The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell (2018) s01e06 Episode Script

Halloween Tricks & Treats

On the top of a dark and distant mountain, there is a beautiful and talented woman, who uses her unique skills of baking, sculpting and sewing to create delicious confections and hauntingly disturbing decor.
She finds beauty in the art of darkness with each creation and shares them with us, the unusual creatures she has taken into her home.
Join us in her delightfully dark world.
Welcome to Hey! It's here! It's here! You guys, it's here! Hey, stupid, get up! What? What? Where? What? Oh, a spider! - Yeah! It's Halloween! - Oh, wow.
How did she do this? - I didn't hear anything.
Ha ha! - Me neither! Do you like it? Are you kidding? I've never seen anything like this.
- This isn't even the best part.
- What? Come this way.
Oh, wow! Yeah.
I can't believe you did all this for me.
I did this for everyone.
And see the tree? There is something under it for each of you.
- A thing! - Oh! Oh.
Oh, my God! Look at all of this! - Oh, yeah.
- Yeah! This is a real bounty of delights.
Open, open, open, open.
Oh, yeah.
Rankle, there's even something for you.
An offering? For me? Oh, goody, goody, goody.
- Look what I got! - Huh.
What'd you get? Some kinda cross-shaped chew toy.
- That's a crossbow, dummy! - Oh.
- How's it work? - Gimme it.
You shouldn't have.
Mmm.
Freshly dead.
 I can still taste a little bit of his soul.
Where did these come from? I'm glad you asked.
I made them last night.
Keepsake ornaments are usually intended to last for generations.
But when you make them out of a cookie and you've got some hungry guests, they'll probably only be around about five minutes.
The first step to making these is to bake off either a sugar cookie or a shortbread.
The shortbread's kind of fun because it looks very bulky, but it actually is pretty flaky and sort of just melts in your mouth.
I made these about two inches thick and let them cool to room temperature.
So we're gonna hollow these out just a little bit and fill them with candy before we seal them shut.
The Dremel tool's gonna come in handy for carving these out, and getting them into the really precise shape that we want them.
Obviously, be a little on the safe side.
Remember, you want to hollow the cookie deep enough so you can fill it with candy.
But leave it thick enough so you can carve a face on the other side.
The bit I'm using is just really good for grating sharp edges.
Make sure to hollow out two separate cookies.
You can use a paint brush to get out all of the extra cookie dust.
Okay.
So, once you hollowed out a little bit, you can fill it with candy.
I'm using chocolate-covered raisins, but you can use whatever you like.
And then we're gonna seal it with royal icing, which is my favorite edible glue.
At this stage, we're gonna start sculpting in some of the basic features for our shrunken head.
I'm starting with the eyes making sure they're sunken into the head.
Then I'm going to start to thin out the cheeks to get a really gaunt look.
I'm using a sanding drum attachment for my Dremel tool to carve out the features of the face.
Not too bad.
So now that we have a basic shape, I'm gonna take some royal icing in a piping bag, and sort of embellish some of the features that I really want to stand out before painting it brown.
So, something simple like that, with three prongs.
Because it's a shrunken head, you want the cheekbones to really, really look emaciated, with some deep grooves.
I'm using a small brush to blend the royal icing into the face for more detailed features.
This ornament has a nice little shrunken head look to it already.
I'm gonna let this dry and then I'm gonna paint it brown with some edible brown food color, done with an airbrush, and then pipe on those last details, and they should look beautiful on the tree.
I went over it a few times to get the color just right.
All nice and brown.
I think we are ready for some of those finishing touches.
I'm using the same royal icing as I did before, to create the eyes.
Using a small-tipped brush, I gently even out the eyes to make sure they're perfectly round.
And now for the stitches on the mouth.
So this is royal icing with a piping bag and cut to a very, very fine tip and delicately strung along to give the appearance of a stitched mouth.
All right.
The string was achieved simply by taking a sculpting tool and punching through.
And because it is a fairly soft cookie, it wasn't too hard to punch straight through and pull this right on through.
And that is how you make an edible ornament.
Rose, give Edgar back his toy.
- No, that's mine.
- Aw.
Fine.
Well, now that we've opened presents, do you guys want to go bake a haunted gingerbread house? - Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah! Gingerbread house.
Sounds better than what I had planned.
All right, I'm gonna go change first.
Gingerbread houses are usually associated with Christmas.
But with a few tweaks, I think they can make an amazing fall centerpiece.
Today, I'm going to be making a ginger-dead house.
Oh, I get it.
It's like gingerbread, but - it's ginger-dead.
- Yeah.
Don't hurt yourself, okay? So if you want a gingerbread house that's really gonna impress, it's gonna require a little bit of pre-planning and a lot of cardboard.
So the very first thing I do is cut out some cardboard pieces and then putting them together to mock up what that shape is.
And if the height isn't right, or I decide I want a window somewhere, this is a perfect time to sort of sketch it on.
