This is Us (2016) s01e06 Episode Script

1 - You're fired.
- Previously on This Is Us What? I think it's time we go at it alone for a while.
You know? See what happens.
This doesn't say "pause" on my script.
Well, it doesn't say "suck" either, yet here we are.
KEVIN: I'm not cut out for theater.
You do that a lot doubt yourself.
You're so busy making sure that Kate's not eating too much Kev, calm down.
And Randall's not too adopted! I'm sorry.
I should have been there, and I'm gonna be there.
REBECCA: Do you think that my son could play with - yours sometime after school? - Yeah.
Every time I met a new black person, I would put a mark in this notebook, and every time I met a black man, I wondered if that man could possibly be my father.
Bum, bum, bah-dum, bum, bum, bum, bah, bah Dah, dah, bah, bum Bum-bum, bum-bum Bah-bah, bum-bum, ah, ah, ah Ah, bah-bah-bah, bah-bum.
(cheering) No, baby, you got to finish your bananas first.
- You want some banana? - Kev, you want a little banana, too? Go in and see your daddy right now, okay? You have some more.
- Jack, I think we're completely out of milk.
- Yeah.
- He won't drink his juice.
- Yeah, I'll, um - He just wants milk.
- I'll bring some home.
Do you want some more apples? Come on.
Come on.
Here, do you want to get out - of your chair? - Yeah.
All right.
Come on.
Babe, a desk job? JACK: Bec, we need the money.
REBECCA: You don't even own a tie.
(typewriters clicking) (phones ringing) MIGUEL: So did you hear? Uh yeah.
Surprise birthday cake for Sandra in the break room.
You know, it's never, it's never a surprise.
Als Okay, also, I got promoted.
Project manager.
- That's great, man.
Hey.
- Thanks.
And I'm bringing you with me.
Oh.
Um thanks, but no.
- But thanks.
- No? Keep this quiet, but I'm, uh, gonna go out on my own.
I want to start my own thing.
I know it's risky, but once I get things up and running, I can spend more time with my kids.
All right, how 'bout this: why don't you, um, take till the end of the week, think about it.
I'm okay.
Don't need to think.
End of the week, okay? Huh? (stilted piano playing) JACK: Hi! - Daddy's home! - Hi! - Hey! - Dad! Dad! - Hi.
Dad! - Kev.
- Dad! - Hi.
Hey, buddy.
- Kev - I need to ask you a question - One second.
- Dad! - Hey, look-look at the progress you made, bud.
- Watch this.
I'm gonna help you out after dinner, okay? Hi.
Hi, baby.
Mwah.
- Dad! - Yeah.
- We're getting ice cream! - KEVIN/RANDALL: Ice cream! - JACK: Ice cream? - I promised them.
Ice cream? Ice cream?! (laughs) None for me if you want - to be able to pick me up again.
- Please, you are tiny.
- REBECCA: Right.
Mm.
- But ice cream must mean that the kids' report cards came back and they were good? No.
Actually, mostly B's and C's.
I caved.
I don't know.
Parenting makes my cerebellum hurt.
(chuckles) Sorry, your what? It's the part of my brain that makes my emotions.
I have been doing way too much third grade science homework.
Mm.
But why don't you, uh, look at that.
Why does Randall's teacher want to see us? I don't know.
JACK: Hmm.
Okay.
(piano playing gentle melody) WILLIAM: You are too beautiful My dear, to be true For one lucky fool To be with You are too beautiful And I am a fool For beauty.
Oh.
Hope you don't mind.
Pianos get forlorn if you don't play 'em.
- No, of course I don't mind.
- Where'd you learn - how to play like that? - My dad taught me.
And his dad taught him.
Dad, can you teach us to play? Uh, I wish I could.
Grandma and Aunt Kate got all the music talent in the family.
Me? I was always all knuckles.
Yeah, well, your dad's got other skills.
Me, I managed to squeak out a couple of dollars on one of these back in the day.
Mostly trumpet, mm.
Any gigs I could get.
TESS: Will you speak at my career day? Can Grandpa speak at my career day? I don't think so, baby.
You're only allowed one speaker, and I'm already signed up.
