Standing Up (2022) s01e06 Episode Script

1 A NETFLIX SERIES I wanna get high I wanna take a break from myself I wanna live life I wanna know all about health I wanna get over you I wanna be somebody else I wanna survive I wanna just think about myself, oh Hi.
I'd like to perform.
Any slot available these days? Yes, it's possible.
Next Wednesday at 5:00 p.
m.
- The newbie? - That's right.
I've been working with Nezir.
He's been helping me write, you know? We have tons of stuff! I'm really Okay fine, the newbie slot.
That's cool.
- Seriously.
- Yeah, but No, I'm serious, man.
I was in the control room during the show while they were - Right.
- they were recording.
- It was unruly.
- Yeah, well I swear, hang on.
Those guys are They're vultures.
They were drooling.
They were even zooming in on her! - Well, yeah.
That's what they're after.
- Just waiting for her to slip up.
No! Yeah, that's how it is.
Tifflot, seriously, he goes too far.
I don't agree with what he did.
Yeah, and even then, man, I've seen them do so much worse.
- Mm.
- Yeah? - How long have you been here? - I've been here two years.
So did you have your heart removed before, or what? - Yeah.
Didn't you? - How are you, my slaves? Nezir, I'd like you to be part of my next op-ed.
Okay? Write me a minute or so about the guest, the news, your mother, whatever.
Feel free, my friend.
Can I write about your mother? See that's That's what I like.
I love it a lot.
- Hey, I didn't say yes.
- How you doing? - I love it! - You okay? Nezir, you have to sign your contract, for the rights, you know? - Okay.
Fine.
Great.
- I'll wait for you.
How much do we make? - In broadcasting rights? - Yeah.
400 euros per minute, something like that.
- Really? - Yeah.
So if you get to do Tiff's op-ed, it's a real win.
- Mmm-hmm.
- Huh.
Ah! There you are.
See? The Bling is back! Awesome.
I can't wait to perform everything we worked on.
- Hi, Nezir.
- Hi.
How's it going? You're not done yet? It was giving out half foam, half beer.
It wasn't a pint.
It was a cheesecake.
But I fixed the problem.
Okay.
Can you take care of the tomatoes next? Hey! Hello? Hello.
I'm making sure you're drying your hands okay.
So, about Tifflot - It wasn't cool what he - "It wasn't cool"? It was brutal, you mean.
Yeah, but you handled it great, Aïssa.
Honestly, you did really awesome.
Would all of you stop saying that? You saw what happened? Nezir, what were you thinking talking about me? About my private life, and Vlad, to that scumbag.
I swear I didn't say anything bad.
- He twisted everything I told him.
- You realize you could have said nothing.
Excuse me.
Thank you very much, people of the Drôle! I'm Aïssatou Gambaré.
In three weeks I'm at the Olympia.
Get your tickets.
We're almost sold out.
Thank you very much.
- Nice.
You did good.
Cool.
- I felt like crap just now.
I don't like haggling like this.
Man, you're stressed out.
Come on, Aïssa.
So, are you still opening for her at the Olympia? I don't know.
It's alright.
She knows Tifflot is the pit bull.
It's not your fault.
He's not a pit bull, bro.
He's He's a weasel.
I swear, he's a perverted vaping weasel.
Hey, you should discreetly switch his refill.
Give him, uh, kebab-flavor! Anthrax flavor.
- Here you go.
- Thank you very much.
- Enjoy.
- Thank you.
I'm hungry.
So how's Nezir? What is he doing for your opening act? Hmm? Nothing depressing about his mom's cancer or his dad's scoliosis, okay? Because then we could lose the audience.
- Right.
- He's gonna kill them.
- You're not listening to me.
- Hmm? - You're not with me right now.
- I am.
I'm listening.
I am, Laurent.
By the way Umm Um, on Wednesday, I, uh I need to have a small A small, you know, operation.
Operation? - Wednesday? This Wednesday? - Mmm.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's not a big deal.
- Hmm.
- I need to have To have a mole removed.
- Can't that wait until after the Olympia? - Mm-mm.
Is this thing such a concern? No.
Not at all.
It's benign.
