The Sarah Jane Adventures s01e06 Episode Script

cities where there's a Combat 3000, during a freak storm.
Help me get my boy back, Miss Smith.
What is that rain? Insufficient data.
Maybe we can get you more.
Wow! Particles identified as entanglement shells.
Entanglement shells can be a by-product of trans-dimensional energy dispersal.
Teleportation.
What are we looking for? Perhaps I can help.
Mr Grantham, I presume.
Not Mr Kudlak - I hear he stays in the shadows.
I wonder where that is! Just bring me children.
Someone shows promise! Yeah, there's a couple of kids.
One of them's really something.
What does a matter transporter look like? It's Luke and Clyde! No! Whoa! What was all that about? I think someone went over the top with the effects budget on this place.
I feel sick.
Well, do me a favour.
If they hand us the trophy, don't puke in it.
I don't like to kill unarmed women and children but, forgive me, this is war.
Run! Why are you an idiot?! Run! Where now? There must be an emergency exit.
Are you all right? UNIT training.
Never forget it.
Just get a little older, that's all.
This way! Please! Come on! Stand back! What about Luke and Clyde? They're not there, but we'll find them! We have to find out who we're up against! I want my ticket to the world championships.
I thought you were getting worried.
Nah, adrenaline-hype, that's all.
Look, nothing's happened.
We're stuck in this room off the arena waiting for that Grantham guy.
I don't know, Clyde.
Something's not right.
Oh, about time! You the honour guards? You know what, Luke, I like their style.
.
.
Hey, what are you doing? Get off me! What? Clyde! Let me out! What you doing? You have compromised the mission! What? The woman and female child have escaped! YOU went after them.
If they got away, it's your fault.
Your security should never have allowed them access.
You're a liability to the success of this operation and to the survival of my people.
You are a disgrace to your own species, Grantham.
You have always sickened me.
Killing you will be a service to both our worlds.
No! Please! Please 'Kudlak? What is happening?' The mission is compromised, Mistress.
We must evacuate.
'No! You will stay there.
'You must send me children! More children!' But the security has been breached.
'Do not argue, Kudlak.
' 'I am your Mistress!' Yes, Mistress.
Sounds like you'll be needing me around a little bit more, Mr Kudlak.
I think I know how to sort your security problem.
ROAR! Mr Smith, I need you.
Luke and Clyde have been abducted by an alien.
I need you to identify the species.
Please describe.
Humanoid.
Brownish face.
Kinda slimy.
Wide cheekbones.
No, wider.
And big eyes.
Yes! I think that's it! Uvodni.
Their home planet is in the Spiral Cluster of the Dragon Nebula, His name is Kudlak.
Accessing Uvodni database.
Kudlak.
General Uvlavad Kudlak.
One of the Uvodni Signus Brigade's most decorated warriors.
A soldier.
The Uvodni were part of a planetary alliance that fought the Malakh in the Ghost Wars.
Who are the Malakh? They'd start a war with you for looking at them.
When other allies had been crushed, the Uvodni continued to fight.
But why is Kudlak on Earth, abducting children? My last data registration of General Kudlak is from a cyber-con download with a Zantoxian trade vessel that passed through the solar system two months ago.
A what? Mr Smith likes to connect with on-board computers of passing alien vessels.
It pays to stay in touch.
What about Kudlak? massive casualties in a battle.
Kudlak was badly injured and forced to leave the front line.
It doesn't tell us why he's taken Luke and Clyde.
Well, maybe it does.
Remember what Grantham said in his office? Children love war games.
An old soldier like Kudlak wouldn't retire.
I think he's recruiting.
What? I think he's looking for soldiers.
I've got no signal.
You? Nothing.
My battery's dead.
Oh, man.
The bucket! This is not good.
I think you're right.
Did you feel it back then? The floor was vibrating.
How d'you mean? Very slightly.
Which means? It wasn't doing that before.
I don't think we're at Combat 3000 any more.
I think we arrived.
What are you doing? If you've got any idea what's going on, I'd love to hear it.
I don't think we got into the world championships.
