The Orchestra (2022) s01e06 Episode Script

1
Congratulations, Bo.
You scared her off to Romania.
She's from Ukraine.
You'd know if you had
a genuine interest in her life.
She was scared off by your sleazy,
womanizing demeanour.
- We can't ask her. She's not here.
- No, she's not.
Are you talking about Anastacia?
She was homesick. That's why she left.
I'm gonna squash this right now.
When you musicians argue,
which you've done a lot lately -
you bring it out on stage,
and you know what?
You can tell.
Shut up.
Show a little respect.
No one stole your lunch, Irene.
But if it's gone, it was Bo.
Did you steal my lunch?
- I didn't steal your nasty lunch.
- It wasn't nasty.
- It was a broccoli salad.
- A broccoli salad? Then it wasn't Bo.
That's enough.
That's a thick-headed stereotype.
Fat people eat plenty of greens.
Is that a photo for your spank bank?
THE ORCHESTRA
Yo. This is Cousin Nosebleed's channel.
Are you ready for some shock therapy?
Shock therapy!
Did I scare you?
- Yeah.
- What's your name?
- Freja.
- I'm Nosebleed.
- Hi.
- Do you want some candy?
Take care, Freja.
Shock therapy!
What are you watching, honey?
What are you watching?
What?
- What are you watching?
- Cousin Nosebleed.
Cousin Nosebleed.
He's a funny guy.
- What's she watching?
- Cousin Nosebleed.
- Dear God.
- He's gonna host our Halloween concert.
The Hall will stop at nothing -
to get the new generation
interested in classical music.
Jeppe.
Oh yeah.
It's just the orchestra.
They'd rather argue than work together,
and then it all just goes to shit.
What goes to shit?
The orchestra.
They can't work together.
They'd rather bicker and argue.
Boy Joy hold hands before every concert.
- Boy Joy?
- Yeah.
That sounds like a website
you should avoid.
It's a boy band.
Let's get some foie gras
and watch a French film tonight.
I have to work tonight.
- I have to teach a lesson.
- Who are you teaching?
A student.
Whoops.
Don't say whoops
when you're cutting my hair.
What's with the vanity?
Who are you trying to impress?
Nobody.
I just want a haircut.
- Hi, Jeppe.
- We have visitors.
Cousin Nosebleed, this is Jeppe.
Cousin Nosebleed's name is Lasse.
Jeppe Nygren.
Nice to meet you.
My daughter's a huge fan of yours.
It's always nice to meet a fan.
Yeah.
It's my daughter who's a fan of yours.
So you're not a fan?
You got me there.
That's not what I meant.
It's great to be here.
Listen.
Some people have one idea. Not me.
I consider myself
the conductor of a train of ideas.
Idea, idea, idea!
Get on board the train. When Lasse gets
moving, you've gotta be ready to go.
I'm on board.
"Hello.
I have a ticket for the train of ideas."
We're gonna open
with Michael Jackson's "Thriller".
It's dark. The room's full of kids.
"Darkness falls across the land."
"The midnight hour's close at hand."
And then we slowly turn on the lights.
Can I We're just brainstorming here.
The ideas are flying around.
I love Michael Jackson.
I own both "Bad" and "Thriller".
I'm just afraid
the parents will feel a little awkward -
when they hear that paedophile.
I think you have to distinguish
the man from the music.
Otherwise, you couldn't play any music
in this building. Am I right?
But you have to be aware of it.
Everyone in the orchestra
will wear glowing skeleton suits.
Michael Jackson's "Thriller"
and 100 glowing skeletons
playing creepy music.
- Awesome.
- No, no, no.
One of the musicians
will dress up like a zombie
and sit in the audience.
Suddenly, the person
just explodes in a crazy solo!
Who's Sonny?
What did you say?
- Who's gonna dress up like Sonny?
- A zombie.
Oh, a zombie!
That's what we're gonna do, right?
Michael Jackson. That's classical music!
And we're done.