Have a ruler and a pencil handy.
The terrific thing about working it out in cardboard first is not only do you find out what's gonna work, what isn't, but when you're done, you have a stencil that you can use to cut out your cookie.
Let me show you.
So, I have a couple secret weapons when making a gingerbread house that is sure to impress.
Two things.
Start with a gingerbread dough that you've omitted any leavening agent from, meaning no baking powder, no baking soda.
The reason you want this is you don't want a cookie that's gonna puff up too much and fill up with air.
You want something a little dense and crisp.
Can we eat it now? Well, no.
This is for something beautiful.
A piece of art we're making.
Oh.
And a decorated cookie is the tastiest cookie.
You really want to start out with too much dough, 'cause you can always pull stuff away, but incorporating new dough once you're rolling out a big sheet is a little trickier.
My second secret weapon is rolling out the dough into a cookie sheet, so you're not overly manipulating anything.
When you see the pieces building up on the side, use an X-Acto knife to cut out the excess dough.
You can just roll out the excess later for those additional details.
Don't discard it.
You want to take your time with this part, because especially with a large sheet, you want the density to be pretty even throughout the whole piece.
So once you have your dough to the thickness that you want, it's ready to be cut out, take your stencil.
This is just one side wall of the gingerbread house.
You'll need to build several more just like it.
Trace along the stencil to cut out all the windows from the mold.
So just remove all of the excess holding down the cardboard so nothing gets shifted.
And you can still perfect any edges or anything you don't like at this stage before it goes into the oven.
Okay.
I'm ready to pop this into the oven for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.
And then it's time for a candy glass window treatment.
Oh, man, that smells fantastic.
That does smell good.
And it covers up Rose's horrific stench.
- I smell like experience.
- Yes, a bathroom experience.
Can we eat it now? No, it's gotta cool off and also harden so we can work with it.
So once your cookie has cooled and hardened, you want to transfer it from this baking sheet to a perfectly smooth, clean baking sheet that's been lined in aluminum foil with the shiny side up.
Once in place, using isomalt or candy glass, you want to take a measuring spoon and pour it into the cavities of each of the windows.
I like to use a little bit of blue food coloring to give my windows a real glass effect.
And just gently pour into each cavity, taking your time.
Isomalt is a sugar substitute, so it's perfectly safe to eat.
I usually let mine cool about 30 minutes before trying to play with it too much.
So, once it's fully set, you can peel it off from the foil.
Now, if you end up with a foggy background from the foil, taking a brulee torch and torching it momentarily from the back will gloss it back up and give you that translucent effect.
And there you have very clear candy glass.
- And you can eat the glass, too? - Yeah.
- Can we eat it now? - No, it's for tonight.
It's see-through.
Glass.
Oh, that's enough thinking for one day, big guy.
So when it comes to piping on the flashing, the trim and all of those little details around the windows, I use royal icing in a piping bag that I tinted brown to match the gingerbread walls using food coloring.
You really have a lot of creative leeway here, so I would say go wild and just make the windows of your dreams.
Or nightmares.
So, a slightly non-mathematical method I use for visually getting things to look even is by creating three points and just gradually breaking them down by halves.
I visually look for the middle, and then I break each point down by half.
This is just one wall, and I'm building a three-story Victorian mansion.
So I'm going to repeat this process over and over again until every detail is perfect.
Oh, sweet.
Nap time.
I'll get it! - Hey, Happy Halloween! - Say, fuzzy, is Vivienne home? I'm coming.
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
You can go out tonight.
Don't wait up.
- Wow.
She looked nice.
- Yeah.
The house is ready.
Perfect.
- Wow.
- Whoa.
Too bad it's too small to live in.
Obviously, it takes a considerable amount of time to make a house with this much detail.
I used those gingerbread scraps from earlier to make the decorative trim, the steps and the doors.
I then used royal icing for the shingles and the roof, then airbrushed the entire house to give it that lived-in look.
What do you guys think? - Whoa! - Wow.
That is truly remarkable.
I'm pretty happy with how it looks.
Can we eat it now? - Not yet.
- Oh.
I think we're ready to move on to making some incredibly delicious treats that all trick-or-treaters would love.
- Rusty nails? - Sand? - Old prescriptions.
- Live hand grenades? - Tapas! - Ah - A nice rosé! - Band-Aids? - Used ones? - Anthrax? Always a goodie.
Bones of animals that have been run over by trucks.
Watch it! - No.
Edible spiders.
- That's what I was gonna say! So, there's a species of edible spider that I like making that not only tastes delicious, but is also truly terrifying.
This little guy, my favorite, when he's finished being painted will look exactly like a creepy and brown recluse.
And all he is, is three simple ingredients: hard caramel candies, half a peanut and one whole macadamia nut.
I've placed the hard candies on a baking sheet.
I have the oven preheating to 325, and I'm going to pop them in for just about five minutes, making them soft and flexible, so we can create our spider legs.
