The Oblongs (2011) s01e06 Episode Script
Get Off My Back
Oblongs, Oblongs Down in the valley where a chemical spill Came from the people living up on the Hill There's a family by the landfill with hazardous foam In their happy glowing home Oblongs Another Dump Day.
-l'm scared, George.
-There, there, dear.
The sanitation trucks are on their way.
l want our oversized refuse buried in a landfill.
l don't want anyone to actually use it.
l just can't help but wonder what kind of filthy, bottom-feeding vermin would pilfer another man's garbage.
-Happy Dump Day! -Happy Dump Day, sweetheart.
When l lived in the hills, l threw away my trash.
Now that same trash is my bounty.
Funny, isn't it? Does it worry anyone that l can't stop laughing? Mom! Dad! l'm so excited, l've been hopping all night.
You might wanna switch feet there, Milo.
That one's pretty swollen.
No can do, Pop.
Right one's for Christmas.
Left one, Dump Day.
Well, why don't you put that energy to good use -and go get Biff and Chip.
-The sooner we get to the hills the sooner we can get our hands on some fine, large garbage.
Where do you think you're going, ass-breath? Yeah, ass-breath, because his breath smells like ass.
Trespassing requires-- -Punishment.
-You read my mind.
-l always-- -Do.
Can we get this over with? Because it's Dump Day, and l've got a lot on my plate.
-Mega-wedgy! -Mega-wedgy! They'll be right down.
Dear Lord, thank you for this bountiful blessing of rich people's crap.
Now, let's go refurnish the house! Look, Milo, l found a retainer.
lt fits, too.
What, l am not allowed to have a little fun? Give me that! l'll show you how a Hula-Hoop is supposed to be used.
l found a cute new belt.
l cut my bottom on a rusty nail.
When did you have your last tetanus shot? l don't think l've ever ha-- Mommy can't live with that racket.
Honey, say hello to our new gargoyle.
-Why do we need a gargoyle? -lt's supposed to ward off evil spirits.
Lord knows we don't want misfortune to befall our perfect little family.
Hey, Mom, l found a spear gun.
Can we go to SeaWorld? Milo, be careful.
That thing is loaded.
Guess Mommy is too.
Hi there.
We were hoping some cute boys would come along and take us for an expensive meal we could just pick at.
-They're totally flirting with us.
-Just ignore them.
We came here to find a Pec Blaster so we can make our nipples dance.
Who cares about our nipples? l'm interested in their nipples.
Chip, life isn't just about partying.
lt's about setting goals and achieving them.
Then showering with the team and snapping each other's butts with towels.
lt doesn't matter anyway.
lt's not like we have any money for a date.
Dude, check it out! lt's a "hundsky" ! -Hey, it's over here.
-No, it's over here.
l don't know what you're looking at.
Hey, Doublemint dorks.
Walk much? Like we'd ever go out with total losers like them.
This was the greatest Dump Day ever.
What did you two boys get? -Humiliated.
-Everybody thinks we're losers.
Let me tell you something, boys.
Real losers are the ones who call you losers.
ln addition, of course, to the aforementioned original losers who in this case would be.
-Why don't you give me a hand here.
-Jesus.
Oh, come on, you pouty Petes.
Help me rip the newspaper off this gargoyle.
l can't afford another paper cut on my soft palate.
Hey, what's this? "Feel like a loser? Before you try suicide, triathlon.
The Hill Valley Two-Man Triathlon.
" We gotta do this.
Yeah, yeah, l know.
Goals, achievement, towels.
"Test your manhood against last year's winners Jared Klimer and his obnoxious friend Blaine.
" Those buttbags? Count me in! -We gotta start training now.
-But l wanna go lie in the bathroom -and eat Hot Pockets.
-Chip.
All right, all right.
Let's do it.
-l'm down.
-What are you doing? Because l'm doing-- -You wanna go for a run? -Running's good.
Ready, set fire! That's an owie! My turn.
You can break my spine, but not my spirit.
-My turn.
-No way.
l didn't go yet.
There's a little law called gravity that might have something to say about that.
Oh, crap.
That's Biff and Chip's room.
-l can't go in there.
-They're out sprinting.
l saw them all sweaty in their spandex.
