The Moodys (2014) s01e06 Episode Script

You're in finance, Mr Benson? You know how a hedge fund works? No, no, I'm not overly familiar with hedge funds.
You wouldn't understand then.
Cora's family hates you.
Big deal.
Don't It's interesting, isn't it, the Australian flag? Not really sure what meaning it has.
I fought under that flag.
It certainly means something to me.
Happy birthday, Bridge.
You are busted! I'm gonna go.
Yeah, yeah, sorry.
Oh, God! You can become Mayor of Bikestown and you can build bike lanes and win your old girlfriend back.
You are brilliant.
You know what Terry Moody's all about.
On your Bike.
Bike, yes.
Eagle Master to Sparrow Foot.
Sparrow Foot, do you copy? This is Eagle Master.
Yes, I'm here, Sean.
Sorry, who's that? Sean, you know who this is.
OK, copy that, Eagle Master, this is Sparrow Foot, loud and clear.
Company protocol, Sparrow Foot.
Gotta use call signs.
Prevents miscommunications and mishaps.
Understood? Yep, understood.
OK, yep, copy that, Eagle Master.
Very good.
Ready to activate the timer? Ah, yeah, is it the right one? Just remember your training, mate.
I was trained to take photos.
And other duties, mate.
This is other duties, alright? It's a 20-minute timer so you've got plenty of time to come back here and take your pissy-pants photos.
OK.
Whoa! So you got any plans this weekend, or? No.
Still, don't forget to vote in the, ah, local election tomorrow.
Vote 1 - Terry Moody.
There's quite a bit on the chin there, mate.
There's, ah, nothing in the eyebrows, though? He doesn't have any eyebrows now, so .
.
none of Dawn's ashes can be in them.
OK, we have your blood work here.
Oh, goodie.
And the results are .
.
inconclusive.
Inconclusive.
Yah.
What does that mean? Any number of things.
We'll have to test again.
Right.
Well, I've been running for local council and the elections are tomorrow, so I've been burning the candle at both ends.
So just running on empty and I'm sure that's all it is.
Could be.
And I've recently had a relationship end.
Keeps me up most nights.
It's just that she's a complicated creature.
Vonnie.
Hard as nails on the outside but you scratch the surface Just sign there.
Yep, righto.
We'll call you when we have the results.
Right.
Right, I'm sure that's all it is.
What I said.
You can leave.
Yeah.
Here.
Thank you.
Oh, almost forgot.
Vote 1 - Terry Moody.
On your bike.
Telling whether fish is Ready.
.
.
cooked is the biggest concern for many Chefs.
.
.
people.
Hey.
Why so angry? What? Yes.
Yep.
Oh, great.
Excellent.
Thanks.
I'm so glad you're living with us, Sean.
Oh, me too.
It's not funny.
It is funny, mate.
I had to do that.
Don't encourage him.
Hey, don't get so aggressive.
I'm not How would you like a pair, huh? No! No, no! No, it's permanent marker! Stop! What? That's not what he used on me, is it? Yep.
Permanent? I am going for breakfast with Roger and Bridget.
Are you coming? No, Terry guilted me into handing out flyers at his polling station.
You sure he wants Doctor Spock handing out flyers? Yes, actually Star Trek's very big in his electorate.
Bye.
Bye, darling.
Ohh! Mm-hm.
Is that our mail? Whoa-ho, looks like Cora's got a date with the tax man.
Are you right there? Sorry, mate, I thought it was mine.
What, 'cause it says Cora Benson on it? Oi, Seano, hurry up! OK, mate, what's going on here? We've gotta go.
Ah, you know what? I'm gonna have to hang here for a bit.
It's Terry's election.
We have to help him.
Sean, hurry up! Shut up! OK, well, listen, we've got four bookings next week so you're gonna have to sort out the eyebrow situation.
You cannot show up to work looking like a pathetic vampire.
Tez! Tez! What? Where are ya? Hey? Councilman Moody! You ready to shred that snake Ferguson? Oh, for Mate, we've gotta go.
