Top Cat (1961) s01e06 Episode Script
The Missing Heir
"The fortune left to the missing heir is rumored to be "in the neighborhood of a $1 million.
" That's a pretty fancy neighborhood.
Right, Benny? I'm hungry.
At a time like this you think of your stomach? What am I doing? I just struck a millionaire.
Forgive me, sir.
I'm a fool, sir.
A fool! You don't have to call me "sir," TC.
B.
B.
will do.
"Since the heir has been missing more than three years "the fortune will be divided equally between the butler Chutney -"and the dog Griswold.
" -Let me see that.
Listen to this.
"Deadline for the missing heir to claim the fortune is noon today.
" -What time is it? Quickly, Brain.
-Let me see.
If the little hand is straight up -and the big hand is on nine-- -Forget it.
Grab that millionaire.
We can just make it.
Hello? Yes.
Officer Dibble? This is his answering service.
May I take a message? All right, Top Cat, on your feet.
I caught you this time.
Hold the line, Sergeant.
I think I hear him now.
Get off of that phone, before I run you in.
Dibble, please.
Can't you see I'm talking? Watch that, boy.
-By the way, it's for you.
-Not really.
And who else would it be for, you blockhead? No, not you, Sergeant.
I'm sorry, sir.
Yeah.
Everything is quiet on the block.
By the way, Sarge, isn't today the last day to collect that reward? Reward? Reward? He just said the magic word.
I could sure use it.
I'll keep my eyes open.
So long, Sarge.
Tell me, Officer Dibble, sir, what is this reward bit? Wouldn't you like to know? It just so happens that this reward I intend to collect to myself.
Such selfishness! I seem to feel the day's first hunger pangs.
And what is this? Breakfast delivered nearly to my door.
And now for my morning paper.
May as well see what the people are doing.
"Bandit steals money and flees.
" Wonder what he wants with fleas.
And this want ad.
"Dog for sale.
Good watchdog.
Will eat anything.
"Especially fond of children.
" lmagine that.
How about this? How about this! So that's the reward Dibble is after.
I gotta save him from this.
Why, he's just likely to give the reward to some charity who'll just turn around and give it to some needy creature.
Like me for instance.
I'll just eliminate the middleman, Officer Dibble that is and go after the reward myself.
I better call a conference with the group.
And, Fancy, darling do you promise never to leave me again? Honey, babydoll what could ever make me leave you? Top Cat, that's what! Men.
Phooey! Top Cat! Let's move, you guys! This is an emergency! Yeah, you guys.
Let's move.
Hiya, Top Cat.
That's what I like, Brain: Punctuality, a sign of fine character.
Thanks, T.
C.
That's T.
C.
calling a meeting at the summit.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Come, fellas.
You'll have to be quicker than that.
Where's the nimble, where's the quick? You're sluggish.
You've got to be on the ball.
Ball? By the way where is he? Where is Benny the Ball? -Have you seen him, Choo Choo? -Not since the bingo game, T.
C.
Spook? -Well, no.
-How about you, Fancy? Sorry, T.
C.
He's not my type.
All I've seen for three days are girls.
Lots of girls.
Brain? I want you to think, Brain.
Now just take your time and tell me.
Have you seen Benny the Ball? -Well, l-- -Good.
Where? Now take your time.
Uptown? Downtown? Have you seen him anywhere? Just take your time.
-Nope.
-That's too bad.
Just means one less guy to cut in on this little gem I found in the paper.
T.
C.
! Hold it! It's me, Benny.
Don't tell me.
Let me guess.
You've been eating again.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, T.
C.
You're sorry.
How do you think I feel? I'm getting a little tired of playing mother hen to you guys.
All right.
Let me have the pepper, somebody, quickly.
-Here you are, T.
C.
-Yeah, this will do it.
All right, stand back, you guys, for Operation Blastoff.
Thanks, T.
C.
Welcome.
All right now, pay attention, you guys, and we're gonna move in on it.
Listen to this.
"Eccentric millionaire leaves fortune to missing pet.
" -Who should be so lucky.
-So what, T.
C.
? So pay attention, that's, "so what.
" "Large reward offered to anyone returning missing heir.
" I still say, so what, T.
C.
? I'm gonna "so what" you in a minute if you don't keep quiet.