But it shouldn't get any bigger.
God damn it, I don't like this.
Damn it! You have to be careful with these things.
Every time, hang on, I have a childhood friend.
- He's the best dermatologist - No, Laurent, don't bother.
You'll see.
He's nice.
- He looks after me.
Trust me.
Come on.
- No, really, Laurent - No, listen.
Give me that.
- We'll send him a picture of the thing.
- This This is so sweet.
- What? It's sweet, but don't worry.
Also, it's in a really private area.
- What? - And, besides, I found someone great.
For real.
It's fine.
Tasty, isn't it? This is a nice room.
- Actually, this is what I need.
- Mmm? How much is it per month? Oh, 200 euros.
- Two hundred euros? - Two thousand? - You actually have no idea.
- Well Two thousand? In any case, your boudoir is very cool, milady.
Truly, it's very convenient for when the plebs stage a transit strike.
Oh, my Lord, you mean you only visit me out of convenience? But of course.
In fact, I already want to visit you again.
- Apolline? - What? Oh! Apolline, open up, please.
Yeah, Mom, I'll come see you later, alright? - No! - Whoo! - What are you doing? I said no.
Get out! - Hello! Apolline, every abscess must be pierced.
You were right.
I forgive you for everything.
- You forgive me for everything? - Yes, yes, yes.
Now, it's time to get past this conflict.
So let's behave as adults.
"As adults.
" - Oh, thanks a lot.
- I'm sorry about last time, young man.
- Oh, God no.
No, no, no.
- Sorry, I was in shock.
- Truly, no problem.
- Really.
- What's your name? - Nezir.
- Is that Persian? - No, it's Algerian.
And we can't ignore the disciplinary commission.
That's unthinkable.
- Mom, we'll discuss it later.
- Oh no! It's done! I called the school, you can do your internship in London.
- Even if the commission - I don't care! - We'll discuss it tonight, alright? - Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
- Fine.
It's fine.
- Yeah, fine.
- Nabil? - I beg you, we don't want any more toast.
Go away! Bye.
I love you.
Oh fuck! Okay Well, I love this boudoir, but honestly, the room service is the best part.
So, you're going to London? No, I'm not going to London.
It's just that she She just never She doesn't listen to me.
Everything she says is what she wants to hear.
Yeah, but why do you listen to her? I don't listen to her.
 I just try not to upset her, you know what I mean? Yes, okay.
I see what you mean.
- I just try not to upset her.
- Fine, okay! Not saying she's right, but there's no harm going to the commission.
Yes, but if I go, I'm validating the idea that I made a mistake, lost my mind - and I'm just screwing around.
- Come on, it's just a safety net.
- In case - "In case" what? So Nezir's the only one who believes in this? I feel like my true self for the first time in my life.
Could someone be happy about that? Occupied! This isn't a phone booth, okay? This is a restroom! Sorry.
I'm sorry.
This place has much better 4G reception and I only get two little bars at home.
Hey, my Wi-Fi is Martin Router King.
I'll give you the password for five euros a month.
That's so sweet.
Nobody cares about your router king thing.
Let me go take a piss.
- She's cool.
- What's a router? It's the box that emits the Wi-Fi.
Okay, can you get one for me? My parents, they don't get what I'm doing here.
It makes me sad, but, you know, it's normal.
They didn't slave away for 32 years so that I could be here onstage saying stuff like, uh, "Hey, do you think feet smell like cheese, or does cheese smell like feet?" Good job.
We need to highlight the contrast between your family's hard work and the silliness of your jokes.
- I agree.
- Mmm.
Because you're saying that they slaved away for 32 years.
We need something more specific, more precise.
Hmm.
Your parents are from Vietnam.
They left in the early '80s.
They didn't ride a donkey across three continents? No, man.
It was a boat.
They were piled up.
People drowned.
My parents don't understand what I do.
It makes me sad, but they didn't cross the ocean cramped with 200 people in a ship's hold so that 32 years later I could be onstage saying stuff like, "Hey, do you think feet smell like cheese, or does cheese smell like feet?" Feet and cheese is It's too cute.
It's not Bling enough.
So let's not say feet.
