The Spiderwick Chronicles (2024) s01e06 Episode Script

1028 Teeth

-(grunts) -We have 10,000
signatures! That's enough to get
a hearing
signatures! That's enough to get
a hearing
at the next city council meeting
and I will shut you down!
DORIAN:Everyone in
Henson
will take a nice, long
nap.
will take a nice, long
nap.
Lady Spiderwick, it's an honor.
I don't have time to waste.
I need to purchase a favor.
I need to purchase a favor.
I need to find the Goblin
Market.
My son ran away and I don't know
what's going on.
My son ran away and I don't know
what's going on.
SIMON: I came all the way
to New York to see you.
You have to tell him the truth.
Parenting is not my I'm not,
I'm not built for it.
Wait, you knew about this, Mom?
Calliope, is my brother going to
die?
Calliope, is my brother going to
die?
Yes. I want you to look at me.
To see who I really am.
SIMON: I think you're beautiful.
SIMON: I think you're beautiful.
Help me save Jared.
(laughter echoing)
THIMBLETACK: Mulgarath
wants Spiderwick's page
THIMBLETACK: Mulgarath
wants Spiderwick's page
on dragons.It's
hidden here in the house.
I haven't been there for my
brothers, for my family.
I haven't been there for my
brothers, for my family.
Can you make me better?
Point, Mallory.
You've struck me in the heart.
I will tell you
everything.
THIMBLETACK:The
people you love
will always leave you.
will always leave you.
■ ■
(low growling)
(roaring echoes)
(roaring echoes)
■ ■
JARED: "When night
"blooms
"blooms
a cure."
Evening primrose only blooms at
night
and has healing properties.
and has healing properties.
So
so come on, Emiko.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Please.
(Jared panting)
(Jared panting)
(sighs)
(sighs)
(scoffs) That's my hoodie.
That's a nice way to say hello.
Give me one reason why I
shouldn't
Give me one reason why I
shouldn't
punch you in your dumb face
again.
-Because I'm your brother. -No.
Y-You're with them.
Y-You're with them.
Calliope is my friend.
Emiko is your friend, too.
And she can't wake up because
the ogre
And she can't wake up because
the ogre
is raising dragons
to poison the whole town and eat
everybody!
-(scoffs) -He's manipulating
you, Simon.
-(scoffs) -He's manipulating
you, Simon.
-What? -All of you!
He kissed mom and now
you're staying on a pullout sofa
in his guest room
-like it's a damn sleepover!
-Listen, you don't know the
truth, okay?
Mom and Dad lied to me.
All right? To us.
I mean, I can't go home and
smile and eat
I mean, I can't go home and
smile and eat
mac and cheese like everything
is kosher.
Stings, doesn't it?
Hmm? Being betrayed
by people you love.
I'm trying to save your life.
I'm trying to save your life.
Look, Mulgarath hasn't lied to
me.
Look, Mulgarath hasn't lied to
me.
He can't.
I know what I'm doing.
Simon
Whatever.
NARRATOR: The hero's
journeyis never
easy.
I warned youthis is a
dark fairy tale.
I warned youthis is a
dark fairy tale.
And like all fairy tales,
things grow darker
as we near the end.
as we near the end.
■ ■
VALENTINA: The vorpal sword,
it's an enchanted weapon.
It's the only thing that can
kill an ogre.
One stab through the heart
will cleave him from this world.
Yeah, my-my mom
used to tell bedtime stories
about the sword.
A blade forged
from the entropy of a comet's
tail.
BREE: And the lament of lost
wars.
BREE: And the lament of lost
wars.
My mom told me bedtime stories,
too.
I still don't understand.
I mean, you're far more skilled
than either of us.
I mean, you're far more skilled
than either of us.
I fought the monster at your
great-aunt's appeal,
but I lost both hands
and much, much more.
Uh, Lucinda wanted you to kill
the ogre?
Have you ever heard that
Have you ever heard that
if you catch a fairy, they have
to grant you a wish?
You're a fairy?
Half naiad, half human.
A strega of sorts, a witch.
But Lucinda,
But Lucinda,
as vibrant as she was,
she captured my heart, and so I
could not refuse
she captured my heart, and so I
could not refuse
her wish to slay Mulgarath.
But I failed.
So now I'm oath-bound.
I'm shackled to Henson until
Mulgarath is dead.
Since Valentina can't kill
Mulgarath,
Since Valentina can't kill
Mulgarath,
she's training us to do it.
VALENTINA: I can't hold the
sword, I'm half-magic.
VALENTINA: I can't hold the
sword, I'm half-magic.
And only a pure human
with pure intent
can wield the vorpal sword.
(scoffs) I leave that little bit
of milk in the carton
and put it back in the fridge.
I'm hardly pure.
and put it back in the fridge.
I'm hardly pure.
You wouldn't be here if you
weren't deserving.