I pick Grandpa.
He had a cool job.
What are you saying, that Daddy doesn't have a cool job? But you guys love visiting me at the office, right? I like spinning in your chair.
You kind of have a boring job, Dad.
Trading commodity futures based on long-term weather patterns is not boring, okay? (snores, snorts) Sorry, sort of fell asleep soon as I heard the word "commodity.
" Ooh, Uncle Kevin, can you speak at my career day? Daddy's doing career day! End of discussion.
And it's gonna be lit.
That's not how you use "lit," right? - No.
- No.
(chuckles) Sorry, I don't understand.
So you are saying that Randall is gifted? But his grades are average.
Are you sure you tested him right? Jack, we know how smart he is.
Okay, so what's up with his grades? M-Maybe is the-the teacher prejudiced? - Jack.
- No.
When a child tests well but his grades don't seem to reflect it, oftentimes, he isn't being challenged at his school.
And you maybe want to consider other options.
They have wonderful programs for exceptional children like Randall.
Not gonna happen.
Jack, please stop making me say "Jack.
" Randall is one of the only black kids at this school, but at least here he has his brother and sister.
I know.
What about them? I mean, can they go, too? Mr.
Pearson, all due respect, Kevin and Kate wouldn't do well in that school.
You see, that's where you're wrong.
All of our children are exceptional.
Can I touch you? I just want to touch you one more time.
Just one part of your body.
Your hair.
I want to wake up I'm sorry, I I'm I'm not I'm sorry, can we can we just start over? Yeah, yeah.
Uh, Kevin, can I ask you something? Yeah.
Why Just try to help me understand this.
Wh-Why, every time we come to this scene, this-this pinnacle of grief, which should rip I mean, literally rip tears from the audience, why you summon up all the emotion of a Google Maps voice.
Right.
Uh I don't know.
May - You know, maybe it's in the words.
- SLOANE: How would you know? - You've never said them.
- Uh, no, I think I think I'm saying 'em.
No.
I mean, yeah, like, s-some.
Kind of.
But you're-you're mostly paraphrasing.
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah.
Y-Yeah.
You see, it's really simple.
Olivia is Jessica, your wife.
- Okay.
- You are David.
You loved her, but now she is dead.
So you are grieving the loss of her.
There's no longer any such thing as gravity.
(sighs) Have you ever lost anyone? Yes.
Because I don't believe you.
Well, you know, Ron, it's not my job - to make sure you believe me.
- (stammers) Oh, yes, yes, it is! It is! It is exactly your job! Do your job.
What is she writing? What are you writing? That's her suicide note.
OLIVIA: All right, all right, enough, okay? He'll get there.
RON: (sighs) Okay.
All right.
10:00 a.
m.
Tuesday, everybody.
Thank you.
It's a process.
Just let it go for now.
Yeah.
What are you doing tomorrow? Oh.
Uh, well, tomorrow I was just gonna spend the entire day feeling like a failure, but, uh Come to a party with me.
A party? What kind of party we talking? - I'll text you the address.
- Yeah, okay.
All right.
(door opens) (birds chirping) (sighs) There's no way in hell.
This job better be worth it.
See ya, world.
It's been real.
Oh, Jesus.
(water running) You sure you're all right? Oh.
Yeah, I'm good.
I'm good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm good.
Uh, Mrs.
Rosenthal Marin.
Oh.
Marin.
(chuckles) I realize that my previous employment with my brother might not be directly applicable.
However, I am abnormally organized.
And I'm basically the not crazy version of Jack Nicholson in As Good as It Gets.
Oh, I love that movie.
Oh.
Right? BOTH: "You make me want to be a better man.
" (laughing) Oh! Sorry.
I'm sorry, you were saying No.
I-I have grant writing experience, and I'm used to dealing with Hollywood types, which I know are large contributors to your foundation.
And I know you're on the board of Stay In Touch - and the Butterfly Ball.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God, that's amazing.
Um, Doug Kincaid, your boss before your brother, was it? He speaks about you in such glowing terms.
Why did you quit his firm? Because I fell in love with him, and it was not a healthy situation.
I like you, Kate.
