The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s01e06 Episode Script

1
Good grief. This is a tough problem.
This is the coffee jelly I usually get.
This boasts an impressive price
of 183 yen for 3 cups.
That means it's 61 yen per cup.
If I eat 2 cups, that would be 122 yen.
That is cheaper
than a jelly worth 138 yen.
Eating two jelly cups worth 61 yen each
or 1 pack of jelly worth 138 yen
Which will satisfy me more?
It's this, the pack with three cups.
Quantity over quality.
What? Volume?
That's right!
I see. The three-pack cups are smaller.
It's not twice the volume.
It's only 1,714 times larger.
In that case, the quality of this one
makes up for the volume.
In the end, quality beats quantity.
I have 3,000 yen.
I can buy 21 cups then.
I can cover my desk with them.
Wait.
If I buy the packed ones,
I can buy 16 packs.
That means I can have 48 cups!
That's crazy!
I can sleep on a bed of jelly cups!
I can even give one cup
to each member of an idol group!
IT WON'T HAPPEN
This is the right choice.
FOR GOURMETS: FINEST COFFEE JELLY
A cup of coffee jelly
for 2,950 yen?
That is so foolish.
Who would buy that?
Me.
What am I doing?
What's even worse is
that it only contains 55 grams of jelly.
Does that mean that the deliciousness
of 48 cups
is contained in this single cup?
No. It's only coffee jelly.
It can't be that unbelievably delicious.
But it must be delicious.
I used all of my current month's
allowance.
If I don't get my money's worth,
I will destroy their factories.
I need to return home quickly.
If I walk around
with a 3,000-yen coffee jelly,
I might get attacked.
Should I teleport?
No. There are people around.
Should I just teleport this instead?
That would be a pain.
When I teleport something,
something of the same value
comes back to me in its place.
Oh, no! It will be crushed!
Psychokinesis!
It's okay.
Sorry! Are you okay?
Yes. I'm fine.
But you will not get away that easily.
-Sorry. Are you okay?
-No. Just leave me alone.
Do you know him?
He always appears at the worst time.
Do you know where my ball went?
Is it not here? It couldn't have gone far.
It did.
I can use my clairvoyance
to search for it.
Did you find it?
No. I can't find it.
Too bad. I must give up.
It's my fault for throwing it far away,
but it's his fault too.
Time to return home
and eat my coffee jelly.
I'll just buy you a new one.
It needs to be that one!
It means a lot to me because my grandpa
gave it to me before he died.
I see.
We will find it then!
All right! Everyone, look for it
until we find it!
Thanks!
The other boy left though.
What?
Good grief. I had to use thoughtography.
I see. It's in the water.
That is why clairvoyance didn't work.
I will need to apport this instead.
I can exchange the ball
with something of the same value.
This might work.
Apport!
Negishi signed that ball.
Who is Negishi?
The baseball player!
Seriously? That's amazing!
Was it expensive?
Grandpa said that another ball he signed
was sold for nearly 3,000 yen.
I see. That's what happened.
Did you find it?
Hey, pal!
Thank you!
I am glad it's back!
This is for the best.
I can just buy another coffee jelly.
This child's ball is one of a kind.
Yes!
What is this?
A small boy and his sister
came here earlier.
They said this was their way
of saying thank you.
Did you do something nice?
Doing something nice is nice.
Did you go to the fortune-teller, Chiyo?
It was great!
She said that after my break up,
I would find a new boyfriend!
Takeru, how did it go
with the fortune-teller?
It was great. She said
I would get back together with Chiyo.
Well, someone's fortune is off.
How foolish.
Fortune-tellers are just a bunch of frauds
pretending to know the future.
We normally don't have the same opinion.
Forget that. I need to talk to you
about something important.
Come with me.
Did you notice something strange
in this town?
Now, you are a fraud
pretending to know something.
Can't you ask anyone else?
Pal! Did you hear
about the fortune-speaker?
It's fortune-teller.
I'm already sick of it.
-We can buy the comic book on Thursday
-That is bad.
Is this where the fortune-teller is?
How was it, Kiyomi?
Listen!
-I am fated to be with Kento Yamazaki!
-If they enjoy it,
I suppose it is harmless.
That is Kaido. What is he doing here?
I have no interest in fortune-telling.
However, if this person is legit,
they might be targeted
by the Dark Reunion.
-I need to see it with my own eyes.
-Excuses.
This fortune-teller seems suspicious.
She said I can date Kento Yamazaki!
