Theodosia (2022) s01e06 Episode Script

[soft music]
♪
[sighs]
Time for your beauty sleep,
and let's face it.
You need it.
♪
Yeah.
Nighty-night, Shesmu.
Don't let the
scarab beetles bite.
♪
Magic? What's going on?
[mysterious music]
♪
The Eye!
♪
Okay, this does not look good.
[exciting mystical music]
♪
[sneaky music]
[exhaling heavily]
Sticky fingerprints everywhere.
A necessary inconvenience
when educating
inquiring young minds.
What on Earth is this?
I've always said children
and museums don't mix.
Well, surely, the whole
purpose of museums
is to educate the
generations to come.
Well, we could start
by teaching them
not to leave their
rubbish on our exhibits.
Years of training, and now
I'm cleaning up after brats.
What was that?
What? I was just saying,
I think we've got rats.
[shimmering tones, crackling]
I heard the cleaner
was off sick.
So you thought
you'd come and help.
Excellent!
Uh
I banish the
broomstick to history.
- Ow!
- Sorry.
Um, how is throwing
my broom away
gonna get the floors
swept before opening?
Aha! Who needs brooms
when you can have
the life-changing, time-saving,
patent pending MessBuster?
[clicks]
[squeaking, clacking]
[squeaking, clanking]
[air hissing]
Perhaps you should get to class.
- Yeah.
- Never mind.
Hmm.
- But why?
- Why is the magic changing?
[inquisitive music]
Where did that scary
green cloud come from?
♪
Feel free to throw
in any ideas, Ra.
You should be able to help.
Cats just aren't team players.
♪
I really need to get better
at this whole spell thing.
♪
Remember, if the triangle
is neither equilateral
nor isosceles, you need
your trigonometric formulas.
The basic trigonometric
functions are sine,
cosine, and tangent.
The sine is the opposite
side over the hypotenuse.
The cosine is the adjacent
side over the hypotenuse.
Hear me, ancients.
I beseech thee,
Osiris, giver of breath
to the inert One, in
the presence of Thoth,
grant access to only Ra himself.
The tangent is the opposite
side over the adjacent side.
- So how do I remember that?
- It worked.
"SOH CAH TOA." Sine equals
Ra, god of all that is light,
let the world become witness
to your infinite wisdom.
The pages open again.
Any questions?
Then you're ready for your test!
All: Hmm?
[groans]
This will need your
full attention.
- What are we even doing?
- Trigonometry.
Hear me, ancients, I
beseech thee, Osiris,
giver of breath
to the inert One,
in the presence of Thoth,
grant access to only Ra himself.
It's stuck.
Maybe some oil?
Ra, god of all that is light,
may the world become witness
to your infinite wisdom.
[sighs]
Oh, yes!
Theo, that doesn't
look like math.
And it's not from our library.
The foreign office
is sending someone
to assess our dig application.
They'll be here within the hour.
Okay, guys, here's the bit
I know you love, a test!
The quicker you finish,
the quicker you can
go have some fun.
Help me out. I hate math.
All those rules,
just so not my thing.
- I'm sorry.
- I need to get that book back.
You know, I've always said
you are far more intelligent
than your sister.
- [chuckles]
- Nice try, but I'm a bit busy.
Ask Theo. She's
a walking abacus.
Who's walked off!
Just give me a few
pointers, okay?
Shouldn't there be
another cog there?
No, I don't no.
No, that's it!
There's a cog missing!
Saffy, you're a genius.
Wh Henry!
[scoffs]
[upbeat music]
♪
How's that girlfriend of yours?
♪
- Talking to me?
- [laughs]
I don't I don't
have a girlfriend.
And I didn't see you hang
around with that girl
at the table tennis, no
didn't notice at all.
Wait, who? Safiya?
She's not my girlfriend.
If you say so.
Look, it's quiet.
May as well close up and
catch some zeds, yeah?
Take the day off.
Say hello to your not
a girlfriend for me.
She's not
[mock snoring]
[mysterious music]
♪
[clearing throat]
♪
[bright orchestral music]
♪
Oh, come on.
[sniffs]
[gasps]
Pepper!
Ah, Clive!
The flowers downstairs
need putting into vases
to brighten up the displays.
We have to make a
good impression.
Do I look like a florist?
So much pepper.
Hey Theo.
- Oh, hi, Will!
- We have a problem.
We do?
A little bird tells me
you've taken a real
fancy to something.
Wh
[soft dramatic music]
Mrs. Pilkington's pie shop.
Uh-oh, yes.
- Well, you can have one!
- If you help me pass this.
Oh, okay,
but only if you
help me fix this.
I'm buying you pie!
Pie's good. This is better.
I just need you to
hold that spring back.
This is what four hours
in Manicures of Mayfair
looks like. They're
a work of art.
Pity it's maths and
not an art test then.
You might have passed that.
[dry chuckle]
Sorry, darlings.
Prepare to glimpse the future.
