The Patrick Star Show (2021) s01e06 Episode Script

1
- Hi, I'm Patrick Star,
and I live with my parents.
Ow!
This is my dad.
This is my mom.
[laughs]
This is my sister.
She's shy.
This is my grandpa.
This is my room.
And this
this is my show!
- Family vacation,
family vacation ♪
Family vacation ♪
Ooh!
Family vacation ♪
Family vacation,
family vacation ♪
Family vacation ♪
[grunting]
Family vacation ♪
Oy! Ah.
[chuckles]
Attention, Stars,
your annual family vacation
will be leaving the driveway
on schedule in 58 seconds.
All aboard.
- Vacation!
I'm riding in the front.
- No, I called it.
- I did.
[laughter]
- [barking]
[oven timer dings]
- Oh, I hope I didn't forget
to leave the oven on.
- [snarling]
- All right, let's get this
quality time over with.
- All right, family,
here we go.
Hee-hee-hee.
[tires squealing]
- You kids are gonna love
this new vacation resort.
It looks so fun.
- Yeah, we saw it on the TV.
- [snoring]
- [grunting]
Don't you wish you were here?
Then take a trip,
you silly, to Frigate Frolic,
Bikini Bottom's fab
family fun park, and resort.
You can ride the waves
or blast off at Beluga Blast,
shoot some pool,
or jump in one.
Whether you're hungry for
the buffet at the Taj Marlin
or you just want to sunbathe,
we got you covered. Ow!
So meet me at the amazing
Frigate Folic.
I'll be waitin'.
- Brought to you by the gas
you won't want to pass.
Gas Land.
- Ooh, look.
Oh, there it is,
our vacation destination,
Gas Land.
[all gasping]
- Wow, this resort looks
even better in person.
All right, everyone,
let's take a vote
on what we do first.
- Yeah, that's great, Dad.
I'll take it from here.
Listen up, people.
Before we start the fun,
GrandPat, unpack the trunk.
Patrick,
take Tinkle to the restroom.
Squidina, get us some snacks.
Mom, Dad,
stay where I can see you.
Big new places can be scary.
We rally back here in five.
[whistle blows]
- Oh, I'm a sucker
for these carnival games.
Ahh.
- [gurgling]
- Ohh.
- Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh!
Oh!
- [laughs]
Ahh.
- [humming]
- Please, kind sir,
would you help me
open my trunk?
I've got feeble fingers.
- Why certainly.
Helping customers
is our policy.
Ahh!
- [laughs]
- Be a good Tinkle and
visit with your toilet friends.
Good boy.
- [panting]
[sniffing]
[barks]
[panting]
- Chicken it, Sis,
a sea poodle.
[laughs]
Ahh!
Oh-oh-oh-oh!
Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ooh!
Ahh!
- Huh?
- Ooh.
Ahh.
- Huh?
- Ooh.
[gulps]
- [sobbing]
- Huh?
I'll make us a family sized
vacation feast.
[chuckles]
[grunts]
[chuckles]
[grunting]
[microwave beeping]
- And then he ate it.
There he is.
- Excuse me, sir,
you can't come in here
ruining customer's ice cream
cones.
That's our policy.
- Huh?
What?
Sis, get a picture of me
with the Gas Land mascot.
- All right, Stars, photo op.
Say cheese poofs.
[together]
Cheese poofs.
- Time for water rides!
- Yay!
- Good riddance;
that's our policy.
Whoa! Ah!
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh!
[all chattering]
- Whee!
- Ooh-ooh-ooh.
- Here we go.
♪
[laughter]
- Whee.
[laughter]
[elegant orchestral music]
♪
both: Huh?
[laughter]
- Huh?
What? My boat wash.
[laughter]
- [panting]
This is not a bath house;
it's a boat wash.
That's our policy.
Are you listening to me?
Ohh.
Ahh!
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Time for mini golf.
Let's hit the links.
- Your father and I are going
to go relax in the spa
while you play with GrandPat.
both: Oh!
[gurgling]
- Essential oil.
- So good.
- All right, rookies,
would you like me to show you
a professional golf swing?
both: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Then watch and learn.
[grunting]
- [slurps]
- Remember keep swinging until
your ball goes in a hole.
[all grunting]
[all screaming]
- Oh, that was delightful.
- Uhgah!
A hole in one!
all: Yay! Whoo-hoo!
- Oh.
- Ohh.
- Huh?
[whistle blows]
Time for snorkeling.
Let's go!
[tires squealing]
- Yeah!
[laughter]
[laughter]
- Hmm?
- Huh?
[laughter]
- Be right back.