Let's say dicks! It not dicks that smell like cheese It's cheese that smell like dicks! How are you guys doing tonight? Thank you very much.
My name is Bling.
- Bling, you're on a roll.
- Nez! - You're really hot.
- I owe it to you.
How many times do you perform an act before it becomes really good? Three hundred times.
That's bullshit.
You're not joking? Three hundred times? - Three hundred? - Yes.
At least.
It'll take me years before I can do a show.
Yeah.
Hey, it's normal.
Look at Bling.
It's been, what, five years since he started working on his new show? He's still fine-tuning it.
Oh, yeah.
You got involved in some complicated stuff, girl.
You know when you saw me perform? - Yes? Mmm.
- You remember? I know you thought it was horrible.
But for me, making people laugh is something extraordinary.
Of course.
Yes.
Very well.
But, I mean, I don't know.
Is taking a hot bath a profession? That's not what stand-up is.
You talk about yourself.
You talk about your problems, anxieties.
And it helps people feel less alone.
Right.
That already exists.
It's called literature.
Sorry, Apolline.
But it was plain vulgar.
What is it with this trend of women who want to shock and roll in the mud for no reason? That's not art.
Art means sublimating reality.
It's not soiling it in every sense.
Laughter can also sublimate reality.
So, anyway I don't want to argue.
I'm telling you it's important to me.
That's all.
That's all.
So, all those years of marvelous studies, you're not going to do anything with them? You'd be ready to destroy everything? Everything that I gave you in your entire life? What will you do with it? But everything you taught me, everything you gave me it's here forever.
It's not going to disappear.
Where's Pierre-Emmanuel? He's not here? Mm-mm.
He's in Singapore.
And then Hong Kong, and then Paris.
If he comes back.
Did you have a fight? Why are you saying that? I don't know if we fought.
I don't know.
Mmm.
Maybe he's like you, lying to me.
Anything's possible.
Clearly you can't trust anything or anyone.
Oh, this is beautiful.
Can you hear? Mmm! There, there, there.
I want I want to start with the Pistachio routine.
And then I'll try MOM - Hello? - Oh, I don't like knowing you're all alone up there in that dump.
Mom, we spoke ten minutes ago.
- I'm here, darling.
You know that.
- Yeah.
- Come on.
- Call me if you need anything at all.
- Yeah.
Good night, Mom.
- Good night.
- Love you.
- You too.
Ugh! MOM Come on, leave me alone.
It's excellent.
Cool.
If you like it, then I'm happy.
Shh! Focus, guys.
Yes, we're focused.
God! "The village is falling asleep.
" - Oh! - Shh! Today, we are in the village of - Rotten-on-Sea.
- Oh! - Come on, be quiet.
Be quiet.
- The little Rotters are falling asleep.
Wake up, little wolves.
And the villagers wake up.
Bling, hang on, the wolves have to kill someone.
But he's dead! That's not how you What are you talking about? - Let me be the narrator.
- Guys, let's move on.
Let's try that way.
It's done.
Turn on the TV.
including your book How to Have a Successful Divorce.
How to make sure the divorce is a success.
Well, I've had three divorces already, as our guest, Aïssatou Gambaré, kindly reminded me last week.
So it might come in handy.
Even though, in my case, I have to admit my three divorces were the best thing to have happened to me in my life.
Hey, I'm telling you.
Seriously, I love being divorced.
And, wait.
Wait, I'm not saying marriage isn't a good thing.
- What's he saying? - You're in love, you wanna get married - Why does this sound familiar? - go for it.
Oh! Is he serious? - What's going on? - What's going on? This is Louis C.
K.
's super-famous sketch on divorce.
- Who wrote his lines? - Hey, dude, that's plagiarism! It's the whole sketch! Doesn't Nezir write his lines? - Did you spring this on him? - That's not right.
- Is this you? - Tifflot, you thief! Listen He didn't even know the sketch.
For that alone he deserved to be punished.
Come on, Nez.
For that, and for everything else, Aïssatou.
Oh, seriously, you're completely insane.
Tifflot is going to knock you down.
I don't care.
I wasn't planning on staying anyway.
