinkyou mean 86'd.
Say hello and good-bye toyour replacements.
Julia, Louise and Dreyfuss.
Wow.
You three look so much alike, you could be twins.
But frau mayor, how are these little liebchens better than us? They're stronger, cheaper, and more efficient.
We'll be saving lives and money.
With all due respect, I don't think you're allowed to fire us without giving us a chance to compete against the new guards.
Checkyour contracts, cutie.
Well, itjust so happens I carry a copywith me.
I keep meaning to straighten this out.
Here it is.
Read it foryourself, Mayor.
It's right there in brown and yellow.
I'll takeyourword for it.
So, you want a contest? My girls will eatyou for lunch.
Oh, yeah? Well, I'll eatyour girls for breakfast.
[ Laughs .]
Come on, girls.
All right.
We've heard the challenge.
Now I've got one foryou.
I want the four ofyou to exercise like there's no tomorrow.
Ifyou work really hard maybe one dayyou'll have a body like this.
Now, let's get sweaty.
Johnson, it's time.
OK.
It's exactly two miles from here to Point Down.
I guaranteeyou, my three girls will finish the relay race before even one ofyou finishes.
[ Laughs .]
[ All Laughing .]
[ Kimberlee.]
Yeah, right.
Ready.
Set-- Oh, did I mention? They're robots.
- [ All .]
What? - Robots? - [ Kimberlee .]
Go.
Come on.
- Go, go, go! Move! Go, Notch, go.
I just dropped in to tell you guys I'm gonna miss you a lot.
Ah.
Uh, excuse me.
I've got to take a whizz.
The little boys' room is over there.
That's OK.
I'm finished.
[ All Groan .]
Seeya.
- Bye.
- Peace.
- Ew.
- Yo, Chief.
You look bent.
What's cracking? I'm not sure, but I think I'm having a thought.
Oh, I get those once in a while.
They usually pass.
No, no.
This one's telling me the mayor is not in this by herself.
Those robots are too perfect.
No, this has to be thework ofsome sort of evil genius.
[ Computer.]
Flatterywill getyou everywhere, Notch Johnson.
Milosevic.
That's Professor Milosevic.
Notch Johnson, you made me theway I am today.
You are about to learn that payback is a bitch.
[ Laughing .]
No! Good gravy.
The last time I sawyou you wouldn't have even made a good sofa cushion.
Yes, but look at me now brimming with vim and vigor.
How doyou like my cyber bitches? Theytook meyears to build.
All that time and energyjust to build mechanical lifeguards? They are the first members ofan entire race ofperfect roboticwomen.
A perfect race? Yo, Chief.
Where doyou know this bionic homeboy from? Jamaica, this man was once Malibu Adjacent's greatest lifeguard.
He taught me everything I know.
And then I ruined his life.
Yes.
Thanks to him, I am now part human and part Pentium 3 with a 550 megahertz processor a lithium ion battery and built-in DVD ROM.
Can you girls imagine what it feels like to have batteries insideyou? Do not feel bad.
Today I consider myself the luckiest man in the universe.
For I am replacing Notch Johnson as chieflifeguard.
Now, get out ofmy headquarters.
So long,Johnson.
Do not forget to E-mail.
[ Laughing .]
Notch, was the professor guy telling the truth, orwas he not telling a lie? It's not neither.
Let me tell you what happened.
Itwas a long time ago, I believe, in 1 998.
Backthen, his name was Duke Milosevic.
Wewere the best ofbuds.
Did everything together.
Until one day, wewere out for a sail.
Itwas a dayjust like today except itwas gusty, overcast, and 25 degrees cooler.
Everything was perfect, until out of nowhere, the weather started getting bad.
The sailboat was tossed.
Ifit wasn't for the daring of our courageous crew that sailboat would have been lost.
The boat rocked until Dukewas hanging offthe side.
I held on to him as long as I could but I must have put on too much sunblock because my hand was slippery.
I lost him.
And then one day, his bodywashed up on shore alive, but lifeless.