I couldn't help noticing -
that the atmosphere
among the musicians in the orchestra
I hope I'm not offending anyone,
but it's not always friendly.
I intend to change that today.
I've put up a bulletin board
where you can explain
why you love going to work.
You can write
a positive thing about going to work.
I've come up with an exercise
that I call the solidarity handshake.
For this exercise, you're gonna hold
the hand of the person next to you -
so you'll form
a big solidarity circle if you will.
And
Let's give it a try.
Stand up and
We have a lot of work to do, Jeppe.
We stamp and tap our bows
on the stand to show praise.
It's worked for 300 years.
Okay.
I just haven't heard it before.
Maybe we haven't had
a reason to praise you.
You know what? Let's ditch
the solidarity circle for now.
I'd like to introduce you
to a very special guest.
Our guest host
for the Halloween concert.
Please give him a warm welcome.
Cousin Nosebleed.
Thank you.
You might not know who I am.
My name's Lasse, but if I do this
Shock therapy!
Your kids know who I am.
We have to dust you off for the concert.
A group of kids can be a tough crowd.
- Why are you looking in the fridge?
- It's become an obsession for you.
You always lose your lunch.
What are you wearing?
- I want to see you.
- I miss you too.
No. Not now.
You can't get it out of your mind.
I need your presentation
by 4 p.m. tomorrow.
Thank you.
Bye.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Who was that?
- The accounting department.
- We have a big meeting tomorrow.
- Isn't that the accounting department?
Yes. Sometimes it's just easier
to talk over the phone.
Then you avoid all the chitchat.
I was thinking
The Halloween concert on Thursday.
- Yeah.
- Do you want to go?
- I'd rather not.
- That's what I thought. I know you.
Could you drop Alma off in the foyer?
- I'll be pretty busy that day.
- That's a deal.
- Bye.
- Bye, bye.
Alright, chief.
That's enough.
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
I'm gonna stop you right there.
What's the opposite
of 200-year-old music?
Kids.
Are kids more into farts
or Beethoven's ninth?
Who's instrument
sounds most like a fart?
Come on.
Kids love farts.
You.
Come on.
Okay. Let's hear it.
Come on.
Awesome.
That's great.
That's a fart I can work with.
Do that whenever there's a break.
You have to do it in one breath.
Write that down.
- I will.
- That's all I have. It sounds good.
I'm looking forward to
the Halloween concert. It'll be great.
The host
Yeah. He's great.
I don't know what to say.
I think he's mentally ill.
- Okay.
- We can get together after the concert.
And talk about how horrible it was.
Alright.
You can start by playing rubato.
I have dinner for you.
What?
Salade de chevre chaud.
French goat cheese.
We're working here.
I know,
but an army marches on its stomach.
And who might you be?
I'm Elin. Bo's student.
- I think we're done for the day.
- Right.
I'll see you tomorrow
I mean for our next lesson.
Pack up your stuff in the hallway.
Alright? Great.
Bye.
What were you thinking?
You can't come barging in like that.
I just brought you some food.
And I wanted to check
that you were actually teaching.
I'm at the academy, mom.
What else would I be doing here?
You should avoid distractions.
I'm just looking out for you, honey.
They're not to be trusted, Bo.
I'm telling you. They're not.
A young girl like her seduced
your father and twisted his mind.
- A medical student like myself.
- You're a medical secretary, mom.
Maybe Elin wants to be first clarinet.
Did you ever think of that?
This is not fucking chevre chaud.
It's buffalo mozzarella.
THIS IS WHY I LIKE MY JOB:
What the
We're playing "Thriller"
because I say so.
Any other complaints?
Huh?
No. Okay.
I'm a bit concerned
about those skeleton suits.
Listen. You're gonna wear them
because they're super scary.
The kids are gonna love it.
We're professional musicians.
This is ridiculous.
You just have to trust me.
I have 100,000 subscribers on YouTube.
Most of them are kids.
I'm an expert.
The suit doesn't match my physique.
Nothing matches your physique!
Alright, alright.
I think the party's over.