All right, guys! What's going on? We've been ringing for an hour.
No one is answering.
I don't know.
It's, uh the cat.
Sometimes he pushes the button and it starts the music.
Did you see the litter box? Veronèse isn't burying her feces anymore.
It stinks.
It's not a big deal.
This isn't a big deal.
- Oh, no, no, no.
No, no.
- Okay? - It's not a big deal.
- Look.
Look.
Look.
look.
She's shitting in my face.
See? Just like you.
You are shitting in my face.
- No.
No, not at all.
- That's what everyone does.
Yes, yes.
This is it now.
It's coming from all the orifices.
- It's okay.
- Everyone is shitting on me.
- It's okay.
What are you doing? - No, it's not.
- Stop it! What are you doing? - Emptying it out.
- Stop it! Stop it! - Everyone shits on me now.
- That's right.
There.
- What? That's all I'm worth.
- No.
No.
- Yes! That's all I'm worth.
That's all.
Uh-uh.
It's all It's all I'm worth.
HOW ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Oh dear! - The Tercian will make her sleep.
- Okay.
And make sure she takes her lithium.
It's very important.
- Will do.
- Had she stopped? No, I don't know.
My stepfather handles that, but he's in Asia right now.
SHOULD I COME MEET YOU? Fuck.
- I've also put her on Depakine.
- Alright.
To help her come down faster.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - Leave me alone! - Will you be okay? Uh Actually, I don't really know.
I, um, failed my exams.
Hmm? And, uh At first, I didn't say anything, because I thought it it would make her sad, because I thought that was worse.
And I'm afraid that's what set off this episode.
That's possible, yes.
But it could have been anything.
You can't know.
Yes, but it's my fault.
You can't stop living because your mother is ill, Apolline.
Right.
Right.
I'm sorry.
Nezir! Nezir, hey! - I'm coming! Hang on, hang on, hang on.
- Come on! Come on! Oh! I'LL STOP HARASSING YOU I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER It's strange, no? I don't know.
I took the second dose a half hour ago.
Let me see.
Are you scared? No.
A little.
You know, sometimes I tell myself that this child could have been extremely annoying.
- Can you imagine? - Hmm.
Autoimmune disease.
A pain in the ass.
For all we know, he could have become a selfie-stick maker, or - Oh! An influencer? - Weird.
No.
Or a stripper.
A weapons dealer.
- Forget it.
- Totally.
We just saved France.
- We did a good deed for sure.
- Mmm.
Is this it? Oh, I don't know.
Yeah.
Okay.
Um - Okay, lie down.
Lie down.
- Oh fuck.
It's gonna be fine.
It's okay.
When I was little, I was called "the Chink", or "Jap", but never "Viet", and I couldn't complain about it.
But one day, I made the mistake of saying that Britain is a US state and people busted my balls for 45 minutes.
It's crazy how many stereotypes there are in Europe about Asians.
Like in school, at the start of the year, teachers were kind to me, like I was going to be top of the class.
And then they found out I was really at the bottom of the barrel.
And I could see the disappointment in their eyes, the pity.
At one point, it got so bad I thought, "Man, do I have leukemia and I'm the only one who doesn't know?" Hi, Apolline.
It's Nezir.
I was just calling to check in.
I hope you're alright.
And I'm performing at the Olympia in three days.
So, if you want tickets, let me know.
See you.
She's been ignoring me for ten days.
Honestly, I don't get it.
Maybe something happened with her mom, but that's no reason to stop talking to me, right? I don't get it.
What's the matter? You okay? Is it your abortion? It hurts? No, no, no.
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
I'm fine.
It's just my hormones are crashing down, so I I just feel like crying all the time, you know? No, no.
Don't worry.
I'm fine.
I'm not sad.
I'm not sad.
I'm not sad.
- Okay.
- This is ridiculous.
I'm Bling.
Don't you worry.
I'm here.
Ahh! My friends! Bling was so good tonight.
You guys worked really hard.
- Thanks.
Thanks.
It's cool.
- No, well done.
Well done.
You gave him a huge amount of material, you know? He's steady.
He's poised.
