The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder (2022) s01e06 Episode Script
Get In
DISPATCHER:
Copy that. Disturbance on the third floor.
MAN: Damn man,
the rodents are getting worse.
Penny, I'm worried and scared.
It's getting kinda late.
If we're here any longer,
we're gonna have to eat dinner here.
Not gonna happen, dear.
Dijonay took all the leftovers.
What? This ain't for me.
This is for my brothers and sisters.
Now, Dijonay, that's supposed to be
for those less fortunate than us.
I got ten brothers and sisters.
You do the math.
ZOEY: Why do such creepy people
come out at night?
I'm not scared. My KG will protect me.
MICHAEL: Oh, snap, Dijonay.
You just got droned!
(LAUGHS)
-Proud, where are your parents?
-Don't worry.
-They're on their way.
-(CAR APPROACHING)
-(MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
-Uncle Bobby?
Penny, what y'all doin' here, little girl?
Volunteering to feed the hungry.
Why are you here?
Because I'm hungry.
(SINGING) Hungry
Uh, Uncle Bobby, do you think
you can give us a ride home?
I called Mama and Daddy,
but they aren't answering.
Sure, after I get my tacos.
(SINGING) Uncle Bobby loves taco Tuesdays
Too late. They all gone.
No, they're not.
But they are now.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Zang! You greedy, Uncle Bobby!
(CAR APPROACHING)
(SINGING) The Proud Family What?
You and me will always be tight
Family every day and every night
Even when you start acting like a fool
You know that I'm lovin'
every single thing you do
I know I can always be myself
When I'm with you
more than anybody else
Every single day
that I'm headed off to school
You know there's no one
I love as much as you
-The family
-The family
Proud family
They'll make you scream
They'll make you wanna sing
It's a family thing, a family
A proud, proud family
Proud family
They'll push your buttons
They'll make you wanna hug 'em
A family, family
Proud, proud family
Proud, proud family
(OSCAR SCREAMS)
Okay, Mr. Chips, put on the disguise.
(GRUMBLES)
Now, put your head in the hole.
(GRUMBLES)
It's either the hole, or "the hole."
-(DEMONIC VOICES SCREAMING)
-(CRUNCHES)
(GRUMBLES)
(CHUCKLES) Hey, there you go!
Now you look
like my Head of Worldwide Production.
This'll throw the stupid animal rights
people off my trail.
Wait till I find who
dropped the dime on me.
(CHUCKLES)
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
Okay, Mr. Chips. Say, "Banana."
-Huh?
-(CHITTERING)
What in the Trudy!
Quiet, boy! Can't hear my stories.
I've got a story for you
and that Cuban caballero Get out!
(PAPI SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
(WHOOPS)
Oscar, keep your voice down.
You're gonna scare the puppies.
Puppies? They look like rats.
(SCREAMS)
(TRUDY LAUGHING)
Mama, where is Daddy?
He was supposed to pick us up
from the food pantry.
I've been calling y'all for the past hour.
Your dad is up on the ceiling
playing Spider-Man.
Except the dummy don't realize
he don't have no Spidey powers.
I don't? (SCREAMS)
If it wasn't for Uncle Bobby,
we would still be standing on the corner.
(SINGING) Ooh, yeah
I'm sorry, baby. My phone was on silent.
Until I pay my bill,
my phone is on silent, too.
Yes, but I told you, Oscar,
that you had to pick them up.
What's the big deal? I told you,
Trudy, you're making these kids soft.
Shoot, my parents never picked
me and Bobby up.
No, we never picked you up.
Thank you, Suga Mommy dearest.
My point is, we were hard.
This generation X-Y-Z is so lazy,
they won't even hitchhike.
-They want everything on a silver platter.
-No.
We just want our parents to do
what they say they're gonna do.
Whoa!
I'm sorry, baby,
but I had an emergency delivery.
And I had an emergency photoshoot.
Show 'em, Mr. Chips.
(CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
(LAUGHS)
Let me guess which one of y'all
is supposed to pick up BeBe and CeCe.
-Oscar!
-Shh. She's about to guess.
You better go get my babies, now!
-(ROARS)
-(SCREAMING)
Hold on. You invented,
I wanna get this right
You invented an all-natural cure
that costs less than $20?
Oh, my gosh.
You know, this show is sponsored
by the largest pharmaceutical company
in the world, right?
You are in the crab barrel.
-(CROWD BOOING)
-(SCREAMS)
They don't play on Crab Barrel,
do they, Papi? (LAUGHS)
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
(SIGHS) Oh, what a day.
I delivered two horses,
a goat, and a giraffe.
I feel like I could eat one.
What's for dinner?
I don't know. What you makin', Oscar?
I'm makin' money, that's what I'm makin'.
(EXCLAIMS)
(ALL LAUGHING)
SUGA MAMA: He's makin' money.
He's makin', makin' money.
OSCAR: I've been makin' money, y'all.
Now, where y'all been?
You forgot us again.
Oh, baby, we are so sorry.
It's okay. Uncle Bobby got us.