I've honed young women into
warriors,
I've honed young women into
warriors,
all of whom had the potential
for greatness.
But, unfortunately, no one has
been able to find the sword.
So what happened to those girls?
So what happened to those girls?
Mulgarath happened.
He killed them all.
(Bree sighs)
-MALLORY: Bree. -VALENTINA: Let
her go.
-(door opens) -We are each the
hero
-(door opens) -We are each the
hero
-of our own story. -(door
closes)
Bree's grappling with her
journey, but
Bree's grappling with her
journey, but
what will they write
about you, Mallory?
MALLORY:Jared?
Where are you? I know you're in
here.
I can smell the boy stench
of pimento cheese and
insecurity.
(Thimbletack laughing)
Eat liquid iron!
-Burn, you creature! Burn!
-(screams) Stop! Stop!
You're staining my favorite
shirt, you sentient fart!
Jared, maybe she's not a faery
spy.
She sounds a ton like your
sister.
Mm-mm, no way.
Mm-mm, no way.
Mallory never wants to talk to
me.
She treats me like I'm a plague.
Look.
Look.
I need your help to find the
vorpal sword.
It's the only weapon that can
kill Mulgarath.
Double reverse psychology is
such a Mulgarath-y tactic!
Double reverse psychology is
such a Mulgarath-y tactic!
Whoa! Careful! You almost got it
on me.
Jared, you know I have body
dysmorphia
Jared, you know I have body
dysmorphia
and major sensory issues.
And the iron isn't working on
her, dumdum.
(Thimbletack laughing)
(Thimbletack laughing)
How the hell are you even doing
this?
Apologize.
And I might
And I might
-let -Jared!
-you go. -Stop.
(exhales) You know, gloating is
gross.
(exhales) You know, gloating is
gross.
-And small. -You look at me like
you want me dead.
It's just resting-sibling face.
No.
No.
You've never been there for me.
Never.
Not in Brooklyn, not when I need
you most.
So tell me
why should I help you, huh?
Superglue?
-(exclaiming) -Stop doing that,
-whatever you are. -No, no,
let Thimbletack go! You're gonna
hurt him!
let Thimbletack go! You're gonna
hurt him!
This thing that ruined my hair?
No.
I should put him in the
microwave.
I can feel my spleen! Okay.
I can feel my spleen! Okay.
-You asked for it! (laughs)
-(Mallory gasps)
(scampering footfalls)
You know what, I thought that
you could help me
find the vorpal sword. My
mistake.
You're so paranoid.
You're so paranoid.
Jared, it's lonely
when they think you're crazy
when they think you're crazy
and you know you're not.
-Sucks. -Mm-hmm.
Jared, you can't tell or trust
anyone.
Jared, you can't tell or trust
anyone.
But I procured
a treasure from the Goblin
Market.
a treasure from the Goblin
Market.
They sell dreams by the pound.
And trade nightmares.
You can buy swart-headed
mulberries
and bright-fire-like barberries.
The dread minotaur's horn
and the ephemeral
vorpal sword.
vorpal sword.
(stammers)
No, no, this-this didn't happen.
No, no, this-this didn't happen.
You-you took out a Hot Pocket
and a seeing stone,
but you didn't mention a vorpal
sword.
Careful, child.
Careful, child.
Gold and coin won't help you,
the Goblin Market extracts its
payment
in body and soul.
I know where the vorpal sword
is.
Lucinda told me.
Lucinda told me.
I think it's in the Goblin
Market which is somehow
connected to Nielsen's.
Okay. Excellent. Amazing.
If we do this,
you have to do everything I say.
you have to do everything I say.
-(scoffs) -For the first time
ever, you,
Mallory Grace, have to listen to
me.
Mallory Grace, have to listen to
me.
You know, just because you're
pissed at Simon
doesn't mean you have to be a
prick.
Yeah, well, you're no hero,
either.
Let's pack up and go.
(quietly): Simon already stabbed
you in the back.
Maybe keep your eye on that
Hatcher.
He was acting all sketchy about
the iron.
This is war, Jare-bear. You
can't trust anyone.
I, uh, I put your laptop charger
in the side pocket.
And some Claritin in case the
pollen gets heavy.
And some Claritin in case the
pollen gets heavy.
I love you so much and I'm s--
I love you so much and I'm s--
Mom, can we not do this right
now?
(sighs) I know it's hard, but
You know, it takes someone very
brave.
Give him some time.
Give him some time.
Allow him to process.
We're so lucky to have you.
Well, the feeling is very
mutual.
-Mmm. -Mmm.
Mmm. You're Jared's therapist
and my boss,
Mmm. You're Jared's therapist
and my boss,
and Lisa in HR has been super
clear
and Lisa in HR has been super
clear
about work relationships, and
the city council meeting about
Meskwaki is today,
so, maybe we shouldn't kiss.
