Turbo FAST (2013) s01e06 Episode Script

1 # - Whoa! - Woo! # Those snails are fast - # Turbo - F-A-S-T # That's the team you'll never beat Turbo, he got super speed Whiplash, he jets to the lead Skidmark, propeller flow Chet's safe, he'll take it slow Smoove Move with them speakers, baby Burn burnin' that fire crazy White Shadow, big with no fear Now you know the team is here There they go, gone in a flash - # Those snails are fast - Turbo # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # Those snails are fast, fast, fast, fast, fast - # Turbo - Woo! # Shoulda got a taco, bro.
Look alive, snails! We've got a Code Tito! And he's got a package.
Make room! - I wonder what it is.
- Oh! I hope it's a robot! Or a puppy! Or a robot puppy that makes ice cream, and also solves mysteries! Got a little surprise for you, Turbo.
She's coming down.
Clear out! Clear out! Not again.
Forklift! Thanks, Murray.
I think your girlfriend is really gonna like it.
For the last time, I'm a guy! A very macho man.
Cool! This must be my new cologne.
Clones! Ah! They've cloned Turbo.
Destroy them all! Uh No, Skidmark.
"Co-logne.
" That you wear.
To smell good? - I still don't get it! - It's called, "Eau de Turbeaux.
" Tito let me pick out the scent myself.
Awesome! Congrats, Turbo! Uh, Shadow? I'm over here.
Oh, right.
- Hey, not bad.
- Mmm-hmm.
Ooh, I am diggin' that smell, baby! Yeah, well, hold up.
There's enough for everybody here.
Put some right here on me.
I'd like some.
Give it a try, Whip! Why would I want to smell like anybody other than me? Besides, I'm getting a little tired of all this junk you've been putting your face on crowding up my track.
Turbo-brand cheese-in-a-can, Turbo-brand adult diapers.
Turbo-brand dancing clogs? - You don't even have feet! - Turbo can't help it if everything he endorses sells like hotcakes.
Well, except for those raspberry filled Turbo-brand hotcakes.
Here you go, sweetie.
- Are you a racer or a spokesmodel? - A racer, of course.
This is just a little something extra I like to do for my fans.
What your fans want you to do for them is win races! Which you can't do if you don't practice 'cause you're wasting your time with this stuff.
You're right.
Absolutely right.
Let's head to the track.
Right after we pass these out to everyone.
- We got enough for everyone.
- Here's one.
- Here you go.
- Smell like you want to.
Now I smell just like Turbo.
Cool! See, Whip? My cologne's bringing joy to the whole city.
Well, I think it's makin' this place smell like a big bucket of stank.
Now enough tail-dragging, it's time for practice.
Crow! Whoa, what was that all about? Normally, the plastic owl keeps those guys out of here.
It's a sign of the apocalypse! Skidmark, you said bacon-flavored popcorn - was a sign of the apocalypse.
- There could be two signs! Maybe we should just call off practice and grab lunch.
I have a sudden craving for bacon-flavored popcorn.
We are not calling off practice because of one random crow! - Now come on, let's jet.
- Let's do this.
Come on.
We gotta do this, everybody! Watch out, garden snail! I'm about to take you to school.
Well, I'm about to take you to college! And not some community college.
I'm talking about a fancy private school with uniforms and, you know, whatever other things private schools have, like, like, like book butlers.
There's no such thing as a Hawk! Yeah, there is.
Hawks are big scary birds like that one! Ahh! In here! Thanks, Boo.
Ahh! Hands off my man! - Oh, no! It took Turbo! - Shadow, that was cologne.
Oh, no! It took the cologne! Why are all these birds suddenly attacking? - My theory - Better not include the word apocalypse.
- Never mind.
- Where'd everybody go? They probably went inside because of the weather.
Look at all this snow! Wait a minute! That ain't snow.
Beat it, birds! Vamos! Run! - Whoo.
Made it.
- That was close! I think I ate some of that "snow.
" Hey, where's Whiplash? - That snowy stuff jammed his engine.
- Whiplash! Come on.
Come on! Oh, bring it, birds! I ain't going down without a fight! Ahh! Dang, Whip, what happened? We thought you was deader than disco.
Me too.
But the birds seemed to want that cologne more than they wanted me.
Yeah.