Here comes the spreadsheet. What's up?
You know what?
We asked you to come.
Am I right?
The musicians are the stars of the show.
And you're frankly just an extra.
We don't want farts or Michael Jackson.
If you can't accept that,
I'll have to ask you
to take your payment -
and walk out the door over there.
Over there I mean.
So
Thank you.
Thank you.
But we can't get rid
of the skeleton suits. I'm sorry.
For the love of
When this world began
It was Heaven's plan
There should be a girl
For every single man.
To my great regret
Someone has upset
Heaven's pretty program
For we've
Never met
Hi.
I wonder who
I wonder who she could be.
Somebody loves me
I wish I knew
Whom she can be
Worries me.
For every girl who passes me, I shout:
"Hey, maybe."
Maybe it's you
At some point, you have to choose.
Do you want to be a professional tennis
player or a professional musician?
That's the thing.
And the career is so short.
What are you gonna do when you're done?
But
Holy shit!
"What's going on here?"
"What's going on?"
I know it was him.
He wants my spot.
What in the world happened here?
Let me through please.
What happened?
It was Bo.
That damn coward.
He fucking broke my mouth.
He hates me.
He wants me dead, so he can get my spot.
I don't know how you can be
silent witnesses
to Bo's violence and bullying.
You yellow-bellied,
knuckleheaded loser.
You can't get my spot "by honest ways",
so you attack a declared pacifist.
Let me tell you something.
It's called "by honest means"!
You've lived here for 20 years, Simon!
I didn't hit you.
- You're a giant dickhead!
- Stop it! What's going in here?
- Simon's a dickhead.
- Bo hit me.
For fuck's sake.
Can you still play?
- No, I can't play! He broke my mouth!
- You've never been able to play.
Bo, you're first clarinet.
Congratulations.
You got what you wanted.
Right.
Come on!
We're starting in half an hour.
Thank you so fucking much.
- What are you talking about?
- Okay.
You took one for the team.
And for the music.
Thank you.
- Hi, dad.
- Hi, baby.
It's so good to see you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Enjoy the concert.
- What are your plans?
I'm gonna
I'm just gonna stay in tonight.
Have fun.
Enjoy yourselves.
- Bye.
- Come on, honey.
- Are you enjoying it?
- I want one of those skeleton suits.
I think we can get you one.
What's up, Bo?
Congratulations.
You've never played so harmoniously.
Having a common enemy
can really unite people.
- I should bring him in more often.
- Don't even joke about that.
- There's someone I want to avoid.
- Alright. See you.
Take care, kids.
Catch you on the flip side. Bye.
Look, dad.
Wow. Was that drawn by a grown man?
Where do you work, dad?
On the third floor.
Do you want to see where I work?
Hi, Bo.
Hi, Elin.
Thank you
for an absolutely magnificent concert.
You were nothing short of marvellous.
You're welcome.
The skeleton suits were distracting.
They weren't exactly pretty.
I don't know.
I thought it looked good on you.
Right.
I'm sorry.
This is Anton. My brother.
- This is Bo.
- Hello.
- Hi. Anton.
- Bo Høxenhaven.
Nice to meet you.
Your brother. That's nice.
Elin says you're the greatest
clarinettist in the country.
She's very honoured
to have you as a teacher.
I'm glad to have her as a student.
She's very talented.
What do you like best?
To be at work or to be at home?
If you're home,
I'd rather wanna be at home.
What if I'm not home,
and you're all alone?
Then I'd rather be at work.
My desk is right over here.
I have a bunch of photos of you.
- I'm gonna show you rough!
- That feels so good.
Isn't that rough enough for you?!
We were settling the finances.
Okay.
On my desk.
- That's your desk?
- Come on.
- Let's get out of here.
- Happy Halloween.
- Happy Halloween.
- Yeah Halloween.
I'm not gonna watch
Cousin Nosebleed anymore.
No. I understand.
- He's disgusting.
- Yeah.
Sometimes,
grownups do stuff
no one would ever want to see.
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