-Should or shouldn't?
-(chuckles)
Oh, that's, uh, very pragmatic.
Oh, that's, uh, very pragmatic.
-(laughs) -Yeah.
I'll see you at city council?
Can't wait.
Can't wait.
Okay.
(door opens, closes)
Ah. Someone is a smitten kitten.
Watch yourself, Little Fetch.
We're on ice so thin, we're
practically a margarita.
We're on ice so thin, we're
practically a margarita.
Something's wrong with the
dragons.
Something's wrong with the
dragons.
They're dying.
I can feel it.
CALLIOPE: See? The twins aren't
eating.
You are remarkably courageous.
You are remarkably courageous.
I'm not scared of dragons.
Or ogres.
SIMON: Lucinda said you wanted
the Field Guide
SIMON: Lucinda said you wanted
the Field Guide
so you can kill everyone.
What happened to the real Dr.
Brauer?
I know you can't lie.
I want the Field Guide
to help the magical creatures
to help the magical creatures
your great grandfather
chronicled.
Lucinda hid them from me.
She blamed me for Arthur's
disappearance,
which I had nothing to do with.
She only ever saw me as the ugly
ogre of lore.
She only ever saw me as the ugly
ogre of lore.
I used Dr. Brauer to convince
your mother
to come here so you could help
me put the Field Guide together.
It's always been about you,
Simon.
It's always been about you,
Simon.
Jared found most of these pages,
though.
-But you know what to do with
them. -Right.
-But you know what to do with
them. -Right.
CALLIOPE: We can translate the
pages
and care for the creatures.
(scoffs) Yeah.
(scoffs) Yeah.
Well, you still didn't answer my
question.
Dorian was eaten by the troll.
-He was trying to help me. -Hmm.
I I blame myself.
Their-their deaths are my fault,
Their-their deaths are my fault,
but I'm desperate.
Like these dragons, we are on
the verge of extinction.
Like these dragons, we are on
the verge of extinction.
Our-our homes paved over.
Relegated to living in the
shadows.
We are fighting for our very
survival.
We're all creatures of the
world,
and they will die without your
help, Simon.
and they will die without your
help, Simon.
Jared has Spiderwick's dragon
page,
and if I can get it,
and if I can get it,
then we'll know what they really
eat and how to keep them alive.
I'm counting on you to do the
right thing.
I can't do this without you
son.
(knocking)
-Hey. -Hey.
You're, uh, training a lot these
days.
You're, uh, training a lot these
days.
-Yeah, got to keep sharp, you
know? -Mm-hmm.
En garde! Pr■ts? Allez!
En garde! Pr■ts? Allez!
(laughs) And, uh, who are you
dueling?
Mm. Gonna save Meskwaki
Mm. Gonna save Meskwaki
from Tanner and gentrification.
Ooh, Mama, no, not in those
basic pumps and raggedy feet.
Ooh, Mama, no, not in those
basic pumps and raggedy feet.
-Come on! -What?! My feet
Here. Wear mine.
Well, these don't go with my
suit.
Well, these don't go with my
suit.
Trust me, they really, really
do.
-Try them on. -(sighs)
I'm, uh, sorry it's all has been
such a blah.
Yeah, you know, "blah" seems to
be our new normal, so
Nothing's gone the way I hoped.
All this drama is so
distracting.
I haven't I haven't even been
there for you.
How are you doing?
How are you doing?
-Are you okay? -Yeah.
Yeah, I'm al I'm always okay.
It's okay if you're not okay.
It's okay if you're not okay.
Am I a good person? (laughs
softly)
Honey
Honey
you are an incredible,
smart, talented and
smart, talented and
"I don't even know what else to
say
because I am in constant awe of
you" person.
because I am in constant awe of
you" person.
I'm going to make you proud.
I'm going to makeyou
proud.
■ ■
All right. The Goblin Market is
hidden somewhere in here.
Let's get hunting hunters.
(soft music playing)
(soft music playing)
Dweebs.
WOMAN (over P.A.):BJ,
cleanup in aisle two.
BJ, I need youfor
cleanup in aisle two.
BJ, I need youfor
cleanup in aisle two.
Goblin Flakes have riboflavin
and marshmallows,
-but no vorpal sword. -How did
you know to come here?
I've been doing this a lot
longer than you have.
Why did you run off like that?
Why did you run off like that?
I thought we were doing this
together.
This isn't your fight.
I get it, okay?
I get it, okay?
You're upset about Chris and the
sleeping disease.
No, you don't know me.
Whose fault is that?
Whose fault is that?
Only one of us can wield the
sword.
-This isn't a competition, Bree.
-Everything is a competition.
JARED (over P.A.):
Mallory to the deli
counter,please.
Mallory to the deli
counter.
This is Hubert.
He knows Lucinda, and
he'll take us to the Goblin
Market.