They are going crazy for it! They must be attracted to one of the chemical ingredients.
Maybe if I run a series of controlled scientific trials to isolate the molecular compound, I can find out what It's French fry grease.
Ahh, makes sense.
Birds love French fries.
You know, I thought it smelled familiar when I picked it out.
In a way, I guess this makes me a little responsible for this.
A little? It's only your cologne, that you picked out, and then gave it to everyone in town.
OK, maybe more than a little responsible.
Don't worry, brother.
We can cower in here as long as it takes.
Ooh! Let's play 20 questions.
I'm thinking of a mineral, and it's a doozy! - Is it cobalt? - Dang it! They must've picked up our scent! They'll gobble us up like a bag of bacon-flavored popcorn! What are we gonna do?! We gotta get those stinkin' birds outta here.
Lead 'em far away from the city so they lose the scent.
- Not "we.
" Me.
- Brother, no! I got us into this mess, so I am gonna get us out of it.
Wait! Before you go, there's something you absolutely have to know.
The capital of Delaware is Dover.
It is not Wilmington like you'd think! Yeah, thanks, Skid.
That, that helps.
Come and get it, fellas! They're leaving the city! Hooray! - Hey, look, I'm a snowman! - Bleh! Come on, birds.
Let's get far, far away.
Ho, ha! I guess this should be far enough.
Now, how do I get rid of you guys for good? Oh, way to go, Tod! You spent all our money building this state-of-the-art aviary, and now we can't afford to buy any birds! I believed in you all along! Ahh! Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
Ha! What's the matter? Too earthy for ya? Ugh! Brother, you're back! Slug hug! You smell like a big pile of Air fresheners, coming through! Now that those crazy birds are gone, this place could use some freshening up.
Whoo! You need two.
Hmm.
These smell nice.
What do you think, Turbo? - Hey, I'm just glad we're safe now.
- Comes in five different scents.
Sea Breeze, New Car Smell Ohh, lavender! Ooh, these smell like pine trees! Wait, "pine trees?" Isn't that gonna attract Beavers! Snail mail! We're clear! Give it a pull! Ooh.
Buy one, get one free at the discount piano warehouse! I'd be a dummy not to use this! My latest issue of "Paranoid Citizens Monthly!" That's addressed to Dr.
Carlos Ortega.
You think I'd give them my real name? I'm off the grid, yo! Ladies Choice Lavender Lotion? Here you go, Burn.
Actually, I'll be taking that.
- This one's for you, brother.
- Can I get a hand, Skid? "Dear Turbo, my name is Little Timmy McSnail, and I'm your number one fan.
Sadly," Oh.
"I was born with a crooked shell, and the other kids at the orphanage tease me every day.
So this Saturday I'm having an experimental shell transplant.
My only wish is to meet you before I go under.
" That's the saddest thing I've ever heard - "PS: I also don't have a tail.
" - It just got sadder! Guys, we gotta go see Timmy.
Yeah, we should go see the little guy.
Can we stop at the discount piano warehouse on the way back? Where's the orphanage? Timmy's directions don't make any sense.
Give the kid a break.
He was born with a crooked shell.
That must be the road right there.
Well, well, well.
Looky what we have here - trespassers.
- Sorry, who are you? I'm the sheriff of these parts.
Sheriff Rudy Guana.
Look, Sheriff, we're sorry.
Can't we just pay a fine or something and be on our way? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Are you trying to bribe an officer of the law? What? Bribe?! I don't even tip! - Tell it to the judge! - We'd be glad to.
- So where's the judge? - Right here! Hear ye, hear ye! This court is now in session! You gotta be kidding me.
C'mon, lizard, just let us pay the dang fine and get out of here already! Whoa! Now you're trying to bribe a judge? Big mistake! I hereby sentence you to hard time at the local penitentiary.
And if you think I'm tough, wait till you meet the warden.
- Now, you boys get comfy.
- I can't do this! I'm not gonna make it! I'm too delicate for jail! Calm down, Boo! You're too delicate for socks! They're scratchy! OK, OK, I'm good, I'm good.
I just won't think about the cramped spaces, or scary inmates, or shared toilets I gotta get outta here! Looks like we got us a screamer.
As much as I'd like some peace and quiet, we can't let you take the snail.
- Let's take him to the box.