You're qualified, you're smart, and I need someone right now by my side.
Now, it's not assistant work.
It's part event coordinator, part development associate.
I would be absolutely thrilled.
But there is some personal stuff you may have to do, an errand here or there, maybe drive my daughter to and from? Yeah.
Okay.
Not much, so don't worry about that.
No, of course.
Yeah.
So, do you want the gig? Wait, really? - I'm so excited! - Oh! - Well, I'm so excited! - (laughs) Oh, I wanted you from the moment the toilet paper was stuck to your head.
Seriously, though, whatever you need, I'm your girl.
- (typing on phone) - Oh, hey, this is my daughter.
Jemma, this is Kate.
So, I see you picked the fat one.
(continues typing) Oh.
Weather derivatives are tradable commodities that protect business owners from future changes in the weather.
It's like licking a piece of pizza so that nobody will eat it later.
Now I'm thinking about pizza.
Okay.
No, wait, I'm sorry no, no, no, wait, - I was gonna get it this time.
- Look, how am I supposed to inspire an auditorium full of strangers, and my own wife and kids don't even understand what I do? - That's not true.
- Really? What do I do? You trade weather.
You trade commodities based on weather patterns.
And what does that mean? Oh, damn, Randall, I don't know.
(clicks tongue) You swap lightning bolts for thunder clouds? (sighs) Look, I know what your day is like.
I know that you like one of your partners and you hate the other one.
I know that you're gonna redesign your office furniture and that you might fire your assistant - because she says "like" too much.
- It's nonstop.
Can I talk to you in depth about weather patterns? No, I cannot.
But I don't think you'd want me to if I could, so Hey, what's-what's this really about? Maybe I was meant to be a musician.
I'm sorry, what now? Or an artist or a writer.
Just think about it, Beth.
There's this whole genetic side of me that nobody even knew existed.
I mean, William was a poet, an artist, a musician.
You know, maybe I've had an artistic side in me all along and nobody knew to empower it.
You know, maybe I wasn't meant to be a straight and narrow math geek destined to wear a shirt and tie every day like my parents thought.
Maybe I was meant to live a musician's life.
On the road and playing clubs, you know? All right, well, in this musical fantasy version of yourself, what instrument would you Sax.
Mm.
Like Wesley in Mo' Better Blues.
Definitely sax.
Oh, yeah.
That's sexy, yeah.
You're making fun of me.
- No.
- No, you're making fun of me.
No, I am not.
I'm-I'm not.
Your biological father just came back into your life, and it's bringing up all kinds of stuff.
It's-it's normal.
Look, why don't you try out this-this crazy artist side of yourself and, you know, get this presentation popping.
Let's see how it flies with some eight-year-olds, right? Before you, like, shift careers and start playing open mic saxophone nights.
- You know, maybe I will.
- Okay, yeah.
- I see you are making fun of me, but I will.
- No, yeah.
- Why don't you stop smiling? - I can't.
- Stop smiling.
- I'm sorry.
This early midlife crisis is so you, I can't stand it.
- (grunts) - (shrieks) You want something to smile about? - (laughing): No, please.
- Do you, do you really? I build it up I build it u-up Hi, can I speak to Michael please? Hey, Tanner, it's Kate.
Yeah, Kevin's sister.
How are you? Oh, good.
Are you by any chance available on the third for a charity event? Hey, I have a question for you: how do you feel about homelessness? I know, it's a bummer, right? So, we're looking to cater about 400 people.
Your restaurant's definitely gonna want to be a part of this.
Oh, my I know.
Um Awesome, okay, great.
Thanks, Z.
Bye.
You're killer.
(chuckles) I need you to take me to Ashley's.
Oh, well, what if Kate gave you a ride? Do you mind? (ringtone plays) No.
Hi.
(whispers): Sorry.
I'll be in the car, intern.
Hey.
Hey.
- Should we go in? - Yeah.
Listen, what kind of party is this anyway? 'Cause everyone seems pretty sad.
Of course they're sad.
It's a memorial service.
Come on, in we go, before all the good cheese is gone.
(school bell rings) What are we doing here? REBECCA: We are here because your wife do you remember her? I think so, yeah.