(SINGING) Right on time
He didn't do it for free.
I told him you'd give him $20.
$20? For what?
(SINGING) Gas and nacho money
I'm talkin' dollar bill, y'all
Chasing that bag, y'all
I want the scrilla
I want the fetti
I need my nacho money Oh
Well, you're right. It's not your money.
-Now, get out!
-(BOBBY GROANS)
Here, you go, Uncle Bobby,
a large nachos with extra jalapeños.
(IN SING-SONG VOICE) Gas station nachos
My favorite
Anytime you want a ride, Penny
Call your Uncle Bobby
(NORMAL VOICE) Mmm-hmm,
that spicy cheese
(VOCALIZING) Oh, oh, oh, oh
That's it!
What if there were a driving service
to pick up kids after school?
I mean, my dad won't pay,
but I bet all my friends' parents would.
All I need is an app
and someone desperate enough
to drive the kids for next to no money.
(GULPS)
How much did you give 'em for the gas?
Five dollars.
Hey! That's more than five dollars!
-You owe me money!
-Oh! Penny, shut the door.
I got my foot on the floor,
we gotta go. Get in, girl!
That's it, Uncle Bobby.
We'll call it, "Get In!"
Get in!
LACIENEGA:
When did you build this tree house?
When you were ten?
ZOEY: Yeah, time for a remodel, Proud.
-Ugh, or a wrecking ball.
-I don't know what y'all talking about.
This is bigger than me, Basil,
and Paprika's room.
(EXCLAIMING)
(SCREAMS)
Am I the only one that saw that?
Come on, stay focused, Dijonay.
All we have to do is learn code,
make our own app,
come up with a dope marketing plan,
raise some money, and we're in business.
What do you mean "we"?
It's your business.
Wrong as usual, LaCienega.
It's "our business."
And I can't just get involved
with anything.
I have a brand to protect.
Yes, and I need to see a contract.
Business isn't really my thing.
When I was three,
they re-possessed my lemonade stand.
Come on, guys. I know it sounds hard,
but we've gotta do something.
Aren't you sick and tired of waiting
on your parents for rides?
ALL: Yeah.
Aren't you sick and tired of them
forgettin' to pick you up?
ALL: Yeah!
Well, let's show them we are sick
and tired of bein' sick and tired,
and we're not gonna take it anymore!
-ALL: Yeah!
-(PENNY SCREAMS)
(CHUCKLES) Ooh.
Stay focused, Penny.
(GROANING)
WOMAN ON PHONE:
"Get In!" Sounds wonderful.
Just one question
How old are you, dear?
Just turned 14. I'm a Virgo.
Hello? Hello?
Dang. That's the tenth hang up of today.
Make that 11. Mine just hung up, too.
Face it, Penny, no one's gonna sign up
unless we get an adult to make the calls.
Oh, no, don't worry. I got this.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
WOMAN: Ooh, I don't know
what you talkin' about, cat daddy,
but I was gonna say, "Knick knack paddy
whack, give mama what she needs."
Sign me up!
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
Great idea getting Papi.
I told you.
He signed up over a 100 people already.
I'm talkin' about in the back
of a Cadillac jump back jack.
You need to be at least 18
to be a driver for Get In.
So, how old are you, Peabo?
You can't ask that in a interview.
But alas, since we're crossing boundaries,
-I'm old enough to take you on a date.
-Okay, that's it.
Dijonay, I'm goin' on a break.
So, uh, Dijonay
Little boy, bye.
Next!
Sir-Paid-A-Lot?
Why does a rich rapper like you
wanna be a "Get In" driver?
I need a second hustle, you know?
Times is tight. I'm talking Napster,
Migos, IRS, take your pick, dawg.
But I gotta get that bag!
Next!
It's litty, Penny.
I just finished building the app.
I just need $200 more
for the platform fees and we good to go.
Two hundred dollars?
We're not goin' anywhere.
Unless
Okay, Mr. Chips,
let's try again, all right?
-We gotta practice.
-(CHATTERING ANGRILY)
What do you mean, "What?"
I'm trying to save your monkey butt.
Now, when the inspector asks you
your name, you're gonna say
-(YELLS)
-No, no. You say, "No hablo inglés."
(CHATTERING ANGRILY)
No, no, no. I don't sign in Spanish.
Sign in English before I send you back
to that Hungarian circus.
Daddy. Hey.
I wanted to let you know that me and
my friends started a rideshare business
for parents who are too busy
to pick up their kids.
That's cute, baby girl.
But Daddy's too busy to talk right now.
But, Daddy, you're always looking
for a great business opportunity, right?
So, for only $200,
you can get in on the ground floor.
If I had $200, do you think I'd be trying
to teach a monkey how to speak English?
Why are you trying to start
a business? You're too young.
But, Daddy, you've always told me
I can do anything.
Besides, this is a great idea.
So is a snack factory,
and getting married, and having kids!
Don't worry, Penny.
Suga Mama'll give you your $200.
Follow your dreams, baby.
What? You never gave me any money
to follow nothin', more less my dreams.
That's 'cause you didn't have
any dreams, son.
