The Tick (1994) s01e06 Episode Script
The Tick vs. El Seed
[Buzzer.]
[Man scats.]
Good morning, little flower faces.
Did we all make a lot of oxygen last night? Ooh, hey! Ow! What's gotten into you? [Flowers growl.]
[Woman screams.]
OK, miss, six saplings.
Where do you want 'em planted? Uh Hey! So now you're telling me there's, what, bad cholesterol and good cholesterol? Right, right.
[Grunts.]
[Rustling.]
Oh, in the rough! Found it.
Marty? Marty! [Groaning.]
Careful, chum, I don't like the look of these prickly succulents.
What's happening to the plants in this city? Yes, they do seem restless.
Oh Like the movies! Ha! Ha! Ha! [All grunt.]
[Laughs.]
OK, cacti, what are you up to? What's goin' on? Give me the skinny! Tick, they're plants.
They can't talk.
Besides, it's not just them.
This is happening all over the city.
[Flamenco singing.]
[Spanish accent.]
Hey! Hey, a pinch more lime up there.
[Buzzing.]
- Bee Twins.
- [Both.]
Yes, El Seed? Just the other day I am thinking, you know what I hate? You hate the humans.
I hate the humans.
They really get my goat.
I'm not so fond of goats either.
[Hissing.]
In fact, the whole animal kingdom really fries my frond.
More chlorophyll in beaker seven! When the Earth was young, the plant kingdom was in the driver's seat.
Oh, there was the occasional animal, the bees for example, flitting from flower to flower, not for conquest but for love.
These animals, they are troublemakers.
Always moving around with their feet and their wings, and their wheels.
[Tires screech.]
[Dance music on radio.]
[Sapling.]
Whee-ha! They eat us.
They wear us.
They put us in pots.
They squeeze us for juice.
It's grotesque.
But soon all this will change.
This vegetation vitalizer will free all plantlife to rise up against the animal oppressor.
Bee Twins, no longer must we vitalize one plant at a time.
This time we will get the whole city in a single whack.
I have rented a crop duster.
[Saplings.]
Whee! Oh, a free truck.
You know, I don't get it, Arthur.
Ha! I've always operated under the assumption that plants are good.
And now this.
I just can't get my mind around it.
[Arthur shrieks.]
That's a violation of your airspace.
Follow that plane! Animals, your days are numbered! [Laughs.]
One part vitalizer to a million zillion parts water.
The recipe for revolution! Why would they crop dust the park? There are no crops here.
- Look! - Those trees are going nuts! We've got to stop that plane! [El Seed laughs.]
- [Screams.]
- [Screams.]
Off my plane, blue monkey! I don't know who you are or what you're up to, mister, but I want this plane on the ground pronto! No, I rented it for the whole day.
Just give me that stick, petalhead.
[Both scream.]
[Tick groans.]
And don't come back! Tick! Ah-woo! - Are you OK? - I feel funky.
Monkey funky.
Uh-oh.
[Tick shrieks.]
Come on, Tick, get with it! We've got to get out of here.
Tick! Help me! Get me down! Put that monkey down! Hm.
Looks like the park's gone bad.
Could be a job for [all.]
The Civic Minded Five! OK, gang, let's do roll call.
[Clears throat.]
4 Legged Man! Captain Mucilage! The Carpeted Man! Jungle Janet! [Howls.]
And, yes [chuckles.]
Feral Boy.
OK, top priority.
Get those kids down.
All right, Civic Minded Five.
Let's make a difference! I'll stop those trees with my streams of high-pressure mucilage.
Let's get sticky! [Kids groan.]
By rubbing my carpeted feet over any surface I can create a tremendous charge of static electricity.
Gotcha! Gotcha! Gotcha! I'm so hot in this suit.
[Moans.]
[Arthur screams.]
Cut it out! Hey, my change! Monkey.
Monkey.
[Pinging.]
[Groans.]
[Moans.]
Arthur, are you OK? - What are you doing here? - Janet.
Flower.
Oh, thanks.
All I know is there's this guy in this airplane and he was spraying the park and everything went crazy, and the Tick jumped on his airplane, and they had this big fight, and the Tick fell off and he was all glowing and green, and now he's like this.
Potato? Oh, busy, busy Bee Twins.
What's the use? Come on, El Seed, don't feel so down.
You're good at this.
We love you.
But I spilled all the vitalizer on that big blue monkey.
We're making more.
We're making lots.
There's no time.
I have to return the airplane to the rental place by tomorrow morning.
I heard they start charging by the hour.
You can fly at dawn.
Besides, the revolution has already begun.
A few uppity trees in the park is no revolution.
