The Second Best Hospital in the Galaxy (2024) s01e06 Episode Script
That’s Science, Baby!
1
♪
[playful chattering]
Hey, where's my
St. Cthonk's hat?
[Nerlo] Okay, kids,
who wants to hear
the story of St. Cthonk?
[grunts]
"Cthonk was a person
with no small reputation
for he's hailed as the genius
who found teleportation."
Ah-ha-ha!
"He tested on Yagops,
broken, twisted, and dripping
as he perfected the science
that brought us
very fast shipping."
[gasps]
[groans]
Huh?
"It was shocking to all
when Cthonk disappeared.
It's said he let out a call
only Xargogs could hear.
Did the GHU get him,
blink him out of existence?
Or did he take a vacation
at his Xargog's insistence?
All records were lost
though no one knows why.
But from what we do know,
he was a really great guy."
[exclaims]
"There are whispers he died,
and was buried, all rotty.
So we seek out the proof,
and dig for his dead body.
May you choke on a bone,
and find fate at your door.
But above all, as Cthonk did"
[all exclaim]
"may you always explore."
[crackling]
♪
[Klak] Even you have to admit
we're stuck.
What if we ask for help
with Larvin Jr.?
If we tell them
it's for medicine,
- the Florks might actually
- Report us!
Let's just do what we do
when work gets stressful
- more work.
- Happy St. Cthonk's Day!
[both] "May you be
ever curious!"
Oh! We give thanks
to the first Yagops,
their misshapen bodies
a necessary step
on the path to teleportation.
Thanks be to Yagop.
Mutilated for science.
Much like my brain.
- [choking]
- Klak!
[grunting]
[gasps] "Choke on the bone,
serve at its pleasure,
glory you'll own,
far beyond measure."
You know choking on the bone is
just an old superstition, right?
- I know. [chuckles]
- Do you?
Why do people teleport
on this holiday?
- [groans]
- It's so dangerous.
Well, teleporting isn't just
for fun or for living beings.
It's for shipping me
comfortable antigravity clogs
in three to five
business seconds. Oh!
- [groans]
- Oh, I did not see you there.
But I did beat the rush.
Nurse Tup,
you're our first Cthonk's Day
teleportation patient.
Honored to be
a waste of resources.
Vlam, let's get
a molecular separative drip
- started immediately
- Dr. Sleech, step away from the patient, please.
- Dr. Vlam, take over.
- What?
Why can't I treat Nurse Tup?
Because you're taking
the day off
to process
the space cruise accident.
I have to not work?
On a holiday?
Do something fun
for St. Cthonk's.
Ooh, maybe try teleporting.
[Sleech] Flim.
Can't say I'm surprised
to see you here,
former-and-future lover.
But I'm with Plowp now, so
I'm here to give Klak
a Cthonk's Day present.
- The corpse of St. Cthonk.
- [both gasp]
The GHU officially requests
you perform the autopsy.
Someone finally found his body?
Why does she have
her Spooky Eyes?
This blessed autopsy
is because of the Yagop bone.
No. The GHU mandate is to hire
a third party for transparency.
Are the conspiracy
theories true?
Did the GHU kill Cthonk?
No. We don't kill people.
We aggressively glove stun them.
Nonetheless, we need
an autopsy because yes,
- people think we murdered him.
- [chuckles]
No way Klak's
going to do this without me.
Right? Klak?
"Disregard bone
with a careless disdain,
you'll be alone,
maybe hairless, in pain."
I have to do
what the bone wants.
I guess I'll just spend
the holiday completely alone.
With my boyfriend.
[groans softly]
♪
- [screams]
- [gasps]
Oh!
[groaning]
You need to rest while this
molecular separative fluid
runs its course.
I can cover
your responsibilities.
Very cute, but no one
can do what I do.
Oh.
I have an itch, but it's
kind of inside you, so
[groans]
[straining]
[gasps]
Happy ♪
St. Cthonk's Day! ♪
[singsongy cackle]
Is this a sex dream
or a sex nightmare?
Why not both?
These are my brothers,
Growp, Mowp, Flowp and Wrnkaw.
[squawks]
We're so thrilled to welcome you
into our family, Dr. Sleech.
We can feel your deep,
deep sadness.
Is it to do
with the patient you lost?
You told them about that?
We share everything.
Even digestive salivas.
[squawks]
Your pain is so intense.
Mowp, Dr. Sleech is
a private person
who should talk about this.
We might be helpful.
We often process as a unit.
