Summer Heights High (2007) s01e06 Episode Script

1 WELL, I'VE HAD CELINE FOR 12 YEARS.
SHE'S PAST IT NOW, BUT IN HER DAY SHE WAS QUITE THE PERFORMER.
SHE AND I DID TRICK SHOWS.
WE'D DO LITTLE SHOWS TOGETHER WITH THE HOOPS.
AND HOOPIES, GO THROUGH.
COME ON.
HOOPIES.
COME THROUGH.
HOOPIES.
SHE MIGHT NEED SOME ENCOURAGEMENT.
COME THROUGH THE HOOP, CELINE.
COME THROUGH THE HOOP.
GOOD, THERE WE GO.
THAT'S WHAT SHE DOES.
SHE'D JUMP FOUR TO FIVE METERS ABOVE THE GROUND WITH A RUN-UP.
SHE'D JUS DIVE THROUGH IT.
SHE'D RUN RUN RUN AND SHE'D GO THROUGH THE HOOP AND DOWN.
SHE USED TO DO A TRICK WHERE SHE'D GRAB ONTO MY ARM.
SHE'D BITE ONTO THE SLEEVE AND I'D SWING HER AROUND.
WE USED TO DO MULTIPLICATION TRICKS, A LITTLE TRICK WHERE I'D GIVE HER A SIMPLE MULTIPLICATION SUM.
TWO TIMES THREE IS ( whispers ) SIX.
GO.
STEP IT OUT.
ONE, TWO-- STEP IT OUT.
COME ON.
THREE, FOUR, FIVE.
SIX.
WELL DONE.
AND SHE LOVES A BI OF A SWING, DON'T YA? SWING.
SWING.
AND THE WONDERFUL THING IS OUT SHE COMES.
CAN SHE WALK? YES, SHE CAN, BUT SEE, SHE'LL GO TO THE SIDE.
THAT'S 'CAUSE OF THE-- THE DIZZINESS THAT SHE GETS.
SEE? OOP OOP.
NO, THAT'S NOT THE FRONT.
GO TO THE FRONT.
DO YOU WANT A SMACK? YOU'LL GET ONE.
THERE WE GO.
AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEAVE HER TO DO SOMETHING ON HER OWN.
( theme music playing ) Mr.
G: WELL, THE SHI HAS WELL AND TRULY HI THE FAN THIS WEEK.
THERE'S BEEN MAJOR MAJOR CREATIVE INTERFERENCE WITH THE ARENA SPECTACULAR.
ANNABEL DICKSON'S PARENTS HAVE READ THE SCRIP AND THEY'VE DECIDED THAT I CANNOT USE THEIR DAUGHTER'S STORY FOR MY MUSICAL.
10 DAYS OUT FROM OPENING NIGHT, I JUST-- I CANNOT FATHOM THE SELFISHNESS OF IT.
SO I'VE SPEN THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS-- STRAPPED MYSELF TO THE BEAST-- AND I THINK I MAY HAVE COME UP WITH SOMETHING.
- WILL IT BE DOWN NEAR THE CANTEEN? - YES.
I'LL BE FOCUSING MORE ON THE MR.
G CHARACTER AND LOOKING AT HIS INFLUENCE ON THE KIDS, THE DRUGS AND WHATNOT.
AND THESE ARE THE POSTERS THAT WE'VE HAD DONE.
WE'RE GOING WITH "MR.
G, THE MUSICAL" AS THE NAME OF THE SHOW.
MY NAME IS MR.
G THREE TALENTS, ONE, TWO, THREE SELL IT OUT TO ME, PLEASE.
PLAY TO THE ARENA.
SINGING, DANCING AND ACTING IS MY LIFE Mr.
G's voice: THE CHARACTER, MR.
G, IN THIS NEW REWORKED SHOW-- HE'S A JESUS-TYPE FIGURE, IF YOU LIKE.
HE PREACHES TO THE KIDS ABOUT THEIR-- YOU KNOW, THEIR ISSUES.
IN A WORLD OF CRAZY KIDS Mr.
G's voice: BUT HE CAN'T HELP YOUNG JESSICA, WHO'S SIMILAR TO THE ANNABEL CHARACTER.
SHE GETS INVOLVED IN DRUGS AND SHE EVENTUALLY DIES OF AN OVERDOSE AT THE END OF ACT TWO.
SHE DOESN'T LISTEN TO MR.
G'S ADVICE.
AT SUMMER HEIGHTS HIGH! UH, PLEASE, HOISTERS.
SO YOU GUYS MIGHT WAN TO LOOK THROUGH THAT, GET SOME IDEAS.
ASK ME IF YOU NEED ANY ADVICE.
WE'LL HAVE A STRETCH LIMO WITH SUNROOF IN THE BACK.
SO THE NIGHTCLUB'S CALLED BLIND - AND IT'S REALLY COOL.
THE DJ IS SO GOOD.
- REALLY? - IS HE HOT? - Ja'mie: HE'S AWESOME.
HE'S ONE OF THE MOS EXPENSIVE DJS IN THE COUNTRY.
- WOW.
- AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE HIM AT OUR FORMAL.
- Holly: THIS IS SERIOUSLY UNBELIEVABLE, JA'MIE.
- I KNOW.
- YOU HAVE DONE THE BEST JOB.
- I KNOW HOW PLAN A GOOD FORMAL.
I TOLD YOU.
- Holly: YEAH.
- AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS A BIT PRICEY AND STUFF - NO.