-Only nightmares.
-You're the nightmare!
(ROARING)
(YELLING)
Works every time.
Whoo-hoo!
Download Get In!
The greatest rideshare app ever!
Once you Get In, you don't wanna get out!
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
GIRL: It was so fast.
It was a pop-up place.
Already here.
Get in you guys. It's so cool.
All right. If you little crumb-snatchers
don't sit down and zip it,
you ain't gonna get no
(SINGING) Candy
Oops, I ate it all.
We're gonna get you, you boneless wazzock.
Bum-rush the bum, blokes.
Come back here! My mama gave me that car!
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR SPEAKERS)
Ey, turn that up, Papi!
This song slaps!
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
-NUBIA: Let's go!
-(LAUGHS)
(SINGING ALONG TO SONG)
(DRIVER EXCLAIMS)
NUBIA: You know this my song.
(CONTINUES SINGING)
MAYA: Oh, snap. Penny, you see this?
They don't have their seatbelts on.
Mmm-mmm, we're dead.
Yeah, we gotta get rid
of your Papi, LaCienega.
Why is he driving?
He doesn't have a license.
He's the only driver we have left.
Sir Paid-a-Lot quit, Dijonay's brothers
and sisters carjacked Uncle Bobby.
They didn't jack nobody.
They just ghostridin' the wheel.
GIRL: Dijonay, let's go girl.
BOY: Dijonay, let's bounce.
Yo, Di!
That's my ride. See y'all later.
Hey, Penny. I don't know what's up,
but we just got a huge surge.
Come check it out.
MAYA: Papi's video went viral.
It has over a million hits.
Black Twiddle is lovin' it, people.
So is white Twiddle.
And brown Twiddle.
And this is only the beginning.
We're gonna be bigger than Tesla.
ALL: Yeah!
No, we're not.
We don't even have
enough money to hire real drivers.
Well, Michael's done for the day,
and every other day.
Stop! Where are you goin'?
You can't quit now.
That's what everyone says
about Generation Z.
That we're Generation La-Z.
We'll find the money.
And as long as
we believe and stick together,
we will zee the mountain top.
What do you say zay, Zers?
(SNIFFLING) That That was inspiring.
(GASPS)
That's a great idea, Zoey.
It is? Uh, what did I say?
-ANNOUNCER: Welcome back to Crab Barrel.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Trudy! What happened to my hot wings?
Quiet, Oscar! Penny and Uncle Bobby
are about to go on Crab Barrel.
Crab Barrel? That show is a scam.
Ain't nobody get no money.
Hey, Rob Riggle here.
We are back with two
new teams, all ready to go head-to-head.
The winner gets their startup
fully funded.
And the loser, as always,
goes into the crab barrel.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
All y'all look like losers,
so get ready to be clawed.
Are you ready?
-Oui.
-Yeah!
(SINGING) Yeah, ah, ah, oh
Team Azul, you are up first.
You have 15 seconds to sell us.
Don't blow it.
Answer me this.
What is the shortest
distance between two points?
Zang, I hate math.
And insects.
And people with bad accents.
You know what, I'm out.
Capricornio, darling,
it is time to fly, or bye.
Oh, my goodness, I'm vicious.
I am vicious.
The answer is my fly suit,
you ignorant Americans.
It will revolutionize the world!
And I only need $18 million
to complete development.
Whoa!
How about that, huh?
Impressive for an arrogant jerk.
Si, si, Neato Tito thinks that was neat-o.
Oui. Si.
Oui, Oui, not so neat-o, Tito. I know.
Team Yellow, you're up.
You got 15 seconds
to take out Frenchie. Go!
Our rideshare app, Get In,
solves the question of,
"Who is gonna pick up the kids?"
From toddlers to tweens, we already have
hundreds of satisfied customers city-wide
and we're ready to go national.
Oh, and what do you do, sweetheart?
Yeah, and in what century, Sisqó?
Come on now, respect your elders there,
Bhad Bhabie.
I'm trying to get on Neato Tito's TV show.
It's my mama's favorite.
One, two, three, hit it!
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) I love them nachos
Gas station nachos
I love those nachos, yeah
Gas station nachos
Fill the tray up really high
Gas station nachos
Just let the cheese run down the sides
Gas station nachos
A little jalapeño for the spice
Gas station nachos
That's what I need in my life
They say I'm addicted
But I really don't care
My nacho life is not your life
All this cheesy gooey goodness
is how I get down
Ain't nothing wrong
with spreading salsa all around
I love the nachos
Gas station nachos
-Oh ja-jalapeños
-I love the nachos, yeah
Oh, spread the cheese all over it
I love the nachos
Gas station nachos
Don't let the chips get soggy now
Gas station nachos
Oh
Ooh.
I love gas station nachos.
Yes, what did you say your name was,
sweetheart? Tell it to me now, please.
Proud. Penny Proud.
Proud? Proud.
Why, why is that ringin' a
Didn't we have somebody here named
Proud before? Didn't Am I crazy?
And I have 500 monkeys
in tip-top shape and ready to go.
