The King of the Machos (2024) s01e06 Episode Script

1
HELP US CROWN
THE KING OF THE MACHOS
THE TRADITIONAL CONTES
OF SAN JOSÉ DE LAS TUNAS
[merchant] Five pesos.
[speaks indistinctly]
Five bucks, five bucks,
you pay five bucks.
It's yours for five bucks.
[merchant 2] Okay, blondie, so should I
give you this King of the Machos one?
[buyer] Look, you know what?
I'll take two T-shirts
and give me the orange hat,
but the one with Charly on it, eh?
- [merchant 2] You got it. Here you go.
- [buyer] Okay.
- Thanks. Take care.
- [merchant 2] You're welcome. Thank you.
Give me that T-shirt.
- [merchant 2] The blue one?
- Yes, please.
- I'll give it to you right now.
- Yes, and, um
It's quite nice, eh?
And and this hat, please.
This one. Perfect.
Check out how nice these turned out, eh?
They're really good quality.
And just between us,
Charly's always been my pick.
- No way.
- Yes.
THE KING OF THE MACHOS
Dad, can you hand me the other brush?
Okay, enough, yeah? How much longer
are you going to stay mad at me?
What you did wasn't right, Charly.
And that's why I already said sorry.
- [horse whinnies]
- I'm sorry, Mom.
Don't even worry about it.
At least your friends enjoyed
the molito I made.
Okay, and FYI, I was just following
your advice to go after my dreams, eh?
And part of going after your dreams is
making friends with that guy?
No, my dream is to get out of this hole,
and the mayor is the only one
who can help me with that.
That's why I'm telling you that
you really have to watch your step, Son.
[phone buzzes]
Thanks, honey.
[phone chimes]
New Message - Now
Charly - Will you forgive me now?
For what
[rooster crows]
Search for real estate
See all real estate in the country
[Lázaro] That's how I wanted to find you,
wasting time.
Tell me, why didn't you go out
with the foreman to the agave field?
[stammers] Dad, I forgot. I'm sorry.
You forgot?
If you don't even learn about agave,
how are you going to avoid looking
like an idiot for the rest of your life?
Well, okay, I'll tell Mr. Mario
to give me the tour. That's enough.
Don't tell me to shut up.
I need a man here, a man to take this on!
And you need to learn, asshole!
Don't make me, or the foreman, or anyone,
anyone else waste our time, you dumbass!
Where are you going? Where are you going?
- Come here, you son of a bitch.
- [belt whips]
- [Lázaro] Are you a man, or not?
- [León groans] I'm a real man, Dad.
[Lázaro] Are you a man, or not?
You dumbass!
- [León groans]
- [Lázaro] You dumbass!
- You dumbass!
- [belt whips]
- Are you going to understand, or not?
- [León groans]
[Lázaro] Do we agree, asshole?
Or else it'll get worse for you!
This is how you learn, dumbass,
because you're a dumbass!
I want you to be a man,
- not a little fag! Let's go!
- What are you doing here?
- [belt whips]
- I was waiting for you,
- and I heard a noise
- [Abi] It's normal.
- It always happens.
- [Lázaro] Learn, you dumbass!
- Nothing! That's it, cry like a bitch!
- Let's go.
- No, Abi, how?
- Let's go.
- No, Abi.
- Let's go.
- [rooster crows]
- [Lázaro] You dumbass!
[León] No, Dad! No, no, Dad!
[Lázaro] Are you a man, or not?
Are you a man, or not?
- [folk music playing]
- [gunshot]
- [shooter 2] Ah! [chuckles]
- [shooter 1] Oh.
- [shooter 2] Give it to me.
- [shooter 1] Let's see, then.
[shooter 2]
Look. The first one, the first one.
Ah, that's it! [chuckles]
Eh? It's like that.
- Like that.
- [chuckles]
- [sighs]
- [Abi] What's up? This is Charly.
What's up?
Cat got your tongues, or what? Say hello.
- What's up?
- [Charly] What's up?
What? Are you gonna join
our pickup matches too, or what?
In this town,
we men all know how to shoot, right?
- Leave him alone, Jaco.
- [Jaco scoffs]
It's fine, Abi.
You don't have to do it
if you don't want to.
Yeah, if you don't want to, eh?
[folk music continues]
[Abi sighs]
You're freaking good.
My grandma taught me before she died.