I wanted a moment.
That was no moment.
They look up to you.
You know, you're right.
I shouldn't be so hard on myself.
After all, I am El Seed.
I am the self-proclaimed liberator of the plant population.
Bee Twins, that was my mistake.
The city is no place to start a plant revolution.
We have an army right here! It's all around us.
And it is enormous! [Laughs.]
[Siren.]
You know, I'm feeling a lot better.
Tick, you've got to see a doctor about this.
No, really, I feel full of life.
[Sneezes.]
[Man.]
Next.
Well, I've never seen anything like it.
- This calls for expensive testing.
- [Cash register pings.]
[Whirring.]
Your friend's got pits.
That was the scene toay, when a strange tree riot broke out in the park.
A surprisingly brave hanful of our city's superheroes fought through the ay, saving park-goers, an finally subuing the angerous greenery.
Many of the heroes went to the city hospital with minor injuries an severe splinters.
More after this.
You know, Gary, if you'd just take off that stupid suit you wouldn't keep overheating.
But [pants.]
I'm the Carpeted Man! Without this suit I am nothing.
[Gnarls.]
Relax, it's all over.
I didn't want to be involved.
I got jumped by a hedge.
Where are the cops in this town? [Shrieks.]
[Sighs.]
I hate broccoli.
And yet, in a certain sense I am broccoli.
Uh, Tick, I have the results of your test.
Lay it on me, Doc.
Let me be honest.
I don't know anything about this condition, but, offhand, I'd say you've got 12 hours.
Twelve hours? And then what? Well, he may end up a vegetable.
Man! - Man! - What do we do now? Well, we find the vegetable villain who did this to me and get the antidote.
- There's an antidote? - Villains always have antidotes.
They're funny that way.
Well, OK, there's an antidote and we have to get it.
We know that flower-head guy's got it.
Well, where is he? - Um - He could be anywhere.
But he rented that crop duster, right? Um And there's only one place I know where you can rent a crop duster.
[Buzzer.]
Hello, this is Jeff.
- Hi, Jeff, listen - You want a uster, right? No, Jeff, listen, did you rent a duster to a guy with a flower for a head? Hey, I rent out to a lot of people.
What kin of flower? I'm very busy.
[Clears throat.]
Jeff, Tick here.
Where can we find this guy? It's a medical emergency.
All right.
Hang on a secon.
[Papers rustle.]
Yes, I rente a plane to one El See this morning.
He's at the ol, abanone greenhouse.
- Right! - But it's aways own the roa.
[Footsteps.]
How far did Jeff say it was to El Seed's? He said it was aways.
Well, how many blocks is that? [Airplane approaches.]
[Laughs.]
[Both cough.]
[Growling.]
So long, oppressor monkeys! [laughs.]
No one could survive that much corn! [Corn grumbles.]
Tick, can you do corn? I don't know, I've never tried.
[Strains.]
Hi, guys.
Attention! We are on the march.
Soldiers of corn, lend me your ears.
Ooh, that's bad.
[Chuckles.]
Already I joke, and I don't even rule the world yet.
You are the glorious army of El Seed.
That's me.
I am on a big power trip, and you are coming with me.
OK, there you go.
Here, take a pen.
My assistants, the lovely Bee Twins, will pass out medical waiver forms and ballpoint pens.
Please print clearly! He's a madman.
Hey, what kind of corn soldiers are you? - Uh, well - We're uh - We're "kernels".
- There you go.
Today we destroy the works of Man and replace them with the works of El Seed! The 12 hours is almost up.
We've got to get the antidote.
When I was taking night courses at agricultural college, a fine school, I learned three things.
One, never stand in back of a cow.
Two, people and plants can never live in harmony.
Three, if you really want something, you take it! [Laughs.]
Well I want the world! OK, El Seed, where's the antidote? - What antidote? - Thirty seconds.
[El Seed jabbers.]
Listen, I don't have time for any of this villain banter! Oh that antidote.
It's right over there.
Let's make a difference.
[Feral Boy howls.]
Let's get out of here! [All talk at once.]
Is it very warm in here or is it me? [Sighs.]
Tick, we can use the crop duster to spray that antidote on the corn army.
Ooh, plane ride.
Hello? Corn army? Destroy them! I hate this.
This is fantastic.
I love being superheroes.
I knew you would.
All right, sir, you've had your fun.
We're putting you under citizen's arrest.
Feral Boy, don't put that in your mouth.
It was moving two minutes ago.
You know, when a tomato grows out of your forehead it gets you thinking.
What do we know about anything? Life is just a big, wild, crazy tossed salad.
But you don't eat it.
No, sir, you live it.