Kento Yamazaki is cheating on you.
-Next in line, please come in.
-Let me observe this.
Welcome to the house of fortune-telling.
Please sit.
-Okay.
-She got the atmosphere right.
Nice to meet you.
I am Clairvoyance Mikiko.
-That name alone is suspicious.
-How may I help you?
-Well, I'm not here for some advice
-She seems fake.
I knew she was just a normal human.
Looks like he's not sure about her, too.
What's this?
You have a very different aura
from other people.
What?
You're not normal.
Do you have any special skills?
She is real!
It's over for him.
You overreacted.
She can tell what you want to hear.
He is the type of guy
who wants to be special.
This will be easy.
You are struggling with a problem, right?
How do you know that?
People without problems don't come here.
Let me guess.
Romantic problems are very common,
but that is not your problem.
Your studies or future
is not what you're worried about either.
It's your friends and relationships
That's it!
You are having problems
with your friends or relationships.
-How could you tell?
-That was too easy.
That's right. I have problems.
There are things in this world
that only I have seen.
-What is this idiot saying?
-I had the same question.
-I learned of this secret organization.
-I know how you feel.
I'm used to struggling.
But at times, I ponder.
It's a lonely path.
I don't have anyone
whom I can call a companion.
-You are talking a lot, but basically
-He can't make friends.
You're looking for someone
who would understand you.
To do so,
-you must understand them first.
-That is actually a good advice.
I misjudged her a little.
-Look at this.
-What's that?
You should wear this necklace.
What is this?
If you wear this,
you will make 100 friends,
including Kento Yamazaki.
Did she just memorize
Kento Yamazaki's name?
I can give you this necklace
for 30,000 yen.
It's 30,000 yen?
-Ridiculous.
-I'll buy it.
-I can't waste my time with this idiot.
-Tell me one thing.
Will this necklace make Saiki my friend?
If you wear it,
-even Saiki will call you his pal.
-Why would I do that?
I'll take it!
What an easy target.
Secret organizations? What an idiot!
Next in line, please come in.
I don't care if you mess with him,
but you should not have used me.
I'll make 100 friends?
I must memorize everyone's name then.
Kaido!
A new friend?
I'm returning your money!
I never thought
that you were telling the truth!
What about the necklace?
Take it! I bought it for 500 yen.
What?
I don't want him to think
that we'll become friends
because of that necklace.
Don't rely on charms.
Learn how to make friends on your own.
Pal!
The little guy is here too!
I knew this necklace was special.
You wasted my hard work.
When will we get there?
Good grief. Am I stuck with them again?
What's this? Saiki! What are you doing?
Teruhashi?
What are you all doing together?
He said that he would take us
to a good ramen shop.
Yes! We're going to eat there.
Ramen?
Is it okay if I go with you?
Sorry! Am I being too blunt?
-No, not at all.
-Welcome!
Seriously?
-Look!
-She's so pretty.
I was careless.
Dealing with Teruhashi requires
the most vigilance.
Nendo usually stares blankly and grunts.
But now
It is surprising to know
that you enjoy ramen, Teruhashi.
Who are you?
Kaido, too.
-Kaido?
-What?
Why do you have those bandages?
-This is for my powers.
-Powers?
Sorry, I'm not sure I understand.
I don't know why I have them!
It looks like he's over his problems.
It may be kind of gross,
but this is a normal reaction.
For Teruhashi as well.
They are going crazy.
That does make sense.
They get to eat a meal with me,
the cutest girl in the world.
Why doesn't he seem flustered though?
Kunio Saiki.
Why didn't he gasp?
When you see me,
you need to at least gasp.
Why would I gasp?
He's nothing special.
My beauty must have an effect on him.
He's just staring into space
with that odd look on his face.
He's indeed mysterious and brooding.
He looks at the world
as if he can see through anything.
What is it, pal?
What's gotten into me?
Stop thinking about him!
In any case,
I will make him gasp at my beauty today.
She just made me her target.
I don't want her to follow me,
but I also don't want to gasp.
All right, I've thought of a good plan.
We made it.
-This is the place.
-Stop that look.
I am so hungry.
RAMEN
Oh, my.
Is this for real?
Do I need to go in there?
It's really delicious here.
No way.
My friend's relative said
that it was delicious, so don't worry.
An urban myth? There's seriously no way.
There is no way I am going into this place
that hardly looks like a restaurant.
I knew it.
Teruhashi will refuse to go in
and will leave instead.
Something came up. I need to go!
What?