Come on, Saffy.
Saffy?
I had to call her something.
[machine rumbling]
It works!
Okay. Great.
Now make with the maths.
If my grades don't hold up,
Uncle Rami's gonna try sending
me to boarding school again.
Not on my watch.
Okay, so given isosceles
right angle A, B, C,
where C is 90 degrees
- But magic's magic!
- It can't just change.
Well, it has, and it's growing.
Look, it's all
connected somehow.
- It could be a good change.
- Well, sure.
Egyptian magic's all
about good change.
Like when Ra changed
his daughter,
Hathor, into Sekhmet.
Exactly. Good old Ra.
Well, Sekhmet did almost
destroy humanity so
Oh, bad Ra.
I know it sounds crazy,
but you do believe
me, don't you?
I totally believe in you.
So any tips or tricks
you can teach me?
- Wait, hold on!
- Why aren't you at the arcade?
We shut early so I
thought I just
Oh, help?
I was thinking more
ice cream in the park
with a magic lesson, but, hey,
I'm good with saving humanity.
[tense music]
♪
Deep breath.
A Foreign Office inspector
is nothing to be scared of.
[forced laugh]
Mrs. Krait, I presume?
Miss!
What have I missed?
Miss Krait,
Henrietta Throckmorton
and my husband, Alistair.
- Yes, of course.
- Of course, of course.
Oh, strong!
It's marvelous to see
the Foreign Office
being so forward-thinking,
hiring a woman.
They're normally so stuffy
and old-fashioned
I mean, not that
there's anything wrong
with the Foreign
Office of course.
Oh, no, no, no. I
mean we will
Such lovely weather we're
having, don't you think?
It's smaller than I imagined.
We believe in quality
over quantity.
We've prepared
tea in the garden.
- And cake.
- You look like a cake lover.
[gasps]
The garden is this way.
- Mm, please.
- [clears throat]
I'm sorry.
It's the nerves! We
really need that permit.
Then maybe leave
the talking to me.
Yes, dear.
It's a right angled
isosceles triangle, see?
So you take 90 from 180,
divide it by two, 45 degrees.
I know, I'm amazing,
right? [machine whirring]
Stop the
[machine squealing]
- What is this
- Saffy, no!
- What in heaven's
- Stop!
- [yelping]
- Saffy, please!
[indistinct chatter]
- It's not working.
- Stop it!
- Stop this thing.
- I can't stop it.
- No, no aah!
- Do something!
- Are you okay?
- Move!
- Move!
- Let's get out of here.
[overlapping
chatter and screams]
Oh, for heaven's sake, get
out of the way, please!
Oh, my goodness!
Stop it!
No, no, no, no. Oh, no!
Okay.
So there's going to be a
solar eclipse in a few days.
The sun's a big deal for the
ancient Egyptians, right?
- Oh, yeah.
- It means everything to them.
No wait, you're
right. The eclipse
Maybe that's the reason
why the magic is changing!
There we go.
[object clattering]
What was that?
It's Basbousa, made the
traditional Egyptian way.
I got the recipe from
the cook on our last dig.
Oh, the dig on which you
discovered the Eye of Horus?
Yes. We're very proud of it.
Your daughter must
have been thrilled?
Our daughter?
You know how girls are for
pretty little trinkets.
It's more than a
trinket to Theodosia.
She's obsessed with it.
But how did you know
we had a daughter?
In assessing your application,
it is my job to know everything.
Oh, and how is our
application progressing?
[soft dramatic music]
It will depend on my inspection.
I need to know how secure
your priceless artifacts are.
♪
You've been burgled.
No.
It's the Eye.
It's come alive. It did this.
♪
It's getting stronger.
♪
And dangerous. Stay back!
How can you tell?
Because the magic that
swirls around it, Will,
now it's beating like a heart.
I wish I could see it.
♪
The tempest must be tamed.
Only she who sees
it can stop it.
I know this place.
It's the Mortuary Temple of
- Hatshepsut!
- Bless you!
No, the woman in my
visions is Hatshepsut!
18th dynasty pharaoh.
1458 to 1479 BC.
Daughter of Thutmose the first.
Will, she built the
temple at Deir el-Bahari.
She's the second female pharaoh.
She's the coolest queen ever.
Fangirl much.
Only the tempest must be tamed.
Only I can stop it.
I just don't get why
she can't speak to me
like a normal person.
Like just tell me what to do.
You'll find a way.
You're amazing.
I-I mean, at the magic stuff.
♪
We'll need stronger
protection until then.
All right, don't let
anyone go near the Eye.
♪
Way to go, Dr. Jekyll.
You really impressed
me with your monster.
Not!
Go, go, go!
[squeaks]
[gasps]
My dress! My beautiful
bespoke dress!
What have you done? This
dress is Paul Poiret's!
Well, at least it's not yours.
Question two?
Hey!
You vandal, gotcha!
[tense music]
This wasn't me.