He looks like he makes video
game tutorials
in his mom's basement.
It's my cousin's basement,
and my videos are fire,
and my videos are fire,
-thank you very much. -Oh.
(chops loudly)
-He's totally gonna kill us.
-Yeah.
The Goblin Market trades in life
and death, child.
And they have pumpkin spice
lattes all year round,
but we have no time to waste.
but we have no time to waste.
Because the Goblin Market
magically moves
every day like Krull?
Because I only have a 20-minute
break.
Because I only have a 20-minute
break.
NARRATOR:The next
step in the journey
is the Threshold
Guardian
Grab a loaf of bread and follow
me.
NARRATOR:who takes
our herofrom the world
they've known
straight into the heart
of the unknown.
Hey. He seems dangerous.
Well, too bad, Mallory. You're
not in charge.
Well, too bad, Mallory. You're
not in charge.
Now grab some bread and come on!
(running footfalls)
Okay, should I take focaccia or
rosemary ciabatta?
Okay, should I take focaccia or
rosemary ciabatta?
(door squeaks closed)
Guys?
Guys?
(sighs)
Welcome to the last refuge
for magical creatures in
Michigan.
-(birds singing) -Wait.
We're still in Henson?
We're in the alley outside
Nielsen's.
How has no one ever found this
place?
You have Lady
Spiderwick's warrior spirit.
You have Lady
Spiderwick's warrior spirit.
We cast glamours to make sure
no one wanders into these
hallowed grounds.
no one wanders into these
hallowed grounds.
And these enchantments are not
only outside, they're in.
If we don't Hansel-and-Gretel
our path,
If we don't Hansel-and-Gretel
our path,
we could get lost forever.
Forever and ever. (chuckles
softly)
Forever and ever. (chuckles
softly)
-(gavel bangs)
-WOMAN:And now the
representatives
from Meskwaki will speak.
The Meskwaki Hospital has been
an essential part
The Meskwaki Hospital has been
an essential part
of Henson for 150 years,
providing vital counseling and
social rehabilitation services.
providing vital counseling and
social rehabilitation services.
It's already been the victim of
national budget cuts--
going from 500 beds to just 50.
going from 500 beds to just 50.
My grandson, Hatcher,
has severe body dysmorphia,
has severe body dysmorphia,
and he won't take off his robot
helmet.
and he won't take off his robot
helmet.
Because of Dr. Brauer, for the
first time,
I've actually seen him smile.
I've actually seen him smile.
Thank you, Barbara.
Meskwaki treats all kinds of
issues.
Issues we've ignored.
Issues we've ignored.
People we've stigmatized for
generations.
It has to stop.
It has to stop.
Our loved ones need to be seen
and heard,
instead of pretending there
isn't a problem.
instead of pretending there
isn't a problem.
She has a son at Meskwaki.
Obviously, her opinion is
biased.
I wouldn't send my son if I
didn't believe
I wouldn't send my son if I
didn't believe
in Dr. Brauer's work.
Look around.
So far, 43 people have come down
with this sleeping disease,
So far, 43 people have come down
with this sleeping disease,
and none of our health
professionals understand why.
We don't know if there's a
pathogen in the water,
We don't know if there's a
pathogen in the water,
or if this is some kind of mass
hysteria.
But only Dr. Brauer has offered
to open beds
and figure out what's going on
here.
These scare tactics don't change
the fact
These scare tactics don't change
the fact
that these disturbed patients,
who won't take off a robot mask,
are the real threat!
who won't take off a robot mask,
are the real threat!
-Yes. -(crowd murmuring)
We'll take a ten-minute recess
and reconvene to hear
counterarguments.
(indistinct crowd chatter)
(indistinct crowd chatter)
Hmm.
-Can I help you with something?
-(sighs)
-Can I help you with something?
-(sighs)
DORIAN: You did this to
yourself, Tanner.
-Tanner? -What were we talking
about?
-Tanner? -What were we talking
about?
(indistinct chatter)
(birds singing)
Come, come, children. The Goblin
Market awaits.
Come, come, children. The Goblin
Market awaits.
MALLORY: Hey.
You okay?
Yeah, yeah. Fine.
Let's get that sword.
Mm-hmm. Let's go.
(phone buzzing)
(sighs)
What?
SIMON:Hey, uh, your
location sharingturned
off.
Are you okay?Where
are you?
I'm in none of your business.
Look, Jared, I-I don't want to
fight, okay?
I'm-I'm just worried about you.
You're acting angrier
and more erratic than
ever.
You're acting angrier
and more erratic than
ever.
Jared?
SIMON:Are you
there?
JARED:I'm fine. I'm
totally fine.
Have you translated the Field
Guide pages Mulgarath stole?
I studied them, yeah. Why?
I think I found a creature.