Make sure that you use hard caramels because if you use soft ones, they won't stiffen properly.
So once it's heated, it's pliable for only a short period of time.
Peel your caramel off your baking sheet.
Work quickly, it's hot.
Now, begin to pull off tiny slivers to create your legs with.
Bend them once in the middle to make the end taper off to a sharp point.
And repeat that motion over and over, until you have a bunch of creepy little spider legs.
Now I'm going to melt one of the little caramel legs and use it to attach the peanut head to the macadamia nut body.
The sharpness and symmetry of each leg will determine how realistic your finished spider looks.
So, using the same method, take the end of the leg and melt it with your candle, and apply it to your spider.
And sometimes they burn a little bit, but it doesn't taste bad.
Now, we're going to repeat the step, being very careful not to burn our fingers in the process, until we have an eight-legged brown recluse.
Oh.
They're very delicate.
So, if you just know that going in, pace yourself.
I think he's ready to be airbrushed now.
Take all of your spiders and set them together on a piece of parchment paper.
I'm painting them with a little bit of edible food coloring.
There you go.
I think that's all done and nice and creepy.
Now, this is a brown recluse.
But if you want a black widow, marry me.
- Good one, Christine.
- Oh, what a tangled web you weave.
Can I eat it now? How about now? - We're saving them for company.
- Now? Is now the time? - Can I eat it? - I think you're eating plenty.
- How about now? - Okay.
I think I'm gonna go change.
I'll be back in a bit.
Who cares about trick or treaters? You want to go eat all the stuff she made? Yeah.
I'll get it! Right behind ya.
- Ooh! It could be a trick or treater.
- I got an idea.
Let's use your present on this one.
Three.
Two.
One.
- Trick or treat! - Aha! Oh.
- Safety's on.
Trick or treat, Rose! - Huh? I got a treat for you right here.
Norman! - Huh? - Happy Halloween.
Thank you, Rose, for greeting Norman so warmly.
It could get a lot warmer.
Okay.
Okay, this time you smell it, right? Why don't you two go jump into your costumes? Oh.
That's fresh blood.
Oh, this? I found this outside.
Didn't want anyone to get hurt, so I thought I'd bring it in.
I really like how it goes with your costume.
I know! Kooky, right? Must be fate.
Well, I'm just in the middle of getting everything from the kitchen into the dining room.
Would you mind helping? - Mind? I'd love to.
- Right this way.
- Hey, mister, wanna buy some cookies? - Aah! Rose! You got me.
- Wow, that truly is terrifying.
- It is.
Ah! Hey.
If you wouldn't mind, the ginger-dead house is all that's left.
All right! I'm on it.
Good times.
Hello, pumpkins! All right.
Here we go.
I can't get over how you're able to do all of this.
Brace yourself, Johnny Suspenders.
This is just a snack.
She's real good.
Well, I helped.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
What did you do? Did you see the stain on the living room floor? The storm must have knocked out the power.
Ooh! - You mind if I get that? - Yeah, no problem.
- I love passing out candy.
- I'll follow you.
Hmm.
Huh.
Nobody else is weirded out by that guy? Coming.
Happy Halloween! Oh! My, do you look festive! Oh, yes, come in, come in.
Get out of the rain, dry yourself off, the candy can wait a little bit.
Oh! Good gravy! - Evelyn! - Hello, cousin.
My invitation to your party must've gotten lost in the mail.
Where's your straitjacket? Leave it in the car? I would have called first, but the phones at the asylum weren't working ever since the building burned down.
This is your cousin? Good looks run in the family.
What's wrong with him? Finally! You smell it, too.
Evelyn, you really shouldn't have burned down the asylum.
But since you're here, do you want to stay for the party? - And just let Norman go? - You should see everything that we made! I don't want to come to one of your stupid parties.
I wanna kill you! Aah.
Gee wilikers.
You girls in this house are crazy.
And I like it.
Huh.
So, should we let Bernard eat her or start digging a hole in the backyard? No! No! Rose! She's getting away! - On it.
- Rose! My little princess.
Wake up.
Rose.
Oh.
Are you sure you want to do this? Yes, I'm sure.
Well, I think we're just about ready.
Now, we just need some lightning.
But what's a few more days? She won't spoil any more than she already has.
I would just treasure the silence and the lack of urine-soaked flooring, and Oh, watch out! This is an outrage! Thank you, Edgar.
You're welcome.
Huh? Rose Uncover me! This instant! Oh, no.
Did it work? What does she eat, death? - Ha ha! What'd I miss? - Oh, well, maybe next time.
Where's Norman? He's taking care of Evelyn.
He said he had a special place he was sending her.
That guy.
Mysterious and sexy and yet, oddly helpful.
I like him.
If you like killers.
Hey.
What's with all the sour pusses? Let's go upstairs and party like the undead! It's Halloween! Oh! Jack-o'- lantern!
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