[ Crying .]
Oh.
Oh, Notch.
I'm so sorry.
I tried to save him.
I really did.
Ugh.
UmNotch? People think I'm perfect.
My body superhuman, but it's not.
Damn.
How nasty.
Uh, Notch? [ Speaking German .]
Notch? Oh, thanks, B.
J.
, but it's notyour fault.
It's mine.
Oh.
Notch, we'reyour friends.
We feel your pain.
OK, thankyou.
Thankyou.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I can't even rememberwhy I was upset.
[ Crying .]
Well, all I know is that we're much more smarter than some robots.
Well, surewe are.
You'll see.
Beforeyou know it, we'll all have jobs.
Yeah.
We'll get new jobs.
Trust me.
Everything's gonna be just fine.
[ Burps .]
[ Radio Announcer.]
It looks like another scorcher here in Malibu Adjacent.
Temperatures of 1 25 in the city, 95 at the beach.
[ Grunting .]
Ah.
Boy, I had the craziest dream last night.
Hey, what are my pants doing around my ankles? [ Computer.]
Oh, yes.
Daddy like.
Touch my mouth, Louise.
Touch it.
That's it.
I can see God.
I am getting tingly in the left part ofmy bodythat still has sensation.
Oh, yes.
I am going to empty my recycle bin.
Anyone home? One moment, please.
Julia, grab a moist towelette.
It's clean-up time.
Enter and sign in, please.
Greetings, Mayor.
Good news, Professor.
GovernorThomas has just confirmed he'll be here tomorrow morning.
Splendid.
Our dreams will be fully realized.
Yes.
When he sees how effective these robots are he'll offer me that lieutenant governorship so fast, your head will stayjust the way it is.
And I will be the exclusive supplier ofall beach personnel making me the number one lifeguard in the universe.
That's right.
Well, seeyou tomorrow morning.
Just pray it does not exceed 1 00 degrees Fahrenheit.
Why is that? Because the robots have not been tested above that temperature.
Listen, Ironsides.
If something goes wrong tomorrow ifthose robots don't perform perfectly I'll rip that joystick ofyours out and shove it upyour "A" drive.
And wipe that stupid look offyour face.
There he is.
Notch Johnson.
Is thatyou? I used to be Notch Johnson.
Notch, get it together.
Look, there's a chance we could get our lifeguard jobs back.
Not me.
All I do is blowjobs.
Notch, what's the matterwith you? Snap out ofit! Ah, forget it.
I'm useless.
Ooh! I'm a loser, honey.
Just kill me, why don'tyou? Aah! [ High-pitched Voice.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thanks fortrying.
Notch, you don't understand.
This whole thing was set up so the mayor can be lieutenant governor and Milosevic can rule theworld's beaches.
Yeah, Milosevic had me thrown offmy own beach.
He told me I was a bum.
Oh, Chappy.
You may look like a bum but trust me, you're a derelict.
Thankyou.
Milosevic, you bionic son ofa bastard.
Chappy, you're going home soyou can live outyour days in homelessness.
GovernorThomas, you are about to see an amazing show.
Well, I just hope I don't get heat stroke.
You know, I don't have a lieutenant governor.
Oh, that's right.
I'd completely forgotten.
Governor, this is Professor Milosevic the genius who's been working with me on this project.
Well, it's very nice to meetyou, Professor.
[ Computer.]
Nice to meetyou, Governor.
It is a lovely day for a m-m-m-m-maw maw.
Excuse me? Mmm.
Must have been a typo.
Forgive me.
And these areyour new 21 st century lifeguards.
Julia, Louise and Dreyfuss.
Hello there.
Well, let's get this demonstration started, shall we? Great idea.
Well, robots aside, it sure is great to have the gang back together.
- [ All .]
Yeah.
- No doubt.
But, yo, we should be down there kicking our skills forthe gov, man.
Yeah, but look at them.
They're perfect.