As a result, they will get annoyed
and will stop gasping at her.
Who does she think she is?
She's different from us peons.
Teruhashi's pride will be damaged,
and she'll stop coming around me.
What is with them? This is ridiculous!
That is the plan.
I'll just say something came up and leave.
-I have to
-You must be joking!
Teruhashi is not taking a step
into that place!
-It's Teruhashi!
-No, something
You won't eat at a filthy place
like this one, right?
Right, Teruhashi?
No. It's fine.
I can't leave.
They would think that's my reason
if I leave now.
-Are you sure?
-Kaido. You ruined my plan.
But it is impressive
how she can still act like
a perfect beauty under these conditions.
I was wrong.
I thought it might be clean inside,
but of course, it's not.
This restaurant is too gross.
You don't have to go in here.
I'm fine as long as it tastes good.
What an amazing person.
She's not even upset.
-She's a perfect girl!
-"She's a perfect girl!"
He's thinking that, right?
That's exactly right.
I've lived as the definition of perfection
on the outside and inside for 16 years.
I will not ruin my image in front of him.
I will not destroy the dreams
of the seven billion people who love me!
Get us four bowls of ramen, sir!
All right, four bowls coming up.
Oh, my.
That is the owner?
Is he going to make my food?
He's a gross monster
who is my complete opposite.
No!
-There must be a top chef in the kitchen.
-Face the reality.
Here.
It's here!
-Oh, my.
-Oh, my.
It looks exactly
like what I've imagined it to be.
Did my plan to lower her popularity fail?
No one will eat this.
I need to eat it!
A perfect girl would never refuse
to eat food served to her!
I can't destroy the dreams
of those seven billion people.
You might want to stop.
Come on!
Even a pig wouldn't eat this slop!
Teruhashi ate this.
She's indeed a perfect woman.
If she's that willing
to act like she's perfect,
she may actually be perfect.
I'm going to vomit.
My name is Reita Toritsuka.
I can communicate with ghosts.
I've been seeing ghosts
ever since I was born.
Most people think that ghosts are scary,
but that's not true.
Ghosts are not scary.
-Take care. Watch out for cars.
-They are actually kind.
Got it!
Ghosts can't hurt you.
Basically, what I want to say
is that this power can help me
take over the world.
It's wonderful!
Hey, you!
Were they checking bags
at the school gate?
At PK Academy? Yes, they were.
Information!
If ghosts become my eyes and ears,
I can have any information I want.
He, who rules information,
can rule the world!
Why are you bringing these to school?
I use the powers the gods gave me
for my own happiness.
I'm just like an idol star
or a professional athlete.
I have one more favor.
What is it?
What color is her underwear? Go look!
Sorry. I can't do that.
That would violate her privacy.
I'll get going now.
Right.
Ghosts are kind.
They won't help me
do something mischievous.
But I can do other things with my powers!
-What should I do?
-Ladies!
I have some time now.
Shall I tell you
what your protective spirits are?
Girls like spiritual things.
Maybe I should start running
a fortune-telling business.
This ceremony will cast evil spirits away.
Don't worry. Please get undressed.
Yes, sir.
He already told mine, so I'll pass.
What about you?
I don't really care about it.
By the way, I have a question.
-Her gym clothes are missing.
-I have nothing to do with it.
It wasn't me! Seriously!
I just wanted to ask you if you saw them.
This is it! I will find your gym clothes!
-What?
-What?
How are you going to find them,
protective spirit boy?
-What do you know, protective spirit boy?
-Protective spirit boy!
It's Toritsuka.
I can just ask ghosts!
Ghosts are everywhere.
They know everything about this school!
Hey, you!
I am searching for a girl's gym clothes.
Have you seen them?
What will you do with those clothes?
Nothing! She asked me to find them!
Sorry. In that case, I saw them.
Where?
I saw it earlier when I was walking
with the vice principal in the hallway.
Was it fun?
Not really.
There was a boy who passed by us.
He was holding a girl's gym bag.
That means he stole them!
There is a big difference
between that and simply losing them.
This case will be known
by the entire school.
Did you catch the thief?
-Wow! Look over here!
-He is so handsome!
This is my chance!
-It's him!
-Stop!
-Wait, I saw you this morning.
-I am his protective spirit.
Please overlook this!
That proves that he's the thief.
-Get out of the way.
-Please.
Aren't you going to move?
-I am his protective spirit.
-Never mind.
What?
I will do anything! Please overlook this!
-Anything?
-That's right!