What's going on? I don't feel too good, Seanie.
Still? Have you been back to the doctor? Yeah.
And? Inconclusive.
Inconclusive? So it could be anything.
Yeah, it's just a little fluey-like thing.
Is it? Or is it flu-like symptoms, you know what I'm talking about? Full-blown? What are you saying? Nothin'.
Just might be AIDS, that's all.
Oh, get off.
Mate, 'inconclusive'.
That's how they get ya.
That's how they tell you about it.
Did the doctor make eye contact? Give you a little lolly? Maybe a mint, maybe? Take the edge off? You're an idiot.
Am I? Mate, you've thrown it around a bit.
Bit of exotica in there too.
You've done very well, considering.
Well, I don't kiss and tell, but I have done pretty well in that area.
Mate, you're always on the hunt.
You can't be alone.
Well, I'm single now.
Yeah, you are single, and now look at you wasting away by yourself.
Look, I'm just a little run down, OK? I'm running for local council.
To impress a girl! That's my point.
And now, if I Enough, alright! Just Just help me to get ready, please.
What? I'm not dressing you.
My undies are in the drawer.
I'm not touching 'em.
Please? Oh, what is that stench? Even if it wasn't my name, I'd still like it.
It's one of those names that was cool, then it went out of vogue, but now it's cool again, you know? Roger.
Roger.
Roger.
So, how has Matt taken the idea of being a new dad? Yeah.
Does he even know he's going to be a dad? We've decided he doesn't need to know.
I haven't decided yet whether or not to tell him.
Well, he hasn't called since he knocked you up, so why should you? Oh, you have to tell him.
I don't expect anything, so But he's going to find out, surely? We've been very careful.
I just don't want to complicate things.
I mean We don't really know each other that well, and I I just want to focus right now on having this baby.
Well, isn't it polite to let someone know you're having their child? Was it polite of him to put his penis inside her in the front seat of his car? Particularly after he'd been flirting with me all night.
Roger, just shut up.
No, I'm sorry.
But he who flees after raiding the honey pot forgoes his rights to syrup.
If you want the syrup you've got to get in the kitchen, regardless of the heat.
He can't come in late and expect syrup.
It's common sense.
You really think I should tell him? Yes.
I will speak to you Monday.
Great, OK.
They want to order my designs for the boutique in Melbourne.
What? Yeah.
That's awesome! Benson, congratulations! It's just a small run, but they said if Oh.
Why are you dressed as Pat Cash? Because I couldn't get rid of all the texta.
And what is all this? Sean accidentally opened one of your letters.
And so you just opened the rest? Well, because you're being audited, Cora.
When was the last time you lodged a tax return? Nobody knows.
Well, the Tax Department knows.
They know that you've never paid tax.
You can go to jail for that.
Oh, please.
I'm hardly a big fish.
Well, even little fish have to pay thousands of dollars in fines.
Chill out, McEnroe.
No, it's serious, Cora, OK? I think we need to get some advice on this, you know? Some professional advice, like from your dad.
My dad? Why would we call my dad? I just want you to remember whatever I did for you I did out of love.
Love.
Oh, God, kill me.
OK, right, here's the plan.
You two, put these on.
OK, now, I want you to man table sector one.
Plaster the place in posters.
14-hour drive to plaster posters.
It's fine.
We're happy to help.
Hey, hey, are you alright? You look like I feel.
I'm fine.
This is the way I look since I've been living in a sardine can with wheels.
It's a luxury vehicle.
It's a monstrosity.
It's been too much.
I hate it.
You said we'd be in a house and we're not in a house! Shut up! Man table sector one.
Go! Sir! Tez, Tez, Tez.
Here, take these.
Flu tablets.
Keep you going.
Thanks.
Oh, floral steamroller, two o'clock.
What? Two o'clock.
Two o'clock! There you are! Ooh.
Oh, dear.
Mm? Oh, someone is looking a little worse for wear.
No, I'm fine, thank you very much, Wendy.
Are you sure? You can always leave your how-to-vote cards on my table, if you like.