Who's there? Did you hear that? Who is that? Whoa! Looks like things are finally picking up round here.
What's your name? Jen.
Who are you? I'm Clyde.
This is Luke.
Have you got a reason for sitting in a crate or are you like us, itching for a clue to what the hell's going on? I won Level Two at Combat 3000.
Next thing those jokers are locking me up.
Clyde? I think I've found you that clue.
Lance! Look, I don't want to freak you out, but your mum's going out of her mind worrying about you.
Do you have a trace on the storm, when Luke and Clyde were taken? Yes.
I have monitored weather conditions across the country.
Is it possible to track the beam? To calculate where it's taken the boys? Detection of this would require synchronous data-scraping in all 11 dimensions around Combat 3000.
Can you do it? Of course.
One minute.
GLASS BREAKS Wait here.
I know, I probably should have called you first, but Not at all, Mr Grantham.
I'm always delighted to study new forms of human low-life in the comfort of my own home.
You are a cool old bird, I'll give you that.
Collaborating with an alien child abductor.
That really is a new depth in the low-life stakes.
I didn't come here to discuss my business dealings, Miss Smith.
Business dealings? You're helping that monster press-gang children into a war light-years away, just for money? It's what makes the galaxy go round.
Ugh, you're despicable.
And you You are done for.
No, Mr Grantham.
I think you're the one that's done with! So we all played Combat 3000 and ended up here? And we played all over the place - London, Brighton, Manchester, Leeds and Inverness.
Kids from all over the country must have been going missing.
But how did we get here? Wherever "here" is.
Who are they, and what do they want with us? I played that stupid game again and again just to get to Level Two, and I end up in a crate! What's going on? BEEPING Someone's coming.
Just stick with me, OK? I'll look after you.
Just stick with me! I'll look after YOU! Come on! Let's go! Where the heck are we? Where do we go? This way.
Why this way? Why not? When did the moon turn blue? That isn't the moon! I don't believe it.
We can't be! Oh, man! We are.
I never thought it would be so beautiful.
Oh, we are a long way from home.
They're in space? In Earth's orbit.
But it could be worse.
How?! The transporter could have sent them across the galaxy to the Uvodni world.
But they're in space.
It doesn't matter whether it's Earth's orbit or the Planet of the Apes.
Unless you've got a friend at NASA with a shuttle, we're stuffed - and so are Luke and Clyde.
Maria, we're going to get them back.
How? Mr Grantham is going to help us.
It's a trick.
It's got to be a trick.
We didn't fly anywhere.
We were teleported.
Yeah, right(!) Like beam me up, Scotty.
Trust me, it's real.
And that's a real gun.
Come on! If we're in space, how are we gonna get away? He's got a point.
We'll find a way.
My warriors! Such very fine warriors.
What are we doing here? What's with this "warrior" stuff? All we did was win a game of laser tag! Hey, maybe that's it! Maybe this is just another part of the game - level three.
Silence! Behold your Mistress! Welcome, my warriors.
We're not warriors.
We're kids.
None of those before you had the initiative to escape the holding deck.
None forced my return to the ship to deal with them.
You are good warrior stock.
This is such rubbish.
You have proved yourself in the arena.
You have hearts of heroes.
You will not suffer our enemies to live, and we will honour your sacrifice.
Hey, majesty or whatever, no offence but I think you're getting mixed up here.
Back in the arena, we were playing.
And what is play if it is not a preparation for life? Look, fight your own war.
It's got nothing to do with us.
We want to go home! Luke! Such determination.
Such loyalty to each other.
You have chosen well, Kudlak.
Suppose we refuse to fight.
What then? Then you will be cowards.
You will not fall as heroes.
But, nevertheless, you will die.
That teleporter is here, and you're going to take us to it.
And then what? Are you going to beam yourself up to the Uvodni ship and take them on with your lipstick? You won't be so cocky when you go down for abducting those children! HE LAUGHS So you're going to tell the police that I helped some butt-ugly alien send kids to war in a galaxy far, far away? It won't be me going down, love.
It will be you, down to the funny farm.
