Time Hustler (2022) s01e06 Episode Script

The truth is, you're not Lampião.
But of course he's Lampião.
Lampião would know the fleur-de-lis
represents the cangaço.
You lied to everyone.
Even to me.
You made me believe I was in the cangaço.
But you were, right?
-Give me that.
-It's like a carnival.
Some people are in the stands,
some are in the crowd.
But everyone's having fun.
Enough of your jabbering!
Lieutenant Rufino,
lock this man up, whoever he is.
Let go of me!
My name is Virguley.
"Vir" from Virgulino,
and "Ley" from Ms. Leydinha.
I'm a simple delivery man
who wanted to be someone important.
Wow, such a creative name.
Hey, smarty-pants,
taking other people's belongings is wrong.
You're right. But I'm not the one
with Lampião's stash.
Well, I'm just holding it for him.
The only thief here is you!
And the only good thief is a dead thief.
May the vultures savor your corpse.
Whatever Lieutenant Rufino decides, goes.
Make your decision.
-Lock him up.
-There you go.
Just like that? No trial?
Honestly, I'm not one to keep secrets.
"Honestly"?
You've been lying all along
about who you are.
Who's gonna believe you?
Only this bunch of fools.
I did see something wrong with him.
You must understand,
he's completely half-baked.
He snores, farts, and drools.
He's got facial tics and pubic sores,
but he's ultimately a good person.
-Lieutenant Rufino, arrest them all!
-Hang on!
Arrest me, but let them go.
And I'm onto you, okay?
As the law-enforcement here,
I will behead Captain and his gang
with a dull, rusty knife,
ensuring a slow death
and an afterlife of tetanus!
Rufino, you'll really kill Virguley
and his gang?
Except the colonel's children.
If you kill everyone,
you'll have to kill us too.
He says he wants to be the first to die.
Enough!
Amália, my little genius.
Amaro, my only son, my macho man.
Amélia, my youngest cutie-pie.
Forget about the cangaço!
Can't you see he's an impostor?
Let's go home.
I'd rather be beheaded
than go back to living with you.
-He's taken after me.
-Hooray, let's be beheaded!
Hooray!
Shut your mouth, numskull!
See?
He's destroyed
our traditional family values.
Arrest everyone. No exceptions.
Mariá, you told me
we'd have to choose sides.
Now tell me, who chose the right side?
Easy for you to say,
with men helping you arrest
an unarmed gang.
This is still wrong to me.
What's right, then?
What's right?
A duel.
-A duel?
-Why a duel?
A duel, huh?
A knife duel between you and Virguley.
That's how real men settle things here.
-No! We can't accept that.
-Don't interfere, Colonel.
Didn't you say
whatever Rufino decides, goes?
-So stay out of it.
-How rude.
If Virguley wins, you let him go,
and we'll all leave these lands.
Now, if you win…
I'll marry you.
For real?
-In the church.
-Mariá's getting married!
Shut up!
Then I accept!
I accept the knife duel.
Then it's decided!
The duel will take place this afternoon,
in the heart of Caatingueiras.
The last living man alive wins.
A NETFLIX SERIES
I said I'd marry you
if you won the duel, not before.
We'll definitely marry, 'cause I'll win.
Why are we in church?
Brother Menino
will watch you until I return.
-We'll see about that.
-What? You think I can't win?
Respect the saint.
Rufino, this is all
a silly misunderstanding.
-Can't you see Colonel's using you again?
-But he's the only one who cares about me.
I'm a lawman thanks to his goodwill.
Poor thing.
God, how can you be so foolish?
Colonel only made you a lieutenant
to avoid dirtying his own hands.
Lieutenant, colonel, governor.
It doesn't matter what title he gives you.
You know why?
-Why?
-Because you'll always be his henchman!
But you said I'm free to decide.
And I'm not.
Uh-huh.
You asked for the duel
and promised to marry me.
No one's forcing you.
We're doing what you want.
-Now he's got you.
-Yeah.
If you're doing what I want,
let Virguley and the gang go free.
Oh, Rufino, if you do that…
I'll marry you anyway.
Now I'm confused.
-You afraid he'll die forever?
-I'm also afraid you'll die, dummy.
I made this duel thing up
to buy us some time.
So we could talk this through.
He's afraid of the duel, girl.
I'm a real man, Mariá!
I'm gonna show you and everyone else
I'm braver than that damn impostor!
Oh, Brother,
I put my foot in it.
-I don't know what to do.
-Come.
Praise the saint.
She's our mother.