Now let's just get moving.
Spook, you cover the East Side.
The Brain goes uptown.
Fancy, you cover the West Side.
-Boy, that's Shirley's neighborhood.
-Forget Shirley.
This is business, remember? And, Benny, I got a thought on where you can go, but I'll save it.
Can I ask you a question, T.
C.
? Of course you can.
That shows you're thinking, boy.
Ask away.
What does this missing heir look like, T.
C.
? That's a very good question.
I'm glad you asked.
I was testing you.
Let me see, now.
Where's the description? Yeah, here it is.
"Short," like Benny.
"Not too bright," that's our Benny.
"And he answers to the name of Cadwallader.
" No wonder he disappeared.
One more thing.
He's got a birthmark on his right foot like Benny.
Now I want you all to spread out.
Mingle with the crowds and bring back the missing.
Cadwallader! Who? Who, me? You poor, lost creature.
-I ain't lost, T.
C.
-Of course you are.
But lucky you, you've been found, and by your true friends.
Who, of course, you won't forget when you get the money.
Right? -What money? -Isn't that sweet? Isn't that adorable? He doesn't understand.
This birthmark on your foot means that you are the missing heir you are wealthy beyond your widest dreams.
-How do you feel? -I don't feel nothing.
He don't feel nothing.
How do you like that? The modesty of the one to the manor born.
All right.
Come on, you clods, quick.
Some pillows, incense, myrrh.
We have a millionaire in our midst.
Listen to this, T.
C.
"The fortune left to the missing heir is rumored to be "in the neighborhood of a $1 million.
" That's a pretty fancy neighborhood.
Right, Benny? I'm hungry.
At a time like this you think of your stomach? What am I doing? I just struck a millionaire.
Forgive me, sir.
I lost my head.
I'll have it sharpened right away.
I'm a fool, sir.
A fool.
You don't have to call me "sir," T.
C.
B.
B.
will do.
It also says: "Since the heir has been missing more than three years "it is assumed that he is dead.
"In which case, the fortune will be divided equally "between the remaining faithful retainers "the butler Chutney and the dog Griswold.
" Let me see that.
"Divided equally between the butler Chutney "and the dog Griswold"? How do you like that? First, it's Dibble.
Now Griswold and Chutney.
I tell you, it's getting too crowded in the reward business.
Listen to this.
"Deadline for the missing heir to claim the fortune is noon today.
" -What time is it? Quickly, Brain.
-Let me see.
If the little hand is straight up -and the big hand is on nine.
-Forget it.
Grab that millionaire.
We can just make it.
Hup, two, three, four! Shift into high, boys.
Hup, two, three, four.
Faster! Don't lag, boys.
"And since the rightful heir is presumed departed "his legal claims terminate at 12:00 noon today "or in exactly seven minutes.
" Excuse me, sir.
I'll see who's at the door.
All right, boys.
Hands out of pockets straighten those ties.
Let's look good, lads.
Try to act like millionaires.
-Who is it, please? -Who is it? It is I, T.
C come to claim the fortune for my missing heir client.
None other than Cadwallader, to wit, half-wit, forthwith ad lib, and habeas corpus, etcetera.
One moment, sir.
Boys, the gates of wealth swing wide open.
-Who was it, Chutney? -Some beggars, sir.
Just asking for it.
A hand-out, that is.
All right, men, and I use the term loosely, we gotta move fast.
You heard of a man being shot out of a cannon? We're gonna shoot Benny on a short sub-orbital jaunt over the wall.
Choo Choo, I want you to pick me up an old football helmet.
Right, T.
C.
Fancy, I want some blasting powder they're using to build a new freeway.
Gotcha.
-Spook, I need an old trash can.
-I'm gone.
-Brain, I need a fuse.
-Where will I get a fuse? Where? How should I know? You're on a million-dollar scavenger hunt.
Go find a fuse.
All right, pay attention.
We got eight seconds to clear this wall and claim the dough.
You're all set, Benny? -Can I have a countdown, T.
C.
? -Sure, you can.
Three, two, one.
Hi.
Take me to your leader, lawyer.
-Who are you? -Does that ring a bell? -Cadwallader! -Cadwallader? Your description fits the appearance of the long missing Cadwallader.
I suggest you remain here until I establish this legally.