He's doing well, you know? - Well, that Bling is full of surprises.
- Yeah.
However, uh it's getting complicated about you opening at the Olympia.
How so? Tifflot made a phone call to the director of the Olympia.
It's a lie! It's not.
Come on, Aïssa, it's The guy's getting shot down in flames on social media.
What did you think he was gonna do? He put the pressure on and, honestly, I don't agree with it, but I mean, put yourself in my shoes.
Um - Hang on.
- I'm stuck.
So what exactly - I'm not on anymore? - What? That's out of the question.
Laurent, you listen to me.
It's simple.
He doesn't perform, I don't perform.
Okay, so give me the Olympia director's number, - or I'll find a way to get it.
- No, I'm not I'm not giving you any number, Aïssa.
- Never react when you're heated.
- It's okay.
 Aïssa, stop.
- What do you mean "Aïssa stop"? - It's over.
Stop it.
So we roll over and don't say anything? What is this? Who's going to be the handsomest guy at the Olympia, inshallah? You don't like it? What's wrong? Maybe it's too much.
Ah! My son, let me tell you something.
Tifflot.
I've been watching his show for five years, every Saturday.
Well, he hasn't made me laugh a single time.
Not once.
But you still watch him every Saturday.
Yes.
But I've never laughed.
Like, "I love mushroom pizza, but without the mushrooms.
" Now that's funny.
Hey.
Hey! Who's going to the Olympia? It's like going to the Olympics.
- You need to run, you need to train.
- Yeah.
Actually, I was thinking for the opening act, we should think about it a little.
- And I was thinking - No, Laurent.
I don't want to talk about it.
I'm already too upset.
Yes, sure.
I get it.
But still, we can't drag it out.
And I figured we do need someone who's, you know, used to large venues, someone who's good at warming up the crowd, getting the audience going, who can set the right atmosphere, uh - Oh no.
- Oh yes.
- No, Laurent.
No.
No, no, no.
- Yes.
He's really good these days.
And when that guy is good, he's a machine, alright? No, no.
Come on, Laurent.
It's too risky.
Did you see how much good working with Nezir did him? He's great, and also it's super cute.
Listen, five years ago, you opened for him.
And now it's his turn.
Did you already talk to him? I put out some feelers.
- But nothing's been decided.
- Oh man! - Oh! - Aïssa, you're a queen! - I feel awful for Nezir.
- Yeah.
But I'm really I'm super touched.
Thank you! - Mmm! - Come on.
Ah, shit! Yeah, it's me again.
Um, I was passing by your neighborhood, so so I figured, well I wanted to know how you were.
That's all.
Lots of love.
UNKNOWN CALLER - Hello? - It's Abbas.
On the app, I see you made another detour on Bonaparte Street for a delivery in the 17th district.
- Yes, Abbas.
I know.
I got lost.
- Again? - Unbelievable.
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's sushi.
They don't get cold.
No worries.
- Okay, then hurry up.
- Okay, I'm going.
Thanks, Um, yes, it's me.
I'm sorry.
 I wanted to call you sooner, but I couldn't.
I don't even know what to say.
It's just too complicated for me right now.
I've been taking care of my mother a lot, and, um, I can't make room for anything else.
So it's better if we stop seeing each other.
I hope you're okay.
Lots of love.
Okay.
Are you ready? Make sure you tell them that you regret it.
That you want to finish your studies, it's very important to you, and that you're expected in London for your internship.
And if the mood strikes you, don't hold back your emotions.
It can't hurt.
Alright? Alright.
Well, wait until we're inside.
Bravo! Hey, Jean-Baptiste, seriously, you're a genius! So, I just wanted to say something because, after all, this place exists thanks to Dad.
So, there, thank you, Dad, for having come here, opening the restaurant 25 years ago.
And, uh Okay, I wanted to say something funny, but it's not gonna work.
So, um Uh, so there, thank you, Dad, for coming here.
And happy birthday.
You okay? Yeah.
I'm having a blast.
I'm off.
- See you tomorrow at the Olympia? - Yeah.
Thanks, bro.
You really helped me, when you You could've See you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.
Bling! - Want a drink? - No, I'm sorry.
