Stumptown (2019) s01e06 Episode Script
Dex, Drugs and Rock & Roll
1 - Previously on "Stumptown" - Aah! I got a job for you.
It's a missing-persons case.
- Who? - Grey.
GREY: Are you done shaking your ass? 'Cause apparently, I got a job to do, and I'd like to do it.
Grey called.
He wants me to take you to him.
DEX: Where's Ansel? Why don't you wait for me in the car? I'm just gonna have a little conversation with Frank.
Ohh! You put Ansel in danger.
Everything that I did was to protect him.
Grey, I don't know who you are anymore.
I'm sorry.
Miss Parios.
Congratulations.
You're officially a licensed private investigator.
[LAUGHS.]
ANSEL: Make a wish.
[BLOWS.]
Ohh, ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh Ohh, ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh 'Cause it's star time - Star time - Here you go.
Ohh, ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh Ohh, ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh 'Cause it's star time You know, I gotta admit, I was nervous about coming to a punk show, but then I just saw my dentist.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, thank you for stepping out of your comfort zone and into my, uh, natural habitat.
- So, these are your people, huh? - These are my people.
And, hey, um, thank you for letting Grey off the hook.
I really appreciate that.
Look, you, um you vouched for him.
You obviously have good taste.
[CHUCKLES.]
I-I just thought, after all the craziness, we we owe it to ourselves to to let loose, - you know, blow off some steam.
- Yeah.
Let's get in that mosh pit.
No, no, I-I don't mosh.
Oh, come on.
100 sweaty people slamming up against each other, getting that aggression out.
Doesn't that sound like fun? Yeah, if riots are fun, yeah.
You know, I wasn't even sure you were gonna come tonight.
Well, honestly, I thought there was a strong likelihood of sex after, so Well, you are correct, sir.
Star time [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
I see you, Portland.
It's good to be home.
Three nights in Stumptown? Anything can happen.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
This song is dedicated to the one who got away.
[CHEERING CONTINUES.]
I'm talking about you, Dex.
One, two, one, two, three, four! HOFFMAN: As a matter of curiosity, how long were you and Fiona X together? Um, five, six months.
Cheers.
Thank you.
- [GLASSES CLINK.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
Um, yeah, she got signed and she went off on tour and I have not seen her since, until tonight.
And when was this? Mm, 10 years ago, Pre-X, back when she was, uh, Finklebocker.
Fiona Fin Fiona Finklebocker is her real name.
- That's terrible.
- It's pretty bad.
- Oh, man.
- [LAUGHS.]
- X is much better.
- It is.
Yeah, I'd I'd just gotten back home, and I was I was trying to get out of my head and I was going out a lot.
And that's when I met Fee.
It was a lot of fun.
Listen, I-I appreciate you helping me get out of my head tonight.
Been through a lot, and I needed that.
- So, thank you.
- Of course.
Punk is not my scene.
- No, it is not.
- No.
But I'd love to show you my world.
Let's do something Friday.
Uh, you mean like go to a jazz concert? Bowling.
- You bowl? - Yeah.
10 pins, one ball, stale beer, disco fries.
- Super sexy, all of that.
- I know.
Do you wear the shoes that they make you rent? I got my own shoes, Dex.
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Yes to Friday.
I can do that, but, um, if you want to get lucky tonight, uh, let's stop talking about bowling.
Done.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS.]
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO.]
So, how was the show? Interesting.
That's it? Just interesting? Kind of sums it up, yeah.
Sums it up.
What'd Hoffman think of it? Wasn't really his thing.
He's more of a jazz guy.
Dex, how long we gonna do this? Do what? I mean, I'm obviously trying to make amends here.
And, uh, I'm trying to forgive you.
But? But since everything I thought I knew about you is a lie, I-I don't know who to forgive.
So we're gonna do this for a while, then.
You know what, Grey? I think that we are this from now on.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Hey, isn't that, uh [PEOPLE MURMURING.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wow.
You look great.
Uh, you Uh, you look great.
Well, I got a team of people working on that, so [CHUCKLES.]
Um, this is my manager.
Nick Tallarico.
I've heard a lot about you.
Really? Uh, how'd you find me? Well, I saw you in the crowd last night, asked a couple of friends, and six degrees of Dex, right? Well, you you you found me.
Uh [CHUCKLES.]
what what are you doing here? Fiona would like to hire you.
Hire me? For what? I'm being stalked.
Oh.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
I first saw him in Phoenix at the hotel, and then he started showing up to different shows, different cities.
And I think I saw him last night.
How long has this been going on? Like a few months.
Okay.
Uh, have you gone to the cops? Yeah, but tell them what? I can never get a good look at him.
It was just a glimpse, and then he would evaporate like a ghost.
Anyway, I'm in town for three nights, and I just feel like I need protection.
Fiona, you have protection.
She has a bodyguard.
She has a lot of bodyguards.
Well, I-I have rotating security, but I can barely get their names straight.
And I just need someone I can trust, like really trust.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll, uh, help.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Sorry.
Uh, it's time.
Nick will fill you in more.
- Thanks, Dex.
- Yeah.
It's really great to see you.
'Cause I can't g-g-g-get enough [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
Tomato residue on the cabinets, here.
Actually, that's tomatillo.
Either way.
[HAND SLAMS.]
Well, you've got some permit violations to deal with here.
What violations? They'll be listed in the report.
What are you saying? As soon as they're addressed and signed off on, you can reopen.
You're shutting me down? This truck is not operational.
This truck works fine.
This truck put two kids through community college.
There's a line in front of this truck most days.
I don't make the rules, sir.
What? [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO.]
Dex is mad.
Yeah, she sure is, pal.
You messed up.
I know I did, and I'm sorry about that.
Hey, are you still mad at me? I forgive you.
Thanks, buddy.
And hopefully your sister will, too, soon, okay? But what if she doesn't? LIZ: All right, pub crawlers.
We have been to some paranormal bars today, but this? This is the most haunted bar on our list.
Hi.
Hi.
What's all this? This, I'm thrilled to tell you, is a tour of Portland's haunted bars.
Oh, well, this place is not haunted.
- I'm sorry.
- It practically just opened.
Ah, but 50 years ago, this was a cannery.
A fishmonger, Dunk Hendry, was tragically killed in a sluicing accident.
Boom.
Haunted.
[CHUCKLING.]
That's insane.
You can't tell these people that.
- I just did.
- Well, it's a lie.
Okay.
I just brought you a dozen lushes.
They're gonna drink themselves silly until they feel a "cold static.
" But if you want to tell them I'm wrong, you might as well just tell them to leave 'cause that's what they'll do.
- Sluicing? - Mm-hmm.
All right, sluicing accident it is.
One question.
What the hell is sluicing? [BOTH LAUGH.]
- I'm Grey.
- Hi, Grey.
I'm Liz.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE, PUNK ROCK MUSIC PLAYS.]
Pretty hurt, you're fine Did me wrong when you blew my mind Like a witch, like a charm Cast a spell so I'd be blind You took control of me But, baby, now I can see No more games, no more lies I see you clear with both my eyes I'm not a doll for you to play with Time to fight back and make you pay I don't want to know You can say what you want to say Stones can break my bones This love can't take me down Going all alone [DISTORTED SINGING.]
[GUNFIRE, EXPLOSIONS.]
[CROWD CHEERS.]
All the tears, all the pain All the nights I cried in vain You had your fun at my expense [JET ENGINE ROARS.]
[EXPLOSION.]
I can see - [GUNSHOT.]
- No more games, no more lies I see you clear with both my eyes I'm no doll for you - [MUSIC STOPS.]
- MAN: Hey! Somebody get security! Get her off the stage.