The one that you love more than life itself? - Definitely rings a bell.
- Got it.
She wants to take a look at this place.
JACK: Okay, I'm looking.
Geez, this place is whiter than Randall's already pretty white other school.
I mean, look at these kids.
They look like little Nazi robots.
That one's got a briefcase.
I no kid should be carrying a briefcase.
I think it's cute.
Yeah, it's cute now; next thing you know, he's gonna be trapped in a cubicle for the rest of his life.
I tell you, it starts with a briefcase, then you put on a tie, you sit at a desk.
Next thing you know, you are so conditioned to the florescent lights that when you step outside, the sun actually burns your eyes.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
Really? This isn't about me.
Well, it certainly isn't about Randall.
Hey.
Look, I I wasn't gonna say anything until I'd had a few details worked out, but I think I'm gonna go out on my own.
Start my own company.
Big Three Homes.
I just Doesn't feel like a very good time right now.
(chuckles) I think it's great.
I think you should do it.
(sighs) It's not that easy, Bec.
I mean what does this place even cost? We'll figure it out.
We'll figure it out we'll send Randall to another school, we'll get him a tutor, we'll do whatever we have to do.
All right.
I just don't want you to be unhappy.
- I mean it.
- Okay.
All right.
We'll come back.
(engine starts) This is nice.
REBECCA: It's very nice.
(typing on phone) Jemma, your mom told me that you would be giving me Ashley's address.
(phone chiming) Jemma, will you answer me? Jemma, I'm gonna need the address.
Why? - 'Cause you need to get back to work? - Yes.
And if I didn't value the work, I wouldn't be tolerating this attitude.
Just so we're clear.
(scoffs) What'd she tell you, you'd be an associate? And you thought my mom was gonna give you actual responsibilities, because a few C-list celebrities take your calls? Clearly she only hired you because she thinks the fat girl can get through to me.
Guess she figured, bigger the better.
You know, I actually feel bad for you.
(tires screech) What the hell? Yeah, well, don't feel bad for me, okay? 'Cause I have a ride home.
I'm sorry? Get out.
What? Get out of the damn car, Jemma, before I toss you out of it! Oh, and you know what? You can walk to Ashley's.
And fat girl to fat girl, if you keep up the pace, you can burn 417 calories an hour walking.
I love American cheese.
Mm.
- English cheese is so blue, it's angry.
- Yeah.
American cheese is like a a bed you can just fall into.
So, whose good-bye party is this anyway? Frank Pendergrass tree branch fell on him three days ago when he was jogging through Central Park.
Bang.
Dead.
- Well, that sucks.
- Mm-hmm.
You knew him how? Oh, I didn't.
No, the obituary gave the address of the service so, I thought Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second.
What are you trying to say? Hello.
I'm Frank's wife, Grace.
(quietly): Hi.
(American accent): Hi.
Uh, I'm Jessica.
- This is my husband, David.
- Oh.
Were you students of my husband? We actually met in his class.
- Oh.
- Right? Students.
Mm.
OLIVIA: Yeah, we were sitting in the front row, and we kept looking at each other, and then finally Frank stopped the class and said, "You two are distracting me.
Go outside, have sex, and come back when you're ready to learn something.
" (chuckles) Well, that sounds like Frank.
Yeah.
(quietly): Frank.
Thank you both so much for coming.
- KEVIN: Thank you for coming.
- I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
(normal voice): Well done.
No, no, no, hold on.
No, no, no.
You brought (whispers): You brought me to a stranger's funeral? - Memorial service.
- Whatever.
Why, huh? What, because I'm struggling with the grief scene? You said I would get there.
Yeah, well, I didn't say you'd get there on your own.
This is insane.
But thank you very much for the lesson.
I appreciate it.
Now I'm gonna go have a drink.
Enjoy your cheese.
Hey, baby, what happened to Jungle Book? It's over.
Well, Mommy snuck in a quick shower shh.
Got to get them in while you can, little bug.
You're so pretty.
(chuckles) Thank you, baby.
Well, if I'm pretty, you're pretty, 'cause we look alike.