Who needs to mention aliens? There's evidence to link you to the disappearances.
I doubt that men like you fare too well in prison.
All right, all right, all right.
I'll help you out as much as I can - for all it's worth.
First thing is, it's not Kudlak that calls all the shots.
You have done well, Kudlak.
The recruits have spirit.
They will see it is better to fight than to die a coward's death.
How many that we have sent into battle these last years have survived, do you suppose? We have survived, Kudlak.
The Uvodni have survived.
Yes, Mistress.
You seem weary, General.
It has been a long war, Mistress.
I grow old dreaming of peace.
Peace?! Dreams of peace are for farmers, Kudlak! Of course, Mistress.
I beg forgiveness.
I am tired.
We have done glorious work for our people, Kudlak.
Humans are among the most aggressive species in the galaxy.
Their young have untamed potential.
Their imagination and adaptability have, for decades, helped our armies do glorious battle against the Malakh.
Yes, Mistress.
But I wonder how these battles fare.
It has been so long since I've heard from the front.
Our battles are glorious, Kudlak, and one day we will crush the Malakh.
And then there will be peace? A man like you should not dream of peace, General Kudlak.
Without war, the cosmos has no need of us.
Prepare the recruits for transportation to the front.
Yes, Mistress.
My dad was a soldier.
He thought there were times when you HAD to fight.
Yeah.
But this isn't our fight.
Can I borrow your mobile, Clyde? We're in space, Luke! Who are you gonna ring? Have you got the number for Captain Kirk?! Who? Oh, just don't break it.
Whatever's going on across the galaxy, it's nothing to do with us.
Kudlak doesn't see it like that.
Forget Kudlak.
We need a plan to get out of here.
What can we do? We're on a space ship.
The only way we'll get off is if we get sent into some alien war.
Or we steal a shuttlecraft.
What did you say? I've wired Clyde's mobile to the ship's computer.
He did what? Sorry.
My friend's a bit of a geek.
This is a plan of the spacecraft.
Just like the Isle of Wight ferry! Yeah, that ferry(!) This is where they took us to see the Mistress.
And this, I'm pretty sure, is a Shuttlecraft! Genius.
Yeah.
Genius.
He can wire your phone into an alien computer, but can you fly an alien shuttlecraft? No.
But he can wire my phone up to an alien computer.
Give the boy a chance! It doesn't matter if he can fly it or not - we're not going anywhere.
Wanna wager? Bet, Luke.
It's a bet.
I'll warn you again, Mr Grantham.
If you don't uphold your side of the bargain and see we reach the Uvodni ship in one piece, my friend Mr Smith has detailed files on you that will be in the hands of the police by midnight.
Don't worry, Miss Smith.
I'll get you up to the Uvodni ship.
Why wouldn't I? You're never going to come back.
Oh, I'll be back, Mr Grantham.
I'll be back.
Not far now.
What was it, first right or second right? Second.
No, first! It was first.
Whoa! They're over there, too.
We can't fight for them if they grease us! Maybe we're just too much trouble! Oh, yeah! We rock! What now? Just stay calm.
I don't want to freak you out, but I'm losing "calm" as an option here.
I never thought I would lay eyes on a sight like this again.
It's incredible.
Even after everything I've seen, I never thought I'd see this.
Maybe if everybody could see the Earth from up here, they might appreciate it more.
Come on, Maria, we have to go.
OK, I've gone past "worried", I'm not even stopping at "anxious".
I'm full-throttling into "panicked beyond reason".
Get a move on! You're enjoying this, aren't you? Clyde, look at this.
What is the meaning of this? Who are you? My name is Sarah Jane Smith and I want my son back! Clyde, look what I've just seen in the computer banks! Not now, Luke - later! Clyde, look! It's the shuttle craft! He made it! Get a move on! Warriors! I salute you! Yours is without doubt the finest war blood I have been honoured to gather.
And now it is time to leave, to take your place on the Uvodni front line! What do you know of my war? I know war, any war, is no place for children.
No matter how desperate your people may be.