Get her off the stage.
Go.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
What the hell, lady? What are you doing? I was just trying to grab a selfie.
[LIGHTS CLACK, CROWD GROANS.]
MAN: Come on! MAN ON P.
A.
: Your attention, please.
In an orderly fashion, please exit the hall.
NICK: Hey.
You just cost me 50 grand to reschedule this show, not to mention the settlement for the lawsuit this nitwit's gonna file.
Fiona was scared, okay? And in fairness to me, that guy was super sketchy.
Fiona has an active imagination - Mm-hmm.
- which has served her well.
All the songs she's demo'd so far off her new album have to do with oppression and confinement.
Being convinced she has a stalker after her helps with that.
You understand what I'm saying? That she's creating her own reality? She doesn't need a bodyguard.
She needs a buddy, a shoulder to bitch and moan on, someone to score her a joint after the show.
There's no stalker.
Just play along, and don't body-slam anyone again.
Please.
Hey.
What about my selfie, huh? Yeah.
Got it.
Nick, leave her alone.
You in A.
A.
now or anything? No.
Great.
Let's drink.
Caught that jewelry store robbery.
The son did it.
What? I haven't even looked at Security cameras went out at the exact time of the robbery, right? I guarantee you the kid's got some sort of drug habit or gambling addiction, whatever.
He needed quick cash.
He knows where his old man keeps it.
Thanks for screwing me out of any overtime working the case.
Geez.
Hey, you okay? I know this whole Kane thing is pretty intense, so if you needed an ear - I'm good.
Thanks.
- Okay.
Actually, um [CLEARS THROAT.]
I need a female perspective on something.
Lady troubles.
Get at me.
So, um, I just can't tell if she's playing games or or what.
The P.
I.
? Yeah.
Miles, I could set you up with someone who would completely take care of you in every way and wouldn't play any games.
Anyways.
It's like It's like I put it out there to her, and I don't know if I'm feeling something or am I just looking at it as a challenge.
And how did you "put it out there"? Like, the words exactly.
Or maybe you didn't.
- May Maybe I didn't.
- Mm.
Look, I know you've got badge bunnies and whoever else falling all over you, so this may come as a shock, but some women you got to let 'em know how you feel.
No maybes.
Just say the words.
- Say the words.
- Mm-hmm.
Thanks for meeting me, Lieutenant.
So, you are a friend of Dex Parios? I am.
Wow.
There's a full-time job.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- She's, uh, misunderstood, to a large degree.
You said that you had a tip, Mr Alvarez? My friends call me Tookie.
I am not your friend.
Fair enough.
I may have misspoke on the phone in that I don't have a tip, per se.
I have these permit problems I'd appreciate some help with.
Permit problems? Sign permits, grease permits, propane, vending.
- The city shut me down.
- Listen.
Food service really is not within my purview, so Your name's at the top of the directory, and my mom always said, "Go to the boss.
" Did she? I'm a law-abiding, tax-paying, born-and-raised proud son of Portland, and I need your help, Lieutenant.
Please have a seat.
You, uh, cook Mexican food, I take it? No, ma'am.
Cuisine, not food.
And I'm a chef, not a cook.
You know, 25 years ago, or "ish," I moved here from Philly, and I had the best mole sauce I had ever tasted in my life.
What was the name of that restaurant? Arturo's.
That was my mole.
- No.
- Yes! [CHUCKLING.]
What? I started as a sous chef there.
Job well done.
[CHUCKLES.]
Actually, it's a sore subject.
Oh.
I'm I'm sorry.
I worked day and night on that mole.
People started coming from miles around.
One day, I go into the restaurant, and there it is on the menu - "Arturo's famous mole.
" - Wait.
Don't tell me he took credit for your recipe.
Took the credit, took the recipe, took a chunk of my heart, if I'm being honest.
I walked out, and I swore never to make mole again.
[SMOOCHES.]
You know, that is a shame for all of us.
The taco trade it ain't for kittens, Lieutenant.
Let me see what I can do about this permit.
Okay? Uh, maybe I can get you an extension.
Can't promise.
I'd be eternally grateful.
Thank you.
[LOCK BEEPS.]
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE.]
You've come a long way, Fee.
Yeah, step up from the Rabbit Hole Motel in Winnemucca.
Do you remember that dump? Yeah.
That was a fun road trip.
- Yeah.
- [BOTTLE CAP CLATTERS.]
- Thanks.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
So, I'm gonna need, uh, a list of anyone who has backstage access.
But if you're bodyguarding me Is that a verb "bodyguarding"? [CHUCKLES.]
I-I don't know.
Um, I-I'm not technically a-a bodyguard.
That's a That's a different license.
I have a similar one, but Right.
Well, if you're by my side the whole time, do you really need all that stuff? Well, it wouldn't hurt.
Something to burn inside So, um, who was that guy I saw you with at the show? - Uh, Hoffman.
- That's his name? It It's his last name.
He's a cop.
They They love last names for some reason.
Are you and this cop, like, a thing? I don't I don't think so.
Do you want you and the cop to be a thing? [CHUCKLES.]
I-I don't know what I want.
Mm.
So I still have a chance.
In a new light In a new light What else can you tell me about this stalker? Well, what if there isn't a stalker? What if this is just some elaborate scheme to get you alone in my hotel room? Would you run out of here? I guess that I'm begging for you [CHUCKLES.]
To understand it's complicated when No.
They're left in the dark That warms my heart.
I never wanted to hurt you But there is a stalker, so I'm gonna have to have 24-hour protection until we get up to, um I actually don't even know where I'm going.
I just go where Nick tells me to go.
But, uh, I can get you the adjoining room.
- Cool? - Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Uh, I just have to get my brother situated first.
Ansel.
How's he doing? You remember him.
Uh-huh.
He's great.
Light of my life.
I'm just gonna make a quick call.
[CELLPHONE CLICKS, BEEPS.]
[RINGING.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Listen, it's taking a little bit longer than I thought.
I wondered if you could keep an eye on Ansel for me.
So now you trust me with him, I take it? You know what? I-I'm sorry I said that.
That was cheap and stupid.
Of course I got him.
Okay.
Hey, I got to go.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS, DOOR CLOSES.]
- Hey.
- Hi.
How is everything here? Great.
We're killing it.
We're killing it so hard that it's well, it's dead.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Ta-da.
This is it.
What brings you back? Um, you know, I had this whole cover story about a flat tire, but it feels very elaborate now, so I might as well just tell you I came back 'cause I wanted to see you again.
Well, I'm really glad you did.
Yeah? Yeah.
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
Sorry.
Give me a sec, okay? Yeah.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
I should have known better - Mm.
- Ah.
A P.
I.
That is so badass.
Well, it pays the bills.
Or it's it's, um it's starting to, anyway.
It suits you.
Are you happy? As much as anyone, I guess.
Is this where you thought you'd be? [INHALES SHARPLY.]
No.
Um, but it's where I have to be.
Do you ever regret not coming on the road? Be honest.
I never trust my feelings I mean, sometimes.
I see you on TV, or I, um, hear your song on the radio.
Well, when we were together, you were talking about getting your degree in psychology.
I was? Yeah.
You don't remember? No.
I mean, um, when we were together, I had just gotten back home.
It was all I could do to just put one foot in front of the other.
Oh, be my rest You know what I do remember? A couple nights, you would wake up screaming.
And you'd be covered in sweat.
And you would squeeze my hand.
I'll never forget that.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
I'm light as a feather I'm bright as the Oregon breeze This was just dropped off.
Great.
Thank you.
Frightened by my feelings I only wanna be a relief What is it? That's this room, Fee.
He's getting closer.
Hey.
Thanks so much for helping out.