I swear, I didn't mean
to drag you all into this mess.
Grandma used to say,
"He who swears is a liar."
-It's the truth.
-The truth is, you're not Lampião.
And we're all fools
who thought we were cangaceiros.
Haven't you heard
that dishonesty killed the cat?
It's "curiosity killed the cat."
And we're the ones getting killed,
all because of this liar.
-Liar.
-I always figure things out, right?
-Rufino'll kill you.
-It'll all work out.
-I see we're all gonna die.
-You bunch of wimps.
-Can't even die with dignity.
-He says he can.
-You really think that?
-Yes!
No. Yes!
Let me show you
what I've learned in various classes.
I doubt Rufino can kill me.
-What the heck is that?
-Beats me.
Why didn't he teach us that?
Rufino can't beat him.
He's such a good dancer.
What a joke.
Come on, Rufino!
Rufino!
No!
No, stop! Wait! It's me.
Breathe! It's me.
Take it easy, Rufino. Just breathe.
I need your help, Brother.
I don't want Virguley to die.
I don't want Rufino to die either.
But I don't wanna marry him.
My dear, Rufino is not a bad man.
He likes you. He'll make a great husband.
What's the problem?
The problem?
The problem is that my heart
belongs to someone else.
Even though he lied
and made a fool out of me,
I can't ignore my feelings for him.
I'm so angry!
-I love Virguley.
-My heavens!
-Heavens?
-After everything he's done?
He's made trouble.
But he's done a lot of good things too.
-He did?
-He did.
He let those goofballs into the gang,
distributed goods to the needy,
improved Zé Bofão's sales.
Well, my dear,
he might've done good deeds,
but he still misbehaved.
Though nobody's perfect.
Praise God.
I see.
-What, my dear?
-Oh, nothing.
Remember the plan.
Feel free to cut him, gut him,
or even hang his balls up a tree,
but don't kill him.
We need him as bait to get rid of Lampião.
The duel will buy us time
and entertain the guards, building morale.
-If I don't kill him, I can't marry Mariá.
-Why not?
That wasn't the deal.
Oh, Rufino.
Rufino,
you need to understand
how winning and losing works, Rufino.
Even if he wins, he loses. Understand?
-No. Not really.
-Yeah, as I thought.
Look at this imbu tree.
Picture his nuts up there.
Why did I suggest a duel?
Do you think
he really regrets lying to everyone?
He turned himself in.
He tried to save the gang.
But why did he use Lampião's name
to do the colonel's bidding?
I hadn't thought about that.
I can't do anything about his death.
But about your marriage to Rufino,
I have an idea
that might help you get out of it.
Tell me.
People of Caatingueiras,
the duel of the year is about to start.
They'll fight with the same weapons.
There's just one rule,
if the knife cuts through the guts
and comes back out covered in shit,
the wounded has half a minute to die.
Any questions? None.
Get ready.
Crap!
-Come back here, you weasel!
-Let me through!
How's this a duel?
It's more like a cockfight.
Two dumb chickens pecking at each other.
Come on!
His throat!
-Ouch!
-His guts!
His chest!
His nuts!
Get up, man.
-Tear him to pieces!
-He's like a frog.
-Get back to your corner.
-Die, bastard!
-Now we're screwed.
-Go, Rufino!
Take this!
-Oh boy!
-Yikes.
It's in the rules.
Get out of the way, tubby!
Come on.
Go, you imp.
Boost me up!
-Thanks!
-He's like a circus freak.
Come on, you numskull!
Come on!
Stop stalling!
Come on.
What ridiculous moves. Come on.
You're not even trying.
The hell's that?
What the heck is he doing?
Surrender! Say your prayers. Come on, man.
He won! He actually won!
Just give up.
-I yield!
-Lower me, slowly.
You jackass.
-I yield.
-Who's the captain?
You are, sir.
-So implausible.
-People really aren't "applausing."
-We're not gonna die.
-Gang, you're free!
And the winner is…
the impostor.
God!
-Hey, you coward! He won!
-Last man standing wins.
-And the winner is Lieutenant Rufino.
-He hit him from behind.
That's not fair.
You jerk.
The bride is mine.
And the stash is mine.
So he's really dead?
Dead and gone.
I told you I'd win.
May God have mercy
on that poor man's soul.
He's gonna be eaten by vultures.
Carcasses are for vultures.
His body's in the old cattle shed.
What about the gang?
They're tied up in the heart of town.
Leave that for later.
Let's move on with this wedding.
Come on, Brother.
Brother!