- BUT CONSIDERING THE VENUE.
- ( all chattering ) - WE'LL GO SELL TICKETS AT LUNCH AGAIN.
GRAB-- GRAB ONE OF THESE.
WE WILL HAVE TO SPLIT UP.
WE'RE ON THE COMMITTEE.
WE DON'T HAVE TO BUY TICKETS, RIGHT? NO, WE'RE NO BUYING TICKETS.
NO, WE'RE DOING SO MUCH WORK.
COMMITTEE MEMBERS DO NOT BUY TICKETS.
- Girls: YEAH.
- OH MY GOD, GUYS-- ISSUE.
I HAD A GIRL COME UP TO ME ON THE PLAYGROUND ASKING ME WHETHER SHE COULD GO TO THE FORMAL WITH ANOTHER GIRL - Holly: ARE YOU SERIOUS? - AND NOT AS A JOKE THING.
- YEAH, ACTUALLY AS A LESBIAN.
- FULL-ON LESBIANS, YEAH.
- EWW.
- I JUST DON'T THINK WE SHOULD BE LETTING THEM COME.
I DON'T WAN TO BE A BITCH, BUT I JUST-- I FEEL LIKE THERE MIGHT BE AN EASY WAY THAT WE CAN DISCOURAGE THEM, YOU KNOW? LIKE, IF WE JUS SAID TO THEM "LIKE WE'D PREFER I IF YOU DIDN'T COME.
" ACTUALLY, I THINK LESBIANS ARE REALLY IN AT THE MOMENT.
THERE'S SOME REALLY HOT LESBIANS-- IT'D BE REALLY ACCEPTING OF US.
I THINK IT WOULD DRAG THINGS DOWN.
WE'VE GOT THE MOS AWESOME NIGHT PLANNED AND I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE UPSTAGED BY A BUNCH OF DYKES.
- TAMSIN WALKER.
- TAMSIN WALKER.
- Holly: HAVE YOU SEEN HER? - IS SHE A LESBIAN? - SHE'S HOT.
- WITH THE BLACK HAIR.
- YEAH, I KNOW HER.
- YEAH, ALL THE GUYS LOVE HER.
- SHE'S REALLY HOT.
- THEY LOVE HER.
Holly: AND WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, LIKE, DO YOU WANT THIS FORMAL TO BE LIKE REMEMBERED, - LIKE TO STAND OUT? - SERIOUS.
I GUESS IT'S COOL, BUT I FOR ONE DO NOT WANT TO SEE TAMSIN WALKER PASHING SOME CHICK ON THE DANCE FLOOR AT OUR FORMAL.
- IT'S OUR NIGHT.
- ( all chattering ) SO YOU GUYS, DOES-- SHUT UP.
DOES EVERYONE RECKON IT WOULD BE COOL IF THE LESBIANS CAME? - All: YEAH.
- I THINK IT'S FINE.
IF YOU CAN GUARANTEE ME IT'S A COOL THING, - AND IT'S GONNA MAKE US LOOK GOOD - I THINK IT'S COOL.
THEN I THINK WE SHOULD TO IT.
ASHLEY, CAN YOU WRITE THAT DOWN? ALL LESBIANS ALLOWED TO THE FORMAL.
WE'LL GO FIND THEM AT LUNCH AND TELL THEM.
LESBIAN ISSUE SORTED.
LET'S GET ON WITH THE REST OF IT.
DRESSES-- WHEN ARE WE SHOPPING AND WHERE? AND IF YOU'RE GETTING EXTENSIONS DONE, YOU NEED TO STAR PLANNING LIKE ME.
( Polynesian drums playing ) ( man vocalizing ) ( boys grunt ) ( cheering ) ( chatting ) ( whispers ) LOOK AT THE KIDS.
WELL, THAT WAS FANTASTIC, WASN'T IT? - VERY STIRRING.
- HEY, LOOK, THAT LITTLE BOY WAS LAUGHING AGAIN.
I'LL FUCKIN' KILL THE LITTLE FUCKER.
I'M GONNA BASH THE SHI OUT OF THAT LITTLE FUCKER.
- FUCKIN' PEDOPHILE PETE, MAKING US DO THIS SHIT.
- Peterson: BEFORE WE FINISH, I'D LIKE TO THANK AGAIN OUR SPECIAL CELEBRITY GUEST TODAY, TREVOR, THE WINNER OF "BIG BROTHER 4.
" - THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- ( cheering ) THAT'S RIGHT.
NOW SOME OF THE BOYS HAVE PUT TOGETHER A HIP-HOP SONG WITH A MUSIC VIDEO CLIP TO GO WITH IT.
WATCH OUT, MTV.
THIS IS JONAH TAKALUA'S RAP SONG, "BEING A POLY.
" ( hip-hop music playing ) - Yo yo yo - Polynesian, baby - Polynesian, baby - I'm a FOB, I'm a FOB All alone in this big bad school Don't wanna fuck up, I know it's not cool - Polynesian, baby - Polynesian, I'm a FOB, I'm a FOB I come from the islands, and that's no excuse My culture is better than any of youse - Polynesian, baby - Polynesian ( whispers ) FUCK YOU.
Being a Poly, oh my golly Just because I'm black, it's me you cannot hack Being a Poly, oh my golly - Polynesian, baby - Polynesian.
( cheering ) FUCKIN' LOOKING AT ME.