May it be someone's weakness
or the answer to a test problem,
I will find out any information you want.
I promise I'll do anything for you,
so please let him go!
-I refuse.
-Why?
You almost had me,
but I can't accept your offer.
There is one reason.
There is a powerful psychic who can see
everything going on in this school.
Although you are a ghost,
if I were to make you go down that road,
he would definitely kill me.
Also, I can't let you do such bad things
when you are only trying
to protect that boy.
Even still, I will get him!
Wait. So you won't let him go?
He's gone.
Here are the gym clothes.
You made a commotion,
so he was able to escape.
Those gym clothes!
I knew it was you!
I thought he was suspicious!
-He was acting really strange earlier.
-No, you've got it wrong.
Thank you for saving him.
I knew it! There's no point
in having the power to see ghosts.
Cheer up.
I looked at her pantie this time.
Should I tell you about her pantie?
I knew having this power is the best!
I didn't appear in this episode.
I realized it 0,2 seconds after I woke up.
I can no longer use my powers.
I can't hear others' voices.
I usually wake up to a wave of thoughts
wanting to go back to sleep forever.
Levitation doesn't work.
It hurts.
Nothing happened when I punched.
Before, I could easily demolish
the seven-kilometer road in front of me.
I am free from the spell
of psychic powers!
I am finally free!
What?
I realized it 0,2 seconds after I woke up.
It was a dream.
-Is it already morning?
-I am so tired.
Okay.
That makes sense.
I probably shouldn't.
Good grief. This is the worst morning.
I had a bad dream,
and my head already hurts.
When I have dreams or have headaches,
I can see into the future.
The power teaches me
what will happen in the future.
However, it wasn't saying
that I would lose my powers.
It predicted the explosion.
Good grief.
Should I save them
before I have my breakfast?
This is the location of the explosion
in my dream.
It is right next to my house.
I'm only doing this to prevent my things
from being damaged.
As a result, I may end up saving others.
But I usually don't save others.
I have saved the Earth and humanity
six times in the past,
but that was mostly for myself.
Now, this explosion
Okay. I have prevented the explosion.
I am not joking.
Accident is a series of random events.
A miracle of sorts.
If you remove one element,
everything changes.
If I didn't remove this stone,
the following would have happened
in one minute.
A high school girl in a miniskirt
runs down the street.
She steps on the stone.
She falls as if she is executing
a somersault kick.
The stone goes flying.
It is aimed at an oil tanker.
The driver lowers the window
to speak to a gas station attendant.
Just then, it hits his temple.
He falls forward.
He presses down the accelerator.
The tanker drives forward.
It hits the filling station.
Gasoline spills all over the ground.
At that time,
the high school girl
inadvertently reveals herself.
A motorbike appears.
The driver gets mesmerized.
As a result, he slips on the gasoline.
The motorbike stylishly strikes
the filling station.
Explosion.
The end.
Do you understand now?
This accident was a result
of a series of misfortunes
that only exist in comics.
If the girl was not running,
she would not have tripped.
If she wore track pants underneath,
the motorbike would not have slipped.
Reality is harsh.
If the tanker driver
opened the window a second later,
the stone wouldn't have hit him.
If the driver was quick,
he could have caught it.
Who threw this stone?
All things begin
from the smallest of things,
and can be stopped
by the smallest of things.
I used my power to see everything,
so it was easy to stop it.
It is usually hard
to prevent such accidents.
Ouch!
Was that another glimpse of the future?
I didn't see anything
other than the result this time.
Good grief.
My head.
Where did this stone come from?
It can't be! It's a meteorite! It must be!
FACULTY LOUNGE
Sir, I went to the storage
-and got the oil for the heaters.
-Good work.
We don't need that much!
We're not turning the faculty lounge
into a sauna!
Sorry, I'll bring them back. I'll go now!
It's okay. I'll bring them back later.
Just put them in the hall.
Okay, sir.
Little guy! Check this out!
What do you think this is?
It's a meteorite! Amazing, right?
This isn't a meteorite.
It's just a stone, you fool.
What are you doing?
What if it hits someone?
No one is there.
I overslept!
I need to make it in time
for the attendance!
I will run as fast as possible!
If I trip, I will be in big trouble!
I tripped!
See?
Everything starts with something small.
Good grief.
If the topic was
the greatness of coffee jelly,
I could talk for days.
I carelessly let myself be happy.
Next time
If someone makes me choose
between cats and dogs,
my answer is "I don't care."
Subtitle translation by James Burns