And that's how I plan
to make Proud Snacks a global hit.
All I need is $75 and some monkey feed
to get into production.
One swallow will make
your taste buds holler.
-(ROARING)
-(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
Trudy!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(GROANS) I haven't eaten crab since.
You wouldn't be related to a psychotic,
so-called "snack-maker"
named Oscar Proud, would you?
Don't say it, baby! Lie!
Lie, baby, lie!
-Yep, that's my daddy.
-(AUDIENCE GROANS)
Dagnabbit! There goes
Oh, you blew it, baby!
There goes my $200!
Because of your daddy,
I spend $100,000 a year on therapy.
ROB: It took me six months to recover
from that incident your father caused.
Well, I never recovered.
Yo, fly guy.
(SINGING) Don't move
-Gotta fly!
-(GRUNTING)
-(GROWLS)
-(SCREAMING)
Wow, that's never happened before.
Penny Proud, you are,
by default, our winner!
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
This just in. Penny Proud,
daughter of local snack-hack Oscar Proud,
is the new darling of Wall Street.
Snack-hack?
I'll show you who's a hack.
-Hello?
-(PHONE DIALING)
AUTOMATED VOICE: We're sorry,
your call cannot be completed as dialed.
Dang, I'm outta minutes.
(GROWLS MENACINGLY)
And what can I do for you?
Get you a turtleneck sweater? (LAUGHING)
I'm looking for Oscar Proud.
Oh, you're a bill collector.
Well, me too. If you see him, let me
I know who you are, little man.
I'm the Animal Rights inspector.
(CHOKING)
What about the rights for the people?
(SCREAMS)
And as you can see,
everything is in tip-top shape.
Oh, no, wait, don't go in there.
It's under construction.
Here's my Head of Worldwide Production,
Mr. Carmichael.
-Carmichael! What are you doing?
-(CHATTERING)
Oh, no, not you too.
(MR. CHIPS CHUCKLES)
You'll be back, Carmichael! At half pay.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
Well, I guess we're done here.
You can be on your way,
Mr. Head-and-shoulders. (LAUGHING)
-(ROARING)
-(SCREAMING)
(OSCAR GRUNTING)
Trudy!
(OSCAR SCREAMING AND CRYING)
Yeah, girl, I'm snatched.
And every red light represents
a Get In driver worldwide.
I'm so proud of my baby.
Runnin' things just like your mama.
DIJONAY: Penny! Your daddy's here.
What does that fool want?
Tell him I said to make an appointment.
OSCAR: You took my monkey, Penny!
My best employee.
What did you do?
(SCOFFS) Your only employee.
Suga Mama, for once,
can you be on my side?
Not now. Not ever.
What are y'all doin' here?
Y'all better get out
of this white man's office.
(CHUCKLING) This is my office, Daddy.
And it's all because of what you told me.
Aren't you proud of me?
Of course, I'm proud of you, baby girl.
You're doing your thing.
What exactly did I tell you again?
I can do anything.
-Seriously, what did I tell you?
-That was it, Daddy. Thank you.
(OSCAR CHUCKLES)
You know, I was thinking,
I could use some help over here.
We expanded so fast,
and I was thinking
maybe you could be president of
President? Of course I can, baby girl.
You came to the right person.
I've got plenty of ideas, too.
First order of business, fire Suga Mama.
Slow down, bruh. I'm still runnin' things.
You're president
of customer relations, Daddy.
You'll interact with the customers,
deal with complaints, make people happy.
You sure you want him
talkin' to people, Penny?
I'm sure your moustache needs a trim.
Trudy!
Penny! You in danger, girl! Look!
The stand-off began earlier today,
when a Get In driver was pulled over
for running a red light.
As it turns out, the Get In driver
in question was not a man,
but a simian with a fake driver's license.
The pesky primate was promptly taken
to county jail,
booked, and held without bail.
Sadly, Get In stock, which I just bought
a boatload of, is plummeting as we speak.
(ALL GASP)
Dijonay, I thought you checked
Mr. Carmichael's credentials?
I did. They looked real to me.
Well, we're done. It's over.
What kind of fool would give a monkey
a fake driver's license?
I tell you, whoever that was
needs to be in jail.
(HARMONICA PLAYING)
Give me that!
You just had to tell five-oh.
Couldn't say,
"Sorry, I'm late for the meeting,"
but you could say, "Oscar Proud."
You're not a monkey, you're a rat.
And the only good thing about that,
is you here with me,
which I don't understand
because you're a monkey.
But not for long, my furry friend.
My lawyer's gonna come and leave
your monkey-bred butt here to mold.
Hey, your attorney's here. Time to go.
(CHUCKLES)
See you in five to ten, Carmichael. Hey
Not you, little man.
Mr. Carmichael,
you're free to go run your snack company.
What do you mean he can
It's Proud Snacks. Not Carmichael Snacks.
He works for me. He works for me!
-He's but a monkey. He works for me.
-(LAUGHING)
-(PLAYING HARMONICA)
-(RAT SQUEAKS IN ANNOYANCE)
(SCREAMING)
Trudy!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Copy that. Disturbance on the third floor.