Kids: THE SMELL OF CHILDREN THE SMELL OF-- DOING IT TOGETHER THE SMELL OF LIFE Rodney: GREG'S REALLY FEELING THE STRAIN AT THE MOMENT.
YOU CAN STOP DANCING AND SIT DOWN, PLEASE.
IT'S NOT SOME ENTERTAINMENT SERVICE FOR YOU.
WE WEREN'T EXPECTING SUCH MAJOR SCRIPT CHANGES, AND THE TIME HASN' BEEN ALLOWED, SO WE REALLY ARE RUNNING A BIT BEHIND.
KEEP THE FLIPPING DOOR SHUT, PLEASE! I DON'T WANT CELINE RUNNING ONTO THE ROAD.
Rodney: I CAN TELL HE'S REALLY STRESSED BECAUSE HE TENDS TO YELL A BIT MORE.
AND I FIND THA HE DOES TEND TO TAKE IT OUT AND ME AND THE KIDS A FAIR BIT.
RODNEY, PRESS PLAY, PLEASE! IT'S NOT THAT HARD.
BLOODY TOBY COULD DO IT.
WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT? YOU LOOK LIKE A BLOODY, BRAIN-DEAD RETARD.
JESUS CHRIST, ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE IT.
DO YOU REALIZE YOU LOOK LIKE A MORON ONSTAGE? Mr.
G's voice: YES, I ALWAYS GET LIKE THIS IN THE FINAL STRETCH.
THE KIDS KNOW THAT I DON' MEAN MOST OF WHAT I SAY.
- I'M REALLY A BIG PUSSYCAT.
- THAT IS WHERE THE SECOND SYRINGE IS GOING.
I AM USING THE GYM AS A THEATER.
- JESUS CHRIST.
- GREG, LANGUAGE.
I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR OPINION ABOU MY LANGUAGE, RODNEY.
RIGHT NOW I DON'T CARE.
TELL SOMEONE WHO CARES.
THIS IS COMING DOWN.
THAT'S GOING.
I'M SICK OF P.
E.
AND I'M SICK OF THEM TAKING OVER MY BLOODY GYM.
AND I'M SICK OF ALL OF IT.
AND I'M SICK OF YOU GIVING ME YOUR STUPID OPINIONS AND-- AND SAYING YOUR STUPID THINGS INTO MY FACE.
AND YOUR-- I'M SICK OF YOUR VOICE, RODNEY.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A CHILL PILL, IDIOT? WELL, FUCK IT.
- THERE THEY ARE.
- ( girls giggling ) TAMSIN, UM, AND YOUR FRIENDS.
I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
- HI, I'M JA'MIE-- YOU PROBABLY KNOW THAT.
- HI.
WE JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THE FORMAL COMMITTEE'S DECIDED THAT LESBIANS CAN COME TO THE FORMAL.
SO COME ALONG AND GET SOME TICKETS.
THEY'RE 450 BUCKS AND WE'LL SEE YOU ON THE NIGHT.
- THANKS.
- THANKS.
- SEE YA.
- BYE.
- THAT WENT REALLY WELL.
- OH MY GOD, IT DID.
I'M SO GLAD IT WAS QUICK.
- I ALWAYS THINK SHE'S TRYING TO LIKE CRACK ONTO ME.
- YEAH.
SHE'S REALLY HOT, THOUGH.
- LOOK WHO IT IS.
- FUCK OFF, YOU SEVENS! - IT'S YEAR-EIGHT TURF, ONLY.
- NICE LITTLE RAP SONG YOU HAD THIS MORNING.
- FUCKIN' REAL GOOD.
- AT LEAST I CAN RAP! AND YOUR LITTLE GRASS SKIRTS, THAT WAS SO CUTE.
AW.
AT LEAST WE CAN DANCE, MOTHERFUCKER.
YOU WISH.
YOU DANCE FOR SHIT.
- YOU LOOKED GAY.
- YOU CAN'T EVEN BREAK-DANCE FOR SHIT.
HEY, ME AND LIAM NEED SOME POLYNESIAN ADVICE.
WE'RE DEVELOPING SOME MAN-BOOBS, WHAT SHOULD WE DO? - POLYNESIAN-- - YOUR MOTHER'S THE ONE WITH MAN-BOOBS, MOTHERFUCKER.
WHY DON'T YOU GO HANG OU AT GUMNUT COTTAGE WITH THE LOVELY MISS PALMER? - WHY DON'T YOU FUCK YOUR OWN ASS? - SO YOU ACTUALLY CAN'T READ AT ALL AT THE AGE OF 13.
THAT EXPLAINS WHY YOUR RAP LYRICS WERE SO CRAP.
FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER! - FUCK YOU, KEIRAN.
- GET OFF ME! FUCK OFF! GET THE FUCK OFF ME! YOU WANT THE FUCKIN' SHOE? WHO WANTS THE FUCKIN' SHOE? GIVE ME MY SHOE BACK, YOU ASSHOLE! - JONAH, GET IN THERE NOW.
- GO GET IT YOURSELF, MOTHERFUCKER! JONAH, COME HERE! NOW! - Jonah: MISS, YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE! - WHAT'S GOING ON?! - YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE.
HE PROVOKED ME.
- EXCUSE ME, I SAW THAT.
- YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE! TELL HER, BOYS.
- BE QUIET.
I DON'T CARE WHA HE SAID, JONAH! - I AM NOT IMPRESSED.
- ( all shouting ) ( school bell ringing ) THAT'S THE BELL.