"Ran laps behind coach at practice.
l hope someday to have his perfect buttocks.
" "Came in early today.
Coach was alone in the Jacuzzi--" Boring.
Looks like someone just ordered a knuckle sandwich.
With a side of noogies.
-Let's do stuff to him.
-Yeah, stuff.
This should do the trick.
-You okay? -Yeah.
-Me too.
-Oh, my God! Dad, Milo's glued to our back! What do we do? Actually, l need your advice.
Should l go towards the bright light or away from it? Well, unfortunately, the glue went through to your skin.
And it says here it's permanent.
Are you saying l'll be joined to another person for the rest of my life? -We'll be freaks! -Now, we just have to look at the positives.
First of all, there is safety in numbers.
Well, l'm tapped.
Wait, l've got it.
No, it was just a salami burp.
l've drawn up a five-year plan complete with grids, pie charts and cartoons where applicable.
Follow this and your lives should continue pretty much as usual only a third less fulfilling.
According to this decision tree you guys have to do what l want till 0600 tomorrow.
But we have to train for the triathlon.
Biff, will you stop setting goals? l got a hyperactive elf breathing halitosis in my ear.
You're one to talk, Mr.
Zit-Neck.
Milo, stop talking about how ugly Chip is.
And, Chip, leave Milo's rancid breath out of this.
l won't have these insults in my house.
Besides, a true competitor can overcome any adversity.
-Just look at Lou Gehrig.
-He died.
l know, but just look at him.
-l see what you mean.
-l have to go to the bathroom.
ln that case, l'm going into a trance.
Mommy, what's a trance? Something your brothers do to give each other privacy.
l really have to go! Number one or number two? -A little of both.
-Good night, folks.
This pressure's not helping.
Okay, the first order of business is to pick a new name for our club on account of some of us can't pronounce the word Algonquin.
l propose we call ourselves the Knights of Backyardia.
l have a better one.
How about the Lame-Ass Stupid Baby Club? -Yeah, l second it.
-Yeah.
l third it.
Hey, did you guys know there's a ginormous tree toad in here? l love you.
l Frenched Milo! Good night, my little shmuzzle-wuzzle pookie-wookie.
Pickles, do you think it queer that there's smoke rising from under her covers? Now, Bob, according to Dr.
Spock if you worry about every little thing we could give her a complex.
lt's a lot of smoke.
We're all joined in a clump.
Where do they get this stuff? Precious.
Boys, you're not near ready for this triathlon.
Your time in the dash is up from 1 0.
8 seconds to 1 :1 2.
And apparently you've gained 65 pounds.
Look who's talking, thunder thighs.
Now, that's just cruel.
l have struggled with my weight problem for years.
Don't you ever talk to coach like that.
Hey! Behold the ugliest of all sea creatures: The octo-dork.
So this chump clump is our competition for the two-man triathlon? We are gonna smoke you like a spiral-cut ham.
Jared, Biff says you're a wuss-cake.
Oh, he does, huh? Wait, it was Chip who said it.
All right, just a couple thousand squat thrusts and we can call it a night.
Squat all you want, l have a date.
l'm taking Courtney to the movies.
-You wanna beat Blaine and Jared or not? -Of course l do.
But according to Dad's pie chart, l'll be reaching my sexual peak at 9 tonight.
l'd like to be near a female other than Mom.
Hey, l love Mom.
l vote movie.
Anything without Steve Buscemi.
Sorry, dude.
Two to one.
l don't believe this.
l am so trancing out.
lf l were you, l would take this opportunity to vigorously scrub his armpits.
Any chance your other brother can go into a trance too? l doubled my Ritalin just to get this calm.
Try to ignore him.
Hey, why are you squeezing my booby? -Are you trying to feel me up? -No, l was feeling Milo up.
There are so many things wrong with that.
No, you don't get it.
l was trying to score with you.
That's it.
l'm out of here.
Thanks, dillweed.
l really liked her.
Courtney, my brother's just nervous because he likes you so much.
He says you have a beautiful soul.
That changes everything.
l think l'm in love.
And it's all thanks to you, little bro.
No problem, big bro.