It just smashed itself, did it?
And this just jumped into
your little hands, did it?
- I was clearing up.
- Ask Theo she'll tell you.
You save it for the police.
Yes, we do have some rather
large pieces upstairs,
but we prefer the
light, don't we?
We do.
It's I think you'll
like it up here.
♪
Theo! Whatever's happened?
- Now maybe you'll believe me.
- Believe what?
All of this, it was
Caught him stealing
a gold bracelet.
Red-handed. Wrecked
the place too.
- Will would never do that.
- He's my friend!
I was helping out!
We'll take care of this, Clive.
Could you take over clearing up?
Please.
I'm so sorry about this.
I really don't know
what has happened.
I do.
It's the Eye.
- [scoffs]
- Theo, a word please.
Excuse us. Excuse sorry.
Dad, this proves everything
I've been trying to tell you.
You were cursed by the
Eye of Horus Amulet
Please, not this again.
Will, come on.
I know it's hard to
believe, Mr. Throckmorton,
but it's true.
And it's getting dangerous.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Our daughter
- Has quite the imagination.
♪
Well, these are all correct.
You really are a fast learner.
Can you smell that?
A Miss Pilkington pie
for helping you pass?
- After you ruined my dress?
- Yeah, no, I don't think so.
Oh, no, no, no!
Nothing about this is imaginary.
Okay, look, you can
see what it's done!
Enough of this
nonsense, Theo, please!
- It's not nonsense, Dad.
- This is magic.
♪
What's all this dust?
[exciting music]
♪
- This is yours, I take it?
- Oops.
Okay, can I just
put it on record
that this had nothing
to do with me.
You see? This mess was made by
your soon-to-be-grounded-for-
the-next-ten-years brother.
Not magic.
Okay. Maybe this wasn't.
Sense prevails at last.
But there is something happening
- with the Eye of Horus.
- [groans]
Maybe now's not the time.
Will, now is
definitely the time.
And that's from Queen
Hatshepsut herself.
- Please excuse me.
- I have to talk to this lot.
I'm sorry you were
unfairly accused, Will.
Forget it.
I can help tidy up if you like?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- We've put you through enough.
Best if you get off home, yes?
[exhales, clears throat]
All I asked was that
you take a math test.
Instead, you two
caused utter mayhem.
And you insult the person
from the Foreign Office
that we need to impress!
Actually I did the test.
But I
♪
Okay, Safiya. You can go.
Your uncle will be waiting.
See you tomorrow.
[whispering] Pilkington
pie on me tomorrow.
♪
On what planet is
this acceptable?
Half destroying the museum?
Showing yourselves up
in front of guests!
I blame myself. We're
failing you as parents.
Maybe Grandmother
Throckmorton was right
about sending you
to boarding school.
- What?
- Well, no, you can't do that.
- Yeah, you're great parents!
- And excellent teachers.
We promise to do better, okay?
Promise.
It's Miss Krait you
need to apologize to.
♪
Things aren't usually like this.
I hope it won't
affect our permit.
Oh, the world would
be a boring place
without a bit of chaos.
So this is the Eye of Horus.
Such an extraordinary find.
Ah, yes. An amazing artifact.
And quite the draw
with the public too!
People queueing up to see it!
Would I be able to hold it?
Oh well, you
Surely you can trust someone
from the Foreign Office.
- Yes, of course.
- I'll get the keys.
♪
[crackling]
- Theo?
- Hmm?
You had something to
say to Miss Krait.
[tense music]
- Here we are.
- Dad, what are you doing?
Acquainting Miss Krait
with the Eye of Horus.
No, you can't do that, she's
What did we just
talk about, Theo?
♪
Boarding school, remember?
Terrible food, head
flushed down the toilet,
caned by prefects.
She's got one of
those serpent tattoos.
♪
Hear me, ancients.
In the presence of Ra,
in the presence of Thoth,
grant access to only Ra himself.
What are you doing?
It's a locking spell.
She can't get her
hands on the Eye.
There you go. That's one.
Wow. Effective!
Oh, I forgot it. What was it?
- Theo
- Osiris, Thoth, then Ra.
Okay, got it.
I beseech thee,
Osiris, giver of breath
to the inert One In
the presence of Thoth,
grant access to only Ra himself.
♪
Something's up with this lock.
Stubborn little thing, isn't it?
Maybe some oil.
I have other appointments.
I'll deal with it another day.
And our application?
♪
Okay. Come on.
Mom and Dad will be furious.
No way they're getting
their permit now.
But Miss Krait wasn't
here for the dig permit.
She wanted the Eye.
- Why?
- I don't know.
But she had a snake tattoo
like that guy, Vincent.
The one thing none
of us can disguise.
♪
- "Us"?
- [chuckles]
You can't stop the
Serpents of Chaos.
The Eye will be ours.
♪
Who are the Serpents of Chaos?
No idea.
But I'm gonna find out.
[dramatic music]
♪