I can't.
- What do you mean you can't? - Come on! - Come on! - One drink.
Just one.
- I'm playing the Olympia tomorrow.
- Come on! - Come on.
- It's fine.
You'll be in bed in an hour.
- Come on! - No, guys, I really can't.
If I don't get my eight hours of sleep Hey, guys, guys, guys.
One last drink, and we're off.
- Mommy's going to the Olympia.
- The Olympia! Alright, come on.
Oh! Oh no.
Gee, tonight's going to rock.
My eyes will be all puffy onstage.
At least I won't see anything.
Right? Can you imagine if I cry during the whole show.
Nonsense.
Yesterday, for instance, I took a client to boulevard Haussmann.
I dropped her off, but I couldn't leave, there was no room to pass.
So I headed for Malesberbes.
I figured, from Malesberbes, I could head for the Opéra.
You know? Well, no.
I was stuck on Malesberbes.
THE OLYMPIA Whoo! - Hey, hi.
Where are we? - Hello.
The Baconnets.
Between Fontaine-Michalon and Massy-Verrières.
How do I get back to Paris? Train B.
But I wouldn't count on it today.
There's a transit strike.
And you wouldn't find any taxis either.
It's really not a good day to go to Paris.
- Seriously, where are we? - Well The Baconnets.
- Mom, do you have a charger? - I'm already tipsy.
- She started early.
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
- Do you have a charger? - No, sorry.
Any word from Bling? Yeah, I'm in the boonies.
Don't worry.
I'm on my way.
Are you kidding me? Don't start panicking.
I told you, I'm coming.
I'm close by.
What's "close by"? Where's "close by"? I have to admit, nothing around here looks familiar.
- Where's Bling? I'll kill him.
- But I think I'm in Paris.
I'm gonna kill him.
Hey, tell him to calm down.
He's so annoying, stressing everyone out.
- Where are you? - Not far away.
Bling, you're supposed to go onstage in an hour.
I told you, I'll be there.
With time to spare.
Fuck! - Bling? What is it? - Fuck.
Bling! Hurry the fuck up! Son of a bitch! Come on, move it! - Bling, it's been 30 minutes.
- Yo! Move! - Where are you? - I was actually really far away! But it's okay now, I found a scooter and Come on, move! Hurry up! I'm really close.
Trust me a little.
I can see the Olympia! For real? You're here? - Come on, step on it! - Don't stress me out.
The audience is coming in.
We can't delay your set.
Step on it! Don't pressure me! I'm on the wrong side.
Shit! - Fuck, fuck.
- Hey, Bling, could you hear me? Nezir, this looks bad.
- This looks bad, bro.
- Hello, sir.
- Please turn off the engine.
- Bling, above all, stay calm.
- Step down from the vehicle.
- ID.
- I don't have anything on me - ID.
- Do what he says! Do what he says! - See the one-way sign? I'm performing at the Olympia in five minutes, sir.
Please.
Bling, stay out of trouble.
I'll come get you.
Where are you? - Have you taken any drugs? - Step down from the vehicle.
- Are you listening? - Stay calm.
- Sir, stay calm.
- I'm late! I'm telling you - I need to be onstage.
- Calm down, now.
The audience is waiting! My name's on the billboard! We're taking a trip to the station.
- Don't touch me.
Fuck! - Stop it! Okay, he's on.
- Huh? - Nezir, you're performing tonight.
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
- I'm telling you, you are.
- Just like that? - Yes.
You're on.
- But I'm totally unprepared.
- Nezir.
- You're ready.
- Laurent.
- We're going to be in deep shit, Aïssa.
- No, we're not going to be in deep shit - because Nezir is gonna go onstage - This is crazy.
and he's gonna do what he does best.
- Which is stand-up.
- Just Just I I hadn't planned on going on, I just No, guys.
the performance is about to begin.
We ask you to please turn off your phones during the entire duration of the show.
Thank you.
Good evening, Olympia.
Hi! - You're okay? - Yeah.
So, um Wow.
Thanks.
So, my name is Nezir.
And, uh, I'm the opening act.
I I know, um, you didn't come here tonight to see me.