Should we wake up sleeping bro? We never get to hang out, just the two of us.
Hey, that reminds me of a song.
-How long was l out? -l don't know.
Who cares? Hey, where'd you get those mugs? We made them at Next of Kiln.
But we were supposed to make bro mugs.
Wow, l sure didn't miss your whining.
You know, you could learn a lot from Milo.
He knows how to cut loose.
Thanks, Chip.
Hey, you wanna go to the convenience store and buy some sucking candy? You are Dr.
Funstein.
-l'm fun.
-Come on, Milo, let's ditch him.
Pickles, where are my ankle weights? Gargoyle! Gargoyle! Get it off! Get it off! Oh, that is so cute.
l love to see you two playing.
l wanna get my camera.
Honey, what were you doing on Daddy's back? l wanna be stuck to you.
"l want, l want, l want.
" When l was your age, l hopped 50 miles to school through the driving snow, always looking over my shoulder for the snow monkeys.
l think l have a concussion.
Swimming is Blaine and Jared's strongest event so we gotta practice really, really hard.
Chip, you're not shaved or oiled.
And those trunks aren't aquadynamic.
l talked him out of it.
Speedos are just a pathetic cry for attention.
-Shut up.
-Hey, don't talk to my brother like that Dingus Khan.
Dingus Khan? You know, sometimes words hurt more than a tightly balled fist.
l'm gonna swim it off.
Sludge fight! Eat sewage, dude! Come on.
Quit fooling around.
Remember what coach says? "Pride, sacrifice, desire.
" -l desire you to shut up.
-Why are you talking like this? -We used to be a team.
-You have a fish on your face.
Ever since Milo got stuck to us, l don't even know you.
Hey, at least Milo knows how to have fun.
l wouldn't mind if he was stuck to me for the rest of my life.
Hey, guys, look at me! l'm a bilge pump! Milo, you came off.
Oh, yeah.
Must be all the toxins in the swamp.
l think l swallowed a rabbit.
l'm going home.
Thank God things can finally get back to normal.
Come on, let's start training.
Sludge fight! You almost got that in my mouth.
l could get a canker sore.
Sorry.
For a minute, l thought you were the fun brother.
Hey, l can be fun.
ln fact, l'm going to train 24/7/365 until l'm the undisputed champion of gaiety.
Great.
Now l'm gonna get head hives.
Well, that was one of the worst adhesive-related crises this family's ever faced.
But we came through with flying colors.
-Hey, Milo, could you pass the--? -Salt.
You read my mind.
-Hey, Biff, could l have the--? -Strawberry jam.
You know he's allergic to strawberries.
Why don't you just put a bullet in his head? -Come on, Chip, we gotta hit the track.
-Yeah, yeah.
Later, little dude.
See you, bro.
Milo, now that Biff and Chip are gone, we can be a clump.
Okay, one, l don't understand what you're saying.
Two, you have syrup on your butt.
l hope.
Bob, l'm getting worried about Beth.
What if that thing on her head is taking over her personality? Oh, my God! Chip's in trouble! What the--? Dude, you saved my life.
You're the best brother ever.
Hang on a second.
What the hell are you doing? We finally get that polyp scraped off and you wanna carry him in a Snugli? When are you gonna accept that our relationship is a reality -and move on with your life? -lt's sad, is what it is.
l've had it.
We got a big race tomorrow.
Our dignity's on the line.
Either he goes or l go.
Fine.
l'll run the race with Milo.
What? But you guys are a team.
Not anymore, we're not.
l'm out of here.
Oh, yeah.
So you're saying Beth has been trying to attach herself -to other members of the family? -That's right.
Have there been changes in your household? Well, l did rust-proof the gutters.
Why don't you tell me what's going on.
Slowie says all the boys were stuck together and she felt left out.
We're not talking about the doll.
We're talking about you.
But Slowie said she's talking for Beth.
Well, l've had enough of this foolishness.
Doctor, l see what the problem is now.
My baby just needs some attention.
Excuse me.
l think l know a little more about psychology than you do.
Biff, this is your last chance.
Don't you wanna be Chip's partner? No.
You guys are partners now.
Wake me when it's over.