He seems human, but he smells
like broccoli farts
He seems human, but he smells
like broccoli farts
and has warts all over his
hands.
Sounds like he could be a hag.
HUBERT: Hey, keep up.
Follow the bread crumbs.
Follow the bread crumbs.
You don't want to get lost
forever.
Hags have incredible hearing,
and they love gambling.
They lure naive humans into
deadly traps.
Spiderwick said the only way
to escape a hag's trap is to set
it off.
to escape a hag's trap is to set
it off.
Thanks.
Just, uh, call me when you
getback from
not-being-with-a-hag
so I can make sure you're alive,
and we can really talk?
I'd like that a lot.
I'd like that a lot.
Jared will call us when he's on
his way.
Hopefully, it'll give us enough
time to find the dragon page.
You're doing the right thing.
You're doing the right thing.
(metallic creaking)
He disabled the way into the
attic.
Hey, I think I got something.
Hey, I think I got something.
Hmm. No.
These are just his drawings.
CALLIOPE: Is that supposed to be
you?
CALLIOPE: Is that supposed to be
you?
He really hates your guts.
He drew something similar back
in Brooklyn.
It got him in super deep, the
cops and everything.
It got him in super deep, the
cops and everything.
No wonder he hid these then.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, is Jared still going to
die?
Hey, is Jared still going to
die?
If we can find the dragon page
and help Mulgarath get what he
wants,
and help Mulgarath get what he
wants,
he'll make sure nothing bad
happens to your brother
or your family.
Hey, Calliope! Oh, my God!
Hey! Hey, look at me. Are you
okay?
Hey! Hey, look at me. Are you
okay?
He sprayed everything with iron.
It's all over the place. I can't
breathe.
It's all over the place. I can't
breathe.
I actually admire his moxie.
Hey, you need to go home, okay?
Okay, it's not safe for you to
be here.
Okay, it's not safe for you to
be here.
All right, I'll find the page
myself.
Oh, Simon.
HUBERT: Your tiny minds will
melt,
HUBERT: Your tiny minds will
melt,
and you'll be cleaning out the
mess
with Q-tips for months after you
see
the Goblin Market!
the Goblin Market!
(electrical buzzing)
This used to be a grand bazaar
selling thistle-down to
manticores
while will-o-wisps juggled
dandelions fire.
while will-o-wisps juggled
dandelions fire.
Now everyone shops online.
Still, we have everything from
phoenix bones
Still, we have everything from
phoenix bones
to our famous pumpkin spice
latte.
We need the vorpal sword.
Vorpal sword. Hmm.
I think we had one in home
goods.
I think we had one in home
goods.
Hang on.
Listen, Hubert is going to try
to trap us here.
He's some kind of hag.
He's some kind of hag.
Then maybe we should go?
No. We can't leave without the
sword.
It's the only way to kill
Mulgarath.
It's the only way to kill
Mulgarath.
(quietly): There's got to be
another option.
We have to trick him into giving
us the sword and then escape.
(Hubert whistles)
(Hubert whistles)
Here we go.
One vorpal sword.
One vorpal sword.
And one pumpkin spice latte.
Um, we we, uh, didn't order
the latte.
Um, we we, uh, didn't order
the latte.
-But I already made it.
-MALLORY: All right.
How much is all this gonna cost?
1,024 teeth. 1,028 with the
latte.
-Teeth?! -That is the preferred
tender, yes.
You're telling me that this
latte costs four teeth?
Well, you can really taste the
cardamom.
Okay, we don't have 1,024 teeth.
Okay, we don't have 1,024 teeth.
Then you just wasted my entire
break!
Hey, hey, wait, wait, wait.
What if we played some sort of
game
to earn the teeth?
to earn the teeth?
You must think that I am some
kind of degenerate
that I would gamble with four
children for their teeth.
Because I totally would.
(laughs)
Because I totally would.
(laughs)
(Dorian humming Wagner's "Ride
of the Valkyries")
(urinal flushing)
(urinal flushing)
(humming continues)
I know one of your patients was
responsible
I know one of your patients was
responsible
for the disappearance of my
wife.
I'm shutting you down.
(urinal flushes)
(urinal flushes)
No, I'm shuttingyou
down.
(whimpers)
(Tanner coughs, gasps for air)
(Tanner coughs, gasps for air)
(guttural gasping)
I think this is terrifically
ironic.
I think this is terrifically
ironic.
This is the same way I killed
your wife.
Eh, you know those mushrooms you
yank out of your prim lawn?
Eh, you know those mushrooms you
yank out of your prim lawn?
-That's your wife, Tanner.
-(whimpers)
That's Julia.
That's Julia.
I'm an ogre, shape-shifter.
And you ingested a part of me
that I can transform into
anything I want.
From this fleshy form to an
ophiocordyceps unilateralis,
From this fleshy form to an
ophiocordyceps unilateralis,
otherwise known as the zombie
fungus.