Of course.
This way.
I'll see you when you're done.
- Okay? - Okay.
What am I paying you for? Um, to be awesome.
Dex must trust you.
She let me come in here alone.
Mm.
What's not to trust? I'm a cop.
The stalker could be a cop.
[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Sorry about that.
Um, can you think back through all your fan interactions? And I know there have been plenty.
It's possible that you may have met this person - and not known it.
- Oh.
"Double Fantasy.
" Double what? "Double Fantasy"? The John Lennon record a fan asked him to sign before shooting him.
Does anyone come to mind? Look, most interaction happens on social media these days.
It's all fans who love me so much they want to kill me or people who hate me so much they also want to kill me.
[CHUCKLES.]
Do you mind if we analyze your social media? Yeah.
Be my guest.
There's like six more phones where that came from.
"You are safe.
" Do you have any idea what he meant by that? None.
So, um what the story with you and Dex? Let's just stick to this story.
You've never met anyone like her, have you? We're trying to protect you here.
Oh, and I'm trying to protect you, Detective.
Be careful.
"Be careful"? Women like Dex and me, you'd spend your whole life trying to figure us out.
Okay.
So, look, I'm gonna get this analyzed, and, uh, maybe we'll single someone out.
Oh, um, I wouldn't go scrolling through those photos.
Not safe for work.
Mr.
Alvarez.
[CONTAINER THUDS.]
What is this? A thank-you gift.
They gave me an extension on my permits.
A gift is a bribe in this line of work.
Then consider this a gesture to a fellow appreciator of the finer tastes in life.
Is this Chicken tacos with my signature mole.
I brought it back from los muertos.
That's "dead" in Spanish.
All right.
Here goes.
Amazing.
[CHUCKLES.]
As good as you remember? - It's better! - Ha! Mmm! It's so funny how a taste can just bring you back.
I'd just moved here.
I met my husband.
A lot of good memories.
Thank you.
Thank you, Lieutenant.
Any time you get a craving, you know where to find me.
If not, Instagram does.
- [CHUCKLING.]
Okay.
- Enjoy.
[LOCK BEEPS.]
[SIGHS.]
I really think that we should change your room.
FIONA: Yeah, but why bother? He's just gonna find me again anyway.
Besides, when I'm with you, I feel safe.
Did Hoffman tell you how long it was gonna take to get the info off your phone? No, but he seems competent.
Competent.
Yes.
He is that.
["ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER" PLAYS ON PIANO.]
You see dimensions in two State your case in black or white But when one little cross leads to shots You grit your teeth, run for cover, so discreet Why don't they do what they say? Say what you mean One thing leads to another You told me something wrong I know I listen too long But then one thing leads to another [MUSIC STOPS.]
I-I can't.
I, uh, could lose my license.
Yeah, but who's gonna find out? ["ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER" PLAYS.]
But then one thing leads to another Leads to another Leads to another We scoured all of Fiona's social media, found some obsessive behavior in the comments, and then identified a similar language pattern between 70 or so messages.
- Same person? - Not on the surface.
All different user names.
But we looked into it, and many of the user names were authorized under a single e-mail address fionasangel22.
Tell me you got a name.
You think you can get me Fiona's autograph? No.
- It's for my s - No.
Martin Newtlander.
Addy puts him at a motel in Centennial.
- Good work.
- Mm-hmm.
[RADIO CHATTER.]
Portland Police Bureau.
Open up.
[CLATTERING, GLASS BREAKING.]
[DOOR SLAMS OPEN.]
Stop! Go! Go! Go! [DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
[FLASHLIGHT CLICKS.]
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE.]
[GUN CLICKS.]
So, this is what being on tour is like.
Hmm? Fancy hotel rooms, a different groupie in your bed each night.
Dex Parios, you are the furthest thing from a groupie.
I don't know.
[SIGHS.]
I dropped my pants pretty fast for a Fixx cover song.
[CHUCKLES.]
Mm.
This could have been us, you know, traveling the world together.
[CELLPHONE RINGS, VIBRATES.]
Ah, I got to get this.
[KEYPAD BEEPS.]
Hey.
Uh, no.
No, no, no.
Now's good.
What's up? We got an I.
D.
on your stalker guy.
His name's Martin Newtlander, and he's got priors in Florida.
Let me guess um, white, doughy, and super not married? Amazing guess.
- I'm texting you his mug shot now.
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
[CELLPHONE CHIMES, VIBRATES.]
Oh, there he is.
So, I tracked him to his motel in East Portland, but, uh, he slipped away.
Keep an eye out on this guy, Dex.
He's definitely gunning for Fiona, and he's wrong 10 different ways.
Okay.
Thanks.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Is everything okay? [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Uh, yeah, everything's fine.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS, CLICKS.]
COSGROVE: Mr.
Alvarez? Lieutenant.
Is there a problem? I thought all the permit stuff was ironed out.
This time, I need a favor.
Your expert opinion, actually.
Okay.
What's this? Well, I am a bit of a chef myself.
A cook, actually.
I dabble, and I just was hoping you would tell me what you think.
You want me to try your cooking? What is it? It's a Philly delicacy.
It's a cheesesteak egg roll.
Of course I added my own little zhuzh.
Cheesesteak egg roll? I have to be honest.
I'm skeptical.
There's a lot of competing themes here.
Well, why don't you try it first before you lift your leg on it? Fair.
Fair.
Crunchy.
Juicy.
Cheesy.
It's excellent.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're You're just saying that.
When I tell people the water at the hand-washing station is potable, I'm just saying it.
With food, I never lie.
Well, I'm just experimenting What about a cheesesteak egg roll flauta? I know what you're thinking.
Flauta it's a hat on a hat.
But when I get an inspiration, I have to run with it.
Can I play with this a little? - Really? - Truly.
Be my guest.
get higher Just another, just another wolf cryer Tell the world, let 'em know you think you're dyin' Well, it's thinning out.
What are you doing after we close? Well, it's a full moon, so I might squeeze in some shape-shifting.
Maybe a little vampirism? - [LAUGHS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
If time permits.
If it kills you You ever hear of radical honesty? What's the difference between that and regular honesty? It's like honesty on steroids.
- Mm.
- The theory is, revealing your deepest secrets allows for an intimacy that wouldn't be possible if you're hiding things.
You know we just met, right? [LAUGHS.]
Look, if you want to keep things on the surface, it's fine.
But if you want something more, I'm gonna need to see you have the balls.
All the truth, all the truth, it just leaves you dry Never cared My mom left when I was 6 years old.
I'm sorry.
I'm not.
She wasn't strong enough to save herself.
And if you ever met my father, you'd understand.
Is this too honest? Actually never done this before, so [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
My father was a crook, but he was low-rent.
He was a hell of a teacher, though.
By high school, I was making bank stealing cars.
But grand theft is a gateway crime, and by 18, I was a boxman, and there was not a safe I couldn't get into.
I did a few stints in prison and met some pretty bad dudes.
And that's actually how I got the money for this bar.
Tell me what you're thinking, and be radically honest.
My place or yours? Well, I live right upstairs.
You do? [SILVERWARE CLATTERS.]
I don't mean to speak out of turn, but I'm beginning to sense a pattern.
Me too.
One second.
Okay.
I can't wait for you to see rehearsal today.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Yeah.
Me too.
I'm excited.
I'm trying something new, so I want to know what you think.
Okay.
- Hey, uh, get in the elevator.
- What? - Push the emergency button.
- What's go [ELEVATOR ALARM BEEPING.]
DEX: Hey.
[METAL SCRAPES.]
- Feel that? - Mm-hmm.
I'm your worst nightmare.
All right.
Easy, man, okay? I protect her.
