Survival of the Thickest (2023) s01e06 Episode Script

1
When I was a kid
I had a dream I would be the greatest ♪
Whatever I did, whatever I wished
I was gonna make it ♪
Thank you.
You is kind. You is smart.
You is important.
Oh my God, I'm nervous.
I'm quoting the poo-poo-pie movie.
Okay.
Come in!
And we did it
Now we on our way to get it, yeah ♪
Nicole Byer!
Oh, Mavis from #MavisKilled.
- Hi.
- Hi! Come on in, baby!
- Oh my.
- Hi!
My God, I have watched that funeral video,
like, a million times,
and you know I love drag.
I have seen your work at CC Bloom's.
You know how to make us
cute little fatties look good!
Thank you so much.
I am so sorry
I told you to go fuck yourself
three times till Thursday.
I thought I was being catfished
when you DMed me, but I wasn't.
You're real. This is real.
So listen, I am launching a line
of big-bitch lingerie next Friday,
and I thought I could handle launching it
with my team,
but I need a little help zhuzhing up
the final looks for me and my models.
And I thought, who better than the woman
who made Natasha Karina look gorgeous
while dropping a strap-on into a casket?
Death and dildos, that's me.
You wild, girl!
I can't believe I get to work
with that queen.
This is it.
This is my fucking calling, my purpose.
I wanna work with beautiful thickums
and make them feel good about themselves
and make them feel stylish and look fly.
- And I'm doin' it. I'm doin' it.
- You doin' it.
- I'm doin' it!
- Yo, Mave, I'm so proud of you.
- Told you it was gonna happen.
- Thank you.
You must be celebrating 'cause it looked
like you was hammered at Jo-Ann's earlier.
Cocaine and I have told her
to put her work stuff in her room,
and she just won't listen
to either one of us.
Sorry, Jade. My career is plus-size,
and this apartment is petite.
I'm booked, blessed, busy.
Let's celebrate
my second celebrity client.
Yeah!
Buh-bom-bom, buh-buh-bom ♪
Uh, uh, uh-uh ♪
Stop, drop ♪
Shut 'em down, open up shop ♪
Oh, no ♪
That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪
Stop, drop ♪
Shut 'em down, open up shop ♪
- I think she gonna say it.
- I hope she don't.
Oh, no ♪
That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪
Buddies wanna try ♪
Buddies wanna lie ♪
Then buddies wonder why ♪
- Okay!
- Oh snap! Oh!
All I know is pain ♪
All I feel is rain ♪
Okay ♪
One time for the big girls
In the crowd ♪
Hey! Hear me now ♪
Go on, sis, yeah
Show 'em how to work it out ♪
Nicole!
This is stunning!
I mean, as if big bitches and lacy panties
wasn't exciting enough!
Look at the colors.
I love it.
We're always getting put
in a Christmas red
or a clinical beige, but this?
Beige? Girl, I don't know her.
I am a walking, talking bag of Skittles.
You know I had to put that in my line.
I love that. Oh! So sorry. Um
So, uh, the colors. Um
The yellow, the blue, the orange,
the purple, the green
It all reminded me
of the birds-of-paradise flower.
So I was thinking
that I could style your models
to be the Baddies of Paradise.
You know,
just a lot of plants, flowers, vines,
and a beautiful bouquet of fatty baddies.
- Shut up. I love it!
- Hoo!
Baddies of Paradise is perfect.
Uh! Uh! Uh!
I also think that, um, we should hire
all types of thick models.
Um, all different races,
gender expressions. Trans women as well.
We are on the same page, girl.
Okay.
Wow! Whoever's blowing up your phone
like that
better be giving you some dick or puss.
I don't know what you're into.
Also I'm inclusive.
I love that for you. It's just work.
Also, we could take
the birds-of-paradise flower
and put it in each model's
Titty meat or booty crack.
I was gonna say their hair.
Yes, that is much classier.
See, that's why I need you.
You're my class! Give it here!
- Oh!
- Come on!
- Yes!
- Aw!
Luca, I am so sorry I've been so busy.
I'm sure this is the first thing
I've had to eat in two days.