P.
E.
STUDENTS, GET OUT.
THE GYM'S MINE AS OF NOW.
OUT.
CAREFUL WITH THAT BALL ON MY SET.
TAKE THEM OUT.
YOU'RE FREAKING OUT MY DOG.
FOR THE RUN OF MY SHOW, I NEED THE BASKETBALL HOOP GONE.
GREG, P.
E.
IS STILL USING THE SPACE, YOU CANNOT REMOVE THE BASKETBALL RING.
AND AS FOR THE IDEA OF PAINTING THE GYM FLOOR WHITE, THAT'S ABSOLUTELY LUDICROUS AND OUT OF THE QUESTION.
THERE'S A MORE IMPORTANT ISSUE.
I'VE HAD A NOTE FROM A PARENT.
ACCORDING TO THIS MOTHER, YOU CALLED HER DAUGHTER A WALRUS, - AND YOU SAID - WELL-- YOU WERE GLAD THA YOU HAD REINFORCED THE STAGE OR SHE MIGHT HAVE FALLEN THROUGH.
I WAS REFERRING TO HANNAH AUSTIN.
AND I THINK IN THAT CASE, IT'S A LEGITIMATE CONCERN.
SORRY, GREG, IT'S NO ACCEPTABLE, OKAY? I WANT YOU TO APOLOGIZE TO HANNAH AND TO ANY OTHER STUDENTS YOU MAY HAVE OFFENDED, AND GET ON WITH DOING WHAT YOU DO WELL AND THAT IS PRODUCING THE FANTASTIC PERFORMANCE THAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO.
FINE.
WHAT ABOU MY ARENA SEATING? WELL, IT COSTS ME $5,000 TO HIRE THE SEATING.
AND WE CAN MANAGE, NO DOUBT, WHEN WE HAVE CHAIRS ON THE GYM FLOOR-- I'VE ADVERTISED I AS AN ARENA SPECTACULAR.
I NEED ARENA SEATING.
I'M NOT PUTTING THEM ON THE FLOOR FOR GOD'S SAKE.
GREG, YOU KNOW WE HAVE LIMITATIONS IN TERMS OF MONEY IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS.
WELL, EVERYTHING I ASK FOR YOU JUST REFUSE BECAUSE IT'S DRAMA AND YOU DON'T CARE AND YOU'RE TOO BUSY WITH YOUR SPOR AND YOUR LIBRARY AND YOUR-- THAT'S NOT FAIR AND I'M GETTING SICK OF YOU DOING YOUR WHOLE SULKING ACT.
WE'RE NOT GOING TO DISRUP THE WHOLE LIFE OF P.
E.
AND EVERYONE ELSE FOR YOUR GRANDIOSE PLANS.
CAN I JUST REMIND YOU, MARGARET, THAT I HAVE MY RESIGNATION LETTER IN MY PIGEONHOLE WAITING TO GO? AND I DON'T WAN TO HAVE TO USE IT, BUT I WILL USE IT.
DON'T PUSH ME, MARGARET.
I'LL GO.
YOU'LL HAVE NO PERFORMING ART CENTRE.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE NO PRODUCTION, NO MEDIA EXPOSURE.
I'LL JUST BE GONE.
I'VE GOTTA DO WHAT I CAN DO WITHIN THE CONSTRAINTS OF OUR FUNDS.
I'M JUST ASKING YOU TO HAVE A THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE WITH ME.
AND KNOW THAT IF YOU KEEP GETTING IN MY WAY, I WILL HAVE NO HESITATION IN BRINGING THAT LETTER IN HERE AND RESIGNING.
- JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT.
- OH, COME ON.
- BE-- BE REASONABLE.
- I'M BEING REASONABLE.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S NOT GIVING ME WHAT I WANT.
THINK ABOUT IT.
I COULD BE GONE LIKE THAT.
I TEND TO BELIEVE THA KEIRAN IS THE INNOCEN ONE IN THIS SITUATION.
YOU'VE ALL BEEN ON HIS CASE SINCE THE JUNIOR SCHOOL-- I AM WARNING YOU.
SINCE THE JUNIOR SCHOOL DANCE, THIS WHOLE NONSENSE HAS BEEN GOING ON, ALL RIGHT? AND I'M-- I'M ABSOLUTELY SICK OF IT.
IT REVOLVES THESE RIDICULOUS TURF WARS - THAT EXIST OVER THE AMPHITHEATER.
- Jonah: IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
YOU DO NOT OWN THE AMPHITHEATER.
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? - Boys: IT'S OUR TURF! - EXCUSE ME.
NOR ARE YOU ALLOWED TO USE YOUR SIZE TO BULLY OTHER STUDENTS.
- I KNOW, MISS.
IT'S NO ABOUT BULLYING HIM.
- HE STARTED SHIT.
WHAT IS I ABOUT THEN, HUH? - HE WAS TEASING ME-- - OH, TEASING YOU, JONAH! - Jonah: HE WAS BEING RACIST.
- WELL, DO YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK YOU'RE BIG ENOUGH TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF TEASING.
YOUR PROBLEM IS, JONAH, THAT YOU CAN CERTAINLY DISH IT OUT, - BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE IT.
- HE MADE FUN OF ME NO BEING ABLE TO READ, MISS.
I DON'T CARE.
DO YOU KNOW HOW WE'RE GOING TO SOLVE THIS ISSUE? - HOW, MISS? - YOU'RE ALL BANNED FROM THE AMPHITHEATER.