Oh, can you get Mommy's yellow blouse, the one with the buttons? - Just in the closet? Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
(sighs): Ooh.
Thank you, bug.
Mwah.
Okay, I'm going to pick up Randall.
Good-bye, beautiful.
Bye, see you later.
All right, baby, I'm almost done getting ready.
Tonight, little man, you, me and a B-52? Okay! Okay, don't finish it; I got to help with something.
Sounds good.
(sighs, mumbles) I'm sorry.
I was, I was, uh People keep bringing me things, like I forgot how to cook.
Mm, there's no room in here and I don't know where to put all of Frank's food.
(sighs) You have a lot of pickles.
(chuckles) - I hate pickles.
- Mm-hmm.
But he loves them.
Yeah, he eats them in bed.
"Ate.
" He is now past tense.
He used to be "is.
" Now he is "was.
" Hey, I like pickles.
Good.
- Here.
- Okay.
How do you feel about holiday ties? And sport coats.
Because I asked Jeremy, but he said he didn't want anything of his dad's.
Yeah.
How old is Jeremy? Fifteen.
That's tough.
15 is tough.
Uh, my dad and I used to build models together, when I was a kid.
Yeah? Yeah, we'd build, um, planes and boats.
I used to pick the most complex ones B-52s, aircraft carriers 'cause they took the longest, you know? See, I was one of three kids, so you really had to strategize to get your alone time with Dad.
- (chuckles) - You know, and eventually, we had a whole fleet of them; we had just rows and rows, shelves of them.
You know, and then when he died when when he, when he died, I, um I I threw all the models away.
I threw every one of them away.
I don't know why why I did that, you know? You were how old? Uh, it was a long time ago.
I have, um I have this.
(sniffles) This necklace, this is his and, um, it's the only thing I have left of him.
And at first, you know, I didn't want to wear it, I wouldn't wear it, I wouldn't even look at it, but now it's It's all I have and I-I can't take it off now, so (sniffles) It's okay.
(crying) (sniffles) Oh, my God, this is so dumb.
What am I doing? I'm (sniffles) supposed to be comforting you, not snotting all over you.
(laughs) GRACE: Who are you again? - Hey.
- Hi.
Randall, - your daddy's here.
- RANDALL: We're almost done.
Best two out of three.
Okay.
Hey, thanks for thanks for having him.
Oh, I will take him as much as he'll have it.
Show my own boys what manners look like.
(chuckles) Okay.
Um Hey, did Rebecca tell you about his school? No.
What happened? I guess he scored off the charts on some tests, and now they want to uproot him during the school year, send him to some private academy.
You know, take him away from the other two.
Why? Is it, is it a boarding school? No.
No, it's, uh it's uniforms and a lot of little white kids marching around like it's Nazi Germany.
Oh, I see.
That's why you're running this by me.
What? You're looking for me to give you the black person seal of approval for any messed-up parenting decision you make.
How is it messed up? I just I don't want my son to feel more different.
Okay, so you just want to hold him back because he's black? No.
Absolutely not.
I Jack, - Randall is special.
- Yeah.
So, if you're looking for somebody to make you feel better about denying him a special opportunity, you may just have to find yourself another black person.
See you, guys.
Ready, Freddy.
Bye, Ms.
Yvette.
- Did you win? - Yep.
And I'll never forget the look on her face when I placed her child back into her arms.
Never.
So, yeah, that's what I do.
Day in and day out, I save children, just like you guys, from fires.
Thank you.
(crowd cheering) Let's give it up for Kendal's mom, Mandy! Yeah.
All right, okay, uh, up next is Tessa's dad, Randall, who is a weatherman.
(crowd murmuring) Oh, sorry, sorry.
Uh, strike that.
He's a weather trader.
I don't know what that is, but I think he's gonna tell us.
Here's Randall.
(applause) (clears throat) Hey, y'all.
Uh, yeah.
I'm a weather trader, which I know can be a little bit hard to explain, and so, um I wrote you guys a song about it.
I thought Daddy couldn't play the piano? Daddy cannot.
- (piano playing hesitantly) - If you Wait, mm, hold on one second.
Sorry about that.
Oh, sweet Jesus.
RANDALL: If you Mm.