[chuckles awkwardly] Huh.
But first, presents.
The better to cook
our evening dinners.
- A new lab coat.
- I know how much yours chafes.
[gasps] Our favorite board game.
To bring our happy childhood
into our happy adulthood.
[sobbing]
[crying softly]
♪
It's cash.
- My gift is cash.
- I love cash.
Thank you. Open yours.
Yes, open your gift,
and then open
your emotions to us.
You know, I think
you should have family time.
We do need roughly 11 hours
of focused intimacy per day.
Are you sure, Dr. Sleech?
You and I could spend
some time together.
Nope, nope,
you guys should
get in your hours.
Happy St. Cthonk's Day.
Oh! Look,
one of my favorite holes.
- [fading yelling]
- [distant clatter]
[groans]
Oh!
♪
[gasps]
[groans excitedly]
St. Cthonk!
The biographies all say he had
horrible teeth
and there they are,
each one pointing
a different direction.
The GHU needs
absolute confirmation
that this is Cthonk's dead body.
You can count on me.
I've been preparing
to stick my hands
in this corpse my whole life.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
I'll see you tonight at Mom's.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
my footnotes won't
proofread themselves.
[Klak clears throat]
Dr. Klak, initiating
autopsy on St. Cthonk.
The "St." stands for scientist.
The snaggle-toothed reason
I love science.
♪
Ugh.
There appears to be
a nutrient-rich sponge
threaded into
the subject's esophagus.
According
to St. Cthonk's diaries,
he favored vine mash with peas.
[chuckles softly]
Why would a dead body need food?
Hmm. Embryonic seedlings?
Exposure to light and oxygen
seems to be catalyzing
rapid germination. [gasps]
An Ek-Vard-Ech vine.
But they're extinct.
According to the Bunork
printings of Cthonk's diaries,
Ek-Vard-Ech vines were gentle,
symbolizing peace.
[choking] Not gentle
[gasping for air]
[humming, munching]
Whoa. Whoa!
[grunts]
Whoa.
Oh, hey. Do you mind?
Oh, sorry. Whoa!
Wait
No, uh, I think
I need my TurboPod.
I got to do a thing.
[exhales slowly]
Okay.
Could you drop me
at Crunchy Screechies?
Sure.
[screeching]
- Here we are.
- Thanks.
♪
Titsky sorry!
It's Cthonk o'clock.
[lively music plays]
Yeah! [laughing]
Do you want to come
on my errand?
[grunting]
Mmm. Oh, this will be fun.
Why does your hair look weird?
Mm.
I already told you,
if you don't keep
your hand out of the way,
you're going to lose it!
Nurse Tup
- I'm concerned for your safety.
- Her safety?
I am not letting the hospital
fall apart on my watch.
Likewise, I'm also
not letting the hospital
fall apart on my watch, too
either!
It's almost as if this vine
is guarding the body.
- Successfully.
- Klak.
Hi. I can't breathe.
- [gasps]
- [Klak choking]
[grunting]
[Azel] How do we kill it?
The Ek-Vard-Ech Plant
went extinct
when the atmosphere hit
Pollution Level 26!
We need unpurified air.
The window!
[both grunting]
[coughs]
[sighs]
You're here. It's fate.
No, it's not.
I was at a black-tie
Cthonk's Day orgy
when I heard from a GHU friend
you were doing the autopsy.
An orgy? Cool.
So, here I am.
You're the only
other person I've met
who's read every
first-person account.
I love first-person accounts,
they're so poorly spelled.
Would you allow me
to scrub in with you, Dr. Klak?
I would allow you
to anything. [chuckles]
Thanks be to bone.
[sighs]
You're not going to ask me
about my sigh
and what it might mean?
What?
I've been hanging out
with Plowp too much.
[upbeat music plays]
Oh!
[lively chatter, laughter]
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
- Rides to ride!
- Injuries to tend!
[both groaning]
- Whoa! Was that involuntary?
- [groans]
Hey, Matt, Matt? You okay?
Let me look at your pupils.
Are you experiencing burning
- or tightness?
- I'm all good.
My foot slipped. Let's go!
♪
[laughs, coughs]
[player] Ow!
Darbo? Where's Darbo?
[grunts] Whoa!
[all exclaim]
[yells]
[sighs]
[laughs]
[grunts]
[maniacal laughter]
[groans]
Matt!
It's almost as if something's
trying to keep us
from doing this.
We should pause.
Assess our level of risk,
physical and professional.