Hey, Chipper, looks like you've got some dead weight there.
l'm used to carrying Biff around.
l was referring to the one-eyed, one-haired wonder.
Everyone says you two have sex with each other.
Ladies and gentlemen, the mayor.
Welcome to the annual two-man triathlon.
lt always gets me pumped to see great athletes competing.
Unfortunately, l don't see any great athletes.
Just a bunch of candy-ass nancy boys who couldn't go round one with the likes of Johnny "The Mayor" Bledsoe! But l guess weaklings have dreams too.
So let the games begin.
Yeah! You did it, Milo! We won the first event.
That's it.
Keep your weight over the seat.
Pedal.
Pedal! You're doing it.
You're doing it.
Guess we should have worked on that ahead of time.
-You okay, kid? -The right side of my body feels fine -but the left side is completely numb.
-Welcome to my world.
You're gonna have to finish without me.
But where am l gonna find a partner this late in the race? What? ls it over? For me it is.
l'm injured.
But Chip needs a partner.
Yeah, a goof-off like that needs all the help he can get.
Hey, he may be a goof-off with a Dorothy Hamill haircut but he has more heart than you ever will.
Rah, rah, Biff.
"Pride, sacrifice, desire.
" You're a first-string dork.
You got the "first-string" part right.
Sure, he may be an annoying, anal attaboy, but when he puts his mind to something -he rocks.
-Rock on, Chip.
-So you'll be my--? -Partner? Definitely.
Ladies and gentlemen, there has been a slight change in our final event.
Because l am bored stiff the 26-mile marathon has been replaced by a 1 00-yard three-legged race.
Come on, move it, pussies! Whoever wins this wins it all.
Let's kick their hill butts.
l'm sorry, man.
l should have trained harder.
Hey, winning isn't everything.
At least we had fun.
Nice try, guys.
Hey, what happened to your limp? Actually, l was faking it.
l wanted you to be a team again.
You're okay, little bro.
l see why Chip was all up in your stuff.
Wait a minute.
lt was his fault we lost.
-Hey, yeah.
Let's pound him! -Get him over here.
-Maybe we should-- -Stop? -No, work your kidneys.
-Yeah, get in there! We'll meet you at the car.
Don't be all day.
BloodLogic [ENGLlSH.]
-l'm scared, George.
-There, there, dear.
The sanitation trucks are on their way.
l want our oversized refuse buried in a landfill.
l don't want anyone to actually use it.
l just can't help but wonder what kind of filthy, bottom-feeding vermin would pilfer another man's garbage.
-Happy Dump Day! -Happy Dump Day, sweetheart.
When l lived in the hills, l threw away my trash.
Now that same trash is my bounty.
Funny, isn't it? Does it worry anyone that l can't stop laughing? Mom! Dad! l'm so excited, l've been hopping all night.
You might wanna switch feet there, Milo.
That one's pretty swollen.
No can do, Pop.
Right one's for Christmas.
Left one, Dump Day.
Well, why don't you put that energy to good use -and go get Biff and Chip.
-The sooner we get to the hills the sooner we can get our hands on some fine, large garbage.
Where do you think you're going, ass-breath? Yeah, ass-breath, because his breath smells like ass.
Trespassing requires-- -Punishment.
-You read my mind.
-l always-- -Do.
Can we get this over with? Because it's Dump Day, and l've got a lot on my plate.
-Mega-wedgy! -Mega-wedgy! They'll be right down.
Dear Lord, thank you for this bountiful blessing of rich people's crap.
Now, let's go refurnish the house! Look, Milo, l found a retainer.
lt fits, too.
What, l am not allowed to have a little fun? Give me that! l'll show you how a Hula-Hoop is supposed to be used.
l found a cute new belt.
l cut my bottom on a rusty nail.
When did you have your last tetanus shot? l don't think l've ever ha-- Mommy can't live with that racket.
Honey, say hello to our new gargoyle.
-Why do we need a gargoyle? -lt's supposed to ward off evil spirits.
Lord knows we don't want misfortune to befall our perfect little family.
Hey, Mom, l found a spear gun.
Can we go to SeaWorld? Milo, be careful.
That thing is loaded.
Guess Mommy is too.
Hi there.