One second, please.
If you've got a farm You should know the future cost of corn So buy yourself a contract to Protect your crops Rain, storm or snow Might affect your Summer crops, so Invest your money wisely You'll be safe Come on everybody.
- If you've got a farm - (crowd murmuring along) You should know the future cost of corn - Look away.
Just look away.
- So buy yourself a contract To protect your crops.
Ah, there you are.
I was with Grace.
Who? Grace.
Frank's wife.
Why? Because she's sad.
Her husband died.
Why are you mad at me? Because we shouldn't be here.
This is not a play.
You know, she's a real person.
I'm a real person.
Yeah, I can see that maybe for the first time.
What happened to you? What happened is my dad died.
That's what.
And I hated him for it.
And I couldn't eat for a month, and I used to wake myself up crying, so I could cry myself back to sleep again.
That's what happened.
Why do you push all of that away? You can't just kill the feelings like they're some creature that you're afraid of.
That pain is a part of you.
I can see it now.
I can feel it.
(moans softly) Sorry, pickle mouth.
I don't care.
Is Jemma okay? What? She's fine.
She said she had a really nice day with you.
Which I didn't believe for a second, because you didn't come back, so I pressed.
I am really sorry that I left her.
I can understand if you want to press charges for child abandonment.
God, don't even worry about it.
I've left her at three malls myself, and I've wanted to shove her out of the car on the freeway at least once.
I don't know what to do with her anymore.
I can't reach her.
Before yesterday, she's spoken seven words to me in two weeks.
And you heard them: "I see you hired the fat one.
" (sighs) Is that why you hired me? No! God, no.
Not entirely.
Yeah, I thought so.
I am not proud of it.
I am sorry and it's really not the only reason.
I-I liked your resume before I met you.
But, yeah.
I thought that maybe you'd be able to understand her.
Her issues.
Oh, my God, it sounds horrible when I say it out loud.
God, please don't quit.
(chuckles softly) No more personal stuff.
You saw my work; you know I can do it.
No more driving Jemma around.
Yu can afford an assistant for that.
- Done.
- And I want to chair the Butterfly Ball.
- It's yours.
- And I want an office.
- Okay.
- And I want an intern.
Okay, too far.
(sighs) I'll see you at 9:00 tomorrow.
Thank you.
(sighs) Hey, is Jemma still here? She's outside.
(softly): Okay.
Hello? Hello? Pearson Corporation.
Would you like to discuss the big deal? Well, I'm too busy.
You'll have to call back.
You love coming to work with Dad, huh? I wanted you here because I need your help with something.
Come here.
What's that? That is a house the company's working on.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
You see, uh You see, I don't know how many feet of two-by-four I'm gonna need for this wall right here.
You see how each how each inch is is three feet? 22 and a half feet.
Wow.
That's pretty cool, buddy.
Didn't know you were so good with numbers.
Wait, wait, wait.
Come here.
What about this wall right here? How many how many do I need for that? I don't know that one.
You knew how do it a second ago, now you don't? I don't know it, Dad.
I think you do.
I don't.
Randall, that's enough.
- Come here.
- I don't want to.
Look.
This wall, right here.
How much do I need? - I don't know.
I don't know.
- Tell me the answer.
How many feet? Tell me right now.
I don't know.
Damn, it, Randall, tell me the answer! (whispers): 34.
What's that? That's right.
Why are you pretending not to know this stuff, huh? Getting B's in math? Not letting people see how smart you are? I don't want to be different from them.
Different from who? Who, the kids at school? If if I get an A, I'll get ice cream, and Kate and Kevin won't.
And then they'll hate me.
Can I be honest with you? Man to man? You know, your mom and me, we always try to treat you kids the same.
Always have.
Hasn't always worked, because, well, you're not all the same.
You're adopted, and we don't talk about that enough.
'Cause to me, you are every part my son.
Maybe I.
.
I don't want you to feel like you stand out.
But I need you to know something.
I want you to stand out.
I want all of you to be as different as you can possibly be.
In all the best ways.
I love you as much as a human heart can, kiddo.
You are an exceptional young man.
So don't let your dad's poor choice make you feel afraid to be different.
