The Consultant (2023) s01e06 Episode Script

Am I to assume that you
do not want an office
- in the managerial suite?
- I may be able to help you out,
Iain, just until all of this blows over.
- Frank Flores?
- How did you hear about me?
Regis Patoff.
You know, you're not at
all like he described you.
Enough about me. I'm
interested in you, Patricia.
Regis Patoff commissioned you to make
a solid gold skeleton?
Thank you.
Oh, I felt sick on the
way in so I headed back.
I shoulda told you.
Descend upon me. Purify me, Lord.
Mold me, fill me with Yourself, use me.
Banish all the forces of
evil from me, destroy them,
defeat them, so that I can
be healthy and do good deeds.
Banish from me all spells,
witchcraft, curses, and the evil eye.
Diabolic infestations,
oppressions, possessions.
All that is evil and sinful,
jealousy, deceitfulness, envy,
physical, psychological
Moral, spiritual, and
diabolical ailments
burn all these
that they may never again touch me.
I command and bid all
the powers who molest me,
by the power of God all powerful
In the name of
Jesus Christ, our Savior,
through the intercession of
the Immaculate Virgin Mary,
to leave me forever, and to be consigned
into the everlasting hell
where they will be bound
by our guardian angels, and
where they will be crushed
under the heel of the
Immaculate Virgin Mary.
What was that?!
Who's there?
Hello?
What the
Whoa, stay back.
There's, there's glass everywhere.
Is anything missing?
Is anything fucking valuable?
Hello?
Oh, shit.
Careful.
Wait, what? Babe, you're
gonna be late for work.
Oh, I called Dr. Grant.
I told him I'm sick.
Well, what's wrong with you?
I'm clammy. My throat's sore.
Maybe I caught your three-day flu.
How long have you been out again?
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday?
You know, actually, I'm
feeling a lot better today.
Good.
Maybe you could fetch me some hot tea.
Mr. Patoff, we have the live
analytics from the focus group.
Where's Dana today?
Her son's in the hospital.
We're sticking particularly
well with males under 30.
Numbers, what do they mean?
Number of active users.
Time spent playing. Time spent away.
They like our game?
The satisfaction report will
be published by end of day.
Tammy and Chi are still collating.
That's them calling me now.
They probably have an update.
- Answer your phone.
- Oh.
Hi.
- Craig? Oh my God, are you ok?
- Three-day flu.
I'm infectious, so
just fuck off six feet.
- Oh! Shoes.
- What?
New policy. No exceptions.
Whose idea was that?
No, actually, save yourself the oxygen.
This is a masterpiece.
Dude. You're alive.
Yeah. Oh, it's a three-day flu.
Fuck me! It smells like feet in here.
They've done studies. Working
barefoot boosts creativity.
Trust me, Patoff is not doing
this to increase our work.
He's doing it to assert his dominance.
He's up there in fucking ski boots.
Why is no one working?
We are waiting to be told what to do.
What? Come on, guys.
I've been gone three days.
Why aren't we working on Upskirt Jungle?
It's done.
What do you mean it's done?
Patoff had us working 16-hour
days to get it finished.
He signed off on it late last night.
We wouldn't have busted a nut
but we thought you had cancer.
What else would you be remembered for?
You you finished
Upskirt Jungle without me?
You might wanna take a look at it.
Oh hi, Craig. You all right?
I hear you were really sick.
What the fuck is going on around here?
Wow. You actually did it.
You went and stole yourself an office.
- Sit down, Craig.
- No, no.
I'm not gonna sit down.
You're the assistant.
You're not supposed
to have another chair.
Why didn't you tell me
they renamed my game?
We can't launch with the
word "Upskirt" in the title.
- What? Was it his idea?
- We did a brainstorm.
I don't remember where
the idea originated.
What about "Pain Forest?"
Or "Achy-Breaky Glass"
or a million other titles
we coulda come up with!