We were hoping some cute boys would come along and take us for an expensive meal we could just pick at.
-They're totally flirting with us.
-Just ignore them.
We came here to find a Pec Blaster so we can make our nipples dance.
Who cares about our nipples? l'm interested in their nipples.
Chip, life isn't just about partying.
lt's about setting goals and achieving them.
Then showering with the team and snapping each other's butts with towels.
lt doesn't matter anyway.
lt's not like we have any money for a date.
Dude, check it out! lt's a "hundsky" ! -Hey, it's over here.
-No, it's over here.
l don't know what you're looking at.
Hey, Doublemint dorks.
Walk much? Like we'd ever go out with total losers like them.
This was the greatest Dump Day ever.
What did you two boys get? -Humiliated.
-Everybody thinks we're losers.
Let me tell you something, boys.
Real losers are the ones who call you losers.
ln addition, of course, to the aforementioned original losers who in this case would be.
-Why don't you give me a hand here.
-Jesus.
Oh, come on, you pouty Petes.
Help me rip the newspaper off this gargoyle.
l can't afford another paper cut on my soft palate.
Hey, what's this? "Feel like a loser? Before you try suicide, triathlon.
The Hill Valley Two-Man Triathlon.
" We gotta do this.
Yeah, yeah, l know.
Goals, achievement, towels.
"Test your manhood against last year's winners Jared Klimer and his obnoxious friend Blaine.
" Those buttbags? Count me in! -We gotta start training now.
-But l wanna go lie in the bathroom -and eat Hot Pockets.
-Chip.
All right, all right.
Let's do it.
-l'm down.
-What are you doing? Because l'm doing-- -You wanna go for a run? -Running's good.
Ready, set fire! That's an owie! My turn.
You can break my spine, but not my spirit.
-My turn.
-No way.
l didn't go yet.
There's a little law called gravity that might have something to say about that.
Oh, crap.
That's Biff and Chip's room.
-l can't go in there.
-They're out sprinting.
l saw them all sweaty in their spandex.
"Ran laps behind coach at practice.
l hope someday to have his perfect buttocks.
" "Came in early today.
Coach was alone in the Jacuzzi--" Boring.
Looks like someone just ordered a knuckle sandwich.
With a side of noogies.
-Let's do stuff to him.
-Yeah, stuff.
This should do the trick.
-You okay? -Yeah.
-Me too.
-Oh, my God! Dad, Milo's glued to our back! What do we do? Actually, l need your advice.
Should l go towards the bright light or away from it? Well, unfortunately, the glue went through to your skin.
And it says here it's permanent.
Are you saying l'll be joined to another person for the rest of my life? -We'll be freaks! -Now, we just have to look at the positives.
First of all, there is safety in numbers.
Well, l'm tapped.
Wait, l've got it.
No, it was just a salami burp.
l've drawn up a five-year plan complete with grids, pie charts and cartoons where applicable.
Follow this and your lives should continue pretty much as usual only a third less fulfilling.
According to this decision tree you guys have to do what l want till 0600 tomorrow.
But we have to train for the triathlon.
Biff, will you stop setting goals? l got a hyperactive elf breathing halitosis in my ear.
You're one to talk, Mr.
Zit-Neck.
Milo, stop talking about how ugly Chip is.
And, Chip, leave Milo's rancid breath out of this.
l won't have these insults in my house.
Besides, a true competitor can overcome any adversity.
-Just look at Lou Gehrig.
-He died.
l know, but just look at him.
-l see what you mean.
-l have to go to the bathroom.
ln that case, l'm going into a trance.
Mommy, what's a trance? Something your brothers do to give each other privacy.
l really have to go! Number one or number two? -A little of both.
-Good night, folks.
This pressure's not helping.
Okay, the first order of business is to pick a new name for our club on account of some of us can't pronounce the word Algonquin.
l propose we call ourselves the Knights of Backyardia.
l have a better one.
How about the Lame-Ass Stupid Baby Club? -Yeah, l second it.
-Yeah.
l third it.
Hey, did you guys know there's a ginormous tree toad in here? l love you.
l Frenched Milo! Good night, my little shmuzzle-wuzzle pookie-wookie.