Right, Fiona?! Thank goodness you do.
There's a lot of crazies out there, right? Dex? [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
That woman punched me in the face.
You tried to stab her.
I didn't have a choice.
I-I had to protect Fiona X to save her.
From what, exactly? $80 room service? I protect Fiona, like she asked me to.
Mr.
Newtlander, you are facing very serious charges.
Now, my advice is that you start getting honest.
I'm telling you the truth! Fiona and I are friends! She asked me to help her in her letters.
Go to my motel room.
Look Look under the mattress.
You'll see.
Hey.
Done and dusted? Yeah.
He's claiming Fiona wanted his protection.
Let me walk you out.
That's crazy town.
Yeah.
So, charges are gonna be filed, and, uh, we'll go through the motel room one more time, and, uh, I'll keep you posted.
- Okay.
- All right? - Well, thank you.
- All right.
- Hey, Dex.
- Mm-hmm? I, uh I've been thinking.
About what? Friday.
Friday? You know what? You got a lot going on.
So don't worry about it.
- Okay.
- All right.
My famous morning-after eggs.
Wait.
How famous? Well, after a few hundred thousand served, I lost count.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
How are they? So good.
All right, flatter me all you want.
[CHUCKLING.]
You're not leaving in my favorite shirt.
That shirt stays here.
Grey? Hey, pal, you're up early.
Why is she Why is she here? Maybe I should just No, no, no, you're fine.
You're staying.
Everything's fine, right, pal? [DOOR SLAMS.]
[LOCK ENGAGES.]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
My white knight.
- Mmm.
- I knew you'd be the one to save me.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Well, you know, Hoffman helped a lot.
I don't want to hear about him right now.
That was really something, what you did back there.
Mmm.
Come on.
Let's have some fun.
Oh.
Uh, no.
I'm I'm good.
- Thank you.
- [SNIFFS.]
Come on.
Come celebrate with me.
It's not really my thing anymore, Fee.
Oh, don't be a bore.
I'm only in town for one more night.
[SNIFFS.]
- [CELLPHONE RINGS, VIBRATES.]
- [SNORTS.]
Um, I got to take this.
Come on.
Open up.
Hey.
What happened? He came downstairs.
We were having breakfast.
Wait.
Who's [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
You You had somebody here while my brother was here? Her name is Liz.
It was all very PG.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I'm sorry.
I was just trying to be helpful.
Ah, well, leaving would be helpful.
- That'd be nice.
- Dex, that's my guest.
- Okay.
I'm gonna go.
- Please treat her with respect.
- Don't leave.
Please don't leave.
- I'll call you.
- Classy, man.
- Oh, you should talk.
I mean, what do you expect I'm gonna put my life on hold every time you want to get lucky? I'm sorry.
You're right.
I don't know why I called you after what you did.
- That was my mistake.
- How long are you gonna punish me - with the same stuff? - As long as I want to, okay? - You messed up, and I don't - I know Stop fighting.
All right, buddy, what's going on, huh? Are you leaving? - What? - Like Mom and Dad.
No.
Come on, pal.
I am not leaving.
But you're mad at him.
Yeah.
You know, people people fight, and they, uh, yell at each other.
But that doesn't mean they don't still care about each other.
Look, no matter how mad your sister gets, it's not gonna scare me away.
Nobody's going anywhere, okay? I promise.
[CELLPHONE CHIMES.]
Hold on.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
[SIGHS.]
Permanently, I mean.
You know, sometimes I have to go for my work.
It's okay, Dex.
I got it.
Thanks.
Okay.
I'll see you in a bit, all right? Okay.
Have a good day.
- Love you, buddy.
- Love you, too.
All right.
The silverware was a bit much.
- Yes.
- [CHUCKLES.]
"Meet me in Omaha on the 13th.
" "I'll be waiting for you in Chicago.
" "Come see me in Denver.
I miss you.
" You wrote this guy letters.
You turned this man into a stalker, reached out and stoked his obsession.
- Why would I do that? - Attention? Maybe you wanted to play the damsel in distress? [SCOFFS.]
Is that what you think of me? Postmarks on the letters line up - with your tour schedule.
Where were you last week, Fee? Um, I was in Tacoma.
[SNIFFLES.]
Wait.
No.
Hold on.
I was in Miami? Okay.
Where are you gonna be next week? Um I'm gonna be uh She doesn't know.
She doesn't know where she's playing night to night, let alone a month from now.
[SNIFFLES.]
There's no way she could have written these.
Is there anyone capable of forging your signature? No.
Fiona.
No.
He would never do that.
Open your eyes, Fee.
[SIGHS.]
[HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE.]
Detective, great.
I'm due at the venue.
Listen, from here on out the information download, phone calls will suffice.
This is more of a face-to-face kind of thing.
- You're under arrest.
- For what? - For stalking and conspiracy.
- [CHUCKLING.]
Me? But you caught the guy who was stalking her.
At your behest, which makes you an accessory to the crime.
- What? - You'll have plenty of time to get familiar with it.
Now turn your ass around.
[GRUNTS.]
Nice car.
[HANDCUFFS CLICK.]
It's a lease.
Well, Nick wanted to make you paranoid, right, to keep you reliant on him.
Yeah.
And it worked.
Was I always like this? You've always been very trusting.
Yeah, naive.
Pathetic for someone who's traveled the world seven times.
Oh, you've traveled all over the world, but things around you got a little bit small.
Hey, why don't you stay home for a while? No, I The tour dates are locked in.
It doesn't work like that.
Come with me.
Run my security.
It'll be so much fun.
It'll be an adventure, and I'll I'll take care of all the flights and I'll support you.
You're my muse.
I have a life here.
This P.
I.
thing? This is a life? Look, I know you regret bailing on that tour.
Do you really want more regret? [SMACKS LIPS.]
Yeah.
You know, you might be who you were 10 years ago, but I'm not.
Fine.
Thanks for everything.
[FOOD SIZZLING, INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
What is this? The special.
It's new.
Tacos a la Cosgrove? Are you kidding me? All right, here goes.
[CRUNCH.]
Sabrosa.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES.]
Eres muy amable.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
I'm so sorry.
They just found a body in the Willamette.
Oh, God.
- Can I please get this to go? - Yeah.
You know I'm married, right? [CHUCKLES.]
Me too.
Yeah.
So this is just a A collaboration.
Thanks, Tookie.
By all means, Lieutenant.
My friends they call me Bobby.
Is it unsettling being with me and not hearing glass shattering - [LAUGHING.]
- and doors slamming? [LAUGHS.]
Uh, I'm trying to get used to it.
Well, I'm sorry about that.
But he's a really, really sweet guy.
Yeah, who cares about you very much.
I can see why the thought of losing someone like you would be unsettling.
Well, that's about the nicest thing anyone's said about me in a long time.
His sister doesn't seem to like me much.
Dex'll come around.
And if she doesn't? Then that's her problem.
But to clarify, you and Dex are Just friends.
Okay.
- Okay? - Okay.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[BOWLING PINS CLATTER.]
Never went to college Leave your comments in the message box He walks like Elvis Presley Why do they have to make these things so ugly? So you don't take 'em home.
Ah.
Hi.
Hey.
So, I don't bowl well.
Scratch that.
I don't bowl at all.
Saying my name I have a talent for discretion Ball.
- [SIGHS.]
- Pins.
- Simple.
- All right.
As everybody's playing the game What's that? Hey, there, did you call me? Are you lonely? Wow.
Okay, wow.
That was terrible.
Why do you like this sport again? The form, the focus, but most importantly The beer? 'Cause that's No matter how bad you screw up, you always get a second chance.
[SIGHS.]
Okay.