MAN: Damn man,
the rodents are getting worse.
Penny, I'm worried and scared.
It's getting kinda late.
If we're here any longer,
we're gonna have to eat dinner here.
Not gonna happen, dear.
Dijonay took all the leftovers.
What? This ain't for me.
This is for my brothers and sisters.
Now, Dijonay, that's supposed to be
for those less fortunate than us.
I got ten brothers and sisters.
You do the math.
ZOEY: Why do such creepy people
come out at night?
I'm not scared. My KG will protect me.
MICHAEL: Oh, snap, Dijonay.
You just got droned!
(LAUGHS)
-Proud, where are your parents?
-Don't worry.
-They're on their way.
-(CAR APPROACHING)
-(MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
-Uncle Bobby?
Penny, what y'all doin' here, little girl?
Volunteering to feed the hungry.
Why are you here?
Because I'm hungry.
(SINGING) Hungry
Uh, Uncle Bobby, do you think
you can give us a ride home?
I called Mama and Daddy,
but they aren't answering.
Sure, after I get my tacos.
(SINGING) Uncle Bobby loves taco Tuesdays
Too late. They all gone.
No, they're not.
But they are now.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Zang! You greedy, Uncle Bobby!
(CAR APPROACHING)
(SINGING) The Proud Family What?
You and me will always be tight
Family every day and every night
Even when you start acting like a fool
You know that I'm lovin'
every single thing you do
I know I can always be myself
When I'm with you
more than anybody else
Every single day
that I'm headed off to school
You know there's no one
I love as much as you
-The family
-The family
Proud family
They'll make you scream
They'll make you wanna sing
It's a family thing, a family
A proud, proud family
Proud family
They'll push your buttons
They'll make you wanna hug 'em
A family, family
Proud, proud family
Proud, proud family
(OSCAR SCREAMS)
Okay, Mr. Chips, put on the disguise.
(GRUMBLES)
Now, put your head in the hole.
(GRUMBLES)
It's either the hole, or "the hole."
-(DEMONIC VOICES SCREAMING)
-(CRUNCHES)
(GRUMBLES)
(CHUCKLES) Hey, there you go!
Now you look
like my Head of Worldwide Production.
This'll throw the stupid animal rights
people off my trail.
Wait till I find who
dropped the dime on me.
(CHUCKLES)
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
Okay, Mr. Chips. Say, "Banana."
-Huh?
-(CHITTERING)
What in the Trudy!
Quiet, boy! Can't hear my stories.
I've got a story for you
and that Cuban caballero Get out!
(PAPI SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
(WHOOPS)
Oscar, keep your voice down.
You're gonna scare the puppies.
Puppies? They look like rats.
(SCREAMS)
(TRUDY LAUGHING)
Mama, where is Daddy?
He was supposed to pick us up
from the food pantry.
I've been calling y'all for the past hour.
Your dad is up on the ceiling
playing Spider-Man.
Except the dummy don't realize
he don't have no Spidey powers.
I don't? (SCREAMS)
If it wasn't for Uncle Bobby,
we would still be standing on the corner.
(SINGING) Ooh, yeah
I'm sorry, baby. My phone was on silent.
Until I pay my bill,
my phone is on silent, too.
Yes, but I told you, Oscar,
that you had to pick them up.
What's the big deal? I told you,
Trudy, you're making these kids soft.
Shoot, my parents never picked
me and Bobby up.
No, we never picked you up.
Thank you, Suga Mommy dearest.
My point is, we were hard.
This generation X-Y-Z is so lazy,
they won't even hitchhike.
-They want everything on a silver platter.
-No.
We just want our parents to do
what they say they're gonna do.
Whoa!
I'm sorry, baby,
but I had an emergency delivery.
And I had an emergency photoshoot.
Show 'em, Mr. Chips.
(CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
(LAUGHS)
Let me guess which one of y'all
is supposed to pick up BeBe and CeCe.
-Oscar!
-Shh. She's about to guess.
You better go get my babies, now!
-(ROARS)
-(SCREAMING)
Hold on. You invented,
I wanna get this right
You invented an all-natural cure
that costs less than $20?
Oh, my gosh.
You know, this show is sponsored
by the largest pharmaceutical company
in the world, right?
You are in the crab barrel.
-(CROWD BOOING)
-(SCREAMS)
They don't play on Crab Barrel,
do they, Papi? (LAUGHS)
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
(SIGHS) Oh, what a day.
I delivered two horses,
a goat, and a giraffe.
I feel like I could eat one.
What's for dinner?
I don't know. What you makin', Oscar?
I'm makin' money, that's what I'm makin'.
(EXCLAIMS)
(ALL LAUGHING)
SUGA MAMA: He's makin' money.
He's makin', makin' money.
OSCAR: I've been makin' money, y'all.
Now, where y'all been?
You forgot us again.
Oh, baby, we are so sorry.
It's okay. Uncle Bobby got us.
(SINGING) Right on time
He didn't do it for free.