You want to stop the autopsy of
St. Cthonk on St. Cthonk's Day?
The day that celebrates
curiosity and exploration?
The day the bone chose me.
It stresses me out
when your eyes get this round.
So, when did you stop
putting science first?
Excuse me?
You taught me to take risks.
I guess as we age,
we all give up a little.
[chuckles] I must have
also taught you
these excellent skills
of manipulation.
This is your surgery, Doctor.
It is, isn't it?
[radiating groans]
- Do you hear something?
- No.
[growls]
A collection tube runs
from the subject's intestine
to an organic waste compressor.
A toilet?
For old, compacted feces?
Beautiful inference, Dr. Azel.
This is fun.
A hard word for you to say.
[chuckles] I'm hard.
I mean, it's hard.
It-It's hard, to have fun
in this world, obviously.
I was looking
at Glurg's patient file again.
That parasite had such
wide-reaching possibilities.
The surgeon I used to be
might have kept the case.
Isn't that silly?
[sighing]
What if? [chuckles nervously]
What if I told you
that the parasite died,
but we've clandestinely
kept its offspring alive,
and what if I said
we desperately need your help?
There's another one?
And you didn't report it?
- I-I thought
- [growling]
[shouting]
[growling]
Aah!
It's said he let out a call
only Xargogs could hear.
- [groaning]
- They must have been called here,
at a frequency outside
our standard range!
It has to be coming from Cthonk!
[radiating groans]
- [groaning]
- [panting]
[breathing heavily]
[groans]
This limp hair indicates
something seriously wrong
with you.
Whoa!
I see you have somewhere to be.
[panting]
[Sleech] How are you
moving so fast?
I guess this is as
good a time as any
to learn how to drive.
Uh
Ha!
[coughing]
Perfect.
Oh.
[munching]
[all shivering]
[sighs of relief]
[exclaims]
♪
[panting]
No!
[grunting]
No, no, no, no, no.
[muffled groan]
[straining]
No!
Matt!
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
All right,
we're stopping this autopsy.
I'm calling the GHU.
No, we're pushing on.
Why?
If you say the word "bone"
one more time
I know it's stupid,
but when I was a kid,
I choked on the bone
and got excited,
and my mom said, "Klak, darling,
I can't condone magical thinking
in this house,"
and she made me throw it out.
Yeah, and you're fine.
Do I seem fine?
That's right when
the anxiety started.
You know that's not evidence.
That's anecdotal.
Logically, I know that,
but I still have to do this.
This was a mistake.
I shouldn't have come.
Why did you?
I obviously came for you.
You shouldn't have
kept going, Klak.
Not with this.
And not with this parasite.
I mistook you blindly
following "fate"
for being confident
and self-possessed.
But you don't make decisions.
Your anxiety makes them for you.
It's why you'll never be
a great surgeon.
And it's why we'll never work.
I'm sorry. I'm angry.
I'm going to go steal food
from the cafeteria.
I genuinely believe
I am too talented to pay.
[sighs]
Please strike the last
90 seconds, which irreparably
- devastated me to my core.
- [electronic garble]
Reviewing all
the combined elements,
the below-freezing temperature
at which the body is stored,
the nutrition dispensary,
the waste compartment,
it seems to be a
a primitive form
of cryogenic freezing.
[gasps] He's not dead.
I'm not dead!
[both yelling]
[gasping for air]
Matt.
[both] Oh!
Matt! You're hot again.
Thank you.
I feel hot again. [exhales]
The water here
always fixes my hair.
Oh, it's the water.
It must have nutrients
your species needs to survive.
Whoa.
[Sleech] Hot pod bodies.
Oh, yeah.
Family, meet Sleech.
Sleech, my family.
Your entire family
is hibernating?
Why aren't you with them?
I was.
But I got distracted
by a life-changing sunset.
I missed my one chance
to hibernate with them.
So now I just come visit
and talk to the pods.
You missed it all for a sunset?
You really do live
in the moment, don't you?
Thanks for saving me.
Yeah, thanks for almost dying.
It distracted me.
Holidays are hard.
If I'm not working,
then I have to think
about the fact
that I have nowhere to be.
I don't ever really have
a place to be either.
Almost dying with you
is the most fun
I've ever had on this holiday.
Me, too.
[zapping]
[sizzling]
Why am I awake?
I should be frozen.
- [chuckles nervously]
- How did you get past my traps?
Traps? I'm so sorry.
I'm Dr. Karpo Klakkerot.