- THAT'S JUS FUCKED UP, MISS! - THAT'S IT.
NO MORE.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT? IF I CATCH YOU EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO THE AMPHITHEATER, THIS ISSUE WILL GO TO MISS MURRAY.
- MISS! - NOW, I'M PRETTY SURE THA YOU DON'T WANT YOUR DAD FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS, DO YOU, JONAH? DO YOU? - NO, MISS.
- NO.
AND IN ADDITION TO THAT, YOU WILL STAY AT LEAS 10 METERS AWAY FROM ALL YEAR-SEVEN STUDENTS AT ALL TIMES.
- ALL RIGHT? - YES, MISS.
NOW GO AND FIND THE CLEANER, GET THE LADDER - AND GET THE SHOE OFF THE ROOF.
- YES, MISS.
- FUCK, MAN.
- Wheatley: KEEP AWAY FROM THEM, ALL RIGHT? - WELL, HE RANG ME LAST NIGHT-- - OKAY.
HE RANG ME LAST NIGHT AND HE SAID HE'S GONNA COME WITH ME.
WHO IS PATRICK AND HOW COME I DON'T KNOW ABOUT HIM? HE'S KIND OF SHY-- THE GUY IN THE WHEELCHAIR.
THE WHEELCHAIR GUY? HE'S HOT, JESS.
OH MY GOD.
IT'S SUCH A GOOD LOOK, GOING WITH A DISABLED GUY.
- YEAH! - IT IS.
IT CAN GET YOU SOME CRED FOR BEING SYMPATHETIC AND STUFF.
YEAH, AND HE'S TOTALLY HOT, SO YOU GET, LIKE, - THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.
- WHEELCHAIRS IS SUCH A GOOD VISUAL, THOUGH.
- Girls: YEAH.
- LIKE WHEN YOU ARRIVE, OH MY GOD.
I WENT WITH A BLACK GUY TO MY YEAR-10 FORMAL - FOR THE SAME REASON.
- REALLY? AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE "OH, WOW.
" - YEAH, WE'VE GONE OUT A WHILE.
- THAT'S HOT.
SO COOL.
AND IT'S REALLY GOOD FOR THE LATE-NIGHT DITCH.
SERIOUSLY, GUYS, WE HAVE TO DUMP OUR PARTNERS AFTER THE FORMAL.
- I'M NOT TAKING HIM TO THE AFTER-PARTY.
- YEAH, THE AFTER-PARTY-- - WHO ARE YOU ACTUALLY TAKING? - Ja'mie: I DON'T KNOW YET.
- AS IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU WANT TO TAKE.
- I DON'T KNOW.
I'VE HEARD STUFF FROM PEOPLE THAT HENRY IS LIKE SAVING HIMSELF FOR YOU.
- DID HENRY SAY THAT? - YES.
( all chattering ) JA'MIE, HE IS LIKE HANDS DOWN THE HOTTES GUY IN OUR YEAR.
- I KNOW-- - EVEN IN OUR SCHOOL-- SHUT UP.
SO EMBARRASSING.
SERIOUSLY, SHE COULD HAVE ANY GUY SHE WANTS.
- DO YOU KNOW HOW GOOD YOU WOULD LOOK TOGETHER? - I KNOW, WE WOULD LOOK REALLY HOT TOGETHER.
I JUST-- I WANT TO GO WITH SOMEONE REALLY SPECIAL.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? LIKE, I WANT IT TO BE AN AMAZING NIGH AND I WANT MY PARTNER TO BE AMAZING.
YEAH, TRUE.
OKAY, GUYS.
LISTENING UP.
HEY, EVERYONE.
Mr.
G's voice: THINGS ARE GOING FROM WORSE TO WORSE.
MY-- MY LEAD, MY MR.
G, HAS WALKED.
HE'S LEFT THE SHOW.
RUMORS COMING BACK TO ME ARE THAT APPARENTLY I CALLED HIM A PANSY IN ONE OF THE REHEARSALS AND SUGGESTED THA HE MAY BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LACK OF TICKET SALES.
LISTEN UP, PLEASE, CAST.
Mr.
G's voice: WE NEED TO FIND A NEW MR.
G, A.
S.
A.
P.
I WOULDN'T TELL THE KIDS THIS, BUT I AM LITERALLY FREAKING OUT.
WE DO NOT HAVE A MR.
G, SO I'M FREAKING OUT.
MATTHEW'S A LITTLE PRICK FOR LEAVING AND HE WILL NEVER BE IN ANOTHER SHOW AGAIN.
ALSO, APPARENTLY, SOME OF YOU ARE A LITTLE UPSE THAT I'VE BEEN SAYING SOME PERSONAL THINGS TO YOU IN REHEARSALS, AND YOU'VE BEEN TELLING MOMMY AND DADDY ABOUT SOME THINGS THAT I MAY HAVE SAID.
IF I CALL YOU NAMES OR MAKE A COMMEN THAT YOU TAKE PERSONALLY YOU KNOW, TWO WORDS-- DEAL WITH IT.
YOU NEED TO GE OVER YOURSELVES AND REALIZE IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT'S ABOUT THE SHOW.
I'M SORRY-- THAT'S WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SAYING-- I'M SORRY, BUT THIS IS THE THEATER AND THERE'S NO ROOM FOR HYPERSENSITIVE TYPES.
UM, HI.
HI, TAMSIN.
- HI.