If you'd like,
I can give you some tips later.
- [Jaco's friend chuckles] Ooh.
- Yeah, go on.
- [Jaco's friend] Okay, Jaco, show him.
- You did great.
Thanks.
Ooh! What happened, my Jaco?
Don't get nervous, Jaco.
I thought everyone knew how to shoot.
[Jaco's friends laughing]
[crickets chirping]
1K followers
5546 followers
As you'll see, my Charly, you'll have
lots of options in Mexico City, eh?
I mean, in addition to all of this,
I obviously have lots of bros
who owe me a lot of favors.
I scratched their backs,
they'll scratch mine.
[both chuckle]
There are a lot of options.
Hello, hello!
He llo.
Hello.
Mr. Mayor, how may we help you?
No, nothing, nothing.
Nothing, Mr. Tejeda, mmm?
I actually just came to give Charly
a few things that I'd promised him.
But, well, that's it.
- See you tomorrow, champion, eh?
- [chuckles]
- Rest well so you can sock it to 'em.
- For sure.
- Thanks a lot.
- Yeah, no worries.
- Thank you. Take care, eh?
- Have a good evening.
Okay.
Johnny!
I just don't like that guy.
He's my friend, Dad. He just wants
to help me get into a good school.
No, Son. No, man.
[chuckles] No, forget about that.
He's not your friend.
All that kind of person is looking for is
to get themselves ahead.
And if that were true,
what's it to you, eh?
Or what? Are you going to pay
for my college education?
That's what I thought.
[bells toll]
[rooster crows]
[Charly] Glasses, jicara,
rope.
Mmm. And some ranch stories.
Oh, yeah. [chuckles]
You'll have fun in the mountains
with that little book, won't you?
Ha ha ha. That's funny.
No. Grandpa gave them to me.
No shit. Really?
[chuckles] Yeah.
Okay, well, time to get serious.
I think you're ready, bro.
You've got everything, right?
How are you feeling?
Good. Good. Honestly,
I'm a bit nervous, but but I'm excited.
[Estelita] Dad, no,
it's too early for a tallboy.
- [Pepe scoffs]
- [Charly] That's the way, Grandpa.
It was high time for you
to start supporting the next champion.
- Shh, shh. [chuckles]
- [chuckles] Great.
And you, Mom?
When are you going to wear the T-shirt
with the next winner on it?
Oh, don't get cocky now, eh?
Don't be too sure of yourself,
because today's gonna be really tough, eh?
No, no. You relax, I'll be nervous.
Kid, since I feel
like you're part of this family,
I've got another gift for you, mmm?
[Charly chuckles]
Make my granddaughter Carlota proud.
[Charly] Thanks a lot, Grandpa.
This this is going to help me a lot.
Charly, let's go. It's getting late.
Let's go.
[sibling] Go, guys. Go.
Best of luck, bro.
- Thanks. See you.
- Bye, Son.
- Bye.
- Lots.
If you weren't such a fucking slacker,
none of this would've happened.
Do you think I like
going around beating you up?
You're pretty stupid, eh?
- [folk music playing]
- [people cheering, laughing]
[cheering]
THE KING OF THE MACHOS
[photographer] Smile.
ARE YOU THE MOST MACHO?
GIVE IT A TRY!!!
- Go ahead.
- No, you gotta be kidding, my good man.
No, no, no. Please, go ahead, go ahead.
Make my day.
[chuckles] All right.
Can you hold this for me?
[chuckles]
That wasn't bad.
[bell dings]
[spectators cheer]
Oh, well, my good man. I smoked you.
[chuckles]
And my son's gonna do the same
to your little girl.
And before the most extreme test begins,
we're here with an exclusive interview
with Chilín González,
who's going to tell us about his journey.
And, tell us, Chilín,
how long have you been
One moment.
Welcome to this big day,
dear residents of Tunas.
Let's start today's test
by calling our nine macho hopefuls
into the ring.
Come on in, please.
Let's have a big round of applause!
Let's hear it!
The contestants will have to take on the
forces of nature,
equipped only with their map and
other tools we've allowed them to have.
[Joel] Congrats. Very good, very good.
Their goal is to capture the flag
that's their assigned color
[León] Stop looking at me,
fucking Charlota.
What? What's wrong, León Castillo?