Are you in the middle of something?
Yeah, I was just getting accessories
for the lingerie launch.
Then I gotta go to a plant store, and
Oh, then I gotta go to Natasha's
because she's just blowin' me up.
I got it, I got it, okay.
We just haven't had the chance to talk.
Oh my God.
Natasha's calling me right now, babe.
I gotta go. I'm so sorry.
Let's catch up later.
Don't worry. No problem.
- Ciao.
- Don't work too hard.
Hey, Natasha. I'm on my way.
Honestly, why is my phone smoking
from missed calls and text messages?
Would you look what pussycat dragged in?
Hi, Peppermint!
Mavis, we have won a Webby Award
for my speech from Bradley's funeral.
What?
And my iconic remix of the speech
from Bradley's funeral.
Oh my God. Don't make me cry.
It's too easy. I just started my period.
- Finally, a red carpet! We did it!
- We did it!
We did do it!
Okay, well, we don't have a lot of time.
The Webbys are next Friday night.
Natasha, I can 1,000% do both things.
Excuse me?
Nicole Byer has hired me
to style her lingerie launch.
Also next Friday.
Girl, look at you.
Celebrity stylist!
Oh my gosh!
Okay, okay, okay.
Why are you styling these randoms?
You're my stylist. You're my right hand.
What about me?
Why does everybody always
make it about them? Bruce.
Natasha, I need
more celebrity clients to build my brand.
Can I please have this bracelet?
I don't care.
You know, I made the Mavis-kill hashtag,
so it's not a stretch
to say that I made you.
Um, actually, I started the hashtag.
There's some necklaces over there.
Natasha, I am so proud of all the work
we've done together these last few months,
and I promise I will not let you down,
especially on the red carpet.
Fine.
Style that little Muppet if you want to.
But every minute that I need you,
you better be there.
- I will.
- I will.
Tell me you ain't gotta go ♪
- Oh man!
- That's my baby.
Look at little man. He any good?
Well, um
No, he's terrible.
But he likes the pizza after,
so, you know
All right.
- Hi, I'm
- Hey.
Oh. Khalil.
Hey, girl.
How you How you been?
- Good actually.
- Good.
Much better
than right after you ghosted me.
Did I?
- You know, I work.
- Mm.
You know, yeah.
I been real busy with work.
Oh, is that why my text messages
turned green?
I was just hitting you up to get
my hoops back that I left at your place.
Do you know what?
I will make sure
he gets those back to you, sis.
Can we start with some water, please?
- Of course.
- Thank you.
- I'll be right back with that.
- Thank you.
Can you believe her?
I mean, just watching me
sit here with you right now,
coming at me like that.
So unprofessional.
Look.
I know you've changed, but she doesn't.
And you can't treat women like that
and expect them not to react.
You right.
- She about to put something in our food.
- Oh yeah.
- But leave a tip.
- Already on it.
- Fresh and dap.
- I think we both are. It's like
Hey.
- Hi, Jordan.
- Mavis!
How you doin'?
Good. Good. Good.
Okay. That's great. You're good.
Can you, uh just give us a minute, bro?
Yes, thought you'd never ask.
It's good to see you.
You out shopping?
Yeah, I got clients on the red carpet,
so I'm pulling some looks for them.
Okay, Mave.
And I am also styling
Nicole Byer's lingerie launch, so
Mavis! This is huge.
Come on now.
I'm sorry. This This is, uh
This is just very exciting.
You out here making it
like I knew you would.
Wait. This is not about me.
You out here making it
like you knew you would.
You know that's right.
You the hardest-working person I know.
We're always gonna be running
the same circles.
The same industry.
So maybe at some point, we'll be
more comfortable running into each other,
saying hi,
checking in.
- Maybe.
- Oh my gosh.
Not listening. I'm sorry.
I just This makes me so happy.
Look, Bonita Applebum ♪
Look like Sanaa Lathan ♪
Low-ride jeans with a G-string thong ♪
She the hottest thing
That's up in the place ♪
Hey.
Hey.
Look, I know this is probably coming
way too late in the game,
but I owe you an apology.
I'm sorry I never called you back.