Craig, it's too late.
It's already out to the focus group now.
Already!? Already! Did you even test it?
I have been watching the news every day.
There's nothing on a
fatal robbery in Pomona.
"I will attach tendons to you
and make flesh come upon you
"and cover you with skin.
"I will put breath in
you. You will come to life.
"And then you'll know that
I am the Lord." Ezekiel 37.
That's what you've been doing all week?
Memorizing Bible passages?
Yeah. I downloaded the audio version.
Now I just wake up knowing this shit.
I thought that you weren't coming back.
Yeah, well, turns out I'm not
safe in my own home, either.
Somebody smashed our
front glass last night.
You live in a bad neighborhood.
And how do you explain
those three guys in masks?
I don't know, maybe it's
some random stick-up guys
who chose the wrong store.
Craig, I know that this is upsetting
but he's not trying to kill you.
Raul, did you change the
weight tolerance on this?
No.
Can you explain to me how
a snake and a monkey team up
to break a three-inch thick
sheet of tempered glass?
Oh, Patoff wanted to
make it more random.
- Random?
- Fun.
Where's the fun in a
game without any strategy?
Will you hurry up?
I lost a fucking shoe!
Fuck him!
What are these, fucking clown shoes?
Look, they have metal
heels on the bottom.
Who has shoes with metal heels?
- How's Patti?
- She's pissed at me.
- She found out I went to Pomona.
- How?
She must be reading my emails.
She saw my Uber receipt.
Did you tell her what happened?
No, of course not. I denied everything.
I told her that my
Uber account got hacked.
Why didn't you just tell her the truth?
Because it sounds fucking crazy!
And when I proposed to her,
I made her a promise
I'd like, you know, try.
That I'd show up for work,
and I'd become a Catholic,
and I wouldn't get stoned all the time.
And all this bullshit stuff
that she seems to like.
For Craig!
Hey, can you get that, or
are you too important now?
I want to check in on Patti.
The satisfaction report
from the focus group.
I'm sorry that it's so late.
I had a copy printed for you.
What are they saying?
From "charming and addictive"
to "boring" and "fuck this shit."
That's normal. They all hated
"Escape From Leprechaun Island"
but it continues to be our top-earner.
Can't please all of the
people all of the time.
No. I have a couple of
follow-up calls I need to do
in the morning before you
approve it to go to marketing.
Tomorrow is Saturday.
I was planning on coming
in for a couple of hours.
Keep things moving forward.
Craig must be feeling better.
I saw him in your office earlier.
Three-day flu. A lot of
people are going down with it.
Why do you lie for him?
I'm not.
I mean, I I don't.
Craig is having a
difficult time at home.
With Patti?
I only conversed with her briefly,
but I formed an impression that
that wedding may not happen.
What do you think, Elaine?
I think it's something that
they're gonna have to sort out
between themselves.
You're right.
Perhaps they need time apart
to analyze their feelings.
So it's okay if we cut Craig a
little bit of slack right now?
Of course! That's what friends are for.
Okay.
Elaine.
Yes, Mr. Patoff?
Your computer?
Kept it mild for you.
Ah, thanks, babe.
Hmm.
Bless us, Lord, and this
food we are about to receive
from your bounty. Thank
you for keeping us safe,
and united, and strong. Amen.
Amen.
What's the deal with
exorcisms? Are they for real?
Or it's just something
they made up for TV?
The Church will sometimes
intervene in cases
of demonic possession.
Whether they're real or imagined.
Have you ever done one?
- Me personally?
- Yeah.
I've never been called upon.
Between the two of us, Craig,
I'm a little disappointed about that.
Do you feel like you've
been under some kind of
No, no, no. No, not me.
It's just this guy at work.
I don't know what's going
on inside of him, and
I'm starting to have some
really crazy thoughts in my head.
Sometimes we create an adversary
to justify our own failings.