I told him you'd give him $20.
$20? For what?
(SINGING) Gas and nacho money
I'm talkin' dollar bill, y'all
Chasing that bag, y'all
I want the scrilla
I want the fetti
I need my nacho money Oh
Well, you're right. It's not your money.
-Now, get out!
-(BOBBY GROANS)
Here, you go, Uncle Bobby,
a large nachos with extra jalapeños.
(IN SING-SONG VOICE) Gas station nachos
My favorite
Anytime you want a ride, Penny
Call your Uncle Bobby
(NORMAL VOICE) Mmm-hmm,
that spicy cheese
(VOCALIZING) Oh, oh, oh, oh
That's it!
What if there were a driving service
to pick up kids after school?
I mean, my dad won't pay,
but I bet all my friends' parents would.
All I need is an app
and someone desperate enough
to drive the kids for next to no money.
(GULPS)
How much did you give 'em for the gas?
Five dollars.
Hey! That's more than five dollars!
-You owe me money!
-Oh! Penny, shut the door.
I got my foot on the floor,
we gotta go. Get in, girl!
That's it, Uncle Bobby.
We'll call it, "Get In!"
Get in!
LACIENEGA:
When did you build this tree house?
When you were ten?
ZOEY: Yeah, time for a remodel, Proud.
-Ugh, or a wrecking ball.
-I don't know what y'all talking about.
This is bigger than me, Basil,
and Paprika's room.
(EXCLAIMING)
(SCREAMS)
Am I the only one that saw that?
Come on, stay focused, Dijonay.
All we have to do is learn code,
make our own app,
come up with a dope marketing plan,
raise some money, and we're in business.
What do you mean "we"?
It's your business.
Wrong as usual, LaCienega.
It's "our business."
And I can't just get involved
with anything.
I have a brand to protect.
Yes, and I need to see a contract.
Business isn't really my thing.
When I was three,
they re-possessed my lemonade stand.
Come on, guys. I know it sounds hard,
but we've gotta do something.
Aren't you sick and tired of waiting
on your parents for rides?
ALL: Yeah.
Aren't you sick and tired of them
forgettin' to pick you up?
ALL: Yeah!
Well, let's show them we are sick
and tired of bein' sick and tired,
and we're not gonna take it anymore!
-ALL: Yeah!
-(PENNY SCREAMS)
(CHUCKLES) Ooh.
Stay focused, Penny.
(GROANING)
WOMAN ON PHONE:
"Get In!" Sounds wonderful.
Just one question
How old are you, dear?
Just turned 14. I'm a Virgo.
Hello? Hello?
Dang. That's the tenth hang up of today.
Make that 11. Mine just hung up, too.
Face it, Penny, no one's gonna sign up
unless we get an adult to make the calls.
Oh, no, don't worry. I got this.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
WOMAN: Ooh, I don't know
what you talkin' about, cat daddy,
but I was gonna say, "Knick knack paddy
whack, give mama what she needs."
Sign me up!
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
Great idea getting Papi.
I told you.
He signed up over a 100 people already.
I'm talkin' about in the back
of a Cadillac jump back jack.
You need to be at least 18
to be a driver for Get In.
So, how old are you, Peabo?
You can't ask that in a interview.
But alas, since we're crossing boundaries,
-I'm old enough to take you on a date.
-Okay, that's it.
Dijonay, I'm goin' on a break.
So, uh, Dijonay
Little boy, bye.
Next!
Sir-Paid-A-Lot?
Why does a rich rapper like you
wanna be a "Get In" driver?
I need a second hustle, you know?
Times is tight. I'm talking Napster,
Migos, IRS, take your pick, dawg.
But I gotta get that bag!
Next!
It's litty, Penny.
I just finished building the app.
I just need $200 more
for the platform fees and we good to go.
Two hundred dollars?
We're not goin' anywhere.
Unless
Okay, Mr. Chips,
let's try again, all right?
-We gotta practice.
-(CHATTERING ANGRILY)
What do you mean, "What?"
I'm trying to save your monkey butt.
Now, when the inspector asks you
your name, you're gonna say
-(YELLS)
-No, no. You say, "No hablo inglés."
(CHATTERING ANGRILY)
No, no, no. I don't sign in Spanish.
Sign in English before I send you back
to that Hungarian circus.
Daddy. Hey.
I wanted to let you know that me and
my friends started a rideshare business
for parents who are too busy
to pick up their kids.
That's cute, baby girl.
But Daddy's too busy to talk right now.
But, Daddy, you're always looking
for a great business opportunity, right?
So, for only $200,
you can get in on the ground floor.
If I had $200, do you think I'd be trying
to teach a monkey how to speak English?
Why are you trying to start
a business? You're too young.
But, Daddy, you've always told me
I can do anything.
Besides, this is a great idea.
So is a snack factory,
and getting married, and having kids!
Don't worry, Penny.
Suga Mama'll give you your $200.
Follow your dreams, baby.
What? You never gave me any money
to follow nothin', more less my dreams.
That's 'cause you didn't have
any dreams, son.
-Only nightmares.