[laughs]
[microwave rattling]
Just a few more items
for our feast.
[grunting]
That'll cook it faster.
[laughs]
I'm back.
[laughter]
[tires screeching]
- You win again, bladder.
Public restroom it is.
[groans]
- [barking]
- Huh?
- [teeth chattering]
Help me.
- [gasp]
A feral toilet.
- Wow, I didn't know they have
a petting zoo.
[animals barking]
- Hey, you kids.
- What are you doing
with our pet, Tinkle?
- This toilet has no license,
and I'm taking it to the pound.
Now get your unauthorized hand
off my authorized door.
- Oooh.
- Huh?
[groans]
Ohh, not the swirly.
[watch beeps]
- Time for mountain climbing!
- Yes!
- Come on.
[together] Yippee. Oh boy.
- [groans]
[animals barking]
[gasps]
What's happening?
- [growls]
- They did it.
[all yodeling]
- What a beautiful
vacation sunset.
[all sighing]
[animals growling]
- [grunting]
[growling]
- Hey, Mr. Mascot, come
to enjoy the sunset with us?
- I want you troublemakers
out of my station immediately
or I will squeegee
your faces off.
That's our policy.
[cackles]
[together]
Uh
Yay!
- Do my eyes next.
[laughter]
[whirring]
[beeping]
- [gasp]
Dinner's ready!
- Ahh!
This isn't our policy!
[together]
Whoa, oof!
- Ahh!
- What?
all: Yay!
[watch beeps]
[whistle blows]
- Vacation is over.
Time to go.
[all grunting]
- [panting]
- Oh!
- [groaning]
- Excuse me, kind sir,
but can't you help me repack
my trunk?
I--
- Gah!
[grunting]
- Thanks for a great vacation,
Gas Land.
See you next summer.
Huh?
Oh.
[chuckles]
We ran out of gas.
All right, everyone,
let's get out and push.
[together]
Yay.
- Get me out of here.
[all grunting]
- Family vacation,
family vacation ♪
[all grunting]
[conch horn blowing]
- Star family assemble!
- Whee!
D'oh!
[moans]
[panting]
- Ugh!
- Oh!
Ugh!
[chuckles]
[cheering, cameras clicking]
- Agh!
[grunting]
[humming]
- As you know,
tonight is family movie night!
[all cheer]
- But first, we all have to do
our weekly household chores.
- Wait, what?
- Do we have to?
- Ah-ah.
No back sass now.
Chores are something we do
for fun!
Cecil,
you've got the grass cutting.
Grandpat, put away that radio.
Squidina on floors.
- Ah!
- And, Patrick, garbage duty.
- Oh-hey!
- And I'm gonna vacuum!
[gasps]
Just think,
the dust-free bric-a-brac
[vacuum whirring]
- [grunts, groans]
- And the spotless,
speckless spots.
[vacuum whirring]
- Mm!
- [gasps]
- Eh--hm.
- Nature may abhor a vacuum,
but I love it!
- [muttering]
- [laughing]
Ah, it's great to see
real Kentucky bluegrass
after all that artificial turf
I've been cutting.
How's that fertilizer
treatin' you?
Ha!
[chuckles]
Eh?
Your chlorophyll's
looking great!
Next!
- Hm!
[straining]
Ah-ooh.
Mm, that should've hurt!
[grunts]
Ah!
Oh.
Whoa!
Oh, ugh!
A job well done.
Heh!
[engine revving]
[furniture crashing,
shattering]
[Zamboni beeping]
- That floor's clean!
- Huh, so much garbage
in mom and dad's room.
[humming]
Uh!
[straining]
[sighs]
Doo-do-do-do-doo-do ♪
- [humming]
[foot giggling]
Uh!
Ooh!
Patrick's time closet.
Hmm, hm.
I finished cleaning
a little early.
I could use a break.
Maybe a little adventure
before movie night.
Should I?
Oh, why not?
[laughing]
Paris in the 1800s,
been there.
Now this place looks
positively barbaric!
Adventure and
a little cleaning up?
Here I come.
Ooh.
Ooh!
[birds screeching]
[animals growling]
[lizard squawks]
Ooh, I like this dry heat.
[shuddering]
[birds screeching]
Ooh!
That's an attractive attraction
that I'm attracted to.
Ooh-di-doo, duh-do-do-doo ♪
Ahem.
- Huh?
- How much does it cost
to get in?
- It could cost you your life.
What manner of armor
are you wearing?
- Oh, this old thing?
It's just something
I threw together.
- [whistles]
- Hoo!
Ooh!
[lizard roaring]
Oh, ow!