I'm glad you came.
[BALL THUDS.]
- Oh! - Oh!
It's a missing-persons case.
- Who? - Grey.
GREY: Are you done shaking your ass? 'Cause apparently, I got a job to do, and I'd like to do it.
Grey called.
He wants me to take you to him.
DEX: Where's Ansel? Why don't you wait for me in the car? I'm just gonna have a little conversation with Frank.
Ohh! You put Ansel in danger.
Everything that I did was to protect him.
Grey, I don't know who you are anymore.
I'm sorry.
Miss Parios.
Congratulations.
You're officially a licensed private investigator.
[LAUGHS.]
ANSEL: Make a wish.
[BLOWS.]
Ohh, ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh Ohh, ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh 'Cause it's star time - Star time - Here you go.
Ohh, ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh Ohh, ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh 'Cause it's star time You know, I gotta admit, I was nervous about coming to a punk show, but then I just saw my dentist.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, thank you for stepping out of your comfort zone and into my, uh, natural habitat.
- So, these are your people, huh? - These are my people.
And, hey, um, thank you for letting Grey off the hook.
I really appreciate that.
Look, you, um you vouched for him.
You obviously have good taste.
[CHUCKLES.]
I-I just thought, after all the craziness, we we owe it to ourselves to to let loose, - you know, blow off some steam.
- Yeah.
Let's get in that mosh pit.
No, no, I-I don't mosh.
Oh, come on.
100 sweaty people slamming up against each other, getting that aggression out.
Doesn't that sound like fun? Yeah, if riots are fun, yeah.
You know, I wasn't even sure you were gonna come tonight.
Well, honestly, I thought there was a strong likelihood of sex after, so Well, you are correct, sir.
Star time [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
I see you, Portland.
It's good to be home.
Three nights in Stumptown? Anything can happen.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
This song is dedicated to the one who got away.
[CHEERING CONTINUES.]
I'm talking about you, Dex.
One, two, one, two, three, four! HOFFMAN: As a matter of curiosity, how long were you and Fiona X together? Um, five, six months.
Cheers.
Thank you.
- [GLASSES CLINK.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
Um, yeah, she got signed and she went off on tour and I have not seen her since, until tonight.
And when was this? Mm, 10 years ago, Pre-X, back when she was, uh, Finklebocker.
Fiona Fin Fiona Finklebocker is her real name.
- That's terrible.
- It's pretty bad.
- Oh, man.
- [LAUGHS.]
- X is much better.
- It is.
Yeah, I'd I'd just gotten back home, and I was I was trying to get out of my head and I was going out a lot.
And that's when I met Fee.
It was a lot of fun.
Listen, I-I appreciate you helping me get out of my head tonight.
Been through a lot, and I needed that.
- So, thank you.
- Of course.
Punk is not my scene.
- No, it is not.
- No.
But I'd love to show you my world.
Let's do something Friday.
Uh, you mean like go to a jazz concert? Bowling.
- You bowl? - Yeah.
10 pins, one ball, stale beer, disco fries.
- Super sexy, all of that.
- I know.
Do you wear the shoes that they make you rent? I got my own shoes, Dex.
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Yes to Friday.
I can do that, but, um, if you want to get lucky tonight, uh, let's stop talking about bowling.
Done.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS.]
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO.]
So, how was the show? Interesting.
That's it? Just interesting? Kind of sums it up, yeah.
Sums it up.
What'd Hoffman think of it? Wasn't really his thing.
He's more of a jazz guy.
Dex, how long we gonna do this? Do what? I mean, I'm obviously trying to make amends here.
And, uh, I'm trying to forgive you.
But? But since everything I thought I knew about you is a lie, I-I don't know who to forgive.
So we're gonna do this for a while, then.
You know what, Grey? I think that we are this from now on.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Hey, isn't that, uh [PEOPLE MURMURING.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wow.
You look great.
Uh, you Uh, you look great.
Well, I got a team of people working on that, so [CHUCKLES.]
Um, this is my manager.
Nick Tallarico.
I've heard a lot about you.
Really? Uh, how'd you find me? Well, I saw you in the crowd last night, asked a couple of friends, and six degrees of Dex, right? Well, you you you found me.
Uh [CHUCKLES.]
what what are you doing here? Fiona would like to hire you.
Hire me? For what? I'm being stalked.
Oh.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
I first saw him in Phoenix at the hotel, and then he started showing up to different shows, different cities.
And I think I saw him last night.
How long has this been going on? Like a few months.
Okay.
Uh, have you gone to the cops? Yeah, but tell them what? I can never get a good look at him.
It was just a glimpse, and then he would evaporate like a ghost.
Anyway, I'm in town for three nights, and I just feel like I need protection.
Fiona, you have protection.
She has a bodyguard.
She has a lot of bodyguards.
Well, I-I have rotating security, but I can barely get their names straight.
And I just need someone I can trust, like really trust.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll, uh, help.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Sorry.
Uh, it's time.
Nick will fill you in more.
- Thanks, Dex.
- Yeah.
It's really great to see you.
'Cause I can't g-g-g-get enough [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
Tomato residue on the cabinets, here.
Actually, that's tomatillo.
Either way.
[HAND SLAMS.]
Well, you've got some permit violations to deal with here.
What violations? They'll be listed in the report.
What are you saying? As soon as they're addressed and signed off on, you can reopen.
You're shutting me down? This truck is not operational.
This truck works fine.
This truck put two kids through community college.
There's a line in front of this truck most days.
I don't make the rules, sir.
What? [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO.]
Dex is mad.
Yeah, she sure is, pal.
You messed up.
I know I did, and I'm sorry about that.
Hey, are you still mad at me? I forgive you.
Thanks, buddy.
And hopefully your sister will, too, soon, okay? But what if she doesn't? LIZ: All right, pub crawlers.
We have been to some paranormal bars today, but this? This is the most haunted bar on our list.
Hi.
Hi.
What's all this? This, I'm thrilled to tell you, is a tour of Portland's haunted bars.
Oh, well, this place is not haunted.
- I'm sorry.
- It practically just opened.
Ah, but 50 years ago, this was a cannery.
A fishmonger, Dunk Hendry, was tragically killed in a sluicing accident.
Boom.
Haunted.
[CHUCKLING.]
That's insane.
You can't tell these people that.
- I just did.
- Well, it's a lie.
Okay.
I just brought you a dozen lushes.
They're gonna drink themselves silly until they feel a "cold static.
" But if you want to tell them I'm wrong, you might as well just tell them to leave 'cause that's what they'll do.
- Sluicing? - Mm-hmm.
All right, sluicing accident it is.
One question.
What the hell is sluicing? [BOTH LAUGH.]
- I'm Grey.
- Hi, Grey.
I'm Liz.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE, PUNK ROCK MUSIC PLAYS.]
Pretty hurt, you're fine Did me wrong when you blew my mind Like a witch, like a charm Cast a spell so I'd be blind You took control of me But, baby, now I can see No more games, no more lies I see you clear with both my eyes I'm not a doll for you to play with Time to fight back and make you pay I don't want to know You can say what you want to say Stones can break my bones This love can't take me down Going all alone [DISTORTED SINGING.]
[GUNFIRE, EXPLOSIONS.]
[CROWD CHEERS.]
All the tears, all the pain All the nights I cried in vain You had your fun at my expense [JET ENGINE ROARS.]
[EXPLOSION.]
I can see - [GUNSHOT.]
- No more games, no more lies I see you clear with both my eyes I'm no doll for you - [MUSIC STOPS.]
- MAN: Hey! Somebody get security! Get her off the stage.
Get her off the stage.
Go.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
What the hell, lady? What are you doing? I was just trying to grab a selfie.