I can't do it, my son.
And why is that?
I can't do it
if the bride's not in a white dress.
Dear God, Brother.
This is no time for superstition.
Shouldn't virgins marry in white?
-Do you wanna marry me?
-Yeah.
Then do it properly.
Damn it!
-Did you notice anything about Papa?
-He's lost a few bounds.
A few "pounds," girl.
But he was acting strange.
Like he had a plan like the ones I have.
Who will be first?
Do me. Please!
The first one to die, dummy.
Heaven help us, Padre Cícero.
Don't shoot her. Kill me first.
I can't watch her die.
Me neither.
-Why don't you kill us already?
-I'm waiting for the end of the wedding.
As soon as the couple step out,
all of you'll become rice for us to toss.
-Why aren't you using your real voice?
-I wanna scare them.
-Go to the church. I'll take care of them.
-Leave it to me.
Man up, damn it!
Don't be such a wimp!
Good God Almighty.
You're the most beautiful bride
I've ever seen.
-Come on, Brother. Get on with it.
-Already?
-I've waited long enough.
-There's still a problem, son.
We can't have a wedding without witnesses.
Well, that's true.
Why don't you have your troops
attend the wedding?
So, besides the witnesses,
we'll also have guests.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Come.
Put down your guns, we're about to begin.
-Begin?
-Yes, the prayer.
-Prayer?
-What prayer?
We'll pray the Rosary.
On your feet. We shall pray the Rosary
before the wedding.
There's no need.
You work with bullets, I with prayer.
Who's the friar here, me or you?
If I say we'll pray the Rosary,
that's what we'll do.
Gotta absolve your sins, Rufino.
You just killed a man.
What did you expect?
I won't marry a murderer
who hasn't been forgiven by God.
-Okay. But don't take long.
-Close your eyes.
And let me warn you,
whoever takes a peek will get pneumonia,
mumps, and smallpox in their testicles.
-What are those?
-Don't know.
I don't know either, Brother.
Your nuts!
I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
creator of Heaven and Earth.
And in Jesus Christ.
And in Jesus Christ, His only Son…
our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born from Virgin "Mariá"…
Mariá!
…suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended into the earth.
The third day, He rose from the dead.
He ascended into Heaven,
and sits at the right hand of God,
the Father Almighty,
from thence He shall come
to judge the living and the dead…
You can't even die properly, Virguley.
Father?
-Did I die?
-Were you to die, you'd go to purgatory.
Doesn't it smell like this?
I only remember being hit on my noggin.
It's all Rufino's fault.
No. It's your fault!
-I know.
-Wait, what?
I just wanted a chance
to be someone important.
I was brought here, and I failed.
So it's my fault.
You're not gonna blame me
like you always do?
No more pretending.
How can I blame you?
You're the voice of my conscience.
You don't wanna talk to me anymore?
Stop being so dramatic.
How could I stop talking to myself?
I'm always gonna push your buttons.
And your robe's full of them.
Thirty-three, to be precise.
Oh, I don't want you to die.
Me neither.
If I had a second chance,
I'd do everything differently.
For the gang, and especially for Mariá.
Wish I knew how.
Oh, Virguley.
"He who has the answer and doesn't know it
is just as lost as he who never knew."
Remember, sometimes,
by looking back,
you can see a clearer path
through what lies ahead.
-Ahead?
-What, no?
I'm gonna gouge out your eyes
with a cactus thorn.
That'll show you.
If you gouge them out,
how are you gonna show us?
-Silly man.
-Drop your weapon!
Shoot him in the nuts!
Mariá, I can't believe you.
You didn't invite me to your wedding.
Let's run for our lives.
We will, Waze.
But first, I'll bid farewell to Virguley.
Run it by the vultures first.
They're feasting on that liar.
Watch it. He gave you dignity and respect.
He lied about who he really was,
but he shared our hardships.
-He did.
-True.
It took me a while to understand this.
But he's dead now.
He paid for everything he did
and didn't do.
He even kicked Rufino's ass
just to save us.
What's that, Bumper?
Virguley won the fight
and refused to kill Rufino,
who took advantage
and hit him with a fatal blow.
Well, in that case,
we'll honor that man
by becoming real cangaceiros.
-Who's with me?
-Me!
I am!
Hey, hold on!
How can we be cangaceiros
when we don't have weapons?
-And Colonel's our enemy.
-The troops are in church, eyes closed.
All we gotta do is get in there,
sneak by them,
and get the weapons by the altar.
We need a plan.
Then come with me.