- CAN I TALK TO YOU PRIVATELY? - YEAH, SURE.
YEAH.
- IS THAT COOL? COOL.
YES, I JUS WANTED TO SAY HI.
AND I WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
OKAY.
- I'M INTRIGUED.
- YEAH.
WELL, AS YOU KNOW, THE FORMAL'S COMING UP, RIGHT? AND EVERYONE'S ASKING DATES, AND I KNOW YOU'RE INTO GIRLS YEAH.
SO I WANTED TO ASK IF YOU'D GO WITH ME TO THE FORMAL.
OH.
UM I'M REALLY FLATTERED, BUT I DON'T KNOW YOU THAT WELL, JA'MIE.
YEAH, SO WE'D HAVE TO HANG OUT AND STUFF, LIKE GO TO THE SHOPS OR SOMETHING - AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE WE GO.
- YEAH.
YEAH.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INTO GIRLS.
YEAH, I AM.
YEAH.
AND I'VE BEEN REALLY CONFUSED FOR A WHILE, UM, BUT NOW I KNOW FOR SURE.
I'M-- I'M REALLY INTO CHICKS.
OKAY.
UM, COOL.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.
- IS THAT OKAY? - YEAH YEAH, THAT'S COOL.
I WANT US TO LOOK EQUALLY HOT ON THE NIGHT, SO IF THAT'S WHA YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT, THEN-- THEN DON'T, - 'CAUSE WE-- I CAN GIVE YOU SOME TIPS.
- OKAY, THANKS.
UM THAT'S REALLY FLATTERING, - I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO HAVE A THINK.
- YEAH, THAT'S COOL.
- OKAY.
- GET BACK TO ME.
- I WILL.
- UM, SO SHOULD WE GO OU TO OUR FRIENDS OR-- - YEAH, OKAY.
- YEAH.
OH MY GOD.
- GREG.
- HMM? I'VE GOT AN IDEA AND I THINK IT'S THE PERFECT WAY TO FIX OUR PROBLEMS.
I'VE GOT-- I'VE GOT SOME IDEAS ABOUT WHO THE NEW MR.
G WILL BE.
I DO NOT NEED YOUR HELP.
I'M SORTED IN THAT DEPARTMEN OF THINKING THOUGHTS.
WELL, I'VE SPOKEN TO THE CAST, AND WE ALL PRETTY MUCH AGREE, YOU'VE ONLY GOT ONE OPTION TOBY.
NO.
NO.
I NEED TOBY AS MY ASSISTANT.
HE'S-- HE CAN' BE IN THE CAST.
HE KNOWS EVERYONE'S DIALOGUE, HE KNOWS ALL THE DANCE ROUTINES.
NO-- I-- THANK YOU, TOBY, BUT NO, YOU CANNOT BE MR.
G, NO.
IT'S A RIDICULOUS IDEA.
NO.
HE'S THE ONLY OPTION YOU'VE GOT.
YES, NOT THE ONLY OPTION.
THERE-- THERE ARE OTHER-- - THERE ARE NO OTHER OPTIONS.
- WE COULD BRING IN A KID FROM ANOTHER SCHOOL.
- NOT IN 10 DAYS.
- I JUST DON'T THINK THIS IS THE ANSWER.
- NOT IN 10 DAYS.
- THIS ANSWER IS RIDICULOUS.
HE KNOWS IT PERFECTLY.
- I DON'T THINK-- - WHAT DO YOU RECKON, TOBE? - YES.
- DO YOU WAN TO BE MR.
G? YES.
- WELL-- - KIDS, WHO THINKS TOBY SHOULD STEP IN TO BE MR.
G IN THE MUSICAL? - Kids: YEAH! - IT'S RIDICULOUS, RODNEY.
IT IS RIDICULOUS.
IT'S NOT, MAN.
JUST GIVE US A SMILE AND SAY YES.
I'M NOT GOING TO SMILE.
YOU ARE.
COME ON.
COME ON, MAN.
- THE PERFECT OPTION.
- ( whispers ) DON'T PUT ME ON THE SPOT, PLEASE.
HE'S THE PERFECT OPTION.
COME ON.
THERE YOU ARE.
THAT'S IT.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
- THAT'S IT? GOT IT.
- YES YES, ALL RIGHT.
- BRILLIANT.
- TOBY'S THE NEW MR.
G.
- ( cheering ) WELL DONE! ( hip-hop music playing ) THERE THEY ARE.
Jonah: I KNEW THEY'D FUCKIN' GO STRAIGHT THERE.
Peterson: MISS WHEATLEY HAS SUCCESSFULLY PUT AN END TO THE RIDICULOUS TURF WARS THAT THE ISLANDER BOYS SEEM SO OBSESSED WITH.
KEIRAN! KEIRAN! - JUST CAME TO SAY HELLO.
- YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED HERE ANYMORE.
- Leon: YES, WE ARE.
- WE CAN GO WHEREVER WE WANT-- 10 METER RULE.
- YOU'RE TOO CLOSE.
- THIS IS 10 METERS, MOTHERFUCKER.
GET A RULER IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.
WHY DON'T YOU BOYS GO CHECK OUT YOUR LOCKERS? - HOW COME? - Jonah: JUST GO CHECK 'EM OUT.
- WHY? - SEE WHAT YOU SEE.
Peterson: JONAH NOW SEEMS TO BE ABLE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS OWN ACTIONS.