[LIGHTS CLACK, CROWD GROANS.]
MAN: Come on! MAN ON P.
A.
: Your attention, please.
In an orderly fashion, please exit the hall.
NICK: Hey.
You just cost me 50 grand to reschedule this show, not to mention the settlement for the lawsuit this nitwit's gonna file.
Fiona was scared, okay? And in fairness to me, that guy was super sketchy.
Fiona has an active imagination - Mm-hmm.
- which has served her well.
All the songs she's demo'd so far off her new album have to do with oppression and confinement.
Being convinced she has a stalker after her helps with that.
You understand what I'm saying? That she's creating her own reality? She doesn't need a bodyguard.
She needs a buddy, a shoulder to bitch and moan on, someone to score her a joint after the show.
There's no stalker.
Just play along, and don't body-slam anyone again.
Please.
Hey.
What about my selfie, huh? Yeah.
Got it.
Nick, leave her alone.
You in A.
A.
now or anything? No.
Great.
Let's drink.
Caught that jewelry store robbery.
The son did it.
What? I haven't even looked at Security cameras went out at the exact time of the robbery, right? I guarantee you the kid's got some sort of drug habit or gambling addiction, whatever.
He needed quick cash.
He knows where his old man keeps it.
Thanks for screwing me out of any overtime working the case.
Geez.
Hey, you okay? I know this whole Kane thing is pretty intense, so if you needed an ear - I'm good.
Thanks.
- Okay.
Actually, um [CLEARS THROAT.]
I need a female perspective on something.
Lady troubles.
Get at me.
So, um, I just can't tell if she's playing games or or what.
The P.
I.
? Yeah.
Miles, I could set you up with someone who would completely take care of you in every way and wouldn't play any games.
Anyways.
It's like It's like I put it out there to her, and I don't know if I'm feeling something or am I just looking at it as a challenge.
And how did you "put it out there"? Like, the words exactly.
Or maybe you didn't.
- May Maybe I didn't.
- Mm.
Look, I know you've got badge bunnies and whoever else falling all over you, so this may come as a shock, but some women you got to let 'em know how you feel.
No maybes.
Just say the words.
- Say the words.
- Mm-hmm.
Thanks for meeting me, Lieutenant.
So, you are a friend of Dex Parios? I am.
Wow.
There's a full-time job.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- She's, uh, misunderstood, to a large degree.
You said that you had a tip, Mr Alvarez? My friends call me Tookie.
I am not your friend.
Fair enough.
I may have misspoke on the phone in that I don't have a tip, per se.
I have these permit problems I'd appreciate some help with.
Permit problems? Sign permits, grease permits, propane, vending.
- The city shut me down.
- Listen.
Food service really is not within my purview, so Your name's at the top of the directory, and my mom always said, "Go to the boss.
" Did she? I'm a law-abiding, tax-paying, born-and-raised proud son of Portland, and I need your help, Lieutenant.
Please have a seat.
You, uh, cook Mexican food, I take it? No, ma'am.
Cuisine, not food.
And I'm a chef, not a cook.
You know, 25 years ago, or "ish," I moved here from Philly, and I had the best mole sauce I had ever tasted in my life.
What was the name of that restaurant? Arturo's.
That was my mole.
- No.
- Yes! [CHUCKLING.]
What? I started as a sous chef there.
Job well done.
[CHUCKLES.]
Actually, it's a sore subject.
Oh.
I'm I'm sorry.
I worked day and night on that mole.
People started coming from miles around.
One day, I go into the restaurant, and there it is on the menu - "Arturo's famous mole.
" - Wait.
Don't tell me he took credit for your recipe.
Took the credit, took the recipe, took a chunk of my heart, if I'm being honest.
I walked out, and I swore never to make mole again.
[SMOOCHES.]
You know, that is a shame for all of us.
The taco trade it ain't for kittens, Lieutenant.
Let me see what I can do about this permit.
Okay? Uh, maybe I can get you an extension.
Can't promise.
I'd be eternally grateful.
Thank you.
[LOCK BEEPS.]
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE.]
You've come a long way, Fee.
Yeah, step up from the Rabbit Hole Motel in Winnemucca.
Do you remember that dump? Yeah.
That was a fun road trip.
- Yeah.
- [BOTTLE CAP CLATTERS.]
- Thanks.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
So, I'm gonna need, uh, a list of anyone who has backstage access.
But if you're bodyguarding me Is that a verb "bodyguarding"? [CHUCKLES.]
I-I don't know.
Um, I-I'm not technically a-a bodyguard.
That's a That's a different license.
I have a similar one, but Right.
Well, if you're by my side the whole time, do you really need all that stuff? Well, it wouldn't hurt.
Something to burn inside So, um, who was that guy I saw you with at the show? - Uh, Hoffman.
- That's his name? It It's his last name.
He's a cop.
They They love last names for some reason.
Are you and this cop, like, a thing? I don't I don't think so.
Do you want you and the cop to be a thing? [CHUCKLES.]
I-I don't know what I want.
Mm.
So I still have a chance.
In a new light In a new light What else can you tell me about this stalker? Well, what if there isn't a stalker? What if this is just some elaborate scheme to get you alone in my hotel room? Would you run out of here? I guess that I'm begging for you [CHUCKLES.]
To understand it's complicated when No.
They're left in the dark That warms my heart.
I never wanted to hurt you But there is a stalker, so I'm gonna have to have 24-hour protection until we get up to, um I actually don't even know where I'm going.
I just go where Nick tells me to go.
But, uh, I can get you the adjoining room.
- Cool? - Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Uh, I just have to get my brother situated first.
Ansel.
How's he doing? You remember him.
Uh-huh.
He's great.
Light of my life.
I'm just gonna make a quick call.
[CELLPHONE CLICKS, BEEPS.]
[RINGING.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Listen, it's taking a little bit longer than I thought.
I wondered if you could keep an eye on Ansel for me.
So now you trust me with him, I take it? You know what? I-I'm sorry I said that.
That was cheap and stupid.
Of course I got him.
Okay.
Hey, I got to go.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS, DOOR CLOSES.]
- Hey.
- Hi.
How is everything here? Great.
We're killing it.
We're killing it so hard that it's well, it's dead.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Ta-da.
This is it.
What brings you back? Um, you know, I had this whole cover story about a flat tire, but it feels very elaborate now, so I might as well just tell you I came back 'cause I wanted to see you again.
Well, I'm really glad you did.
Yeah? Yeah.
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
Sorry.
Give me a sec, okay? Yeah.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
I should have known better - Mm.
- Ah.
A P.
I.
That is so badass.
Well, it pays the bills.
Or it's it's, um it's starting to, anyway.
It suits you.
Are you happy? As much as anyone, I guess.
Is this where you thought you'd be? [INHALES SHARPLY.]
No.
Um, but it's where I have to be.
Do you ever regret not coming on the road? Be honest.
I never trust my feelings I mean, sometimes.
I see you on TV, or I, um, hear your song on the radio.
Well, when we were together, you were talking about getting your degree in psychology.
I was? Yeah.
You don't remember? No.
I mean, um, when we were together, I had just gotten back home.
It was all I could do to just put one foot in front of the other.
Oh, be my rest You know what I do remember? A couple nights, you would wake up screaming.
And you'd be covered in sweat.
And you would squeeze my hand.
I'll never forget that.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
I'm light as a feather I'm bright as the Oregon breeze This was just dropped off.
Great.
Thank you.
Frightened by my feelings I only wanna be a relief What is it? That's this room, Fee.
He's getting closer.
Hey.
Thanks so much for helping out.
Of course.
This way.
I'll see you when you're done.
- Okay? - Okay.
