Superjail! (2007) s01e06 Episode Script
Terrorarium
Aah! Aah! Aah! Oh! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aaaah! Aaaaah! Oh! Aah! Aah! # Oh, life on the outside ain't what it used to be # # You know, the world's gone crazy # # And it ain't safe on the street # # Oh, we're losing track # # And I know there's only one place to go # # I'm coming home # # Whoa, yeah # # I'm coming home # Aah! Hmm.
Ugh! Nighty-night.
Mildly interesting.
Boring.
Lame.
Moronic.
Pbht! Aah! I have judged all the entries for the Superjail science extravaganza, and I am more than pleased to announce the winner is me! Ladies and gentlemen, I present my terrorarium! I need five volunteers.
Aah! Perfect.
Each of these lucky inmates will become mini-inmates, shrunken with my awesome microtechnology, so they can battle the forces of nature and test their will to survive inside my terrorarium! Ohh! Aah! My terrorarium may be tiny, but it's full of big adventure! Watch them run for their lives through a jungle maze filled with nasty, terrible, hungry critters, who love the taste of naughty inmates.
The only survivor will be the first one to cross the finish line and drink the reward a vial of growth serum, which will return them to normal size! I want to play.
Look.
I won.
I will leave the winner a consolation "sur-prize.
" Well, as soon as I pick up my trophy, we'll have a party to acknowledge my classy choice not to celebrate my victory.
Sir, there's a slight problem with the trophy it won't be here until next week.
What?! I told you I wanted my trophy here today! Sir, making a trophy from 800 pounds of Egyptian gold accented with Burmese sapphire takes some time.
Well, thanks for ruining the biggest day of my life! Where do you think you're going? You're not invited to my humility party.
As your punishment, move that vat of growth serum back to the closet.
Besides, you're not tall enough for this ride! Stupid warden.
Too small.
Stupid party.
Mumbling to myself.
Stupid trophy.
Bobo.
Tell my daughter that I always loved her! You don't have a daughter.
Oh, right! Look.
It's so graceful, like a ballerina of the sky.
Aww.
Aah! Just what I need a hot, steamy dip with my friends.
Sorry.
No nerds allowed.
Bobo! Jared, what have you done?! But but but Now you're ruining my party.
Go clean up your latest mess before I demote you to prison guard! What? I'm just with him.
Aah! Bobo! Okay, ew.
I told you this was a bad idea, but, no, you went ahead and did it, anyway.
Well, I'm putting a stop to your little Frankenstein experiment.
No, wait! We can ride this wall-smashing monster to freedom! Ha-rumph! Maybe you're right, but if you think we're keeping this thing when we get out of here, you can forget it, mister.
Ah! Oh, whoa! Both: Aah! I haven't had a bite all day.
It's all work, work, work.
Oh, sorry.
Already taken.
Maybe you should try the kiddy table.
Whoops.
Who tied his panties in a knot? Ah! Congratulations! You've won terrorarium! Now please drink your prize.
I understand you, Jared.
Need a shoulder to cry on? Mine's got a nougaty center.
Chocolate is clinically proven to reduce depression.
Jared, shove my deep, dark chocolate down your throat.
Oh! Let me cream in your mouth! Thirsty need a drink! No milk! Try this to quench your thirst For power.
Yes! Yes! Mmm.
Aah! What's going on?! Wake up, loser.
I need you to fill out this ugh, you're such a disgusting slob.
I've had enough of your abuse! Let's settle this, man to woman-man.
Little baby decided to grow some balls.
Now that you're a man, why don't you hold the door for a lady?! Oh, I'm sorry.
Is there a lady present? Somebody hungry for some thigh pie? Would you like that a la mode?! Ring, ring.
The phone's for you.
Will you accept the charges?! Aah! There's a paper jam.
Can you take a look?! Alice doesn't live here anymore.
Why don't you file this under "x" for "x-treme beatdown"?! Ohh! Aah! Ohh.
Aah! I'm rich! Ahh.
Oh? Oh.
Ohh! Aah! Aaaaah! Miniature mayhem that's my kind of sandwich.