Loyal Chutney and devoted Griswold will care for you.
That we will, sir.
Sleep tight, Master Cadwallader.
And if you want anything, just ring for me.
Gee, thanks.
-Good night, sir.
-Good night to you, too, sir.
Remember, just pull the rope.
Thanks.
I'll remember.
What a nice guy.
Maybe I'll ring for some hot milk.
I'll probably sleep better.
-You rang, sir? -Yeah and look what happened.
Termites, sir.
King-sized.
I'll get you a new pillow.
Good.
The master is asleep.
Follow me, Griswold.
Rock-a-bye, baby, on the top floor We're going to drop you, and you'll be no more.
Easy.
All right.
Together.
Have a good trip, sir.
Gee whiz.
I'm beginning to think this millionaire routine is all wet.
Awful.
Patience, Griswold.
I shall put an end to both Master Cadwallader and that horrible music at the same time.
Shucks! I got you.
Yeah, well, thanks anyway.
How do you like that? Every time I call Benny the butler gives me "the master's indisposed" bit.
What a fair-weather friend Benny turned out to be.
While he dallies in fox hunts and lawn parties we sit here starving.
I tell you, if he wasn't so rich, I'd just cut off our friendship.
Chutney, did you hear from my friend, Top Cat, yet? No, sir, Master Cadwallader.
No calls at all.
Maybe, they're through with me because I'm loaded.
But I'll show them I'm the same old Benny.
I'm gonna throw a party and invite T.
C.
and the whole bunch.
An excellent idea.
I'll attend to the details, sir.
It's quite simple, Griswold.
This dynamite is wired to a certain key in the piano.
And when Master Cadwallader hits that certain note.
We eliminate the master and all his friends and the money will be mine.
I mean, ours.
All right, Top Cat.
What are you up to now? I haven't seen you so clean since I frisked you for my law citation book.
That's very cute, Officer Dibble, sir.
It's nice to know the long arm of the law has a funny bone.
-But for your misinformation, Dribble-- -It's Dibble.
All right, Dibble, we just received this engraved invitation to a party at the home of our wealthy friend Cadwallader formerly known as Benny the Ball.
Benny the Ball? Wealthy? I'll stake my badge on it being phony somehow.
Come on, fellows, we'll grab a cab.
I'm warning you, T.
C.
Stay out of trouble.
If it wasn't for trouble, you'd be out of a job.
You're a riot, Top Cat.
You'll wow them down at the station house if I catch you in any trouble tonight.
-Excuse me, is this your cab? -That's right.
I think you should know I just saw a guy trying to flag down a cab at the Richly place.
Richly place? Oh, boy! I'll get right over there.
-Thanks for the tip, pal.
-Only too glad to help, friend.
Hold on tight, Brain.
And I call her Smitty for short.
-How about a dance, Benny? -I don't know how.
-Luckily.
-I'll teach you.
I'm a dance instructor for Martha Furry.
Gee, that's the first time I ever danced the judo.
Top Cat here, I mean, Dribble here.
Officer Dibble.
Someone disturbing the peace at the Richly place? I know just who it is, Sarge.
I'll get down there right away.
Boy.
Imagine getting the goods on Top Cat for the first time.
All right, gang.
Simmer down.
As an extra added attraction our richly-talented friend Cadwallader formerly Benny, will play us a little tune on the 88.
Thanks, fellows.
I really only know one tune.
He doesn't know it but he's going to play his own obituary.
Sorry, fellows.
I'll start all over again.
That stupid.
Oh, no.
Not again! Not that way.
Like this.
Griswold can take the rap for that explosion.
I'll take the $1 million and beat it.
And with the help of this little gadget I'll leave enough evidence to put the blame on that stupid dog.
A few dozen incriminating paw prints should do the trick.
Why, you.
Help! Somebody help me! Help! This is one rap Top Cat won't beat.
I just gotta keep cool.
Mustn't tip my hand.
Gotta surprise him.
All right, T.
C.
You're under arrest.
Help! Machine Gun Chutney! We've been after you for years.
You're under arrest, Chutney.
Now, that's what I call a pip of an entrance, Dibble.
-What are you going to do for an encore? -I'll tend to you later, Top Cat after I collect the reward for this crook.