I have a plan, and it's foolproof.
Oh, my dear Padre Cícero.
So it is true. The man is gone.
-The bride!
-"The bride."
-No, just say "amen."
-The bride's gone!
-The bride's gone?
-Gone! Let's go get her!
Hold on.
Weren't you fiends all tied up?
Papa let us go. We've left the cangaço.
-Tell me where Mariá is.
-The only one who's seen Mariá is…
I saw everything with my nuts.
Wordy will tell you all about it.
-I think I get it.
-No, you don't.
-Yeah, I don't.
-He said…
What the hell's he saying?
It has towns, but it has no home.
It has rivers, but it can't swim.
It has roads, but it can't walk.
Who am I?
Do you even know?
A map, mister.
One bone, two bones, a trench, and a well.
-Well.
-Stop with the sissy stuff, Amaro!
A map is a graphical representation
of a terrain or territory.
Where is Mariá?
She could be over there,
or over there,
or over there, or even over there.
Wanna know where Mariá is?
-Yes! Tell me.
-Just tell us.
-What?
-Let me tell you why I won't tell you.
-Why?
-Because I don't know.
You pigs better not move,
or I'll shoot you between your eyes.
He wasn't exactly
handsome or charming.
He wasn't brave,
and he didn't smell great.
But he won my heart
by being a good person.
Oh, Father,
if I'm on the right path, give me a sign.
Mercy! Begone, spirit!
Tell me who you are
or I'll shoot you dead!
If you die a second time,
you're either stubborn, or deserving,
or you've been blackmailed.
-Blackmailed by whom?
-By Colonel.
He made me do those bad things.
If I hadn't, he'd have called Lampião,
who'd grind me alive
and turn me into ramen seasoning.
But the hardest part was having to lie
to the woman I love the most.
Yeah?
And who's that?
My girl's prudent and forward-thinking.
She's prettier
than Gisele Bündchen in makeup.
Braver than Anderson Silva
in the MMA octagon.
More skilled than Pelé
in the 1970 World Cup.
Those all sound like compliments, I think.
If that person is me,
then "I do."
Oh Mariá, of course it's you.
Who else could it be?
Do you forgive me?
I'll think about it.
What's this about blackmail?
Why didn't you mention it before?
I tried, but Colonel started
grunting and growling like he does.
He was all fired up, and I got upset.
I see.
And,
that thing you just said…
was it all true?
I swear on my life.
Everything I did was because of him.
-That's not what I meant, dummy.
-What then?
That I am
the woman you love.
You're the most important person
in the world for me.
Can I ask you something?
You don't have to ask.
Wasn't that it?
I was gonna ask you to run and leave me,
but this was way better.
-A ghost!
-That's no ghost.
It's the smell of a living person.
-And he stinks just like Virguley.
-I'm alive, people!
Colonel's to blame for everything.
Virguley is innocent.
I knew Papa was behind it.
Let's flee before the troops come.
No. Don't worry, Bumper.
I blindsided them.
We need a hideout for the night.
Gia's Hole is too obvious.
If we can't go there, where can we go?
How about Deep Hole?
You immoral imbecile.
This is no time for that!
Nice, Lockdown. Deep Hole Cave.
That's a great idea.
-It's close to where we found the stash.
-Let's go, cangaceiros!
Let's go!
You coward.
You good-for-nothing.
You're as useless as tits on a boar!
You can't treat me like this
in front of my men!
Your men?
So you're a coward and a dumbass.
I knew it.
A stupid hick like you
could never be depended on
to carry out my plans.
So you've been using me all this time?
From this day forward,
you're no longer a lieutenant!
You're a disgrace to the troops!
Calm down, Tibúrcio. It's all right.
Hold on, Tibúrcio.
Calm down, Tibúrcio.
Hold on. It's all right.
Lampião is coming to take revenge
on the impostor and his friends.
We'll let him rampage for a while,
then, we'll come in as heroes,
and we'll restore our reputation.
Rampage?
Rampage?
But the police should uphold the law!
I am the law!
Forgive me, Saint.
Forgive me, but I hate ignorance.
Now I'm completely sure!
The cangaceiros are on the right side!
Oh yeah?
In that case,
if you wanna join them,
you'll be sharing their fate.
Six feet under.
And don't come back to this town,
you goddamn wimp!
They will learn.
They will learn.
For our families.
For my late wife, Taís Fregano.
For peace in my beloved Caatingueiras.
I shall conquer this land!
Now, there's no other way.
I will kill both Lampiões.
IN MEMORY OF