What am I paying you for? Um, to be awesome.
Dex must trust you.
She let me come in here alone.
Mm.
What's not to trust? I'm a cop.
The stalker could be a cop.
[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Sorry about that.
Um, can you think back through all your fan interactions? And I know there have been plenty.
It's possible that you may have met this person - and not known it.
- Oh.
"Double Fantasy.
" Double what? "Double Fantasy"? The John Lennon record a fan asked him to sign before shooting him.
Does anyone come to mind? Look, most interaction happens on social media these days.
It's all fans who love me so much they want to kill me or people who hate me so much they also want to kill me.
[CHUCKLES.]
Do you mind if we analyze your social media? Yeah.
Be my guest.
There's like six more phones where that came from.
"You are safe.
" Do you have any idea what he meant by that? None.
So, um what the story with you and Dex? Let's just stick to this story.
You've never met anyone like her, have you? We're trying to protect you here.
Oh, and I'm trying to protect you, Detective.
Be careful.
"Be careful"? Women like Dex and me, you'd spend your whole life trying to figure us out.
Okay.
So, look, I'm gonna get this analyzed, and, uh, maybe we'll single someone out.
Oh, um, I wouldn't go scrolling through those photos.
Not safe for work.
Mr.
Alvarez.
[CONTAINER THUDS.]
What is this? A thank-you gift.
They gave me an extension on my permits.
A gift is a bribe in this line of work.
Then consider this a gesture to a fellow appreciator of the finer tastes in life.
Is this Chicken tacos with my signature mole.
I brought it back from los muertos.
That's "dead" in Spanish.
All right.
Here goes.
Amazing.
[CHUCKLES.]
As good as you remember? - It's better! - Ha! Mmm! It's so funny how a taste can just bring you back.
I'd just moved here.
I met my husband.
A lot of good memories.
Thank you.
Thank you, Lieutenant.
Any time you get a craving, you know where to find me.
If not, Instagram does.
- [CHUCKLING.]
Okay.
- Enjoy.
[LOCK BEEPS.]
[SIGHS.]
I really think that we should change your room.
FIONA: Yeah, but why bother? He's just gonna find me again anyway.
Besides, when I'm with you, I feel safe.
Did Hoffman tell you how long it was gonna take to get the info off your phone? No, but he seems competent.
Competent.
Yes.
He is that.
["ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER" PLAYS ON PIANO.]
You see dimensions in two State your case in black or white But when one little cross leads to shots You grit your teeth, run for cover, so discreet Why don't they do what they say? Say what you mean One thing leads to another You told me something wrong I know I listen too long But then one thing leads to another [MUSIC STOPS.]
I-I can't.
I, uh, could lose my license.
Yeah, but who's gonna find out? ["ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER" PLAYS.]
But then one thing leads to another Leads to another Leads to another We scoured all of Fiona's social media, found some obsessive behavior in the comments, and then identified a similar language pattern between 70 or so messages.
- Same person? - Not on the surface.
All different user names.
But we looked into it, and many of the user names were authorized under a single e-mail address fionasangel22.
Tell me you got a name.
You think you can get me Fiona's autograph? No.
- It's for my s - No.
Martin Newtlander.
Addy puts him at a motel in Centennial.
- Good work.
- Mm-hmm.
[RADIO CHATTER.]
Portland Police Bureau.
Open up.
[CLATTERING, GLASS BREAKING.]
[DOOR SLAMS OPEN.]
Stop! Go! Go! Go! [DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
[FLASHLIGHT CLICKS.]
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE.]
[GUN CLICKS.]
So, this is what being on tour is like.
Hmm? Fancy hotel rooms, a different groupie in your bed each night.
Dex Parios, you are the furthest thing from a groupie.
I don't know.
[SIGHS.]
I dropped my pants pretty fast for a Fixx cover song.
[CHUCKLES.]
Mm.
This could have been us, you know, traveling the world together.
[CELLPHONE RINGS, VIBRATES.]
Ah, I got to get this.
[KEYPAD BEEPS.]
Hey.
Uh, no.
No, no, no.
Now's good.
What's up? We got an I.
D.
on your stalker guy.
His name's Martin Newtlander, and he's got priors in Florida.
Let me guess um, white, doughy, and super not married? Amazing guess.
- I'm texting you his mug shot now.
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
[CELLPHONE CHIMES, VIBRATES.]
Oh, there he is.
So, I tracked him to his motel in East Portland, but, uh, he slipped away.
Keep an eye out on this guy, Dex.
He's definitely gunning for Fiona, and he's wrong 10 different ways.
Okay.
Thanks.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Is everything okay? [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Uh, yeah, everything's fine.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS, CLICKS.]
COSGROVE: Mr.
Alvarez? Lieutenant.
Is there a problem? I thought all the permit stuff was ironed out.
This time, I need a favor.
Your expert opinion, actually.
Okay.
What's this? Well, I am a bit of a chef myself.
A cook, actually.
I dabble, and I just was hoping you would tell me what you think.
You want me to try your cooking? What is it? It's a Philly delicacy.
It's a cheesesteak egg roll.
Of course I added my own little zhuzh.
Cheesesteak egg roll? I have to be honest.
I'm skeptical.
There's a lot of competing themes here.
Well, why don't you try it first before you lift your leg on it? Fair.
Fair.
Crunchy.
Juicy.
Cheesy.
It's excellent.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're You're just saying that.
When I tell people the water at the hand-washing station is potable, I'm just saying it.
With food, I never lie.
Well, I'm just experimenting What about a cheesesteak egg roll flauta? I know what you're thinking.
Flauta it's a hat on a hat.
But when I get an inspiration, I have to run with it.
Can I play with this a little? - Really? - Truly.
Be my guest.
get higher Just another, just another wolf cryer Tell the world, let 'em know you think you're dyin' Well, it's thinning out.
What are you doing after we close? Well, it's a full moon, so I might squeeze in some shape-shifting.
Maybe a little vampirism? - [LAUGHS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
If time permits.
If it kills you You ever hear of radical honesty? What's the difference between that and regular honesty? It's like honesty on steroids.
- Mm.
- The theory is, revealing your deepest secrets allows for an intimacy that wouldn't be possible if you're hiding things.
You know we just met, right? [LAUGHS.]
Look, if you want to keep things on the surface, it's fine.
But if you want something more, I'm gonna need to see you have the balls.
All the truth, all the truth, it just leaves you dry Never cared My mom left when I was 6 years old.
I'm sorry.
I'm not.
She wasn't strong enough to save herself.
And if you ever met my father, you'd understand.
Is this too honest? Actually never done this before, so [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
My father was a crook, but he was low-rent.
He was a hell of a teacher, though.
By high school, I was making bank stealing cars.
But grand theft is a gateway crime, and by 18, I was a boxman, and there was not a safe I couldn't get into.
I did a few stints in prison and met some pretty bad dudes.
And that's actually how I got the money for this bar.
Tell me what you're thinking, and be radically honest.
My place or yours? Well, I live right upstairs.
You do? [SILVERWARE CLATTERS.]
I don't mean to speak out of turn, but I'm beginning to sense a pattern.
Me too.
One second.
Okay.
I can't wait for you to see rehearsal today.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Yeah.
Me too.
I'm excited.
I'm trying something new, so I want to know what you think.
Okay.
- Hey, uh, get in the elevator.
- What? - Push the emergency button.
- What's go [ELEVATOR ALARM BEEPING.]
DEX: Hey.
[METAL SCRAPES.]
- Feel that? - Mm-hmm.
I'm your worst nightmare.
All right.
Easy, man, okay? I protect her.
Right, Fiona?! Thank goodness you do.