Yeah, way too late.
I mean, I knew you were a fuckboi,
but I thought
you were one of the nice ones.
Crazy thing is so did I.
But, you know, I'm workin' on it.
I'm, you know, growing, gettin' better.
How 'bout runnin' away from me
every time you see me in the past year?
You sorry for that too?
What? What do you mean running?
There wasn't nobody running.
Girl, come on now.
A'ight.
I'm sorry about that too.
It's not even like
I've been trying to date you.
I got a man now. A good one too.
That's dope. I mean, I got somebody too.
Okay, Khalil, I see you.
Okay, Stephanie.
- Melanie.
- Are you sure?
It's not Oh shit!
Melanie, I'm growing!
It takes time to grow!
I trip, I keep on goin' ♪
- Day, can you let a bit out in the booty?
- Got it.
Sorry not sorry.
Blessed with ass for weeks.
Praise him, girl.
Look, God done gave you two full cups.
I'm not mad at it.
Day, can we also, um
The titty meat. We just need, um
- Two pinches? I got you.
- I've never felt so got.
- Listen, I didn't forget about you.
- Uh-huh.
My launch is all about
celebrating thick baddies,
so I got a little somethin'-somethin'
for you to wear.
Oh my goodness, Nicole.
I literally cannot wait!
Keep in mind she has abandonment issues.
Oh, Nicole Byer, hi.
- Hello.
- Bruce, what do you
When she was 18,
her family turned their backs on her.
When she was 36 and gained 20 pounds,
the fashion industry abandoned her.
She thinks you're next.
So I am sorry, but all of that unprocessed
trauma's about to land at your feet.
Hello!
Oh, it's so dark and small in here.
Hi.
Hey. I, um, told you I was gonna come
to your place right after this.
Oh, well, I wanted to make
your life easier, so I came to you.
Natasha Karina, girl, I love you.
Oh, that's so sweet,
and I don't even know who you are.
Natasha, let's not Mariah-Carey Nicole
right now, okay?
It's okay, queen. Put me in my place.
Oh! Yellow.
That's a choice.
Okay. You know what? It's a hot color.
- I'll be right back. I'm so sorry.
- Do I look like a Peep?
- Is she gonna be an act?
- It's not yellow. It is marigold.
Natasha, I really wanna be respectful
of your feelings,
but this is above and beyond,
even for you.
What? Bruce wanted to meet
Nicole whatever-her-name-is.
Yep. Yeah, that's right.
That Whatever she said is true.
Yeah, and it's worth mentioning
that fat bitch can't serve a look
like I can.
And before you say anything,
fat people say it's okay to say fat now.
Not the way you say it,
and I'm a fat person.
Natasha, I said I would be at your house
in an hour,
and that's the time I'm gonna be there.
Okay, relax, Mavis.
We were just swinging by.
Gee, does anybody sweep around here?
I just I feel so guilty.
I feel like I'm cheating on her.
I'm triggered. I'm cheating triggered.
I'm chiggered.
I'm chiggered. Is that a thing?
I don't know, but it should be.
Yeah, I don't know what that means.
Uh
Let me ask you questions,
rapid-fire style.
- Oh boy.
- Who hired you first for Friday?
- Nicole.
- Does Natasha like her red-carpet look?
Her couture look? Absolutely yes.
Do have a lifelong struggle
setting boundaries
that can make you a total people-pleaser?
Okay, yes,
but that's not how we play this game.
Mavis, you the one that said
you wanted to grow your brand, a'ight,
and make people feel good
about their bodies and what they wear.
Yeah.
But you can't deal with Natasha
making you feel guilty
about having another celebrity client.
It's time to put Mavis first.
That's what you said you was gonna do
when you left Jacque, right?
Okay.
Ew. Did you have to sip your drink
like that?
I only drink like that
when I know I'm right.
I'm so tired.
Mm.
Can't wait to sleep.
The fuck?
What the fuck?
You, what the fuck? Jade, what the fuck?
What? What?
There is a random dude sleeping in my bed.
My God, that's Barry from the bagel shop.
He's not random.
This is completely inconsiderate.
- Inconsiderate?