That's the point of an opening act.
But it just so happens that I didn't come here to see you guys either.
I don't want to scare you, but basically, I'm substituting for the guy who was supposed to open.
Bling! Bling.
That's right, exactly.
He couldn't make it.
It's crazy, because I always said I would kill to perform at the Olympia some day.
And that's it.
I did it.
No, for real, I was just backstage, over there, just passing by.
Um, I didn't ask for anything, and they shoved me onstage.
It was either me or Jean-Marc, the lighting engineer.
And, honestly, he's very funny.
So if, at any time, I really can't make you laugh, he can take my place.
You could just go, "Jean-Marc.
Jean-Marc.
" Jean-Marc! Jean-Marc! Jean-Marc! And he'll probably come over.
But, please, at least give me a chance.
I'm gonna do something that's a little unusual, but actually, let me explain.
My father is like you.
He didn't know I'd be here tonight.
And if he finds out I played at the Olympia and I didn't invite him, I'll be disinherited.
And this guy is filthy rich, so I'm going to call him.
- Hello? - Hi, Dad.
I was watching Top Chef, but I fell asleep.
That show is too long.
I like it, but it's long.
It was about carrots.
They're really talented.
I'm hungry now.
I want carrots, but we don't have any! Dad, Dad, I'm sorry, two seconds.
I'm just calling to tell you I'm I'm playing at the Olympia.
The Olympia? What Olympia? The Olympia.
There There's only one.
Guys, help me out here.
This isn't a joke? No, no, it's not a joke.
People can hear you, Dad.
Good evening.
That's all, Dad.
It was just Good evening, Olympia! Okay, Dad.
Okay.
Thanks a lot.
Okay, Dad, thanks.
So I'm gonna have to hang up now.
Unless you guys wanna keep discussing Top Chef? Okay, so, talk later, Dad.
Thanks.
Oh man, my father.
I love my father.
I live alone with him.
As a roommate, he totally sucks.
- Onstage in ten minutes.
- Thank you.
No, this is going too fast! I can't! Six months ago, I was playing in front of 15 people.
You're going to do it.
You're going to do it.
Otherwise, you'd never forgive yourself.
And what about you? Will you forgive me? Aïssa I love you.
I'll never leave you.
I love you too, Vlad.
I love you so much.
That's all.
Thank you very much.
I'm Nezir.
And now I'm gonna give the stage to Jean-Marc, the lighting engineer.
No, more seriously.
Let's bring down the house for the great, the genius, Aïssatou, please! Thank you very much, Olympia! Thank you.
How are you guys? Good evening, Olympia! Good evening.
How are you? And please make all the noise for my opening act, Nezir! More! More, more, more! Okay, well, at least I got my first two sentences right.
Only 1000 more to go.
I really enjoyed it.
I really liked that That Ukrainian soprano.
- Was she Ukrainian? - Yes, I think so.
I thought she was from Vienna.
- Oh? - Yes, Vienna.
And what did you think of the staging? I didn't care for it.
I thought it was redundant.
Didn't you? Really? - Well, as any - It doesn't matter.
- They're very close.
- Oh my God.
She was really good though.
- I liked the second act best.
- Oh? What about you, Apolline? Did you enjoy it? My daughter.
I am so proud of you.
We booked a table.
Are you coming? Hmm? I'm coming.
- I appreciate it, thanks.
- Congratulations, guys.
Shall we go? You know, Apolline, you're very lucky.
This year's opera programming in London is remarkable.
You're in for a treat.
It's wonderful that you're finally spending one entire year in London.
Yes, and she won't feel homesick.
Christie's is in partnership with many operas and museums.
Oh, this is more than wonderful.
It's extraordinary.
 And she's so curious and she loves discovering new things.
- Are you okay? - Huh? Yes.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
- It's very important.
- I agree.
Are you checking for spelling mistakes? No, but I'm not leaving.
I'm staying.
If anyone comes to change a thing, I'll kick their ass.
Come on.
I was so stressed out.
I didn't see a thing, not even the people in the room.
 A total black hole.
That's because there were no people in the room.
There was only your mother way in the back.
She loved it.
Nezir!