There's a lot of crazies out there, right? Dex? [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
That woman punched me in the face.
You tried to stab her.
I didn't have a choice.
I-I had to protect Fiona X to save her.
From what, exactly? $80 room service? I protect Fiona, like she asked me to.
Mr.
Newtlander, you are facing very serious charges.
Now, my advice is that you start getting honest.
I'm telling you the truth! Fiona and I are friends! She asked me to help her in her letters.
Go to my motel room.
Look Look under the mattress.
You'll see.
Hey.
Done and dusted? Yeah.
He's claiming Fiona wanted his protection.
Let me walk you out.
That's crazy town.
Yeah.
So, charges are gonna be filed, and, uh, we'll go through the motel room one more time, and, uh, I'll keep you posted.
- Okay.
- All right? - Well, thank you.
- All right.
- Hey, Dex.
- Mm-hmm? I, uh I've been thinking.
About what? Friday.
Friday? You know what? You got a lot going on.
So don't worry about it.
- Okay.
- All right.
My famous morning-after eggs.
Wait.
How famous? Well, after a few hundred thousand served, I lost count.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
How are they? So good.
All right, flatter me all you want.
[CHUCKLING.]
You're not leaving in my favorite shirt.
That shirt stays here.
Grey? Hey, pal, you're up early.
Why is she Why is she here? Maybe I should just No, no, no, you're fine.
You're staying.
Everything's fine, right, pal? [DOOR SLAMS.]
[LOCK ENGAGES.]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
My white knight.
- Mmm.
- I knew you'd be the one to save me.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Well, you know, Hoffman helped a lot.
I don't want to hear about him right now.
That was really something, what you did back there.
Mmm.
Come on.
Let's have some fun.
Oh.
Uh, no.
I'm I'm good.
- Thank you.
- [SNIFFS.]
Come on.
Come celebrate with me.
It's not really my thing anymore, Fee.
Oh, don't be a bore.
I'm only in town for one more night.
[SNIFFS.]
- [CELLPHONE RINGS, VIBRATES.]
- [SNORTS.]
Um, I got to take this.
Come on.
Open up.
Hey.
What happened? He came downstairs.
We were having breakfast.
Wait.
Who's [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
You You had somebody here while my brother was here? Her name is Liz.
It was all very PG.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I'm sorry.
I was just trying to be helpful.
Ah, well, leaving would be helpful.
- That'd be nice.
- Dex, that's my guest.
- Okay.
I'm gonna go.
- Please treat her with respect.
- Don't leave.
Please don't leave.
- I'll call you.
- Classy, man.
- Oh, you should talk.
I mean, what do you expect I'm gonna put my life on hold every time you want to get lucky? I'm sorry.
You're right.
I don't know why I called you after what you did.
- That was my mistake.
- How long are you gonna punish me - with the same stuff? - As long as I want to, okay? - You messed up, and I don't - I know Stop fighting.
All right, buddy, what's going on, huh? Are you leaving? - What? - Like Mom and Dad.
No.
Come on, pal.
I am not leaving.
But you're mad at him.
Yeah.
You know, people people fight, and they, uh, yell at each other.
But that doesn't mean they don't still care about each other.
Look, no matter how mad your sister gets, it's not gonna scare me away.
Nobody's going anywhere, okay? I promise.
[CELLPHONE CHIMES.]
Hold on.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
[SIGHS.]
Permanently, I mean.
You know, sometimes I have to go for my work.
It's okay, Dex.
I got it.
Thanks.
Okay.
I'll see you in a bit, all right? Okay.
Have a good day.
- Love you, buddy.
- Love you, too.
All right.
The silverware was a bit much.
- Yes.
- [CHUCKLES.]
"Meet me in Omaha on the 13th.
" "I'll be waiting for you in Chicago.
" "Come see me in Denver.
I miss you.
" You wrote this guy letters.
You turned this man into a stalker, reached out and stoked his obsession.
- Why would I do that? - Attention? Maybe you wanted to play the damsel in distress? [SCOFFS.]
Is that what you think of me? Postmarks on the letters line up - with your tour schedule.
Where were you last week, Fee? Um, I was in Tacoma.
[SNIFFLES.]
Wait.
No.
Hold on.
I was in Miami? Okay.
Where are you gonna be next week? Um I'm gonna be uh She doesn't know.
She doesn't know where she's playing night to night, let alone a month from now.
[SNIFFLES.]
There's no way she could have written these.
Is there anyone capable of forging your signature? No.
Fiona.
No.
He would never do that.
Open your eyes, Fee.
[SIGHS.]
[HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE.]
Detective, great.
I'm due at the venue.
Listen, from here on out the information download, phone calls will suffice.
This is more of a face-to-face kind of thing.
- You're under arrest.
- For what? - For stalking and conspiracy.
- [CHUCKLING.]
Me? But you caught the guy who was stalking her.
At your behest, which makes you an accessory to the crime.
- What? - You'll have plenty of time to get familiar with it.
Now turn your ass around.
[GRUNTS.]
Nice car.
[HANDCUFFS CLICK.]
It's a lease.
Well, Nick wanted to make you paranoid, right, to keep you reliant on him.
Yeah.
And it worked.
Was I always like this? You've always been very trusting.
Yeah, naive.
Pathetic for someone who's traveled the world seven times.
Oh, you've traveled all over the world, but things around you got a little bit small.
Hey, why don't you stay home for a while? No, I The tour dates are locked in.
It doesn't work like that.
Come with me.
Run my security.
It'll be so much fun.
It'll be an adventure, and I'll I'll take care of all the flights and I'll support you.
You're my muse.
I have a life here.
This P.
I.
thing? This is a life? Look, I know you regret bailing on that tour.
Do you really want more regret? [SMACKS LIPS.]
Yeah.
You know, you might be who you were 10 years ago, but I'm not.
Fine.
Thanks for everything.
[FOOD SIZZLING, INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
What is this? The special.
It's new.
Tacos a la Cosgrove? Are you kidding me? All right, here goes.
[CRUNCH.]
Sabrosa.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES.]
Eres muy amable.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
I'm so sorry.
They just found a body in the Willamette.
Oh, God.
- Can I please get this to go? - Yeah.
You know I'm married, right? [CHUCKLES.]
Me too.
Yeah.
So this is just a A collaboration.
Thanks, Tookie.
By all means, Lieutenant.
My friends they call me Bobby.
Is it unsettling being with me and not hearing glass shattering - [LAUGHING.]
- and doors slamming? [LAUGHS.]
Uh, I'm trying to get used to it.
Well, I'm sorry about that.
But he's a really, really sweet guy.
Yeah, who cares about you very much.
I can see why the thought of losing someone like you would be unsettling.
Well, that's about the nicest thing anyone's said about me in a long time.
His sister doesn't seem to like me much.
Dex'll come around.
And if she doesn't? Then that's her problem.
But to clarify, you and Dex are Just friends.
Okay.
- Okay? - Okay.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[BOWLING PINS CLATTER.]
Never went to college Leave your comments in the message box He walks like Elvis Presley Why do they have to make these things so ugly? So you don't take 'em home.
Ah.
Hi.
Hey.
So, I don't bowl well.
Scratch that.
I don't bowl at all.
Saying my name I have a talent for discretion Ball.
- [SIGHS.]
- Pins.
- Simple.
- All right.
As everybody's playing the game What's that? Hey, there, did you call me? Are you lonely? Wow.
Okay, wow.
That was terrible.
Why do you like this sport again? The form, the focus, but most importantly The beer? 'Cause that's No matter how bad you screw up, you always get a second chance.
[SIGHS.]
Okay.
I'm glad you came.
[BALL THUDS.]
- Oh! - Oh!