Dr. Klak for short.
I'm performing your autopsy.
We can just put what's outside
back in your insides.
You're my hero.
I'm sorry
I took your body apart.
I'm your hero?
Does this mean
people don't think
I'm a sick, twisted monster?
What? No.
You're famous
for inventing teleportation
and then disappearing
without a trace.
[Cthonk laughing]
[cackles]
I've escaped the fury
of the villagers and the GHU.
The GHU?
GHU almost ruined everything.
They tried to constrain me.
The mind of a generation.
So I froze myself to wait
until civilization collapsed.
But it appears you woke me up
a couple years early.
[Klak] Why were they trying
to constrain you?
You're brilliant.
So a few kids wound up
with yo-yos for eyeballs
and tentacles for arms.
That's science, baby!
You hurt kids?
For science?
Exactly. For science.
Exploration at any cost.
You get me.
I know that look in your eyes.
I have it, too.
You and me, we're the same.
Wow. I smell.
This isn't
in any of your diaries.
If it's done right, science
is shameful and disgusting.
St. Cthonk, we ask
that you come with us.
Where are you taking me?
In the year 12,009,
you committed
terrible acts
in the name of science.
You're under arrest.
[grunting]
We really should have seen
that one coming.
So the GHU was after Cthonk.
I'd appreciate it
if you didn't let this get out.
I guess it's true what they say.
Don't unfreeze your heroes.
[playful cackling, giggles]
Ooh?
Brothers, please. I would like
a moment alone with Dr. Sleech.
[all squawk]
Forgive me for earlier.
Our species is used to
a ridiculous level of closeness.
I am not.
I know.
I like the way you are.
Oh. Open my gift.
I know how much you enjoy
watching other doctors
be less good at surgery
than you.
It's amazing.
I have to break up with you.
- [all gasp]
- [Plowp] Wow.
Okay. I did not see that coming.
And that's rare for me.
I can't give you
gifts like this.
I am not thoughtful,
and I am not good at talking
or-or feeling,
or-or prolonged eye contact.
I see.
I can feel that you're
How do I phrase this?
Do you think you're afraid
of a deeper connection?
Uh, of course I am.
Breaking up is a great solution.
Do you want these back?
No, please, keep it
with my affection.
Take Dr. Klak.
I hope you get something
emotionally satisfying
with my cash.
Okey doke. Bye-bye.
[squawky sobbing]
You did a good job today, Vlam.
Most people are
shamelessly stupid,
and well,
your stupidity has shame.
Thank you.
I heard you were working
with an embedded teleport.
We couldn't do what we do
without you.
I know, I deserve more.
I need a raise, Florky.
But you love it here.
You'd never leave.
Yeah, you're basically trapped.
Ha-ha! Bye.
[groans]
Oh, good. Listen to this.
I actually kind of need
Cthonk is a horrible monster,
and I just helped him escape.
Also, Azel did
what Azel does best.
Broke my heart.
I know I've said this before,
but this is it.
I'm done for real
this time, okay?
I don't want Azel in my life.
They're toxic.
You wouldn't believe
how patronizing Azel was
- about Larvin.
- You told Azel about Larvin?
[sighs] We needed help,
and I thought that Azel
You told them?
Don't you get it?
If you fail, you have
so much to fall back on.
This experiment and this career
is all I have.
You just threw that away
for the off chance
that Azel flirts with you.
Y-Your fixations are
out of control
the bone, Azel
Of course this isn't the last
time you'll talk about Azel.
It never is.
It's exhausting, Klak.
You're right.
Klak, wait.
Now I have the magic bone.
Now all the good things
will happen to me.
[buzzing]
Oh.
[gasps, groans]
Whoa.
♪
[munching]
This is the ballad
of Cthonk
[choking]
Oh, you got the bone.
Long time!
Want to meet at our spot
off the grid?
Can you bring some money
and pants?
We used to date.
[singing, laughter continue]
And a promise to explore ♪
[squawking]
Soon you'll be walking
shore to shore ♪♪
[electronic blipping]
[Sleech] It's exhausting, Klak.
[Azel] It's why
you'll never be great.
[Cthonk] We're the same.
- [Azel] It's why
- [Sleech] It's exhausting
[Cthonk] We're the same.
[Azel] It's why
you'll never be great.
[Sleech] It's exhausting, Klak.
[chaotic voices overlapping]
[Sleech] It's exhausting, Klak.
Why do you say
the things you say?
[Klak] No.
