Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s01e06 Episode Script
Banjo
Halt. Who goes there?
I, zorak.
Sorry, man. Sorry.
Moltar, look, I am green with evil.
Huh?
I said, did your mail order come in yet?
Yeah.
What did you get?
Soap.
Hmm, what kind?
Lava.
It's got pumice.
Yeah.
Is that your new book?
What?
Is that your new book?
Shut up. I'm reading my new book.
Sorry.
Huh?
I said, you can't read.
Yeah, yeah.
Where's the ghost?
In the back with his new sea-monkey kit.
Now you've created an adorable home for your sea-monkeys.
Open the pouch labeled sea-monkey
pellets and pour it into the bowl.
In just minutes, your little
sea-monkeys will flourish with life.
What isthat?
It's a spell from my new book, the joy of incantations.
What's it do?
It gives me power over space ghost's mind.
It's a small spell.
He's got a small brain.
Soon you'll be able to observe your
sea-monkeys as they make families,
have dinner, purchase fine autos,
and perform other daily life activities,
all within the domain of the sea-monkey bowl.
Wow!
Time to get space ghost.
I think I'll use my NASA voice.
- 10 seconds to air.
- Return to the set.
T minus 10 seconds and counting.
10, 9, 7, 6, 9
I have to go, sea-monkeys.
Here. Have one of my special super vitamins.
Greetings. I'm space ghost.
Joining me on this show, rap artist schooly d and funnyman
"weird al" yankovic.
- Say hi to the band.
- They're right over there.
Zorak, what's wrong with your eyes?
- Oh, I see what you're doing.
- No, no, no.
If you want to control my mind,
your eyes need to spin counterclockwise.
Oh.
All rightie.
My first guest is schooly d.
I kind of figured that out.
- Hi, schooly.
- How are you?
What's up, man?
- I'm all right.
- I'm all right.
How are you doing?
Fine, fine, fine.
Say, where'd you get the ball cap, son?
Uh, I got it from the planet zurf.
You don't say.
Citizen schooly
Original gangster is in the House.
Say something stupid.
You want to watch me swallow a live mollusk?
No.
I mean, tell me about your slacks.
These are baggy jeans.
You buy them 3 sizes bigger so they can hang off your butt.
- Yeah, I saw a yard gnome once.
- It didn't scare me.
Yeah.
Schooly. Schooly.
Yeah, I'm here.
Are you interested in frolicking in a leafy glade?
Well, you know, even if I was, I couldn't
Hoo!
My mantis is dashing in a tux.
Will you please pass me one of those wall decorations?
My, they look lovely.
No!
Smells like chicken in here.
UhEh Do you have any super powers?
Yeah. Of course I got super powers because I'm schooly d.
Display them.
- I can't do that.
- Why not?
I'm just not allowed to do it.
So, you mean you don't have any.
Yeah.
- So the "d"
- Stands for defenseless.
No.
So, what does the "d" stand for, Mr. Rapper?
It might mean dynamite.
Or it might mean something pretty, like dandelion.
The "d" stands for something different every day.
"D" is for different and delightful.
- -
- I'm sure getting some sissy copy, aren't I?
Sing something delightful, you know, with flowers and stuff.
Every time I sing something about flowers,
I lose some of my powers.
You don't have any powers.
You need me in your posy.
Posse.
Like I said, posse.
Uh, I can't do that.
Well, then give me a rap name.
D.J. Space g.
Fly.
Yeah, well, you know Deadfly.
Yeah.
- -
- My sea-monkeys.
Uh, just a minute, schooly.
- Oh, all right.
- That's cool.
- Sea-monkeys!
- Sea-monkeys!
Wait. There's one.
Yes! It's moving.
- Hello, little one.
- I shall name you banjo.
You are mighty small, little banjo, and your flippers are tired.
- - But one day, you will become -
King of the sea-monkeys.
Schooly.
Yeah.
Space ghost is tending his brine shrimp.
Can you wait?
- That don't get it.
- I'm sorry. No.
WellCan we break your legs?
- Break 'em!
- Break 'em!
This is crazy.
It'll only hurt once.
Ah, ok.
Schooly, you're the man.
No, you the man.
No, you're the man.
- You the man.
- No, youthe man.
- You the man.
- You are the man.
Iam the man.
- No. You're the mantis.
- Schooly is the man.
- You are the man.
- You're space ghost.
- You're the man, schooly.
- Live with it.
Ok.
We're out of time.
Leave us with words to live by.
No matter how hard it seems, you got to keep going
and you got to keep trying because as soon
as you give up, - the game is over with.
What are you all looking at?
Your hat.
You're looking at me like I went crazy.
Your hat's on backwards.
Sure is.
We shall return with a vengeance.
Ready or not, here we come.
- -
- Ok. I'm all alone.
Banjo. Oh, banjo!
My, how you've grown.
I'm banjo, banjo faster than lightning.
Ow! You could have taken my hand off.
Bad banjo. I'm not cleaning that up.