I'm sure you won't use them as toilet paper the minute we're gone.
When we're gone.
I'm fine.
Everything's fine.
I'm up for this.
Anyway, here's a little something I baked this morning.
Drop the act, Dragon Lady.
Drop it.
You may fool the voters Sorry? You don't fool us.
Oh, well, I hope you both have a great day.
We'll have a great day, thank you very much.
Good luck to you, Wendy.
Chookers.
She's good.
Snake in the grass, mate.
I can't believe you dobbed to my father! I You wouldn't answer your phone.
I was on the phone to the boutique.
You have no idea what he's like.
I know that he's good with finances and he has money, both of which you need.
You think that if you gang up on me that he's going to like you.
That is so not I think that if he helps you figure out what you owe, you won't go to jail.
This is a big mistake, Mister.
You are a dobber and a letter-opener, stealer man who looks like Tilda Swinton.
Can we get on with this? Ah, yeah, absolutely, Mr Benson.
For future reference, this place isn't big enough for whispering.
Good to know.
And your door's a bloody curtain.
Ahh - Are you ready? - Yeah, I'm ready.
I'm giving you a head start.
A head start? OK, let's do it! Bridget.
Hi.
How'd you know where I'd live? Oh, um, Roger had your address.
Well, how did Roger have Never mind.
Listen, can I talk to you about something for a second? Yeah, sure.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
I'm Bridget.
Oh, Nic.
Bridget works with me sometimes.
She's a real estate agent.
Ah, cool.
You wanted to talk about some work stuff? Oh, what about our run? I've already stretched.
Oh, you go ahead.
I'll catch up.
OK, but you owe me an extra lap.
OK.
Bye! Bye.
Nice to meet you.
She really likes running.
On your bike, Terry Moody.
Terry Moody, on your bike.
Thank you.
So young.
Oh, that's very nice of you to say.
Thank you.
- You keep on fighting.
- I will.
No, thank you, I've already voted.
Yeah? Right.
OK, here's a Dan's special Ethiopian green bean blend.
One for you.
Have one before every game.
I'm OK, thanks.
So where are you playing? Oh, just around the corner at the Henderson Park.
It's quite a good rate.
Who are you playing with? Oh, you know, just the guys.
Oh, the guys, yeah.
I'll tell you who's good at tennis, is Dad.
Really? Yeah.
You guys should have a game.
Why not? Oh, I'm sure you're in a league of your own.
So are you a serve-and-volley man or more of a baseline player? Oh, yeah, no, a bit of both, actually.
A bit of serve, and bit of volley from the baseline sometimes.
Anyway, what's the damage with the Well, based on your income and allowing for deductions and assuming we don't get hit with a hefty fine, I think you're going to be OK.
Really? Yeah.
Based on projected sales from this Melbourne venture, I think so.
Now, let's have a look at your situation, shall we, Daniel? Oh, no, I'm fine.
I don't need any help.
It's a joint account, is it? That's right.
I don't see any salary payments for you here.
That's because I've started working for my brother, so cash-in-hand stuff.
You're not paying tax? No.
What's this? There's a debit payment, Bob's Cameras, 900 dollars? Ah, yeah, that's for a camera lens.
But that's all tax-deductible.
It is if you're earning money as a photographer, and paying tax.
Got me there.
Advantage Benson.
Now, I will need to look at your online account.
We don't have the internet.
No, my brother went over the download limit looking at, you know, stuff.
By stuff, he means pornography.
Wasn't all pornography.
It was mostly pornography.
But not all.
So, how long have you and Nic been? About a month.
Oh, great.
Should I have told you about that? No.
No, that's your business.
Probably should have told you, though, because of, you know I don't tell you when I start seeing someone.
Are you seeing someone? No.
But if I was, I wouldn't tell you.
Right.
Right.
I could be seeing an entire football team and you would be the last to know.
So, what did you want to talk about? Oh, right.
Yeah, um, well, I just wanted to pop by and see if you were available to do an auction on the 24th? I'll check my diary but I'm sure I would be available then.