Oh, ow!
- Ooh, this armor is so soft
and breathable!
I feel so light!
- And it's 100%
machine-washable.
- [giggling]
- Aren't you going in?
- I was gonna
steal the bejeweled treasure
from the Dust Demon inside,
but now I just wanna dance
and dance and dance!
- Bejeweled treasure?
[gasps]
Adventure!
- Next!
Who or what are you to think
you can enter this realm?
- Hm?
Animal or mineral?
- Wrong.
- Ah!
- Who or what are you to think
you can enter this realm?
- My name is Bunny Star,
and I'm from Bikini Bottom.
I work as a greeter
at a local prison,
but if I was to say
what I am most proudest of,
that would be being a mother.
- A mother?
[whimpering]
[sniffles]
I never had a mother.
I was conjured from
sea cow pies by an evil spirit.
May I call you "mum"?
- Aww.
Mwah!
- Beware of
the Dust Demon's spawn, mother.
[crickets chirping]
- Oh,
let's get the show started!
- Oh, no you don't!
This is not family movie night
until the whole family is here!
- Oh, come on!
- Patrick!
- I ain't movin'
till mom gets here.
- [sighs]
- [growls]
- Uh!
[growls]
- [gulps]
- Doo-doo,
doo-di-do-do ♪
- [growls]
- Ooh!
- [roars]
- Aww, you must be one
of the Dust Demon's children.
- Grr
[sniffles]
- Oh, you've got a runny nose.
Well, we can't have that.
It's messy.
[vacuum whirring]
- Ooh!
- There.
Isn't that better?
- Mm-hmm.
- Now get out of here!
Have fun doing your carnage!
[humming]
La-la-lah,
doo-do-doo-do-doo ♪
Ooh!
[vacuum whirring]
Whoop, whoop, and whoop.
Bip, bop, boop-di-boop!
[coughing]
Doesn't anyone dust
around here?
[gasps]
Oh!
[giggles]
[straining]
Ah.
[gasps]
So shiny.
Hmm.
[electricity zapping]
Oh!
Ooh.
- So that's what that's for.
- Yes.
It's an attachment
that allows you vacuum into
crevices between couch cushions
and make 'em clean!
[gasps]
Wait a minute.
You're Dust Demon!
- Hm, how do you know
so much about cleaning?
Wait a minute.
You're a clean freak.
[chuckles]
I know how to deal with
an obsessive cleaning disorder.
- Oh!
- [blubbering]
[laughing, yelling]
- Shag carpet.
[gasps]
Heaven!
- Give it back!
Or else.
- Or else what?
- [chuckles]
- [gasps]
- [grumbling]
Hm?
- Oh, no you don't, mister.
Hmmuh!
- [whimpering, gasping]
- And I stepped in poo-poo.
[laughing]
- Real good thing my vacuum
is also a power scrubber.
Hyah!
Get a load of this.
[humming]
Ta-da!
- Neatnik!
[blubbering]
[groaning, growling]
- Ohhuh!
An iron maiden?
No way.
I use those to relax.
- Mm-hmm.
Ha.
Give it back or else.
[glugging]
- Hey, mister, use a glass.
[vacuum whirring]
- Uh!
Huh?
- There.
Now drink it down.
- [glugging]
Heh.
Ooh, a milk mustache.
- [gasps]
- How ever shall I wipe it off?
- [gasps]
You wouldn't dare.
- Dare.
[humming]
Hah!
So much for your tidy powers.
- Look, I'm a reasonable woman.
I don't wanna hurt anybody.
So if you would
just step aside.
- No, you step aside.
Mm.
- [gasps]
Was that back sass?
By Neptune's broom
charge me!
[thunder booming,
electricity zaps]
- Huh?
- [grunts]
- Mm.
Yee!
[laughing]
Can't get me.
- [humming]
- No, no, no!
[vacuum whirring]
Ahh!
both: Hey!
Where's our dad?
- [chuckles]
[both grunt]
- Just shake him out.
He'll be fine.
- Ah.
- [grunts]
Thank you for the adventure!
Onward to movie night!
[dragon screeching]
[door shuts]
Ooh!
What are you guys watchin'?
Dah!
- Some cheesy barbarian movie.
- I told them to wait for you.
- [gasps]
- Ow, ow, ow!
Ah!
- Oh, I missed a spot.
I'll be right back.
- Huh?
- [panting]
[humming]
- This again?
Let's not wait for Mom.
- [squeals]
- Change it to something funny.
- And now back to "The Sir
Urchin and Snail Fail Show"!
- Why, you!
- What'd I do?
[laughter]