- Yes.
- Me?
- Yes.
- Seriously?
- Yes!
If you wanna see inconsiderate,
why don't you look around the apartment?
Well, all I seem to see right now
is your friend in my bed.
The only reason he's sleeping in your bed
is 'cause he usually sleeps on the couch,
which I paid for,
but it is covered in your shit.
So move my shit!
I don't care. Move the shit off the couch,
or go in the bathroom
and have him sleep in the tub.
Really? Guess what?
Your shit's all over there too!
Jade. I am the busiest
I've ever been in my life.
And don't think that I don't know
that you use my towels.
I was drying my face the other day,
and I smelled you.
It was disgusting.
I can't even use my oils anymore
because, you know,
we gotta protect the garments,
protect the garments.
You know, I make an effort.
I'm fun. I'm quirky, okay?
Nobody would wanna live with you. Nobody.
Wow.
You know what?
I'm setting some boundaries, okay?
You do not come in my room.
- You are not welcome.
- Fine!
Don't you dare try to eat
one of my bagels tomorrow.
- I know you eat my bagels.
- I'm gonna eat the fuck outta your bagels.
Those are payments from Barry to me!
I'm gonna lick all your bagels
like Ariana Grande in a donut shop.
- Don't think I won't!
- Oh my God.
Are you wearing my fucking T-shirt, Barry?
So she, for real, just had on a top hat
like Lisa Bonet in the '90s?
No, I'm talking exact replica.
I mean, glasses and everything.
Mm.
But as a former fuck-man,
it felt good to actually own my shit
and apologize.
And to be honest with you, it feels good
to be able to tell you about it.
Something about you
that makes me wanna be better.
And that's for you and me.
Baby, that's so sweet.
I actually called some other girls too.
Really? What they say?
Uh, well, you know,
some stuff I can't repeat.
But one girl did call me, and I quote,
"The ashiest nigga in America."
Yeah.
Oh my God.
And I think I might have a fatwa now.
Uh, I like you, but I am not
going into witness protection.
So
You know, as I'm on
my grown-nigga shit now,
Mm-hmm.
I wanna take us to the next level.
I wanna spend more time with you,
and not just the weekends
we don't have Cooper.
I wanna get to know him too.
Well, I think maybe
we should take it slow with Cooper,
but I'd really like to spend
more time with you.
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll definitely take it slow
with little man.
I mean, he gonna be trying
to cock-block me anyway.
I had a single mom.
I used to be cock-blocking.
I was a cock-block ninja.
Well, I would never let that happen
because Mama has her needs, okay?
- Oh, Mama got some needs?
- Mm-hmm.
What kind of needs Mama got, huh?
Let me see if I can find
some of these needs that you got.
Is this a need right here?
Hmm? I think I found one.
Is that How about Is that a
I got my city on my shoulders ♪
I gotta work work work ♪
Don't want no pity, I'm a soldier ♪
Oh God.
I gotta work work work ♪
I got my city on my shoulders ♪
I gotta work work work ♪
Mavis, is everything okay?
It's the middle of the night for you.
Hey, I am so sorry to call you so early,
but I just saw an email from Air Italia.
Did you send me a nonrefundable
middle-seat ticket to go see you?
It might be a middle seat,
but it's an exit row.
Luca, I just can't drop everything
and go to Italy right now, okay?
It's like you're not listening
when I tell you what my work week is like.
I know it's busy.
That's why I sent you the ticket.
I think you're working too hard.
You don't look good.
- Excuse me?
- No. You are beautiful.
It just seems you don't have time
to eat or sleep, like right now.
I think you need to find balance
in your life.
Oh! Okay, yes.
Please tell me what I need
to find in my life. That is rich.
Listen, we don't have the luxury
of three-hour pasta breaks
or four-month vacations here, okay?
But please, please tell me
about this balance that I need to find.
Why is this ticket making you upset?
This ticket, other than the middle seat,
is very romantic.
Yes?
You take a break and come here.
I'll show you my neighborhood.
We'll have fun.
But it's also very unrealistic.
I can't just live my life
with my head in the clouds.