My people are not desperate! They are proud! They are victorious! Victorious? Is that what you call using somebody else's children to fight their war? Your species has a hunger for battle! We don't! The children don't! We've seen what adults have done to the world with their war and we don't want it any more.
Lies! I've seen your games.
It's pretend! Can't you understand that? The children you sent to fight score highly in a game.
It's not the same as fighting in a battlefield.
They adapt or fall.
And just how victorious are your battles, Mistress? What is the word from the front? Mistress - your warriors are ready! Intruders! Execute them, Kudlak! Mum! And I had such hopes for you, young warrior! No! He's not a warrior! None of them are - they're children! War changes everything! Stop.
The war is over.
What is this? Lies! Execute them! I found this in your computer banks.
This is trickery! No! Let him show you.
I hacked into your ship's computer.
That's how we escaped.
I found this by accident.
I will not permit this, Kudlak.
Vessels of the Imperial Fleet, this is your Emperor.
We have agreed an armistice with the Malakh.
After all these centuries, peace at last! Come home, all my proud warriors.
Come home.
We have much to rebuild.
What Malakh subterfuge is this? Luke found it in your data banks! You have to believe it.
The war is over! According to the data, that message is 10 years old.
Ten years?! The mistress would have told me! We would have gone home! This is a trick! You wish to destroy us! We don't want to destroy you.
No matter what your mistress has told you, Earth wants to live in peace with its neighbours.
But mistress, is this true? Is the war ended all these years? Perhaps she doesn't want to go home.
Perhaps without a war there's no need for her.
Or for you.
Mistress? Peace does not compute.
What? Peace does not compute.
P-P-Peace does n-not not compute.
The mistress - she's a computer! She buried the message from your Emperor! Is it true? I am not programmed for peace.
The scenario does not compute.
It cannot be real! You never expected the war to end! Your computers were never programmed to recognise it! Peace is an anomaly! Without war, I cannot exist! The point of our war was to achieve peace for our home! We have no home.
Except on the battlefield.
Peace is a stranger's land.
We have no place there.
You may not, but I do! Ahhh! All these years of peace wasted! I thought the Malakh were my enemy, but all this time it was you! And I will not suffer my enemies to live! The mistress is dead.
And I have committed an unforgivable crime against your world.
You are free and my life is yours to take.
Taking life is never the answer, General Kudlak.
Whether we have been wronged by one man or a whole planet, it is always the innocents that suffer.
I am not an innocent.
But maybe I can find some of those that were.
The ones I sent far away and that still survive.
Perhaps I can return them and one day, find some peace for myself.
I hope you can.
General Kudlak.
It is my duty.
We're leaving.
Now.
Not much of a hero's welcome! Who cares? We're back! Looks like Grantham's done a runner.
I never expected him to hang around, did you?! He can't get away with what he's done! He's worse than Kudlak! I don't think Mr Grantham's the sort to stay out of trouble.
He'll get what's coming to him.
Eventually.
Yeah, OK.
That was a kiss! You saved our skin, Luke, you deserved it.
In fact Yeah! I thought I'd lost you! I'm sorry, but I'm back now.
Where have you been? Thank you.
I bet he doesn't tell her where he's been.
Boys never talk to their mums.
Are you joking? How many people really get to go up in space? Like, er no one! She won't be able to shut him up.
She won't believe a word, but she won't want him to stop! I wonder if he'll be a soldier like his dad? After today, he might want to be an astronaut.
The first man on Mars! First human man on Mars, that is! Are you all right, Luke? Is something wrong? No, I'm fine.
You were a hero out there.
All that stuff with my mobile was brilliant! You all needed me.
I felt like I belonged.
So what's with the sponsored silence? I'm thinking about something else.
You know you said anything I wanted to know, just ask? Encyclopaedia Clyde-annica! I'm your man! Tell me about girls? Oh, man! This is for you.
He said give it to the person you trust the most.
Who's Andrea? Dad, something really weird is going on.
There's this woman in Sarah Jane's house! Who's Sarah Jane? Maria, please help me! Dad! Get out of my house! This isn't your house! Who are you? What about Maria? Remember