-You're the nightmare!
(ROARING)
(YELLING)
Works every time.
Whoo-hoo!
Download Get In!
The greatest rideshare app ever!
Once you Get In, you don't wanna get out!
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
GIRL: It was so fast.
It was a pop-up place.
Already here.
Get in you guys. It's so cool.
All right. If you little crumb-snatchers
don't sit down and zip it,
you ain't gonna get no
(SINGING) Candy
Oops, I ate it all.
We're gonna get you, you boneless wazzock.
Bum-rush the bum, blokes.
Come back here! My mama gave me that car!
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR SPEAKERS)
Ey, turn that up, Papi!
This song slaps!
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
-NUBIA: Let's go!
-(LAUGHS)
(SINGING ALONG TO SONG)
(DRIVER EXCLAIMS)
NUBIA: You know this my song.
(CONTINUES SINGING)
MAYA: Oh, snap. Penny, you see this?
They don't have their seatbelts on.
Mmm-mmm, we're dead.
Yeah, we gotta get rid
of your Papi, LaCienega.
Why is he driving?
He doesn't have a license.
He's the only driver we have left.
Sir Paid-a-Lot quit, Dijonay's brothers
and sisters carjacked Uncle Bobby.
They didn't jack nobody.
They just ghostridin' the wheel.
GIRL: Dijonay, let's go girl.
BOY: Dijonay, let's bounce.
Yo, Di!
That's my ride. See y'all later.
Hey, Penny. I don't know what's up,
but we just got a huge surge.
Come check it out.
MAYA: Papi's video went viral.
It has over a million hits.
Black Twiddle is lovin' it, people.
So is white Twiddle.
And brown Twiddle.
And this is only the beginning.
We're gonna be bigger than Tesla.
ALL: Yeah!
No, we're not.
We don't even have
enough money to hire real drivers.
Well, Michael's done for the day,
and every other day.
Stop! Where are you goin'?
You can't quit now.
That's what everyone says
about Generation Z.
That we're Generation La-Z.
We'll find the money.
And as long as
we believe and stick together,
we will zee the mountain top.
What do you say zay, Zers?
(SNIFFLING) That That was inspiring.
(GASPS)
That's a great idea, Zoey.
It is? Uh, what did I say?
-ANNOUNCER: Welcome back to Crab Barrel.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Trudy! What happened to my hot wings?
Quiet, Oscar! Penny and Uncle Bobby
are about to go on Crab Barrel.
Crab Barrel? That show is a scam.
Ain't nobody get no money.
Hey, Rob Riggle here.
We are back with two
new teams, all ready to go head-to-head.
The winner gets their startup
fully funded.
And the loser, as always,
goes into the crab barrel.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
All y'all look like losers,
so get ready to be clawed.
Are you ready?
-Oui.
-Yeah!
(SINGING) Yeah, ah, ah, oh
Team Azul, you are up first.
You have 15 seconds to sell us.
Don't blow it.
Answer me this.
What is the shortest
distance between two points?
Zang, I hate math.
And insects.
And people with bad accents.
You know what, I'm out.
Capricornio, darling,
it is time to fly, or bye.
Oh, my goodness, I'm vicious.
I am vicious.
The answer is my fly suit,
you ignorant Americans.
It will revolutionize the world!
And I only need $18 million
to complete development.
Whoa!
How about that, huh?
Impressive for an arrogant jerk.
Si, si, Neato Tito thinks that was neat-o.
Oui. Si.
Oui, Oui, not so neat-o, Tito. I know.
Team Yellow, you're up.
You got 15 seconds
to take out Frenchie. Go!
Our rideshare app, Get In,
solves the question of,
"Who is gonna pick up the kids?"
From toddlers to tweens, we already have
hundreds of satisfied customers city-wide
and we're ready to go national.
Oh, and what do you do, sweetheart?
Yeah, and in what century, Sisqó?
Come on now, respect your elders there,
Bhad Bhabie.
I'm trying to get on Neato Tito's TV show.
It's my mama's favorite.
One, two, three, hit it!
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) I love them nachos
Gas station nachos
I love those nachos, yeah
Gas station nachos
Fill the tray up really high
Gas station nachos
Just let the cheese run down the sides
Gas station nachos
A little jalapeño for the spice
Gas station nachos
That's what I need in my life
They say I'm addicted
But I really don't care
My nacho life is not your life
All this cheesy gooey goodness
is how I get down
Ain't nothing wrong
with spreading salsa all around
I love the nachos
Gas station nachos
-Oh ja-jalapeños
-I love the nachos, yeah
Oh, spread the cheese all over it
I love the nachos
Gas station nachos
Don't let the chips get soggy now
Gas station nachos
Oh
Ooh.
I love gas station nachos.
Yes, what did you say your name was,
sweetheart? Tell it to me now, please.
Proud. Penny Proud.
Proud? Proud.
Why, why is that ringin' a
Didn't we have somebody here named
Proud before? Didn't Am I crazy?
And I have 500 monkeys
in tip-top shape and ready to go.
And that's how I plan
to make Proud Snacks a global hit.