Reward for Chutney? How did I miss that? Well, what do we need with a paltry reward when we have a wealthy friend like Benny? All right, everybody.
Back to the music, mirth, hilarity.
Fun.
Fun.
Fun.
-See who it is, will you, Benny? -Okay, T.
C.
Maybe it is Officer Dibble trying to crash the party.
Hiya, Mr.
Lawyer.
Who's this? -This is Cadwallader.
-Cad what? It couldn't be.
There must be a mistake.
No mistake, sir.
An officer just brought in Chutney who confessed that he tried to do away with Cadwallader -three years ago.
-Very clever.
Beautiful.
But I'm afraid you opportunity-seekers are a bit late with your impostor.
This Benny person is the impostor.
And my client is the real Cadwallader.
Yeah? Does he have a birthmark or reasonable facsimile thereof -to wit and stuff like that there? -Indeed we have.
Show him, Cadwallader.
There is the proof.
A birthmark on the sole of his foot.
A crude imitation of the real thing.
Such as we have right here.
-Chewing gum? -Chewing gum? Yeah.
Chewing gum.
Well, for a while there, we almost had it $1 million in the palm of my hand.
But Bubblehead Benny turns out to be an impostor.
-I'm sorry, T.
C.
-"I'm sorry, T.
C.
" You're sorry, but Dibble winds up with the reward while we wind up with nothing.
Look who's here! It's good old Cadwallader.
-Hiya, fellers.
-Now let me do the talking, you guys.
We might salvage a few hundred thousand yet.
Cadwallader, Your Majesty.
Imagine running into you down here.
Small world, isn't it? I was thinking that if it were possible I'd like to join your good group.
Well, sir, this is just your lucky day.
We just happened to have one membership left.
And since we know you to be a reputable type we'll just skip the usual assessments and get right down to the exorbitant initiation fee.
But I don't have any more money.
Excuse me.
For a minute, I thought I heard you say -you have no more money.
-That's right.
I gave away the money.
I wanna be just like you guys.
Will you repeat that again slowly? I gave away the money.
Oh, boy.
What's the matter, T.
C.
? You look sick.
I always look like this when I lose $1 million.
Good night, fellows.
Don't call me early.
I'm feeling sick.
" That's a pretty fancy neighborhood.
Right, Benny? I'm hungry.
At a time like this you think of your stomach? What am I doing? I just struck a millionaire.
Forgive me, sir.
I'm a fool, sir.
A fool! You don't have to call me "sir," TC.
B.
B.
will do.
"Since the heir has been missing more than three years "the fortune will be divided equally between the butler Chutney -"and the dog Griswold.
" -Let me see that.
Listen to this.
"Deadline for the missing heir to claim the fortune is noon today.
" -What time is it? Quickly, Brain.
-Let me see.
If the little hand is straight up -and the big hand is on nine-- -Forget it.
Grab that millionaire.
We can just make it.
Hello? Yes.
Officer Dibble? This is his answering service.
May I take a message? All right, Top Cat, on your feet.
I caught you this time.
Hold the line, Sergeant.
I think I hear him now.
Get off of that phone, before I run you in.
Dibble, please.
Can't you see I'm talking? Watch that, boy.
-By the way, it's for you.
-Not really.
And who else would it be for, you blockhead? No, not you, Sergeant.
I'm sorry, sir.
Yeah.
Everything is quiet on the block.
By the way, Sarge, isn't today the last day to collect that reward? Reward? Reward? He just said the magic word.
I could sure use it.
I'll keep my eyes open.
So long, Sarge.
Tell me, Officer Dibble, sir, what is this reward bit? Wouldn't you like to know? It just so happens that this reward I intend to collect to myself.
Such selfishness! I seem to feel the day's first hunger pangs.
And what is this? Breakfast delivered nearly to my door.
And now for my morning paper.
May as well see what the people are doing.
"Bandit steals money and flees.
" Wonder what he wants with fleas.
And this want ad.
"Dog for sale.
Good watchdog.
Will eat anything.
"Especially fond of children.
" lmagine that.
How about this? How about this! So that's the reward Dibble is after.
I gotta save him from this.
Why, he's just likely to give the reward to some charity who'll just turn around and give it to some needy creature.
Like me for instance.