My next guest is "weird al" yankovic.
Here he comes now.
Hi, people of the universe. Hi!
Look at me. I'm on tv.
Woo! Woo! Hee hee!
Woo! Woo!
Ha. Ho ho!
Woo.
Welcome to the show, "weird al."
Woo.
Thank you. I can't tell you what an
intense thrill it is to be on your show.
Sure, you could.
Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
- Tell him now.
- Tell him.
Hey, zorak, you shut up.
Ooh.
I don't know how!
Hey, al, tell us about your new record.
Oh, please, space ghost.
I came on your show because I'm a big fan,
not to plug my latest album.
Wrong! Next question.
Super powers. Got any?
Well, I can eat my own weight in ding dongs.
Mm-hmm.
I can turn red traffic lights green
just by staring at them, and I can do
an oil painting with my butt.
That's enough to get you on this show.
Yeah. Times are a little hard, I guess.
So, what'd you think of schooly?
- He's a party animal.
- He's a nut.
- He's completely out-of-control.
- He's a party in a can.
He's a wacky, zany, nutty funster.
Zorak's wacky, ain't he?
Sure. Um, hey, zorak You evil locust.
Mantis.
My powers are beyond your comprehension.
Do a b-flat.
Ah Ah!
Ah!
Ah ah Now contort your body.
Ok.
Ah what does that feel like?
It's kind of painful, and it kind
of feels good at the same time.
You mean, like when your enemy is shaving your back
- Can you help me here, space ghost?
- What?
Can you help me?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Um, haga!
You know, that reminds me of a story,
a story about a little pellet, who
with a little grit and a lot of
sheer will became a sea-monkey.
Also, he shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Ha ha.
And, you know, al, that little sea-monkey is named banjo.
- -
- Here, banjo.
Banjo.
- -
- Here, shrimp.
Aren't you plucky, finding your way to the set?
Uh-oh.
Jumping jujubes!
Man, that's a big shrimp.
Got to go now.
- No, banjo.
- Why are you doing this?
I gave you life.
No!
What have I unleashed?!
That's it, boy.
Come get some.
Aah!
Why do we always hurt the ones we love?
Why, banjo? Why?!
Banjo! Banjo!
Banjo!
Ok, that's a rap.
- Break it down, boys.
- Somebody get a hose.
- -
- Don't you dare!
- -
- Space ghost.
What?
Are you going to eat that?
That's a sick joke, moltar, even for you.
I thought you guys were my friends.
I have to get out of here.
Mmm.
Barbecued shrimp.
Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group
I, zorak.
Sorry, man. Sorry.
Moltar, look, I am green with evil.
Huh?
I said, did your mail order come in yet?
Yeah.
What did you get?
Soap.
Hmm, what kind?
Lava.
It's got pumice.
Yeah.
Is that your new book?
What?
Is that your new book?
Shut up. I'm reading my new book.
Sorry.
Huh?
I said, you can't read.
Yeah, yeah.
Where's the ghost?
In the back with his new sea-monkey kit.
Now you've created an adorable home for your sea-monkeys.
Open the pouch labeled sea-monkey
pellets and pour it into the bowl.
In just minutes, your little
sea-monkeys will flourish with life.
What isthat?
It's a spell from my new book, the joy of incantations.
What's it do?
It gives me power over space ghost's mind.
It's a small spell.
He's got a small brain.
Soon you'll be able to observe your
sea-monkeys as they make families,
have dinner, purchase fine autos,
and perform other daily life activities,
all within the domain of the sea-monkey bowl.
Wow!
Time to get space ghost.
I think I'll use my NASA voice.
- 10 seconds to air.
- Return to the set.
T minus 10 seconds and counting.
10, 9, 7, 6, 9
I have to go, sea-monkeys.
Here. Have one of my special super vitamins.
Greetings. I'm space ghost.
Joining me on this show, rap artist schooly d and funnyman
"weird al" yankovic.
- Say hi to the band.
- They're right over there.
Zorak, what's wrong with your eyes?
- Oh, I see what you're doing.
- No, no, no.
If you want to control my mind,
your eyes need to spin counterclockwise.
Oh.
All rightie.
My first guest is schooly d.
I kind of figured that out.
- Hi, schooly.
- How are you?
What's up, man?
- I'm all right.
- I'm all right.
How are you doing?
Fine, fine, fine.
Say, where'd you get the ball cap, son?
Uh, I got it from the planet zurf.
You don't say.
Citizen schooly
Original gangster is in the House.
Say something stupid.
You want to watch me swallow a live mollusk?
No.
I mean, tell me about your slacks.
These are baggy jeans.
You buy them 3 sizes bigger so they can hang off your butt.
- Yeah, I saw a yard gnome once.
- It didn't scare me.
Yeah.
Schooly. Schooly.
Yeah, I'm here.
Are you interested in frolicking in a leafy glade?
Well, you know, even if I was, I couldn't
Hoo!
My mantis is dashing in a tux.