Pickles, do you think it queer that there's smoke rising from under her covers? Now, Bob, according to Dr.
Spock if you worry about every little thing we could give her a complex.
lt's a lot of smoke.
We're all joined in a clump.
Where do they get this stuff? Precious.
Boys, you're not near ready for this triathlon.
Your time in the dash is up from 1 0.
8 seconds to 1 :1 2.
And apparently you've gained 65 pounds.
Look who's talking, thunder thighs.
Now, that's just cruel.
l have struggled with my weight problem for years.
Don't you ever talk to coach like that.
Hey! Behold the ugliest of all sea creatures: The octo-dork.
So this chump clump is our competition for the two-man triathlon? We are gonna smoke you like a spiral-cut ham.
Jared, Biff says you're a wuss-cake.
Oh, he does, huh? Wait, it was Chip who said it.
All right, just a couple thousand squat thrusts and we can call it a night.
Squat all you want, l have a date.
l'm taking Courtney to the movies.
-You wanna beat Blaine and Jared or not? -Of course l do.
But according to Dad's pie chart, l'll be reaching my sexual peak at 9 tonight.
l'd like to be near a female other than Mom.
Hey, l love Mom.
l vote movie.
Anything without Steve Buscemi.
Sorry, dude.
Two to one.
l don't believe this.
l am so trancing out.
lf l were you, l would take this opportunity to vigorously scrub his armpits.
Any chance your other brother can go into a trance too? l doubled my Ritalin just to get this calm.
Try to ignore him.
Hey, why are you squeezing my booby? -Are you trying to feel me up? -No, l was feeling Milo up.
There are so many things wrong with that.
No, you don't get it.
l was trying to score with you.
That's it.
l'm out of here.
Thanks, dillweed.
l really liked her.
Courtney, my brother's just nervous because he likes you so much.
He says you have a beautiful soul.
That changes everything.
l think l'm in love.
And it's all thanks to you, little bro.
No problem, big bro.
Should we wake up sleeping bro? We never get to hang out, just the two of us.
Hey, that reminds me of a song.
-How long was l out? -l don't know.
Who cares? Hey, where'd you get those mugs? We made them at Next of Kiln.
But we were supposed to make bro mugs.
Wow, l sure didn't miss your whining.
You know, you could learn a lot from Milo.
He knows how to cut loose.
Thanks, Chip.
Hey, you wanna go to the convenience store and buy some sucking candy? You are Dr.
Funstein.
-l'm fun.
-Come on, Milo, let's ditch him.
Pickles, where are my ankle weights? Gargoyle! Gargoyle! Get it off! Get it off! Oh, that is so cute.
l love to see you two playing.
l wanna get my camera.
Honey, what were you doing on Daddy's back? l wanna be stuck to you.
"l want, l want, l want.
" When l was your age, l hopped 50 miles to school through the driving snow, always looking over my shoulder for the snow monkeys.
l think l have a concussion.
Swimming is Blaine and Jared's strongest event so we gotta practice really, really hard.
Chip, you're not shaved or oiled.
And those trunks aren't aquadynamic.
l talked him out of it.
Speedos are just a pathetic cry for attention.
-Shut up.
-Hey, don't talk to my brother like that Dingus Khan.
Dingus Khan? You know, sometimes words hurt more than a tightly balled fist.
l'm gonna swim it off.
Sludge fight! Eat sewage, dude! Come on.
Quit fooling around.
Remember what coach says? "Pride, sacrifice, desire.
" -l desire you to shut up.
-Why are you talking like this? -We used to be a team.
-You have a fish on your face.
Ever since Milo got stuck to us, l don't even know you.
Hey, at least Milo knows how to have fun.
l wouldn't mind if he was stuck to me for the rest of my life.
Hey, guys, look at me! l'm a bilge pump! Milo, you came off.
Oh, yeah.
Must be all the toxins in the swamp.
l think l swallowed a rabbit.
l'm going home.
Thank God things can finally get back to normal.
Come on, let's start training.
Sludge fight! You almost got that in my mouth.
l could get a canker sore.
Sorry.
For a minute, l thought you were the fun brother.
Hey, l can be fun.
ln fact, l'm going to train 24/7/365 until l'm the undisputed champion of gaiety.