I'll just eliminate the middleman, Officer Dibble that is and go after the reward myself.
I better call a conference with the group.
And, Fancy, darling do you promise never to leave me again? Honey, babydoll what could ever make me leave you? Top Cat, that's what! Men.
Phooey! Top Cat! Let's move, you guys! This is an emergency! Yeah, you guys.
Let's move.
Hiya, Top Cat.
That's what I like, Brain: Punctuality, a sign of fine character.
Thanks, T.
C.
That's T.
C.
calling a meeting at the summit.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Come, fellas.
You'll have to be quicker than that.
Where's the nimble, where's the quick? You're sluggish.
You've got to be on the ball.
Ball? By the way where is he? Where is Benny the Ball? -Have you seen him, Choo Choo? -Not since the bingo game, T.
C.
Spook? -Well, no.
-How about you, Fancy? Sorry, T.
C.
He's not my type.
All I've seen for three days are girls.
Lots of girls.
Brain? I want you to think, Brain.
Now just take your time and tell me.
Have you seen Benny the Ball? -Well, l-- -Good.
Where? Now take your time.
Uptown? Downtown? Have you seen him anywhere? Just take your time.
-Nope.
-That's too bad.
Just means one less guy to cut in on this little gem I found in the paper.
T.
C.
! Hold it! It's me, Benny.
Don't tell me.
Let me guess.
You've been eating again.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, T.
C.
You're sorry.
How do you think I feel? I'm getting a little tired of playing mother hen to you guys.
All right.
Let me have the pepper, somebody, quickly.
-Here you are, T.
C.
-Yeah, this will do it.
All right, stand back, you guys, for Operation Blastoff.
Thanks, T.
C.
Welcome.
All right now, pay attention, you guys, and we're gonna move in on it.
Listen to this.
"Eccentric millionaire leaves fortune to missing pet.
" -Who should be so lucky.
-So what, T.
C.
? So pay attention, that's, "so what.
" "Large reward offered to anyone returning missing heir.
" I still say, so what, T.
C.
? I'm gonna "so what" you in a minute if you don't keep quiet.
Now let's just get moving.
Spook, you cover the East Side.
The Brain goes uptown.
Fancy, you cover the West Side.
-Boy, that's Shirley's neighborhood.
-Forget Shirley.
This is business, remember? And, Benny, I got a thought on where you can go, but I'll save it.
Can I ask you a question, T.
C.
? Of course you can.
That shows you're thinking, boy.
Ask away.
What does this missing heir look like, T.
C.
? That's a very good question.
I'm glad you asked.
I was testing you.
Let me see, now.
Where's the description? Yeah, here it is.
"Short," like Benny.
"Not too bright," that's our Benny.
"And he answers to the name of Cadwallader.
" No wonder he disappeared.
One more thing.
He's got a birthmark on his right foot like Benny.
Now I want you all to spread out.
Mingle with the crowds and bring back the missing.
Cadwallader! Who? Who, me? You poor, lost creature.
-I ain't lost, T.
C.
-Of course you are.
But lucky you, you've been found, and by your true friends.
Who, of course, you won't forget when you get the money.
Right? -What money? -Isn't that sweet? Isn't that adorable? He doesn't understand.
This birthmark on your foot means that you are the missing heir you are wealthy beyond your widest dreams.
-How do you feel? -I don't feel nothing.
He don't feel nothing.
How do you like that? The modesty of the one to the manor born.
All right.
Come on, you clods, quick.
Some pillows, incense, myrrh.
We have a millionaire in our midst.
Listen to this, T.
C.
"The fortune left to the missing heir is rumored to be "in the neighborhood of a $1 million.
" That's a pretty fancy neighborhood.
Right, Benny? I'm hungry.
At a time like this you think of your stomach? What am I doing? I just struck a millionaire.
Forgive me, sir.
I lost my head.
I'll have it sharpened right away.
I'm a fool, sir.
A fool.
You don't have to call me "sir," T.
C.
B.
B.
will do.
It also says: "Since the heir has been missing more than three years "it is assumed that he is dead.
"In which case, the fortune will be divided equally "between the remaining faithful retainers "the butler Chutney and the dog Griswold.
" Let me see that.
"Divided equally between the butler Chutney "and the dog Griswold"? How do you like that? First, it's Dibble.