Isn't it great?! Isn't it great?! Whee!
[Man scats.]
Good morning, little flower faces.
Did we all make a lot of oxygen last night? Ooh, hey! Ow! What's gotten into you? [Flowers growl.]
[Woman screams.]
OK, miss, six saplings.
Where do you want 'em planted? Uh Hey! So now you're telling me there's, what, bad cholesterol and good cholesterol? Right, right.
[Grunts.]
[Rustling.]
Oh, in the rough! Found it.
Marty? Marty! [Groaning.]
Careful, chum, I don't like the look of these prickly succulents.
What's happening to the plants in this city? Yes, they do seem restless.
Oh Like the movies! Ha! Ha! Ha! [All grunt.]
[Laughs.]
OK, cacti, what are you up to? What's goin' on? Give me the skinny! Tick, they're plants.
They can't talk.
Besides, it's not just them.
This is happening all over the city.
[Flamenco singing.]
[Spanish accent.]
Hey! Hey, a pinch more lime up there.
[Buzzing.]
- Bee Twins.
- [Both.]
Yes, El Seed? Just the other day I am thinking, you know what I hate? You hate the humans.
I hate the humans.
They really get my goat.
I'm not so fond of goats either.
[Hissing.]
In fact, the whole animal kingdom really fries my frond.
More chlorophyll in beaker seven! When the Earth was young, the plant kingdom was in the driver's seat.
Oh, there was the occasional animal, the bees for example, flitting from flower to flower, not for conquest but for love.
These animals, they are troublemakers.
Always moving around with their feet and their wings, and their wheels.
[Tires screech.]
[Dance music on radio.]
[Sapling.]
Whee-ha! They eat us.
They wear us.
They put us in pots.
They squeeze us for juice.
It's grotesque.
But soon all this will change.
This vegetation vitalizer will free all plantlife to rise up against the animal oppressor.
Bee Twins, no longer must we vitalize one plant at a time.
This time we will get the whole city in a single whack.
I have rented a crop duster.
[Saplings.]
Whee! Oh, a free truck.
You know, I don't get it, Arthur.
Ha! I've always operated under the assumption that plants are good.
And now this.
I just can't get my mind around it.
[Arthur shrieks.]
That's a violation of your airspace.
Follow that plane! Animals, your days are numbered! [Laughs.]
One part vitalizer to a million zillion parts water.
The recipe for revolution! Why would they crop dust the park? There are no crops here.
- Look! - Those trees are going nuts! We've got to stop that plane! [El Seed laughs.]
- [Screams.]
- [Screams.]
Off my plane, blue monkey! I don't know who you are or what you're up to, mister, but I want this plane on the ground pronto! No, I rented it for the whole day.
Just give me that stick, petalhead.
[Both scream.]
[Tick groans.]
And don't come back! Tick! Ah-woo! - Are you OK? - I feel funky.
Monkey funky.
Uh-oh.
[Tick shrieks.]
Come on, Tick, get with it! We've got to get out of here.
Tick! Help me! Get me down! Put that monkey down! Hm.
Looks like the park's gone bad.
Could be a job for [all.]
The Civic Minded Five! OK, gang, let's do roll call.
[Clears throat.]
4 Legged Man! Captain Mucilage! The Carpeted Man! Jungle Janet! [Howls.]
And, yes [chuckles.]
Feral Boy.
OK, top priority.
Get those kids down.
All right, Civic Minded Five.
Let's make a difference! I'll stop those trees with my streams of high-pressure mucilage.
Let's get sticky! [Kids groan.]
By rubbing my carpeted feet over any surface I can create a tremendous charge of static electricity.
Gotcha! Gotcha! Gotcha! I'm so hot in this suit.
[Moans.]
[Arthur screams.]
Cut it out! Hey, my change! Monkey.
Monkey.
[Pinging.]
[Groans.]
[Moans.]
Arthur, are you OK? - What are you doing here? - Janet.
Flower.
Oh, thanks.
All I know is there's this guy in this airplane and he was spraying the park and everything went crazy, and the Tick jumped on his airplane, and they had this big fight, and the Tick fell off and he was all glowing and green, and now he's like this.
Potato? Oh, busy, busy Bee Twins.
What's the use? Come on, El Seed, don't feel so down.
You're good at this.
We love you.
But I spilled all the vitalizer on that big blue monkey.
We're making more.
We're making lots.
There's no time.
I have to return the airplane to the rental place by tomorrow morning.
I heard they start charging by the hour.
You can fly at dawn.
Besides, the revolution has already begun.
A few uppity trees in the park is no revolution.
I wanted a moment.
That was no moment.
They look up to you.