[voices stop]
♪
♪
Chirp.
♪
[playful chattering]
Hey, where's my
St. Cthonk's hat?
[Nerlo] Okay, kids,
who wants to hear
the story of St. Cthonk?
[grunts]
"Cthonk was a person
with no small reputation
for he's hailed as the genius
who found teleportation."
Ah-ha-ha!
"He tested on Yagops,
broken, twisted, and dripping
as he perfected the science
that brought us
very fast shipping."
[gasps]
[groans]
Huh?
"It was shocking to all
when Cthonk disappeared.
It's said he let out a call
only Xargogs could hear.
Did the GHU get him,
blink him out of existence?
Or did he take a vacation
at his Xargog's insistence?
All records were lost
though no one knows why.
But from what we do know,
he was a really great guy."
[exclaims]
"There are whispers he died,
and was buried, all rotty.
So we seek out the proof,
and dig for his dead body.
May you choke on a bone,
and find fate at your door.
But above all, as Cthonk did"
[all exclaim]
"may you always explore."
[crackling]
♪
[Klak] Even you have to admit
we're stuck.
What if we ask for help
with Larvin Jr.?
If we tell them
it's for medicine,
- the Florks might actually
- Report us!
Let's just do what we do
when work gets stressful
- more work.
- Happy St. Cthonk's Day!
[both] "May you be
ever curious!"
Oh! We give thanks
to the first Yagops,
their misshapen bodies
a necessary step
on the path to teleportation.
Thanks be to Yagop.
Mutilated for science.
Much like my brain.
- [choking]
- Klak!
[grunting]
[gasps] "Choke on the bone,
serve at its pleasure,
glory you'll own,
far beyond measure."
You know choking on the bone is
just an old superstition, right?
- I know. [chuckles]
- Do you?
Why do people teleport
on this holiday?
- [groans]
- It's so dangerous.
Well, teleporting isn't just
for fun or for living beings.
It's for shipping me
comfortable antigravity clogs
in three to five
business seconds. Oh!
- [groans]
- Oh, I did not see you there.
But I did beat the rush.
Nurse Tup,
you're our first Cthonk's Day
teleportation patient.
Honored to be
a waste of resources.
Vlam, let's get
a molecular separative drip
- started immediately
- Dr. Sleech, step away from the patient, please.
- Dr. Vlam, take over.
- What?
Why can't I treat Nurse Tup?
Because you're taking
the day off
to process
the space cruise accident.
I have to not work?
On a holiday?
Do something fun
for St. Cthonk's.
Ooh, maybe try teleporting.
[Sleech] Flim.
Can't say I'm surprised
to see you here,
former-and-future lover.
But I'm with Plowp now, so
I'm here to give Klak
a Cthonk's Day present.
- The corpse of St. Cthonk.
- [both gasp]
The GHU officially requests
you perform the autopsy.
Someone finally found his body?
Why does she have
her Spooky Eyes?
This blessed autopsy
is because of the Yagop bone.
No. The GHU mandate is to hire
a third party for transparency.
Are the conspiracy
theories true?
Did the GHU kill Cthonk?
No. We don't kill people.
We aggressively glove stun them.
Nonetheless, we need
an autopsy because yes,
- people think we murdered him.
- [chuckles]
No way Klak's
going to do this without me.
Right? Klak?
"Disregard bone
with a careless disdain,
you'll be alone,
maybe hairless, in pain."
I have to do
what the bone wants.
I guess I'll just spend
the holiday completely alone.
With my boyfriend.
[groans softly]
♪
- [screams]
- [gasps]
Oh!
[groaning]
You need to rest while this
molecular separative fluid
runs its course.
I can cover
your responsibilities.
Very cute, but no one
can do what I do.
Oh.
I have an itch, but it's
kind of inside you, so
[groans]
[straining]
[gasps]
Happy ♪
St. Cthonk's Day! ♪
[singsongy cackle]
Is this a sex dream
or a sex nightmare?
Why not both?
These are my brothers,
Growp, Mowp, Flowp and Wrnkaw.
[squawks]
We're so thrilled to welcome you
into our family, Dr. Sleech.
We can feel your deep,
deep sadness.
Is it to do
with the patient you lost?
You told them about that?
We share everything.
Even digestive salivas.
[squawks]
Your pain is so intense.
Mowp, Dr. Sleech is
a private person
who should talk about this.
We might be helpful.
We often process as a unit.
[chuckles awkwardly] Huh.