I work really hard,
and I love working hard,
and I wanna succeed.
I thought you wanted us
to be around each other.
I do. I just don't know how
to make time for us and time for myself.
Okay.
This is not the way
I thought this would go.
Well, maybe it's just
I don't know.
Listen, um
I'm gonna let you go.
I have a lot of work to do,
and we'll just talk later, okay?
Okay. We'll talk later.
Ciao.
Ciao.
- You're beautiful.
- I know.
Okay.
Where are you goin'?
I'm goin' to the launch party.
Okay? You're in good hands.
Bruce knows exactly what to do.
Do not leave me.
- Yes, you do. Yes, you do.
- Stay. Stay here.
Mavis, I, uh
I made a decision.
I want you to be my stylist exclusively.
So
how much?
It's not about the money, Natasha.
I am I'm trying to grow my brand.
Has it ever occurred to you
just to be happy for me?
No.
I'll give you a monthly salary.
How's 10,000?
10,000 what?
Dollars, Mavis.
And go gentle on Nicole. She's a fan.
I just need you
to sign this three-year contract.
Three years?
Okay, um Uh
- Natasha.
- Yeah?
While this is life-changing,
I-don't-need-a-roommate-anymore
kind of money
my brand can't be all about you.
I need to put myself first.
Mavis, if you walk out that door,
there's no coming back.
I mean it.
We're done.
Well, you know what?
I'm pretty good at breakups.
I be on the next
I see it, I don't stop ♪
Nicole Byer presents
the Baddies of Paradise.
I be on the next
I see it, I don't stop ♪
Bom-bom ba-dom-bom, bom-bom ♪
Bom-bom ba-dom-bom ♪
You did all this. It's amazing.
I know! You know what?
Everyone looks so gorgeous,
and I can tell
that they feel gorgeous too.
You look great, too, by the way.
Oh, I know I'm fine as fuck. Okay?
Nicole, the collection is so beautiful.
How did you come up
with the birds-of-paradise theme?
I can't take credit.
It was my beautiful stylist Mavis.
Mavis, Mavis, come over here
and tell us your inspiration, please?
Oh, oh, okay.
So, basically, um
plus-size women
are always being told to shrink.
You know, literally everyone's telling us
to lose weight, be smaller,
but the birds-of-paradise flowers,
they bloom when there's enough light,
and so, I just really wanted
to take beautiful kings and queens
and nonbinary royalty
and just showcase them
in beautiful bright,
bold colors in the light
because they haven't let the world
shame them into shrinking.
Mavis.
Ma-vis!
Ayo!
Hey, hey. How'd it all go?
It was good and bad, all at the same time.
I think I did something stupid,
but I think it was the right thing.
Was it stupid? Answer me, Khalil!
Yo, Mavis, you okay?
I just quit working for Natasha,
which is good, right? It's brave.
This was a one-time thing with Nicole,
and, um, Natasha offered me
$10,000 a month.
What?
I didn't just fuck up
my whole life, right?
I mean, there'll be other jobs, right?
- Oh. But it's good, right?
- Mavis, you breathing a little funny.
I, uh
I can hear my heartbeat in my ears.
It's so loud. Do you hear what I
- Find a seat somewhere. Sit down.
- Oh, my heartbeat's so
- Take deep breaths. You're just exhausted.
- My fee
- You did not fuck up your life.
- I just
- I don't know what I'm
- Mavis!
I don't
Don't worry, ma'am. You're gonna be okay.
These prostitutes should really eat
before they start work.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did you see my pum-pum?
I
I'm I'm sorry. Also Also you're welcome.
Betta know about me, babe ♪
Mm-hmm ♪
Betta know about me, babe ♪
Yeah ♪
I'm way too lit, I'm way too thick ♪
Talk a lotta trash, but I could bag it ♪
Betta know about me ♪
Mm-mm ♪
Yeah ♪
Mm-mm-mm ♪
Yeah ♪
Mm-mm ♪
Yeah ♪
Mm-mm-mm ♪
Yeah ♪
Mm-mm ♪
Hey ♪
Mm-mm-mm ♪
Yeah ♪
Betta know about me, babe ♪