Will you please pass me one of those wall decorations?
My, they look lovely.
No!
Smells like chicken in here.
UhEh Do you have any super powers?
Yeah. Of course I got super powers because I'm schooly d.
Display them.
- I can't do that.
- Why not?
I'm just not allowed to do it.
So, you mean you don't have any.
Yeah.
- So the "d"
- Stands for defenseless.
No.
So, what does the "d" stand for, Mr. Rapper?
It might mean dynamite.
Or it might mean something pretty, like dandelion.
The "d" stands for something different every day.
"D" is for different and delightful.
- -
- I'm sure getting some sissy copy, aren't I?
Sing something delightful, you know, with flowers and stuff.
Every time I sing something about flowers,
I lose some of my powers.
You don't have any powers.
You need me in your posy.
Posse.
Like I said, posse.
Uh, I can't do that.
Well, then give me a rap name.
D.J. Space g.
Fly.
Yeah, well, you know Deadfly.
Yeah.
- -
- My sea-monkeys.
Uh, just a minute, schooly.
- Oh, all right.
- That's cool.
- Sea-monkeys!
- Sea-monkeys!
Wait. There's one.
Yes! It's moving.
- Hello, little one.
- I shall name you banjo.
You are mighty small, little banjo, and your flippers are tired.
- - But one day, you will become -
King of the sea-monkeys.
Schooly.
Yeah.
Space ghost is tending his brine shrimp.
Can you wait?
- That don't get it.
- I'm sorry. No.
WellCan we break your legs?
- Break 'em!
- Break 'em!
This is crazy.
It'll only hurt once.
Ah, ok.
Schooly, you're the man.
No, you the man.
No, you're the man.
- You the man.
- No, youthe man.
- You the man.
- You are the man.
Iam the man.
- No. You're the mantis.
- Schooly is the man.
- You are the man.
- You're space ghost.
- You're the man, schooly.
- Live with it.
Ok.
We're out of time.
Leave us with words to live by.
No matter how hard it seems, you got to keep going
and you got to keep trying because as soon
as you give up, - the game is over with.
What are you all looking at?
Your hat.
You're looking at me like I went crazy.
Your hat's on backwards.
Sure is.
We shall return with a vengeance.
Ready or not, here we come.
- -
- Ok. I'm all alone.
Banjo. Oh, banjo!
My, how you've grown.
I'm banjo, banjo faster than lightning.
Ow! You could have taken my hand off.
Bad banjo. I'm not cleaning that up.
My next guest is "weird al" yankovic.
Here he comes now.
Hi, people of the universe. Hi!
Look at me. I'm on tv.
Woo! Woo! Hee hee!
Woo! Woo!
Ha. Ho ho!
Woo.
Welcome to the show, "weird al."
Woo.
Thank you. I can't tell you what an
intense thrill it is to be on your show.
Sure, you could.
Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
- Tell him now.
- Tell him.
Hey, zorak, you shut up.
Ooh.
I don't know how!
Hey, al, tell us about your new record.
Oh, please, space ghost.
I came on your show because I'm a big fan,
not to plug my latest album.
Wrong! Next question.
Super powers. Got any?
Well, I can eat my own weight in ding dongs.
Mm-hmm.
I can turn red traffic lights green
just by staring at them, and I can do
an oil painting with my butt.
That's enough to get you on this show.
Yeah. Times are a little hard, I guess.
So, what'd you think of schooly?
- He's a party animal.
- He's a nut.
- He's completely out-of-control.
- He's a party in a can.
He's a wacky, zany, nutty funster.
Zorak's wacky, ain't he?
Sure. Um, hey, zorak You evil locust.
Mantis.
My powers are beyond your comprehension.
Do a b-flat.
Ah Ah!
Ah!
Ah ah Now contort your body.
Ok.
Ah what does that feel like?
It's kind of painful, and it kind
of feels good at the same time.
You mean, like when your enemy is shaving your back
- Can you help me here, space ghost?
- What?
Can you help me?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Um, haga!
You know, that reminds me of a story,
a story about a little pellet, who
with a little grit and a lot of
sheer will became a sea-monkey.
Also, he shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Ha ha.
And, you know, al, that little sea-monkey is named banjo.
- -
- Here, banjo.
Banjo.
- -
- Here, shrimp.
Aren't you plucky, finding your way to the set?
Uh-oh.
Jumping jujubes!
Man, that's a big shrimp.
Got to go now.
- No, banjo.
- Why are you doing this?
I gave you life.
No!
What have I unleashed?!
That's it, boy.
Come get some.
Aah!
Why do we always hurt the ones we love?
Why, banjo? Why?!
Banjo! Banjo!
Banjo!
Ok, that's a rap.
- Break it down, boys.
- Somebody get a hose.
- -
- Don't you dare!
- -
- Space ghost.
What?
Are you going to eat that?
That's a sick joke, moltar, even for you.
I thought you guys were my friends.
I have to get out of here.
Mmm.
Barbecued shrimp.
Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group