I wanted to ask the committee
if it'd be possible
to change Carlota's bandanna
to a pink one.
- I mean, given the circumstances, right?
- [spectators laughing]
- Boo!
- [spectators booing]
[Miriam] Hey, shh, no, no. Quiet, please.
Show some respect, if you'd be so kind.
Everybody, quiet, please.
We will now search the backpacks
to make sure no one is cheating.
Sir, please. Mr. Víctor.
Okay, we're looking. We're looking, guys.
Just in case.
- See? There's nothing.
- That's it. Great, great.
- I don't have anything in there.
- Excellent. All right, let's see.
Ah, some water, great.
Let go, let go, boy. Let go.
[sighs] Mrs. Miriam,
something is off here.
- What? What is that? [laughs]
- What is that? What is that?
- [Víctor] No, we can't have that.
- [Joel] Telésforo brought a teddy bear.
[Miriam] That's not allowed. No, no way.
No. Look Look, look.
[León] Probably packed her skirt.
Shut up already.
- [Joel as teddy bear] Goodbye.
- [laughing]
Do you think this challenge will be easy?
- [spectators] No, no, no.
- No, it won't be.
The participants will face
nature's hidden forces
in order to capture their flag.
Once they have their flag in hand,
they'll have to get out of awful
and dangerous natural obstacles
to reach the finish line.
Charly, I'm so excited.
Can I have your autograph?
- My pleasure.
- Thank you.
We're superfans, eh?
[Miriam] We'll confirm and certify
that they crossed the finish line
with their assigned flag.
Now we'll check their backpacks
- Want me to personalize it for you?
- Please.
That's gross, Charly.
- [Miriam] Mr. Víctor, please. Víctor.
- Thank you.
- [Charly] Thanks a lot.
- Good luck.
See you at the finish line.
[Miriam] Are you ready?
Break a leg, my brave ones!
And on your mark, get set, go!
[spectators cheering]
FINISH
[cheers]
THE EXTREME MACHO TES
[Mario] Let it go, asshole.
Okay, it's yours.
[pants]
I'LL FOR SURE
GO TO WAR WITH YOU
[whimpering]
[shrieks]
Oh, no.
[birds squawking]
Shh!
[Charly] Fucking
Fucking map, it's wrong!
[sighs]
[pants]
[teacher] Great,
now we rub on the needle really hard.
Be careful, don't prick yourselves.
Once it's ready, we take a dry leaf
we set it down
and we place our needle on it.
And this will show us the way. See that?
[kissing] Ah, you like
being in control, eh? [kisses]
[panting]
No, shit, a fucking river. [groans, pants]
Now we have to see
how we'll cross this fucking river.
Wait.
Why is mine different?
Give me my map, idiot.
All of the maps are supposed to be
the same. Why is mine different?
I don't know
what you're talking about, idiot.
You swapped mine out.
Didn't you, you idiot?
I didn't do anything, Charlota.
You're a fucking cheater, León!
Look, you dumbass
Charly! Charly, I don't know how to swim!
- Charly!
- Grab onto the stick, dude!
- Charly!
- Dog paddle, dude, dog paddle!
- Charly!
- Hold on!
- Try to grab the stick!
- Charly!
Help me! Charly!
[panting]
- Calm down! Don't pull on my shoulder!
- I can't!
[panting]
You're drowning me!
[Charly coughing]
[León panting]
- [straining, panting]
- [panting]
[pants]
You're a piece of shit! For real!
[coughs]
[screams]
Ladies don't drink.
Yes, Dad.
He's taking a while.
Do you want to have a beer with me?
No, Toñita. I get buzzed very quickly.
It's embarrassing.
You have it, you need it. Mmm? Drink up.
Why do you say that?
You don't look good.
[spectator] The first guy's here,
the first guy's here!
[spectators clamoring]
[spectator yells, laughs]
Here he comes! [laughs]
[Miriam] Here comes
our first macho hopeful. And it's
- Who is it? I can't see anything.
- [Joel] It's Jesús!
- [Víctor] Jesús, Jesús!
- [Miriam] Jesús!
[Víctor] Jesús! Let's have
a big round of applause for Jesús.
[Miriam] I don't have
my glasses. Congratulations!
[Joel] Congratulations, kid! Very good!
First place, first place!
Can you believe that scrawny kid beat
your dumbass brother?
All León does is humiliate me.