But first, presents.
The better to cook
our evening dinners.
- A new lab coat.
- I know how much yours chafes.
[gasps] Our favorite board game.
To bring our happy childhood
into our happy adulthood.
[sobbing]
[crying softly]
♪
It's cash.
- My gift is cash.
- I love cash.
Thank you. Open yours.
Yes, open your gift,
and then open
your emotions to us.
You know, I think
you should have family time.
We do need roughly 11 hours
of focused intimacy per day.
Are you sure, Dr. Sleech?
You and I could spend
some time together.
Nope, nope,
you guys should
get in your hours.
Happy St. Cthonk's Day.
Oh! Look,
one of my favorite holes.
- [fading yelling]
- [distant clatter]
[groans]
Oh!
♪
[gasps]
[groans excitedly]
St. Cthonk!
The biographies all say he had
horrible teeth
and there they are,
each one pointing
a different direction.
The GHU needs
absolute confirmation
that this is Cthonk's dead body.
You can count on me.
I've been preparing
to stick my hands
in this corpse my whole life.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
I'll see you tonight at Mom's.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
my footnotes won't
proofread themselves.
[Klak clears throat]
Dr. Klak, initiating
autopsy on St. Cthonk.
The "St." stands for scientist.
The snaggle-toothed reason
I love science.
♪
Ugh.
There appears to be
a nutrient-rich sponge
threaded into
the subject's esophagus.
According
to St. Cthonk's diaries,
he favored vine mash with peas.
[chuckles softly]
Why would a dead body need food?
Hmm. Embryonic seedlings?
Exposure to light and oxygen
seems to be catalyzing
rapid germination. [gasps]
An Ek-Vard-Ech vine.
But they're extinct.
According to the Bunork
printings of Cthonk's diaries,
Ek-Vard-Ech vines were gentle,
symbolizing peace.
[choking] Not gentle
[gasping for air]
[humming, munching]
Whoa. Whoa!
[grunts]
Whoa.
Oh, hey. Do you mind?
Oh, sorry. Whoa!
Wait
No, uh, I think
I need my TurboPod.
I got to do a thing.
[exhales slowly]
Okay.
Could you drop me
at Crunchy Screechies?
Sure.
[screeching]
- Here we are.
- Thanks.
♪
Titsky sorry!
It's Cthonk o'clock.
[lively music plays]
Yeah! [laughing]
Do you want to come
on my errand?
[grunting]
Mmm. Oh, this will be fun.
Why does your hair look weird?
Mm.
I already told you,
if you don't keep
your hand out of the way,
you're going to lose it!
Nurse Tup
- I'm concerned for your safety.
- Her safety?
I am not letting the hospital
fall apart on my watch.
Likewise, I'm also
not letting the hospital
fall apart on my watch, too
either!
It's almost as if this vine
is guarding the body.
- Successfully.
- Klak.
Hi. I can't breathe.
- [gasps]
- [Klak choking]
[grunting]
[Azel] How do we kill it?
The Ek-Vard-Ech Plant
went extinct
when the atmosphere hit
Pollution Level 26!
We need unpurified air.
The window!
[both grunting]
[coughs]
[sighs]
You're here. It's fate.
No, it's not.
I was at a black-tie
Cthonk's Day orgy
when I heard from a GHU friend
you were doing the autopsy.
An orgy? Cool.
So, here I am.
You're the only
other person I've met
who's read every
first-person account.
I love first-person accounts,
they're so poorly spelled.
Would you allow me
to scrub in with you, Dr. Klak?
I would allow you
to anything. [chuckles]
Thanks be to bone.
[sighs]
You're not going to ask me
about my sigh
and what it might mean?
What?
I've been hanging out
with Plowp too much.
[upbeat music plays]
Oh!
[lively chatter, laughter]
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
- Rides to ride!
- Injuries to tend!
[both groaning]
- Whoa! Was that involuntary?
- [groans]
Hey, Matt, Matt? You okay?
Let me look at your pupils.
Are you experiencing burning
- or tightness?
- I'm all good.
My foot slipped. Let's go!
♪
[laughs, coughs]
[player] Ow!
Darbo? Where's Darbo?
[grunts] Whoa!
[all exclaim]
[yells]
[sighs]
[laughs]
[grunts]
[maniacal laughter]
[groans]
Matt!
It's almost as if something's
trying to keep us
from doing this.
We should pause.
Assess our level of risk,
physical and professional.
You want to stop the autopsy of
St. Cthonk on St. Cthonk's Day?