AND I THINK THIS IS A DIRECT RESUL OF THE POLYNESIAN PATHWAYS PROGRAM, THAT HE IS SLOWLY LEARNING THE RIGHT WAY TO BEHAVE.
- OH, SHIT.
- WHAT THE HELL? WHOA.
CELINE, CALM DOWN, PLEASE.
- ALL RIGHT.
- ( growls ) REPEATING AFTER ME.
- COME ON, JESSICA.
- COME ON, JESSICA.
"YOU DON'T NEED DRUGS TO HAVE FUN.
" - "YOU DON'T NEED DRUGS TO HAVE FUN.
" - WE'VE GOT A NEW MR.
G-- TOBY-- AND HE'S ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT UP THERE.
"I'M ALWAYS HAVING FUN AND I DON'T NEED DRUGS.
" "I ALWAYS HAVE FUN.
DON'T NEED DRUGS.
" - SAY IT TO HER.
- OH, WHOOPS.
Rodney's voice: HE'S GOT AN ALMOST PERFEC RECALL FOR STAGE DIRECTION.
I THINK THE REAL MR.
G IS QUITE IMPRESSED BY HOW WELL HE'S SLOTTED IN.
I HAVE FUN AND DON'T NEED THEM.
Mr.
G's voice: HE'S NOT OVERPLAYING THE CHARACTER LIKE MATTHEW DID.
- YOU ARE NAILING THIS.
- REALLY GOOD, TOBE.
HE'S NOT SORT OF, YOU KNOW, PONCING AROUND.
HE'S-- HE'S BRINGING A SORT OF MASCULINE QUALITY TO THE ROLE, WHICH IS MORE IN KEEPING WITH THE MR.
G CHARACTER.
AND YOU WALK HER BACK TO CLASS.
Mr.
G's voice: I'M HAPPY WITH-- WITH HOW THINGS ARE GOING.
IT'S ALL GOING SO WELL.
YOU KNOW, TOUCH WOOD.
MR.
G! MR.
G! IT'S CELINE! - SHE RAN OUT TO THE ROAD.
- THE CAR-- IT HER.
I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THE BLOODY DOOR SHUT.
- WHERE IS SHE? - JUST OUTSIDE.
- Girl: WHAT HAPPENED? - Girl #2: HIS DOG GOT RUN OVER.
OH MY GOD, DID YOU SEE IT? - IS SHE OKAY? - WHAT'S HAPPENED? - BY A CAR? - CELINE GOT RUN OVER.
- CELINE'S BEEN HIT BY A CAR.
- IS SHE ALL RIGHT? - Girl: DON'T KNOW.
- OH MY GOSH.
( murmuring ) YEAR 11 FORMAL TICKETS! YEAR 11 FORMAL TICKETS.
450 BUCKS.
HAVE YOU GOT THE MONEY ON YOU TODAY? - NO ONE'S BUYING THEM.
- DID YOU SELL ANY? WE'VE SOLD NOTHING.
- ( all chattering ) - HI, JA'MIE.
- OH, HI.
- HOW ARE YOU? GOOD, YEAH, I'M REALLY GOOD.
UM, I HAD A BIG THINK ABOUT I AND I THINK IT'S A REALLY GOOD IDEA.
- TO GO TO THE FORMAL WITH ME? - YEAH.
- YES! - YEAH, I WOULD LOVE TO GO.
HOW COOL.
IT'S SO EXCITING.
- WE'RE GONNA HAVE THE BEST NIGHT.
- YEAH, IT'LL BE REALLY GOOD.
UM, IF YOU NEED TO TALK AT ALL ABOUT THE WHOLE COMING OUT THING-- OH, YEAH, I'M COOL.
- I'M OKAY ABOUT IT.
- YOU SURE? YEAH, I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN.
I WAS JUST BORN THIS WAY.
- UM, YEAH.
- GOOD.
- WE'LL MESSAGE EACH OTHER.
- OKAY, COOL.
- WELL, SEE YOU.
- BYE.
- BYE.
- BYE.
OH MY GOD, DON'T FREAK OUT.
- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M NOT A LESBIAN.
OH MY GOD.
- GUYS, SERIOUSLY.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
- ARE YOU A LESBIAN? - DON'T WORRY.
NO, I TOLD HER I WAS A LESBIAN SO SHE'D SAY YES TO TAKE ME TO THE FORMAL.
WHY THE HELL DO YOU WAN TO GO TO THE FORMAL WITH A LESBIAN? - DON'T YOU GET IT? - NO.
SHE IS LIKE THE SECOND- HOTTEST GIRL IN YEAR 11.
- BUT SHE'S A LESBIAN.
- THE COMBINATION OF HER AND I IS GONNA BE AWESOME, SERIOUSLY.
- IT'S GONNA BLOW EVERYONE'S MIND.
- OH MY GOD.
- THIS IS LIKE-- YOU'RE A LESBIAN? - THINK ABOUT IT.
LIKE, WHEN WE TURN UP TO THE NIGHTCLUB, WE GET OUT OF THE LIMO, EVERYONE'S GONNA GO SCHIZO.
- CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? - SO, IT'S FAKE? - Ja'mie: YEAH, IT'S TOTALLY-- - OH MY GOD.
- EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU SURE? - I AM FAKING BEING A LESBIAN.
I AM NOT A LESBIAN.
- I TOTALLY KNOW YOUR PLAN.
IT'S LIKE TO STAND OUT.
- IT'S DISGUSTING EVEN TO JOKE.