I can't make you do anything too
complex.
I can't make you do anything too
complex.
Nothing I don't know how to do
already.
So, no flying planes or Sudoku.
So, no flying planes or Sudoku.
You're more like a puppet.
-(Dorian whistles) -(Tanner
groans)
(water running)
TANNER: Hmm.
(sighs)
-I need you, Tanner. -Hmm.
After our meeting, you're going
to go out there
and withdraw your motion to
close Meskwaki.
I really need a win here. Got a
lot on my plate.
Not only am I trying to poison
the water supply of Henson
with a sleeping sickness.
I'm also trying to impress a
lady.
See. (sighs)
I don't have your L.L. Bean
catalog chin,
I don't have your L.L. Bean
catalog chin,
but I did recently read in
Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop
that competence is the new
handsome.
that competence is the new
handsome.
-(rock music plays)
-NARRATOR: In the
unknown,
the hero must makea
personal sacrifice
Oh. So beautiful.
Oh. So beautiful.
NARRATOR:losing
part of themselvesin the
process.
All right. That's our
collateral.
All right. That's our
collateral.
So, what's the game?
An ancient game of wits
An ancient game of wits
that has been played through the
ages.
Rock, Paper, Scissors.
-(laughter) -Ow. Ow. Aah.
-(laughter) -Ow. Ow. Aah.
Laugh, but each turn is worth
double,
and it escalates quickly.
Win enough teeth, you'll get the
sword and the latte.
But if you lose, if you can't
pay your debt,
you'll work here until you die.
Now then,
how much do you care to wager?
how much do you care to wager?
NARRATOR:And the more
the hero losesof
themselves
NARRATOR:And the more
the hero losesof
themselves
Let's throw.
NARRATOR:the
deeper they go
into that dark abyss.
(sighs) Shall we throw again?
Oh. You're a ringer.
Yes.
-Only 1,026 left. -HATCHER: Come
on, Jared.
(soft grunting)
(soft grunting)
-Oh, come on! -Now that's 32
teeth you owe me.
32? How? He only played five
rounds.
Each turn is worth double,
and I'm going to need another
deposit to continue.
and I'm going to need another
deposit to continue.
Hatcher, give him your teeth.
Dude, I don't take off my
helmet.
Dude, I don't take off my
helmet.
BREE: Unbelievable.
We're wasting time.
You can take my molars.
-(laughs) -Let's go.
MALLORY: Bree? Bree, stop it.
No.
MALLORY: Bree? Bree, stop.
Bree, seriously, stop!
Bree, seriously, stop!
That's now, 512 teeth,
512 delightful teeth that you
owe me.
512 delightful teeth that you
owe me.
(door opens, slams)
(birds singing)
(footfalls approaching)
I messed it all up.
I messed it all up.
I was jealous.
-(sighs) -Of me?
Duh.
Duh.
Bree, I'm not even near you.
(quietly): What?
(quietly): What?
I studied for two years with
Valentina
before I passed her test.
And then, you just did it in two
hours.
And then, you just did it in two
hours.
I had to be the one to find the
vorpal sword
and kill the ogre,
and kill the ogre,
and it's not because of Chris or
competition,
but because
(voice breaking): Because my
mom's mask
is on Valentina's wall.
Mulgarath killed her.
And I let everyone down.
My mom, my dad.
You.
Oh, no sword, no hope, no
nothing.
Oh, no sword, no hope, no
nothing.
-I get it. -(sighs, sniffles)
The need to prove yourself to
your family.
The need to prove yourself to
your family.
The pressure to be excellent.
Fighting to be seen, just hoping
it'll make them love you.
Fighting to be seen, just hoping
it'll make them love you.
(sniffles)
Well, I'm just petty and
vengeful and pathetic.
Well, I'm just petty and
vengeful and pathetic.
Yeah. Well same.
-Okay, not same, same. -(laughs)
-But maybe similar? -Mmm.
(Bree sniffles)
(Bree sniffles)
Thank you for listening to me.
Thank you for listening to me.
Thank you for telling me.
Thank you for telling me.
(Bree sniffles)
(thudding)
THIMBLETACK: Oh, no, no, no.
You chose your side, Simp-Simon.
You chose your side, Simp-Simon.
Now, get out of here!
Go ride a bike with your new
ogre-dad or something.
Ride it straight off a cliff!
Thimbletack, I'm only trying to
help, okay?
You need to believe me. I need
to get that dragon page.
Well, it's not in the attic, I
swear.
Well, it's not in the attic, I
swear.
There's just a bunch books and
formaldehyde
and my collection of lint that
looks like Elvis Presley.
And that is all! Promise!
And that is all! Promise!
Okay.
Okay.
-(groaning) -(Thimbletack
laughing)
(Simon grunting)
The more Simon sneaks, the more
superglue leaks!