The day that celebrates
curiosity and exploration?
The day the bone chose me.
It stresses me out
when your eyes get this round.
So, when did you stop
putting science first?
Excuse me?
You taught me to take risks.
I guess as we age,
we all give up a little.
[chuckles] I must have
also taught you
these excellent skills
of manipulation.
This is your surgery, Doctor.
It is, isn't it?
[radiating groans]
- Do you hear something?
- No.
[growls]
A collection tube runs
from the subject's intestine
to an organic waste compressor.
A toilet?
For old, compacted feces?
Beautiful inference, Dr. Azel.
This is fun.
A hard word for you to say.
[chuckles] I'm hard.
I mean, it's hard.
It-It's hard, to have fun
in this world, obviously.
I was looking
at Glurg's patient file again.
That parasite had such
wide-reaching possibilities.
The surgeon I used to be
might have kept the case.
Isn't that silly?
[sighing]
What if? [chuckles nervously]
What if I told you
that the parasite died,
but we've clandestinely
kept its offspring alive,
and what if I said
we desperately need your help?
There's another one?
And you didn't report it?
- I-I thought
- [growling]
[shouting]
[growling]
Aah!
It's said he let out a call
only Xargogs could hear.
- [groaning]
- They must have been called here,
at a frequency outside
our standard range!
It has to be coming from Cthonk!
[radiating groans]
- [groaning]
- [panting]
[breathing heavily]
[groans]
This limp hair indicates
something seriously wrong
with you.
Whoa!
I see you have somewhere to be.
[panting]
[Sleech] How are you
moving so fast?
I guess this is as
good a time as any
to learn how to drive.
Uh
Ha!
[coughing]
Perfect.
Oh.
[munching]
[all shivering]
[sighs of relief]
[exclaims]
♪
[panting]
No!
[grunting]
No, no, no, no, no.
[muffled groan]
[straining]
No!
Matt!
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
All right,
we're stopping this autopsy.
I'm calling the GHU.
No, we're pushing on.
Why?
If you say the word "bone"
one more time
I know it's stupid,
but when I was a kid,
I choked on the bone
and got excited,
and my mom said, "Klak, darling,
I can't condone magical thinking
in this house,"
and she made me throw it out.
Yeah, and you're fine.
Do I seem fine?
That's right when
the anxiety started.
You know that's not evidence.
That's anecdotal.
Logically, I know that,
but I still have to do this.
This was a mistake.
I shouldn't have come.
Why did you?
I obviously came for you.
You shouldn't have
kept going, Klak.
Not with this.
And not with this parasite.
I mistook you blindly
following "fate"
for being confident
and self-possessed.
But you don't make decisions.
Your anxiety makes them for you.
It's why you'll never be
a great surgeon.
And it's why we'll never work.
I'm sorry. I'm angry.
I'm going to go steal food
from the cafeteria.
I genuinely believe
I am too talented to pay.
[sighs]
Please strike the last
90 seconds, which irreparably
- devastated me to my core.
- [electronic garble]
Reviewing all
the combined elements,
the below-freezing temperature
at which the body is stored,
the nutrition dispensary,
the waste compartment,
it seems to be a
a primitive form
of cryogenic freezing.
[gasps] He's not dead.
I'm not dead!
[both yelling]
[gasping for air]
Matt.
[both] Oh!
Matt! You're hot again.
Thank you.
I feel hot again. [exhales]
The water here
always fixes my hair.
Oh, it's the water.
It must have nutrients
your species needs to survive.
Whoa.
[Sleech] Hot pod bodies.
Oh, yeah.
Family, meet Sleech.
Sleech, my family.
Your entire family
is hibernating?
Why aren't you with them?
I was.
But I got distracted
by a life-changing sunset.
I missed my one chance
to hibernate with them.
So now I just come visit
and talk to the pods.
You missed it all for a sunset?
You really do live
in the moment, don't you?
Thanks for saving me.
Yeah, thanks for almost dying.
It distracted me.
Holidays are hard.
If I'm not working,
then I have to think
about the fact
that I have nowhere to be.
I don't ever really have
a place to be either.
Almost dying with you
is the most fun
I've ever had on this holiday.
Me, too.
[zapping]
[sizzling]
Why am I awake?
I should be frozen.
- [chuckles nervously]
- How did you get past my traps?
Traps? I'm so sorry.
I'm Dr. Karpo Klakkerot.
Dr. Klak for short.