Now Griswold and Chutney.
I tell you, it's getting too crowded in the reward business.
Listen to this.
"Deadline for the missing heir to claim the fortune is noon today.
" -What time is it? Quickly, Brain.
-Let me see.
If the little hand is straight up -and the big hand is on nine.
-Forget it.
Grab that millionaire.
We can just make it.
Hup, two, three, four! Shift into high, boys.
Hup, two, three, four.
Faster! Don't lag, boys.
"And since the rightful heir is presumed departed "his legal claims terminate at 12:00 noon today "or in exactly seven minutes.
" Excuse me, sir.
I'll see who's at the door.
All right, boys.
Hands out of pockets straighten those ties.
Let's look good, lads.
Try to act like millionaires.
-Who is it, please? -Who is it? It is I, T.
C come to claim the fortune for my missing heir client.
None other than Cadwallader, to wit, half-wit, forthwith ad lib, and habeas corpus, etcetera.
One moment, sir.
Boys, the gates of wealth swing wide open.
-Who was it, Chutney? -Some beggars, sir.
Just asking for it.
A hand-out, that is.
All right, men, and I use the term loosely, we gotta move fast.
You heard of a man being shot out of a cannon? We're gonna shoot Benny on a short sub-orbital jaunt over the wall.
Choo Choo, I want you to pick me up an old football helmet.
Right, T.
C.
Fancy, I want some blasting powder they're using to build a new freeway.
Gotcha.
-Spook, I need an old trash can.
-I'm gone.
-Brain, I need a fuse.
-Where will I get a fuse? Where? How should I know? You're on a million-dollar scavenger hunt.
Go find a fuse.
All right, pay attention.
We got eight seconds to clear this wall and claim the dough.
You're all set, Benny? -Can I have a countdown, T.
C.
? -Sure, you can.
Three, two, one.
Hi.
Take me to your leader, lawyer.
-Who are you? -Does that ring a bell? -Cadwallader! -Cadwallader? Your description fits the appearance of the long missing Cadwallader.
I suggest you remain here until I establish this legally.
Loyal Chutney and devoted Griswold will care for you.
That we will, sir.
Sleep tight, Master Cadwallader.
And if you want anything, just ring for me.
Gee, thanks.
-Good night, sir.
-Good night to you, too, sir.
Remember, just pull the rope.
Thanks.
I'll remember.
What a nice guy.
Maybe I'll ring for some hot milk.
I'll probably sleep better.
-You rang, sir? -Yeah and look what happened.
Termites, sir.
King-sized.
I'll get you a new pillow.
Good.
The master is asleep.
Follow me, Griswold.
Rock-a-bye, baby, on the top floor We're going to drop you, and you'll be no more.
Easy.
All right.
Together.
Have a good trip, sir.
Gee whiz.
I'm beginning to think this millionaire routine is all wet.
Awful.
Patience, Griswold.
I shall put an end to both Master Cadwallader and that horrible music at the same time.
Shucks! I got you.
Yeah, well, thanks anyway.
How do you like that? Every time I call Benny the butler gives me "the master's indisposed" bit.
What a fair-weather friend Benny turned out to be.
While he dallies in fox hunts and lawn parties we sit here starving.
I tell you, if he wasn't so rich, I'd just cut off our friendship.
Chutney, did you hear from my friend, Top Cat, yet? No, sir, Master Cadwallader.
No calls at all.
Maybe, they're through with me because I'm loaded.
But I'll show them I'm the same old Benny.
I'm gonna throw a party and invite T.
C.
and the whole bunch.
An excellent idea.
I'll attend to the details, sir.
It's quite simple, Griswold.
This dynamite is wired to a certain key in the piano.
And when Master Cadwallader hits that certain note.
We eliminate the master and all his friends and the money will be mine.
I mean, ours.
All right, Top Cat.
What are you up to now? I haven't seen you so clean since I frisked you for my law citation book.
That's very cute, Officer Dibble, sir.
It's nice to know the long arm of the law has a funny bone.
-But for your misinformation, Dribble-- -It's Dibble.
All right, Dibble, we just received this engraved invitation to a party at the home of our wealthy friend Cadwallader formerly known as Benny the Ball.
Benny the Ball? Wealthy? I'll stake my badge on it being phony somehow.