- The box?! No! That sounds bad! I'll do anything! I'll squeal! I know about some overdue library books! Can you use that? Hey, Gulpy, you got a new cellmate.
Try not to eat this one like all the others.
Gulpy? I didn't mean to eat all those guys.
I-It's a reflex.
My tongue, it grabs anything that moves! You gotta do me a favor and stay perfectly still.
No problem.
Now let that be a lesson to the rest of you tomato-lickers.
Look, Warden, let me level with you.
I've gotta see a seriously sick snail slated for shell surgery on Saturday.
Wow, that was hard to say.
- Anyway, please, have a heart.
- Well, I may be cold-blooded, but that don't make me unreasonable.
I tell you what.
I happen to fancy myself a bit of a racer.
In fact, I told my sweet mama I'm the fastest - racer in these United States.
- And she believed you? Well, no.
But she will if she sees me beat - the great Turbo the Snail! - You want to race me? Well, all right, but I'm not sure you'll stand much of a chance.
Oh, I think I will.
'Cause if you want that sick little snail to get a visit from the Indy 500 champ, you're gonna let me win.
You want Turbo to throw a race? That ain't how we do, lizard! I ain't talking to you, perps! OK, if that's what it takes to get out of here in time to help a fan in need, then I'll do it.
I'll call my mama.
And she had the nerve to say she got the warts from me! Boy, you sure are easy to talk to.
- I hope I don't end up eating you.
- T-That makes two of us.
Shoo, fly! Don't bother me! If we're gonna be boxmates, this tongue thing is an issue we're really gonna have to work on.
All righty, this race is to the top of Devil's Spire.
And don't forget to make me look good in front of my mama.
Hey, Mama! It's that racing snail from the TV! I's gonna beat him to the top! I believe it when I see it.
Let's just get this over with.
- I'll make you proud, Mama! - Mmm-hmm.
On your mark, get set Seriously? Thought you was a fancy racing snail? You don't seem so fast to me! Ahh! I guess ever since I saw my dad eat my pet dragonfly, I've been keeping the whole world at tongue's length.
Gulpy, this may be hard to believe, but I'm a lot like you.
You're scared of getting close to others.
And I'm scared of, well, everything.
Jail, hummingbirds, most ringtones.
So, what should I do? Get out there and show the world you control your tongue, - it doesn't control you.
- How am I gonna do that? I've been stuck in this box as long as I can remember.
Then we better fix that together.
- Which means, don't eat me.
- I'll try.
How's the view back there, slowpoke? Hey, Mama, can you believe this slime-belly won the Indy 500? - Hey, take it easy! - I'll do as I please, if you ever want to see that sick Little Timmy McSnail.
Wait I never told you his name.
Eh ooh uh I just guessed that's what a kid with a crooked shell would be named.
I didn't tell you he had a crooked shell either.
This was all a setup! You sent the letter! There is no Timmy.
You just made the whole thing up so you could lure me out here and pretend to beat me in a race! Well I ain't pretending now, tail-dragger! Neither am I.
Help! Help! - Huh? - I couldn't help myself.
Now, Gulpy! Nice work! You're the master of your own tongue.
Freedom! Melt, baby, melt! - It didn't melt.
- Let me try! Cage punch! What smells like barbecue? Mmm Now I'm hungry for barbecue.
This is more pointless than an amputated starfish, baby.
- We're never busting out of this joint.
- Well, we've gotta try.
It's not like we can just sit around and wait for Chet to free us.
Huh, I stand corrected.
You see me, Mama? I'm doing it! Hmm.
Aww, nuts! Hey, Sheriff-Judge-Warden Guana, now you can add "Loser" to your résumé.
How dare you embarrass me in front of my beloved mama! I think you and your mom have bigger issues.
Never amount to anything.
Now if you excuse me, I've got some friends to set free.
Well then, I'll show you the quickest way down there! Huh? Oh, no, Turbo! We'll never be able to get up there in time! Yee-haw! Hope you can fly, jailbird! Whoa! - Gulpy - Sorry.
- Chet! You saved me! - Thanks to my new friend.
Now, that's what I call tongue control! You boys is fugitives! Get back here! Uh-oh.
Did ya lose yet? We did it! You always was a disappointment.
C'mon, Sombrero Fly.
You're my new son.
He got a bad relationship with his mom.
Yeah!