I'm performing your autopsy.
We can just put what's outside
back in your insides.
You're my hero.
I'm sorry
I took your body apart.
I'm your hero?
Does this mean
people don't think
I'm a sick, twisted monster?
What? No.
You're famous
for inventing teleportation
and then disappearing
without a trace.
[Cthonk laughing]
[cackles]
I've escaped the fury
of the villagers and the GHU.
The GHU?
GHU almost ruined everything.
They tried to constrain me.
The mind of a generation.
So I froze myself to wait
until civilization collapsed.
But it appears you woke me up
a couple years early.
[Klak] Why were they trying
to constrain you?
You're brilliant.
So a few kids wound up
with yo-yos for eyeballs
and tentacles for arms.
That's science, baby!
You hurt kids?
For science?
Exactly. For science.
Exploration at any cost.
You get me.
I know that look in your eyes.
I have it, too.
You and me, we're the same.
Wow. I smell.
This isn't
in any of your diaries.
If it's done right, science
is shameful and disgusting.
St. Cthonk, we ask
that you come with us.
Where are you taking me?
In the year 12,009,
you committed
terrible acts
in the name of science.
You're under arrest.
[grunting]
We really should have seen
that one coming.
So the GHU was after Cthonk.
I'd appreciate it
if you didn't let this get out.
I guess it's true what they say.
Don't unfreeze your heroes.
[playful cackling, giggles]
Ooh?
Brothers, please. I would like
a moment alone with Dr. Sleech.
[all squawk]
Forgive me for earlier.
Our species is used to
a ridiculous level of closeness.
I am not.
I know.
I like the way you are.
Oh. Open my gift.
I know how much you enjoy
watching other doctors
be less good at surgery
than you.
It's amazing.
I have to break up with you.
- [all gasp]
- [Plowp] Wow.
Okay. I did not see that coming.
And that's rare for me.
I can't give you
gifts like this.
I am not thoughtful,
and I am not good at talking
or-or feeling,
or-or prolonged eye contact.
I see.
I can feel that you're
How do I phrase this?
Do you think you're afraid
of a deeper connection?
Uh, of course I am.
Breaking up is a great solution.
Do you want these back?
No, please, keep it
with my affection.
Take Dr. Klak.
I hope you get something
emotionally satisfying
with my cash.
Okey doke. Bye-bye.
[squawky sobbing]
You did a good job today, Vlam.
Most people are
shamelessly stupid,
and well,
your stupidity has shame.
Thank you.
I heard you were working
with an embedded teleport.
We couldn't do what we do
without you.
I know, I deserve more.
I need a raise, Florky.
But you love it here.
You'd never leave.
Yeah, you're basically trapped.
Ha-ha! Bye.
[groans]
Oh, good. Listen to this.
I actually kind of need
Cthonk is a horrible monster,
and I just helped him escape.
Also, Azel did
what Azel does best.
Broke my heart.
I know I've said this before,
but this is it.
I'm done for real
this time, okay?
I don't want Azel in my life.
They're toxic.
You wouldn't believe
how patronizing Azel was
- about Larvin.
- You told Azel about Larvin?
[sighs] We needed help,
and I thought that Azel
You told them?
Don't you get it?
If you fail, you have
so much to fall back on.
This experiment and this career
is all I have.
You just threw that away
for the off chance
that Azel flirts with you.
Y-Your fixations are
out of control
the bone, Azel
Of course this isn't the last
time you'll talk about Azel.
It never is.
It's exhausting, Klak.
You're right.
Klak, wait.
Now I have the magic bone.
Now all the good things
will happen to me.
[buzzing]
Oh.
[gasps, groans]
Whoa.
♪
[munching]
This is the ballad
of Cthonk
[choking]
Oh, you got the bone.
Long time!
Want to meet at our spot
off the grid?
Can you bring some money
and pants?
We used to date.
[singing, laughter continue]
And a promise to explore ♪
[squawking]
Soon you'll be walking
shore to shore ♪♪
[electronic blipping]
[Sleech] It's exhausting, Klak.
[Azel] It's why
you'll never be great.
[Cthonk] We're the same.
- [Azel] It's why
- [Sleech] It's exhausting
[Cthonk] We're the same.
[Azel] It's why
you'll never be great.
[Sleech] It's exhausting, Klak.
[chaotic voices overlapping]
[Sleech] It's exhausting, Klak.
Why do you say
the things you say?
[Klak] No.
[voices stop]
♪
♪
Chirp.