Great.
Oh, and I'm pregnant.
It's yours.
I don't expect anything from you.
I'm just letting you know.
How do you know it's mine? Oh, it's yours.
There haven't been any football teams, or anyone else for that matter.
And you're definitely, you know, gonna .
.
see it through? Yes.
You didn't think to tell me earlier, or have a discussion about it? Well, like I said, I don't expect anything from you.
OK, OK, alright.
OK.
So why are you telling me at all? Why? Um, well, I don't know.
Gee, Matt, maybe because I thought it was polite to let someone know when you're, um, carrying their child.
In fact, he's the bravest man I know.
What have you been telling people? Anyway, we appreciate your vote.
- Whatever he said is not true.
- I am as fit as a fiddle.
So brave, so brave.
Thank you.
Would you keep your voice down? What are you doing? Oh, me? Nothing.
Just turning the tide of the whole election.
People are coming up to me crying as though I'm dropping off the perch.
Have you been telling people I'm dying? Mr Speaker, I'm afraid I can't recall.
Alright, that is it.
You're unendorsed.
I hereby unendorse you.
Will you calm down? Do you want to win this thing? Yes.
Then guess what? This is what it takes.
You want to be in politics? This is politics.
Oh, you don't want to play the game? I didn't Fine.
Beat it.
Go play with your kids.
I don't have any kids.
If you want this, I mean really want this, this is what it takes.
Now, do you want to win this? No, not like this.
Yes, you do.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
No.
Yes, you just don't know you do.
I don't know, Sean.
No, you don't.
Don't I? Yes.
Usually this is where the signal's the strongest.
Judy's.
What's this Judy's? It's a cafe.
You spend 60 dollars a week on coffee? I like coffee.
So do I.
That's why I make it.
Yeah, except yours is gross.
What? Yeah, it's undrinkable.
I make better coffee than a cafe.
Have you been to a cafe? She's right.
Your coffee's far too bitter.
And watery.
60 dollars a week? That's three grand a year.
Hey! This is the last time! Get your own bloody internet! Mr Benson How's the RV? Oh, half the time the shower doesn't work and, you know, when we're not near a facility, there's no shower at all.
Oh, God, that sounds dreadful.
He said a couple of months.
Well, it's been six months.
Sounds like you need to do something for yourself.
Bit of Maree time.
Vonnie.
What a surprise! Not really.
It's compulsory to vote.
Yes, that's true.
So, you're really serious about all this council stuff, are you? Deadly serious.
I am passionate about bike lanes.
Passionate about the rights of the community cyclists.
One cyclist in particular.
What, so all this is for me, is it? Well, what can I say? I'm a romantic.
Well, it's too late.
I've moved on.
I don't go backwards.
No, no, no.
I'm not talking about going backwards.
I'm talking about moving forwards.
Riding, forwards, into the future on bike lanes built just for you.
We'll see.
Really? Oh, so if I win this thing, you'll come for a ride with me? You've gotta win it first.
Vince Relford, RSL Chairman.
G'day.
You've got the support of the club.
Is that the whole club? The whole club.
Thank you.
Don't you give up the fight.
Oh, no, Vince.
I will fight till the bitter end.
Good on ya.
Alright, all done.
I've divided the cash up into envelopes.
Isn't that all a little old-fashioned? So is paying taxes.
Those roads you drive on, that hospital you were born in, guess what funded them? Ah, taxes? Now, I've recorded it all in the online expense manager I set up for you.
Just remember, I can log on at any time and keep an eye on your expenses.
That's high-tech.
So I ask you to keep it up to date, and if you get through the first month OK, maybe we can dispense with the envelopes.
Great.
I'm sure Dan's really glad he called you.
Me too.
You'll see my accountant Thursday.
He'll lodge your tax return.
Aye-aye.
Good.
Good stuff.
Now about that lens.
I think we both know you can't afford it.
Yeah, that lens is gone.
No, no, you've got to keep that.
It's for your career.