(Simon grunting)
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
(echoing): No!
(blades sharpening)
HUBERT: ■ Oh, don't
you hearthe old man
say? ■
■Hurrah, me boys,
we're homeward bound ■
■Hurrah, me boys,
we're homeward bound ■
■Oh, don't you hear
the old man say? ■
■Goodbye,
fare-thee-well,goodbye,
fare-thee-well ■
■Goodbye,
fare-thee-well,goodbye,
fare-thee-well ■
■Oh, don't you hear
the old man say? ■
■Oh, don't you hear
the old man say? ■
■Doo, doo-doo,doo,
doo-doo ■
512 teeth.
512 teeth.
I'm going to take all of your
chompers,
and you still owe me.
One of you is staying here,
forever making pumpkin spice
lattes.
-I'll do it. I'll stay. -No, no,
no, no.
Dope! Let me get you a smock.
Dope! Let me get you a smock.
Mallory! No. Don't be a martyr.
There's no other option, Bree.
There's no other option, Bree.
You guys have to go back and
stop Mulgarath.
(quietly): No, no, no. We can
still get the sword.
Why are you whispering?
Why are you whispering?
Hubert hears everything.
(air whooshing)
(air whooshing)
(knuckles cracking)
That's why he won so many times.
He listens to our muscles move
into Rock, Paper or Scissors.
He listens to our muscles move
into Rock, Paper or Scissors.
We need to fool his ears and
change it the last minute.
You're just guessing.
Simon told me.
He translated it from the Field
Guide. Come on.
It's the only way he could have
won that many times.
It's the only way he could have
won that many times.
So now you trust Simon?
When Hubert was sharpening his
knife, I saw him flinching.
When Hubert was sharpening his
knife, I saw him flinching.
-We have to trick him. -Okay,
look.
We cannot risk everything on a
"maybe."
We cannot risk everything on a
"maybe."
What did I do to make you hate
me so much?
You never believe me. Not now.
You never believe me. Not now.
Not when I told you creatures
were real.
Not in Brooklyn when the whole
world told me I was messed up.
Not in Brooklyn when the whole
world told me I was messed up.
Because
I thought you deserved it.
I wanted you to be punished.
I wanted you to hurt.
I wanted you to hurt.
Same way that you hurt me
by wrapping everybody else up in
your crap.
Listen.
You're an incredible fencer.
And I know I know you can
win.
And I know I know you can
win.
But please, please believe in me
as much as I believe in you.
But please, please believe in me
as much as I believe in you.
■ ■
MALLORY:Double or
nothing, right?Let's
go.
■ ■
(pounding echoing)
(pounding echoing)
-Yes, yes! (whoops) -Yeah!
No, no, no, no, no no, no, no,
no.
No, no, no, no, no no, no, no,
no.
We-we have to go again.
You only have 1,024 teeth,
You only have 1,024 teeth,
and you owe me 1,028 for the
sword and the latte.
I didn't order the latte.
-(roaring) -BREE: Guys, come on!
-HATCHER: Oh, no, no, no, no.
Run, run, run!
Run, run, run!
Hubert's gonna catch us!
Run faster!
(groaning)
(groaning)
You can't escape me.
(distant roaring)
I don't think that's gonna work,
Jared.
I don't think that's gonna work,
Jared.
Wait, wait, guys. Guys, I have
an idea.
I know you, fibbers. I know
where you live.
I know you, fibbers. I know
where you live.
We have to change the bread
crumbs.
Great. We can lose him and get
out of here.
I'll find you.
Go, go, go, go!
(distant roaring)
-Yes. -Yes!
(chuckles, exhales)
(snarls)
(roaring)
(roaring)
Careful, careful. Ooh!
-(giggles) -(Jared chuckles)
-(giggles) -(Jared chuckles)
-Yes! -Yeah, we did it.
(laughs)
SIMON: Help, please.
Somebody help me, please!
(grunting)
Simon! Crap! Are you okay?
Mallory, thank God. Please get
me out of here.
Oh, my God. Okay, I'm coming.
He came to steal the dragon page
for Mulgarath.
I heard him. He's betraying you.
See? You can't trust anyone.
Not even your own blood.
Don't touch him. Don't anyone
touch him.
Don't touch him. Don't anyone
touch him.
Let him suffer some more.
He's our brother.
Grace family rules. Don't be a
d-bag.
SIMON: Oh, yeah, yeah. Thank
you, thank you.
Well, I say back stabbers get
stabbed back.
Well, I say back stabbers get
stabbed back.
SIMON: Thanks, bro.
JARED: It's just a hilt.
He tricked us.
That old hag tricked us. Look,
there's no sword.
That old hag tricked us. Look,
there's no sword.
This is rot! Like you'd ever
want my help.
There was never a sword.