You know, you're right.
I shouldn't be so hard on myself.
After all, I am El Seed.
I am the self-proclaimed liberator of the plant population.
Bee Twins, that was my mistake.
The city is no place to start a plant revolution.
We have an army right here! It's all around us.
And it is enormous! [Laughs.]
[Siren.]
You know, I'm feeling a lot better.
Tick, you've got to see a doctor about this.
No, really, I feel full of life.
[Sneezes.]
[Man.]
Next.
Well, I've never seen anything like it.
- This calls for expensive testing.
- [Cash register pings.]
[Whirring.]
Your friend's got pits.
That was the scene toay, when a strange tree riot broke out in the park.
A surprisingly brave hanful of our city's superheroes fought through the ay, saving park-goers, an finally subuing the angerous greenery.
Many of the heroes went to the city hospital with minor injuries an severe splinters.
More after this.
You know, Gary, if you'd just take off that stupid suit you wouldn't keep overheating.
But [pants.]
I'm the Carpeted Man! Without this suit I am nothing.
[Gnarls.]
Relax, it's all over.
I didn't want to be involved.
I got jumped by a hedge.
Where are the cops in this town? [Shrieks.]
[Sighs.]
I hate broccoli.
And yet, in a certain sense I am broccoli.
Uh, Tick, I have the results of your test.
Lay it on me, Doc.
Let me be honest.
I don't know anything about this condition, but, offhand, I'd say you've got 12 hours.
Twelve hours? And then what? Well, he may end up a vegetable.
Man! - Man! - What do we do now? Well, we find the vegetable villain who did this to me and get the antidote.
- There's an antidote? - Villains always have antidotes.
They're funny that way.
Well, OK, there's an antidote and we have to get it.
We know that flower-head guy's got it.
Well, where is he? - Um - He could be anywhere.
But he rented that crop duster, right? Um And there's only one place I know where you can rent a crop duster.
[Buzzer.]
Hello, this is Jeff.
- Hi, Jeff, listen - You want a uster, right? No, Jeff, listen, did you rent a duster to a guy with a flower for a head? Hey, I rent out to a lot of people.
What kin of flower? I'm very busy.
[Clears throat.]
Jeff, Tick here.
Where can we find this guy? It's a medical emergency.
All right.
Hang on a secon.
[Papers rustle.]
Yes, I rente a plane to one El See this morning.
He's at the ol, abanone greenhouse.
- Right! - But it's aways own the roa.
[Footsteps.]
How far did Jeff say it was to El Seed's? He said it was aways.
Well, how many blocks is that? [Airplane approaches.]
[Laughs.]
[Both cough.]
[Growling.]
So long, oppressor monkeys! [laughs.]
No one could survive that much corn! [Corn grumbles.]
Tick, can you do corn? I don't know, I've never tried.
[Strains.]
Hi, guys.
Attention! We are on the march.
Soldiers of corn, lend me your ears.
Ooh, that's bad.
[Chuckles.]
Already I joke, and I don't even rule the world yet.
You are the glorious army of El Seed.
That's me.
I am on a big power trip, and you are coming with me.
OK, there you go.
Here, take a pen.
My assistants, the lovely Bee Twins, will pass out medical waiver forms and ballpoint pens.
Please print clearly! He's a madman.
Hey, what kind of corn soldiers are you? - Uh, well - We're uh - We're "kernels".
- There you go.
Today we destroy the works of Man and replace them with the works of El Seed! The 12 hours is almost up.
We've got to get the antidote.
When I was taking night courses at agricultural college, a fine school, I learned three things.
One, never stand in back of a cow.
Two, people and plants can never live in harmony.
Three, if you really want something, you take it! [Laughs.]
Well I want the world! OK, El Seed, where's the antidote? - What antidote? - Thirty seconds.
[El Seed jabbers.]
Listen, I don't have time for any of this villain banter! Oh that antidote.
It's right over there.
Let's make a difference.
[Feral Boy howls.]
Let's get out of here! [All talk at once.]
Is it very warm in here or is it me? [Sighs.]
Tick, we can use the crop duster to spray that antidote on the corn army.
Ooh, plane ride.
Hello? Corn army? Destroy them! I hate this.
This is fantastic.
I love being superheroes.
I knew you would.
All right, sir, you've had your fun.
We're putting you under citizen's arrest.
Feral Boy, don't put that in your mouth.
It was moving two minutes ago.
You know, when a tomato grows out of your forehead it gets you thinking.
What do we know about anything? Life is just a big, wild, crazy tossed salad.
But you don't eat it.
No, sir, you live it.
Isn't it great?! Isn't it great?! Whee!