Unless the tennis career pays off.
Speaking of which, can I give you a lift? Oh, actually, I just got a text from the guys.
Guess what? Cancelled on me again.
Oh, I can organise something.
I'll give a few people a ring.
Oh, no, I I I'm a bit out of practice.
No, he's being modest.
He's such a good player.
It'll be great.
Come on.
Good.
Thank you so much for coming, Dad.
Well, I haven't lost straight sets in a while.
No, me neither.
Seanie, Seanie! Yeah, yeah? Do you think we did the right thing today? Yeah, mate, totally.
How many of those flu tablets have you had? Well, I don't know.
How many should I have? No more, alright? OK.
Alright.
You want to study? Study what? Well, I don't know.
I need to do something for me.
Hey, Mum, why don't you study your purse and pull me out a lobster, or better yet, a pineapple? Sean.
Bridget.
Hey, what are you doing here? Look, I heard about what happened with Matt.
I just wanted to say Heard? How? OK, I saw it from afar.
Look, I just want you to know that I'm here for you, OK? Thank you.
I want to help you raise this child.
Roger, it's No, no, I can move in and we can do it together.
And I'm willing to keep you satisfied in a sexual nature.
OK, that's gross.
It's gross for me too, so Is everybody here for Tez? No, for the football.
So, how was it? Well, almost as embarrassing as having no eyebrows.
If only I'd worn this beanie this morning instead of that stupid sweatband.
If only you hadn't called my dad.
OK, yes, you were right.
But who would have known he'd be such a financial extremist? I did.
OK, yes, you did.
Well, let me make it up to you with Here we go.
Well What does that mean? Read it.
Are they lottery numbers? No.
They're odds.
Are you the favourite? Are you at the top? That's him halfway down.
No, that's me there.
Are the numbers in order or not? I don't get it.
Oh, Jesus, you lot, I won.
I'm in! Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech! - We did it! - Yes! Oi! Down in front there.
Oh, yep, yep.
Look, firstly, well, I'd like to thank my opponent, Wendy Ferguson, for her excellent campaign.
Come on! Yes! Go, Wendy! Oh, yes, go the blue team.
Yeah! .
.
my family for their unwavering support.
And I couldn't have done it without you.
Sit down, ya goose! Yep, yep.
Anyway, thank you and drinks are on me.
Yeah! No, no, family only.
No spirits.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner! What'd I say? Was I right or was I right? Scotty.
Yes.
What is that? Mate, first order of business.
Halloween fireworks.
Pow-pow! Just need a tick from local council.
I don't know, Seanie.
I'm a bike lanes man now.
But you also told half the electorate you were dying.
Which you started, so You're not dying? No, 'course he's not.
Awesome! Oh, but you told everyone that you were.
I still might be sick.
The tests were inconclusive.
No, I spoke to your doctor this morning.
You're fine.
How did you speak to my doc Ah, hello, Terry Moody! You answered my telephone? You were busy.
Point is, I've greased your chain, so now I need a little ride.
Trick or treat? Eh? Sean, I can't believe you were playing me, your favourite uncle! Mate, it's not personal.
It's politics.
That's the game! You're gonna look back on this as a defining moment in your career.
Oh, Yvonne, guess what? Terry's not dying anymore.
Dying? What? Well, no, it was just Just Ohh.
Who are they? So what are you doing here? Well, I just thought I'd come and see how you went, and you won! Yes.
So I guess now you owe me that bike ride.
Maybe.
Yeah! He's gonna be a natural when it's your turn.
Oh, I'm not sure I'll have a turn.
Um Incoming! You're a liar, Moody! On your bike, Moody! Since when did politicians have to tell the truth? So you just don't ever want to have kids? Why do I have to decide the night before I leave? I was hoping to see Bridget.
There's a lot more of her to see since you did your dirty work.
I was hoping we might send their ashes up together.
Let's talk music.
How about a little Rocket Man to send him off? Did Cora come home yet? Didn't she leave you? Well, maybe we're not right for each other.
So, what, we just break up?