Come on, fellows, we'll grab a cab.
I'm warning you, T.
C.
Stay out of trouble.
If it wasn't for trouble, you'd be out of a job.
You're a riot, Top Cat.
You'll wow them down at the station house if I catch you in any trouble tonight.
-Excuse me, is this your cab? -That's right.
I think you should know I just saw a guy trying to flag down a cab at the Richly place.
Richly place? Oh, boy! I'll get right over there.
-Thanks for the tip, pal.
-Only too glad to help, friend.
Hold on tight, Brain.
And I call her Smitty for short.
-How about a dance, Benny? -I don't know how.
-Luckily.
-I'll teach you.
I'm a dance instructor for Martha Furry.
Gee, that's the first time I ever danced the judo.
Top Cat here, I mean, Dribble here.
Officer Dibble.
Someone disturbing the peace at the Richly place? I know just who it is, Sarge.
I'll get down there right away.
Boy.
Imagine getting the goods on Top Cat for the first time.
All right, gang.
Simmer down.
As an extra added attraction our richly-talented friend Cadwallader formerly Benny, will play us a little tune on the 88.
Thanks, fellows.
I really only know one tune.
He doesn't know it but he's going to play his own obituary.
Sorry, fellows.
I'll start all over again.
That stupid.
Oh, no.
Not again! Not that way.
Like this.
Griswold can take the rap for that explosion.
I'll take the $1 million and beat it.
And with the help of this little gadget I'll leave enough evidence to put the blame on that stupid dog.
A few dozen incriminating paw prints should do the trick.
Why, you.
Help! Somebody help me! Help! This is one rap Top Cat won't beat.
I just gotta keep cool.
Mustn't tip my hand.
Gotta surprise him.
All right, T.
C.
You're under arrest.
Help! Machine Gun Chutney! We've been after you for years.
You're under arrest, Chutney.
Now, that's what I call a pip of an entrance, Dibble.
-What are you going to do for an encore? -I'll tend to you later, Top Cat after I collect the reward for this crook.
Reward for Chutney? How did I miss that? Well, what do we need with a paltry reward when we have a wealthy friend like Benny? All right, everybody.
Back to the music, mirth, hilarity.
Fun.
Fun.
Fun.
-See who it is, will you, Benny? -Okay, T.
C.
Maybe it is Officer Dibble trying to crash the party.
Hiya, Mr.
Lawyer.
Who's this? -This is Cadwallader.
-Cad what? It couldn't be.
There must be a mistake.
No mistake, sir.
An officer just brought in Chutney who confessed that he tried to do away with Cadwallader -three years ago.
-Very clever.
Beautiful.
But I'm afraid you opportunity-seekers are a bit late with your impostor.
This Benny person is the impostor.
And my client is the real Cadwallader.
Yeah? Does he have a birthmark or reasonable facsimile thereof -to wit and stuff like that there? -Indeed we have.
Show him, Cadwallader.
There is the proof.
A birthmark on the sole of his foot.
A crude imitation of the real thing.
Such as we have right here.
-Chewing gum? -Chewing gum? Yeah.
Chewing gum.
Well, for a while there, we almost had it $1 million in the palm of my hand.
But Bubblehead Benny turns out to be an impostor.
-I'm sorry, T.
C.
-"I'm sorry, T.
C.
" You're sorry, but Dibble winds up with the reward while we wind up with nothing.
Look who's here! It's good old Cadwallader.
-Hiya, fellers.
-Now let me do the talking, you guys.
We might salvage a few hundred thousand yet.
Cadwallader, Your Majesty.
Imagine running into you down here.
Small world, isn't it? I was thinking that if it were possible I'd like to join your good group.
Well, sir, this is just your lucky day.
We just happened to have one membership left.
And since we know you to be a reputable type we'll just skip the usual assessments and get right down to the exorbitant initiation fee.
But I don't have any more money.
Excuse me.
For a minute, I thought I heard you say -you have no more money.
-That's right.
I gave away the money.
I wanna be just like you guys.
Will you repeat that again slowly? I gave away the money.
Oh, boy.
What's the matter, T.
C.
? You look sick.
I always look like this when I lose $1 million.
Good night, fellows.
Don't call me early.
I'm feeling sick.