Yeah, butwhowants to live in a world where everybody's a perfect blond-haired, blue-eyed physical specimen who only does what they're told? - [ Girls .]
Not me.
- Chip? I'm thinking.
What ifI said theyweren't so perfect after all? Folks? I am now going to ask Professor Milosevic to program these lovely lifeguards to run to Santa Monica and back.
Professor? Verywell.
Ladies, run to Santa Monica and back.
Ha ha ha ha.
But seriously on your mark, get set.
What is going on here? I only have an hour.
Watch, oryou'll miss it.
[ Mayor.]
Aren't theywonderful? My God.
You mean if the temperature hits 1 00 they go haywire or something? Well, Milosevic wasn't sure but he seemed kind of nervous about it.
Too bad it's only-- 97! Try 98.
Yo, 99.
The heat is on.
This could be good.
Or not.
We're doomed.
Why don't we just crawl into bunker and shoot ourselves? No, wait.
The sun's out again.
[ All .]
All right! Go! Go! Oh, I wish I could do something to get it up.
Keep going, keep going.
Come on.
Chappy, I need that lighter.
Thanks.
- Come on.
- Makeway.
Makeway.
- Let's try this.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
- Come up.
- Oh, yeah.
- Get up.
Get up.
Come on, go! The robots are going verruckt.
Aaaaaah! What is this? Do something! I am melting.
- What? - Help me, Mommy.
You have three new messages.
Good-bye.
What the f-u- double toothpicks is going on here and where the hell is Notch Johnson? Well, I fired him.
- Fired him? - Yeah.
Well, un-fire him now.
OK.
Well, Mayor, we've got a problem.
Well, you should call SPF 30.
Oh, that's right.
You fired them.
Looks like hewas running Windows.
Looks like hewas running Windows.
Johnson, you gotta help us.
What? You want help from us lowly humans? Please.
Oh, fine.
You replace us today and tomorrowyou replace Jerry the postman orVera the seamstress or Larry the circus freak who can smoke a cigarette out ofhis rectum.
All right,Johnson, I get the idea.
Now areyou gonna stop those darn robots? Yeah, but only ifwe get ourjobs back.
[ Mayor.]
Of course.
Anything.
IfJohnson can stop this mess you're gonna give all ofthem a 20% raise.
- Hey.
Hey.
- Yeah.
OK, let's start by rebooting.
Now, to stop these robots I'll push control, alt, delete.
Hey, it worked! It worked! Yeah! [ Computer.]
Holy crap.
Exit, stage right.
What areyou doing? Isn't this whatyou want? I didn't saveyou once.
I'm not making the same mistake twice.
After all I've done toyou, Notch Johnson whywould you want to save me? Because I'm a lifeguard, damn it.
I took an oath to save people's lives.
You may be an evil scientist butyou're also a human being more or less but most of all, becauseyou're my friend.
Aah! Aah.
Aah.
Notch.
I have a small confession to make.
When I slipped out ofyour hand that day itwasn't because your hand was slippery.
Itwas I who applied the sunblock.
You had the sunblock on? I was just looking for someone to blame.
Weep.
Weep, weep, weep.
Weep, weep, weep, weep.
Weep, weep, weep, weep, weep [ Chorus.]
Reunited, andit feels so good Reunited, 'cause we understood There's one perfect fit, and, sugar This one is it We both are so excited 'Cause we're reunited Hey, hey Ooh hoo Ooh, listen, baby I won't ever make you cry I won't let one day go by Without holdingyou, without kissingyou Without lovingyou-hoo Reunited Reunited Oh, hi, teens.
Notch J ohnson here.
You know, tonight's show was about-- Well, what was tonight's show about? Uh-oh.
Looks like somebody could use some more memory.
Ha ha ha ha.
Tonight's showwas about broadly drawn TVvillains.
To learn more, log on to and click on Son ofthe Beach.
So, until next time, this is Notch Johnson saying "Ride the big one.
" You said, "The big one.
" Mmm.
Daddy like.
Ha ha ha ha.
Milo, you're too much.