This is some kind of distraction
This is some kind of distraction
so you could help Simon find the
dragon page for Mulgarath.
That's not what's going on,
okay?
-Really? -We were a team.
Things between us didn't suck
for once.
All of you are against me.
We all want to help you!
I broke my arm. I'm missing
teeth.
I broke my arm. I'm missing
teeth.
You haven't done a damn thing
except avoid iron at all cost.
I'm not a creature.
I'm not a creature.
Take off the helmet.
Show me you aren't hiding horns
or elf ears. Hmm?
Show me you aren't hiding horns
or elf ears. Hmm?
You know why I can't do that.
Because you're lying!
Everyone in this room is a phony
Everyone in this room is a phony
pretending to be something that
they're not.
Pretending to care.
Pretending to care.
Dr. Brauer, Hubert, all of you.
I'm your friend, Jared.
Then prove me wrong.
Take off the helmet, Hatcher.
Take off the helmet, Hatcher.
(phone chimes)
Is it bad news?
Uh, they're not shutting down
Meskwaki.
Uh, they're not shutting down
Meskwaki.
Tanner backed down. We won. We
won!
That's amazing. (chuckles) Thank
you.
That's amazing. (chuckles) Thank
you.
Oh, thank you.
-Mmm. -Mmm.
-Mmm. -Mmm.
(moans)
(gasps)
Oh. Oh, my goodness. I'm sorry.
-(Hatcher yells) -SIMON: Stop
it! -MALLORY: Jared!
Come on.
(overlapping arguments)
MALLORY: Jared, please stop!
SIMON: Get off of him, Jared.
Let him go!
-HATCHER: Ah! -Show me who you
are.
-Get off of him, Jared!
-MALLORY: Stop!
SIMON: You're gonna hurt him.
SIMON: You're gonna hurt him.
Shut up. Just shut up! Shut up!
I'm not letting any of you trick
me again.
MALLORY: Jared, please!
(groans)
Jared! What did you do?
(panting)
(panting)
Don't look at me like that!
Don't look at me like that!
Like I'm the bad guy here.
He's the monster.
He's the monster.
Lucinda tried to warn you and
you didn't believe her.
Lucinda tried to warn you and
you didn't believe her.
It's not too late.
Lucinda's alive. I saw her.
(sobbing) We can fix this.
We can make this all right.
Mom
Mom
Mom, you have to believe me.
("Smile" by Timi Yuro playing)
■ ■
-■Now you should smile ■
-(dialogue inaudible)
-■Now you should smile ■
-(dialogue inaudible)
■Though your heart is
aching ■
■Though your heart is
aching ■
■Smile even though ■
■Smile even though ■
DORIAN: Okay. Here's the intake
form.
■When there are clouds ■
■When there are clouds ■
■Way up in the sky ■
■Way up in the sky ■
■You're gonna get by ■
■If you smile ■
MALLORY: Sorry, it's just the
hilt.
MALLORY: Sorry, it's just the
hilt.
■Fear and sorrow ■
It's not a hilt. It's a test.
It's not a hilt. It's a test.
■It may be ■
■Maybe tomorrow ■
■You'll see the sun ■
The other dragon didn't survive.
■For you ■
(muffled): This is all for the
best.
■Light ■
■Light ■
■Light up your face ■
Hey
Hey
It's gonna be okay.
■Hide every trace ■
■Of sadness ■
■Although a tear ■
■Although a tear ■
■May be ever so near ■
■May be ever so near ■
■That's the time ■
Why her?
Why her?
Why not me?
It's simple, really. It's
because she
She
-VALENTINA (whispers):
Mulgarath. -Valentina.
NARRATOR:In the
darkest momentsof
despair,
NARRATOR:In the
darkest momentsof
despair,
having destroyedthe
companionship
of friend and family,
the hero faces their
nemesis
the hero faces their
nemesis
alone.
■If you just smile ■
■If you just smile ■
LUCINDA:It's lonely
when they thinkyou're
crazy
and you know you're not.
and you know you're not.
You have to keepyour
head on, Jared.
Stay strong.
Believe.
■Do you see it too? ■
■I don't know what to do

■Call me on the
telephone ■
■Call me on the
telephone ■
■Because I'm feeling
all alone ■
■So where you wanna go?

■So where you wanna go?

■We can hit the road ■
■We canhit the
road ■
■We'll find the sun out
there ■
■We'll find the sun out
there ■
■No need to run out
there ■
■Another fire, I'm not
afraid ■
■To see new worlds
come off the page ■
■I'm not a hero but I can
see ■
■There's something
specialin you and me

■There's something
specialin you and me

■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■And no one gets it
like you do ■
■And no one gets it
like you do ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■And no one gets me
like you do ■
■Ooh ■
■Ooh-ooh ■
■Ooh-ooh ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■And no one gets it
like you do ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■And no one gets me
like you do. ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
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