All I need is $75 and some monkey feed
to get into production.
One swallow will make
your taste buds holler.
-(ROARING)
-(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
Trudy!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(GROANS) I haven't eaten crab since.
You wouldn't be related to a psychotic,
so-called "snack-maker"
named Oscar Proud, would you?
Don't say it, baby! Lie!
Lie, baby, lie!
-Yep, that's my daddy.
-(AUDIENCE GROANS)
Dagnabbit! There goes
Oh, you blew it, baby!
There goes my $200!
Because of your daddy,
I spend $100,000 a year on therapy.
ROB: It took me six months to recover
from that incident your father caused.
Well, I never recovered.
Yo, fly guy.
(SINGING) Don't move
-Gotta fly!
-(GRUNTING)
-(GROWLS)
-(SCREAMING)
Wow, that's never happened before.
Penny Proud, you are,
by default, our winner!
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
This just in. Penny Proud,
daughter of local snack-hack Oscar Proud,
is the new darling of Wall Street.
Snack-hack?
I'll show you who's a hack.
-Hello?
-(PHONE DIALING)
AUTOMATED VOICE: We're sorry,
your call cannot be completed as dialed.
Dang, I'm outta minutes.
(GROWLS MENACINGLY)
And what can I do for you?
Get you a turtleneck sweater? (LAUGHING)
I'm looking for Oscar Proud.
Oh, you're a bill collector.
Well, me too. If you see him, let me
I know who you are, little man.
I'm the Animal Rights inspector.
(CHOKING)
What about the rights for the people?
(SCREAMS)
And as you can see,
everything is in tip-top shape.
Oh, no, wait, don't go in there.
It's under construction.
Here's my Head of Worldwide Production,
Mr. Carmichael.
-Carmichael! What are you doing?
-(CHATTERING)
Oh, no, not you too.
(MR. CHIPS CHUCKLES)
You'll be back, Carmichael! At half pay.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
Well, I guess we're done here.
You can be on your way,
Mr. Head-and-shoulders. (LAUGHING)
-(ROARING)
-(SCREAMING)
(OSCAR GRUNTING)
Trudy!
(OSCAR SCREAMING AND CRYING)
Yeah, girl, I'm snatched.
And every red light represents
a Get In driver worldwide.
I'm so proud of my baby.
Runnin' things just like your mama.
DIJONAY: Penny! Your daddy's here.
What does that fool want?
Tell him I said to make an appointment.
OSCAR: You took my monkey, Penny!
My best employee.
What did you do?
(SCOFFS) Your only employee.
Suga Mama, for once,
can you be on my side?
Not now. Not ever.
What are y'all doin' here?
Y'all better get out
of this white man's office.
(CHUCKLING) This is my office, Daddy.
And it's all because of what you told me.
Aren't you proud of me?
Of course, I'm proud of you, baby girl.
You're doing your thing.
What exactly did I tell you again?
I can do anything.
-Seriously, what did I tell you?
-That was it, Daddy. Thank you.
(OSCAR CHUCKLES)
You know, I was thinking,
I could use some help over here.
We expanded so fast,
and I was thinking
maybe you could be president of
President? Of course I can, baby girl.
You came to the right person.
I've got plenty of ideas, too.
First order of business, fire Suga Mama.
Slow down, bruh. I'm still runnin' things.
You're president
of customer relations, Daddy.
You'll interact with the customers,
deal with complaints, make people happy.
You sure you want him
talkin' to people, Penny?
I'm sure your moustache needs a trim.
Trudy!
Penny! You in danger, girl! Look!
The stand-off began earlier today,
when a Get In driver was pulled over
for running a red light.
As it turns out, the Get In driver
in question was not a man,
but a simian with a fake driver's license.
The pesky primate was promptly taken
to county jail,
booked, and held without bail.
Sadly, Get In stock, which I just bought
a boatload of, is plummeting as we speak.
(ALL GASP)
Dijonay, I thought you checked
Mr. Carmichael's credentials?
I did. They looked real to me.
Well, we're done. It's over.
What kind of fool would give a monkey
a fake driver's license?
I tell you, whoever that was
needs to be in jail.
(HARMONICA PLAYING)
Give me that!
You just had to tell five-oh.
Couldn't say,
"Sorry, I'm late for the meeting,"
but you could say, "Oscar Proud."
You're not a monkey, you're a rat.
And the only good thing about that,
is you here with me,
which I don't understand
because you're a monkey.
But not for long, my furry friend.
My lawyer's gonna come and leave
your monkey-bred butt here to mold.
Hey, your attorney's here. Time to go.
(CHUCKLES)
See you in five to ten, Carmichael. Hey
Not you, little man.
Mr. Carmichael,
you're free to go run your snack company.
What do you mean he can
It's Proud Snacks. Not Carmichael Snacks.
He works for me. He works for me!
-He's but a monkey. He works for me.
-(LAUGHING)
-(PLAYING HARMONICA)
-(RAT SQUEAKS IN ANNOYANCE)
(SCREAMING)
Trudy!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)