Hmm. Wow. This Catholic
thing is pretty brutal, huh?
Why are you really here, Craig?
Well, at first,
it was so that I could marry Patti.
Now Right now,
I think I'm just here
to stay the fuck alive.
Who's your enemy?
He's Shao Kahn.
He's Donkey Kong.
Sometimes he's fucking Bowser.
Sorry, I know those
are nerdy references.
He's the boss.
That's all he is.
And I shouldn't be taking him home.
But he just lets himself
in, whenever he wants to.
What are you gonna do?
You know? He's the man.
Oh, thank fuck.
Hello, young man.
May I?
I'd like to play a game with you.
I'm not allowed phones.
It's called "Mr. Sang's Jungle Odyssey."
No one will be angry with you.
In your own words,
I'd like you to tell me
how the game makes you feel.
Hi, it's Elaine from
CompWare. It's Tan, right?
Tang. Like, taste.
Oh, sorry. I know that
it's Saturday morning
so I won't take up
too much of your time.
Uh, so I'm calling today because
we detected an unusual pattern
in your gameplay.
It says that you played
"Mr. Sang's Jungle Odyssey"
nine times, for seven
hours and 11 minutes.
And our data says that
you stopped at level 316.
Yeah. Seven hours and 11
minutes I will never get back.
So, you were disappointed
with level 316.
Look, I'm running for the golden egg,
the elephant drops, I
die. Every fucking time.
I got so angry I smashed my
face into the patio window.
One star from Tang.
I've completed every single
game I've ever played until now.
So, you stopped at level 316?
I didn't stop! It glitched!
Kyle, what happened to your hand?
I punched the window.
Because of the game?
Because of that fucking elephant!
Fucking assholes.
Dana, why are you here?
He wanted shortbread.
Said it had to be homemade.
I already ate three on
the drive in stop me.
How's your son? Terry?
- Timmy.
- Oh, sorry.
Uh, yeah, he's stitched
up, he's gonna be fine.
It's a miracle he didn't hit an artery.
What happened?
He had a temper tantrum, and
we couldn't calm him down.
He shoved his hand through
the bathroom window.
I don't know if he couldn't see
the window wasn't open or what.
Timmy's not as dexterous as Darius was.
Dana, does Timmy play
games on your phone?
It's the only thing that
keeps him from kicking us.
You're not shortbread.
I went heavy on the
fat-to-flour ratio, Mr. Patoff.
You might wanna watch your heart
if you're gonna eat 'em all.
Was there anything else this weekend?
You're not needed any longer.
Mr. Patoff. We have a problem.
I've been following up
with the focus group,
and nobody can get past level 316.
- It's a difficult game.
- I think that there's a glitch,
and we need more time to test it.
They will just have to keep on trying.
Forever, if necessary.
They're getting frustrated! Angry.
In some cases, it's driven
our users to self-harm.
That's what happened to Dana's son.
Dana downloaded the game on her
phone, her son played the game,
he ended up in the hospital.
This is impossible.
You complete a maze, you
earn a reward, you progress.
An innocent, childish game.
Where's the harm in that?
- We need to delay the launch.
- If we do not launch now,
Mr. Sang and CompWare
will cease to exist.
I analyzed the user feedback
and they lean substantially
towards the positive.
Inform Marketing that
we are ready to launch.
"Mr. Sang's Jungle Odyssey
"is the best game I've ever played."
Brionny from Ohio's words, not mine.
Fuck! Fuck this fucking game!
- Are you going out?
- I need to run some errands.
What? I thought I thought
you were feeling sick?
- Are you upset?
- I need some air.
- I need to get out.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Babe, babe.
Did I do something?
I don't know, Craig. Did you?
Patti.
There's not enough natural light
in here for them to survive.
At the weekends I
always collect the plants
and put them in the
art department's window.
Harriet has the sunniest
spot of them all.
Thank you.
We can only grow in the light, Elaine.