Great.
Now l'm gonna get head hives.
Well, that was one of the worst adhesive-related crises this family's ever faced.
But we came through with flying colors.
-Hey, Milo, could you pass the--? -Salt.
You read my mind.
-Hey, Biff, could l have the--? -Strawberry jam.
You know he's allergic to strawberries.
Why don't you just put a bullet in his head? -Come on, Chip, we gotta hit the track.
-Yeah, yeah.
Later, little dude.
See you, bro.
Milo, now that Biff and Chip are gone, we can be a clump.
Okay, one, l don't understand what you're saying.
Two, you have syrup on your butt.
l hope.
Bob, l'm getting worried about Beth.
What if that thing on her head is taking over her personality? Oh, my God! Chip's in trouble! What the--? Dude, you saved my life.
You're the best brother ever.
Hang on a second.
What the hell are you doing? We finally get that polyp scraped off and you wanna carry him in a Snugli? When are you gonna accept that our relationship is a reality -and move on with your life? -lt's sad, is what it is.
l've had it.
We got a big race tomorrow.
Our dignity's on the line.
Either he goes or l go.
Fine.
l'll run the race with Milo.
What? But you guys are a team.
Not anymore, we're not.
l'm out of here.
Oh, yeah.
So you're saying Beth has been trying to attach herself -to other members of the family? -That's right.
Have there been changes in your household? Well, l did rust-proof the gutters.
Why don't you tell me what's going on.
Slowie says all the boys were stuck together and she felt left out.
We're not talking about the doll.
We're talking about you.
But Slowie said she's talking for Beth.
Well, l've had enough of this foolishness.
Doctor, l see what the problem is now.
My baby just needs some attention.
Excuse me.
l think l know a little more about psychology than you do.
Biff, this is your last chance.
Don't you wanna be Chip's partner? No.
You guys are partners now.
Wake me when it's over.
Hey, Chipper, looks like you've got some dead weight there.
l'm used to carrying Biff around.
l was referring to the one-eyed, one-haired wonder.
Everyone says you two have sex with each other.
Ladies and gentlemen, the mayor.
Welcome to the annual two-man triathlon.
lt always gets me pumped to see great athletes competing.
Unfortunately, l don't see any great athletes.
Just a bunch of candy-ass nancy boys who couldn't go round one with the likes of Johnny "The Mayor" Bledsoe! But l guess weaklings have dreams too.
So let the games begin.
Yeah! You did it, Milo! We won the first event.
That's it.
Keep your weight over the seat.
Pedal.
Pedal! You're doing it.
You're doing it.
Guess we should have worked on that ahead of time.
-You okay, kid? -The right side of my body feels fine -but the left side is completely numb.
-Welcome to my world.
You're gonna have to finish without me.
But where am l gonna find a partner this late in the race? What? ls it over? For me it is.
l'm injured.
But Chip needs a partner.
Yeah, a goof-off like that needs all the help he can get.
Hey, he may be a goof-off with a Dorothy Hamill haircut but he has more heart than you ever will.
Rah, rah, Biff.
"Pride, sacrifice, desire.
" You're a first-string dork.
You got the "first-string" part right.
Sure, he may be an annoying, anal attaboy, but when he puts his mind to something -he rocks.
-Rock on, Chip.
-So you'll be my--? -Partner? Definitely.
Ladies and gentlemen, there has been a slight change in our final event.
Because l am bored stiff the 26-mile marathon has been replaced by a 1 00-yard three-legged race.
Come on, move it, pussies! Whoever wins this wins it all.
Let's kick their hill butts.
l'm sorry, man.
l should have trained harder.
Hey, winning isn't everything.
At least we had fun.
Nice try, guys.
Hey, what happened to your limp? Actually, l was faking it.
l wanted you to be a team again.
You're okay, little bro.
l see why Chip was all up in your stuff.
Wait a minute.
lt was his fault we lost.
-Hey, yeah.
Let's pound him! -Get him over here.
-Maybe we should-- -Stop? -No, work your kidneys.
-Yeah, get in there! We'll meet you at the car.
Don't be all day.
BloodLogic [ENGLlSH.]