Okay? Okay.
(whispers): Okay.
Sounds better when you put your fingers on it.
Hmm.
You know how, in the movies, when somebody's bad at something, but they don't want to be, and so they set their mind to it.
And then we see this montage of them practicing and practicing.
And then comes the big moment, and they're amazing, and everybody cheers.
I've seen a few movies like that, yeah.
I think I skipped the montage.
(both chuckle) When you first told me what you did for a living, man, I didn't understand a word.
Hand to God, I mean, you might as well have been speaking German.
But I was watching your face.
In my better days, I have met and played with some of the greatest musicians in the world.
And when they talked about music, their face looked like your face when you told me about whatever the hell it is you do.
But if it'll help, I can show you a thing or two on the piano.
That would be great.
- Oh, not tonight, just - Oh, right.
- It's late is the thing.
- Yeah.
No.
I got ya.
Good night.
Night.
(phone chiming) You don't have to say bye to me.
I didn't quit.
I know what you're going through.
Stop trying to have a moment with me.
So, my mom was skinny and gorgeous.
Well, is gorgeous.
She still gets hit on by everyone.
She once was asked if she was a model when she had the flu.
Pretty hard growing up with a mom like that.
I spent all my time comparing myself to her, and then I took it out on her.
And now we barely talk, and it sucks.
Hey, your mom's not perfect.
She has her stuff, and you have yours, but you got to cut her a break.
Or you're gonna regret it.
I promise.
Kate, will you please help me out? No, I hate this dress! I know.
I don't care that you hate it, though.
It's what's clean and what fits, - and it's what you're wearing.
- I hate you! Put it on, please; we're running late.
- Hey, Jack? - JACK: Yeah? - Randall? You guys are ready? - Yeah.
- We have to leave in five minutes.
- I know.
I got him.
You sure about this? Yeah, I'm sure.
Hey, listen to your mother.
See, you look great.
Come get your lunch, young lady.
Thank you.
Got it.
- See it? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Takes a little time, but (chuckles) you'll get the hang of it.
Here, look at me.
Looking sharp.
You ready for your first day? Are Kate and Kevin gonna ride with us? We're gonna drop them off, then we're gonna drop you off, and then we'll all be back together - after school, okay? - Okay.
Hey, wait.
Come here.
(whispers): We'll tuck this low.
Nice and comfortable.
Say bye to your mom.
(sighs) Hot, plump ones coming through.
Mm-hmm.
Whoo! Oh, um, Mom, I have a soccer practice after school today.
Yeah, I remember.
WILLIAM: Come on.
I have something to say.
Uh my dad put on a tie every day because he had to.
I put one on every day because I want to.
It's important you know that.
Maybe I don't run into burning buildings for a living, but to me, my work is challenging and exciting.
I will not apologize for the fact that it's hard to explain to people.
Okay, Daddy.
Uh, also, William, thank you for offering to teach me piano, but I don't think at this point in our relationship it would be healthy to introduce that dynamic.
And so, starting next Tuesday, I'm gonna be taking piano lessons from Mrs.
Perkins down the road.
There's gonna be a recital in the spring, and I hope that you will all come and support me in this.
What was that? That was a midlife crisis, baby.
But just a little one, so go on, eat your waffle.
(laughs) "Just a little one.
" That's good.
He-He's gonna take piano? Psst, hey! Brought you a cappuccino.
(sighs) Soy, yeah? - You're too kind.
- Yeah.
Also wanted to say that, uh You know, I wanted to say that I forgive you.
For the lesson.
Um What can I say? It worked.
- Mm, I'd say it did.
- Yeah.
But, um, that's not the only lesson.
No? Okay.
What happened between you and me is never gonna happen again.
Oh.
I-I thought I know you did, but this is who we are and all we are.
You're my husband, and I'm your dead wife.
And you will never sleep with her again.
Now, how does that make you feel? Sad.
Great.
Use that.
(whispers): Okay.
(sighs) - Hey.
- Hey.
So what was that about teleportation? Yeah, the teleportation and the freeze breath or, like, hot breath.
Hey, have fun.
Bye, Dad.
Love you.
What's up?