- TO GO WITH A LESBIAN-- - IT'S GONNA BE BIGGER THAN YOU AND THE WHEELCHAIR GUY.
NO, IT WILL MAKE YOU STAND OUT SO MUCH.
- IT'LL BE LIKE OH MY GOD.
- IT'S GONNA BE SO COOL.
GET OVER IT, JESS.
IT'S GONNA BE THE BEST THING EVER.
LIKE WE SHOULD DO AWARDS AND WE'LL HAVE LIKE THE HOTTES LESBIAN COUPLE AWARD - YES! - AND ME AND TAMSIN CAN WIN IT.
- I GOT SUSPENDED! - ( cheering ) Jonah: THREE-DAY SUSPENSION! I HAD TO GO SEE MISS MURRAY, AND SHE SAID THAT MY DAD HAD TO PAY FOR THE LOCKERS TO BE FIXED AND REPAINTED AND SHIT.
AND DAD SAID FUCK OFF TO THEM.
SUSPENDED! AND PEDOPHILE PETE SAID THAT IF I FUCK UP AGAIN THEY WANT MY DAD TO SEND ME TO A PRIVATE SCHOOL FOR PROBLEM BOYS.
- YOUR DAD LOOKS ANGRY, MAN.
- I KNOW, HE'S PISSED.
YOU DO THAT SHIT AGAIN, I'LL SEND YOU BACK TO TONGA.
I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU SEND ME BACK TO TONGA.
THERE'S MAD BREAK-DANCERS IN TONGA.
I WANT TO GO THERE.
- I'M GONNA SMACK YOU TONIGHT.
- THAT'S CHILD ABUSE IF YOU DO.
AND YOU DIDN'T TURN UP TO POLY DAY, MOTHERFUCKER.
YOU OWE ME.
NOW, I'VE JUST SPOKEN TO MR.
G, HE'S CALLED.
HE'S ON HIS WAY BACK FROM THE VET.
UNFORTUNATELY CELINE HAS DIED.
NOW, WHEN MR.
G GETS BACK TODAY, HE'S OBVIOUSLY GOING TO BE VERY UPSET.
I WOULD ASK THAT YOU ALL TAKE THAT INTO CONSIDERATION.
LET'S MOVE INTO THE FIRST POSITIONS FOR "SCHOOL THESE DAYS," THE REPRISE, PLEASE.
OKAY, CAST.
WE WILL RUN THROUGH THE WHOLE NUMBER TO THE END.
DANCERS, HEADS DOWN, PLEASE, REMEMBERING JAZZ RUN-IN WITH RIGHT FOOT FIRST.
THANK YOU, RODNEY.
( piano music playing ) SCHOOL THESE DAYS YOU'D HAVE TO BE A FOOL THESE DAYS TO WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL THESE DAYS SCHOOL THESE DAYS SCHOOL IS THUGS, SEX AND DRUGS IT'S NOT LIKE IT USED TO BE TO WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL THESE DAYS SCHOOL THESE DAYS DON'T WAN TO GO TO SCHOOL DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL.
GUYS, FORMAL ISSUE.
THERE'S NO WAY HE'S DOING IT UNLESS WE GIVE HIM FULL PAYMENT.
IT'S A SERIOUS ISSUE, GUYS.
- WE'LL DO LIKE A DRESS-UP DAY.
- THAT'S, LIKE, PAYING - FOR OUR FORMAL.
- TO RAISE IMPORTANT FUNDS FOR AIDS IN AFRICA.
I DON'T REALLY SEE IT AS LYING.
AIDS MONEY, AIDS IN AFRICA.
( dance music plays ) JA'MIE'S IN A MASSIVE AMOUNT OF TROUBLE.
LOOK, WE'RE REALLY RICH, SO JUST NAME YOUR PRICE AND WE'LL SORT IT OUT.
Jan: TO BE HONEST, I'M A BI WORRIED ABOUT JONAH.
DOUG'S TAKING THIS REALLY HARD LINE WITH HIM.
ONE TIME YOU GE CAUGHT BREAK-DANCING AND YOU ARE OUT OF HERE! WE GOT A TEXT MESSAGE FROM KEIRAN.
HE WANTS TO HAVE A BREAK-DANCING CHALLENGE.
HE'S GONNA GO AROUND THE WHOLE SCHOOL TELLING EVERYONE I'M NO A GOOD ENOUGH BREAK-DANCER.
THE ONLY RULE WE HAVE IS NO ROGs OR FOBs.
Jonah: I KNOW IF I TAKE REVENGE ON HIM, I'LL GET FUCKIN' EXPELLED OR SOME SHIT.
I'M SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DOG.
YOU NEVER SAID "GREAT, THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
" I'M BLOODY RESIGNING.
FUCK OFF, EVERYONE.
Mr.
G's voice: WELL, I'M LEAVING AT THE END OF TODAY.
IT'S MY LAST DAY TODAY.
MR.
G'S LAST DAY! Mr.
G's voice: I'VE COME TO THE END.
AND IT FEELS RIGHT.
Rodney: WHY HAVE YOU SPEN ALL DAY TODAY DRIVING UP AND DOWN OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL? IT'S ON MY WAY TO THE SHOPS.
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? - THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
- I'M SUPPORTING HIM! - TRUST ME FOR ONCE.
- YOU SPAZZ.
- THAT'S REALLY MEAN.
- YOU SPAZZ.
- THAT'S REALLY MEAN.