Aah! Whoa! Aah! Aah! Aah! Whoa! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Oh! Ohh! Aah! Oh! Oh, whoa! No! Bobo? We've got your whole world in our hands.
Ugh! Nighty-night.
Mildly interesting.
Boring.
Lame.
Moronic.
Pbht! Aah! I have judged all the entries for the Superjail science extravaganza, and I am more than pleased to announce the winner is me! Ladies and gentlemen, I present my terrorarium! I need five volunteers.
Aah! Perfect.
Each of these lucky inmates will become mini-inmates, shrunken with my awesome microtechnology, so they can battle the forces of nature and test their will to survive inside my terrorarium! Ohh! Aah! My terrorarium may be tiny, but it's full of big adventure! Watch them run for their lives through a jungle maze filled with nasty, terrible, hungry critters, who love the taste of naughty inmates.
The only survivor will be the first one to cross the finish line and drink the reward a vial of growth serum, which will return them to normal size! I want to play.
Look.
I won.
I will leave the winner a consolation "sur-prize.
" Well, as soon as I pick up my trophy, we'll have a party to acknowledge my classy choice not to celebrate my victory.
Sir, there's a slight problem with the trophy it won't be here until next week.
What?! I told you I wanted my trophy here today! Sir, making a trophy from 800 pounds of Egyptian gold accented with Burmese sapphire takes some time.
Well, thanks for ruining the biggest day of my life! Where do you think you're going? You're not invited to my humility party.
As your punishment, move that vat of growth serum back to the closet.
Besides, you're not tall enough for this ride! Stupid warden.
Too small.
Stupid party.
Mumbling to myself.
Stupid trophy.
Bobo.
Tell my daughter that I always loved her! You don't have a daughter.
Oh, right! Look.
It's so graceful, like a ballerina of the sky.
Aww.
Aah! Just what I need a hot, steamy dip with my friends.
Sorry.
No nerds allowed.
Bobo! Jared, what have you done?! But but but Now you're ruining my party.
Go clean up your latest mess before I demote you to prison guard! What? I'm just with him.
Aah! Bobo! Okay, ew.
I told you this was a bad idea, but, no, you went ahead and did it, anyway.
Well, I'm putting a stop to your little Frankenstein experiment.
No, wait! We can ride this wall-smashing monster to freedom! Ha-rumph! Maybe you're right, but if you think we're keeping this thing when we get out of here, you can forget it, mister.
Ah! Oh, whoa! Both: Aah! I haven't had a bite all day.
It's all work, work, work.
Oh, sorry.
Already taken.
Maybe you should try the kiddy table.
Whoops.
Who tied his panties in a knot? Ah! Congratulations! You've won terrorarium! Now please drink your prize.
I understand you, Jared.
Need a shoulder to cry on? Mine's got a nougaty center.
Chocolate is clinically proven to reduce depression.
Jared, shove my deep, dark chocolate down your throat.
Oh! Let me cream in your mouth! Thirsty need a drink! No milk! Try this to quench your thirst For power.
Yes! Yes! Mmm.
Aah! What's going on?! Wake up, loser.
I need you to fill out this ugh, you're such a disgusting slob.
I've had enough of your abuse! Let's settle this, man to woman-man.
Little baby decided to grow some balls.
Now that you're a man, why don't you hold the door for a lady?! Oh, I'm sorry.
Is there a lady present? Somebody hungry for some thigh pie? Would you like that a la mode?! Ring, ring.
The phone's for you.
Will you accept the charges?! Aah! There's a paper jam.
Can you take a look?! Alice doesn't live here anymore.
Why don't you file this under "x" for "x-treme beatdown"?! Ohh! Aah! Ohh.
Aah! I'm rich! Ahh.
Oh? Oh.
Ohh! Aah! Aaaaah! Miniature mayhem that's my kind of sandwich.
Aah! Whoa! Aah! Aah! Aah! Whoa! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Oh! Ohh! Aah! Oh! Oh, whoa! No! Bobo? We've got your whole world in our hands.