- [Víctor] There he is, look!
- [Miriam] Yes! Telésforo!
[Víctor] Telésforo!
Great that you made it, kid, eh?
[Joel] Great that you made it.
Give it to him already. Let it go.
[Víctor] Let's go, Fidel! Keep going.
Go on, go on. Go on, go on!
- [Joel] Come on, come on,
- [air horn blasts]
- [Miriam] Fidel!
- [Víctor] Fidel,
ladies and gentlemen! Fidel! [chuckles]
- Fidel! Stop running!
- Come on, come on! That's it!
[laughs]
Ah, here comes someone else!
Who is it? There he is! Who is it?
- [shouting] Eh?
- [cheering]
- That's right!
- [spectators cheering]
[gasps] Charly! Ah! [laughs]
Charly! That's awesome! Charly!
- Yes! [laughs]
- [shouts]
Charly Tejeda moves on to the next round!
Charly, you made it! [laughs]
[Miriam] Charly Tejeda moves on
to the next round!
Great! Great!
That's great, Charly. That's great, Son.
- Always!
- [groans]
I knew you could do it!
- You had us on pins and needles.
- No way. How'd you do it?
I couldn't have done
any of this without you.
I know.
[Miriam] Our macho hopeful
in fifth place is León,
who moves on to the next round.
No! Don't be down!
Fifth place ain't bad, León!
Ooh, ooh!
[shrieks, laughs] Way to go! How was it?
[León] Good, but it was fucking hard.
[friend] Good, dude, good. You did well.
No problem. You're doing well.
- No, I mean, it's hard.
- [speaks indistinctly]
Who'd you say was going to smoke whom?
[chuckles]
[sobbing] How the fuck
did I make it, dude?
[Inés] And we're here
with the most extremely macho
of all extremely macho guys.
Jesús "The Bicep" Fernández, who won
today's test at The King of the Machos.
FIRST-PLACE WINNER
OF THE EXTREME MACHO TES
Jesús is going to tell us what he felt
as he went into the abyss
that is the jungle
of San José de las Tunas.
What he felt as he saw
his life flash before his eyes.
Jesús.
- For me
- One second, one second. Shh.
Eh, eh? They're telling me
we're out of time.
I'm sorry, dear viewers.
For Tuna TV, Inés Montoya.
It smells very good, honey. Eh?
- Yes.
- It really does smell good.
- Pour me a little soda.
- [stammers]
- It's ready, eh?
- Today is a special night, right?
- Daughter
- [Alonso] Mmm?
- [whispering] Now.
- Son.
Louder.
Charly! Time for dinner!
- [Pepe] Is Carlota coming?
- [Alonso, whispering] I'll explain later.
Son. Have a seat.
I'll serve you. But first
[chuckles]
What's this?
Open it.
What is this?
I thought you might need some underwear.
Oh, you gotta be kidding, Mom. I don't
wear these. Not even if I were a stripper.
- Mmm. Okay. [chuckles] I'll go get dinner.
- [Alonso] Yeah.
Eat what they made you for dinner
so you'll get strong, bro.
It smells good, doesn't it?
- [whispering] For sure.
- [Charly] Yes.
[Pepe] Mmm.
My granddaughter is coming soon, eh?
Mmm!
- Please. [chuckles]
- Charly first.
Seriously?
Chicken soup?
I go all day without eating,
to the point where I practically fainted.
And you come out here with chicken soup?
Uh
[inhales deeply] There's other stuff.
We have snacks too.
I'd be better off buying some street food.
Hey, tone it down.
You're crossing the line.
You can act like that with other people,
but not here at home.
I won't allow you to,
do you understand me?
[Abi] Hi, handsome.
- Do you want a ride?
- Please.
[kisses]
- Ready?
- Ready.
Where are you gonna take me?
- Wherever you'd like.
- [laughs]
It's like my family doesn't know me.
It's like they don't understand
the effort I've put in to get here.
You're doing amazing,
and not just in the contest.
What you're doing for the town is badass.
A lot of people are coming
to their senses, thanks to you.
At least I have you.
- Yes.
- Yes.
[kissing]
[sighs]
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's fine. I'm just not ready.
Are we good?
Is it okay?
It's okay.
- Yes.
- Yes.
[kissing]
BETO'S TACOS
I don't know how to put this, you
You can't imagine
what I'm seeing right now.